


Blood Moon

by BlackenedWing



Series: Duet Series (Kaname x Zero) [7]
Category: Vampire Knight
Genre: Angst, Blood Drinking, Bondage, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Natural Disasters, One Shot, Vampire Sex, Whump, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-14
Updated: 2008-12-14
Packaged: 2017-10-11 09:23:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 30
Words: 238,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/110856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackenedWing/pseuds/BlackenedWing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yuki's death shatters Zero and Kaname's world, driving them forcefully apart. Torn by guilt and blame but bound by blood, they must either salvage their relationship or face the reality that they will destroy eachother. Can two broken hearts trust again?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ashes to Ashes

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Somewhat graphic yaoi (male/male) lemon. Blood, violence, vampirism, character death (remembered), attempted suicide, character whumping and intense angst. If any of the preceding disturbs you, please don't read this story. Other warnings added to individual chapters as needed.
> 
> Pairings: Kaname x Zero
> 
> Series: This story is part of the Duet Series, which follows Kaname and Zero and their relationship as based off of my story "Crimson Door".
> 
> Important: This whole series splits off and is AU from the Vampire Knight Manga as of Chapter 33. In this universe Yuki really was a human, born of human parents who were friends of Kaname's parents. Kaname's parents were both murdered by Rido, Kaname all but killed Rido to avenge them and keep from becoming his ward, and Yuki's parents were killed as a result, leaving Yuki with no memory and Kaname the only one left to look out for her interests and his own. Everything else is in accord with the Manga version of events up to right after Kaname asks Yuki to be his lover. Everything from there on out, as told in my story "Crimson Door" is different. As long as you know that, you don't absolutely have to have read any of my other stories to read this one, but it may make more sense, and will certainly mean more if you've read "Crimson Door" first.
> 
> A/N: This story takes place around a year or so after the events in "Crimson Door". Some parts, especially the beginning chapters, are very dark and angsty. Usually I try to break that up with a little levity or tension-escapes somewhere and we'll get to that point eventually, but due to the nature of what's happening and the emotions being dealt with, there isn't a lot of opportunity for that initially. So you've been warned; there's a bit of a stormy ride ahead for a couple of chapters at least.
> 
> Disclaimer: Vampire Knight and its characters do not belong to me. They belong to their inspired creator Matsuri Hino. I borrow them without permission, but with great affection. This story is for entertainment purposes only; no money is being made from it.

**Chapter One: "Ashes to Ashes"**

The moon was silver on the black, gently rippling surface of the glassy lake. Silver hair glinted dimly in the moonlight as it rippled languidly with the dark waves, like a phantom, a ghost of that which no longer lived. Silver eyes unblinkingly watched the moon become wavery and distorted as the still head slipped slowly beneath the surface, body sinking into the peaceful, chilly embrace of the lake. Invisible in the darkness of the moonlit water, crimson spread freely through the lapping waves creating an

unending red tide visible only where it made the sinking silver hair turn blood colored in the light of the unmoved, unreachable moon. The moon... it looked so big tonight, like it might slide gracefully down from the sky at any moment and crush the earth softly below it, putting all foolish terrestrial suffering to rest. But it wouldn't happen soon enough... not for him.

His heart and soul had already been crushed and this was the only escape. _She_ was gone, and her death had taken everything good out of the world, including Zero Kiriyu's will to live.

He'd always expected to protect her until his fatedly short life should end. Never expected her to feel about him the way he did about her, but it was enough to be close to her, to be sure she was happy and safe... but so much had happened this past year, so much had changed. The events put in motion by Kaname's scheming uncle Rido had opened a world of strange possibilities that he'd have never considered before. Not only had things changed in unexpected and wonderfully with Yuki, but... there'd been Kaname in the picture too. Hunter, human, pureblood... unthinkable, but the three of them had been so happy for a little while.

A little while... so brief. So brief a time to live in a beautiful lie. Like a flicker of sunlight in the middle of a dark winter. Somehow the few moments in the sun just made the darkness afterwards all the worse. The hesitant beauty of the lie he'd almost let himself believe made the truth all the more unbearably ugly. Life had proved again just how cruel it could be, as if any of them had needed the reminder. Of all the things Zero had expected, he'd never expected her to leave him like this. To go where he could not follow... but no, he was following now. Soon... _soon_... if there was any mercy in death where there was none in life.

_Yuki... I never imagined you would die before I did. _

He couldn't stand to think of her, the way she had been these past weeks. Fading slowly like a flower after winter frost, so pale and in so much pain... it was a mercy, really, when it was finally over. She had looked so peaceful lying there where pain could no longer trouble her, where she could dream beautiful dreams for eternity. If there was a heaven, Yuki was there, Zero felt sure of it. She had always been an angel in life; she would surely be with them in death. He doubted he'd be bound for anywhere so bright, but still... something in him knew that he'd see her again, beyond. He didn't want to wait. He couldn't live in such an empty world; he envied her that peace he'd seen on her face.

Guilt tugged briefly at him, uninvited, as another face passed through his mind.

_Kaname. _

It would hurt the pureblood, when he died – physically if nothing else, because of the bond they shared. Zero didn't want to care, yet some part of him regretted it, even as he tried to deny that he did. Kaname would be all right... he had to believe that. The hunter had done his homework. He'd performed all the proper charms to try to seal off their bond on his end before he'd waded out into the lake. You couldn't dissolve or unmake a blood bond, but there were ways to temporarily suppress them and lessen their impact, at least that's what the books said. Even in his current state of mind, even with the hurt and anger he felt towards the pureblood right now, Zero didn't want to put Kaname through what he'd seen him go through after Ichijo's death. So Zero had taken as many precautions as he could. Kaname had survived that, and he'd survive this too, although Zero wasn't sure why he should care after... after what he'd done.

Zero just... he couldn't do this anymore. He'd tried. He couldn't. He needed the pain to stop.

It was better this way for both of them. Kaname would undoubtedly be glad to be rid of him, once the worst was over. The pureblood could be free again, to someday bond with someone he'd actually chosen, someone he didn't have to hide. It wasn't like there was anything between them other than biology after all. Zero'd almost thought maybe there was once. He'd let Kuran screw with his head and his heart until he really thought he... he cared. Deep enough to... to... almost... but no. It had obviously just been vampire hormones and pheromones at work and Zero had been confused by a culture to which he was not native. Ever since Yuki fell ill... the hunter and the pureblood had barely spoken to one another. The strain of these past weeks had torn apart their fragile beginnings of a relationship and stretched a long, icy gulf of distance between them once more.

They'd been together when Yuki was attacked. They should have been with her... they should have protected her. Everything would have turned out so differently... but it hadn't. And Kaname hadn't looked at Zero or touched him again from that moment on. Zero felt oddly betrayed, but he'd pushed Kaname away just as hard after that night, he'd felt just as guilty, just as responsible, angrily shunning any possible attempts at reconciliation.

_Yuki would be alive if it weren't for me. If it weren't for Kaname. _

Pain bubbled raw in his chest, like blood oozing from a wound. No. Kaname wouldn't miss him. The pureblood had made very clear to Zero exactly how he really saw him, what his place was and how little he meant.

_"Shut up, Kiriyu! I don't owe you anything! Don't think you can presume to have some kind of claim over me just because you've warmed my bed. You drink my blood; I keep you alive; I've _paid_ for your services. So don't you _dare_ talk to me like that..." _

They'd been arguing. Kaname had been furiously angry. He'd thrown Zero back against the wall and accidentally broken a couple of the ex-human's ribs, but that hadn't really hurt. The words and the tone hurt, though Zero denied how much. The truth... the ugly truth... _that_ was what hurt. Yet true it was. That's what Zero had done. Willingly. He'd warmed the pureblood's bed as a pleasurable toy to be used and discarded. He'd lied to himself and tried to believe it was something more than what it was. He'd let himself become a vampire's thrall, an addict helplessly hooked on Kaname's blood. Maybe Kaname had been fooling himself too in the beginning, or maybe he'd manipulated Zero since the start. Zero didn't know; how _could_ you ever know with someone so cleverly skilled at getting his own way? It didn't matter. The end result was the same. Rido had seen it in the beginning, he'd known how the pureblood mind worked, he'd even been inside Kaname's head at the time, but Zero had thought he was wrong. Had thought Kaname wasn't like that. Despite everything, some small, stubborn part of him still thought that, still refused to believe that he'd been _that_ mistaken about Kuran.

_Pathetic._ It was like when Master Toga lost his eye all over again. Zero really never learned, did he? Never trust vampires. They are not like us. _Us... _but who _was_ **us **anymore? What identity, what purpose did he have that made any kind of sense? None. He had nothing. He _was_ nothing.

Zero couldn't actually hate Kaname, even though he'd tried. Kaname hadn't made him into anything he hadn't been willing to become. He hated himself far too much to have much of that emotion left over for anyone else. God... why hadn't he just died with his family, years ago? Life had made a cosmic mistake back then, letting him live. Now, he was simply rectifying nature's error.

He'd promised Yuki he wouldn't do this. That was his only regret. At least, the only one to which he would admit.

"_Promise me, Zero... you won't grieve too much? Promise me you'll find a reason to smile again, that you'll live a full, happy life... for me, Zero, you've got to do it for me, please... promise me..." _

Of course he'd promised her. He would have promised her anything. But it was a promise he couldn't keep. She had to know that. She would forgive him... she always did...

Bubbles rushed by Zero's face as the air escaped his aching lungs. But he didn't struggle in the water. He didn't care, and he was already too weak. He'd swum out here to the middle of the lake and slit his wrists under the water. The anti-vampire blade he'd used made sure that the wounds wouldn't close too quickly, and the fact that his blood was seeping directly into the water, diluted and swallowed by the lake, ensured that the vampires at the school would not catch his scent until it was too late. Floating on his back in the still water, he'd watched the moon as his life drained gradually away until swirling dizziness finally started to claim the hunter and he slowly sank beneath the surface.

Zero thought he'd feel peace by now, but still, all he could feel was pain. Would there be no peace for him even in death? Could he never feel whole again?

Yuki had been poisoned, although perhaps _infected _was a more proper word. They still didn't know who had done it, or why. She'd been attacked and knocked unconscious by an unseen assailant one night when she was patrolling the school ground. Zero should have been on patrol with her... but Kaname had caught him in one of the empty classrooms and he'd quite willingly let the pureblood distract him. Oh God... if only he had been there, where he was supposed to be. If only he could turn back time...

She'd been taken to the hospital and at first it had seemed a pretty minor incident leaving just a few bruises and a small puncture mark on her arm... but then the blood panels came back showing the early onset of a disease that was actively destroying her immune system and attacking her own cells. It was an affliction not quite like anything documented by medical science and the doctors were at a loss. It was a blood-borne disease that had properties similar to Lupus and HIV, but it wasn't either of them and none of the conventional treatments had any effect. She'd been quarantined initially, until the doctors had ascertained for certain that blood-to-blood contact was the only way that the highly destructive virus could be contracted.

Everything had been done to try and save her. Kaname had exerted the significant power and wealth he possessed to bring in every single specialist the vampire and human worlds had to offer. The massive manhunt that he'd orchestrated in order to try to find the ones responsible for doing this to her made the search for certain high profile terrorist leaders look like an Easter egg hunt by comparison. It came as no surprise that Kaname was an ideal universal donor and the pureblood had all but killed himself giving Yuki constant transfusions of his own blood to try to replace her tainted plasma, pouring every shred of energy in his body into hers, struggling to stave off the inevitable. He'd bought her time for a while, but it obviously wasn't going to be enough.

In desperation, he'd finally bitten her, despite the faint, but still real danger that he could possibly contract her mysterious disease himself by drinking her blood. He'd turned her to try to save her, thinking that maybe the strength of being a vampire would buy Yuki more time, would enable her body to heal more quickly and fight back against what was happening – maybe even cure her. It also let her drink his blood directly, which he gave to her freely, practically forcing her to almost drain him.

Unfortunately, it had proved to be a mistake. The process of changing had inexplicably and unexpectedly accelerated the effects of the disease. It had, ironically, saved Kaname from the effects of forming yet another doomed blood bond because of the way the disease had corrupted and totally altered Yuki's blood and physical make-up, making bonding impossible, but unfortunately it also meant that Kaname's bite and his blood did Yuki far more harm than good.

Kaname had been completely and utterly devastated. Zero had been furious that Kaname had just gone and done that to Yuki without talking to any of them about it. It was why they'd had that argument that ended up breaking Zero's ribs.

None of them slept for weeks as Yuki slowly faded away from the long, wasting illness for which there was no cure. No expense or effort was spared. But in the end, it hadn't mattered. Death had been the victor and they'd finally lost her.

As his vision started to fade, Zero thought he saw Yuki's face looking at him through the water. She appeared sad, upset. _What are you doing Zero? How could you? You promised you would live for me... that you would see and do all the things I wasn't able to... you promised me you wouldn't abandon Kaname... how could you do this?_

But it was too late; he was too far gone, he couldn't take back what he'd done. His dimming gaze begged her to understand. _Forgive me, Yuki... I just can't do this alone..._


	2. Dust to Dust

**Chapter Two: "Dust to Dust"**

Kaname gazed at the legal brief on his desk without seeing it. He'd read the same sentence five times and still didn't know what it said. The oppressive silence was disrupted as the pencil in his hand snapped, and he turned his head slowly to look at the splintered wood, unaware he'd been holding it so tightly.

A few of the sharp splinters had dug into his palm and the pureblood dropped the pencil, numbly plucking the splinters from his flesh and licking the wound absently. It wasn't bleeding. It should hurt, but he didn't even feel the pain. He was numb, almost completely emotionally shutdown and that bled over even into the physical.

The Moon Dorms were quiet and still around him, everyone else was at class. Kaname didn't go to classes anymore. He still had, after the Chairman's death. The vampires were there for voluntary learning, they could leave any time they liked, but Kaname had tried to keep things as normal as possible for everyone during the initially somewhat bumpy period after Cross's death. Over all, the new Headmistress had handled the school well and for a while, everything had worked beautifully. Kaname had been at Yuki and Zero's graduation. He'd seen the first generation of young, pre-adolescent hunters arrive at the school for their first term, wary, suspicious and wide-eyed amid the other fawning humans when they passed the Night Class every evening. He'd helped Yuki look at colleges and watched Zero start to blossom in his hunter training. And then... then...

Kaname hadn't been back to class since they realized the seriousness of Yuki's illness. He couldn't concentrate, couldn't hope or want to learn anything. The teachers were too afraid to give him bad grades, but he knew if he were anyone else he would have flunked out. But it didn't matter because he'd simply removed himself completely and dropped all his classes. He couldn't bring himself to walk the familiar path from the Moon Dorms to the class building anymore. He couldn't bear to see the two new prefects trying to control the Day Class students, couldn't bear to look around when it seemed that each building and blade of grass around here held some memory of either Yuki or Zero. Every brick and twig condemned his hideous failures and broken promises. School held no appeal anymore. This place held no appeal. It wouldn't be long now before he left for good. There were far, far too many ghosts in these halls.

Looking at the papers on his desk made him sick. For the second time in only a little over a year, Kaname was struggling to save Cross Academy, but now he hardly knew why anymore. Yuki's death meant that the Academy's ownership once more fell into doubt, even if she had been owner in name only. Kaname had little patience to go through this whole mess again. He did it only because he knew Yuki would have wanted it, would have wanted the dream to continue. It _was_ continuing around them, every day. The school was flourishing, providing that neutral ground for the different races to glimpse how the other side lived and try to find some similarities amid the differences. But as much as Kaname took a certain numb satisfaction in all that, it also seemed almost cruel, that life should go on, should continue to blossom and unfold with beauty for others when darkness was all that encompassed his world now.

This time, Kaname simply took ownership of the school himself. He was still Yuki's legal guardian, as he had been since Cross's death. Ergo, he was also her executor and it wasn't that hard to do. He would own the place, but he wouldn't run it. Headmistress Wren could continue doing that, he would leave everything to do with the school in her capable hands; he'd simply continue to supplement the budget if needed and keep it in his sphere of protection and support as far as the vampire world was concerned. As wretched as he felt personally, he was trying to keep the bigger picture in mind, trying to go through the motions and do the right things, the things that were expected of him, that only he could do... Trying to go on as if he didn't lie in bed every evening, staring at the ceiling and trying to find one damn reason why he should want to get up and start another night. Usually he couldn't. But he got up anyway. Because it was expected of him. Because so many people depended on him. Sometimes... sometimes he wished they'd all go to hell and leave him alone, let him be a _person _instead of a pureblood. Sometimes, he wished he wouldn't wake up at all.

Once he had finished with what needed to be done here legally as far as the school was concerned, then Kaname was leaving this place. There were always matters demanding his attention and it was time he started paying more attention to the rest of his business affairs. In the past, the elder Ichijo had managed much of his estate for him, although that was not by Kaname's choice. Since Asato's death, Kaname had had to take a more active role. Now, he would be more active still. He was going to expand his holdings until he had his fingers in everything, especially bio and pharmaceutical research and development. The disease that killed Yuki had been no fluke. It was engineered by someone. One day he was going to find out who, and why. The fact that whoever it was had been so successful at covering his or her tracks that even the pureblood hadn't been able to find them meant that they were either connected and powerful, or brilliantly clever. Either one constituted a grave threat. Kaname was going to amass such a fortune and such a broad reach that he could keep the search going for as long as it took to find the truth. It was the only goal worth living for anymore.

There were some details though that were... problematic. Kaname closed his eyes. That was a euphemistic way of thinking of it. What he meant was... there was Zero to consider. Zero wouldn't want to come with him, _Zero_ couldn't stand to look at him, but he couldn't leave the boy here either. Kaname flatly refused to dwell on the real, deep-down reason that he couldn't leave him behind. There were plenty of other reasons and concerns more easily articulated.

The ex-human had refused to feed from him for weeks. Kaname knew Zero must be starving and was almost certain he'd gotten blood from someone else, or he wouldn't have lasted this long. No one from the school of course, Zero wouldn't do that, and he was smart enough not to let Kaname or any of the other vampires catch him wherever he _was_ foraging. Technically, the Night Class code of conduct didn't apply to him, since he'd never been made part of the Night Class, but Kaname still had a responsibility to him and to the safety of the nearby town. Put crudely... Zero was his problem to manage. Kaname was certain that the ex-human wouldn't have killed anyone, but this development was still both dangerous and disturbing. Yes, Zero was a special case because he couldn't handle the blood tablets, but Kaname still couldn't let him start sampling off any random human he pleased. Worse though... the pureblood knew it would eventually destroy the boy inside to know what he was doing. Zero wasn't _made _to be a vampire. He didn't have the instinct of a predator, of a killer, ingrained in his soul.

Kaname refused to admit to the worried concern he had for the hunter's state of mind, or the jealousy he felt at the thought of Zero drinking someone else's blood. He had been shocked, and more than a little hurt when he'd figured it out. Zero really hated him enough to go against his own nature and seek a human victim rather than the blood Kaname would have willingly offered him? It was about then that Kaname had truly stopped allowing himself to feel or care about anything. Numbness was so much better than the constant, unrelenting pain of which he could never be allowed to give expression.

Kaname knew though, that without his uniquely powerful blood, Zero would eventually start succumbing to the madness again. He couldn't have that... he was bound to Zero, their fates were intertwined. Of _course_ that was the only reason he was concerned... he told himself the lie, despite the fact that it would never feel true.

_"How could you _do _that to her without even talking about it? How could you violate her like that, without considering the danger?" Zero was shouting in his face, pain and anger in his seething eyes. _

_Kaname's chest was so tight he couldn't breathe. He was still reeling in shock. All he could see in his minds eye was Yuki's body convulsing on the bed as the doctors crowded around, trying to stabilize her. He'd done that to her. His fault... Oh God... his fault... Rage, quick and hot flew up to cover the unbearable agony and his eyes were icy steel as they locked on Zero's. _

_"It shouldn't have _been_ dangerous!" he snapped back angrily. "There's no reason her becoming a vampire should have precipitated something like this! And I didn't violate her! She consented..." his voice rasped raw, anger only just covering his broken and shattered insides, but Zero couldn't see that, they were both far too blinded by pain and anger at life, anger now being directed at each other. _

_"She'd do anything you asked her to, you know that! You should have known better. Maybe once in your friggin' life you should have thought you might just not have all the answers," Zero almost trembled from the rage and hurt tearing him apart. They were going to lose her. They were going to lose her and there wasn't anything he could do..._

_"Shut up," Kaname ground out through his teeth, too worked up to even come up with a better retort. He just wanted Zero to go away and stop grinding his own crushing sense of guilt in even deeper, like twisting glass shards in a bleeding wound. _

_"You should have at least told me! Or the doctors, or _somebody_!" Zero's throat was threatening to close off. He was willing himself not to start crying. "Maybe they could have done something when things started to go wrong! You damn son of bitch, you owed her that much! You owed _me_ that much!" _

_Kaname rounded on him, hands snapping up, moving on instinct before he could stop himself, the air expanding violently between them as he threw Zero backwards into the wall. _

_"Shut up, Kiriyu! I don't owe you anything! Don't think you can presume to have some kind of claim over me just because you've warmed my bed. You drink my blood; I keep you alive; I've _paid_ for your services. So don't you _dare_ talk to me like that..." _

_Zero slid down the wall, hugging himself and curling over in obvious pain. Kaname was too angry to feel remorse, but he moved towards him, drawn to check on the hunter's wellbeing despite himself. Zero's head snapped up and the look in his eyes told Kaname to keep his distance. _

_"I hate you, Kuran. Stay away from me. You ever touch me again and I swear I'll try to kill you." _

Kaname absently rubbed the base of his throat. For weeks now, he'd been feeling Zero's emotional turmoil roiling through their bond. It was too much for him to deal with on top of his own and he'd tried to clamp down on it and ignore the input. It was odd though, because he realized with a small start that the bond wasn't throbbing anymore when he stopped to pay attention to it. It was quiet for the first time in a long time. At first, Kaname felt a small sensation of relief, like he'd been freed from an intense, nagging headache which had been his constant companion. But relief quickly faded right back into wariness because he realized it was an artificial quiet, as if the bond had somehow been muted or muffled on the other end. Kaname had been lost in work and he wasn't sure when the change had occurred.

His brows furrowed in a small frown, not sure what it meant.

Agitated, disturbed and not knowing quite why, Kaname rose and left his bedroom, pacing out onto his balcony to feel the cool night air. Zero had been in an increasingly dark and depressive mood the past few days. He shouldn't care, after the way Zero had treated him, after the things he'd said... but he was worried anyway. Ironically, it was the one feeling that seemed to be able to penetrate Kaname's blank emotional numbness.

Suddenly the pureblood froze and another emotion finally pierced through the thick walls surrounding him – fear. Stark, intense, overwhelming fear. The night wind had carried the faintest whiff of a scent to his keen senses.

_Blood. _

_Zero's blood. _


	3. My Tears to Your Tears

**Chapter Three: "My Tears to Your Tears"**

The wavering moon looked blood red through the lapping crimson water. Zero's eyes slid shut, seeking peace, but finding only more pain as tainted water rushed into his lungs and his body spasmed in the painful throes of suffocation and drowning, numbed only by his deep state of desanguination.

Suddenly, strong hands gripped his shoulders, tangling in his shirt and propelling him back towards the surface as the formerly peaceful water churned from the abrupt movement. Disoriented and surprised, Zero struggled weakly, but he could barely move, and his diming vision could see nothing but the swirling darkness of the water and the fractured light of the moon bouncing around him on the choppy, bloody froth of the waves as his head was jerked above the surface.

Against his will, Zero's lungs heaved desperately for air, coughing and choking. It seemed his traitorous body still wanted to live, even if _he_ didn't.

Someone was dragging him swiftly through the waves, back towards the shoreline. Zero didn't want to go and he thrashed weakly, trying to pull away. A swift, perfunctory elbow jab in the face put an end to that.

Zero was hauled out of the water and thrown down on the muddy river bank. For the first time, he got a look at his would-be rescuer. He almost laughed bitterly, except that he was still choking. Of course. He should have known.

Kaname knelt over Zero, water dripping from his hair and clothing, his pale shirt soaked and stained pinky-red with Zero's blood.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Kiriyu?" the positively livid pureblood demanded harshly. He rolled Zero onto his side, carefully pounding his back, helping the ex-human cough up the water clogging his lungs.

Zero was too weak to fight him, flopping limply as Kaname rolled him onto his back again once the hunter was breathing in weak, shaky little gasps.

"Leeme alone..." Zero slurred in a hoarse, angry whisper. Couldn't Kuran let him die in peace? Who asked him to get involved anyway? Damn pureblood was done running his life. _Done. _

The weeks of separation had been torture for Zero. He'd tried to suppress his hunger. God forgive him, he had even tried to sate it other places – yet another dark mark on the unforgivable list of sins for which he deserved to die. But even so, that forbidden, stolen blood wasn't enough for him, it didn't do for him what he'd come to expect and need. The hunter had grown unfortunately accustomed to feeding off the richest and very best. He'd become reliant on the regular, heady influx of pure vampire blood. Now, nothing else truly satisfied. Nothing but Kaname.

Zero knew he would always be dependent on Kuran if he lived, he would always crave his blood more than any other, would always be tempted to crawl to him, willing to be used in exchange for... for a fix. He was nothing but a junkie who'd sold body and soul to his dealer. It was no kind of life. Not for him, or Kaname. They'd both be so much better off with him dead.

Kaname slapped Zero across the face. Hard. Zero had obviously tampered with their bond somehow, that's why it had fallen so quiet. Because of the way it was being diluted in the water, the scent of Kiriyu's blood had not reached him until it was almost too late. Kaname had followed the smell at a run, seeing Zero floating beneath the surface from a distance. His heart had almost literally stopped beating. There was no expressing the sheer, terrified panic that staked him through in that horrible moment. Kaname was prepared to swear it had taken centuries off his life.

He'd dived into the water after Zero without even having time to take off his shirt or shoes, knowing it was a race against the clock. There was so much blood in the lake... Zero was so still and lifeless as he sank towards the bottom... Kaname couldn't feel him through their bond. He'd thought he was already dead. He thought he'd lost him. He'd... he... he was very put out! And angry! And... and trembling almost uncontrollably.

Zero reeled, nearly passing out from the blow. "Get away fromme..." he slurred, pathetically powerless to do anything to make the pureblood comply. Zero just wanted to be left alone, to give into the cold darkness creeping over him. His wrists were still bleeding sluggishly, staining his shirtsleeves.

Next thing he knew Kaname was cradling his head with unexpected gentleness, pulling Zero's face to the pureblood's neck as he knelt over him on the river bank. Kaname had pulled his collar aside and his intention was obvious. "Shut up and drink, Kiriyu..." he murmured, and Zero was sure he was imagining what sounded like the raw rasp of concern in the other vampire's voice. Zero had lost too much, he was dying from blood loss – but if he drank, he would live.

Zero twisted his face away, unintentionally burying it against Kaname's shoulder as he stubbornly refused to do as commanded. He didn't _want_ to live, didn't Kaname get that? Idiot. Just how dense was he?

Zero found himself reeling from another stinging blow that knocked him back against the riverbank again, blood trickling sluggishly from the corner of his mouth. _Geez... was Kuran trying to save him or kill him?_

"You're a coward, Kiriyu!" Kaname snapped harshly, striking him again. The pureblood wasn't holding back and didn't seem to care if he beat the crap out of the ex-human. Actually, that appeared to be a plus right now. "And you're taking the coward's way out. How _dare_ you?"

Zero was just barely aware that Kaname was trembling as he shook him roughly. The pureblood raked his fingernails down his own neck, making blood ooze freely. Zero's reeling senses responded instantly, red filling his eyes, his fangs extending despite himself. The scent of Kaname's blood was too familiar, too delicious, he'd been dying for it for weeks and his drained body craved it instantly.

"How can you break your promise to Yuki this way?" Kaname demanded. _How can you do this to me? How could you leave me alone like this? You know what will happen when our bond breaks... _But those words Kaname didn't speak. He was sure Zero wouldn't care. Zero probably _wanted _to punish him. Probably wanted to see him go insane from the loss... The boy hated him now, and with good reason. It was his fault Yuki was dead. He wasn't there for her. He'd kept Zero from being there for her. Then he'd tried so hard to save her... and he'd only killed her faster. He'd promised her parents he'd never hurt her, he'd promised Cross he'd take care of her and Zero. In so many ways... he'd broken every promise he'd ever made and he would never be able to forgive himself for that. No one could ever loathe him as much as he loathed himself. Zero was right to hate him, but not to throw his own life away.

"How can you just give up and die, when somewhere out there, her killer still lives and breathes, her death un-avenged?" the seething pureblood threw the words at Zero like well-aimed daggers, punching the hunter a few more times for good measure as if trying to pound sense into him or perhaps simply because the pureblood needed very much to hit _something_. "Did you love her so very little?"

Zero, on his back on the muddy riverbank, head spinning from blood loss and the pounding he was receiving from the irate pureblood, realized with a small shock that as he gazed up into Kaname's stormy eyes... he could see in their raw, aching depths that the other vampire actually wanted to give up just as much as he did. But Kuran had spent a lifetime denying his own deepest desires and his will was as strong as his heartbreak and despair. He would not give up, would not die, would not rest, until he'd feasted on the blood and flesh and ripped the innards out of whoever had shattered his life and torn out his heart by taking Yuki away... and destroying whatever chance there had been between him and Zero. He could live for vengeance alone, if that was all that was left to him, and he _would_ see it served. That resolve was etched clearly on every feature.

"If you're too _weak_ and too _afraid_ to live, then go ahead and die. But if you really loved her, then you'd struggle through your own pain and live to avenge her death and to honor her memory," the pureblood rasped, his voice still trembling with raw emotion, although quieter now.

Kaname yanked Zero's head back to his neck, and almost without meaning to, Zero hungrily lapped the spilt blood from the pureblood's wet throat, his fangs sinking into Kaname's flesh as he drank automatically. In his current state, and after denying himself so long, the intense, pleasing shock of Kaname's blood to his senses was a deep, dirty sense of bliss. As the blood flowed into his starved body, rejuvenating him and preserving his life, the full impact of what Kaname had just said, what Zero had just tried to do, and how incredibly, painfully empty he felt inside all started to settle in on Zero at the same time. He trembled, trying to contain the feelings tearing him apart. But he couldn't, not even though Kuran was right there. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered.

Sobs shook Zero's shoulders as he drank from Kaname's neck. Soft at first, as he struggled vainly for control, then growing harder and more gut-wrenching until he could barely breathe enough to drink, salty tears trailing hotly down his cheeks and falling upon Kaname's neck and collar, his hands twisting into the front of Kaname's wet shirt because it happened to be right there and he had to hold onto _something_. He felt like he was coming apart at the seams, everything unraveling and bursting open. So what if he was falling apart in front of the pureblood? So what if he was yet again feeding his hopeless addiction to the man he'd whored himself to? Kaname already knew he owned him. Zero was so empty, so lost and numb that he couldn't even care. There was no way to hold back the raw tide of heartbreak that was tearing him apart and he sobbed the utter brokenness of his heart and his life out against the pureblood's warm neck, letting Kaname's wet hair cover his face and hide his weakness and pain. Kaname's body was warm and Zero couldn't fight the fleeting, incongruous feeling of safety. He'd found comfort in these arms once. Even if it had all been a lie, at least for a few moments, he could pretend...

Kaname cradled Zero's head against him almost fiercely, fingers tangled in the wet silver hair. He sat up on the riverbank, pulling the other with him. He wrapped the arm not cradling Zero's head around the ex-human's shaking shoulders, holding Zero protectively to his chest as the boy sobbed against his neck.

Kaname closed his eyes, breathing harshly, fighting a losing battle with his own emotions. Zero's sorrow seemed to have cracked open the tightly sealed and padlocked floodgates in his own heart. In Zero's tears... he too could cry... for perhaps the first time since Yuki died.

Kaname always had to be strong in front of everyone else, it was expected of him. He trusted his friends here – Ichijo, Aido, Kain, Ruka... but some things were just not done. No one ever saw purebloods cry. No one but Yuki and Zero had ever seen his tears, and no one could. It was his destiny and his curse. He always had to carry on no matter what he was feeling, always had to carry on after everyone and everything he loved died and was taken from him, time after time after time after time... It didn't matter how strong a pureblood heart was. His was broken to irreparable pieces and until this moment, he hadn't even been able to grieve with anyone, hadn't dared let them see him as anything but calm, controlling and aloof. The one person he could have shared with and sought comfort from, had rejected and pulled away from him since the nightmare started. Perhaps the cruelest final stroke had been that he'd not only lost Yuki, he'd lost Zero too. But at least this... this the two of them still shared. The bond of pain. Utter pain and heartbreak beyond expression.

Kaname buried his face in Zero's hair and gave into his own unforgiveable, but now unstoppable weakness. He wept with the hunter, his tears spilling silently into Zero's already dripping hair and seeming to scald his eyes with the burn of having been so long repressed and denied release.

"_Kaname... I'm worried about Zero. I'm afraid of what he'll do after I... after... I'm gone." Yuki had seen the strain that had come back between the two vampires, even if they hid the full extent of it from her, but she hoped that they could find each other again. One of the things that gave her the most peace was knowing that deep down, they loved each other. She wanted so much for them to be happy. "Please Kaname, promise me you'll look after Zero, that you won't let him give up." _

Yuki had made her request one day near the end, when they were alone. Kaname had hardly felt like breathing the same air as Zero that particular day, so deep was the hurt running between them, but there was nothing he would not have done to ease her mind and make her smile a little longer... he had promised, and he would keep that promise. For her... and... and for Zero. She'd made him promise not to grieve her too much either... but she should have known, that one he could not keep. Perhaps the rest of the world could not see the raw, gaping hole that had been ripped in his chest where his heart used to be, but it was there. He could feel it.

Kaname's shoulders shook. He shouldn't be letting go like this... and yet... the release of being able to finally express his heartbreak, especially with someone who understood this horrible ache as deeply as he did... it was hideously painful, and yet strangely cleansing at the same time, as all the pressure he hadn't realized had been building up like a smothering volcano in his chest tore loose.


	4. My Blood to your Blood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _A/N: The Evanesence song "Surrender" goes very well with this chapter and the next one that will follow. I think I shall post the lyrics on my blog. :)_

**Chapter Four: "My Blood to your Blood"**

Kaname carried Zero into the bedroom; both of them still dripping wet and trailing muddy, bloodstained lake water across the pristine carpet. Zero was shivering, his eyes reddened from crying, but his expression was tense and sullen and he was looking everywhere but at Kaname. He'd protested being carried like this viciously, but Kaname hadn't heeded him and Zero was too weak to struggle out of his arms, though he'd tried.

Zero was recovering, but his body was still under the effect of the hunter weapon he'd used on himself, leaving it weakened and still mildly in shock. He glared at the ceiling. At least the Moon Dorms were empty at this time of night and no one had seen Kaname carrying him around. Although he hardly knew why he should care at this point.

Kaname was keenly aware of Zero's heartbeat, close to his as he carried him. Unconsciously, the pureblood's heart was synching with the hunter's. So close. Zero's heart had come so close to stopping forever. It made Kaname feel like crying again just thinking about it, and _that_ made him unbearably frustrated and ashamed. He was more terrified of losing Zero than he should have been of _anything_. It wasn't just because he was bound to the boy either.

Kaname's gaze lingered a moment on Zero's set, tense features and quickly pulled away. _God he was so stupid. _Here was this big, glaring weakness in a life that could not afford to have any. He'd thought they could go back to the way things were, thought that if he ignored the fact that the hunter existed, then they could forget whatever madness had followed in the wake of their bonding and pretend they'd never been anything but casual enemies who had needed each other to survive once, and who happened to have loved and lost the same girl. Zero certainly seemed to be able to do that, seemed to be able to coldly turn off and forget everything they had shared. But for Kaname... tonight had clearly shown him otherwise. Zero had so much damn power over him it was frightening and Kaname's sensibilities reeled back sharply in alarm from having been forced to realize just _how_ much.

Kaname carried the ex-human through the bedroom into the bathroom. Pulling aside the shower curtain, he dumped Zero unceremoniously into the empty tub.

"You're filthy," the pureblood said coolly, glancing down and assessing his own mud and blood tainted state of sogginess. Kaname started unbuttoning his shirt. He had to get Zero's blood off of him. It was wreaking havoc on his senses and his willpower. "Get washed."

Zero remained slumped in the tub where he'd been dropped. All the fight seemed to have drained out of him and he simply felt lost and crushingly lonely. Stupidly, he ached at the loss of Kaname's warmth. He'd felt better for the few, wretched, embarrassing minutes he'd spent sobbing in the other's arms. Or at least, he'd felt _something_, something other than numb, aching, lonely pain. But he was a pathetic idiot to keep trying to grasp at something that wasn't there. Kaname protected him because he _had _to protect him, like an Achilles' heel. It didn't mean anything.

Zero's gaze slid momentarily to where Kaname was stripping out of his sodden shirt and undershirt and felt his breath catch painfully at the glimpse of perfect, pale flesh beneath and the familiar pang of longing that shot instinctively through him. He quickly looked away, staring up at the ceiling again. He closed his eyes. Kaname would probably expect... _payment_... for all that blood he'd given, even though

Zero hadn't asked him to do it. But that didn't matter, he'd accepted, hadn't he? Whatever. Zero didn't care what happened now. He was deeply depressed and just didn't care anymore about anything.

Kaname tossed his soiled shirts in the hamper in the corner, pausing to glance towards Zero with attempted casualness, as if his entire attention wasn't burning and begging to be focused that direction.

Zero was still lying crumpled up in the tub, sullenly unmoving and Kaname frowned. "I said get washed. Or do you want me to do it for you?" he said in quiet, clipped tones, stepping towards the tub.

Zero resisted the urge to swallow and his cold fingers swiftly slid numbly to his shirt buttons, undoing them slowly. His eyes remained closed. He didn't want to have to look at Kaname. He couldn't even muster enough energy to be angry at being ordered about.

Zero's passivity actually unnerved Kaname a little, although he didn't want to admit it. Kaname kicked off his shoes and shed his waterlogged pants. He refused to feel awkward; it wasn't like Zero had never seen him naked before. Anyway, Zero still had his eyes shut, having barely made it all the way through his buttons yet.

Kaname wrapped a towel around his waist, more for warmth than modesty, as he was still chilled from the cold lake water. Zero was in the tub, so Kaname crossed over to the sink and turned on the tap, bending and running his head under the warm flow of water to wash the lake debris out his tangled, dripping hair.

He ran his hands down his face under the water and straightened up, throwing back his long hair and letting the warm, clean water run from it down his neck and shoulders in rivulets. He reached for another towel to blot the excess water away, rubbing his hair. Wasn't a proper wash, but it was just a temporary measure. Kaname didn't like feeling dirty.

Zero was still lying in the tub. He'd unbuttoned his shirt, but that seemed about the extent of his effort and he'd fallen still again. His heart was still beating, but his apparent continued lack of will to live was still scaring the hell out of the pureblood. Kaname pressed his face hard into the towel he was holding before pulling back and staring at it quietly, jaw set.

"What were you _thinking_, Kiriyu?" he inquired, voice soft but hard. It had to be hard to keep the telltale rasp of pain and fear away. He was fighting to keep the tremble out of it. "I'm bound to you, you know that. Did you even stop to consider that your death could very possibly kill me too?"

Kaname's shoulders stiffened as a new thought suddenly crashed in upon him, twisting like a knife in his gut and chilling his heart a few more degrees below freezing. _Oh God... he was such a fool. _

"Or was that the actually the plan?" his voice was deceptively quiet. His long fingers knotted harshly in the towel before he dropped it, hands falling to grip the edge of the sink as he leaned on the counter, staring fixedly at the porcelain bowl, his jaw so tense it felt like it would snap. _Damn... he hadn't even __**thought**__ of that. It should have been his first suspicion. It would have been with anyone else. Why did he have this stupid, unconscious trust that Zero wouldn't intentionally betray him? It was obviously unfounded. _

Kaname's hard gaze turned towards the tub. "I'm disappointed, Zero," his voice was still quiet, but cold now, and predatory. "I would have thought you'd have more hunter pride in you than that."

Kaname crossed to the tub and crouched down beside it. He reached around and grabbed the hair at the back of Zero's neck, tilting the ex-human's head back a bit and forcing the dull, grey eyes to flutter open and look at him. "Don't destroy yourself to hurt me. You want to try to kill me? Do it to my face if you dare."

Zero swallowed as he found himself staring into the dark, red-brown eyes. His current apathy kept him from really feeling afraid. What could Kaname do? Kill him? Death held no fear for him, only living did. Yet Zero's chilled body still shivered automatically at the pureblood's dark aura swirling around them. Despite himself, he gave a faint, ironic hint of a smile.

"Here I thought you were trying to talk me _out _of suicide," he mumbled. "Give me _some _credit for intelligence." Even if Kaname's death _had_ been his intention, which it _hadn't_, the idea of tackling Kaname one-on-one was just downright stupid.

It was a pale shadow of Zero's usual sarcasm, but the fact that that was actually faintly, if painfully, a little funny threw Kaname a bit. He didn't know how to respond. He was seething right now and deeply hurt... and Zero was making jokes? He hated feeling this confused and conflicted. It only ever happened with Zero, _damn him. _

Zero closed his eyes again. It hurt too much to see Kaname looking at him that way. It hurt too much to contemplate the twisted history of manipulation and shattered trust between them. He was just too tired.

"Everything isn't always about _you_," Zero murmured somewhat bitterly. He could have told Kaname he thought he'd shut the bond down enough on his end to keep him safe. He probably should have told him, but he didn't. He didn't want the pureblood to know that he actually cared. He didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that his manipulation had worked so damn well. So well that Zero, a born hunter, descendent from a strong, lengthy line of respected vampire killers, couldn't even bring himself to _want_ to hurt the vampire who had taken over his life. If his parents were alive, they would have to despise what he had become. But they weren't. They were dead. Just like everything and everyone who had ever loved him. Just like his own heart.

Kaname silently started pealing Zero out of his wet shirt. Zero tensed, but he didn't bother resisting. He sucked his breath in quietly as Kaname unzipped his pants but remained passive, almost limp as he let the pureblood strip him. Why fight for something he'd already lost?

Kaname removed Zero's clothing with swift, perfunctory brusqueness, although he wasn't unnecessarily rough. It was so... incredibly... hard... to undress the boy without letting his hands wander, without indulging the burning ache that expanded inside him at the sight of the other's toned, pale body. Damn Zero for refusing to take care of himself and making him do this... Kaname hid the tremble in his fingers as he balled the sodden clothing together and shoved it into the hamper with his own clothes, covering them all with a towel to keep the scent of blood down. Zero'd drunk a lot from him earlier; it was too easy to be hungry, and even easier to crave the closeness, the feeling of connectivity that he knew drinking Zero's blood would bring.

Zero's eyes were closed again and he was breathing shallowly, body tense as he lay vulnerably naked in the large tub, trying not to shiver from the cold. Silently, he willed Kaname to just do whatever the hell he was going to do and get it over with. He was so tired, he wanted to sleep. Wanted to sleep forever.

Zero started, eyes jerking open again when warm needles of water cascaded across his cold skin.

Kaname was kneeling beside the tub again, the nozzle of the detachable showerhead in his hand. It was the kind of shower where the nozzle was attached to a long hose that let you take it down and direct the spray as you wished. Kaname silently ran the flow of water slowly back and forth across Zero's body, washing away the faint skim of grime clinging to him from the muddy lake.

"The weapon you used will compromise your immune system. You'll catch a cold or worse if you're not careful," Kaname said quietly, as flatly as he could manage. He eased an arm under the hunter's shoulders, pulling him up to sit so he could run the water down his back. Kaname didn't know how soon Zero's vampire healing would return, it was tricky to guess with ex-humans. Especially ones who seemed bent on giving up.

Zero let his head hang forward, shuddering softly at the sensation of the warm water running down his back, and the even warmer feeling of Kaname's hand on his chest, supporting him. He ached so badly inside he could barely breathe. Why did Kaname always have to do this to him? Why did he have to act so gentle sometimes and mess with Zero's head and his heart? Zero wasn't going to fight him, he could do as he pleased... he didn't have to make Zero want him, didn't have to make him crave his affection and his touch so badly it felt like a raw poker in his chest. It was cruel.

Kaname leaned Zero back the other direction again, supporting him with an arm around his shoulders as he tipped the boy's head back and ran the water through his hair, washing the sticky tint of blood out of the silver locks. It hurt badly to see such deadened passivity from the normally fiery hunter. _Why did it all have to end up this way? Why? _

Kaname eased Zero to rest against the back of the tub once more, picking up one of the boy's arms. Zero's forearms and hands were stained with partially dried blood that had seeped from his self-inflicted wounds after Kaname had pulled him out of the water. Carefully, Kaname rubbed and washed the caked blood away. Kaname's thumb traced the dark, ugly, crisscross gashes that Zero had gouged into his own wrists. They were closed enough to not bleed now, but having been inflicted by a hunter weapon they would take time to heal completely. They might scar. Almost instinctually, Kaname pulled Zero's wrist to his mouth, licking the wounds gently to aide their healing. He closed his eyes against the burning sting pressing at the back of his eyeballs as he kissed the damaged flesh tenderly. The pain that had carved these lines... it made his heart burn. Had Zero really just wanted to end it? Or had he been that desperate to kill _him_? It was sheer stupidity, but even if Zero _had_ intended to try to kill him... it didn't matter. It still hurt him to see Zero hurting.

Kaname switched wrists, lathing the other one with the same, warm, careful attention. _Zero... hating me isn't worth this. It's not worth your life... _

Zero swallowed raggedly around the raw lump in his throat, pressing his eyes shut as Kaname's warm mouth caressed the torn skin of his wrists, the much too familiar tongue lapping and stroking the injuries until they hummed softly with contentment rather than pain. Kaname could always do that. It was the vampire way to turn pain into pleasure. Physical pain, anyway. Emotionally...

"I preformed the _solvo-confuto_ rites; I thought you'd be protected," Zero whispered softly, turning his face away, towards the wall. There. He'd said it. Kaname'd won yet again, but... he'd had to tell him. It hurt too much not to.

Kaname stilled, his mouth still pressed against the inside of Zero's left wrist. His gaze fixed slowly on Zero. So... it _was _only his own life Zero had been trying to end. Still a horribly stupid waste, but... He went back to kissing the wrist he was holding. The charm of which Zero spoke wasn't easy and it wasn't something you could just do on the spot, it took a lot of preparation. It was a vampire charm, not a hunter one, and despite himself, some small part of Kaname's mind was fleetingly impressed that Zero had managed it, although he was not at all pleased that the ex-human had obviously put so much thought into killing himself.

"Zero... those charms can temporarily deaden the bond, but they can't sever it. Centuries ago, the solvo-confuto rites were developed during one of the wars to try to protect pureblood spouses from going mad or perishing with their mates if something should happen to one of them," Kaname knew all about it because he had researched the same thing the past few weeks, trying to see if there was any way to undo what he and Zero had done. The short answer was that there wasn't. The slightly longer and more cynical answer was that they had apparently been mucking around with some very powerful natural forces without understanding the full gravity of the situation and it was now threatening to come back and bite them on the ass. "It didn't always work then, and it will never work for us." Kaname closed his eyes, head bowed over Zero's wrist.

"Our bond is too strong. The fact that I had to hold onto you, to survive losing Ichijo..." Kaname trailed off, helpless, hopeless, frustrated and aching. Once again, it his fault, although he didn't know what else he could have done. He hadn't asked for what had happened with Ichijo, damn it! He'd never intended to end up in this situation with Zero...

The truth was, the more he'd tried to learn, the more he was beginning to understand that blood bonds were not an exact science. The strength and effect of any given bond could vary significantly depending on the people involved, and other factors. From what he'd read, he was also beginning to realize that because of the circumstances leading up to it, the bond that he and Zero shared was possibly stronger, or at least a lot more deeply seated, than many. Even those formed voluntarily by lovers and married couples, which was another fine example of the cruel irony of life if there ever was one.

"I doubt I will survive the breaking of a second bond," Kaname whispered faintly. Even if he did, he had a feeling he would be irreparably changed. He would have lost too much to remain himself. Whether he would go mad, or simply lose himself to the darkness that lurked within his own soul, he didn't know. He didn't want to find out. "You probably would, if situations were reversed. Your human heritage makes you less sensitive, and you've never been fully bound to anyone else. But for me... the risk is very high." He felt so hideously vulnerable in that confession. He might as well have just handed Zero a sword and bared his heart. It bordered on stupid and suicidal to admit that in this way, he needed the hunter more than Zero needed him. But Zero had to know, ignorance was obviously dangerous for both of them.

Zero felt even more wretched, which he hadn't thought was possible. He felt so incredibly trapped, it was suffocating. If that was true... then there really was no way out for him. He couldn't even die without doing something unforgivable. "Great, guess we're both screwed then," he rasped mirthlessly.

Kaname sighed in silent agreement. He realized he'd stopped moving the showerhead and started doing so again, distractedly, although he was deeply unwilling to let go of Zero's wrist just yet. His lips slid back to it, tracing the broken flesh once more.

Zero's gaze slid slowly away from the wall, to the dark head of the pureblood who was still bent over him, studiously tending to his injured wrist. A new, numb, horrible thought had crept through him. "Kaname... now, or in a few years... it doesn't matter. If your life is truly tied to mine..." he swallowed, for the first time really grasping the full enormity of what Kaname had just said.

Pureblood vampires lived for thousands and thousands of years if nothing ill befell them. Kaname was practically immortal. He should have eternity ahead of him. Zero could look forward to the brief life expectancy of an ex-human who was only staying sane because of whose blood he was drinking. But if what Kaname said was true... then Kuran was very possibly tied to _his_ lifespan. A unicorn bound to a mayfly. It didn't matter how angry he was with Kaname, the horrible unfairness of that shocked Zero deeply.

Kaname was intentionally ignoring him, continuing to work on his wrist.

Zero snatched his arm away, sitting up a little more in the tub and looking at Kaname with conflicting emotions tracing behind his eyes. "Kaname... I'm an _ex-human vampire_. I've got the life expectancy of a Popsicle in July. You can't really mean that we're... that you're... that when I die..."

Kaname met Zero's gaze slowly. It was a truth he wasn't ready to face. He hadn't fully accepted the possible reality of it yet and he definitely didn't want to talk about it. He hated to hear Zero say things like that though; hated to hear him speak of his own life so carelessly or mentioned the possibility of his death. It made Kaname's heart bleed, and not because of what it could mean for him, but because... because... he... Kaname sucked his breath in slowly... _because he was a freaking idiot. _The pureblood gave Zero a warning glare that told him to shut up and grabbed the hunter's arm, pulling it back to his mouth.

"I'm not going to let you die," he said simply, as if that settled the whole matter.

Zero snorted softly. Oh, yeah, _there_ was a realistic attitude. "Kaname, be serious. You can't control everything, no matter what you think. I don't have much time; I've known that since I was bitten. One day I _will _die and..."

"Don't say that!" Kaname's eyes were fierce as they looked at Zero, pinning him in place with his glare. The pureblood was breathing somewhat harshly. "Don't... _ever _say that..." he commanded slowly. He couldn't lose Zero. He'd lost everyone else. Even if Zero hated him and things could never be the way they were, Kaname couldn't lose anymore, he just couldn't. God, this hurt so bad. _Don't leave me, Zero, don't you abandon me too, please... it will break me. _Kaname knew he probably wouldn't need the bond to kill him at that point. One heart could only lose so much.

Zero felt frozen in place by Kaname's gaze, a weird, unexplainable lump rising awkwardly in his throat. Suddenly the pureblood was in the tub with him, kneeling over him. He'd dropped the shower head and it dangled, rotating slightly, spraying the wall of the tub and letting hot water run down across their legs. Kaname raised his own wrist to his mouth and opened a vein with his teeth, drawing blood. He did the same to his other wrist and then crossed them, pressing the bleeding wounds together. He murmured quietly under his breath, Zero just making out snatches of the ancient words he was chanting. Zero sucked his breath in sharply, but he couldn't move. Kaname was 'holding' him still.

Kaname turned Zero's head to the side, pushing his wet hair back from the un-tattooed his neck. He held his crossed wrists up and let several drops of his blood drip down directly behind Zero's right ear.

_"Sanguis meus ad sanguinem tuum. Carnis meus ad_ _caro." _The words were soft, but intense.

Zero's mind automatically translated them. _My blood to your blood. My flesh to your flesh. _He recognized the incantation. Kaname's face was very close to him now, breath stirring Zero's hair as he dropped his crossed wrists and leaned forward, blowing lightly on the drops of blood behind Zero's ear. He used his power over air to manipulate the crimson liquid into a small, very precise shape.

_"My strength, to your strength," _Kaname whispered, still in the ancient dialect. _"Bound to you for the keeping, all that I entrust..."_

Kaname pressed his lips to Zero's skin in a firm kiss and Zero's back arched suddenly against the cool porcelain as an almost electric shock seemed to flow out of Kaname's body into his. Something like a lightning bolt surged through him, thundering through his muscles, making his heart race and his eyes water. He arched his head back against the lip of the tub, fingers scrabbling automatically against the porcelain. Then the surge was gone, although the skin behind his ear still throbbed faintly as Kaname withdrew his lips, leaving behind the small, graceful outline of a geometric rose that appeared to be tattooed on the pale skin. Kaname's symbol was the same as his mother's, the Kuran Rose.

Zero couldn't see the mark, but he could feel it. His fingers slid up to shakily trace the blood seal Kaname had placed on him. He knew that's what it was, although he'd never seen one instated before. He could feel the odd thrum of slightly discordant power that was not his own humming through him. It was a lot like when he drank Kaname's blood, only... different. More subtle but also more strange.

"Why did you do that? I'm not dying _now!_" he protested, almost upset although mostly in shock. Zero raised his other hand, automatically calling to mind the words that would release the power Kaname had stored in the seal back to the pureblood.

Kaname caught his wrists and held them. "No, leave it. You release it, and I'll just put it back on again," he said simply, stubbornly. "I told you. I won't let you die."

Kaname's hands, griping Zero's wrists, trembled slightly. Without warning his head dipped and he quietly let it sag down to rest on the hunter's chest. Kaname inhaled slowly, his and Zero's breathing automatically synching into unconscious, perfect rhythm. The pureblood was tired and drained. He'd put a lot of himself into that seal and it would take him a bit of time to recharge. There was a certain portion of his strength he'd never get back unless the seal was released, but compared to his overall level of power, it was negligible. He would grow accustomed to it and then he wouldn't even notice anymore.

The blood-seal would not give Zero indefinite life, in fact, Kaname wasn't really sure how much time it would actually buy him, this wasn't something that had been tried before in this type of situation and he knew that once again, they were floundering around in uncharted waters. But the pureblood _hoped_ it could extend Zero beyond the fatedly short realm of an unbound ex-human's lifespan. Maybe... maybe even into the realms of a noble's life expectancy. The seal would act as a balance to help maintain Zero's un-stabilized vampiric state much the same as if he'd been able to drink Shizuka's blood. Combined with a steady diet of Kaname's blood... he could hope, couldn't he?

_Providing he wasn't screwing up without even realizing it again, like he had with Yuki... _the thought slammed pain through him and the pureblood closed his eyes, shoving the hurt back down as best he could. He couldn't deal with that right now. Or ever.

His hands slipped from Zero's wrists and curled at the side of his ribs, resting against Zero and the tub. He listened to the steady sound of Zero's heartbeat under his ear. Kaname knew he was taking a gamble, but logically, it all made sense. He didn't want to overwhelm Zero's system by giving him too much all at once, but he could always renew the seal as needed if it started to deplete... He was a pureblood. He had to believe he had enough strength for both of them, for as long as they needed. His mother had done something like it and been fine. _She died, too, you know. _He pushed that thought away.

Kaname's head was a warm, comfortable weight on Zero's chest as it rose and fell somewhat shakily. Zero tipped his head back against the lip of the tub, staring up at the ceiling. The fingers of one hand slid unintentionally into Kaname's dark hair.

"Kaname... I saw what happened to Cross, because of the blood seal your mother gave him. It lengthened his life, but he was exhausted, stretched painfully thin by the end. I don't want to end up like that..." he whispered quietly, not sure why he thought Kaname would care what he wanted. Truth was Kaname didn't need him conscious or sane, did he? He just needed him _alive. _

"Cross was carrying much more power than I'm certain mother intended to give him, due to the flow-back that occurred at her death. And he was a human," Kaname replied slowly. "His body wasn't meant to deal with raw vampire energy. It's like... plugging a cord into a socket with the wrong kind of wattage... the circuitry eventually burns out. The only reason he was able to benefit from it as much as he did was because of the bit of vampire that all hunters carry in them. But Zero, you _are_ a vampire... our bodies run on the same power. What happened to him won't happen to you."

Kaname's breath was warm as it brushed Zero's damp chest when he spoke. The pureblood's hair was still wet, making it even softer than usual as it clung to the hunter's skin and to his fingers. Water beaded on the pureblood's pale, silken skin, making it glisten softly in the warm steam still rising from where the showerhead continued to bathe the tile wall and their entwined legs. The pureblood's scent was close, mingling with his own in a strangely compelling way. Zero closed his eyes and drew in a soft, shuddering breath. He was the worst kind of fool...

Kaname wasn't sure how long he stayed like that, resting against Zero, listening to his heartbeat and inhaling his scent, but eventually the warmth and the nearness seeped into his bones, a warmth he had not felt since before Yuki died. Silently, the pureblood lost his long battle with himself. He could no longer ignore the way Zero's blood pulsed in his veins, the way his breath sounded, the way he smelled, the way his beautiful, familiar body was completely naked under his own... He'd never intended to touch Zero again like this, but he couldn't stop himself as he slowly turned his head, pressing a soft kiss against the hunter's sternum. He shouldn't, he should be trying to distance himself, not bring them closer... but he couldn't. He was no longer his own master and he needed Zero too much. It'd been so long...

He placed another kiss above the last, and another above that, warm lips slowly working their way in a straight line up Zero's chest, stopping to lightly lap up the few beads of water that had accumulated in the hollow of the hunter's breastbone, tasting Zero's intoxicating flavor on every drop.

_You can't abandon me, Zero... you can't... _


	5. Take My Life in You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _A/N: Try not to want to strangle them both after this chapter. ;) Really, they're both just so screwed up inside right now that they don't know what's going on in their own heads and hearts, much less in each other's. Chapter title comes from the Evanescence song "Surrender". Another song that reminds me of this chapter too is Sarah McLachlan's "Possession". Major Yaoi lemon warnings on this chapter. :D_

**Chapter Five: "Take My Life in You"**

Sculpted lips and a hot, questing tongue found the side of Zero's neck, nibbling, but not biting as Kaname worked his way up the strong curve of muscle that led from shoulder to ear. His breath shuddered against Zero's moist skin. He couldn't tell if it was arousal or agony that was knotted in his chest, it ached so deeply – like a physical fist curled around his heart, squeezing until he thought he would die.

Zero's breath hitched as Kaname's mouth started moving across his skin with intimate familiarity. Unconsciously, his fingers tightened in the wet brown hair. His body tensed and his pulse heightened, but he offered no resistance, letting his head fall to the side slightly as Kaname worked his way up his neck with nerve-shattering sensuality. He told himself his acceptance was because it didn't matter. Kaname would just hold him down if he fought, and he was too deeply in the pureblood's debt to have a right to struggle. But the truth he didn't want to face... was that he didn't _want_ to resist. He wanted this.

He craved Kaname's touch, craved that beautiful, incredible mouth caressing his skin like this with almost the same kind of intensity that he craved blood... and after all these long weeks, he was starving for it. Starving for even the façade of affection in the absence of reality, starving for _some_ sensation other than pain in the miserable black hell that had become his existence. He couldn't live, he couldn't die... and he just wanted to forget. Heat swelled through him, unbidden but unstoppable, pounding in his veins and pooling in his groin.

Kaname could smell and feel Zero's response to what he was doing and black edged into the pureblood's eyes as his pupils dilated. Not the red of blood lust coloring his brown gaze, but the deep, aching black of a different kind of need all together. Resigning and abandoning himself to once again falling under this intoxicating spell for which he hungered, Kaname's hands slid up Zero's sides, gliding easily against the wet skin and feeling the contours of his slender ribs. The individual ribs were almost too pronounced and Kaname wondered briefly if Zero had been eating properly or taking care of himself at all these past weeks. Irrationally, he was flooded with protective feelings and desires.

He kissed and devoured Zero's neck with increasing hunger, his lips trembling ever so slightly. He paused over Zero's bite area, stopping to flick it with his tongue before he breathed on it hotly. That was all... just _breathed _on it and Zero's body flooded with sheer molten heat, zinging from his neck straight down to his gut. Arousal burned in hot, bright ribbons through his body, tingling in his thighs and shooting all the way down to his toes. Kaname kissed and licked him intently, fangs grazing ever so slightly against the wet, heated skin and Zero's body almost spasmed, his fingers knotting painfully tight in Kaname's hair, his other arm sliding around the pureblood's back and holding onto him tightly as his head swam. He groaned softly, breathlessly, all his nerves alive and alight. _What the hell...? _

The dangers of breaking them weren't the only information about blood bonds that Kaname had picked up in his recent research. He'd never really understood how Ichijo had been able to nearly incapacitate him with the sensations through their bond while barely even touching him, but he did now. Kaname

offered only pleasure through the connection though, aching to see fire in Zero's silver eyes again rather than the listless dullness that was so horribly out of place.

The pureblood's own body was throbbing in response to the pleasure he was imparting. The scent Zero was giving off and the feeling of his body, shuddering and hard beneath him, was driving Kaname deliciously crazy. He nibbled Zero's bite area slowly, the perfect flesh under his mouth unmarred despite how many times his teeth had broken that skin in the past. Yet under the surface, the history of repeated bites had stimulated the growth of extra sensitive nerve bundles which almost seemed to be tied directly to the pleasure centers in Zero's brain. Kaname knew that, because it was the same for him. Vampires didn't usually form scar tissue; especially not from biting... they just became increasingly sensitized and sensitive.

Zero arched in aching, intense pleasure and Kaname rocked down against him slowly, the wet towel between them heightening sensation until it slid away under their motions, gliding off of Kaname's hips and pooling at his knees in the water accumulating in the bottom of the tub.

Zero half-sobbed, both arms locking almost desperately around Kaname's back as he buried his face against the side of Kaname's neck. He shouldn't be doing this; it was unforgivable, it was what had started all their problems in the first place. _Stop, damn it... stop... _He didn't want to feel good. He didn't _deserve_ to feel good. It felt like a betrayal of Yuki's memory that he should ever feel this way again. But he wanted it... so badly... he was such a horrible, screwed up excuse for a person. His knees curled to hug Kaname's smooth, naked hips. The blunt, hard warmth of the pureblood's body pressed so close to him twisted an intoxicating, shameful brand of desire into his gut. He pulled that warmth closer to him. His mouth found the side of Kaname's throat, kissing him hard as he inhaled the pureblood's unique, intoxicating scent with shuddering gasps.

Kaname almost couldn't breathe as Zero, ever the quick learner, found the sensitive spot on his own neck, the boy's legs pulling him close and grinding them together unbearably. Zero didn't know what Kaname now knew about manipulating their bond, but at the moment, he didn't need to. Kaname was dying for his touch and feeling the hunter's body pressed against him like this, the sensation of those wonderful lips on his skin... defied description.

It was wrong to take pleasure in their unconscionable mistake, Kaname knew. He must be truly black and twisted inside to be able to lose himself like this in the same error that had already cost him everything. Had cost him... Yuki... The intense, agonized wrench in his chest bled into the anguished urgency of his movements as he gripped Zero's shoulder and head, fingers tangling into the silver hair as if holding on to keep from washing away. The pureblood's almost completely black eyes were full of heat, but they looked achingly lost. Because he _was_ lost, and he didn't know that he could ever find his way out of this night again. Yet his heart cried for just a taste... just a moment of feeling like this once more... just a few instants of pretending Zero didn't hate him... just a touch of warmth and passion in his self-imposed sea of isolation.

He and Zero had both been drowning silently for weeks, but no one had been able to see or reach them. Not even Kaname had been able to face it until Zero had tried to physically follow through on what they'd both already done emotionally.

Zero felt like he was going to fly apart again, his heart thudding wildly in his chest. He wanted more... he wanted to feel Kaname inside him... and he hated himself to hell and back for wanting it. His fingers dug

into the back of Kaname's shoulder blades, gripping him so tightly that his nails accidentally broke the skin and drew blood. Kaname hissed softly at the sensation, finding it pleasurable, the scratches healing almost as soon as they were formed.

Kaname shifted, one hand sliding over the curve of Zero's hip and hooking under his thigh, the other wrapping around his shoulders. He straightened, pulling Zero up with him. With much less awkwardness than their position should have dictated, Kaname leveraged himself up to his feet, keeping Zero in place against him, supporting his weight and carrying him as he got out of the tub. The inhumanly strong pureblood was holding one of the hunter's knees snug against his hip, his other arm curled around his back, and there was no way Zero could get his legs to the floor without an awkward, unbalanced struggle. Zero had to either hold on and let Kaname carry him or probably end up falling ungracefully on his backside, sprawling on the bathroom floor. The arousal hazing Zero's senses made the choice for him and he locked his legs around Kaname's waist, arms around his neck, shamefully unwilling to leave the warm, comforting heat of Kaname's body. _God... what was he doing? What was he doing? _

He kept his face buried against Kaname's neck to hide the hot, red flush of embarrassment coloring his features as the pureblood carried him into the bedroom. The water in the tub shut off as a distracted thought by Kaname twisted the knob. They were still dripping, but at least this time it was clean water falling from them to the carpet.

Kaname yanked the covers back and laid Zero down on his large, comfortable bed with a careful tenderness that belied the hard heat in his eyes. He followed Zero down, unwilling to break body contact. Part of him was still irrationally afraid that Zero would just slip away from him like mist, or would die... Kaname was mortally afraid he would destroy him like he seemed to destroy everything good that he touched.

Zero felt the cool silk sheets against his back, sticking to him and soaking up the moisture still clinging to his skin, but he didn't have time to feel cold as Kaname's body slid over him. Zero felt so guilty, so ashamed at his own desires he could barely lift his gaze to Kaname's, but he couldn't unwind his arms from around his back, holding onto him as if afraid he would suddenly pull away, leaving Zero empty and alone. This was exactly what he'd known would eventually happen if he didn't escape. His need would become stronger than his willpower and he would be lost; hadn't he thought that very thing, when he was _trying to kill himself _not even an hour ago? But it was ironically worse than he'd considered, really. Because the truth was, he _wasn't_ selling himself to Kaname for his blood, not when it came right down to it. No, he was doing it because... he _wanted_ to. He felt like his will had been so far eroded he couldn't dredge up any kind of resistance or defense. His need and desire for the pureblood was raw and bleeding. Not just the need for blood, but the need for _this. _

Kaname couldn't help pausing, fingers trailing down Zero's warm cheek. The boy was flushed from his throat to his ear tips. It was so attractive and enticing when his blood rushed that close to the surface and heat pounded off him in waves... Kaname couldn't stifle a small groan of pure desire.

His fingers trailed through Zero's wet hair, brushing it against the silky sheets. Zero's silver eyes were almost lilac in the dim light and glassy with want, but underneath was a thick, heavy layer of guilt and despair. Kaname felt himself pulled in, as if he were being sucked into Zero's core through his eyes, or as if he were looking at a reflection of everything happening inside his own heart. Mesmerized by the face staring up at him, Kaname's head glided down and he did the second thing he'd told himself he wasn't ever going to do again.

He kissed Zero, softly, lips gliding against his in warm invitation. His breath lightly brushed Zero's mouth as his lips parted, the hesitant, hurting sliver of vulnerable openness in his eyes offering Zero his damaged soul.

Zero froze when he felt Kaname's lips against his. For some reason... he hadn't expected it, although they'd certainly kissed before. But it felt wrong now... if only because he wanted so much to melt into it. But it was a last piece of surrender that he couldn't give. Kaname owned his body, his will, now even his life and his right to live or die... Zero was trying desperately not to give him his heart, too. It was a stupid, foolish attempt since part of Zero knew it was far too late. But the young hunter hurt too much. His new wounds had cut savagely into old scars that were carved far too deeply into his psyche. Kaname's harsh words to him and the broken trust between them wasn't something he could simply will to disappear, even if he had wanted to. Since childhood, he had been trained not to trust people like Kaname, had been trained to hate them... to kill them. He had seen over and over the devastating, seductive, clever cruelty of vampires. He had lost everyone he loved to it. He had suffered hell for years and become a monster himself because of it. And now he'd lost his heart and soul to it as well.

As Kaname's lips caressed his with a gentleness that Zero's whole soul wanted to reach for, he felt like his heart was breaking all over again, despite the way aroused fire was still throbbing mercilessly through his body. He couldn't do it... he just... couldn't surrender any more of himself than he was already giving. He couldn't _feel _what he felt for Kaname, _damn it_! It just... it was too confusing; it was going to tear him open and make him start sobbing again from the pain and uncertainty. He couldn't face it right now; he was already too raw and vulnerable.

Zero turned his head away, breaking the kiss without returning it, although his body remained tightly entwined around Kaname. "Please, don't..." he rasped hoarsely, his voice catching when Kaname tilted his head, following and softly trying to kiss him again. Zero screwed his eyes shut, ruthlessly refusing to give voice to the painful sob caught in his throat.

It was Kaname's turn to freeze, staring numbly at Zero's tense features and clenched eyes as the ex-human kept his head turned away from him. The stab of rejection bit deep into the vampire's vulnerable heart, a heart which could currently handle no more pain. It wasn't Kiriyu's fault. Kaname knew he had left himself wide open for that, idiot that he was. What did he expect? He knew how Zero felt... he'd just... hoped...

Kaname closed his eyes and let his face rest against the bed, chin tucked against Zero's neck. _Don't __**what **__Zero... care about you? How can I not? How heartless do you want me to be? How callus do you think I am to do this and not..._

Zero felt the change in Kaname and rocked up against the pureblood, wanting him to just forget it, wanting to just not have to think or be forced to examine feelings he couldn't deal with. He was willing to surrender everything to Kaname... if he would just not ask him for what he was currently emotionally incapable of giving. He didn't want to start a fight, he wasn't psychologically equipped for one right now, he just wasn't. There was a certain level of apathy still shrouding him, but Kaname's warmth and his nearness were the only things that seemed able to penetrate his cold world. It was wrong, but everything was wrong. The world wasn't capable of being right anymore, so why should he try to fight the flow? In a way, the same despair that had taken Zero out into the lake was taking him down this road too and he knew it. Perhaps this was just a more subtle and twisted way to try to numb the pain, at least for a while – a slower way to seek destruction.

The cold slap of pain at what he perceived as Zero's rejection of any kind of affection intermingled with their intimacy had almost managed to start putting a damper on Kaname's arousal, but Zero's body curled around his, still pushing against him, and the hot, if hesitant brush of Zero's breath against his neck kept Kaname way too engaged to cool off.

He screwed his eyes shut, face still pressed against the bed, fingers sliding down and gripping Zero's shoulders. Zero was rejecting him and encouraging him at the same time and he was so confused. He should have known better than to be looking for guidance from a boy who was as emotionally fragile and unstable as Zero was right now, but Kaname just felt so damn lost...

His hips were still moving and he let the friction of his body against Zero's engulf his senses and cover his confusion. If this was all Zero wanted from him – pleasure without responsibility and intimacy devoid of affection... then so be it. It should be what he wanted too, should it? It's why they'd started sharing blood, wasn't it? Necessity. Nothing more. He'd take what he could get... and he'd take all of it. If Zero already thought him heartless, it was an easy role to fill. It was what he was born to be... his heart had only ever been weak and stupid.

Kaname's mouth turned to Zero's shoulder, licking and nibbling as his hand slid down between their bodies to pleasure his partner, wringing hitching breaths and moans from the supple body under him. He tried to shut away his muddled emotions and just enjoy this for what it was, almost desperately sucking Zero's scent deep into his body, drinking in his taste and every hammering pulse of his heart. It was better this way. It was what they both needed. Comfort, relief, no strings attached.

As his skillful fingers slid down to prep and lubricate Zero properly, Kaname played upon his sensitive neck without mercy, sending jolt after jolt of singing pleasure through the other's body until Zero was panting for breath, his flushed body squirming in overwrought need and delight.

Zero thought he was going out of his mind, only Kaname could do this to him and his body was thrumming with so much arousal and desire that it was hard to think. That was good... thinking was bad... thinking would only condemn him for what he had become and he couldn't deal with that. He arched, mouth falling open soundlessly as Kaname's fingers found the sensitive place inside him that made his muscles both snap tense and turn to jelly at the same time.

His hands trailed feverishly across Kaname's sides and stomach, sliding down to squeeze and pleasure him until he was rewarded by the pureblood's low, breathy growl of arousal and hunger. Kaname bowed his dark head for a moment, hips rocking sharply into Zero's grip, almost unable to contain the fire racing through him under the hunger's touch. It was blissful, beautiful, and it almost literally overpowered his senses. Hard, hungry heat tore ruthlessly through the pureblood and he burned to slam into the body under him in a frenzy of absolute need. There was an old, instinctual desire to tear, to claw, to bite, to shred his partner in a mutual dark, violent passion that only pure vampires understood or could survive. It was a natural instinct that Kaname could usually contain, but with his emotions so out of whack, it was harder than usual.

Kaname caught the stroking fingers after a moment, pulling Zero's hands away from him. A wrist in either hand, he pulled Zero's arms up over his head. Entwining their fingers, palms pressed together, Kaname pinned Zero's arms in place immovably, but not roughly. Kaname's breath shuddered unevenly in his chest. _He would not hurt him. He would NOT hurt him... _

He spread Zero's thighs with his knees, pushing them vulnerably wide. Zero's breath quavered slightly. _Kaname... why do I need you so badly? What have you done to me that even now... you're all I want? _It was so wrong that his heart didn't feel full without the pureblood. But it felt so right. Kaname took him, and Zero was blessedly relieved of the need to think again, or ponder the rightness of what they were doing as Kaname moved swift and sure to where it would please them both the most.

Kaname's eyes fell shut, a soft groan of pleasure escaping him as his head fell back and he pushed in deeper. His pulse hammered and he could feel Zero's hammering back against him. His fingers tightened where they knotted with Zero's, pressing him back harder into the sheets. Kaname moaned softly – a low, soft keen that seemed to rumble up from his core. Oh God, he needed... he needed more... he needed everything.

Zero bit his lip against the initial pain of entry, his breath coming sharply as he tried to relax into it. Waiting for it to pass as he knew by now it would. But he forgot all about it when his gaze caught on Kaname. For a moment, the hunter was mesmerized by the heart-stopping expression of pleasure and passion on the vampire's smooth features as the pureblood momentarily lost himself in the exquisite sensation of his partner's body. Dark head tipped back, flushed lips lightly parted, eyes closed and breath coming rapidly as he rocked firmly deeper... Kaname could have been pulled from an artists' dream – beauty and passion incarnate. How long had it been since Zero had seen that? Not just the incredibly hot image... but... Kaname... looking happy? Zero caught himself. Why the hell did should he care? But he did. God help him, he did.

Kaname's mouth fell back to Zero's neck, lost in sensation and aroused delight. He made love to Zero slowly, with an almost painful carefulness, but he never released his arms, keeping them pinned by his head so Zero could only receive the pleasure he was given and participate as much as he was allowed. Kaname needed the control. He needed it in order to remain gentle and not get too worked up by Zero's ability to drive him absolutely insane. Kaname didn't trust himself anymore. He'd made too many mistakes. He would not risk hurting Zero after everything the ex-human had already been through tonight. He couldn't... _couldn't _let his damned nature hurt one more person that he cared about.

Zero groaned in delicious frustration as Kaname smoothly dominated him, setting the pace and playing his body to perfection. He twisted his hands, but Kaname's fingers remained firmly twined around his. It was clear that this was Kaname's dance and he was just here for the ride. He could consider the darker implications of that later; right now it just turned him on unbelievably.

Kaname hovered over him, eyes closed, head bowed, breath lightly bushing the hunter's chest, intent now only on the motion of their bodies as they rocked hypnotically together. It was unbearably erotic, but Kaname felt so far away... Zero couldn't touch him, couldn't feel him except where their bodies joined and it was making him feel strangely desperate.

Kaname kept the same, even pace, never failing to strike the right places inside Zero to send pleasure through him on each stroke, never failing to rub Zero's aching flesh with the smooth skin of his stomach, but never offering more than the steady, relentless pleasure of their joining.

"Kaname..." Zero rasped hoarsely after several long, seemingly unending minutes, when he felt like he couldn't stand it anymore. His body squirmed on the damp, silky sheets and his knees hugged Kaname's hips in pleading. Perspiration glistened brightly on his fevered body. He was so damn worked up he wanted to explode, but Kaname felt so distant, so withdrawn from the passion of their pleasure that it was just weird. Kaname had never made Zero _feel _like he was just being used before, even if that's what it had been. Honestly, Zero didn't really even feel that way now, but he still found himself craving something... deeper. They were already as deeply physically joined as two people could get, but...

Kaname's breath escaped in a steady, but intense cadence. It was undeniably incredible, just focusing on the hot, tight grip of his lover's body to the near exclusion of all else. He wanted to devour Zero, he wanted to kiss him breathless and see that indefinable emotion flitter through his pleasure-glazed eyes, which the pureblood had come to hold so dear. But that wasn't what Zero wanted, so he tried to find a middle ground where they could share pleasure without vulnerability, and it was proving pretty intoxicating in its own way. If not as fulfilling.

"Kaname... please..." Zero murmured desperately. He didn't want to come like this, but he was getting closer to the edge he couldn't deny.

Kaname's body tightened. He didn't know what Zero was asking, but he heard the faint edge in his voice and was afraid to hear him out. He couldn't stand it if Zero told him _don't _again. Zero couldn't... he couldn't expect him to come this far and not finish it. _Please, Zero, let me have this... let me have some part of you... _

"Shh..." Kaname murmured without looking up and Zero suddenly found that he was unable to speak, his vocal cords paralyzed. Shock and alarm speared through him. Kaname had never taken his voice away from him before. Hell, he hadn't even known that the pureblood _could. _

Helpless and voiceless, Zero arched against Kaname, his body throbbing and burning towards ecstasy, but his emotions a tumbled blur that he couldn't begin to comprehend. He felt an inexplicable ball of panic well up inside him. He didn't want it like this... he didn't want to be a mute, captive doll for Kaname's pleasure. Maybe the fact that he already was, was the truth he feared, but he didn't like experiencing it so blatantly clearly. He didn't want to feel that worthless and disconnected... he'd been wrong, he decided. It wasn't easier at all if Kuran didn't pretend like he cared. It just made Zero feel as cheap as he really was.

_Not like this... please, not like this... Kaname, look at me... _He begged silently, body thrashing as he fought to keep back the tide of pleasure tingling through him, threatening to surge, almost painful in its demands for release. But Kaname couldn't hear him, and the pureblood's head was still down, refusing to look at him. Zero's eyes stung. He was going to lose it... oh God, he _wanted_ to lose it...

Kaname's breath shook, his arms trembling a bit as he held Zero's hands tightly. He was a coward; he couldn't open his eyes and risk shattering his own illusions. The precious, fragile illusion that Zero wanted him as much as he wanted the hunter, that he wasn't just a monster to the ex-human. His pulse was racing as unstoppable fire began pooling in his groin and shooting sparks through his stomach.

Kaname's eyes burned. He couldn't do it like this. He knew Zero wanted nothing emotional from him, but he couldn't render this disconnect, it was killing him. With a moan of defeat, Kaname's moist eyes opened and he dropped his mouth to Zero's chest, to his neck, to his jaw, his ears... practically smothering him in intense, hungry kisses as heat began to snap tight through his body. _Zero... Zero... _

Zero started, relief flooding his burning body as Kaname's mouth assaulted him in a trembling, almost desperate wave of passion. It probably didn't mean anything, but it meant a lot to Zero. It gave him the important illusion of connectivity with his lover, of being wanted as well as desired.

Kaname kissed Zero's stinging eyes, lips caressing his lids and lashes with such incredible tenderness that Zero could offer no resistance to the stupid, intense ache expanding in his chest. He tipped over the edge, pleasure screaming through him like the blast of a super-heated furnace, hazing his mind, shredding his thoughts and pulsing with exquisite ruthlessness through his nerves as he found violent release for the intense, pent-up desires, passions and hurts swirling inside him. Kaname must have released his voice, because he was definitely screaming.

Zero's pleasure slammed into Kaname like a wall of flame, echoing in his senses and pushing him past any remaining control into the tumbling, free-falling realms of climax as well. Pleasure raced like boiling oil across his body, burning him and making him feel unbearably alive. He clung to Zero, releasing the hunter's hands and wrapping his arms around his shoulders, the two of them half rising up off the bed together as they thrust urgently against one another in a few last desperate, shuddering moves.

Kaname held Zero to him, one arm supporting them on the bed, the other curled around Zero's back. His chin rested on Zero's shoulder, the hunter's legs still curled loosely around his hips, bodies pressed together as the mind-bending rush ebbed and they panted softly, hearts and chests heaving, bodies slowly cooling and relaxing after the raw high.

Zero had one elbow on the bed, the other hand was gripping Kaname's back. He didn't want to let go and he closed his eyes as he felt Kaname's slowing breath stir his hair. Kaname was still buried in his body and neither of them was in a great hurry to separate. There was something in this moment... something eternal that neither of them was emotionally ready to put a finger on, but it was there all the same. Silent, deep and special as their slowing hearts pounded in almost exactly the same cadence and the warm afterglow of pleasure for a few moments covered their hurting hearts and raw insecurities. Two damaged souls momentarily joined to form some kind of a whole for a few, hanging heartbeats in time.

After a few minutes, Kaname eased them both back down to the bed and disentangled, dragging the covers up over them. They both needed to shower again, but neither was about to go do it. Kaname leaned up on his elbow, brushing the backs of his fingers down Zero's cheek, just once, before he settled down behind him again, an arm curling around the hunter's waist, face nuzzled lightly against the back of his neck.

"It's just physical," Kaname murmured softly after a moment, saying the words he thought Zero needed to hear in order to keep the hunter with him. And he knew now more than ever, he _needed _to keep the hunter with him. "It's like blood. It's a need we're suited to fill for one another. It doesn't have to mean anything more than that." It was supposed to be a reassurance, and Kaname tried to make it so, keeping his tone soft and business-like despite the bad taste it left in his mouth. It would be so much better that way, if they really could find that balance.

Zero nodded his understanding mutely, trying to feel nothing at the not unexpected admonishment. Of course that's all it was... he supposed he should at least feel grateful that Kaname had put it so politely. Wasn't like the pureblood needed to varnish the truth for him, the vampire could obviously take whatever he wanted. But... Kaname had never taken from him without giving back, and the little voice in the back of his head reminded him of that.

They were both hurting, and they had escaped that pain for a little while. What was so wrong with that? Zero was too tired to care anymore, at least for tonight. Plenty of time to hate himself in the morning.

Silence fell and neither of them broke it. It seemed that either too much or not enough had already been said. Where was there to go from there? Yet what they had shared in those last few moments at the end of their passion... it had been too fragilely beautiful to contemplate. Neither Kaname nor Zero could dwell on it for fear they'd start to believe it was real again. Silence was better... better than the assumed truths that hurt too much. There was enough pain in their life, something ought to be simple.

Zero closed his eyes and relaxed into Kaname's arms as they lay together. Silent, still tears traced from the corners of his eyes to the pillow. He wasn't even sure why he was crying. He could smell the salt of tears, and feared Kaname could too, but the pureblood gave no indication that he did.

Kaname sighed softly against Zero's back, breath stirring his hair. His eyes were open in the near darkness, but if he smelt the scent of salt... he assumed it was from the hot, soundless tears sliding down his own cheeks on their short track to the pillow.


	6. To Find the Things we Left Behind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _A/N: I apologize in advance for any errors in this chapter, or if it generally sucks, I kind of finished it up in a hurry and don't really have time to second-check it. Have a couple of important things to mention though. For one, eye color – for some reason I got a different impression on Shiki's and Takuma's eye colors from the manga than I do now from the anime. So in past I've said different, but I'm going to switch and go ahead and use the anime colors I guess. Also, and this is a big one – I did not write all of this chapter. Credit for the majority of the flashback scene, which is set right before the Chairman's funeral in "Crimson Door" actually goes to YenGirl, who wrote it a while ago and sent it to me and was kind enough to say I could use it in a story if I ever wanted to. I modified it quite a bit to fit this situation, but the base situation and a good portion of the writing is still hers. Hopefully I haven't mangled it too badly. ;) Thanks, luv, for letting me use it! The events in the flashback would have taken place between Chapter 29 and 30 of Crimson Door._

**Chapter Six: "To Find the Things we Left Behind"**

Kaname heard Zero's breathing even out in slumber after a while. He lay still in the dark, listening to Zero breathe. Eventually, he heard the sounds of the other vampires getting back from classes. The walls of the Moon Dorms were intentionally sound proofed to keep the vampires from driving each other crazy with their sensitive hearing, as well as to afford them privacy, but he could still hear the faint sounds of movement and the distant murmur of indistinguishable voices.

They seemed remote, somehow. Distant. He'd always felt separate from them. His blood and his lineage set him apart and no one ever let him forget it. But now he felt even more distant and cut off from the normal flow of life. Kaname closed his eyes. Foolishness. Such thoughts were nothing but foolishness. It was a disgusting waste of time to indulge in self pity. He stilled his breathing and waited for sleep to come. Vaguely, he knew that the smell of Zero's blood was all over, as was his. Others would be able to smell it, but he didn't care.

Takuma, Kain, Aido, Ruka... they would make sure the other students behaved. He knew without asking that they would cover and protect his secret. They already knew that he and Zero had been sharing blood and... more than blood, in the past. It was awkward in a way, having them know about it now that things had gone so wrong between him and the hunter. It was uncomfortable knowing there were others privy to your dirty laundry and failures, but it was his own fault that they had become involved. It had just... it had seemed right at the time. But then, everything had seemed different back then. It seemed so long ago now... so much longer than a mere year...

_It had been the morning of the day of Chairman Cross's funeral. Kaname and Zero had spent the night together, and then separated hurriedly to prepare for the coming day..._

\--------------------------------------

Zero rounded the corner and halted, hearing light footsteps coming down the corridor. After a moment, he knew who they belonged to – Takuma, Aido, Kain, and Kaname. He should have ducked back but something made his pause. A sudden irrational desire to catch sight of Kaname again perhaps...? Ridiculous – hadn't he just woken up beside him not an hour ago?

He leaned back against the wall casually, hands resting in his pockets, intending to merely watch the little party pass. But they didn't pass. When they came even with him Aido and Kain, trailing a few steps behind Kaname and Takuma, slowed and then stopped. Ahead, Kaname and Takuma caught the change and did the same, looking back.

They'd all caught the hunter's scent clearly. The nobles already smelled Zero once this morning... on Kaname, although no one had dared comment. Now... Aido had that suspicious look on his face again, as did Kain this time. It was obvious they could all smell Kaname on Zero as well. Zero felt a small jolt of something he wasn't sure how to quantify in his stomach. They'd both washed, but it didn't seem to matter. The more they were together, the more their mingled scents seemed to linger in a way that defied being expunged. _Shit. _He should have stayed clear of them all until the funeral when they would hopefully have been too distracted to notice. Surprisingly though, Zero saw an almost knowing little half smile playing around Takuma's lips.

There was an almost awkward heartbeat in time as if something ought to be said. Kaname's gaze swept over Zero and their eyes met for a very brief second. Kaname's expression was cool, closed, but his eyes were another story. _I'm sorry_… the dark gaze seemed to say. _I know_… replied the silver ones. Then the pureblood looked ahead again and continued walking as if nothing had happened, his sure, steady stride demanding no comment and no further dawdling from his companions. The nobles glanced back to their leader and followed, Takuma shooting a veiled but slightly troubled glance back at the ex-human.

Zero was unable to tear his eyes away from the long dark hair and the tall straight back as it moved away. He knew this was the way things were, so what was this strange little ache inside him? He'd known all along that what he and Kaname shared, whatever it was, was something that could never be acknowledged in front of others. What was he even _thinking_? He didn't want them to know! How totally humiliating would that be?

And yet... only a few hours ago, he'd woken up to the soft look of Kaname's eyes as the pureblood watched him sleep. Kaname should have died last week... Zero, knew, he was the one who had pulled the trigger that killed him. But it hadn't ended that way and only a few hours ago, they'd been entwined in each other's arms, giving and taking pleasure, treasuring every moment of the precious second chance that fate had afforded them, against all odds.

But now, Kaname was walking past him as if it had never happened. As if nothing had changed. Maybe nothing really had. Kaname was still the pureblood prince of vampires, and Zero was still the ex-human half-breed whom neither race would ever really trust or accept. This was how it would be for them, he realized. This was what he was letting himself in for, in caring for the pureblood. He would be a silent pariah on the outskirts of the pureblood's world, something for behind closed doors, not discussed in polite company. Despite knowing this was how it had to be, the sudden and unwelcome realization hurt, badly. Zero felt a strange, unbidden but intense stab of pain in his chest as he pushed off from the wall and tried to get himself to walk away. It wasn't what others thought of him that mattered. He'd closed himself off early from the desire to seek approval. He'd known that under the surface he was slowly becoming a monster, so what people thought of him didn't really matter that much, did it? Only the opinions of a few mattered to him. A few that he suddenly realized had somehow grown to include Kaname. It was the small, nagging idea that the pureblood was _ashamed _of him that ached. Utterly stupid, but there it was.

Zero froze, still standing by the wall and suddenly wondering if Kaname had somehow felt what he'd been thinking, because a little ways down the hall, the pureblood had abruptly stopped dead in his tracks. Only the super fast reflexes of Takuma and the others kept them from all bumping into Kaname's back and ending up in an ignominious heap on the floor.

It wasn't the echo of Zero's pain in the bond they now shared that had made Kaname stop, although he had felt it. It was the answering ache in his own heart. He had seen the understanding in Zero's eyes a moment ago, and knew quite well what the logical thing for them to do was... but it still didn't feel right. Kaname had recently been forced to confront all too clearly both how much Zero actually meant to him, and how violently brief and unexpected life could turn out to be, leaving so little time to regret things not said and chances not taken. Not long ago he'd willingly given up his life to Rido for both Yuki and Zero in the sugar refinery. He'd given up his very _soul _to see them safe and he'd do it all over again if he had to. Kaname… cared… for this boy, and on some level, Zero had to feel something for him too, even if he was unsure what. Having gone through all that they had in the past few weeks, was he actually planning on coldly snubbing Zero in public just to hide what they did in private?

Perhaps it would not be prudent for the world at large to know, but this wasn't exactly the grand assembly. Did he really have to hide so tightly from those with him now? Those he counted as friends, those he now knew he could trust with his very life? They obviously already suspected, perhaps it would be better to simply trust them with the truth. His mind supplied that logically, Aido and Kain trying to figure what was going out on their own could actually cause more problems than otherwise. His heart... was more honest and knew that he simply _wanted _to do it. Wanted to acknowledge Zero at least among friends. It was too hard, too cold to act like there was nothing between them when even now he wanted to go over there and kiss the hunter until that soft flicker of pain he could feel through their bond disappeared.

All eyes were on Kaname now as the pureblood turned back to Zero and held his gaze.

The silver eyes widened a little. _Kaname, what do you think you're doing?_ Zero felt weird, frozen, not sure if he was hoping he understood what was in those dark eyes or dreading it.

A very small smile played around Kaname's lips at the unspoken question. "Zero," he called softly and extended his hand out towards Zero, palm up.

There was the soft sound of sharply inhaled breaths from a couple of the others at the very familiar, almost soft tone of the invitation. Not command, _invitation_.

Zero's eyes widened even more. _What the hell was Kaname playing at, and in front of everyone? _Zero felt embarrassed and indignant, forgetting that a few seconds earlier he'd been hurt at Kaname for ignoring him.

The pureblood continued smiling. "Zero," he said again. _Come here_… _please, _his eyes requested. The realization that Kaname had not spoken those last words aloud was not lost on Zero. Kaname had apparently not wanted to make it sound like a command and Zero realized the pureblood was actually partially leaving it up to him to decide if he wanted the others to know about what he and Kaname shared. _That idiot_… Zero was suddenly torn between acute embarrassment, sheer anger and even astonished laughter at the devious pureblood.

Slowly, without knowing what he'd already decided, Zero found himself moving away from the wall and walking forward, slowly approaching Kaname. The others parted silently as he approached, all of them watching him closely.

Kaname's hand was still held out steadily. That hand had pleasured Zero unimaginably not very long ago, which was an unhelpful and inopportune thought just at the moment. The ex-human fought to keep the thoughts from showing on his face as he stopped about a foot away from Kaname, his eyes locked with his lover's. Slowly, hesitantly, not knowing why, he reached out and placed his own hand on Kaname's. He saw intense relief flicker in the pureblood's dark eyes as their fingers intertwined automatically.

Zero couldn't stop the bright pink flush that spread over his face, not sure if it was brought on by the fact that they were holding hands in front of the other vampires... or because of the way his heart skipped at the depth of the emotion he'd seen flicker through Kaname's gaze just now.

"Kaname… you idiot!" he breathed, his voice shaking very, very slightly, his breath hitching in his throat. He'd been fine with the others not knowing, really... it was just a stupid momentary feeling that he should have ignored. He hadn't wanted Kaname to make a big deal out of it... and yet... maybe some part of him that he didn't want to admit to _had_.

Before the pureblood could say anything, there was an annoyed snort from behind them.

"How dare you call Kaname-sama such a thing?" Aido demanded angrily, blue eyes narrowing at Zero, his anger fueled by his confusion at what he was witnessing. Kaname was _smiling _at Zero and _holding his hand. _Not only did that seem wildly wrong, it made Aido feel strangely jealous. He'd heard the presumptuous ex-human call Kaname "idiot" once before, back at the winery, but in that… chaotic… situation, with Kaname half dead at the time, it had gone unchallenged. The young noble didn't intend to let it go this time, especially not in these strange circumstances.

Zero didn't give a damn about Aido. He was too busy glaring heatedly at Kaname. "_Do you _really _want the whole damn world to know?"_ he shot back silently at the pureblood, not sure exactly what he was feeling, but thinking it was probably too late at this point anyway. _Crap, crap, crap... how had he gotten to this point? Why had he come to him? Why hadn't he just ignored Kaname and walked away? _

The small, half smile continued to play on Kaname's sculpted his lips. "Perhaps, perhaps not," he said, very softly. "But I want them to…" he added in the same soft tone, nodding towards the other three vampires who were standing virtually forgotten and ignored by the pureblood.

Then, as Zero's lips parted in surprise, Kaname deliberately bent forward and kissed him. It was only a brief kiss, and a very chaste one compared to the others they'd shared but Zero felt it all the way down to his toes. He flushed painfully deep in complete mortification, but at the same time, he couldn't look away from the dark eyes that held him mesmerized. _I'm gonna kill you after this_… he promised silently.

Kaname's lips twitched and he raised an eyebrow. _I'm looking forward to it_… Zero read his reply easily and he couldn't help the sudden hot flash of desire that burned within him. He couldn't move, he was totally frozen on the spot, not even daring to glance towards the other vampires for their reactions. He suspected that either they'd be pissed as hell with him that Kaname was showing him so much favor, or they might simply think he was Kaname's latest conquest or toy. Zero preferred the first reaction, but just at the moment, he almost didn't even care.

Kaname bent forward again, almost, but not quite touching his warm lips against Zero's. "Calm down, Zero, you're blushing like a girl…" he murmured, very inaudibly, almost silently. He felt Zero's breath against his lips as the ex-human exhaled in stunned surprise.

Kaname's gaze slid away from Zero's and focused on the highly indignant and now completely wide-eyed blonde standing frozen with his hands still on his hips. "Aido… it's because he can," the pureblood said calmly but with obvious amusement. In a way it was Aido's own fault, he routinely made it far too enjoyable for Kaname to tease him.

Takuma had to bite his lip hard to keep from grinning at the open mouthed astonishment on the young aristocrat's face. Even Kain's mouth had fallen open in shock. To be honest, he was more than a little surprised himself that Kaname had opted to let the others in on his and Zero's relationship so soon. Takuma knew that Kaname was probably still trying to figure the whole thing out himself, despite the habitual confidence he displayed in front of others. He also knew what an incredibly private person Kaname was, and wondered if the two cousins realized the level of honored trust and respect that was being placed upon them. If not... he was going to privately slap them upside the heads later and make sure they _did _understand. There was something very fragile and precious about seeing this side of Kaname in the semi-open, and Takuma would see it protected.

Kaname's gaze swept over the others, gauging their reactions, testing them silently. In some ways perhaps, this was another test for them, a soft probe. _If I don't fit your image of me, your expectations of who and what I should be, what will you do then? _But he already knew that these friends would not betray him, they had proven that repeatedly. In the long run it was going to be hard to continue keeping his and Zero's relationship a secret from everyone, especially those who knew them the best and were obviously already suspicious. Sometimes it was easier for a small, close group to keep a secret from the rest of the world than it would be for two people alone to do the same.

The pureblood placed an arm around Zero's shoulders, keeping him by his side, before he took a deep breath and spoke again. His voice was as calm and compelling as it had ever been, and even Zero, still feeling mortified and trying hard to cool down, was unwillingly spellbound.

"Zero and I share a blood bond. How it came about is unimportant, the fact is, we are bonded. You have shown me your friendship and your support, which I appreciate very much. I trust you understand the significance of what I've said, and I trust you with our secret. Knowing what you now know, I hope you will extend your friendship and protection to Kiriyu as well. This would please me very much." It wasn't a command, but it was a very strong request.

Takuma stepped forward immediately, offering silent support with one hand on Kaname's arm, his eyes radiating approval and admiration of his friend's courage in taking this step. After a moment, the Assistant Dorm Leader placed his other hand on Zero's arm. He met the startled silver gaze with an understanding one of his own.

Zero took in the silent warmth of Takuma's eyes in shocked surprise. He definitely hadn't expected any of them to react with approval, but then, Ichijo always had been an odd duck for a vampire, and that was meant in a good way. Zero turned slowly, finally risking a glance at the others.

Kain was obviously still surprised and a little flustered, but he managed a nod at the unspoken question in Kaname's eyes and gave another brief nod at Zero. Whatever he felt on the matter, he kept to himself and gave nothing away. He would, of course, respect Kaname's wishes. If he said to accept Zero, and accept what he'd just been told, then he would do so.

Aido's still shocked, but virulent glare was another matter. That was definitely more of the reaction Zero had expected, and knew he _could_ expect from most vampires if this got out.

If looks could kill Zero would be a very dead Popsicle. Aido really couldn't believe it. _HIM? _A disrespectful, ex-human _hunter _bonded to _KANAME? _The degrading indignity of it that Aido felt on Kaname's behalf was almost too much to bear. One word from the pureblood, or even the hint that he'd be permissive of it, and Aido would have torn Zero's throat out on the spot. But Kaname was being obviously protective of Kiriyu. _More _than protective, he'd bloody _kissed _him. _That _image was going to disturb Aido's sleep for quite a long time for certain. Kaname couldn't really _feel _for him, could he? It seemed impossible, and yet... there it was. Kaname wanted them to accept this, to accept Zero and _protect _him.

"Aido?" Aido became aware of Kaname's gaze resting on him, quiet, but guarded now, accurately and easily reading the raw disapproval in the blonde's eyes. Not that the pureblood had expected anything else, really. He knew how Aido was. Quick to judge, quick to anger, quick to react... but Kaname was equally certain he'd get over it given a little time, because Aido was also very good hearted and loyal.

Aido colored at having been caught being so openly displeased by something that Kaname had done and he ducked his gaze. "O-of course, Kaname-sama, as you say," he mumbled quietly. Protection, okay. He would protect the stupid ex-human if he had to, because Kaname had bid him do so. But there was no way he could force him to be friends with him. Or to forgive Zero for whatever he'd done to Kaname to make things end up this way. And Aido had thought that _Yuki _was bad... he couldn't help thinking that for someone so wonderful in almost all respects, Kaname had unimaginably lousy taste when it came to romance. What on earth did he see in people so unworthy of him? Then again, who _would _be worthy of him?

Kaname shot Zero a small, wry look, giving his eyebrow a slight quirk as if looking to see if Zero shared his amusement at Aido's reaction.

Zero shook his head, unable to staunch the small, equally wry smile playing across his lips. Kaname was really too much sometimes, he didn't know what to make of him, but his heart felt strangely warm. "Idiot," he murmured.

Kaname had told Ruka later in private. She deserved that consideration and he knew it. He was sure she'd had mixed feelings, but she'd been gracious about it, which was a relief. Later, Shiki had either figured it out or Takuma had let it slip to him. That meant that Rima eventually ended up knowing as well, and of course Seiren knew almost everything about Kaname's life without being told, although she never breathed a word to anyone. But that was as far as the spread went. The old adage was true. You couldn't keep a secret in a tight community, but if you told the whole village, then they would all carry it to their graves.

\--------------------------------------

Back in the present time, Kaname sighed softly into the stillness of the room, the sounds of the other students fading away as they settled down and he ceased to pay attention. Yes, that all seemed so very long ago. Why was it that the road of time could lead you everywhere but back to where you wanted to be?

The thought shocked him slightly. Did he really want to be back there? Hadn't he decided that his and Zero's relationship had been one huge mistake from the start after Yuki died? Yes, he had... yet here he was, cuddled up in bed next to the boy, holding him silently as if his life depended on it. Maybe they were both complete idiots.

The arm draped over the hunter's waist slid gradually up Zero's chest, hand coming to rest over his slowly beating heart. Kaname buried his face against the soft, damp hair on the back of Zero's neck, and lay there, just breathing his scent as the world faded away.

\--------------------------------------

"No."

"But..."

"No."

Shiki tugged off his uniform necktie and flopped down into the nearest easy chair in the common room, picking up a magazine and holding it up almost defensively between him and the ash-blond vampire trying to reason with him. They'd been having this discussion all the way back from class earlier and Shiki was not pleased that Takuma had picked it back up again. The younger vampire hoped that stopping in the common room, rather than continuing on to the rooms that they shared, would ward his lover off. Thus far, it wasn't working.

"How about if..."

"NO!"

"Senri..." Takuma's voice held a mix of frustration and pleading and Shiki resignedly dropped the magazine, giving up any pretense of reading.

"Takuma..." Shiki's dark blue eyes trying to convey annoyance, although they hid a faint undercurrent of uncertainty and discomfort. "It's just not a good idea. I told you, I don't bring people home with me, it's... it's not good for my Mom. She doesn't do well with strangers. You'd be bored stiff anyway, I'm sure you've got a million better places to go over the holidays."

Takuma smiled faintly, sinking down into the chair across from where Shiki was seated. "Like where?" he murmured quietly, looking away. "I wouldn't want to disturb your mother, Senri, I know how much you care about her. But I'm hardly a _stranger_. You wouldn't have to entertain me. Maybe I could help..."

Shiki winced, realizing he'd said the wrong thing. Where exactly _did_ Takuma have to go? Since his grandfather's death he had no family to speak of. His estates were still all tied up in probate for at least another month, and Kaname, with whom Takuma might otherwise have gone, had been about as distant as Pluto with all of them lately. Shiki felt like crap. Especially at the thought of being away from Ichijo for the entire upcoming holiday. But he couldn't take Takuma home with him... he... he cared about the other vampire too much. He was afraid of what Takuma would think of his mother. He loved her devotedly, but she had a way of utterly humiliating herself and him in front of others. She didn't mean to, and when people would react to her oddness badly, Shiki would be torn between his loyalty to her and his other friendships. It always ended badly. Shiki didn't want to ever have to choose between Takuma and his mother. He also didn't want Takuma to know... what his mother expected from him, when he was home with her.

"I'm sorry," Shiki said softly, his eyes saying he meant it. "Really. I just... maybe next time, huh?" His gaze pleaded for understanding and forgiveness. He didn't want to make his lover mad at him.

Takuma didn't look ready to concede the argument, but the loud thump of Ruka setting her Prada book bag down with unnecessary vigor on the nearby coffee table interrupted them. Her expression was worn from the night's events and said she was tired of listening to them argue. "Why worry about the holiday? Are you so sure any of us are coming back afterwards?" she said quietly, but there was a soft bitterness in her tone.

Kain, who had come in behind her, found cause to divert to the nearby pseudo-mini bar, pulling out a glass in order to appear busy. It had been a rough night and he knew the scent of Kaname's blood hanging over the dorm was getting to Ruka. They could all smell it clearly, and they were all trying to ignore it like the proverbial elephant in the middle of the room. Well, maybe all of them except for Takuma and Senri who had done nothing but argue ever since class got out.

All right... that wasn't quite true. They'd started arguing after class, and on the way back, then stopped and picked it back up again a few minutes ago. Between times Takuma and all of them had been distracted trying to keep the rest of the students under control when they'd gotten within smelling distance of the dorms and the entire Night Class had been set off by the scent of pure vampire blood.

_That _had not been pretty. It wasn't just that Kaname's blood roused deeply protective instincts in the other vampires and the fear that he might be hurt. It was practically a blood aphrodisiac. It smelled _that _good and set their instincts to humming. Getting everyone calmed down and swiftly escorted to their rooms before they decided that blood tablets just really weren't going to do it for them after smelling _that _had been quite a chore. Between Takuma, Kain, Aido, Shiki, Ruka and Rima though, they had managed and everyone was now tucked away safely in their rooms. One of the new girls who was not yet accustomed to blood tablets was having a really hard time though and Rima had volunteered to sit with her until they were sure she had her blood lust under control again. At least the other students had probably been so worked up by smelling Kaname that they hadn't even noticed the smell of Zero's blood.

Thank goodness for small blessings, Kain supposed wearily. It had been an all around bad night. Class had been kept late. And then it didn't help that the new prefects didn't realize some of the Day Class students had started getting up early to try and catch glimpses of the mysterious elite Night students, almost mobbing them on their way back to the dorm. Somebody was going to have to tell Headmistress Wren. Normally Kaname would have taken care of the situation by now. But Kaname... obviously had other things on his mind. Kain poured himself a glass of water and dropped several blood tablets into it. He automatically made a second for Aido and passed it to his cousin as the other vampire entered the room, tie undone and expression dark. Kain half-wished Seiren had been here tonight, but Kaname had sent her out of town on other matters for him a few days ago.

Shiki's eyebrows went up and he straightened a bit in his seat, magazine sliding from his lap to the couch as he looked towards Ruka. He latched onto the change of subject a little too readily; glad for an excuse to escape the other argument. "Why wouldn't we come back?"

Aido gave a small snort as he dropped to slouch in a chair in the corner. He downed the dissolved blood tablets and played morosely with the glass, watching ice crystals form and then melt on the tumbler between his fingers. He seemed to share Ruka's sullen mood. "Oh come on, you know Kaname's planning on leaving. He doesn't go to classes any more, he barely even speaks to anyone and he's been signing the school away to Headmistress Wren all week. He's not going to stay past the holidays." Aido's voice was despondently miserable and frustrated. He felt really bad about Yuki, he did, but... _damn _her for dying and screwing Kaname up so badly... and Kiriyu... Kiriyu wasn't helping at all. Aido ran his hand through his hair. He could smell the boy's blood, and it was disgusting that he was almost _glad _for its presence_. _

A heavy blanket of silence settled on the room in the wake of those words, the only sound the steady tick, tick, tick of the clock atop the bookshelf.

"Well I'm coming back," Ichijo said firmly after a few moments.

"Me too," Shiki agreed.

"You know Kaname would want us to continue," Kain said quietly, sipping at his drink without looking up. He didn't address anyone particular, but it was obvious he was speaking to his cousin. "It's got to be hard for him, being here with all the memories this place has to hold. I think we need to do this for him whether he's here or not."

Aido frowned and the glass he was playing with cracked when its temperature changed too swiftly. "What he _needs _is to just friggin' shag Kiriyu already and get it out of his system..." the blond muttered harshly. "I hope he did more than just bleed him tonight."

"Aido!" several voices snapped sharply in protest at his language and his disrespect. Ruka looked like she was seriously considering going over there and slapping him.

Aido threw the broken glass aside in careless disgust. He didn't care that the others were upset with him. This whole situation just sucked and he was fed up with it. "Don't tell me you're not thinking the same thing," he accused. "Don't tell me you haven't seen the guilty way Kaname _stares _at Kiriyu when he thinks nobody's looking. And that stupid 'D goes out of his way to snub him." Aido was seething... because tonight had been trying and difficult, because Kaname was hurting and withdrawing, because everything was jacked up and he couldn't do a damn thing about it.

"Don't call him that," Takuma warned, an uncharacteristically dark tone momentarily flittering through his voice. Kaname had been very clear once, about catching any of them calling Zero a 'D. "And don't judge Kiriyu so harshly until _you've_ tried walking a mile in his shoes."

It was Ruka's turn to snort softly, but she didn't comment.

Aido slumped back further in his chair, tipping his head back against the cushion. He had such a headache. The blood in the air was seriously messing with him and he wondered if he was imagining the very faint twinge he felt at the base of his neck. He'd given Kaname blood once, when he needed it, and although for the most part any effects from that seemed to have faded gradually with time, every now and again he'd get a funny twinge or an ache that he knew was on account of the pureblood.

"So, you're really telling me that none of you were relieved to smell both of them when we got back here?" Aido lifted his head enough to fix the others with a sardonic look. He didn't believe it for a minute. He was just the only one currently in a bad enough mood to say what the others were thinking.

Shiki shrugged, not quite sure why everyone was getting so worked up. "Well, it was about time," he admitted in agreement. He gave Takuma an innocent eyebrow raise when the other looked at him like he wasn't helping. "What? It _was_. They've both obviously been miserable. It's not a big deal, and it's none of our business."

Ruka actually looked like she was flushing and had made herself busy over by the bookshelf. Kain was watching her.

"You're right, it isn't any of our business," Takuma said firmly, casting a meaningful glance in Aido's direction. "And I don't think we should be talking about Kaname behind his back like this." His tone said that the topic was closed. It wasn't often that Assistant Dorm Leader pulled authority like that, but he was quite capable of putting his foot down when he had a mind to do so.

"Whatever," Aido muttered, tipping his head back again and closing his eyes. His attitude was a thin cover for what he was really feeling. Sure, the idea of Kaname and Zero together bugged him, but actually not as much as it once had. Actually... right now, he would have given a lot if things could have just gone back to the way they were. Ironic, how life could be sometimes.

\--------------------------------------

Zero slept fitfully but he stayed out the whole day, his body needing the time to mend completely. Kaname though, woke early. Lying beside the still slumbering hunter, Kaname stared up at the ceiling as the small slit of light under the windows receded, telling him he needed to get up soon. Too many mornings he'd spent like this, lying in bed for hours and trying to remember why exactly it mattered that he get up again and go through the motions of life.

This morning though he actually had some plans that felt worth making for a change. Zero may hate him, but if they could find a balance in each other's needs... even if it wasn't what he really wanted deep down, maybe they could work something out. It was a start, right? There was a small amount of relief in just knowing and accepting for sure that he _wanted _to try to work something out. He still felt guilty, like this was some kind of betrayal to Yuki's memory, and how grievously he'd failed her, but the fact was he couldn't go on living the way things were, that was obvious. Something somewhere had to give. Quietly, he slipped out of bed.

Zero woke alone to the sound of the shower running in the other room. He hugged the covers to his chest and gazed numbly into space, feeling no desire to get up, nor face the night ahead. Disgusted as he was with himself, he'd enjoyed being with Kaname last night, he'd felt a live for a few minutes. But the cold light of the next 'morning' reminded him that all the lies he was telling himself, were lies. He was fickle and false because he needed comfort more than he needed to make up for what he had done to Yuki. He didn't deserve to live, but he couldn't die. It wasn't fair.

Last time he'd woken up, Zero had known he was going to go out onto the lake that night. He hadn't expected to have to face the hurdle of getting out of bed ever again, had thought the pain would already be gone by this time. Now... he felt no desire to move. His body had healed completely already from his botched suicide attempt, but the deep depression crushing him still had a firm grip on his emotions.

Kaname saw that Zero was awake when he emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later and gave him a tentative smile and a quiet greeting. Zero didn't respond. Kaname wasn't even sure he'd heard him. The lifelessness was back in the dull grey eyes and Kaname had to look away as he tugged a shirt out of his closet and slid into it.

He knew he could force Zero to stay alive, but he couldn't force him to _live, _and that was deeply frustrating.

"Are you coming to breakfast?" Kaname asked quietly as he dressed.

No answer.

"I could have some brought up if you'd prefer."

Still no answer. Zero was still staring blankly, anywhere but at the pureblood. Kaname's voice hummed through him, like water on parched earth. He hated how much he loved the sound of it. He wasn't intentionally ignoring Kaname, he just couldn't seem to find any words to say. He wasn't hungry. Food was inconsequential. Everything felt inconsequential.

Kaname's jaw tensed and he shrugged silently into his school jacket. He still wore it around the grounds often, even if he wasn't going to classes anymore. _Patience, _he told himself. _Patience. _Zero was hurting, the boy had tried to _kill _himself, obviously, his mental state wasn't the most stable. Kaname wished he knew what to do about that, but he was no therapist.

"I'll have some saved for you, when you're ready," he said finally after a moment, buttoning his jacket and slowly turning towards the bed. He sighed quietly when Zero still offered no response. He wanted to shake Zero and drag him out of bed, but... the sight of dejected body curled up under the sheets, hugging them to his chin, tugged at his heart strings. He understood the feeling of not wanting to get up. Maybe Zero just needed at little time. But not too much time.

"I expect you to meet me at two in the gym," Kaname said, changing tact as he adjusted his tie.

Zero's eyes flickered to him ever so briefly in question.

Good. Curiosity was good. It reminded you that you were still alive. Kaname started to leave, but Zero's faint voice stopped him.

"Why?" the inquiry was soft, maybe a little puzzled. Underneath the simple question, he was asking about more than just why Kaname wanted to meet him later, he was wondering why on earth the pureblood was trying so hard to make nice with him.

Kaname missed the undercurrent, but he gave Zero a quiet, mysterious little smile. "Just meet me there. You'll see."

The pureblood slid out of the room, hoping that curiosity at least would be enough to eventually get Zero out of bed. Zero needed to find a reason to live, Kaname needed to find a reason for his days to not feel utterly meaningless. Maybe he could find a way to kill two birds with one stone...


	7. An Uncertain Path to the Future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _A/N: Thought I should mention that occasionally I use the Japanese honorifics attached to names: -san, -sama, etc. But only when it's important that they are and aren't being used. Otherwise I leave them off in favor of doing the names English style and assume that the speakers are using everything correctly. Hope that makes sense and isn't too confusing. :)_

**Chapter Seven: "An Uncertain Path to the Future"**

Zero wasn't wearing his uniform when he entered the Moon Dorm's large gymnasium area a little before three o'clock. He was wearing a long-sleeved navy blue tee and faded jeans. He wasn't a student of Cross Academy anymore; he'd already graduated, so there was nothing that said he had to be in uniform on campus. Really... he had no place on campus anymore anyway. Headmistress Wren had been considerate enough not to kick him out, and to let him keep living in his old, private room in the Sun Dorms. But he wasn't a student, wasn't a prefect... he was _nothing. _He simply had nowhere else to go. He couldn't stray too far away from Kaname, could he? From his... his blood source. And even with that aside, what kind of future did the world hold for an ex-human hunter? None. It wasn't like he could go and make something of himself. _What?_ His life meant nothing. Was worth nothing. Could go nowhere.

Zero shoved his hands into his jean pocket. His current train of thought was depressing, but he had no escape from it. It was the reality of his situation. One that he couldn't even flee via death anymore. Life sucked. It did nothing but hurt to keep on breathing. He didn't even know why he'd come here now except that it beat lying around in bed all day and feeling useless and miserable.

There were two gymnasiums on campus, the one in the main class buildings, where PE was held, and the one here in the Moon Dorms, built for the use of the vampires who lived there. Zero had a feeling they practiced something beyond normal exercise forms here, given some of the odd equipment sitting about that he didn't recognize, as well as the occasional dents, claw marks and scorch patterns on the floor and walls. Probably this was where the Night Class could exercise their powers, as well as their bodies if they so desired, which made sense why it was here in their dorms and not in the public gymnasium that was shared with the Academy's human students.

Given that Kaname had asked to meet at two... which to a vampire meant two o'clock **AM, **Zero was sure that _this_ was where Kaname had intended for them to meet, rather than the main gym, which would no doubt be closed up tight at this hour. He was proved correct when he saw the pureblood near the back of the gym. There was a large, open area covered in sparring mats back there and Kaname was standing near one edge, waiting for Zero. The hunter was intentionally more than thirty minutes late, but the pureblood had apparently waited him out.

_Great..._ So much for hoping Kaname would have given up and left already. No chance of avoiding the other vampire then. Zero wasn't sure if he was disappointed or relieved.

Hands still planted deeply in his pockets, Zero made his way towards the back of the empty gym unhurriedly, his gaze fixing on Kaname as he approached. The pureblood was dressed in a black tank-top and loose fitting black pants, which looked like the lower half of a traditional martial arts uniform, called a _Gi._ Zero hadn't seen Kaname dressed quite so casually before, but he carried the look off well, the dark exercise garb contrasting nicely with his pale skin and setting off his dark hair and eyes.

Zero's lips pinched slightly when he realized he'd been unconsciously appreciating the pureblood's form. Crap... he was such an idiot.

Kaname was standing on the sparring mfats, but his attention was focused on the opposite wall. He had one hand stretched out in front of him, fingers and wrist moving very slightly, but rapidly, as if he was swiftly arranging invisible objects in space, plucking some up and discarding others or shuffling them around. Otherwise he was standing perfectly still.

Zero raised his eyebrows, wondering momentarily if the pureblood had lost it, but as he drew up near Kaname and followed his line of vision, he felt a bit of surprise. There were a bunch of small, colored squares, circles, triangles, hexagons and other shapes hanging on a row of pegs on the opposite wall. Each of the shapes had a small, random number printed upon it in either black or white. Below the row of pegs, was a large bin containing more of the colored shapes, probably over a hundred at least. Above the pegs, an LCD screen was displaying a dizzying array of shapes, colors and numbers, flicking by with the rapidity of a countdown clock. As Zero watched, the shapes on the pegs darted back and forth, hooking and unhooking themselves seemingly of their own accord, swapping places, or dropping back down into the bin below. Every few second a new shape from the bin would dart up to one of the hooks.

At first, Zero didn't understand what he was seeing. Then he realized that Kaname was the one moving the shapes around in their precisely ordered frenzy of movement. The pureblood guided with an unseen hand as they responded to the problems being flashed on the screen above, solving complex math and sequencing equations through the manipulation of what number, color and shape was hung on each peg at any given time. It actually looked pretty interesting, albeit painfully mind-boggling. The rules appeared so complex it would probably take the hunter a little while to puzzle out what exactly they were. Zero wasn't sure if this was a game or an exercise to the pureblood, or both, but he was fascinated and impressed despite himself, and watched quietly for a moment.

Kaname was perfectly aware of Zero's presence, but he finished up the sequence he had been working on while he had bided his time, waiting for the errant hunter to show up. Ending the set, he let all the shapes fall back into the bin and remotely switched off the LCD screen. He had been playing mostly for distraction purposes; he hadn't been doing one of the hard levels so he wasn't tired.

"Forget your shoes, or does that somehow work better barefoot?" Zero inquired with flat sarcasm, quickly attempting to hide his interested attention as Kaname finally turned towards him. It wasn't a terribly witty barb, but the pureblood was indeed barefoot under the loose pants he was wearing.

"You're late," Kaname commented instead of dignifying that with an answer. He let his arm drop back to his side. "I was waiting for you." Kaname's gaze swept over Zero's state of dress briefly. The jeans and tee were the hunter's clothes, and Kaname had to wonder what exactly Zero had worn when he left the pureblood's rooms long enough to get him back to his own and a fresh change of clothes. "Jeans aren't good, they're too constricting for a beginner," he added.

Zero un-pocketed his hands and crossed his arms, but it was a defensive gesture as much as a defiant one, as if Zero was trying to pull into himself. "Too constricting for a beginner _what_?" he replied coolly. "You said come, I came. I didn't say I was going to do anything here," the hunter pointed out.

Kaname knew Zero was being intentionally difficult and kept a careful hold of his patience. If Zero was up to being irritating, that was a good sign, right?

"A beginner _vampire_," Kaname replied in an equally cool, if less abrasive tone. "You've got a lot to learn, admittedly, but I can teach you."

Zero almost choked on an incredulous snort. _"Excuse me?_ Hold up a minute there and let me set something straight. _Beginner _implies that someone is trying to do something. I have never _wanted_ to

be a vampire and I already know way more about them than I want to. So thanks, but no thanks..." Zero started to turn, but Kaname was suddenly in front of him, blocking his way.

The pureblood wasn't upset, but he wasn't letting Zero leave either, shifting easily to block his path again when Zero tried again to move past him. "You may think you know a lot about vampires, Zero, but almost everything you know is from a hunter's point of view. You know our strengths and weaknesses when it comes to how to kill us... but you know nothing about how to _live _as one of us."

Zero had given up trying to dodge Kaname and stood sullenly still now, eyeing the pureblood. Kaname circled him slowly, looking him up and down as if considering him, bare feet completely soundless on the tile floor.

"There are many things that those of us born as vampires know, and can do, that humans and hunters know nothing about. There are things you could do that you simply don't know how to tap into yet, things you could learn that you hold yourself back from by refusing to fully embrace yourself." Kaname paused behind Zero, his breath gently brushing the back of the hunter's neck. "Can you remember how surprised you were, when we were breaking into Ichijo's headquarters and you found out you could do a forced-jump like I can? Aren't you even a _little_ curious to find out what else you may be able to do?" he murmured. Kaname was trying to catch Zero's interest. A good portion of what destroyed ex-human vampires eventually wasn't just biology, it was also psychology. Their minds were wired as human, but their bodies wired as vampires. In the end, it created a crippling conflict of natures within them that led to insanity. But if Zero could ever learn to embrace the vampire side of himself as something other than evil...

Zero repressed the small shiver that Kaname's breath on his skin caused and kept his breathing carefully regulated. Truth was... despite himself, he _was _interested. But he was still deeply depressed and it was hard to fight through that for any reason. Plus... he didn't _want_ to want anything that Kaname tried to offer him. He didn't like being manipulated, and he knew that's what Kaname was doing. He didn't know why, or what the pureblood hoped to gain, but he knew Kaname was trying to play him in some fashion. Damn him for always being so good at it.

"What, you mean like _that_?" Zero asked with obviously skeptical incredulity as he nodded his head towards the peg-board on the wall that he'd seen Kaname working a few minutes ago. "I don't think so."

"No," Kaname conceded with a small shake of his head. "You'll never have the level of ability or control needed to perform that kind of manipulation." He gave a wry, almost-smile. "But don't feel bad, most vampires don't. That would be too complex even for a noble with abilities similar to mine, and most ex-humans have _no_ extra skills beyond those common to all vampires." Zero noted that Kaname apparently did not consider his words a breach of modesty etiquette... but then again, the term 'modest' was not usually the first thing that would come to Zero's mind when thinking of the pureblood. _Irritating, arrogant bastard_ was generally closer to the mark.

"But as I've told you before, drinking a pureblood's blood lets you inherit some portion of their power," Kaname continued. "So it's quite likely that you have some skills you could hone with the proper amount of practice. They would be useful to you in physical combat situations at least, if nothing else. But you have to figure out how to tap into them." This was the part Kaname wasn't sure how to teach. He'd started using his abilities around the same time he learned to walk, and although they were only a faint shadow then of what he could do now, the strength of his abilities having slowly grown and matured along with the rest of him, _how_ exactly he tapped into them wasn't a conscious process that he knew how to impart to someone else. It was like trying to explain how to breathe.

The pureblood paced around in front of Zero again so he could face him, and Zero was a little relieved to not have him breathing down his neck anymore. Not because it hadn't been pleasant... but rather, because it _had _been.

Zero's face was impassive, but inside he was torn. Despite himself, Kaname had effectively hooked his interest. _Were _there things he could do that he didn't realize? The whole strength, healing and speed enhancement had been a surprise to him when he'd first started stumbling across them, years ago. But he'd hated them... hated that he was different, hated the jarring physical reminders that he was a monster. A vampire. That was his problem now too. To accept what Kaname was saying... to try to coax out and harness whatever other abilities might lay dormant within him... it would only be more proof of what he was. It would be giving more power to his vampire side. And yet... what did it matter? He _was _a vampire and he couldn't ever go back... the circular swirl of confusion looped him in tight mental circles and gave the ex-human a headache.

"I've always been curious," Kaname admitted slowly, watching Zero and gauging his reactions. He wasn't sure Zero was ready to show interest in his vampire side just yet. Disappointing, but Kaname was ready to be persistent. Zero thought he had nothing to live for, Kaname thought he needed something other than his own problems to think about. Maybe Kaname did too. "Hunters have their own sorts of abilities in their own way. I've always wondered if in a case like yours, the two would mix to complement one another, given the proper training."

Kaname definitely saw a faint flicker of interest in Zero's eyes at that, but it dulled away again depressingly fast.

"Maybe. But maybe I don't feel like indulging your curiosity," Zero said flatly, looking away to hide his inner conflict. In the end he supposed, none of it mattered anyway. Even if he learned the things Kaname wanted him to... what good would it do? When and where could he use such skills? He'd been kidding himself to think that the Hunters would ever really accept him in their ranks. An ex-human hunter blood-bound to a pureblood vampire master? Right. That would never fly. Much as he tried to convince himself that the death of those hesitant dreams didn't hurt... they did. What could he _ever_ do that would matter? Zero shrugged, still hugging himself. "What difference does it make anyway?"

Kaname turned away slightly, frustrated with Zero's apathy and even more frustrated with himself for not being able to handle this more objectively or effectively. He wantedto be able to engage Zero in something to keep his mind off all the reasons he had to give up, but it seemed the only thing Zero still put any effort into was trying to spite the pureblood. Inwardly, that thought touched off a faint, sardonic amusement in Kaname. _Well... whatever worked. _

Kaname stepped back onto the practice mats. "Take off your shoes," he said to Zero as he turned back to face him again.

Zero seemed a little thrown by the sudden shift in conversation and looked at Kaname, nonplussed but irritated at being ordered around. "No," he said simply, a bit incredulously, not getting what Kaname intended.

Kaname shrugged, pushing the long strands of loose hair away from his face and tucking them back behind his ears. "Suit yourself. You'll never touch me anyway, so I suppose it doesn't matter." There was definite, almost intentional arrogance in the words this time.

Zero was about to say he'd had enough and walk away, when suddenly he found himself flying forwards, knocked off his feet and sent sprawling hard onto the sparring mats. The cushions absorbed his fall and it didn't really hurt, but he sprang quickly back to his feet, twirling around to glare at Kaname. He'd felt the pureblood use his powers on him before and knew exactly what had just happened.

"Hey! What the hell are-"

Before Zero could finish, Kaname had swooped forward and preformed a graceful side-kick that caught the hunter in the chest and sent him sprawling back on the mats again.

Okay, that time it hurt. Zero's arm curled briefly around his middle as he rolled quickly back to his feet again. But despite the pain, Kaname hadn't really kicked him with enough force to do damage, not to a vampire body. This time, Zero came up in a defensive posture, arms up, feet spread and body tense as he visually tracked Kaname, eyes blazing.

"I came here to do some sparring," Kaname explained calmly. "I had _thought _maybe you could use the exercise and release as well. But if you don't care, and all you want to do is be my punching dummy..." Kaname was fluidly in motion again, striking out in a blazingly quick series of jabs aimed at Zero's head and chest. Zero blocked and side-stepped but Kaname easily got inside his defenses with another telekinetic shove and sent Zero sprawling back on his butt again.

"That's fine by me too." Kaname gave Zero a cool, taunting smile as he stood over him, looking relaxed, unguarded and provocatively full of himself.

Jaw clenched in silent fury, Zero lunged up, striking out at Kaname in a forceful, skilled flurry of swings and jabs designed to drive him backwards. Zero was not a novice at settling disagreements with his fists. He had trained diligently as a child, and although for a time he had let his formal fighting training lapse, he'd picked it up again when he'd entered junior high as an alternative to PE and a good way to be able to legitimately vent some of his pent up aggression and anger at the world without getting detention for it. Zero had learned quickly to hold back when sparring with other humans, because he naturally had an unfair advantage. With Kaname he held back nothing, going after him with the full brunt of his vampire speed and strength.

Zero knew better than to assume that Kaname's relaxed stance meant he was actually vulnerable and he was right. Kaname blocked his attack swiftly and easily, catching Zero's jabs with his forearms and knocking them aside without even looking like he was trying. Zero pressed forward, hooking a heel behind Kaname's ankle and jerking forward at the same time he aimed a cross-punch at his face. Kaname ducked the punch, but didn't fight Zero taking his feet out from under him. Instead he rolled with it, going down on his back only to execute a complete flip over and back to his feet in one fluid motion.

Zero followed without breaking stride, delivering a back-kick that Kaname dodged and another swift series of blows that the pureblood again blocked. The ex-human kept his feet and his fists moving, frustrated as hell with his inability to land contact on the smirking brunette, but going after his opponent with an unparalleled intensity anyway. "I am not your punching bag!" Zero growled softly as he lashed out with another kick that caught only air.

Kaname smiled, and although it was still taunting, it was also genuine. Zero was pretty good. True, Kaname was mostly defending, not making any concerted effort to strike back, but the hunter was making him work more than he'd expected in order to keep any of the other boy's blows from landing. He was probably going to make Kaname break a sweat, and that wasn't a small thing.

"No...? You're not making a very convincing case for that..." the pureblood goaded. Kaname gave a quick cross-cut which Zero managed to deflect. The pureblood followed it up with a swift jab to the shoulder which Zero also blocked, but the force of the _other _energy accompanying the blow slammed into Zero's shoulder even though he'd checked Kaname's hand, and the hunter spun sideways, just keeping his balance. He turned the spin to his advantage with a growl; lashing out low with his other foot and making Kaname have to jump to avoid having his feet taken out again.

Zero aimed a side-kick at the pureblood's middle, but Kaname caught Zero's foot and twisted, sending Zero tumbling off balance and flipping him back to the mat.

Zero's hair clung to the perspiration slicking his brow as he yet again rolled swiftly back to his feet. He'd taken a few good hits now, but he was seething and far too engaged to notice anything but his very intense desire to wipe the smugness off of Kaname's face. Logic told him that wasn't going to be possible. Anger and adrenaline told him that logic could go to hell.

"You keep hiding behind your freak powers and I'm going to think you're afraid to fight me man to man..." Zero turned the taunting tables this time, his furious voice just slightly roughened from the increased pace of his breathing.

Kaname knew exactly what he was doing and raised an eyebrow dryly as they circled each other slowly. "We'd need two men for that, wouldn't we?" his tone was condescending. Kaname was pleased when Zero didn't take the bait and attack in hasty anger, although he saw the hunter's jaw compress a little tighter as he continued circling, looking for an opening.

"Yeah, that's true... sorry, didn't mean to hurt your feelings," Zero snarked, turning the barb around. He lunged and there was a swift, rapid exchange of blocked blows and kicks before Kaname deliberately downed Zero with another 'air' punch to the solar plexus.

Zero had some trouble breathing when he came up this time, dragging himself back to his feet a little slower. He glared coldly at Kaname, resisting the aching urge to rub his sore ribs as he watched the pureblood warily. "Guess it shouldn't really surprise me that you don't know _how _to fight fair," he muttered.

Kaname gave a small shrug. "You think it's not fair for me to use everything that nature has given me? Speaking of fair, you're still wearing your shoes." The pureblood mock-rubbed his arm where he'd deflected one of Zero's kicks. True, it didn't even smart anymore, but if he'd been anybody other than a vampire, the hard-soled shoe would have left a serious bruise.

Never taking his eyes off Kaname, Zero wordlessly slid off his shoes and kicked them aside. Apathy was definitely a thing of the past, Zero was far too worked up and engaged to feel depressed now, and the endorphins and adrenaline pumping through him felt good. He needed this. He _needed _to be able to lash out against life, against the horrible unfairness of everything that had happened and everything that had been taken from him. Kaname was a handy target... and... a safe one.

Kaname inclined his head slightly. "All right, I tell you what. I _won't _use my powers anymore. But you can use any that you care to, if you can find them." The pureblood laid down the rules with an open invitation and challenge. He didn't expect Zero to find any such application today, but Kaname intended to begin sparring with Zero more regularly, trusting that the boy's stubborn nature would naturally force him to start looking for ways to gain an edge on Kaname's admittedly unfair advantage in speed, strength and skill. Kaname was sure that Zero would become tired of getting his ass kicked fairly quickly and rise to the challenge.

Anger could be a powerful motivator. Zero had relied on it a lot in the past, and it would help now. Even though it inwardly cut Kaname to know that loathing him was the only motivation strong enough to pull Zero out of his apathetic slump, he would use it as needed to accomplish his goals. It didn't matter. Zero would never forgive him for what had happened. It was just a fact and it was perfectly reasonable, considering Kaname would never forgive himself either. It was the way things were, the pureblood needed to deal with that and move on.

Kaname spun and kicked out at Zero. Zero deflected quickly, but Kaname twisted easily in the air and kicked out with the other foot, catching Zero in the chin before he landed back on his feet. He didn't need his powers to be incredibly quick and agile.

Blood trickled from the corner of Zero's mouth as he turned his stumble into a quick-sidestep. Kaname's eyes dilated as the scent of blood hit him. He'd not drunk real blood... _Zero's _blood in a long time. Anyone's blood but Zero's would not have been so appealing, but as it was, he couldn't help the intense thread of yearning that tugged through him.

Zero caught the subtle shift in the pureblood's eyes and moved swiftly to take advantage of the small, momentary distraction, lashing out with a kick that forced Kaname to dodge forward where the hunter met him with a swift, open palmed face-jab. Kaname threw his arms up and twisted not quite in time. Zero didn't catch him in the face, but landed a glancing blow to his cheekbone.

Kaname caught Zero's arm before he could pull back and twisted it around, yanking Zero into him. He'd been sloppy, letting Zero get inside his defenses like that. The boy shouldn't have been able to touch him in a fight, but Zero was good. That pleased the pureblood, even as it fueled his competitive streak.

Zero winced and sucked a sharp breath in as his arm was twisted up behind him and he was jerked back against the pureblood's chest, Kaname's other arm snaking around his neck in a headlock. He knew the pureblood was pulling him into a pin move that would signal the end of the match, in the pureblood's favor, if Zero couldn't escape.

Zero lashed backward hard with his free elbow, but Kaname just twisted his body sideways, arm tightening around Zero's throat hard enough to make him see stars.

"Give?" Kaname purred in his ear, breath intentionally brushing his skin warmly. He was seeking the concession that would end their match, but Zero wasn't ready to give it. The shiver chasing down his spine at Kaname's nearness gave him a different idea.

Zero stopped trying to pull away and leaned back against Kaname's body, rubbing against him as he let his head fall back onto Kaname's shoulder. It gave his constricted airways a little more room and let him turn his head and very deliberately run his lips and tongue up the side of the pureblood's pale neck. "No..." he murmured, brushing Kaname with his teeth.

Kaname froze. Worked up nicely from the fight, it was all too easy to flip the switch that sent all the adrenaline pounding through his veins rushing straight to his groin as fire spiraled in his chest at the feeling of Zero's mouth on his neck, the scent of the hunter's blood still faintly in the air.

It was only a split second of deeply distracted vulnerability, but Zero was counting on the reaction and pounced on it. Slamming his elbow back hard again, this time he caught Kaname squarely in the ribs, at the same time twisting and stepping outward to uncurl the arm around his neck, foot tangling with Kaname's and jerking to try to unbalance his opponent. It worked, but Kaname wasn't letting go of him so easy.

Kaname's breath escaped him in a rush when Zero's elbow hammered him, but he regained himself enough to keep a stubborn hold on the hunter as Zero took his feet out from under him, pulling the ex-human with him as they both crashed to the floor. The two vampires rolled a couple times across the mat, struggling and striking out, both seeking the advantage. Zero planted a harsh knee in Kaname's gut and Kaname caught the hunter with a hard cut across the face that set Zero's mouth to bleeding again.

The pureblood finally ended up on top, pinning Zero ruthlessly to the mat. He held Zero's wrists in one hand above his head, forearm of his other arm pressed against Zero's throat, knees pinning the hunter's hips and not giving him the opportunity to try to breach as the pureblood straddled him.

Zero bucked and struggled but eventually stilled. He wasn't getting out of this one. It had been a given that Kaname would eventually end up on top, he wasn't dumb enough to think he could best the pureblood unaided. Not _yet _anyway. But Kaname had said he'd never touch him, and Zero had nailed the stronger vampire good at least twice. He took a grim satisfaction in that, even if it burned his pride that he'd lost.

Kaname was breathing hard as he looked down at Zero, partially from the exertion and partially from the way Zero's body pressed against his when he bucked under him. His pulse was hammering in his ears. Zero had found and exploited a weakness that Kaname hadn't considered and made the pureblood actually struggle to keep the upper hand. Kaname wasn't sure if he should be proud or mad as hell. He settled for deeply aroused instead as he lowered his head, gaze sweeping Zero's attractively flushed face, lingering on the blood on his lips before locking eyes with him, brown on silver.

For what seemed the longest of times, they just stared at one another, bodies pressed together on the mats, their rapid breathing stirring the others' hair. Their breath and heartbeats were the only audible sounds in the still, empty gym. It felt as if the moment in time had become like a spider web, trapping them both in its net and binding them together.

Zero's harsh breathing was calming down, but his thudding heart was showing no signs of slowing as the pureblood's weight rested on him, body straddling him in a despicably delicious manner that made blood pound in the ex-human's head.

"Give?" the pureblood finally queried again, pressing down on the arm over Zero's throat a little while rocking his hips slowly against the trapped hunter. His voice was husky now.

Zero's breath came in a raspy shudder, his body responding automatically to the contact. It was kind of hard to think with the lack of oxygen and the distractingly arousing heat curling through him. "What if I say no?" he gasped softly around the arm cutting off his air.

Kaname's eyes flickered heatedly. "Then I'll assume you want... more..." it was almost a whisper. Despite being on top, Kaname felt like he was the one who couldn't breathe as his arm slid off of Zero's throat and his head seemed to dip of its own accord. Their faces were so close their lips almost brushed. The pureblood trembled. Slowly, he licked the blood from the corner of Zero's mouth and chin. The hunter tasted _so _good... he filled Kaname's senses like a drug.

Zero's airway was free now, but that wasn't why his chest was heaving softly as if oxygen was going out of style. Kaname's warm, soft tongue tracing the corner of his mouth and across his lower lip as making fireworks snap in his gut.

Kaname dipped closer, warm lips caressing Zero's fully as he started to kiss him. Zero turned his head away. He wasn't going to kiss Kaname again. Not now, not ever. He needed that one, small bit of control left to him. He couldn't fight his attraction to Kaname, it was obviously far too powerful, but Kaname had said it could just be physical between them. Zero could give his body without giving his heart... people did it all the time. If it felt good, what was the harm? Right at this moment, that rational made it easier for him to accept what he wanted. And want it he did... very much...

Zero trailed his lips lightly but heatedly against Kaname's jaw and down the side of his neck. His adrenaline was up from the fight, and it left him feeling too good to hate himself for this.

Kaname got the message and silently, if reluctantly accepted it. Zero was willing, but kissing was apparently still off limits and would be until the hunter decided otherwise, if he ever did. Kaname would respect Zero's wishes and not trespass there again.

Instead his mouth slid down the hunter's throat, hungrily licking and kissing the smooth skin, tasting the salt of Zero's perspiration and sucking provocatively on the bite area on the base of his neck. Zero groaned and arched against the sparring mats. Kaname wasn't holding his wrists all that tightly anymore, and he pulled one arm free, lifting it to tangle in Kaname's dark hair.

Kaname's free hand slid down Zero's side, finding the hem of the long-sleeved tee and pushing up underneath it, dragging it partway up Zero's chest as the pureblood sought a sensitive nipple to play with, pinching and caressing it to firm arousal.

Gasping softly, Zero rolled his body against Kaname, playing his fangs teasingly up and down the side of the other's neck until he was rewarded by a low, shuddering groan in Kaname's throat.

Kaname's hand slid back down Zero's stomach, lingering to trace briefly across the front of his jeans before he undid the fly and let his hand slip beneath, struggling just slightly with the stiff, tight fitting denim. He grinned heatedly. "I told you jeans were too constricting..." he murmured. His lips trailed up Zero's neck and found the blood seal behind the hunter's ear. Kaname kissed and licked it slowly and another low sound escaped Zero's lips, the hunter's eyes fluttering shut, long, dark lashes brushing his cheeks appealingly.

"Kuran-san, are you in here?" a polite, unfamiliar voice echoed across the gym, accompanied by the sound of the gymnasium door opening and shutting. There was no sound of footfalls, but the sense of another presence close at hand was suddenly quite strong.

_"Shit!"_ Kaname cursed under his breath in dark frustration and irritation as he quickly rolled off of Zero. He was not supposed to be disturbed. Almost everyone should have been at class and no one else was supposed to be using the gym until he was done with it, the others _knew_ that. But Kaname already knew that the interloper was not one of the Night Class. He probably wouldn't have bothered getting off Zero if had been one of them. Whoever had let an outsider wander around in the dorms unescorted like this was going to get it. Yes, Kaname had been quite distracted so it was partially his fault, but he truly hadn't sensed the newcomer's approach until they made themselves known, and even now he couldn't hear them moving, which meant only one thing about what they were...

Kaname rose quickly to his feet, despite knowing that it was already too late to hide what he had been doing. You could see the practice mats clearly from the gym entry and anyone with a nose could smell the heavy scent of arousal in the air.

A tall, aristocratic young man with short brown hair was standing partway between the door and the sparring mats. Despite his regal bearing, he was dressed in a tasteful pseudo-grunge ensemble which might be at home on a rock star if they suddenly acquired designer tastes. Nothing on his body had probably cost less than a small fortune. He looked at Kaname with barely veiled amusement and badly feigned surprise. "Oh, dear... I'm so sorry, Kuran-san, I was just looking for you, I didn't realize I was... interrupting."

_Like hell you didn't. _Kaname's mood was _not _improved upon seeing who it was that was standing there, although at least it explained the inconsiderate rudeness of the intrusion.

"Wait! Sato-sama, please! I must insist you wait in the parlor! You can't just-" Shiki's alarmed voice trailed off as he dashed into the gym behind the first intruder, skidding to a halt as he also caught sight of Kaname and Zero. Shiki's face paled to ashen as he took in the situation. Most of the other Night Class students were at class, with only some of them back at the dorm during break period. He'd been the only one really around to try and halt their visitor from making a self-guided tour of the dorms in search of Kaname and that hadn't worked out so well. Now... oh crap, he was _so _dead for letting this happen.

Zero struggled to his feet quickly, but a little slower than Kaname. His face flaming hotly enough to hurt, he hurriedly did his jeans back up and pushed down his shirt. He desperately wanted to run away, but the other vampires were all between him and the door and something about the one whom Shiki had called Sato made Zero not want to get too near him without being properly armed.

For lack of a better description, vampires registered something like colors in Zero's hunter senses, the hue and intensity indicating strength and purity of lineage. Beside Shiki's amber hue, Sato burned a bright yellow-white, like Shizuka had. Although still a few shades darker and less brilliant than the completely white sensory footprint that Kaname gave off, the newcomer was undoubtedly another pureblood vampire.

"Seiji," Kaname greeted the other pureblood coldly, using his first name without any honorifics to intentionally be rude and underscore his displeasure at this crude invasion of his privacy. "I hope you have a good reason for not having the common decency to wait for me to give you a proper audience."

Seiji seemed totally unruffled by the greeting, but Shiki dropped a deep bow to Kaname, hanging his head. "I'm so sorry, Kaname-sama. I told him to wait in the parlor for you to be available, but he wouldn't listen."

Kaname was angry and embarrassed by this whole situation, but he knew it wasn't really Shiki's fault. Seiji was a pureblood, what exactly was Senri supposed to have done to stop him? But before Kaname could acknowledge the apology and grant pardon, Seiji turned towards Shiki.

Much to Zero's surprise and anger, the other pureblood calmly slapped the younger vampire when the noble straightened up. He hit him hard, and Shiki stumbled back a pace, fists clenching at his sides although he kept his head bowed submissively and did not raise a hand in his own defense.

"I'd almost forgotten you touched me," Seiji said coolly, but with a disturbingly mock-pleasant tone. "You should know better than to speak and act so with a pureblood." He raised his hand to strike Shiki again. Senri tensed but remained still to accept the blow. It never fell.

Zero hadn't seen Kaname start to move, but the pureblood was suddenly standing beside Seiji, the other vampire's wrist caught firmly in Kaname's iron grip. Kaname squeezed hard enough to make sure it hurt as he locked eyes with Seiji.

Kaname's dark brown gaze was seething. "Don't you _ever _raise a hand to anyone in my syndeo again, do you understand me?" He said quietly, but lethally, his voice dangerous. "If they have erred, _I _will punish them, _not_ you."

Kaname was radiating a dark aura that was making everyone's flesh crawl. Seiji blanched, a look of anger and confusion momentarily flittering across his face before he regained his composure. In his mind he had been perfectly within his rights and Kaname was being unreasonable. It wasn't a big deal and he didn't get what Kaname's problem was. Kuran had always been a stick-in-the-mud pain in the butt. Seiji hated the fact that he had to be polite and kowtow to the other, more politically powerful pureblood's whims.

Zero, pleased to be forgotten, nevertheless wished he had his gun with him. Being near another pureblood made his gut crawl and Kaname's freezing aura wasn't helping. He wondered what a _syndeo_ was though, he'd never heard Kaname or any of the others use that term before.

Shiki was standing very still, watching Kaname with slightly wide eyes that held none of his usual sultry boredom. Kaname's aura was obviously affecting him as much as it was Zero, but there was a little bit of pride and relief in his gaze too. Kaname had stood up for him, which was an honor and meant that the pureblood probably wasn't very angry with him.

Seiji released his own aura, creating a kind of invisible bubble around himself to protect from the dark, stormy effect of Kaname's. Although now unaffected, he smiled ruefully, giving a theatrical little shiver and tugging sharply on his arm, indicating he wanted Kaname to let him go.

"You always could chill the sun, Kaname-san. I apologize if I've offered offence," he apologized insincerely, managing not to let too much of his own anger show as Kaname refused to release the painful grip he had on the other pureblood's wrist. "I meant no harm, but my flight leaves in half an hour and I needed to speak with you, I hadn't time to wait. Seriously, you act as if you were doing something to be ashamed of..." the Seiji gave Kaname a charming grin as he glanced over his shoulder towards Zero. Seiji was obviously far more delighted to have caught Kaname in a compromising moment than he was shocked at his choice of bedfellows.

Of course, that might have had something to do with the fact that Seiji had a veritable harem of his own ex-humans that he kept on hand to fulfill his every desire. It wasn't that uncommon of a practice, actually, especially for young male purebloods who had yet to settle down and marry whoever their families had agreed to betroth them to as children. There were plenty of reasons why there were infinitely more common class vampires being born than those of higher blood.

"I always thought you needed to enjoy life a little more. I'm actually glad to see you finally made yourself an ex-human. I'm just surprised that he's male, I didn't think you leaned that way, but... to each his own, right?" Seiji obviously assumed that Kaname was the one who had turned Zero, which meant he had no idea who Zero was, since most people knew about what had happened to the Kiriyu family. But that was Seiji; he never could be bothered with details. He was the second son of the wealthy Sato family and as such had no responsibilities and nothing to do but seek his own indulgent pleasures. He was a pompous playboy ass and Kaname loathed him for being such an irresponsible idiot, but Seiji wasn't particularly dangerous otherwise, for the most part at least. His older brother and mother were the ones to watch out for, but they were both many years Kaname's seniors and he'd had little call to meet with them socially. He wished he hadn't had any such call to have garnered Seiji's acquaintance either, but there were so few purebloods in the world, it was inevitable that parents and guardians would try to place the young ones of similar ages in social contact with one another. Kaname hadn't seen Seiji since before he came to Cross Academy. He wondered what the other pureblood was after.

Zero wanted to sink through the floor. He folded his arms tightly across his chest again. His face was still achingly hot and he had his gaze fixed stubbornly on the far wall. He would have protested the assumptions Seiji was making about him and what he was... except he had no right to protest them, because aside from Kaname being the one to turn him, they were true, weren't they?

Kaname was aware of Zero's wild discomfort behind him, but calmly and completely ignored Seiji's inappropriate interest in his private life. It wasn't any of Seiji's business, and fortunately, he _was _such a playboy ass he probably wasn't going to think enough about this to mention it to anyone else. Or if he did, it would be in the context of 'oh hey did you know Kuran got himself a boy toy?' – an untruth which was despicable and embarrassing to Kaname, but one which no one else would care much about, especially coming from Seiji who was not a very reliable source of gossip.

Kaname intentionally held Seiji's wrists a few heartbeats longer, squeezing almost hard enough to crack his bones, but not quite, before he released him. Seiji's smile was set, obviously hiding his pain and ire behind his pleasant mask. It wasn't unusual for purebloods to cordially hate each other, and these two were no exception.

"Well, you're here, and I'm here, so what was so important that you couldn't wait or couldn't use a telephone?" Kaname demanded calmly. He'd dropped his aura and was affecting a severely bored and disinterested countenance now.

Seiji reached into his jacket and pulled out a thick envelope with a blue logo on one corner that gave the name of a well known pharmaceutical company. "Actually, it was something I needed to give you. A gift," Seiji's tone was smug again. "My brother Diachi says that you've been showing a lot of interest in some chemical binding process... RH3... something..." Seiji waved the envelope in a vague gesture that said he thought such things were unspeakably too boring to waste brain cells on remembering.

"Sounds terribly dry and dull to me, but as you know, brother runs the family businesses, including the labs and pharmacies and all that. He found some information regarding who holds the patent to the R-whatever process and thought he'd pass it on to you, as a courtesy. I was going to be in this area on other business for a day or two, so he sent it with me to deliver."

Kaname successfully managed to mask the fact that Seiji, or rather the envelope in his hand, suddenly had his undivided attention. RH3-211 was a chemical binding agent that had been used in the pathogen that killed Yuki. It had not been used in any other medical or chemical applications as far as record searches turned up and Kaname was hoping that whoever had come up with the process might provide a lead needed to get closer to who created the pathogen. Thus far he'd hit nothing but dead ends.

Zero didn't get what was being discussed, but he could tell that Kaname was suddenly very interested, even though it probably wasn't apparent to any of the others. Zero was just glad that Seiji had shut the hell up about him and Kaname. Just because it was true that he was Kaname's... _pet_... that didn't mean he wanted the rest of the world to know. It was bad enough having so many of the vampires here at the Academy know.

Kaname resisted the urge to snatch the envelope out of Seiji's fingers and forced himself to play it calm. "I see. So of _course _you wait until thirty minutes before your flight _leaves_ to remember that you were supposed to play messenger boy," he said with more than a hint of condescension. "Your _business _here in town, did she keep you too busy to get away?"

Seiji smiled darkly. "As a matter of fact, yes. I didn't think this was very important... I hesitated to even bother you with it. And now, it seems, I have indeed caused the offence I wished to avoid. If you're not interested, I can just go..." Seiji started to tuck the envelope back into his inner pocket again.

Kaname knew he was being played, and that Seiji was just goading to try and see if he actually cared about the information or not, but Seiji could be unpredictable. While his older brother Diachi would have known better than to waft something Kaname wanted under his nose and then try to walk off with it, Kaname was not about to underestimate Seiji's stupidity, nor was he about to risk losing the information.

Kaname put out his hand quickly, fingers snagging a corner of the envelope as he halted the other pureblood. "I'll take it," he said simply, emotionlessly. But Seiji smiled because he knew he'd forced a reaction from the other.

"Of course, very well then, that _is_ why I brought it," Seiji relinquished the envelope with graciousness that didn't ring quite true. He played lazily with the gold and platinum chains around his neck. "Oh, I'm supposed to invite you to a party that my brother is throwing later on this year as well. I forget the date, I'm sure he'll send you a written invitation with the details," he added carelessly.

Kaname was sure Seiji remembered the date perfectly, but was trying to be rude and probably didn't actually want Kaname to attend. It was no secret he thought Kaname an insufferably stuffy bore. That was just fine by Kaname. He figured he'd have more fun sleeping on a bed of nails than attending one of the Satos' social gatherings. Especially since Seiji had a younger sister and Kaname would have to endure everyone predictably trying to pair them up all night. She was doubtless already betrothed to someone, but such things were always breakable if a better prospect came along. Kaname made it a point to avoid social events populated by an over abundance of single upper class vampire women whenever possible.

Kaname waved his hand dismissively, turning away from Seiji. "Tell him thank you very much. When I get the invitation I'll see if it will fit into my schedule."

Zero could read the unspoken translation as well as Seiji could:_ I'd rather eat acid, go hang yourself - preferably slowly. _Despite himself, the hunter had to stifle a small, darkly amused little smirk.

Seiji gave a little nod and turned away as well, heading for the exit. "I'll tell him. Apologies again for the interruption. I hope you enjoy your... _exercise_..." his voice was smugly suggestive as he disappeared through the doorway.


	8. Revealing a Past Imperfect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _A/N: Sorry there's so much talking in this chapter, I hope it's not too boring. I guess I kind of wanted to show that around all the misunderstandings, angst and opposing viewpoints, Kaname and Zero do have the tentative basis for friendship and a relationship beyond just sexual attraction and hormones. LOL Not so sure it worked like I wanted it to though. :P Also, I needed to get out a lot of the info about vampire history and society that's in here because it's important later in the story. Oh... speaking of, I totally made up the whole concept of syndeos and all that, although I did try to tie it into the brief little glimpses of vampire history that Ms. Hino has given us. Okay, shutting up and letting you read the story now. :)_

**Chapter Eight: "Revealing a Past Imperfect"**

Kaname watched Seiji leave, fingers curling unconsciously tight around the envelope in his hand. Not because of the other pureblood, Seiji wasn't even worth being irritated over, but because of what the envelope possibly contained. Restraining the urge to tear it open on the spot, Kaname's gaze shifted back to Shiki who was still standing beside him. The younger vampire was obviously more relaxed now that Seiji was no longer in the room, but his countenance was a bit troubled. The model's smooth cheek was still flushed faintly but visibly, the outline of a few fingers giving the discoloration an unmistakable shape. The fact that it looked likely to actually linger long enough to bruise attested to just how hard Seiji must have hit him.

Kaname was not hesitant to smack subordinates around when he deemed it necessary, but he didn't think he'd ever hit any of them that hard. Well, maybe Aido once, when he'd _really_ been asking for it. But Seiji had been way out of line in this instance and it burned Kaname that that idiot thought it was okay to go around treating those in Kaname's circle of protection in this manner. Inwardly, the pureblood was also aware that Takuma was going to take the mark on Shiki's face very much to heart when he saw it. Perhaps that bothered Kaname more than he would have been willing to admit.

"Are you all right, Senri?" Kaname asked quietly.

Shiki gave a quick nod and a careless shrug. "I'm fine, Kaname-sama. I am truly sorry that I was unable to stop him from interrupting you though," he apologized again, a hint of the troubled expression flittering more visibly behind his eyes.

Shiki never used to show much emotion around Kaname. He respected him like everyone did, of course, but he'd never been particularly awed, and always remained pretty closely in Takuma's shadow, as if his loyalty lay more with the noble than with the pureblood. But ever since Shiki's father, Kaname's uncle, had taken over Shiki's body and used it to do horrible things to Kaname, Senri had been different around the pureblood. He'd become more hesitant and unsure, as if he felt he was skating on thin ice, or had to do something to make up for what had happened despite Kaname's assurance that he did not hold the younger vampire responsible for Rido Kuran's actions.

Kaname shook his head. "Think no more about it. There wasn't anything you could have done and Seiji was out of line to accuse you of misconduct in trying to stop him when you were only looking after my interests. He should have known better." Kaname's words were diplomatic out of habit. He had been raised too well and too politically savvy to be openly derisive of another pureblood in front of someone of lesser blood, no matter how much of a blockhead he thought Seiji was.

Shiki merely inclined his head silently. Whatever he thought of Seiji, it wasn't his place to speak ill of someone like him, especially when in the presence of another pureblood.

Zero watched the two vampires silently. Was that an indirect apology for the other pureblood's behavior on Kaname's part? He couldn't be sure, but Shiki looked relieved at any rate, the troubled expression finally departing. It was a little unsettling to Zero, to witness so clearly how truly ingrained the vampire caste system was. Even nobles dared do nothing but just accept whatever a pureblood wanted to do to them. It had been kind of disturbing to see Shiki act so submissive. Zero guessed he was used to seeing them behave that way with Kaname; it was just different to see it with someone else. Or maybe it was because when Seiji looked at Shiki, it was like he was looking at a speck of dirt on his sleeve. The only time Zero had seen Kaname look at someone that way was... well... just now, with Seiji actually. Zero couldn't blame him there.

"That guy was a total moron," he muttered, quietly but bluntly, disturbing the momentary silence that had fallen and causing both vampires to look back as if suddenly remembering that he was still there.

Shiki's eyebrows shot up and it looked like he was trying very hard not to smile.

Kaname didn't bother trying to repress it, a wry grin quirking the corners of his mouth. Leave it to Zero to say what everyone was thinking, but were too well-bred to put to words. Perhaps this was part of what drew the pureblood to the other boy, actually. The hunter said what he thought, no matter how inappropriate it was. His words and actions held none of the guile or subtle manipulative twists which were so ingrained into vampire culture that they were learned practically from birth. There was something endearingly refreshing and honest about that.

"Really, you think so, do you?" Kaname said mildly, his tone more amused than reproachful. Truth was, he agreed completely.

Zero snorted softly, wiping some residual perspiration from his brow with the back of his sleeve. "Yeah, he's an even bigger jerk than you. Didn't realize they made them that size," Zero said flippantly as he stepped off the mat and crossed over to where a couple of fresh towels were sitting folded on a bench. Zero wondered if Kaname had put them there earlier in anticipation of their sparring match. Probably, it was like the pureblood to plan everything out like that and be arrogant enough to assume that Zero was going to do what he wanted. Of course... Zero _had... _but that was beside the point.

Kaname fixed Zero with a dry glare. Endearing _**and**_ irritating. _Mustn't forget irritating._

Shiki's eyes had widened as his gaze slid between the two. He wasn't like Aido, he didn't take slights to Kaname personally and figured that the pureblood could more than take care of himself, but he wasn't necessarily keen on sticking around to see how this ended either. "I think I'd better go, my next class starts soon..." he excused himself, taking the pretext to swiftly exit the gym.

Zero picked up one of the towels and pressed his face into it, ignoring the weight of Kaname's gaze. His heart was still racing and his face still overly hot from his earlier arousal and then mortification. He really didn't want the whole world to know that Kaname was doing him. It reinforced his worthless position. He stubbornly refused to dwell on the insinuative way that Seiji had acted towards him, however. Zero didn't give a crap what a dickhead like that thought and ruthlessly repressed any notions to the contrary. _He_ _would not care. _Things didn't hurt you if you didn't care about them; Zero had learned that a long time ago. It was the things you cared about that hurt you... that destroyed you...

Zero pressed his face harder into the towel and gave a rough rub as if scrubbing the thoughts away. At least he _was_ beginning to understand a little more about vampire culture and why everybody treated him the way they did when he mouthed off to Kaname. Well they would all just have to deal. He may not have a lot of choices left to him in his life, but he'd be damned if he'd ever play the perfect little vampire and try to fit into their screwed up social order. Lords and serfs went out with the Middle Ages in case none of them had noticed.

Kaname frowned slightly when Zero remained still a few moments too long and his severely side-tracked attention finally wound its way back to where they had been before Seiji's _very _inopportune interruption. The last bit of their sparring match had gotten pretty heated and Kaname wondered if he'd banged Zero up a little more than he intended.

"You okay?" he asked quietly, sliding up behind Zero and letting his hands rest lightly on Zero's shoulders.

Zero tensed and froze. Seiji's interruption had been a bucket of ice water on his earlier mood and Kaname's renewed closeness made him uncomfortable.

"Fine," Zero answered tonelessly, pulling away from Kaname on the pretext of stepping forward to pick up the other towel. He tossed it to the pureblood before proceeding to towel off his sweat-soaked hair, casually putting a few more feet of distance between them in the process.

Kaname was perfectly ready to want to try and recapture where they had been earlier, but Zero was obviously shying away from him and he was a little too distracted by the envelope burning a figurative hole in his hand to put any real effort into getting the hunter back into the mood right now. Although Zero did look particularly adorable with his hair all spiky and mussed from being toweled off while damp like that.

"What's in the envelope?" Zero asked, partially by way of distraction and partially because he was actually curious what could have gotten the kind of reaction from Kaname that he had witnessed a few minutes ago.

Kaname caught the towel with one hand and dabbed his brow before hanging it around his neck. He glanced down at the envelope still in his grip. He had no pockets in his current outfit so he simply tucked it out of sight into the waistband of his Gi. It wasn't something he wanted to share with Zero. Not... not yet. Kaname did not speak of Yuki if he could help it. He preferred to wall his memories of her away in a buried shrine in his heart somewhere where he didn't have to constantly face the hurt. Besides, reminding Zero of her death was the last thing the pureblood wanted to do when the hunter was finally starting to show a few sparks of life again. It was a pain and a burden Kaname would continue to carry alone. He had had a lot of experience.

"Possibly nothing, but possibly an important lead to a chemical formula I've been trying to track down for one of my business concerns," Kaname said smoothly. Not quite a lie, and enough of the truth presented in a manner that was calculated to make Zero's eyes glaze with disinterest.

It worked. Zero could not have cared less about Kaname's wheeling's and dealings. Actually, it was still kind of weird to him to realize that Kaname was running a sizable conglomeration of companies and business ventures from the comfortable confines of the Academy. Even though Kaname was a vampire, and technically had been born some time before Zero was even conceived, he was still roughly equivalent to only a little older than Zero in terms of his own race, and it was kind of odd to think of him as a business man rather than just a student.

"Shall we do this again tomorrow?" Kaname's quiet, carefully casual voice finally broke the unintentional silence that had settled somewhat uncomfortably between them.

Zero flipped the towel over one shoulder and turned back to Kaname. He paused, as if considering. Part of him wanted to tell Kaname to go to hell, because part of him was angry even though he scarcely knew why. But the truth was... Kaname had presented him with a challenge today that he could not walk away from. He _wanted _to be able to best the pureblood, or at least to get a damn site closer to it than he could right now. It wasn't a conscious realization, but it was unconsciously kind of nice to have some kind of goal to work towards, to have something to look forward to and something to do.

Zero shrugged. "Sure. Why not?" Wasn't like he had anything better to do.

Kaname was pleased and he gave a small, if slightly distracted smile as he shifted as if to head for the exit. He really wanted to open that letter. "Excellent. Then perhaps you should go take a shower..."

Zero wasn't quite sure if that was a jab at his odor or an attempt to get rid of him so he simply shot Kaname an unreadable look, falling into step with him as they both headed towards the gymnasium doors. He had a feeling Kaname was keeping secrets about some facet of the encounter with Seiji. He was partially curious, and mostly attempting to rub the pureblood the wrong way by sticking with him a little longer. Zero wasn't sure where this intense desire to irritate the hell out of Kaname came from, but it might have been the fact that Kaname had just wiped the mat with him. In any case, he wasn't above indulging the urge a little.

"What's a syndeo?" he inquired as they reached the doors, remembering another thing he had been curious about earlier. "You said that Shiki was part of yours, what's that mean?"

Kaname wondered in mild exasperation why Zero ran away from him whenever he tried to get close and then ironically stuck close when Kaname wanted to be alone, but his gaze shifted back to Zero at the boy's question. He was a little surprised by it and took a moment to try and figure out the best way to answer. Didn't everyone know what that meant? But no, of course, why would Zero know?

"I guess you could say it means my... group or following," he said thoughtfully, not really feeling that either word described it correctly. They passed out of the gym, making their way unhurriedly down the hall back towards the residential areas of the dorm. They passed a few other students, who must have been on break, in the common room. The other vampires respectfully stopped what they were doing to watch Kaname silently until he had passed through the room before returning to their activities. Zero thought it was a little creepy, but Kaname was apparently used to it because he didn't bat an eyelid or change his pace.

"You mean like a gang?" Zero asked once they were away from the other students. "Your _syndicate_?" he added with a slight smirk, unable to help playing with the similarity in the words. He suddenly got the oddest picture of Kaname done up mafia style like someone from a Godfather movie and quickly had to shake off the incongruous image.

Kaname raised his eyebrows, apparently getting the same mental image as Zero if the bemused and vaguely disturbed look that flittered behind his eyes was any indication. "The name is a holdover from the past, Zero, from long before anyone had thought of such things. A long time ago, before wars, out breeding and their own tendency to backstab each other dwindled my race down to near extinction, there were significantly more purebloods in the world," Kaname explained. He had unintentionally slipped into teacher mode, passing on history that he had learned as a child.

"Vampires are not peaceful beings by nature..." Kaname ignored Zero's distinctly sarcastic snort and continued speaking. "In the early days they would often fight amongst themselves, over land, over resources, and especially over their food supply."

They reached the stairs and Kaname started up them. By now it was obvious he was heading to his room, but Zero continued to follow, a bit interested in their conversation despite himself. He repressed a small shiver at the pureblood's last words, jaw setting softly. _Food supply, huh? _

"You mean humans," he said flatly as they mounted the stairs.

"Yes," Kaname replied steadily and without apology. It was a fact, he wasn't about to channel guilt for all the generations of vampires that had come before him. Everyone did what they had to to survive. Vampires had no control over what their bodies needed.

"Times were more primitive back then; your resources were limited by geography and climate. If you had too many vampires fighting over one area... it was bad for everyone involved. It was natural that the purebloods took control of things to bring about order. Each one gathered to them their relatives, followers and ex-humans, their syndeo, or their 'tribe' if you want to put it that way. They formed accepted treaties and alliances that let each syndeo live and work with the others without causing problems. All issues of resources and clan disputes were settled only by the purebloods at the top, so then there was peace."

They had reached the top of the stairs and Zero stopped, looking at Kaname with furrowed brows. It was kind of disturbing that this was all starting to make a little sense. Understanding the history actually threw a new light on the archaic vampire social structure that continued to endure even in the modern world.

"There was peace because the purebloods demanded and could exhort unquestioning obedience from those under them. Because they created a society of slaves where your worth and social status depends on the purity of your blood," the hunter said bluntly.

Kaname's brows furrowed slightly and he cocked his head a little to the side as if in thought. "You're looking at it from a human point of view," he said slowly as he started walking again. "Every society finds some measure by which to determine worth and standing. Is it so different from determining someone's status by how much money they make, how much political clout they have or what kind of car they drive?"

Unfortunately, Kaname's words were hard to deny, but Zero didn't have to like them. "That still doesn't make it right," he said quietly. They had reached Kaname's rooms and Kaname entered, holding the door for Zero and letting it shut behind him.

Kaname pulled the towel from around his neck and hung it over the back of his desk chair. "Maybe not," he said quietly. "But it is not so strange, nor as unnaturally unique as you seem to think. For centuries, Indian culture adhered to a strict caste system that lacked even a genetic rhyme or reason. It is human nature to create and impose standards and rules upon society, vampires are no different and at least we actually have something very real and tangible upon which to base our hierarchy."

Zero leaned his hips back against the graceful metal grillwork that formed the footboard of Kaname's bed. "I bet the Nazi's thought they had a tangible claim for superiority too," he pointed out. He was continuing to play devil's advocate, but he wasn't really arguing with Kaname anymore, it was more of a debate.

Kaname was actually rather enjoying it in a way. It was interesting and quite odd to try and look at these things through the lens of Zero's worldview when his own was shaped so differently. The pureblood smiled dryly and suddenly Zero found his feet leaving the ground. Kaname wasn't touching him, or hurting him, but an invisible force was holding him suspended and immobile a good three feet above the floor. Kaname watched the shock on Zero's face turn quickly to irritation before he set him carefully back down again.

"Could Hitler and his precious Aryan race do that?" the pureblood queried dryly. "Then they weren't really superior, were they? They just thought they were. There's a difference."

Zero, still feeling a little unbalanced, reached back and caught hold of the grillwork behind him with one hand. He was peeved at Kaname for pulling that on him, but didn't make an issue out of it. "So might makes right, huh?" he said a bit darkly instead.

Kaname just looked at him. "Might makes _power. _And power is what separates the ones in control, from the ones being controlled, no matter what your bloodline is. You can argue that point all you want, but those with the power for the most part aren't going to just roll over and play nice simply to conform with whatever standards you and I may hold regarding what is and isn't fair. So the whole argument is really rather pointless, wouldn't you say? Ideals are a good thing, an important thing, but if you can't beat the ones with power at their own game, then it doesn't matter how lofty your goals, you will lose and you will accomplish nothing."

Zero watched Kaname with a silent, thoughtful expression. This conversation was turning out a lot deeper and more revealing than he had expected and he couldn't help feeling that he was getting a glimpse into Kaname that he had not seen or understood before. It was puzzling and almost frustrating how the pureblood could make things that sounded so abhorrent seem like they made perfect sense. It made Zero's head ache like he was getting a brain cramp.

Kaname could see in Zero's eyes that he was actually putting a lot of thought into what he was hearing, whether or not he agreed with Kaname's point of view on the whole situation. The pureblood pulled the chair from his desk and turned it around, sitting on it backwards as he faced Zero. He'd come up here intending to read Seiji's papers and shower as soon as he got rid of Zero, but he was quite engrossed in their discussion now instead. He had started today trying to find something to interest Zero, but now it was he who was finding diversion in the opportunity to share and discuss ideas with someone who didn't have a hidden agenda and wasn't just saying whatever he thought Kaname wanted to hear.

"One of my ancestors rose above the other purebloods to become the first vampire king, although that title only came into use much later," Kaname hopped back to the topic that had started the whole discussion. "Under him, all the individual syndeos had something to bind them together, which further decreased open fighting among the different factions. Certainly, animosities existed and persisted, but they were usually handled more quietly, and with less spectacular collateral damage. Many centuries later, another ancestor of mine decided it was too dangerous to have all that power in one place and formed the Council of Elders instead."

Zero gave a soft, cynical exhale, once more leaning against the footboard as he faced where Kaname was sitting. "Oh, yeah... because that's worked out _so _well..." he said sarcastically, thinking of all the trouble they had with the Council back during the whole situation with Kaname's sadistically homicidal uncle.

Kaname had to snort softly at that too. "Every system has its flaws..." there was a definite hint of derision in his voice this time. He had no fondness for the Council, who had been happily willing to feed him to the wolves and whose former head had not only tortured him unmercifully but also been complicit in the death of his parents. "Still, the truth is it may be better overall to have a group of treacherous vipers having to share power than one individual with absolute rule. The Council is held in check naturally because each of them is after his or her own interests, so they won't let any of the others get too out of line. It's when they all actually agree on something that there's trouble." Kaname gave a wry half smile. It was a heavily imperfect world in which they lived, but it was the only one they had.

"There aren't many purebloods left now. Less than three hundred in the whole world," Kaname continued after a moment. Those numbers weren't widely revealed, but Kaname chose to share this information with Zero. If the purebloods ever did go completely extinct... the rest of the vampire race would never recover. It would be the beginning of a slow slide into greater and greater dilution of blood lines and eventual extinction of the entire race. It would of course, take many, many millennia for such a thing to happen, but to vampires that wasn't such a terribly long time to imagine. "The numbers of noble and common vampires are far too many now for all of them to belong to a pureblood syndeo. These days, powerful nobles like old Ichijo form their own syndeos, their doings overseen only by the general rule of the Council. They all pay deference to the remaining purebloods of course, but they seldom cross their paths and it has very little effect over their daily activities. Takuma could have had his own syndeo before now if he wanted one, instead of being part of mine. One day soon though, that will change." There was a distant look in Kaname's eyes. Almost... wistful? Zero found it interesting and watched the pureblood quietly, just listening and letting him speak.

"When the Council finally releases his inheritance to him, Takuma will have to take over the syndeo that his grandfather left behind or they will all fall into disarray and be vulnerable to being preyed upon by outsiders. You see, Zero, a syndeo doesn't just mean a following of people who obey you, it's also a serious responsibility. Every member of my syndeo is under my protection. Because of the way our social order works, lower class vampires cannot always obtain protection or justice for themselves, especially against those of purer blood. They need the head of their syndeo to do these things for them. If they have a grievance that is beyond their ability to act upon, it is my responsibility to seek justice on their behalf. If they stand accused of something before the Council, it is my responsibility to find out the truth and either mete out punishment or stand in their defense. Obviously, if I had a large syndeo, I would delegate many of these responsibilities to others in my inner circle as I couldn't possibly see to everyone personally. But no matter how many layers of authority there were, I would still be ultimately responsible for looking after them all, for keeping everyone safe from other powerful vampires who might put designs upon them. You saw what happened with Seiji and Shiki. Senri is a noble, only a pureblood or a more powerful noble could command blind obedience and submission from him, but imagine all the common vampires... without the protection of a syndeo, they would be sorely abused by any higher being who stood to gain from using them," Kaname explained, finally coming full circle back to Zero's original question.

Kaname's syndeo was currently very small, comprised mostly of the students at the academy and in some cases, although not all, their families as well. He was still a young vampire, even if he was the Kuran heir, so it wasn't unusual that his direct syndeo was still very modest and almost completely comprised of high-level nobles at this point, most of whom would one day form that inner circle he had mentioned a moment ago. To be honest, Kaname had wanted to keep it this way for now because he took the responsibilities of his position quite seriously and wasn't ready to spread himself out any further just yet. He'd had other game plans he had been focusing on while his uncle was still alive. While... Yuki... was still alive. Now... well, eventually he would have to give some thought to expanding his reach, but he wasn't ready for that right now. He actually was a little worried about Takuma, inheriting his grandfather's huge syndeo with no previous experience and without the benefit of having a handpicked inner circle that he could trust. He knew his childhood friend would be able to rise to the challenge, his caring nature would make him a good leader eventually, but it wasn't going to be easy. Kaname was fairly sure that Shiki at least, would follow Takuma to his syndeo, and that was good. Takuma would need friends.

Zero wasn't sure what to make of the brief but complicated play of emotions behind Kaname's eyes. He was looking at the pureblood with something akin to shock. He was aware that Kaname had a certain sense of responsibility and dedication to those he considered under him, and to the vampire race in general because of his bloodline, but the hunter hadn't realized there was actually such a formal, explicit relationship between those in power and those who followed. He supposed if his hunter training hadn't stopped so early, he would have learned at least some of this over time, but it still came as a surprise to him now.

"So instead they can just be abused and used by _one_ more powerful being..." Zero couldn't stop himself from observing, his thoughts flickering to Rido, Ichijo and now Seiji. Right... like any of them would have hesitated to use their followers like pawns, like they would really go to bat for the little guy if it didn't serve their purposes. Sure. And hell would freeze over any minute. Even having just found out about the whole situation, Zero thought that Kaname might have a slightly romanticized view of how this worked in reality. The hunter wasn't ready to cut any vampire enough slack to give them the benefit of that much doubt.

Kaname grimaced slightly, choosing not to take affront at Zero's words because unfortunately it wasn't that off-base of a remark. "Sometimes," he conceded slowly. "But one tyrant with at least some vested interest in his syndeo's general wellbeing is better than a hundred marauders with no interest at all," he said quietly.

Zero's brows furrowed, his retort dying on his lips because he could see an unexpected earnestness in the pureblood's chocolate eyes. Kaname wasn't just toting the party line on this... he really believed what he was saying, and it was almost like he wanted Zero to understand. Wanted the hunter to understand _him. _Zero didn't know if that would ever be possible, but... he _did_ understand some things a little better. In some ways... Kaname wasn't _so _bad. For a vampire. There were certainly worse ones out there.

Kaname paused a moment before his eyes caught Zero's. "You're part of my syndeo, you know," he said quietly.

Zero frowned, confused by the conflict of the warm ache in his chest and the knee-jerk reaction of disgust in his gut that the words evoked in him. Zero didn't want to be a part of this whole screwed up system. But at the same time, given all that Kaname had just said...

Zero looked away, hands sliding into his pockets. Neither of them spoke for a moment.

"I, um... I should probably go take that shower now," Zero said finally, finding himself strangely reluctant to leave as he pushed away from the bed frame. He realized with a small jolt that he was lounging around in Kaname's living quarters and strangely feeling perfectly comfortable and natural there.

Kaname stirred, as if equally unwilling to see Zero go. "You can use my shower if you want," he offered.

Zero was actually tempted, but quickly shook his head instead. He was afraid that if he got in Kaname's shower, he wouldn't be alone in there very long.

"No thanks, I have to change anyway," he said heading for the door. As he stepped into the hall, the hunter noticed with mild surprise that he was still in his sock feet, having left his shoes in the gym. He'd been so engrossed that he hadn't realized he'd forgotten them. Actually, he'd forgotten a lot the past hour or two, and that was a good thing. For a little while, he'd forgotten that he was depressed, forgotten that he hated living. For a little while.

"Okay," Kaname said simply, rising from the chair and nudging it back under the desk as he watched Zero leave. "Zero... come to dinner with the rest of us later?" he requested before the silver haired boy had completely shut the door between them.

Zero paused, hand still on the knob as he stood in the hall. He almost refused but... "Maybe," he said on a sudden, unbidden impulse instead. Then the door clicked shut.

Kaname stared unseeing at it for a moment, a faint, almost soft expression momentarily flittering across his features before he sighed and headed for the bathroom, removing the envelope from his waistband and tugging his shirt off over his head.


	9. Flickers in the Mirror

**Chapter Nine: "Flickers in the Mirror"**

Kaname was quiet and lost in thought as the Night Class students assembled in their dorm's large, gracefully furnished dining hall, taking seats at long tables set with linen tablecloths, flickering candles and expensive china. The only resemblance that room had to what one might expect from the refectory of a normal school dormitory was the long tables and community seating.

By default, however, no one sat at the first table in the room, Kaname's table, unless they had been specifically invited by the pureblood to do so. Usually Takuma, Seiren, Kain, Aido, Ruka, Shiki, Rima and a few of the others sat there, by way of standing invitation, but sometimes Kaname made it clear he wanted to eat alone and no one bothered him. Lately, however, Kaname hadn't been coming to dinner at all, but having meals sent to his room, or skipping them entirely.

The others were glad to see him there tonight, even if he was silent and withdrawn as had become his usual disposition of late. Most of the usual group was sitting at his table, having flocked over when they saw he was actually joining them. Aido watched Kaname silently, although he tried not to look like it. Kaname had always been a quiet, private person, but the complete withdrawal he'd been in since Yuki's death was different. Aido never saw him smile so that it reached his eyes anymore. Never saw a break in the oppressive weight that hung behind his composed, expressionless mask. He felt that no one deserved to have suffered so much. He'd do anything if he could have made Kaname happy, but there was nothing he could do.

Kaname glanced towards the doorway once or twice, then resolutely seemed to avoid looking in that direction at all as the food was served. He told the server to leave an extra plate, indicating the empty spot beside him that no one had taken because he'd put a book on the seat when he sat down. The others exchanged silent glances, but didn't comment.

Was Kaname waiting for someone? Who? Everyone was here...

"I heard that Seiji Sato came by to see you earlier," Takuma said by way of breaking the intense silence of the table as everyone slowly started eating. To his credit Takuma managed to mostly hide the small flash of emotion that shot through his eyes as his gaze flickered towards Shiki. The bruise on his cheek had long since faded, but it was obvious that Takuma had seen it before it had. Shiki, a little embarrassed, looked intently at his plate as he ate.

This was news to some of the others. Kain raised his eyebrows, surprised that the whole dorm hadn't been informed. "Sato... as in the pureblood family Sato? Here? I didn't know he'd filled out a visitor's application."

Kaname smiled mirthlessly. "Seiji isn't one for paperwork," he said simply as he nibbled at his food. "He came by unannounced. I do believe it never even crossed his mind that he might need permission to go somewhere."

No one commented on that, although Takuma gave Kaname a slightly sympathetic look. Of those present, he alone knew Seiji like Kaname did and could fully appreciate the correctness of that statement. It burned him that the other pureblood had raised a hand to Shiki. Even though he knew Kaname had stood up for him, he felt guilty that he hadn't been there. He was the dorm vice president, he should have been the one taking responsibility to try and stop Seiji from disturbing Kaname and any of the consequences that garnered. Shiki had been covering for him and gotten hurt and that didn't sit well with him. Shiki thought the whole thing was no big deal and wished that Takuma would stop overreacting.

"Seiji came to deliver a package his brother entrusted to him to bring to me," Kaname answered Takuma's earlier, unspoken question. Apparently Shiki had felt that Kaname's business was his own and not mentioned the purpose of the visit to anyone, even Takuma. Kaname appreciated that and he gave no further information. No one pried.

Silence descended again as they ate until presently the others started talking quietly amongst themselves about class, or other such matters. Kaname tuned out the low buzz of conversation, thinking to the contents of the envelope that now resided safely in one of the locked drawers of his desk.

The information Diachi forwarded had indeed contained information about who had patented the RH3-211 process, but as it turned out, it belonged to a massive research group conglomerate and had been registered in with a batch of over a hundred other compounds. No individual person or research group was associated with the record. The needle was no closer than it had been before, but at least the haystack had gotten a little smaller. Kaname had immediately put resources to work checking out the lead, even calling Seiren, who was still on assignment for him in the north, and setting her on the hunt. A lead was a lead, no matter how slim, but Kaname wasn't sure yet if the records were verifiable, or if it had been a bogus registration. The dates didn't check with some of the other information he had found, which might or might not be important.

He didn't expect that Diachi was behind the forgery, if forgery it was, although he did suspect that this was not all the information that the other pureblood possessed on the subject. Diachi was trying to cultivate favorable relations with him. Kaname had a feeling the information was meant to be both a gift and a teaser. Diachi wanted his attention, and was tempting him with things he desired. Kaname was well aware that Diachi would like to strengthen his own companies' positions by making strategic alliances with those who held social, political and monetary clout. Kaname fit the bill on at least two of those for sure. The elder Sato would probably be furious if he found out how much his little brother had tried to torpedo his attempts at fostering good will. Kaname got some morose satisfaction out of that and was considering the best ways to go about making sure that Diachi did find out, when a sudden lull in the conversations around him drew his attention back to the here and now.

A familiar sensation at the base of his throat drew his head around towards the doorway and the reason why conversations had fallen still, not only at his table but also at several of the others near the entry, could be seen.

Zero was standing quietly in the doorway, a sudden air of uncertainty hanging about him when so many of the vampires present stopped talking and stared in his direction. He didn't know why he was here, he really didn't. He hadn't meant to come, but for some reason... here he was.

Most of the vampires at the other tables simply ignored him once they decided he hadn't come to make trouble and went back to eating, but several of them were giving him glacial looks of reproach for disturbing their meal with his presence. They had become used to seeing him as a school prefect, but now that he was no longer a guardian, they didn't see why they had to tolerate him, except to not disturb the school's peace. Most of them by now knew what he was, but they certainly hoped he didn't fancy that that meant he could insinuate himself in here. An _ex-human_ did not belong with them_. _

Zero easily sensed the open hostility and shifted onto his back foot, hands sliding into his pockets. This was a mistake. He did not belong here, and he certainly didn't _want_ to belong here. Why the _hell _had he come?

Kaname quickly rose to his feet, causing a second complete hush to fall over the room and unintentionally drawing all eyes to him. "Zero, come..." Kaname said as he lifted the book from the seat beside him and slid it to the floor, pulling the chair out a little. His voice carried easily in the sudden stillness. "I saved you a seat."

Utter shock was written across most of the faces in the room and the looks fixed on Zero turned to surprise, and in a few cases outright envy.

Takuma couldn't repress a grin at the echo of surprise in the room. Senri and Rima mirrored the expression, elbowing each other lightly under the table in shared amusement. Even Kain had to smirk a little. Ruka forced a smile for Kaname, but Aido didn't. Kaname was pushing it. Everyone was going to be wondering about what Zero was to him now, and if Kaname's blood continued to be spilled where everyone could smell it... it was going to get harder and harder to keep protecting Kaname's secrets and his reputation.

Zero was frozen in the doorway, now embarrassed at having suddenly become the unwilling recipient of _everyone's _undivided attention. His cheeks flushed. _Damn, damn, damn! Why did Kaname do this to him? _But at the same time, there was a small little flicker of idiotic warmth in the back of his stomach. It reminded him a little bit of that other time, before Cross's funeral... when he'd still had his illusions to hold onto. Sometimes, Zero wished he hadn't lost those, even though it was the height of stupidity.

When he realized that Kaname wasn't going to sit down until he came to him and the rest of the students were going to keep staring and holding their breaths for the same duration, the ex-human jammed his hands down deeper in his pockets, shoulders hunched in mortification as he quickly hurried across the front of the hall and slid down into the seat Kaname was holding for him, slumping down in his chair as if he could disappear. Sometimes, Zero was convinced that Kaname lived solely to humiliate him.

Aido's jaw tensed at having to watch Zero act like it was _embarrassing _to have Kaname ask him to sit beside him. He suddenly didn't feel very hungry anymore, unless stupid, stubborn ex-human was on the menu. But what really got to him was the smile on Kaname's face as Zero sat down and the pureblood retook his own seat. This smile reached Kaname's eyes. There was something soft and almost precious there... Kaname was genuinely _happy _that Zero had joined them.

Aido swallowed and looked down at his plate as the conversations in the rest of the room started up again at a low buzz. He could guess what they were all talking about even without eavesdropping, but it was the momentary glimpse on Kaname's face that held his attention and was stuck in his mind. He hadn't seen Kaname smile with any real warmth in so long... he was so glad to see that that it almost hurt. Slowly he resolved that he wasn't going to let it bother him that it was for Zero, or at least, he was going to try. After all, that didn't really matter. He'd promised himself he'd do anything to see Kaname find a little peace and happiness in his life, and he meant it, even if the ex-human was what gave it to him.

"I'm glad you could join us, Zero," Takuma diplomatically broke the ice at the table, trying to make things easier. "I hope you'll come more often. The food is very good and, it's such a large, empty table for just our little group," he added cheerfully. Kaname silently blessed his long time friend for putting in the conscious effort to be friendly and make Zero feel included.

Zero was still tense, but at least most of the people at this table didn't treat him like a pariah, even if they were just following Kaname's lead. "Thanks, maybe I will," he mumbled, looking down at the food on his plate and trying to find some remnant of appetite after what had just happened. _Don't count on it_, was what his expression said, but he kept it to himself.

"Try the steak, its good tonight," Kaname invited quietly as he cut off a small piece of the rare filet strips on his own plate that he'd hardly touched yet. Kaname took a sip of the crimson glass of dissolved blood tablets that he, like everyone else, was drinking with their meal. He suddenly paused thoughtfully, looking around for one of the servers. None were currently in the dining hall.

"Aido, would you mind getting Zero some water?" he requested quietly of the blonde sitting across the table from him. The server had left a glass of red liquid by Zero's plate as a matter of course when Kaname had asked for the extra place setting, but that was something Zero couldn't drink.

Zero tensed automatically, wondering if Kaname was trying to make his life or Aido's miserable by making a request like that. Zero was perfectly aware what the tempestuous blonde noble thought of him. "I'm fine, I don't need anything," he mumbled quickly, not wanting to make any more of a scene tonight.

But Aido had already risen from his seat. His expression was surprisingly controlled and neutral as he gave a small nod to Kaname. "Of course. I wanted a refill anyway," he said, indicating his own almost empty glass before slipping away from the table. He didn't look at Zero, but he hadn't reacted with venom either.

Kain raised his eyebrows as he watched his cousin move away, a little surprised by the sudden show of maturity, or at least, restraint. "Think Idol had a brain transplant and forgot to mention it?" he whispered privately to Ruka, who was seated beside him. Ruka only just managed to cover her grin with her napkin.

"We can only hope..." she murmured back, equally soft, timing it so that Kain was in the middle of sipping on his drink. He managed not to spit it back out, but ended up in a coughing fit. Ruka patted him on the back helpfully.

Kaname shot them an inquiring look and the fake innocence in their suddenly solemn gazes teased a small quirk from the sides of his mouth in amusement.

Aido came back with the drinks, setting Zero's tumbler of water down wordlessly beside him before retaking his seat.

"Thank you, Aido," Kaname said quietly, catching the blonde's gaze and Aido felt a tiny thread of warmth in his stomach. For the first time in a long time Kaname looked a bit more like himself as he held his gaze.

Aido just smiled and gave a little nod before going back to his food. His appetite was coming back.

The rest of the meal was pretty quiet, and Zero wondered as he picked at his food, if he was the cause of the subdued mood. He had no way of knowing that this was about par for them these days. But as the others chatted and murmured quietly amongst themselves about mundane, ordinary topics like stupid ways to word trigonometry problems, or their political science teacher's bad hair and put-me-to-sleep lecture voice, Zero actually found himself relaxing a little despite himself. Not something he would have ever thought possible in a room full of vampires. But it was so disarmingly... ordinary... seeing them like this. Talking over a meal about their classes and their lives, acting like people. It _was_ an act, perhaps, but if so they were good at it. The food was good too, even if he only felt like eating a little of it.

Kaname didn't say much. He tried a couple of times to engage Zero in conversation, but Zero didn't know what to say and didn't feel comfortable talking much in this setting. He preferred to sit quietly and listen to the others, which apparently was the same for Kaname and they ended up eating mostly in silence.

After dinner, everyone began dispersing. Zero started to remove his plate from the table, looking around for where he was supposed to leave it, but Kaname touched his arm lightly, guiding him to set it back down. "You don't have to do that, the serving staff will be around to collect the dishes after we leave."

Zero raised his eyebrows silently, but put the plate back. This set up was a lot different than the way things were in the human dormitories. But then, these students were the elite... of course, heaven forbid they should dirty their hands with anything like cleaning up. No wonder Aido had expected to be waited on hand and foot that one time he'd been 'running away' from the academy and holed up in the Cross house with Yuki and Zero...

The memory brought a flash of pain with it and Zero tried to push it down and away. No, no... don't think about it. Don't think about Yuki, about the Chairman, about the second family that he had lost, about how much he had loved...

"Thanks for dinner," he murmured quietly to Kaname and the others vaguely, suddenly feeling the strong need to be alone. "I have to go." Turning, he hurried out of the room through the exit closest to where the common room and the front doors lay.

"Zero..." Kaname started to say, his hand almost reaching for the hunter, but then falling silently back to his side as he let him go. The pureblood calmly picked up his book from under the table and turned to head for the other doorway on this side of the room that led back towards the dormitory apartments. But Aido had seen a small flicker of defeat trace ever so briefly behind the pureblood's eyes and the noble's blue gaze was thoughtful as he pushed back his chair and rose. The others were already following Kaname out, but he turned the opposite direction, taking the path that Zero had instead.

Takuma fell into step with Kaname as he proceeded towards the staircase leading to the upper apartments. Most of the other students had diverted to the common room for an hour or two of leisure time before bed and the hallway was empty except for their group. "I'm glad Zero joined us," he said slowly, trying to judge Kaname's reaction to the topic. "How are things going with you two?"

Kaname tensed and paused in mid-step as he ascended the stairs and Takuma instantly knew he'd said the wrong thing, or pried too hard into something private. Maybe this would have been a better subject to broach when they were alone, and not in front of the others.

"There is no 'us two'," Kaname said quietly, coldly. "Kindly do not make it sound as if we're... _dating_. We're in a position to be mutually beneficial to one another, that is all." Maybe some part of Kaname that he was trying to repress wanted it to be more, but Zero obviously didn't and Kaname couldn't allow himself to be foolish about all this, no matter what he felt. "Zero needs to accept his place in our culture if he is to really learn to survive. I made a promise to take care of him, and I intend to do so. I'm training him as my protégé, I will see no one mistreat or disrespect him. Please be sure that the others understand that. I will not tolerate a repeat of their rude behavior this past meal."

Takuma nodded silently, knowing better than to press the subject after such a definitive last word on the matter. Kaname was very smart, but sometimes he could be so dumb.

"Of course, I'll take care of it," Takuma promised quietly. At least being able to tell the others that Kaname had taken Zero as his protégé would give a legitimate reason to the preferential treatment the ex-human was receiving. Purebloods and nobles often took on different protégés throughout the course of their lifetimes, although usually they waited until they'd lived a couple of centuries and had accumulated experience and skills to share with some chosen younger vampire. Although in Kaname and Zero's case, Takuma supposed that the fact that Zero knew basically nothing about being a vampire at all meant that even at his age, Kaname still had things he could teach him. It wasn't all that uncommon for a noble to take on a common vampire as a protégé, although it was more uncommon for a pureblood to do so. No one took on ex-humans, and it would still cause quite a stir that Kaname had chosen to give such a coveted position to a Level D, but the interestingly unique fact that Zero was also a hunter added some weight to his possible usefulness and put some spice into the mix that would no doubt become a topic of speculation.

Kaname continued on up the stairs, but the others lingered at the bottom, sensing that he wanted to be left alone.

"I've got a Shakespeare quote coming to mind," Shiki murmured to Rima once Kaname was safely out of earshot. The other model raised her eyebrows and nodded, knowing exactly which one he was thinking about, involving someone who doth protest too much. It was true... Kaname had seemed to feel the strange and uncommon need to explain himself to them and rationalize his attachment to Zero away... which made one wonder if he was trying to convince them, or to convince himself.

\--------------------------------------

The garden area by the lake was still bathed in pre-dawn darkness, the sun not ready to make its appearance, and Zero wandered virtually unseen through the shadows before stopping to lean his back against a spreading elm tree as he watched the fading stars waver in the dark reflection of the placid lake.

Some part of him still ached to be under that rippling surface, to have already shed the pain and the cares shackling him to this life. No one would miss him... except Kaname, because he didn't have a choice. Zero ran his hand through his hair, wondering why life had to be so confusing.

He remembered the soft, watery vision of Yuki that his drowning mind had conjured up last time he'd been in that lake. Looking at him with those beautiful, sad eyes, asking him why he was wasting the life she'd never had a chance to live...

Pain hit, raw and deep. It wasn't fair. She had wanted to live, he didn't. He never had since the day he'd been bitten except for the sake of revenge and then eventually because Yuki had wanted him to, so much. But now Shizuka was long gone to dust and so was Yuki. So why was he still here? It should have been the other way around. He should have been able to take her place somehow. Maybe Kaname could have handled the breaking of their bond if Yuki had still been alive, and she'd always been in love with the pureblood. Bitter, bitter pain at that thought, and yet... even if they had ended up together, at least she would have been _alive_. Zero had to think that would have been better than this, even if part of him knew Kaname would have eventually turned her. Even now, Zero hated that thought, hated the horrible, bitter memory of what that had done to her at the end... but at the same time, if things had been different, if he was the one who had died and she hadn't been sick... he knew it wouldn't have been that way. Unwillingly, Zero knew Kaname would have taken care of her, that much he could be certain of now. She would never have been to Kaname the meaningless toy that he was, he had _seen _Kaname's grief at her loss, and you couldn't fake that. The pureblood would never have seen her as an ex-human, not once. As he had told Zero so long ago, she would have been his queen. They could have been happy. She had so much to live for... why did it have to be her? Why couldn't he have died instead?

The tears stinging the back of Zero's eyes were quickly checked and blinked back only when the hunter realized he wasn't alone out here anymore. A vampire was nearby, but it wasn't Kaname. Zero knew the scent well enough to recognize Aido before the blonde strolled out from under the shadow of the trees. Zero watched the other vampire cautiously, not sure what Aido was up to, but the noble just rested his hands in his pockets and gazed out across the lake for a moment or two.

Aido pretended not to notice Zero's suspiciously reddened eyes or the expression of hopeless longing that he had had fastened on the water. He didn't want to feel for Zero, but his heart wasn't made of stone either.

"I pulled Yuki out of that lake one time," Aido said quietly, accurately guessing who it was that Zero's thoughts were mostly resting with right now. He was capable of being astute when he put his mind to it. "She was sleepwalking and she fell in." Aido snorted softly at the distant memory. "Kaname found us on the bank when I was trying to give her CPR and almost thought I had attacked her. He came about _this _close to killing me..." Aido gestured a very small margin with his fingers.

Zero's lips quirked faintly, sadly. It was weird to hear Aido talking about Yuki, but even though it hurt to remember her, in a way it was good too – to remember her life, and not just the way she died. And he could just imagine how Kaname would have reacted to find Aido bent over a dripping, probably unresponsive Yuki.

"You're lucky it wasn't me who found you," Zero said quietly, gaze sliding back out across the water. "I probably would have done more than _almost _kill you."

Aido snorted again, softly. "You could have _tried_."

Zero shot Aido a look that was dangerously close to saying _'bring it on', _but both of them were in too somber a mood to let this really start escalating to a fight.

"I'll pull you out if you go in again too," Aido said quietly after several moments silence, his gaze now fixed on the distant horizon where the sky was starting to lighten to a milky grey. "Even if you don't want me to."

Zero couldn't tell if that was a threat or what, but it caught him a little off guard. "Gee, thanks," he said dryly and Aido shot him a look.

"Not for _you,_" the noble clarified with a slightly irritated and frustrated expression. Zero didn't know how hard this was for him. "For Kaname. He's... he's crazy about you, although heaven knows I can't possibly imagine _why_." Aido's tone turned slightly harder, betraying more of his frustration.

Zero froze, staring at Aido in the slowly growing light of dawn with incredulous surprise. Aido was _way _off base. "He may be crazy, but certainly not about me," Zero said harshly, with more bitterness than he had intended to display.

Aido bristled sharply. He was trying to be nice to the ex-human, damn it! But Zero certainly didn't make it easy. "How dare you say that about Kaname-sama...?" he seethed quietly before he could stop himself. How could Zero hold the pureblood's heart and be so callus about it? Aido wanted to throttle him.

Zero's jaw set. He really wasn't in the mood for Aido's fanatical defense of his favorite pureblood. "Look, you've got it wrong," he said simply in short, clipped tones. "Kaname has to keep me alive to protect himself because of the blood bond. That's _it_. He's just looking out for himself like he always does."

Aido actually trembled with outrage, but he did an admirable job of keeping it to himself this time. Did Zero really believe that rubbish? "Maybe he has to have you alive, but he doesn't have to look at you the way he does. He doesn't have to smile at you like that... like you're the only freaking person in the world. _God, _Zero, I knew you were stupid, I didn't realize you were blind!"

"Shut up! You don't know what the hell you're talking about!" Zero was about a hairsbreadth from taking a swing at Aido. The aristocrat had no business shoving his nose into Zero's life and making such outrageous claims... claims that hurt so much because of that stupid part of Zero that wanted them to be true. Aido would always, _always _see Kaname through rose colored glasses and assume his motivations were noble. Did he really not realize what the pureblood was capable of? Or did he, like everyone else, simply think it was okay? Kaname was _using _him, short and simple. Zero accepted that in exchange for what it got him in return. Those were the cold hard facts and Zero wasn't going to pretend otherwise. Let it be what it was. Anything else was too complicated and confusing. Kaname had made it clear at least that he wasn't intending to grind Zero's face in what he was, which was more than he had to do, the hunter supposed. Zero was okay with the arrangement, was slowly coming to terms with it, or at least so he told himself. He didn't appreciate someone creating ripples in his tenuous acceptance of the way his life was turning out to be.

"Did you ever stop to think that maybe you put the best construction on every damn thing he does?" Zero lashed out coldly.

Aido balled his fists tensely at his sides, returning Zero's glare with icy fury. "Did you ever stop to think that maybe you put the worst construction on them?" he countered.

They stood there, locked in a silent glaring match for a long minute or two as the first rim of the golden sun started pushing its way up over the horizon.

Aido winced as the bright, rising orb flared in his periphery vision and turned a little to be out of its glare. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. He wasn't sure how exactly they'd gotten here. Zero just seemed to have a unique knack for getting under his skin. "Look, I didn't come out here to argue," he said slowly, attempting to be reasonable although his tone was still deeply annoyed. "I just wanted to check on you and be sure you were okay."

To say that Zero looked skeptical would have been an understatement. "Yeah. I'm _great_," he said sarcastically. "So why don't you go back to the dorm. The sun's up and you're not supposed to be out here."

Aido resisted the urge to tell Zero to shove it, as he wasn't a prefect any more. "You can believe what you want, Zero," he said quietly instead, the unexpected tone catching Zero more off guard than any snarky remarks would have. "All I can speak to is what I see. But what I see is that there is a pureblood back there who is willing to do a hell of a lot for you. You've no idea how many people would want to be in your shoes, ex-human and all. I just want Kaname to be happy, Zero. If you make him happy... then it doesn't matter what I think, that makes you pretty special. I won't let anything happen to him, so I won't let anything happen to you," the blonde said with a quiet, fierce protectiveness. "So you can just stop looking at the water that way and start thinking of better things to do." Aido didn't know what Kaname saw in Zero, but for Kaname's sake he was willing to try to learn. And maybe for Zero's sake... he wanted him to lose that hopeless look in his eyes that was like staring into the soul of one of the damned.

Aido turned and walked away back towards his dorm.

Zero watched him leave before his gaze slid back to the horizon and the rising sun. Aido was wrong about him and Kaname, but... the fact that he'd even tried to reach out in his own way was surprising enough to make Zero mull over what he'd said. _Did_ he automatically put the worst construction on everything Kaname did? Or was he just being realistic? After all, the man was a **vampire**_... and so are you. _The same old voices, whispering inside him, torn between two worlds that he should never have been forced to juggle.

Zero rubbed his eyes and turned away from the sun, which was starting to make them sting. Slowly, he walked away from the lake. He was tired, exhausted from his workout earlier and from the constant confusion warring inside of him. He was tired enough though that perhaps for once he would sleep well for a while. That sounded good. He didn't want to think anymore today.


	10. Glitter and Swirl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _A/N: Guess this makes up for the short chapters in the beginning because this chapter is a friggin' monster! LOL well... hopefully no one minds... ;) I want to give a warm thank you to YenGirl for her kind support in helping me decide if part of this chapter worked or not. Hopefully you like the rest of it now too! :D_

**Chapter Ten: "Glitter and Swirl"**

Kaname was only mildly surprised when the gilded and embossed envelope arrived via special courier the next morning during breakfast. It bore the Sato family crest and he opened it while he ate his toast. The heavy ivory paper and size of the envelope screamed 'invitation'.

Aido fixed the letter with a curious look as he spread some jam on his own piece of toast. Kaname was breakfasting in the dinner hall with the other students before they left for their classes. He'd sent Rima to invite Zero to join them, but Zero hadn't showed and Kaname didn't think he would this time, not after how awkward it had been last night. Kaname knew he was crazy if he expected Zero to feel comfortable with them. _Yet. _The hunter needed more exposure to the vampire world. You couldn't be expected to understand what you had never been exposed to, right? Zero looked at everything from such a very human viewpoint, Kaname wanted to expand his horizons a bit. But it was hard to do here at the school, where things were patterned to a human way of doing things, and even the vampires conformed to that, out of respect.

The mood in the breakfast room was very quiet and subdued this morning. Vampires were naturally sensitive in certain ways, and the entire room was feeling the subtle, but marked weight of Kaname's displeasure with all of them over what had happened last night. No one here would repeat such behavior... or at least, they wouldn't do it in front of Kaname. But the truth was, Zero was going to have to build up a thick skin to survive in the vampire world. There were too many who would not want to accept him. But there were also those who would, at least with Kaname fronting for him. Of course, Zero already had a thick shell that served him well, but Kaname wished he didn't have to hate all vampires, and himself, to maintain it. There had to be other, less destructive ways for him to cope...

Distracted by his own thoughts, Kaname scanned the elaborate card he pulled from the envelope. Invitation. Just like he'd thought. It was for the party that Seiji had mentioned vaguely the previous day – a gala event being held at the Sato's mansion in the south. But it was the date that made Kaname quirk a somewhat amused eyebrow. Apparently when Seiji said 'later this year' that had actually translated to 'next week' which was doubtless why Diachi had wanted his brother to mention it in the first place, given the short notice. Kaname's expression was wry. Whatever his brother's intentions, Seiji obviously didn't want Kaname there. Actually, it was probably the only thing upon which they had ever agreed. However... Kaname understood what Diachi was doing and now wondered, after having read the information he'd been given, if he could afford to decline.

"Invitation to the Satos?" Takuma inquired as he sipped his tea. He recognized the seal on the envelope. The Satos had been guests occasionally at his grandfather's parties and he'd been to a number of the Satos' gatherings. Probably more than Kaname, actually, since Kaname had been able to weasel out of being forced to go to the soirees more easily than he could when they were younger.

Kaname nodded, turning it so the others could see as he finished his breakfast. "Yes, for next week."

Aido gave a slightly funny look. "Isn't it a little rude to give such short notice? They don't exactly live close by."

Kaname dropped the invitation and the RSVP card beside his plate and sipped his tea. He inclined his head slightly. "Normally, perhaps. I believe Diachi Sato is trying to indicate that he wants me there for other matters. But he's leaving me an easy reason to decline if I am not interested by what he offers..." the pureblood mused, almost more to himself than the others. Pureblood politics were a unique tangle unto themselves, but Kaname knew the game.

Kaname pulled a pen from his inner jacket pocket and filled out the RSVP card.

Takuma looked mildly surprised. Kaname must be interested in whatever Diachi was offering, because he knew how much his friend loathed the younger Sato brother. "You're going?"

Kaname simply nodded as he sealed the smaller RSVP envelope. "Yes. I think I'll take Kiriyu with me," he commented off-handedly.

Aido choked on his tea and had to set it down quickly, coughing into his hand to clear his throat. Several eyebrows at the tables raised, but as usually it was only Takuma who outright questioned Kaname. "Are you sure that's a good idea?" he inquired slowly. He doubted it was the kind of gathering where the hunter was likely to feel comfortable.

Kaname was well aware of the fact, but he took it as an opportunity to start exposing Zero to the larger vampire world, away from the familiar routine of the Academy which now held so many painful reminders of the past for them both. Besides, it would be good in the long term to start introducing Zero to society and the other vampire elites. Kaname was under no illusions about the kind of responses the nobles would be inclined to give, but that was bound to happen and made it all the more important to start showing clearly and as soon as possible that Kiriyu was one of his. The fact that Zero was under his protection meant little if other vampires didn't know about it. Given Zero's propensity to find trouble and invite fights... Kaname wanted it known.

"Yes," Kaname said simply, with a little more conviction than he felt as he finished his tea. His reasoning was all well and fine, but was perhaps the deeper truth that he didn't want to be away from Zero? That he wanted him along because otherwise some part of him would be worrying about the boy, so far away and out of his reach? What if Zero needed blood? What if he got depressed again and... and... _No._ Zero was coming with him, that was all there was too it.

\--------------------------------------

"Forget it, I'm not going!" Zero couldn't believe Kaname expected him to go to some stupid vampire party on the other side of the country. It was bad enough being around the vampires here_. Let's travel hundreds of miles to go hang out with some other blood suckers!_ Not his idea of fun. The fact that it was Seiji's family just clinched it for him. Kaname was insane if he thought Zero was going to subject himself to that. And _why? _When Seiji had mentioned it the other day, Zero had thought that Kaname was about as interested in going to that party as he was in getting his fingernails plucked out. Now suddenly not only was he going, but he wanted to drag Zero along with him. Zero suspected the sudden change had something to do with whatever had been in the envelope Kaname had been given the previous day, but suspicion was about all he had because the pureblood was being as informative as a clam.

Kaname ignored Zero's refusal, pulling open one of the hunter's drawers as he stood by the small chest in Zero's room in the Sun Dorm, where he had come looking for the ex-human. The pureblood looked thoughtfully through the contents of the drawer. "Don't you have anything else to wear?" he inquired mildly. He'd expected he was going to have to get Zero appropriate evening attire for the party, but he really didn't see anything here that passed muster for the trip either...

Seething, Zero reached over and slammed the drawer shut, only Kaname's quicker reflexes keeping him from getting his fingers pinched in it. "Stay OUT of my stuff!" he growled. Damn pureblood, coming in here acting like he owned the world and could move Zero around like a chess piece, anywhere on the board he wanted...

Kaname moved over to the closet, glancing inside. "I have a tailor coming over to take your measurements a little later," he continued calmly, as if Zero wasn't throwing a fit and they were having a normal conversation. "If for some reason he cannot find you, I will simply give him my best guess for your measurements..." Kaname's gaze paused for a moment, unable to resist sweeping briefly across Zero's body. "And it won't be my fault if your clothes aren't comfortable."

Kaname pulled a couple of shirts forward on the closet rack. "These aren't bad... you have any pants that would match these?" he inquired.

Zero just about lost it. He grabbed Kaname by the arm and yanked him away from closet, shoving him up against the wall beside it. His face was livid with irritation and his eyes glowed slightly. Kaname felt his breath catch just a little as he stared into those eyes, mesmerized enough that he didn't try to pull away.

"I am _NOT _going, so you don't have to worry about my _damn _clothes!" Zero seethed.

Kaname just stared at him, not backing down, not attacking. Just staring with a gaze that was unsettlingly hard to hold. Zero felt his heartbeat quickening from something other than just anger. He was very close to Kaname... the pureblood's arm was warm in his tight grip as he held it jammed against the wall, and Kaname wasn't pushing him away.

"I want you to come, Zero," Kaname said quietly, simply.

Zero's chest burned at Kaname's arrogance in thinking that the whole world revolved around what he wanted. Yet at the same time, there was a funny tug in the pit of his stomach, a funny little part of him that wanted to comply, just because Kaname desired it. Anger and alarm swirled harsher inside him. What was happening to him? Was he succumbing to the vampire instinct to obey a pureblood? His jaw clenched. It would be a cold day in hell before he'd do that... he may often let Kaname have his way because logistically he had no choice, but Zero would be damned if he let _nature _take any part of that choice away from him.

Zero could feel the blood rushing through Kaname's veins as he squeezed his arm hard enough to leave bruises, momentary as they were. The pureblood's strong, lithe body was a mere few inches away... held tight against the wall... Zero felt a different burning sensation inside him. He wanted to tear into Kaname... but the amount of arousal mixed with his rage was stunning. He wanted to push him down onto the floor and... Zero's breath trembled in his chest. _What the hell?_ What was _WRONG _with him? Yet he felt strangely frozen.

Kaname was frozen too. There was a dangerous fire in Zero's eyes that excited him, sending dark little chills running up his spine. Usually, Zero's vampire nature only revealed itself when he was drinking blood, but Kaname saw it flickering behind his silver-red eyes now. It was still Zero, but the gaze was wild, intense, demanding... sensual. Kaname's heart thudded, not having a clue why he reacted so strongly. _Yes, Zero... I know you feel it, you want to rip my throat out... but this side of you isn't bad... if you learn to understand it, to accept and control it... _

Kaname's free hand slid up to lightly cup Zero's cheek. He didn't even realize he was holding his breath.

Zero started as if he'd been burned. With far more effort than he wanted to admit he jerked away from Kaname, releasing him and quickly stepping back a few paces. His breath rasped raggedly in his throat as he ruthlessly shoved backwards against the dark desires hedging his mind. He was such a freak, and since the first time he'd shared his blood, Kaname only made him more and more of an abomination. Zero could never accept this... how could he ever come to grips with the darkness hiding in his soul? This nature so foreign that sometimes felt so right?

Zero shoved his hand into his hair, fingers curling tightly at the roots as he caught his breath.

As he looked at Zero, Kaname felt a certain sense of disappointment in seeing the dark flicker vanish from the gorgeous silver eyes. Every part of Zero attracted him, even unwillingly, but the rare glimpse of that part of him which Zero hid away so tightly had undone the pureblood unbelievably quickly... Kaname's heart was still hammering.

"I'm not going," Zero muttered softly, looking away. But they both knew he would.

\--------------------------------------

Zero wore a firm scowl as he toted his suitcase across the grassy lawn towards the school drive where the limousine that had come to take he and Kaname to the airport was waiting. He still couldn't believe he was doing this. Fricking stupid is what he was.

Stupid and hungry... damn, now was _not _a great time for his body to be deciding it needed blood. He hadn't imbibed Kaname's since last week. He'd gone back to avoiding the pureblood as much as he could because every time he was around Kaname it was like he had no control over himself, over the humiliating and confusing desire to _want _him. Of course, their almost daily training sessions made complete avoidance pretty much impossible.

_Training. Right. More like 'kick the snot out of Zero sessions'..._ he thought grimly, although in reality, despite the predictable outcome, Zero enjoyed the chance to channel his frustrations and anger into a useful, relatively safe outlet. And Zero was learning, he becoming familiar with his partner's attack and defense styles, even if he couldn't yet do anything about them. One of these fine days, he _was _going to hand Kaname his head and tell him where to shove it.

Zero saw Kaname glancing somewhat pointedly at his watch as he stood leaning against the side of the limo, waiting. _Wouldn't be today though, unfortunately. _Zero intentionally did not hurry up.

It wasn't his fault he was running a little behind schedule. He'd had an unexpected visitor waiting outside the Sun Dorms when he left...

_/ Zero pulled up short when he saw a familiar blonde with his hands in his pockets, loitering around near the row of trees outside the dormitory. Before Zero could get on the vampire's case for hanging around the human areas of the campus, even at night, it had become apparent that Aido had in fact, been waiting for him. _

_Aido had a funny kind of half-flustered, half-resolute look on his face. He made his way quickly over to Zero and pushed something into the ex-human's free hand. _

_"I made these for you and Kaname," Aido muttered, almost so fast that it was hard to make out. "Maybe they'll be useful." _

_Zero looked down in open surprise at the pair of thin, short silver chains now resting in his palm. They looked suspiciously like bracelets. His eyebrows shot up and the nonplussed look of incredulity on his face was something to behold. He almost laughed. What, matching jewelry? Like hell he was going to wear that, and he sincerely doubted Kaname would either. He already thought Aido was a little whacked, but the vampire must have really lost his marbles... _

_"Um... okay..." he said slowly. _

_Aido was flushing deeply. Despite his confusion, Zero couldn't help but get a little wicked amusement out of how embarrassed the normally arrogant playboy vamp obviously was. "Look, they have to be worn over one of the vital blood areas of the body. Heart, wrist, neck or groin. I kind of thought wrist would be the least obtrusive," Aido snapped defensively. _

_This was not helping Zero's confusion. "Aido, what the hell are you talking a-?"_

_"They're scent charms!" Aido interrupted impatiently, as if that was somehow supposed to be blaringly obvious. Zero's blank look said it wasn't. With exaggerated and scanty patience, Aido backed the story up a little to explain. _

_"I did some research and got the formula from one of the old books in our library. The delivery system was nasty and antiquated though and involved garlic," Aido wrinkled his nose in distaste. "But applying a slightly more modern understanding of chemistry to it I was able to substitute the..." _

_Zero realized that if he let Aido go on like this he was going to get a blow by blow account that he didn't have time for right now. "Aido, I'm supposed to be leaving..." _

_Aido shot him a dark look, but cut to the chase. He was only rambling because he felt so awkward about this, and he wasn't sure if Kaname was going to appreciate his interfering or think he had royally overstepped his bounds. _

_"I bound the charm to the alloy that the bracelets are made of," he summarized coolly, a little resentful that Zero would have no idea how hard that had been or how many late hours he'd worked since last week up to come with this. "It should be good for about six months, and I can teach you how to renew _

_them. They have to be initialized with a drop of blood from both of you on each of the bracelets. The invoking word is '_gan'_." _

_Zero was trying to figure out if Aido was pulling his leg. He wouldn't put it past Aido to try and get him to do something stupid and embarrassing just for kicks. The fact that this involved Kaname, however, pretty much dispelled that idea. Somehow, Zero didn't think Aido would ever try to pull something like that on the pureblood. It would hardly be healthy. Besides, the hunter was familiar with the use of hunter charms and he knew vampires had their own set, even though they were far less practiced now then in ages past, with many vampires feeling they were a crutch for those not naturally gifted and with modern technology completely removing the need for many of them. Didn't mean the old charms weren't still quite effective though... he was wearing one right now... Zero resisted the urge to touch the seal behind his ear as his thoughts drifted to it. "But what exactly is this supposed to _ _**do** _ _?" he wanted to know, still not sure why Aido was doing this. _

_"I told you, they're for hiding smells from other vampires. When you both wear them, they should mask the scent of blood or other... things..." Aido was talking fast again and staring away to the right, skin still burning. Thinking of Kaname and Zero together like that was _not _something he liked to dwell on, but facts were facts and he wanted to protect Kaname. _

_"You'll still be able to smell each other; since they'll be initialized to the both of you, but no one else will be able to. I think..." The charm was actually directed towards a subtle muddling of other vampires' senses, rather than a true masking of scent itself, but Aido didn't bother to go into that. _

_Zero looked both surprised and skeptical now, although he had no reason to disbelieve what Aido was telling him, when it was obviously so difficult for the other vampire. Zero couldn't help flushing himself though at Aido's last semi-implication. "You _think_?" he inquired, trying to stop the heat prickling his cheeks as he closed the chains in his fist and pushed them in his pocket. _

_Aido scowled at him. "Yes, I THINK. It's not like I've been able to test it on anyone but myself and Kain you know." The young vampire had more doubts than he wanted to admit. He hadn't wanted to involve anyone other than his cousin, who was used to getting dragged into Aido's schemes and whom the blonde knew he could trust. But the downside was they'd only been able to test the bracelets individually, rather than how they preformed when initialized to two people instead of one. _

_"I don't know if the charm will be strong enough to mask Kaname's scent, but I hope it will," he admitted. Aido's fists bunched at his sides. "You don't understand, Zero. You don't understand how vulnerable you make him when you put his blood in the air. What it does to the rest of us! You're going to be around other nobles and purebloods this weekend, ones who don't care about Kaname and whose instincts may not be to protect him. I will _not _see you put his reputation or safety on the line by letting others smell you on him or by spilling his blood where anyone can scent it!" Aido hissed furiously. _

_Zero was slightly taken aback by Aido's vehemence. The blond was deadly serious. /_

Zero let the driver take his suitcase and put it in the trunk while he joined Kaname, who had already taken his place inside the back of the limo. They got underway in silence. Zero was staring out the window and trying to ignore the tense ache building in his chest, the dull throbbing of his teeth and the dryness of his throat that indicated a craving was coming on.

Kaname watched him closely, silently for about five minutes. When he realized Zero wasn't going to say anything, despite the way the hunter's fingers were now unconsciously knotted in the front of his shirt, he gave up with a sigh.

"Are you thirsty, Zero?" he asked quietly, his tone saying he already knew the answer.

Zero tensed and his gaze remained fixed out the window for a few moments. If he ignored it long enough, he could make it go away. For now. He wasn't desperate yet and he'd learned the painful process of suppressing his hunger pretty well. The tense fist twisted in his chest and he grimaced in pain.

Kaname watched him with quiet, almost sad eyes. He didn't know why Zero fought himself so hard. The more he fought his cravings, the more he would continue to struggle. Admittedly... now was not a great time for this to happen, as Kaname really didn't want to have to get on an airplane – a small, confined space with recycled air – smelling like blood. If there were other vampires on the plane, it would cause problems. But that couldn't be helped. He would not see Zero suffer unnecessarily and it was better here than once they reached their destination. If Diachi had people waiting to pick them up at the airport, as he probably would, it would be a hundred times harder to find somewhere private and safe to let Zero feed.

With a slight, resigned sigh, Kaname pushed a button to close the privacy partition between the front and back of the Limo and unbuttoned the neck of his black silk shirt. He pulled it away from his throat. "Please try to not spill," he said quietly. "I don't want to have to change before we leave the car."

Zero swallowed a lump in his throat, closing his eyes for a moment. As if this wasn't hard enough on its own... he couldn't help suddenly being reminded... of the other person who had given him blood. Zero's hand clutched harder at his chest, suddenly glad for the intense ache of his blood need that could almost, but not quite cover the other ache.

Zero resisted a few stubborn, heartsick moments longer, but he could feel Kaname behind him, watching him and finally he slowly gave in. What was the point, anyway? Whether he drank Kaname's blood now or later, it would have to happen eventually. Putting him a little more in the pureblood's debt... proving a little more what kind of sad animal Zero was.

Turning away from the window, Zero felt his heart jump slightly, gaze immediately drawn to Kaname's exposed neck. _Oh God... _he knew he was hungry, but did his whole body have to respond _so _hard to the sight? He was disgusting.

Sliding closer so he was sitting next to Kaname, Zero hesitated, remembering Aido's gift in his pocket. He wasn't sure he wanted to mention that whole interlude to Kaname, but... what if Aido was right? And anyway, Zero would certainly be glad to not go around smelling like Kaname all the time and getting all those damn knowing looks... if these things actually worked.

Kaname looked at Zero curiously when he didn't start feeding right away and Zero slowly reached in his pocket. He related to Kaname what Aido had told him, and Kaname seemed immediately intrigued, turning the thin silver chain over in his hands and running it between his fingers as if he could test the strength of the charm. He couldn't really. Despite having taught himself how to perform a blood seal after having had his life saved by the one the Chairman had carried, charm lore had never been much in his particular line of study, but it was a field ironically kindred to math and sciences, and he knew Aido was a whiz in that department. Aido had been very secretive and hardly around the past week or so, and it amused Kaname to realize what he'd been up to.

"Well, shall we try it?" Kaname said wryly, dangling one of the chains a bit pensively from between his fingers.

Zero was actually a little relieved that Kaname seemed slightly unsure about the whole thing too, although the pureblood was better at hiding it. He shrugged. "I guess it can't hurt."

Kaname pricked himself with a fingernail and got a single drop of blood to dab on each bracelet. Zero's fangs extended fully; almost painfully the instant the intoxicating scent of blood hit the air. Maybe Aido had a right to worry... if Kaname's blood made other vampires feel as crazy as it made him feel. Fortunately though, the scent of a single drop wouldn't carry very far. Zero could only smell it so clearly because he was beside Kaname. If this actually worked, then no one would be the wiser about anything that happened afterwards. If it didn't... well, they wouldn't be any worse off than they had been before, and Kaname was just going to have to put up with walking around smelling like the vampire equivalent of a freshly baked cinnamon bun – tempting and irresistible – for a little while.

Forcing more control than he felt he had, Zero quickly pricked himself as well and also contributed to the blood on the bracelets. The two vampires looked at each other awkwardly, both hesitating to say the invoking word. It felt so darn stupid and childish for some reason, like kids hiding in a clubhouse performing made up rites and whispering magic words. For half a moment, as their eyes met and they saw the same thoughts and hesitation on the other's face, the pair almost laughed. It seemed to relieve the tension in the limo a little.

"Gan," Kaname said firmly, smiling despite himself as he took the bracelet he'd selected, held it in his fist for a moment to seal the charm and then fastened it around his right wrist.

Zero followed suit, but his hands were starting to tremble from the blood lust still curling ruthlessly through him and he couldn't do the clasp one-handed. He cursed softly as he dropped the small chain, but Kaname caught it before it hit the seat and he took Zero's hand, turning it over and quietly fastening the bracelet around his wrist for him.

The pureblood's fingers were warm on his wrist as they slid lightly across his skin... Zero couldn't wait any longer. He leaned over and shoved Kaname's collar hastily out of the way, latching his mouth onto Kaname's neck and teasing softly with his tongue before he bit down and started to draw hungrily.

Kaname let his breath out in a short exhalation of air, his head tipping back against the seat as his body tingled and throbbed warmly in response to the feeling of Zero's teeth in his neck. It was good... so good... and Zero had apparently learned enough to know how to be careful when he wanted to be, managing to keep any of the blood from spilling too far down the pureblood's shoulder or getting on his shirt.

Kaname's fingers tangled loosely in Zero's hair as he tried to keep his breathing steady around the thrum of his racing heart.

Zero's senses were filled with Kaname's scent, and once Zero's head had begun to clear a little, his hunger abating as it was sated, he wondered if the charms they were wearing would actually do any good at all, although Aido _had_ said it wouldn't affect either of them.

"Think they're working?" he murmured against Kaname's neck as he licked and kissed the smooth, punctured skin when he was done, cleaning up and lathing the area until the bites had healed over. He gave his wrist a shake to indicate what he was talking about.

Kaname, feeling rather breathless at the moment, gave a small shrug as he slowly did his buttons back up and shook his head to settle his long dark hair over his collar once more. It was _his_ fingers that were trembling now, ever so slightly, although it wasn't from blood loss. "I don't know," he replied, a faint, husky rasp in his voice for half a moment before he quickly schooled it out. The limo pulled to a stop. "I guess whether or not our driver is suffering from a rabid case of blood lust will be a good indication," he added with a vague touch of amusement and Zero realized that he had barely noticed their driver was a vampire.

The man in question pulled the door open for them, but his expression was normal with no hint of the hungry euphoria that would be hedging his gaze if he had smelt the scent of Kaname's blood, even from a distance.

Kaname and Zero exchanged looks as they got out of the car and Kaname discretely pulled his shirt sleeve down over the bracelet. Zero did the same. Okay, maybe these could be useful.

\--------------------------------------

Zero unconsciously tugged at the knot of the tie he was wearing. He felt more than a little over-done in the silk lined white and silver dinner jacket with black buttons, silver tie and black pants, but the entire ensemble – courtesy of Kaname's tailor – was actually quite comfortable, at least as far as formal clothes went. Much more comfortable than his school uniform had ever been anyway. Grudgingly, Zero supposed there might be something more than gaudy vanity to having one's clothes custom fitted, but that didn't mean he didn't still feel like an over dressed interloper as he and Kaname entered the main hall of the Sato family's massive mansion.

Kaname had politely declined Diachi's invitation to be a house guest for the weekend, having already arranged a room at a nearby 5-Star hotel for Zero and him. He said he didn't want to impose, but of course he really just had no intention of trapping himself on the estate of another pureblood when he wasn't sure what their intentions were. Especially not with Zero in tow.

The estate grounds as they had arrived for the party tonight were aglow with graceful lights and the house itself was done up in even more magnificent splendor. The Satos seemed to feel that electric lights would be too gauche for the event because candles flickered everywhere, accentuating the graceful decorations and the sparkling glitter of silk, gold, silver and precious stones twinkling on the bodies and gowns of many of the guests. A small, but complete live orchestra was playing music from a dais at one end of the massive party hall.

As the doorman announced them to the room upon their entry, Zero couldn't help noting that when it came to formal fashions, vampire tastes seem to have fixated somewhere around the 19th century, favoring a markedly European flair. Many of the outfits he was seeing, although made by prestigious

designers such as Armani, Gucci and Prada, were fashioned at least somewhat reminiscent of that era. But there was also great diversity. Modern evening dresses mingled with kimonos and flowing ball gowns that would not have looked out of place in some long-dead King's court. Zero suddenly wondered if some of these were actually originals, and had in fact been worn to royal events hundreds of years ago.

Okay, maybe he wasn't overdressed after all. Zero stole a sidelong glance at Kaname. The pureblood looked fantastic in his black suit, white shirt and black bowtie. The suit coat was short in the front and long in the back. A silk sash at the waist, the long ends dangling invitingly along the side of his left thigh, lightly conjured the idea of another era, but one that made the pale pureblood look very regal and appealing. Zero had to admit that, even though he didn't want to. It was a little ironic that they were once more dressed in opposing colors, but Kaname had chosen to dress _him_ in white this time.

Kaname caught Zero looking his direction and gave him a small smile which caused Zero to quickly look away. Truth was, Kaname had dressed him in white and silver because it set off his hair and his eyes so nicely... just like the graceful, tailored lines of the suit coat complimented the strong yet slim composition of the hunter's body... the only downside was that Kaname was finding the delightful picture incredibly distracting. Focus. He had a purpose here tonight. _Focus... _

Kaname let his gaze scan the room as he made his way slowly through the milling guests, exchanging polite, meaningless pleasantries and greetings. For a moment a vague unease fingered through him as he caught the gazes of several other guests following, not him, but Zero. The silver haired hunter was silently trailing along in Kaname's wake, looking somewhat sullen and distinctly put out about being dragged through the middle of the melee. It wasn't his expression that was catching the other vampires' attention though. It was his presence. Several gazes lingered on Zero, as if sizing him up and finding that the eye did not go wanting, before they turned with polite, hopeful inquisitiveness towards Kaname.

Zero was not unaware of the occasional glances being darted his way. At first he figured they were wondering who had let the riff-raff in, as he was probably the only person lower than a noble and worth less than a million dollars present. But oddly, these vampires weren't looking at him like they resented his presence, which he had more than expected. Instead, there was a strange, almost eager intentness to the curious glances being shot his way. Zero didn't particularly like it; the truth was it was downright creepy.

Kaname's expression didn't change, but inwardly he frowned. It wasn't that he hadn't expected the silent question being posed him by those curious glances. You couldn't show up at a party like this with an ex-human in tow and _not_ expect them, but that didn't mean he had to like having people look at Zero that way. A fierce protectiveness rose in his chest and he calmly reached back and caught Zero's arm, linking it casually with his own. His body language and expression sent a clear message of unequivocal possession and the curious looks turned mildly disappointed before quickly losing interest.

Zero was startled by Kaname suddenly taking his arm and he colored a little, despite himself. He got the possessiveness loud and clear, if not the reason for it. He tried to jerk his arm back, but Kaname clamped his arm hard to his side, trapping the hunter's in place without visible outward effort.

Kaname could feel that Zero was going to start struggling though and quickly guided them away from the throngs of politely chatting vampires. "Come, Zero, let's go get a drink..." Kaname murmured in a carefully bored tone as he navigated them towards the buffet tables, Zero's arm still trapped in his.

As soon as they reached the long, bounty-laden refreshment tables, Kaname released the hunter and Zero jerked back a few paces like someone who had been forced to kiss a poisonous snake. He shot Kaname a glare, rubbing his now numb fingers.

Kaname was actually mildly amused as he looked over the beverage choices. At least having Zero along saved him from a long, dull evening surrounded by snobs and sycophants. Somehow Kaname didn't think he was going to have the chance to be bored at this rate.

"Don't do that again!" Zero hissed quietly, at least having the sense to keep his voice down low enough that only his companion would hear him.

Kaname ignored him as he considered which of the drinks on offer would be best suited for Zero. Due to their altered biology, vampires were not much affected by most normal human intoxicants and alcohols, although several served quite nicely with a few extra modifications. They had their own types of drinks though, many of which would have been outright poison to humans, but which could spin the head of even a pureblood if he imbibed unwisely. Kaname doubted Zero had ever had vampire liquors before, and this was not a safe place for the hunter to test his untried tolerance for them. But Kaname wasn't about to insult Zero by giving him the kiddie punch either. Actually, Zero probably wouldn't have noticed or known the difference, but the other vampires would. They would be amused and think Kaname was slighting him, treating him like a child.

Kaname's lack of attention irritated Zero all the more. "Are you listening to me? Act like I'm your... your _date _again and I'll shoot you," he muttered, still flushed in embarrassment at being paraded around like Kaname's latest acquisition. He already knew what Seiji thought of him, thanks to the way he'd walked in on them not that long ago. If he'd passed that notion on to his family or any of the others here... Zero grimaced, stubbornly fighting a losing battle with his hot, tingling cheeks. He couldn't remember how on earth he'd let Kaname talk him into coming.

Kaname selected a glass of deep red liquid and turned a small, amused smile on Zero. "Your gun is back at the hotel, Zero. And don't worry, no one here will mistake you for my date," he said dryly, and Zero got the distinct impression that was a jibe. "I wouldn't be making those threats too loudly though. You are not among people who know you. Those here will not understand nor take your words lightly. Here, try this," he murmured pleasantly as he handed Zero the glass of blood wine. It was one of the more mild offerings as far as the drinks went, although it was a ridiculously ancient vintage. Naturally, the Satos only served the best.

Kaname selected a much stronger drink for himself, still ignoring Zero's glare. He lightly cupped the bubble-bottomed glass of absinthe in one hand, fixing the spoon and sugar over the top with practiced ease before using one of the iced water spigots nearby to louche the drink to his taste. Zero had thought that the snaking, curling silver vines were part of the table's centerpiece until he saw Kaname get water from one of the spigots concealed in the silver branches. He couldn't help watching with a bit of interest as the honey-green liquid in the pureblood's cup slowly turned a cloudy milky white.

Still nearly 100 proof even diluted, the absinthe was also of the highest quality and Kaname savored the tang of the wormwood and the sweet bite of the anise flavored aftertaste as he took a sip. It was his favorite, but he wasn't about to offer Zero any just yet. Absinthe was a much more potent alcohol to vampires than it was to humans. He still remembered his first time imbibing this particular vice. It had not gone well, but that hadn't exactly been his fault. Old Ichijo had let him get hopped up on the stuff when he was far too young to be drinking something so potent. Of course, the dangerous letch had probably been hoping the young pureblood would get drunk enough to let the older vampire do some drinking of a different kind. No such luck for him.

Kaname's gaze flickered across the room again for a moment. It was a good reminder that despite the glamorous, affluent face of things, one could never afford to forget that danger, deceit and betrayal never lurked far below the swirling glitter.

Zero was having similar thoughts, if the wary look on his face was anything to go by as his gaze strayed towards the other vampires before returning to Kaname. It was obvious that being around this many strange vampires wasn't exactly his idea of a good time. But then, it wasn't Kaname's either.

Kaname resisted a smirk. Misery loved company, they said, maybe that was why he'd really wanted to bring Zero along...

Zero was distracted and irritated enough that he took a sip of the drink Kaname had given him without really paying much attention to what it was first, except that it looked like wine. The rich, full blossom taste of dry red wine, laced with the strong, sharp, coppery tang of blood that was familiar and yet foreign flooded Zero's mouth and senses. The distinct similarity that the drink had to blood almost made him spit it back into his glass in shock, although definitely not because it didn't taste good. It did, but in a strong, strange way.

Zero choked and swallowed quickly, shooting a swift glance towards Kaname to find the pureblood looking at him with that damned quietly amused look of his that made Zero feel like he was a somewhat slow child, or a freshman at his first school dance.

"What the hell is this?" Zero demanded quietly, looking at the crimson liquid warily now.

Kaname managed not to laugh. He wanted to though. Zero was precious. "It's just blood wine, Zero. It won't hurt you. Unless you drink too much of it, of course."

"_Blood _wine?" Zero queried accusingly. "Literally, or figuratively?"

"Literally. You think a vampire's going to call something blood if it isn't? Even our Bloody Mary's have..." the look on Zero's face said he thought Kaname had given him poison and Kaname cut his explanation short. "Just _drink _it, Zero. If you're worried about wherever it came from, don't. This wine was probably bottled around two thousand years ago, so it's a bit of a moot point by now."

This thought simply gave Zero pause for a different reason and he sniffed the glass slightly, reluctant at the thought of drinking something _that _old.

Unable to hide his smile anymore, Kaname gave up and looked away. "Okay, if you're _afraid_, don't drink it then. I can get you some of the kiddie punch, would you like that better?" he inquired with mild exasperation.

Zero didn't dignify that with an answer, a familiar stubborn set coming over his features as he silently took a deep swill of the strange alcohol. It was disturbingly good, actually, so it wasn't like he had to force himself to drink it. It was just... the idea of it.

Kaname, who had more or less known Zero would react that way, took another sip of his own drink as well, letting his gaze scan the party floor again with a small bit of satisfaction.

Zero swirled the dregs of the wine in his glass, wondering for a moment how on earth they fermented blood with wine without it spoiling. There must be some kind of processing done to it, because despite the initial similarity, it wasn't really quite like blood at all the more he drank. No more than wine was quite like grapes. He considered asking Kaname how it was done, but didn't feel like letting himself in for any more patronizing remarks from the pureblood, so he decided he didn't really care.

Across the room, Zero saw someone semi-familiar and tensed for a moment, but then he realized it wasn't Seiji, although the family resemblance was clear. The man was definitely a pureblood. The poise he carried himself with as he moved among his guests reminded Zero a little more of Kaname than Seiji had, but despite his perpetually youthful looks, this other vampire seemed somehow older than either Seiji or Kaname.

Zero guessed correctly that that was probably Diachi Sato. The beautiful woman by his side, although looking young enough to be his wife, was in fact his mother, which you could only tell by the quietly regal but maternal way she looked at him.

Kaname had seen them too, because Zero heard him shift. Diachi was scanning the crowd and his gaze landed on Kuran. He gave a small, polite smile, holding the eye contact. He would not disrespect Kaname by motioning for him to come over, but the silent look was a clear invitation. Kaname took another sip of his drink and stepped away from the table. He glanced towards Zero with a slight quirk of his lips. "I have to go, try to stay out of trouble, all right? And go easy on that stuff," he nodded towards the already almost empty glass in Zero's hand before he disappeared into the swirling crowd to join Diachi. They had business to discuss.

Zero snorted at Kaname's admonishment, finishing the last of his wine and setting aside the glass as he watched the pureblood disappear. He would not admit to feeling either nervous or out of place alone in the middle of this gathering. No. He would not. Very content to stay as far on the fringes as he could get, Zero got one of the small plates nearby and tried some of the different delicacies from the buffet. At least, those that he recognized. Given where he was, he wasn't about to try anything that didn't look something like normal food. The food was actually very good, but some of it made him thirsty. Not sure what was safe to drink and what wasn't, Zero went for another glass of the wine that Kaname had given him before.

He was pleased to note that everyone was pretty much ignoring him. There wasn't any acrimony about it; they simply didn't seem to see him. He might as well have been a fixture on the table or a coat rack. This peace was disturbed however when a couple of smiling, bubbling young girls came up to him. He would have put them at around 12 and 14 respectively, but with vampire ages, he had no idea.

"You came with Kuran-sama, didn't you?" the slightly older one asked shyly.

Zero looked at her and after a moment simply nodded. "Yes."

The girls seemed excited at the confirmation, elbowing each other with delighted grins. "Is it true he doesn't drink blood... like, not at all?" the younger one asked.

Zero downed the rest of his wine and looked around for an exit, but there wasn't one readily available. "Yes," he replied monosyllabically again. Okay, that wasn't actually true, Kaname drank _his _blood, but he wasn't about to go into that. He was giving the pair his best _go away _glare, but they seemed significantly more immune to it than the girls back at Cross Academy were. Of course, their being highblood vampires probably had something to do with it.

The girls, likely either cousins or sisters given their resemblance, looked at each other and giggled. "I _told _you, Kia!" the younger one said triumphantly. "He's like a... a vegetarian. Isn't that dreamy?"

"I would think it would be rather awful..." the older girl said seriously. "But still..." her gaze said she probably thought anything a handsome, older pureblood did could probably be dreamy. Her gaze re-fixed on Zero. "What's he like? Do you know him really well?"

"Does he have a girlfriend?" the younger one piped up again.

Zero reached for another glass of wine. _Save me... _this was going to be a long evening.

Kia and Ami Suzuki turned out to be surprisingly friendly, if a bit condescending and nerve-gratingly... _girlish. _Zero got the impression they were a) bored to death with the very adult party and b) pretty comfortable talking to him because he was apparently more approachable than many of the other adults. They obviously perceived him as something akin to the serving staff, but better because he wasn't busy and he knew Kaname. By the time his two new little friends got tired of chewing Zero's ear off with questions and disappeared back into the swirl of the party, the hunter had worked his way through his third glass of wine and had a pretty decent buzz going.

_Whoa... better take it easy... _he cautioned himself. The effects of the wine had snuck up on him, and the last thing he wanted to do was seriously hamper his reaction times in this kind of a setting. Besides, he was _not_ going to give Kaname a reason to start smirking at him again.

Zero resisted the urge to fan himself, feeling a bit warm as his gaze wandered the room in search of Kaname. The pureblood had been gone a pretty long time. When Zero spotted him, Kaname was no longer talking with Diachi, but with someone else whom Zero didn't recognize. The hunter was well aware everyone and their second cousin was probably going to want to talk to Kaname, since he apparently very rarely attended social events, so no doubt Zero would be on his own for a while yet. Maybe he would slip outside for a little air... Maybe he could conveniently not come back and no one would miss him...

A commotion at the nearby entry to the party hall drew Zero's attention, however. The talk had grown louder and several people were detaching themselves from conversations to head in this direction. Zero looked towards the source of the shift and saw someone he could have happily spent his evening without seeing.

Seiji Sato had arrived at the party. He was fashionably late, dressed to the hilt and tailed unobtrusively by two other vampires who did not follow him into the room, but remained standing quietly near the entry. Seiji grinned at the warm welcome offered by his family's guests, returning greetings and flirting charmingly with a couple of the ladies that flocked to his side. After a few moments he clapped his hands, a summoning gesture, and the two vampires who had followed him into the room detached from their position by the wall and came obediently forward.

The young man who came forward was tall and dark haired, while the girl was a petite blond. Both wore a curiously out of place shawl wrapped around their shoulders, both were exceptionally easy on the eyes and looked in their late teens, although they could have been older. Zero could now tell that they were both ex-humans. The aura that registered on his hunter senses was a pale brown color. Given the blank looks of single minded devotion that they fixed on Seiji, he was obviously the one who had changed them, their _master_. Zero felt a little sick and found an excuse to look away.

On the other side of the room, Kaname tensed, gaze shooting over towards Seiji and then immediately searching the crowd for a familiar shock of silver hair. He disengaged himself from his conversation. _Seiji you freaking idiot... don't do this... not in front of Zero..._

"I come bearing gifts," Seiji told the others merrily, with the benevolent air of one who had brought an ostentatiously generous treat to share. An appreciative, eager murmur rippled around the room and the excitement in the air became almost palpable. More people were crowding forward. They all knew what he meant. Seiji had a reputation for adding a lot of spice to the Sato parties. His brother, although more reserved, generally had no objections as long as the guests were happy.

Kaname appeared suddenly by Zero's elbow, catching hold of it and drawing him back. "Zero, I want you to leave, _now_," he whispered quietly but commandingly in the hunter's ear.

Zero was a bit surprised at this and even more so at the tenseness he could read in Kaname's form. It wasn't fear, but definitely... concern? The hair on the back of his neck prickled sharply. What was going on? Zero dug his heels in to keep Kaname from continuing to pull him along. "Kaname, cut it out, what's wrong?"

"Don't ask questions. You hate the party anyway, don't you? Go find our driver and go back to the hotel, I'll be there later," Kaname said quickly, but Zero wasn't buying. One thing the brilliant pureblood had never seemed to get through his head was that the surest way to get Zero to balk was when Kaname started ordering him around without an explanation.

"Kaname... what-?"

Kaname's grip on Zero's elbow tightened, but it was too late, Seiji was speaking again and the situation was already beginning to unfold.


	11. Darkly Fading

**Chapter Eleven: "Darkly Fading"**

"His and hers, pick your pleasure ladies and gents." Seiji's voice drew Zero's gaze back in his direction again. As if on cue, the two ex-human dropped the shawls they were wearing, revealing that both of them had necks and shoulders completely bare. The boy wore no shirt, the girl wore a tight, strapless bodice. From the looks being laid on them, they might as well have not been wearing anything.

"Unlike _some, _I believe in sharing the wealth..." Seiji said with a deceptively charming smile, shooting a pointed look directly towards where Kaname was standing, one hand still gripping Zero's elbow tightly.

Zero felt a funny little drop in his stomach as the fact that he was the only ex-human here, besides the two that Seiji had brought, really hit home. He was so used to being the minority at the Academy, with all the nobles, that he hadn't thought much of it. He was used to being looked down on and ignored too, but those odd, almost hopeful looks that several of the nobles at the party had been directing at he and Kaname earlier suddenly made a sickening kind of sense. They all assumed he was Kaname's courtesan, and they were waiting to see if the pureblood was going to share him, or if he was private stock.

_Kaname had known, he had to have._ _He'd known exactly what they were thinking and he'd worn Zero on his arm like a goddamn status symbol._ Zero's face flushed hotly in pained humiliation and his heart started racing in a fear he couldn't control, spurred by the intense, palpable thrum of eager, hungry vampire vibes that he could feel swelling all around him, causing warning bells to screech like klaxons in his hunter senses. He'd grown complacent, having been around vampires so much. How had he let himself be put in a position where he was in a room full of nobles and purebloods without weapons or any way to defend himself, let alone anyone else?

In a matter of moments, one of the regally dressed party guests had latched onto the girl's neck, pulling her to him, and another had taken the boy in similar fashion. The scent of blood blossomed heavy in the air. Rich, coppery, sweet... cloying...

Zero started forward on instinct, without conscious thought. Someone had to stop this!

Strong arms grabbed him and held him back, curling around his chest and pinning his arms. Kaname quickly hauled Zero in against him, holding the boy's back tight to his chest in an iron grip. "_No!_ Zero..." he hissed urgently in the hunter's ear as Zero started to fight him.

Rather than act distressed or frightened, as one might have expected, the ex-humans seemed to know exactly what was coming and they groaned in delight, panting excitedly as they were bled a little and then handed off to a new partner who eagerly sank their teeth home into the already punctured necks.

Whether it was the wine Zero had drunk or the simply the shock of what he was seeing, it felt like time had slowed down, sound becoming muted and distorted like his heart pounding in his ears. Zero watched in horror as the boy and the girl were passed around from vampire to vampire, glassy eyed, eager to please, practically crawling into their arms, begging to be bled and gasping with pleasure as different sets of ivory teeth pierced their skin again and again, gaining them long track lines of puncture marks along their necks and shoulders. The hunter wasn't sure which horrified him more – the way the vampires were using the two ex-humans like some kind of blood-prostitute party favors or how deeply the two enslaved vampires seemed to be enjoying the experience. None of the guests were drinking very deeply, that would have ended the fun too soon and been a breach of etiquette in a situation like this. It was about the indulgent pleasure of the act, as much as the sweet taste of the blood itself.

Zero realized that he was being dragged backwards. It was Kaname, trying to pull him away from what was happening. Feeling more than a little panicked at being restrained right now, Zero lashed backwards with his elbow, nailing Kaname hard in the ribs. Kaname's breath escaped in a soft, pained wince, but his strong self-control came in handy and he managed to give no real outward sign that he had been hurt. One outburst from Zero in front of this crowd, already stirred up into a blood frenzy, and things would get complicated, _quick_. The phrase _going to hell in a hand basket _came to mind. Fortunately, the other vampires were all far too fixated on the current bloodletting to be paying much of any attention to him and Zero.

"Kaname, let me go!" Zero protested in a sick, urgent whisper. "We've got to..."

"You can't help them, Zero!" Kaname hissed softly in his ear as he continued to drag the unwilling hunter away with him towards the thinning fringes of the crowd. "_Look _at them..." Kaname's low voice wasn't quite anguished, but it wasn't very happy either. He held Zero still for a moment so the hunter could get another good glimpse of the two ex-humans, eyes glazed in delight as they were groped and fondled and fed upon. The girl was all but wrapped around one of the older men, her knee hugging his hip suggestively. The boy... Zero felt sick. The boy was bending so that young Kia Suzuki could reach his neck, her small fingers wound almost shyly in his hair as she pulled him close and slid her petite fangs into his skin, a startling contrast of innocence and perversion.

Zero couldn't breathe. The horror of what he was seeing, the welcoming smell of blood, and the intense, almost unbearable sea of stirred up vampire pheromones swirling around him, compounded with the alcohol in his system made him feel like he was caught in a spinning maelstrom... drowning... he started hyperventilating without realizing it. Kaname's voice, still close by his ear, both grounded the hunter a little and sent horrified shivers crawling through him at the same time.

"They don't _want_ to be saved, Zero. You pull them away, and _you're _the one they'll hate as the enemy. Soon as they can, they'll just run right back to Seiji. He's bound them to his will, they can't live without him," the pureblood murmured softly. Zero was having a near panic attack in his arms; he had to get him out of here quickly.

Numb, Zero's struggles slowly ceased and he allowed Kaname to quickly pull him along towards the patio doors at the rear of the hall. Once he stopped struggling, Kaname eased and shifted his hold, taking Zero by the elbow instead as he quickly led him out of the house. The few people who noticed their passing smirked and tossed Kaname knowing looks. It was obvious they thought that the bloodletting had stirred him up and he was going to find a little private action with his 'D. Even though that was the safest thing to let them assume, Kaname's gaze was withering hot if anyone dared catch his eyes. He _hated _them thinking that way about Zero. That Zero was to him _anything _like those poor, mindless pawns were to Seiji. Even if he _had_ bound Zero to him in that fashion, he would _never _have suffered him to be treated like that.

Kaname dragged Zero outside. The air felt cool on his skin and Zero felt dizzy and sick all at the same time as he stumbled along. The music, the voices and the smell of blood faded as Kaname and Zero left the patio behind, delving deeper into the gardens until they were alone in an un-trafficked area of the grounds where the gardens met up with the side of the house. Kaname pushed Zero back against the brick wall and let him lean there. Zero shoved the pureblood's hands away from him and Kaname backed off a pace, looking away.

"I didn't want you to see that. You should have left when I told you to," Kaname said quietly, still looking over Zero's shoulder and not at him. He could smell Zero's fear and disgust. The emotion was so strong from the hunter that it echoed in his own senses through their bond, almost giving the pureblood a headache. Kaname wanted to wring Seiji's neck. Certainly, it was his family's party and he could do what he wanted... but there were some aspects of vampire life and culture that Kaname had _not _particularly wanted to introduce to Zero. This was definitely one of them. He hadn't thought Seiji would do that at a party his mother was attending, as she had used to frown on him for those kind of extravagances, but apparently she had given up trying to control her younger son... or else Seiji just didn't care anymore. Kaname ran his hand through his hair, disturbed by Zero's obvious distress and frustrated that he had miscalculated.

Zero was having a hard time getting his heart to slow down. The alcohol he'd consumed was working against him and it was a dozen times harder than it should have been to get control of himself and calm the raging revulsion and panic he was feeling. Zero shook his head slowly.

"Are they going to kill them?" he rasped quietly, not sure if he wanted to know the answer. Not sure which way he hoped the answer would be. To live... like that... death might just be mercy.

Kaname shook his head, his gaze finally sliding back to Zero. The fear and disgust in Zero's eyes as they met his twisted something sharp and surprisingly painful inside Kaname's chest. "No. They will bleed them until it is no longer safe to do so, then they will be sent off to rest," the pureblood replied quietly, his voice soft but even. It was no use trying to whitewash the situation when Zero had already seen it for himself.

Zero was a little disturbed that Kaname seemed so familiar with how this worked. "_Rest? _After being drained like that? They'll be starving! They'll attack the first thing they see..." Zero murmured incredulously, still a little dazed although slowly regaining himself now. He didn't care what Kaname said, this was wrong... there had to be something he could do for those people...

"No, they won't," Kaname said with a soft sigh. The look in Zero's eyes told him he was going to have to explain in order to keep him from doing anything foolish, and Kaname didn't really want to explain about this. "If Seiji tells them they are not hungry, they will not be hungry. It doesn't matter what their bodies are telling them, he controls their minds. If he tells them to go rest, they will go and fall asleep as soon as they lay down. They will probably stay down until their bodies have recovered, unless he intends to let them feed on some of his other ex-humans later. I told you, Seiji is their life, literally and figuratively. It's not just that he turned them, he also bound them to his will. That's... different. Whoever, or whatever they were before has ceased to exist. They do not miss their former lives, they have no memory of them. They have no will or desires of their own, they only feel and desire what their master wishes. His will is their will. You take them away from him and if they cannot get back, they will go mad and die."

Zero's eyes were wide with horror in the moonlight. "That's... that's horrible." It seemed like such an understatement in his own ears.

Something flickered in Kaname's dark eyes. "It... can be. Especially with a cruel or thoughtless master. If they really want to be spiteful, then they don't wipe their thrall's memories and bind only their bodies and wills. _That _would be a horrible existence," Kaname said softly, a faint note of deep revulsion echoing in his tone. If Shizuka had gotten her way at the Academy a while back, that was the manner in which she would have bound both Zero and Yuki to ensure their full future obedience, Kaname knew. She might have wiped Yuki's memory, because she wanted the girl to be her assassin and it would have made her a more effective weapon, but she'd already shown that she liked to observe Zero's torment and hatred too much to make him a clean slate. Kaname was tempted to say this, but he didn't. The current situation was unpleasant enough without bringing up the past.

"But it doesn't have to be that way. And even those poor souls in there... they know no pain. In a way it's very pleasant for them. Seiji has the power to make them happy, to let them live in a state of contentment where nothing can ever hurt them." Kaname had never really approved of the practice of binding others to your will in that way, but he could actually understand the draw now, a little. Looking at Zero... thinking of the deadness that was too often in his eyes, the pain, the self-hatred that would slowly physically and mentally destroy him... it frustrated Kaname deeply that he couldn't do anything but watch Zero suffer... he would do so much to take his pain away.

Of course, that's not why Seiji and the others did what they did. Kaname was well aware it was all about self gratification, and if he had respected Seiji at all, he would have lost it after this. Not much there to lose, however. He already knew about this side of the other pureblood.

Zero couldn't believe that Kaname was talking so calmly about something so hideously unspeakable. Acting like on some level it was _okay. _There was _nothing_ okay about _any_ of this.

"Nothing _hurt _them? You're basically saying they've been mentally raped and brainwashed until they don't even know who they are, how does that not qualify as _hurting _them?" Zero was furious. "How can you condone something like that?"

Kaname's jaw set. "I didn't say I approved of what Seiji is doing. He's an ass who uses people like tissue paper for no greater good than his own satisfaction and desires. I _said _I was sorry you had to see that, Zero. What else do you want me to say?"

Zero looked at Kaname levelly. "If I had gone back to the hotel... would you have partaken in... that?"

Kaname looked away again, and Zero didn't like that. It was rare that Kaname wouldn't hold his gaze. "No," the pureblood said quietly, and Zero somehow knew he wasn't lying. But there was something...

Zero blinked as his thoughts shifted another direction. "Have you before?" he almost whispered.

Kaname stared out at the darkened tree line across the lawn and didn't answer for a long moment. "Would it matter if I had?" he said quietly, voice soft but carefully devoid of emotion.

Zero knew that was an answer in itself and he felt a funny twist in his gut that he wasn't sure how to name. "Maybe," he admitted slowly, unable to let it go. "Did you?"

Kaname sighed ever so softly and drew his gaze back to Zero, eyes meeting his once more. "Yes," he said simply. His tone held no shame, but there was a faint flicker of regret in the dark brown eyes. Zero wasn't sure if it was regret over the past, or regret that Zero had to know about it.

"Asato Ichijo threw many parties and soirees while I was a ward under his roof after my parents' death," the pureblood explained quietly. "Many of which I was obligated to attend. People often wanted to give me extravagant gifts to curry favor. Except at need, I would not take from someone unwilling; I was not raised that way. But having a pureblood drink from you is an honor, and it did not seem to me that there was anything wrong if the other vampire wanted it..." Kaname knew he should not be telling Zero all this. It was obvious from the sick look in Zero's eyes that Zero considered nothing about this situation or any past situations right or normal. But Kaname had been raised differently, and he didn't know how to ever explain or justify that to Zero. It hurt and frustrated him that he even had to try.

His parents had been pacifists, but they had still needed to drink blood, and so had Kaname. Haruka and Juuri had provided him with fresh blood sources when he needed them, and taught him how to humanely acquire his own. They hadn't had any options, there were no such things as blood tablets back in those days.

Old Ichijo though, had been much more of a traditionalist, and it was only when a young Kaname had gone white after seeing him casually finish off a 'meal' and dispose of the body, that the elder vampire had refrained from any outright blood slaughter in the household, at least whenever Kaname was present, although Kaname knew he had continued to practice in private. It was ironic actually... that gentle, sweet Takuma had been raised in that manner, and taught to think nothing of his family's feeding practices until Kaname had come to live with them. Kaname could still remember his friend's wide, innocent, worried eyes when Kaname floated the apparently unimagined idea that the humans he fed from might actually feel pain during the process. They had both been so young back then...

In that environment though, it had hardly seemed wrong to Kaname when _willing_ ex-humans belonging to others offered their necks to him for nourishment and pleasure. Yes... part of him had known that they were only willing because they had been made that way, because they had been bound and their own wills and personalities stripped away from them so all that was left was the joy of serving their master and the pleasure they took in being used. But... _he_ hadn't done it, he hadn't taken those things from them, and it wouldn't have made their lives any better if he _hadn't _drunk from them. In fact, they would probably have been punished for failing to please him. Some things were just facts. They weren't pretty, but it was the way things were.

In the human world, many people knew that the methods used to obtain foie gras, an expensive duck liver delicacy, were unspeakably cruel and inhumane to the ducks in question, and yet many indulged in it all the same without feeling any sense of guilt or culpability towards the abused and slaughtered ducks. That was very little different from most vampires' points of view when it came to humans and ex-humans.

Kaname didn't think that Zero would ever understand that though. He didn't know why he hadn't just lied to him, except that that would have been worse, especially when the truth would be readily available if Zero asked anyone else who had known him long enough.

"There _were_ no blood tablets back then, Zero," Kaname fixed him with an intent look. "I and the rest of the Night Class are responsible for those. We invented, tested and patented them at Cross Academy. I have been on them almost as long as you have _really _known me... but what do you _think _I did before then? What recourse do you think we had? The options, when there _were _options, were to take from those who were willing, or to take from those who weren't. You tell me, which would you have had me choose? Your blood lust did not take you until you were a teenager, Zero, until you were mentally capable of making moral judgments about the rightness or wrongness of it according to the society in which you had been raised. I have needed blood since I was three years old." Kaname's eyes bored into Zero with an almost anguished earnestness. He truly wished Zero could understand him. There was this stupid little part of his heart that craved acceptance.

"Did you agonize about the cows that your hamburgers came from when you were _three, _Zero? Did it _bother _you that you were in essence eating unfertilized baby birds every time you had an omelet? Did you even _realize _that's what those things were, much less that something, be it animal or plant, had to die or sacrifice in order to nourish you?" Kaname really didn't know what Zero thought he could have done. As a pureblood, his options were ironically limited. Unless he killed them, Kaname couldn't drink from humans without changing them, without creating ex-humans, which he believed was wrong. If he didn't drink from other vampires... how was he supposed to have survived?

Zero blinked, still a little dizzy and trying to absorb everything Kaname was saying. He was so upset right now... he didn't want to hear the purebloods excuses and justifications. Yet at the same time, Kaname was much too skilled. Zero didn't know how to refute what he was saying, didn't know how to fight that cold, damnable logic. When the pureblood put it like that... it almost made a sickening kind of sense. And Zero did _not _want it to make sense.

Zero pushed away from the wall, looking away as he crossed his arms over his chest, almost pulling into himself in a closed posture. "You can't make that comparison. People aren't animals," he said quietly through his teeth.

"No," Kaname said softly in the darkness. "Yet you think we are."

"Kuran-sama, are you out here?" a calm, polite voice called from the direction of the veranda. It was Diachi. Doubtless, the other party guests had told him where they'd seen Kaname heading.

Kaname stiffened slightly. Damn... he wanted a few more minutes... "I have to go back," he said quietly to Zero. He didn't want to take Zero back into that room, but his dealings with Diachi were not concluded yet.

"Right, your _business_, of course..." Zero said with a clear thread of contempt. He felt calmer now, more back in control of himself, although the confused, sick feeling in the pit of his stomach remained.

"Yes. Business." Kaname's tone had turned cold. Zero didn't know what that business was about, and he wasn't about to tell him at this point. "You can go back to the hotel."

Kaname turned and started to walk away, but Zero scowled and started stubbornly after him. The tone in Kaname's voice had been a flat dismissal, hinting that the pureblood apparently thought he wanted to _run away. _Well, to hell with that. Zero wasn't going to run off like some frightened kid, nor was he going to leave Kaname with no one watching his back in this mad house... although that last thought wasn't one he'd admit to at the moment.

"I'll stay, _thanks_," he muttered darkly.

Kaname was actually quite surprised, but he simply nodded. "Suit yourself. But don't drink anymore; I don't want to have to carry you out of here."

Zero gave Kaname a dark look that dared him to just _try _it and see what kind of a scene he could make. Then they were emerging from the garden and Zero had the sense to school his features to a blank, if still dark, state of neutrality as they found Diachi waiting on the patio.

"You have lovely gardens, Diachi, my compliments to your grounds keepers," Kaname said smoothly.

\--------------------------------------

Kaname's business with Diachi went well and they formed the tentative basis for future dealings between their holdings. Diachi got the business connections he wanted, and Kaname got access to the resources and knowledgebase of Diachi's pharmaceutical enterprises to help him in his quest for answers. It was about the _only _part of the evening that went well.

Seeing Kaname distracted in private conference with his brother, Seiji had made directly for Zero with an annoying, knowing swagger, looking with smarmy interest for bite marks on the ex-human's neck. Not finding any, he made indelicate and amusing suppositions about other ways that Zero could have serviced Kaname in so short a time, drawing a few chuckles from others nearby. He knew better than to touch Zero, or act in any way that could be considered infringing upon or threatening Kaname's property, but by the time he was done verbally humiliating him, it was all Zero could do to resist the overpowering urge to stake the son of a bitch with one of the long, shish kabob serving skewers from the buffet table. He doubted even Kaname could protect him if he attacked a pureblood in their own home, but Seiji was almost making it worth the consequences. Zero was all too conscious of the way people were looking at him now, and Seiji made it a million times worse. His face was so hot it hurt and his heart burned in anger and shame.

Zero was also too conscious of the scent of blood still lingering in the air, making his chest throb despite having recently fed. It made him sick that he reacted to that smell, just like the rest of these creatures. More blood wine had dulled that craving. It couldn't dull his burning mortification, but it gave him something else to think about, and the fact that Kaname had told him to stay away from it just made it more attractive at that point. Right then, Zero had hated every blood sucking bastard in the building. Including Kaname. Including himself.

By the time they left the party, Zero had moved past significantly buzzed to actually drunk. He wasn't _seriously_ wasted; he still had fairly decent control of his motor skills and mental faculties, but he definitely wasn't sober either.

Kaname's jaw was set as he swiped his keycard in the hotel room lock, admitting he and Zero back into their suite. Zero didn't follow him inside immediately though. He was looking around the hall like something might catch his attention and wander him off. Kaname grabbed his wrist with a resigned look and tugged to get the hunter to follow him into their hotel room. He was finding that a drunk Zero was a very easily distracted Zero.

The pureblood let the door shut behind them. He supposed couldn't really blame Zero for getting like this. Kaname's eyes glinted darkly as he flicked on the light and remembered the awful feeling of helplessness he'd gotten when he looked up from where he'd been seated in intense discussion with Diachi only to see that Seiji and several of his cronies had corned Zero near the far wall. He knew Zero was physically in no danger, but the hunter's face was scarlet and his body language screamed anger and misery. Kaname hadn't heard what Seiji had said but he didn't have to; it had been written perfectly clear on Zero's face.

Kaname had broken that up quickly, cutting the evening short and leaving with Zero, but the damage had already been done. He had really wanted to kill Seiji then. Truly. If there ever came a time and a place where it would service more than just his own desire, he would, too. And he would enjoy it.

Kaname shrugged out of his dinner jacket, resisting the urge to drape it over the back of the nearest chair and taking the few extra steps to the closet to hang it up instead. He wished Zero would have just gone back to the hotel earlier. He hadn't meant for things to end up this way. He hadn't wanted to subject Zero to any of what he'd gone through tonight. He was bitterly frustrated with himself that he hadn't protected him better.

Zero had already shed his tie and his jacket followed quickly. He wasn't quite so picky about where he left it, and he did toss it over the back of the chair, the starched white shirt following quickly. He looked much more comfortable once he had stripped down to his undershirt although his skin was still faintly flushed, more from alcohol than anything else by now, and he rubbed his eyes because they occasionally blurred a little on him.

As Kaname undid the top couple buttons on his dress shirt, he couldn't help letting his gaze rove silently across the hunter's form and the appealing picture he made in dress pants and t-shirt, the slightly damp cotton tee hugging the slim, defined contours of his chest and abs.

Kaname quickly jerked his gaze away. _Stop it... _he told himself. Zero was definitely unlikely to be in the mood tonight after everything that had happened. Another fine reason to really hate Seiji.

Zero crossed to the nearby sink and poured himself a glass of water from the tap. He felt a little too warm and a little too giddy and he was alternately so tired he wanted to fall asleep and so energized he wanted to go jogging or something. His stomach felt strange. It was really weird. Zero had never been drunk before.

Kaname's hand on his shoulder was warm as the pureblood leaned ever so slightly against his back while Zero stood at the sink. Kaname looked at Zero in the mirror in front of them. The pureblood's hand moved from his shoulder and slid lightly down his ribs, unable to resist the temptation of feeling Zero's warm body through the cotton.

"You okay?" he inquired, and in their mutual reflections, Zero could see the small, teasing smile on the pureblood's face. Kaname couldn't help it. Yes, it had been a hell of an evening, but it _was _kind of cute, seeing Zero this wasted. Kaname was slightly buzzed himself – it tended to help the endurablility factor of long, tedious social events. But he knew better than to imbibe too much in mixed company, or when he had business which needed attending.

For a moment, Zero's ease of distraction right now played a little in Kaname's favor, because he was initially too sidetracked by the sensation to be properly irritated. _Kaname's hand trailing across his body felt so damn good..._ Presently, Zero remembered to scowl as he gave up drinking the water and splashed it on his face instead, drying off with a wash cloth. _Damn, why was it so hot in here?_

"Yeah, fine," he mumbled. His words weren't exactly slurring, but they were just a little indefinably _off. _"Listen, I need some fresh air, I'm going for a walk," he said, pulling away from Kaname and turning towards the door. He didn't particularly want to be around Kaname right now either.

Kaname caught Zero's arm, stopping him.

"I don't think that's a good idea," he said in a quiet, reasonable tone. No way was he going to let a very drunk hunter wander the streets by himself... especially when he looked so delicious. Definitely not safe. "Why don't you lie down and rest a little instead?"

Zero jerked his arm away, anger flaring hotly again. "Stop telling me what to do!" he demanded, and his words did slur just a little bit that time. "You're always... always ordering me around. Who died and made you king, anyway? _You _don't _own _me!" Zero ran a hand down his face, groping for the back of the chair with his other hand for balance. He didn't know why he needed balance, or why he misjudged where the chair back was, finding himself stumbling backwards a step. He was unsteady for only a moment though, and recovered quickly once his hand found the chair. "I'm not your _thrall_. If I wanna go out, I'm going out," he insisted stubbornly.

Across the room, the inside bolt of the door slid into place with a flick of Kaname's mind. "Zero, you're drunk," the pureblood said bluntly. "I'm not letting you out of the hotel room like this, it's not safe."

The feeling of being trapped did nothing for Zero's current state of mind and he frowned, shooting Kaname a dark look. "_Safe?_ Right, because it's so much safer in here, isn't it? I only have to worry about _one_ vampire who wants to use me like a party favor instead of dozens. That's why you really want me here, right? Nice little ex-human nightcap after a long day? You act all high and mighty, but you're just like them! You're disgusting." Zero looked away. What he had seen today had profoundly upset him, and he was just drunk enough to voice that agitation.

It was Kaname's turn to look away, hurt flickering briefly behind his eyes before he could hide it. It had been a long day and he really didn't care to be reminded of how much he and everything he was appalled Zero. He felt weary and frustrated at how things had turned out. Put simply, Kaname had screwed up, and that was a feeling he hated. He had wanted Zero's company, but he probably shouldn't have brought him. It had been counterproductive to his original aims and the hunter was simply more convinced than ever what kind of monster he was.

_Damn it, why did that hurt so much?_ Kaname turned back towards the closet, away from Zero. Zero's words angered him, but he didn't want to fight so he swallowed the urge to lash back. He just wanted to get out of these clothes and raid the mini bar for anything he could use to try and get even half as drunk as Zero was in order to forget as much as possible for a little while. It sucked that normal alcohols had so little effect on vampire metabolisms.

Zero groaned softly and shoved his fingers into his hair, holding his head. He didn't feel so good and the weird feeling in his stomach wasn't going away. "Crap..." he mumbled, not really sure why, but feeling like he'd probably just made an ass of himself somehow. Zero stepped away from the chair he was holding onto and wavered slightly, suddenly feeling like the laying down suggestion wasn't such a bad idea after all. "I don't feel good..."

Kaname's arm caught around his shoulders, steadying him, although Zero hadn't realized the pureblood had come over. He guided the hunter to the bed and helped him sit down on the edge. The pureblood's long fingers brushed softly through Zero's silver hair as he bent, crouching a little to be at eyelevel with the ex-human.

"Get some rest, Zero," Kaname said quietly. "You'll feel better tomorrow." Actually, the boy would probably have a decent hangover, but no sense mentioning that right now.

Zero inhaled, pulling Kaname's scent deeply into his lungs as his silver-amethyst gaze slid up towards the other's face. _Close._ Kaname was so close to him. He probably should have felt threatened... but he didn't. He felt something else entirely. The hunter's eyes were slightly glassy, but there was a silent, almost dark intensity in them that the pureblood had not expected to see and for half a moment Kaname faltered as he was caught by Zero's gaze, his heart skipping a beat.

The first three buttons of Kaname's crisp white dress shirt were undone, the collar gaping casually enough to reveal the graceful curves of the pureblood's neck and tantalizing little glimpses of the vampire's pale, sculpted collarbones and chest. Zero's gaze was drawn to the sight and he felt a warming of his blood.

There was something incredibly attractive about the pureblood like this, partially out of his evening finery, but still looking good enough to eat – no pun intended. Zero was suddenly gripped by the strong desire to peal Kaname out of that shirt. He wanted to touch the fabric, feel the warm flesh and the pulse pounding below, wanted to strip it away slowly and take what was underneath. His silver eyes started darkening to ruby. Inhabitations nicely smothered by the intoxicants on his system, he didn't see any dichotomy in being mad at Kaname and wanting to strip him at the same time. Quite the opposite... he'd been so humiliated tonight, made to feel so powerless... the urge to take back a little of his own was very strong.

Zero was looking at him intently and Kaname felt his body temperature rising despite himself. It was there again, that look that Kaname had seen back in Zero's room at school. That dark, alluring vampire radiance that usually only presented itself when Zero needed to feed. Kaname swallowed quietly. Zero had insinuated that the pureblood only wanted him along so he could use him, like... like Seiji did with his ex-humans. Kaname wasn't about to prove him right, not tonight. But it was really hard to remember that and keep any kind of a clear head when Zero was looking at him like this.

Zero was staring at his neck and given the hue his eyes were taking on, Kaname figured he wanted blood again, even though he'd fed quite recently. But his blood seemed to be the only thing Zero ever _really_ wanted from him. Just like everyone else. Well, at least it was something, Kaname supposed.

Kaname started to straighten up, his fingers sliding to his collar to pull it aside. Zero caught his sleeve, stopping him and keeping the pureblood bent over him. "No..." he growled softly. He didn't want Kaname touching those buttons. Those were _his, _Zero's. No one else was allowed to touch. He wanted to do it. Zero didn't know where the sudden surge of possessiveness was coming from, but it felt good and he didn't question it.

"Mine." The growl was almost in a whisper, but it strangely shot straight to Kaname's gut, making him stare at Zero in uncertain surprise. Zero liked that. He liked seeing surprise on those graceful features, liked to see the pureblood off balance for a change.

The ex-human let himself sprawl backwards on the bed, tugging Kaname with him. The bedspread was cool against Zero's back through the thin t-shirt he was wearing and it felt really good to be lying down. His head didn't throb quite so much.

Surprised again, Kaname allowed Zero to tug him down. Half standing, half kneeling now, Kaname had to bring one knee up to rest on the edge of the bed, hands planted on either side of Zero's head to support him so he wasn't actually lying on top of Zero, although their bodies were close. Very close.

Zero's fingers slid up to trace the front of Kaname's dress shirt, savoring the feeling of the fabric under his fingertips as he undid Kaname's fourth button slowly. "Let me..." he murmured, slightly mesmerized as the round, smooth little buttons gave way one at a time under his touch until Kaname's shirt was hanging completely open. Kaname wasn't wearing an undershirt and Zero shivered.

Kaname's breath rasped softly in his throat as he looked down at Zero, the glazed silver-red eyes focused intently on their task. Kaname _did_ let him, although he knew he shouldn't. Because each moment Zero was this close to him, each time his fingers lightly, unintentionally brushed Kaname's skin as he worked the buttons, it was getting harder and harder for Kaname to restrain the urge to strip the boy and make urgent love to him right here.

Zero was drunk. Kaname was trying not to take advantage of him. Zero already thought he was a manipulative, callus bastard; Kaname didn't need to feed that fire. He didn't ever want to see again that look of horror and disgust he'd seen on Zero's face earlier. But Kaname was no saint and in some matters his control only went so far. Much more of this and he was going to be bedding the hunter, no matter his intentions to the contrary.

Zero's knees came up and gripped Kaname's hips, giving a push against the bed that rolled them over so that Kaname was now lying on the bed where Zero had been a moment ago. Zero's scent on the sheets and above him filled Kaname's senses. Kaname swallowed again and closed his eyes, turning his head to the side to give Zero access to his neck. O_h God... don't play with me like this, Zero... take what you need and don't make me do something you'll probably hate me for tomorrow... _

Zero felt his stomach lurch, but this time with heat rather than queasiness as he looked down at Kaname, sprawled passively on the bed under him. The pureblood's shirt was open, lying puddled on either side of his body. The change in positions had caused it to slide down and almost completely off of Kaname's left shoulder, presenting a provocative view of creamy, vulnerable skin. Kaname had his eyes closed, long black lashes brushing his cheeks, head turned in a way that presented his neck like the most delicious of invitations. It wasn't a thirst for blood that had spurred Zero's movements, but he couldn't resist that kind of temptation.

Capturing Kaname's wrists in his hands, he held them trapped against the bed by the pureblood's head as he leaned down and trailed his mouth slowly along the curve of Kaname's exposed shoulder, tracing the graceful, corded muscles on the path from shoulder to neck. Kaname's chest shuddered ever so slightly. Zero bit him low, on the junction of shoulder and neck. The tremor in Kaname's breathing was much more notable this time as the sensation of Zero's teeth sinking into his flesh zinged through him. The feeling of Zero's body straddling his, of the hunter's grip pinning him down as he licked, lapped and drank from his neck made Kaname's body weak with arousal and he breathed harshly through his teeth. _Hurry up... just hurry up and finish... I can't do this... _

Zero loved the taste of Kaname's blood. It was better than any alcohol he'd had tonight. But Zero wasn't really thirsty this time; it was the act of claiming Kaname that he craved. The pureblood was swiftly filling his mind, becoming the focus of his world for these moments as everything else slipped away to insignificance. Zero slid his teeth free, licked the small, delicious little puncture wounds left behind, moved a few centimeters farther up Kaname's neck and bit down again. Zero had known Kaname would react, he always did, and Zero drank up the slight tightening of the frame under him, the way the blood pumped faster into his mouth as Kaname's heart rate increased, the small, almost inaudible groan that his sharp hearing picked up from deep in the pureblood's throat. Kaname knew what was coming.

Kaname clenched his eyes shut tighter, hands curling into fists in Zero's grip as the hunter bit him again... and again... laying a slow, deliberate trail of bites from his shoulder up the side of his neck. Kaname knew by now that Zero would do this sometimes. It wasn't a matter of not knowing how to bite anymore; it was just that he _liked _it. Kaname had learned to like it too, perhaps too much. It hurt, but it also made his senses spin. His body throbbed in raw desire as Zero's fangs claimed him repeatedly. There was a kind of intoxicating rush to his own vulnerability in surrendering to Zero like this. He shouldn't like it. But he did.

Kaname groaned softly through his teeth as Zero reached the top of his neck, where jaw joined throat. Kaname's brows knit and Zero could feel the muscles in his wrists cording and tensing under his hands, although making no attempt to pull free. The hunter was aware that Kaname didn't like being bitten up here, on this part of his neck, and he sank his teeth down with particular relish, anticipating the reaction it would cause. Zero could already smell his partner's arousal. Dark fire was lapping up in an all consuming flame inside him. Reason was fading to a distant thought as the urge to claim, to please, to hurt; to do whatever he wanted with the warm body beneath him welled up like blood rising from a wound. Thick, raw, compelling... delicious.

Kaname whimpered unintentionally and his body squirmed beneath Zero. _Holy crap _that hurt... he both hated and loved it when Zero would bite him this high. The hunter mercilessly pulled free and bit him again even higher, behind his jaw and below his ear. Kaname moaned sharply, heart almost pounding out of his chest now, body continuing to squirm desperately despite himself. It was almost unbearable being bitten there. He wanted to scream, but he managed not to. He was on fire. Zero obviously didn't really want to drink; he just wanted to bite him. Kaname should make him stop... but he didn't want him to stop. Kaname could not have explained why exactly this hurt so good, but he was entranced despite himself, his breath coming in small, needy gasps.

His knees gripped Zero's hips, pulling the hunter down to press against him, urgently needing the warm friction of their bodies rubbing together, even through their clothes.

Zero was keenly aware of how hard Kaname was as he pressed up urgently against him and the aroused fire pumping through his own veins answered strongly. Kaname was so damn beautiful that Zero felt sometimes that looking at him was like looking at the sun – his afterimage was left burned into Zero's retinas... and his heart.

Zero couldn't even feel weird about thinking of the other vampire as beautiful anymore. He _was _beautiful... and arrogant, and dangerous... and so appealing. Fury had metamorphosed into lust. Zero wanted the pureblood so much his body ached with it. He would show him. Kaname had paraded him in front of all those people like Zero was his property, like some kind of mongrel dog on a leash. Well this dog had teeth, and he would show the pureblood exactly what it felt like to be _owned_.

Groaning softly, Zero released one of Kaname's wrists, freeing his hand to travel down the tempting, exposed planes of Kaname's chest, ribs and abdomen below him. He felt the pureblood's stomach quiver under his hand as his fingers trailed below the navel. He loosened and unknotted that delightful sash Kaname was wearing, like unwrapping an exotic package before his searching fingers found the button on Kaname's dress slacks and tugged it free.


	12. Twisted Reflections

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _A/N: Serious yaoi lemon warnings ahead. Like... the whole chapter... LOL_
> 
> Actually this chapter took quite a few turns I wasn't expecting and turned out somewhat different than I originally envisioned, including getting a bit longer but what can I say? I can't say no to the dear boys when they start writing themselves... ;)

**Chapter Twelve: "Twisted Reflections"**

Kaname's free hand quickly rose to tangle in Zero's hair as the ex-human continued to bite and bleed his neck with excruciating sensuality. The pureblood gasped softly as Zero undid button and zipper on his trousers and coaxed his straining flesh free, not bothering to undress him any further than that just yet.

Warm fingers curled around him, fondling, caressing, pumping him in long,f demanding strokes and Kaname's back arched against the bed, his hips jerking urgently into Zero's grip as he nearly sobbed from delighted arousal and desire.

Some part of Zero kept expecting Kaname to resist him, to want to turn the tables, and he pressed Kaname harder, fingers digging almost painfully into his flesh as he pleasured him. He didn't want to give up this incredible moment when he had the pureblood bucking helplessly against him and groaning so sweetly in the wild abandon of pleasure. He _wouldn't_ give it up.

But Kaname didn't try to take control from him. The idea of resistance barely even entered his mind. Why would he want to resist something that felt so unbelievably good? He was lost, and he let himself be lost, in Zero's touch, in his nearness, in the indescribable mix of pain and pleasure that Kaname instinctively craved. _"Ngh... ah.."_ Kaname groaned harshly through his teeth, feeling like he was losing his mind.

Zero shifted a little further up the bed, aroused beyond belief at the way Kaname was reacting, fairly bucking under him. The pureblood thrust urgently into his grip, gasping and shuddering as Zero continued to sweetly maul his neck from ear to shoulder, back and forth, over and over. He jerked his teeth. He tore flesh. Kaname screamed softly in his throat and clutched Zero tighter. Blood turned the white collar of the pureblood's dress shirt red.

Zero was lost.

Kaname gripped Zero's shoulder with his free hand, fingers tangling in Zero's shirt, tugging at him, almost tearing the sleeve, begging for more as Zero brutalized and pleasured him out of his mind in equal measure. Zero still had Kaname's other hand trapped by his head. Kaname couldn't think; he could register nothing but the exquisite, excruciating bliss his lover was giving him.

Pain for a vampire was a more complicated and double-edged sensation than it was for humans. Sometimes pain was just pain, but when other factors were involved, when blood lust or arousal was suitably put into play... the chemicals released by those states of being rushed to the brain, reinterpreting pain signals into those of pleasure. For a society wherein sinking your teeth into someone else was essential for survival, this was a natural biological adaptation. Not that the pain didn't still hurt, but given the right stimuli the two sensations could blend in the most unimaginably exquisite ways.

Being a pureblood, Kaname's body was more responsive than most to that kind of stimulation and on some level he barely understood he craved that dual-edged dance, craved it intensely. To truly balance the two sensations usually took a certain amount of practice, an acquired skill which the young pureblood did not yet entirely possess, but the raw allure of it was strong and Kaname almost shook at the mixed up jumble of signals that was shooting around in his head and playing out in his body. His neck was a mass of raw pain, but it just fed the heat pooling in his groin, a molten fire that threatened to undo him.

He fought it at first, not ready to let Zero dominate him so completely, to make him lose control like this. But soon his own need overcame him. He couldn't help it and he surrendered to Zero and to the fire that was too delicious to deny. He groaned, breath coming in hard, ragged pants as he realized he was losing it, pushed over the brink by Zero's strong, groping hand and his exquisitely ruthless fangs.

Kaname cried out, humming muscles snapping tight, white flame washing across his senses. He climaxed hard under Zero as the hunter pinned him down against the bed. Kaname keened softly with repeated shudders of bliss as Zero wrung the full effect of his pleasure out of him, squeezing and pumping as he urgently licked, kissed and bit Kaname's already blood covered neck.

Zero's heart was pounding wildly, the echo of his lover's pleasure resounding through him. The pureblood's release only fueled his own need and desire. The ex-human's eyes were completely black. No silver showed now, only a fine rim of red around the edges. If Kaname had wanted to see Zero's vampire side rise to the fore... that was exactly what had happened.

Kaname's body slackened in Zero's arms, his frame going limp against the bed in the after effects of gratification as he tried to catch his breath, still holding Zero close. He felt weak and dizzy from his release.

With the pureblood pliant in the aftermath of intense orgasm and still shivering with lingering shocks of pleasure, Zero had no trouble swiftly and easily stripping Kaname completely out of his clothes and shedding his own. Zero's need was still very, very real, and there was currently only one way he wanted to satiate it.

Kaname sucked his breath in, dilated eyes fluttering open and fixing on Zero as the hunter knelt between his legs, pulling Kaname's right knee up his side with one hand as he used blood from Kaname's neck to swiftly and roughly prep him with the other hand. The pureblood's muscles still felt leaden with release. With some resistance, they gave way for Zero, but Kaname's body trembled a bit as he realized what his lover wanted, wincing at the swift, un-careful movements.

Kaname felt his breath catch, body tense and unsure as he looked up at Zero. It wasn't as if the hunter had never made love to him like this before... but not that often, and not in a really long time. Kaname felt incredibly vulnerable in this position. With his healing neck still bloodied and his body still feeling shaky from having just been brought to orgasm in such a helpless manner... it fueled his feeling of vulnerability even more.

Zero wasn't biting him anymore, but he kissed, licked and caressed Kaname's healing neck intensely as he jabbed his fingers deeper, impatiently scissoring them to force a wider entry. Kaname sucked his breath in, pulse hammering, hips squirming in discomfort on the mattress. He wasn't aroused enough now for this to feel good, and it hurt. Zero's lips continued to play on his neck, caressing the small, raw bite marks and sending little shivers through Kaname that wanted to rekindle the fire in him, but his body simply wasn't quite ready yet.

If Zero's head had been a little clearer, he might have thought that the long, raw track of fading bite marks he'd left across Kaname's neck held an eerie resemblance to the ones sported by the ex-humans at the party. Kaname did have that thought that however, and the small twist of irony was not lost on him. It begged the question, who exactly was the master here, and who was the thrall? It was a humiliating, frightening, almost terrifying thought for the pureblood actually, because the truth was, Kaname knew Zero held a certain power over him that he couldn't explain, even if it was just the power of his own, hopeless attraction.

This was exemplified by the fact that although Kaname was perfectly capable of pulling away if he really didn't want Zero to do this... he was staying put. He was biting his lip against the pain and saying nothing as Zero's fingers harshly plundered and stretched, demanding his body give way. He was curling his arms hesitantly around Zero's back in order to explore the warm planes of muscle and soft skin. He was holding his breath without realizing it as Zero pulled his fingers free, his hard flesh sliding against Kaname's thigh, pressing against him, seeking entry. It was almost impossible for Kaname to accept anyone having this kind of inexplicable hold over him... and yet... with Zero...

His own vulnerability twisted a hard knot in Kaname's stomach that was as strangely arousing as it was unsettling. He was stupid. He was _so _stupid. Others of his kind would never understand this, they would be shocked, horrified and think he was unforgivably weak for letting someone else possess him like this; especially someone like Zero... but Kaname _wanted_ Zero. Even though he wasn't even fully aroused at the moment, even though this was hurting like hell... he wanted Zero in a way that ran deeper than that. He wanted to give this to Zero. Wanted to give himself. On some level he was not yet ready to express... he wanted to give Zero everything.

Zero kissed Kaname behind the ear, his teeth teasingly grazing over where he had bitten before as he thrust forward hard, claiming his lover's still softly shuddering body. The hunter's heart pounded in his ears in a rapid, delicious tattoo of desire, throbbing in his aroused body where he was joining with his lover. It felt so good... thinking was impossible; all he could do was feel.

Kaname's back arched as pain flared and he gave a soft, strangled cry. His hands snapped up to grip Zero's upper arms tightly, hanging onto him as he struggled to relax into what was happening. His breath came in swift, rapid gasps. It had indeed been a little too long; he'd forgotten how this could feel and Zero wasn't exactly being gentle. His hips squirmed and his fingers dug into Zero's biceps, squeezing tightly for some kind of grounding as his lover pushed swiftly deeper. Kaname pressed his head back against the mattress, biting his lip and trying to focus on that pain instead of the other.

Zero gave a shuddering groan of pleasure, his arousal flushed flesh tingling and pulsing within the hot, tight confines of his lover's body as he swiftly thrust harder, deeper. It was so good... he needed more... he needed everything... wanted to give everything... Kaname's fingers were bruising his arms and he grabbed the pureblood's wrists once more, pushing them back down to the bed and pinning them by Kaname's sides as he rocked into him.

Kaname inhaled sharply through his teeth in a small gasping groan and Zero shuddered, drinking up the sound, his driving motions becoming harder, more forceful, wanting to hear that sound again.

Kaname did whimper again, he couldn't help it. He clenched his eyes shut, trying not to hyperventilate. This really hurt... not just _hurt-and-then-feel-good_; it was _hurt-and-keep-hurting_. _Shit _did it hurt Zero this much every time? He hadn't remembered it being quite this bad, but then, last time Zero had taken him seemed a life age ago, and Kaname had been so delirious with desire and pleasure at that time that it had made things significantly easier. Even now, if he'd been more aroused, it probably would have been a different story. Zero was pushing rapidly, demandingly into his tight heat and Kaname set his jaw, wrists twisting in the iron grip.

"Zero..." he gasped softly through his teeth, wanting to ask Zero to slow down a little, but unable to get around his pride to do so.

Zero could tell the pureblood was having a hard time adjusting, and was having an equally hard time speaking up about it. He intentionally pressed him harder, forcing Kaname's protesting body to accept every inch he had to offer, not about to stop until he had taken his lover completely to the core. Perhaps if Kaname could have brought himself to ask, Zero might have slowed for him, but if Kaname was going to try to play the proud pureblood... the hunter would have no mercy, he was too worked up and that required way too much thinking. Kaname had certainly never been hesitant with him when the shoe was on the other foot... never _asked _him what he wanted, never gave him a choice...

Zero stifled a short little almost-sob in his throat that turned into a soft growl. He was _not _the pureblood's dog, he was _not! _His hips slammed into Kaname's, almost hard enough to hurt them both.

Kaname's knees clamped against Zero's sides, a harsh gasping cry torn from his throat as Zero's seated himself completely. Kaname's breathing trembled, his body contracting and tensing wildly despite knowing that would make this more difficult for himself. His chest heaved; he felt like he couldn't get enough air and he squeezed his eyes shut. He was in pain and he was humiliatingly a little scared, although he hardly knew why. There was no reason really; it was just that he wasn't at ease ceding this much control, he had edged way out beyond his comfort zone. But this was Zero... not anyone else, Zero... The pureblood's pulse thundered in his ears.

_Please, Zero... please... give me half a second... I'm not used to this... _he entreated silently, words he could not say, nor did he expect Zero to heed whether he did or not. His lover was obviously quite worked up and Kaname's muscles knotted in agonized anticipation of what was coming. He _was_ hyperventilating now.

But Zero _didn't_ simply start plowing him. The ex-human stilled for a heartbeat, giving his lover that moment he needed. He released Kaname's wrists, his hands sliding up to plant on either side of Kaname's head as he leaned over him. Silver strands of hair partially obscured the hunter's face, but the dark, hungry, dancing eyes glittered with heat. Zero's breath brushed Kaname's neck, sending a shiver though the pureblood's being.

"Somebody told me, you're supposed to relax and that makes it easier..." Zero murmured with dark, silky amusement. He gave a small, rough little jerk of his hips, just enough to make sure that Kaname felt him move, that he remembered how deeply Zero was currently possessing him. Like there was any chance the pureblood was about to forget... but Kaname was so appealing like this, with his usual veneer stripped away – uncertain, vulnerable... desirable... Zero's body throbbed harshly in its tight sheath and he almost groaned, head swimming with ecstasy. He leaned on one arm, his other sliding to pinch one of Kaname's soft, pale nipples, molesting it almost painfully as he jerked his hips again, harder this time. "What's the matter, Kaname... don't you... want to... relax?" each purred word was punctuated with another short thrust and a sharp little twist of the fingers, sending exquisite jolts of pain and heat through his partner's body.

Kaname's eyes shot open at the sound of his lover's voice and he found his gaze locked with Zero's. There was something hypnotic in the dark eyes and Kaname felt another shudder curl through him. He winced, his flushed face tensing as Zero _reminded _him, quite thoroughly, of his position. The pureblood whimpered softly in his throat, one fist twisting in the sheets. He gave a small, shaky, breathless snort of laughter, resisting the urge to writhe at how tightly stretched he felt. _Relax?_ Yeah, _there_ was something he really felt like doing with a vamped out ex-human on top of him, those dark eyes promising so much delicious torture to come.

"Somebody... was a moron..." he gasped softly, a hint of sardonic sarcasm in his tone because he knew he was talking about himself, and just at the moment that was _so _true. Especially since a dull, but warm and welcome thread of arousal was starting to thrum through his being once more... starting to make him crave this deeply intimate contact rather than resist it... giving his heart something else to race with.

Zero's dark smile glittered for a moment. "Yeah..." he murmured as he dipped down, forehead resting against Kaname's shoulder. His elbows now braced on the bed, arms resting on either side of Kaname's head, his fingers curled tightly into the quilt for purchase as his hips jerked back and thrust forward again, claiming the body under him hard.

Kaname's supple body arched beautifully against him, muscles rippling under the pale skin as another soft cry was torn from him. But there was pleasure in it, as well as pain this time. A sharp jolt of sudden, intensely aroused fire radiated through the pureblood. Zero had struck the right chord to make Kaname's body sing like a harp and before Kaname even had a chance to grapple with this new, delightful sensation, the hunter's driving body had struck it again, and again...

Kaname's hands curled up under Zero's armpits, gripping on desperately and feeling the hunter's muscles flex under the warm skin as Zero's rapid, unrestrained, intense pounding pushed them both backwards, further up the bed towards the headboard. The pureblood was keening from pleasure again, raw waves of sensation crashing and breaking over him as he was scooted roughly across the quilted bedspread. He'd also forgotten how damn good this could feel.

Zero's chest heaved and shuddered. Kaname's cries were intoxicating, just like his hot, tight body, just like the way he bucked and writhed between Zero and the mattress, lithe and almost catlike. The hunter could have almost wept from the sensation. It was beyond amazing and it was swiftly undoing him completely.

Pleasure seared up through his senses, driving him towards a brink that he welcomed, even as he tried to hold it off for as long as deliciously possible. His fingers knotted into the covers again, accidentally tearing into them as his fingers unintentionally and unexpectedly lengthened into short talons in the throes of passion. His arms tightened, elbows digging into the bed, trapping Kaname's shoulders against the back of his upper arms to halt their movement across the mattress and hold the pureblood still. His hips flexed, thrusting deeply and repeatedly into the body under him as the burning pleasure inside him finally found release.

Zero cried out hoarsely, his face flushed and glazed with pleasure, his whole body jerking with the incredible waves of sensation as they tore through him and he rode them out, climaxing intensely inside his lover's body. At the height of his release, Zero's closed eyes snapped open, gazing down into Kaname's.

Kaname was transfixed by the raw, almost soul-splitting pleasure written across Zero's face and in his dark eyes. The pureblood's whole being seemed to respond, a hot tightness crushing his chest like a warm fist curled around his heart.

Zero collapsed against Kaname, his body trembling, chest heaving raggedly. His hands released the sheets and tangled softly in Kaname's hair, clinging to him like the pureblood was the very air he breathed. Their chests heaved silently, softly together.

Kaname was still aching with arousal, but his arms slid around Zero's shoulders, holding him as the hunter shivered against him, savoring the nearness even if his body was still urgently craving something else. His legs wrapped around Zero's waist, ankles crossing at the small of his lover's back as he held him close. Zero's breath rasped unevenly against the pureblood's neck, body continuing to shudder softly. Kaname couldn't see it, but the blackness had receded from the hunter's eyes. Zero's body felt leaden with pleasure and alcohol, his chest felt warm... tight... and head was cloudy.

"Kaname..." he murmured softly against the other's neck, his brows furrowing lightly now in concern as he tried to work around the cotton in his mind, a complete, heavy weariness pulling him down and making his eyelids heavy. He felt deeply fulfilled... but he knew he'd also been angry, and he'd not been gentle. "'m sorry... did I hurt you?" he mumbled softly, his whispered voice slurring a bit.

Kaname's arms tightened around Zero's sides, his fingers slowly stroking Zero's deliciously muscled shoulder blades. Yes, Zero had hurt him, but... he'd been willing, and it had been incredible. "I'm fine, Zero," Kaname murmured softly into his hair. He smiled faintly, shifting against Zero, resisting the urge to bite his lip as his hard body pressed achingly against Zero's abdomen. The hunter was still inside him and Kaname couldn't really move without pulling away, which he didn't quite want to do.

Zero was too gone to split hairs about Kaname's response and he simply relaxed in relief, his eyes closing as he inhaled the rich scent of his lover's body, face nestled in the crook of his neck... Zero started to drift despite himself. Exhaustion and release mingled with intoxication were a potent combination.

"Zero?" Kaname shifted slightly, fingers tracing the other's spine. But Zero didn't respond and Kaname could feel the body over him slackening in relaxation, breath and heart evening out in a way that said quite clearly his lover was falling asleep, or, perhaps more appropriately passing out. The pureblood couldn't resist a wry, slightly frustrated smile as he held Zero for a moment, their bodies still entwined as he gazed up at the ceiling. Well, what did he expect? The ex-human was dead drunk and had... exerted himself... rather hard.

Kaname bit back a small groan as his hips pressed up against Zero of their own accord. Kaname understood, but he still had... a problem. Reluctantly, Kaname started to shift, moving to roll Zero off him so he could retire to the bathroom and take care of his issues on his own. Kaname winced a little. He'd heal up swiftly, but just at the moment, he was still pretty sore and moving reminded him of that quite vividly.

Feeling Kaname start to withdraw, however, seemed to stir Zero out of his slumber and he instinctively tightened, hands suddenly curling into the bed tightly on either side of Kaname's head again, knees gripping the pureblood's hips to keep him still as if unwilling to lose the soft warmth beneath him, as if needing to stay connected to the beating heart by his chest like it was his own. He mumbled something unintelligible in groggy, slightly petulant protest at being disturbed, his hips jerking softly against the pureblood.

Despite being sated, Zero was still hard inside the other's body and Kaname sucked his breath in, legs clenching around Zero's waist as the motion sent much needed sensation skittering through him. He groaned softly, both amused and stymied by Zero's reaction. He didn't want to just force the boy off him, but his situation was getting pretty uncomfortably urgent.

His fingers tangled in Zero's hair, his hips unable to help humping softly against the other now. "Zero..." he murmured, his voice a little shaky. "Zero, let me go now..." he didn't think Zero would be too hard to convince in his current state, but Zero surprised him, his body tightening further, apparently deeply unwilling to lose contact with his lover.

"Mmnnng..." he protested groggily, unable to figure out why Kaname kept trying to pull away from him. All he wanted to do right now was hold the pureblood... he felt like some part of him would break if he couldn't.

"Zero!" a little of Kaname's frustration bled through into his voice. Zero had left him _very _worked up and he _really _needed to move.

The hint of urgency in Kaname's tone dragged Zero a little more awake and he lifted his head, blinking somewhat foggily at his lover. As he did, he became aware of something very, very hard jabbing him in the stomach. A surprised and slightly confused look took Zero's flushed features as he slid one hand down between their bodies, fingers searching and finding the something to confirm its identity.

Kaname hissed softly through his teeth, his body tensing pleasurably at the contact.

Zero's mind was operating a little slowly now and he looked at Kaname with something akin to puzzlement as he absently stroked the hard flesh. He hadn't realized Kaname hadn't found release yet. In his defense, he was doing pretty good just being awake still with the amount of vampire alcohol he had coursing through his veins. If Kaname had drunk his blood right now, he probably could have gotten tipsy off the hunter.

"You're still... uh... hard..." Zero murmured softly, as if trying to figure out why that was or what he'd done wrong. His confusion was precious, but Kaname's body was aching and Zero's light, exploratory touches were only feeding that fire.

The pureblood resisted a soft groan. "Yes, Zero, you're a genius," he panted softly, with a healthy dose of amused sarcasm that he couldn't stifle.

Zero scowled hazily at him, unexpectedly hooking his hand under Kaname's right knee and pushing it back to the other's chest as he gave his hips a sharp thrust. Kaname just did _not _tend to engender the desire to be treated gently, did he? Zero vaguely registered some surprise that he was still hard too and Kaname reacted delightfully to the stimulation, his fingers dropping to the covers at his sides and holding on tightly as pleasure rocked through him again.

Zero liked that reaction. He pulled back and shifted partially upright, sliding to kneel on the bed and gripping Kaname's knees, half for balance and half for control, as he knelt between the pureblood's legs.

Kaname leaned slightly up on his elbows, fixing Zero with a heated, if very mildly apprehensive look. He didn't know what the ex-human was doing.

Zero stroked Kaname's pale inner thigh with a soft, almost reassuring touch, promising pleasure, not pain. His head was hazy and throbbing, he was deliciously exhausted and really wanted to sleep, but his intentions now were simply to please his lover. He didn't want to leave Kaname hanging, and there was something deeply appealing about the needy desire radiating from the other.

Holding Kaname's knees spread, Zero rocked into him with deliberate slowness, watching the reaction play across Kaname's features, the way his neck muscles flexed, his hands curled into the bedspread, seeing the moment when he took him completely and Kaname's eyes glazed with unimaginable pleasure. It was an intensely erotic and compelling tableau.

His hands slid down to Kaname's hips, gripping them and holding them to the bed as he continued to thrust, angling for maximum effect as he watched the enticing pureblood spread on the bed before him gasp and tremble with ecstasy each time he touched the right places inside him. Zero was too gone to really get going again himself, but there was a different kind of awe to be found here, and it pulled him in and swallowed him just as surely as before, if in a different way.

He watched Kaname as his pace slowly quickened, transfixed. At the moment, all the other issues and problems that surrounded them were but a distant memory, something he couldn't be bothered with at this juncture, and his cloudy mind was caught in an aching sense of wonder. Most everyone at that party earlier would have willingly thrown themselves at Kaname – all of them beautiful, high-blooded vampires with so much to offer. But Zero was the one Kaname went home with, and he was the one that was now so deeply tangled up in the pureblood's beautiful body that it felt like they were physically one. Maybe it was just because he was completely drunk that that thought made Zero's heart so full, that's what he would tell himself later at any rate, but then again, maybe it wasn't...

In some ways, Kaname felt even more vulnerable than before as Zero knelt, holding his hips and his knees, pleasuring him deliberately while Kaname could do nothing but lie back on the bed and groan in aroused delight and agony while Zero watched him. But intense, helpless heat held him in place as his gaze locked with Zero and he saw so much intensity and such indefinably soft emotion on his partner's face. That was why this was worth it...every bit of control he'd surrendered, even more than the intense, incredible pleasure he was also reaping, it was that look in Zero's eyes. For these moments, they weren't telling Kaname that he was a disgusting beast in human form; they were looking at him like he was something delightful and entrancing, something worthy of caring about. It was pathetic that he craved that kind of look from just about the only person in the world who usually wouldn't give it to him, but Kaname didn't care. He arched against Zero with a soft groan, fingers digging through the covers and into the mattress as Zero's torturously slow pace finally roughened and became swifter, sending his heart racing wildly.

"Zero..." he groaned the hunter's name helplessly. "Zero..."

Then Zero was gone from between his legs and Kaname was left gasping and reeling, like the world had ended. _No... please... he was so close..._ "Zero!" it was a desperate, agonized whisper. The pureblood's whole being thrummed with desire for his lover, so much he almost couldn't breathe.

Warm hands were on his thighs again, spreading them, spreading fire across the sensitive skin, making his body tremble. Kaname looked down and saw Zero's silver head bent over him. Hot, smooth, firm lips pressed against Kaname's quivering stomach, against his navel, against his abdomen... and finally against his straining, throbbing arousal.

Zero mapped the unusual texture and taste slowly. Maybe it was the alcohol goading him to things he would otherwise have avoided, but the truth was he wanted to do this... and he wanted to see Kaname's reaction. Very, very much.

Kaname's body convulsed in delight and shock and his breath sobbed in through his teeth as sensation flamed through him along with surprise. Zero had never done this before. Neither of them had. Somehow it had seemed too... personal. Idiotic, considering the other things they did perhaps, but nevertheless, they had never done it. It was slightly obvious that Zero didn't really know what he was doing, but at this point that hardly mattered. Kaname was so worked up, and the whole thing so novel that just the _thought _of Zero doing this for him was almost enough to send Kaname over to top. He hung on desperately though, not wanting this to end, wanting to prolong the moment as Zero's warm, wet tongue, lips and teeth played him sensually, if tentatively.

Zero's untried ministrations were intensely earnest as he licked and sucked at the pureblood's needy flesh, taking him into his mouth at first a bit hesitantly, but then with more resolve as he found it not quite so odd or distasteful as he'd thought it would be, especially with the delightful way Kaname was reacting. Actually... Zero found it strangely good and exciting and he licked and sucked more insistently, wringing gasping moan after moan from Kaname, the pureblood's skin entirely flushed with desire. His hand tangled in Zero's hair, his chest heaving. Kaname was completely at Zero's mercy and completely lost in a sea of indescribable pleasure. Something about that hit a very deep note inside the hunter, reverberating in his soul.

Kaname couldn't hold out long under the beautiful stimulus and pleasure finally exploded through him. He clutched at Zero's hair and the bed sheets, his hips arching as he came, heels pressing down into the mattress, head snapping back with a hoarse, wild cry of pleasure. He hadn't expected Zero to do this so completely, but the hunter milked him with the innate skill of one who could imagine what would feel good, even without prior experience.

Kaname fell back on the bed, exhausted, trembling, body still quaking with pleasure. He felt spent and full and confused all at the same time. He tried to keep in mind that this was just two friends expressing their mutual attraction and needs, but every day, that was getting harder. He felt like he'd given Zero more than he should... like he was leaving himself so open for hurt it was breathtakingly stupid... but he just couldn't stop. He couldn't weigh the consequences and play the careful games he usually played. When it came to this stubborn, moody, sensual, incredible hunter... all his logic and his plans seemed to go out the window and he didn't know how to stop that. He didn't want to. It felt so good... so right when he was with Zero, and that was all he wanted to think about right now.

Zero wiped his mouth on the back of his hand, too warm, tired and utterly contented by his lover's reactions and responses to feel weirded out with himself at all, at least right now. Later perhaps... but later, was _later. _This was now, and Zero simply crawled up the bed to rejoin his lover.

Kaname felt Zero's body slide against his as the hunter moved to lie beside him, legs tangling with Kaname's as he tried somewhat clumsily to tug at the quilt they were laying on. Kaname helped him, a few moments of maneuvering getting them both under the covers instead of above them. Zero was so tired now; he couldn't keep his eyes open, even though he wanted to. He snuggled against Kaname's body, wrapping a leg around the other's hip as they rolled to face each other, silver hair fanned on the pillows, mingling with brown.

Kaname wrapped his arm around Zero's waist, nuzzling his face softly into Zero's neck, kissing and licking slowly. Lightly, his fangs slipped into the hunter's skin. Gently, he coaxed blood from him with practiced ease. It wasn't about being thirsty as much as the need for intimacy. Zero was right here in his arms, but... it wasn't enough. He wanted the hunter in his veins. In his soul.

Zero started just slightly at the sharp prick of fangs at his neck, but he was already drifting off to sleep, and Kaname was being very careful, the mild sting only lasting a moment before it was just the warm, intimate sensation and sound of blood being drawn from his body. Actually... it was very... pleasant.

Zero smiled sleepily, nuzzling into Kaname and tilting his head into the pillow, arm curling around Kaname's midriff. Proving both that he was subconsciously more comfortable and trusting of his partner than he usually admitted, and perhaps also just how heavily intoxicated he was, Zero drifted off to sleep while Kaname was drinking from him.

Kaname finished and licked the wounds closed. He hadn't taken too much, but it was enough to fill the ache in his chest... and enough to make his head buzz slightly but warmly from the intoxicants he'd taken in through Zero's blood. With a soft sigh, Kaname's hand slid up to cup Zero's sleeping face, tangling in the silver hair as he watched him sleep.

Utterly silently, the pureblood did what he knew he could not do when the other boy was conscious. He leaned forward and brushed the faintest ghost of a kiss against Zero's warm, still lips, before settling his head back down on the pillow, forehead resting against that of his sleeping lover.

Kaname knew he was an unforgivable idiot. Repeatedly, he handed Zero a deadly blade and placed the tip against his own heart. But Zero wouldn't stab him. Somehow... despite years of ingrained wariness and mistrust of everyone around him, Kaname just couldn't believe that he would. He couldn't contemplate what he'd do if that happened.

A faint smile played on the pureblood's lips in the darkness as he closed his eyes, fingers still contentedly tangled in Zero's hair as he too, drifted off into an exhausted sleep.


	13. Blurring the Lines

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _A/N: Well, slightly calmer chapter this time, although a bit of lemony-ness still slipped itself in there when I wasn't looking... ;)_
> 
> Oh, and there actually is a reason for the little discussion at the end of the chapter... but we'll come back to that later on... :D

**Chapter Thirteen: "Blurring the Lines"**

It was mostly dark, but the small slits of sunlight coming in around the tightly drawn hotel window shades made his eyes throb and ache as he blinked blearily. Everything ached... _oh God... _even his _bones _ached. Zero was vaguely aware of a warm body pressed against his back, a warm arm wrapped around his waist. He was vaguely aware that he was naked and so was the other person. The other person who he knew instinctively was Kaname. Much as he wouldn't have admitted it, waking up to this scenario was not unfamiliar anymore and it no longer raised immediate warning bells in his head.

Of course, his head was currently being occupied by the hyperactive percussion section of some band that was badly in need of practice... so there wasn't much happening up there right now except for throbbing. He didn't really remember what had happened last night at first, but then he wasn't really trying either. The current situation spoke for itself.

Zero felt too ill to care just at the moment. He'd never had a really good hangover before and was not enjoying his initiation. He'd slept like a rock for a few hours, but then his sleep had lightened and become troubled. Not enough to wake him, but enough to give him a restless night full of disturbed dreams, which culminated in him finally waking now mostly because his stomach was sending him warning signals.

Rolling clumsily off the edge of the bed, Zero just managed to get his feet under him and stumble for the bathroom.

Kaname had not slept particularly well either. Zero's restlessness had kept his slumber light, and he awakened easily when he felt the hunter leave the bed. He lay still in the dark, tired but not exactly sleepy. Soft sounds from the bathroom told him that Zero was throwing up. He exhaled softly. Wine hangovers were some of the worst and Zero hadn't hydrated properly while he was drinking to help counter the effects of the alcohol.

Save that Zero knew what it felt like to _actually_ want to die he would have _thought_ he wanted to now. He clutched the sides of the toilet miserably as he leaned over it, kneeling on the cold tile floor and silently swearing to himself that he was _never _going to drink again. His stomach roiled and his head continued to throb as he let it hang. His neck ached, muscles stiff and pained. All his muscles ached dully, which wasn't helped by his shivering as the cold air played across his naked body. He was cold, but not feeling well enough to break away from his desperate hold on the toilet to do anything about it other than be miserable.

_Crap... why did he have to be naked? _Last night started to come back to him. The hunter had been numbly assuming that things had simply gone as he'd have expected. Kaname had seduced him as he did _oh so_ very well and he'd not been in any kind of state of mind to resist. But there was strangely one place he _didn't _ache that didn't work with that scenario and now as his head started to clear a little Zero was remembering slowly that it was actually _he _who had seduced Kaname this time.

_Wow..._ He closed his eyes, ragged breaths heaving his shoulders as he tried to fight back further waves of nausea. If he hadn't been so cold, he would have flushed a bit. _Was there any possibility he could __blame all that on the alcohol?_ People did dumb things when they were drunk, didn't they? But... Kaname hadn't been drunk. Zero frowned as more of the previous night came back to him. If the pureblood had been, maybe Zero could have understood what had happened, but as it was... in the light of a new day, he had no idea why Kaname had let him treat him that way.

Zero grit his teeth as his stomach clenched and he suppressed a sharp little heave. It was a losing battle and soon he was quickly leaning forward again, retching although he had nothing left to bring up. His fingers tightened on the cold porcelain bowl. _Crap... _he'd been such a jerk, or at least... he felt pretty sure he had been. Kaname was gonna be so pissed with him.

Zero froze slightly in confusion as the last thought passed through him. Wait... why the hell did he _care _what the pureblood thought? Wasn't like Kaname wasn't a complete jerk most of the time anyway. Still, that didn't excuse his own behavior... nor erase the incredibly compelling and confusing memories of last night... of the way seeing both agony and pleasure on Kaname's face had made him feel, of the way Kaname held onto him, not pushing him away despite the fact that in retrospect Zero was pretty sure the pureblood must have been in pain. Zero shivered involuntarily, somewhere torn between guilt and desire. _Aw, crap, crap, crap... _

Wrapped in his thoughts and his misery, Zero was not aware that he was no longer alone until he felt something soft and warm settle around his shoulders and across his back. He jerked, not used to being taken unawares, but he instantly realized that of course, it was Kaname in the room with him.

The pureblood crouched, carefully tucking the blanket he'd pulled from the bed more fully around Zero's hunched form as the hunter knelt on the bathroom floor. The blanket was still warm from their bodies and Zero curled gratefully into its welcoming embrace, gripping the edges and pulling it around him.

Kaname brushed Zero's perspiration matted hair back from his forehead with gentle fingers, then simply rested his hand lightly on the hunter's shuddering back as he crouched next to him. "Are you all right?" he asked quietly. He already knew Zero wasn't, but it seemed the thing to say and it felt awkward to say _nothing. _

Zero mutely shook his head, not even up to finding a snarky remark to make about the obviousness of the answer. He stole a glance at Kaname. There was dried blood still clinging to the side of the pureblood's neck, just visible around the collar of his robe. Kaname was wearing one of the white, plush terrycloth bathrobes that the hotel provided. He had laid another on the edge of the sink beside them, obviously for Zero's use when he was ready.

It was surprising, but Kaname's presence and his hand on Zero's back were actually comforting at the moment, which made Zero feel that much more like crap. He swallowed, grimacing at the bitter taste of bile coating his mouth. He wasn't sure what to make of the pureblood's unexpected kindness. Given what he was remembering of recent events, he would have expected Kaname to be more ticked with him. Zero would have been, if the pureblood had used _him_ like that.

"K-Kaname... last night I... I'm sorry I... I didn't..." Zero mumbled softly, trying earnestly to put his jumbled thoughts into some kind of sense.

"Shh, I know. It's fine..." Kaname murmured, his fingers combing lightly through Zero's soft silver hair and sliding down to lightly massage the boy's tense neck. He didn't want Zero to feel bad for indulging his vampire side, and he didn't want to hear that Zero had only wanted him last night because he'd been drunk. It might be the truth, but he was still feeling a bit too vulnerable for that right now. Last night had been last night. It had been Kaname's choice to allow it to happen. Whether or not that had been a mistake... he'd have to decide later. Right now, Zero was obviously feeling pretty raw, and Kaname just wanted to focus on helping him feel better.

Zero closed his eyes, leaning his head back a little, Kaname's strong fingers easing the tense knot out of his neck and helping relieve a bit of the headache pounding in his temples. There was a soft, strange warmth in his chest that had nothing to do with the blanket wrapped around him, and it wasn't arousal either. It was something else... something... indefinable, tentative even, but surprisingly strong. Kaname hadn't _had_ to let Zero have his way last night. He didn't _have_ to be this tender with him now either.

Zero could never reconcile himself to _belonging_ to this pureblood, the way he knew he did, but... things could be so very much worse, couldn't they? His experience with vampires outside the Academy to this point had been somewhat limited, but the party last night had been something of an eye opener on many levels. He didn't _want_ to belong to anyone, but if cruel fate had had to take that choice, that freedom away from him... then he was beginning to think that at least where it had landed him wasn't as horrible as it might have been. He was fairly sure that there weren't many other high-blood vampires out there who would be treating him with this much unnecessary consideration if they had over him the kind of power that Kaname had.

Before he could talk himself out of it, Zero slid his hand out from under the blanket he was hugging to his chest and wrapped his fingers lightly, hesitantly around Kaname's as the pureblood started to withdraw the hand resting against Zero's neck.

"Thanks," Zero whispered quietly, holding Kaname's gaze for half a moment before he had to let it drop. He was too confused inside to hold it, but he squeezed Kaname's hand tightly for a moment, conveying his sincerity.

Kaname froze for a moment as Zero's hand gripped his, then he slowly, carefully squeezed back, an unbidden warmth passing through him. He smiled a little. Unexpectedly, he lifted Zero's hand to his lips and brushed a light kiss on the other's knuckles.

Zero continued to gaze studiously at the rim of the toilet, yet he didn't pull his hand away. He wasn't feeling so nauseous anymore, but he had to control his breathing for an entirely different reason. Memories of last night were still playing in his head. Most of it had come back to him now, including the way he'd... pleasured... Kaname at the end, which made him feel like flushing again. Why on earth had he done _that? _And even more puzzling... why didn't he regret it? Although feeling embarrassed and weird was a different matter.

Kaname gave Zero's fingers a last little squeeze before releasing him. He rose from his crouch, stepping over to the sink and filling one of the glasses sitting on the counter with water from the tap. He reached down, offering it silently to Zero, whom he assumed would like to wash out his mouth.

Zero did, for _oh _so many reasons right at the moment. He accepted the glass, rinsing and spitting to clear the taste of bile before swallowing the rest of the water to ease the thirst he only now realized was aching in his raw throat.

Kaname wet a washcloth in the sink, pulling down the collar of his robe and washing the dried blood from his neck. He needed to shower, but now wasn't the time. When Zero had finished rinsing his mouth, Kaname took the empty glass back and set it on the edge of the sink once more before sliding quietly out of the bathroom to give Zero some privacy.

Zero let his head hang, face resting in one hand. He was glad to be left alone to compose himself and try to deal with his remaining wooziness, but at the same time he found he – strangely – kind of missed Kaname's presence.

_You are losing it, Kiriyu... _Zero berated himself as he finally rose to his feet, keeping the blanket wrapped around him with one arm and running his other down his face as if he could wipe away how crappy he felt. It didn't work. Bending over the sink, Zero turned on the tap, running his head under it and splashing water on his face with cupped hands. As he straightened up, water ran from his hair down between his shoulder blades and along his neck, down his chest, wetting the blanket he was holding around him.

With a sluggish little shiver, Zero decided an actual shower would probably do him more good. He dropped the blanket and shuffled into the tub. When he emerged a while later, his head was slightly clearer. He toweled off and slipped into the robe Kaname had left for him. When he emerged from the bathroom, he found that Kaname had ordered room service while he was in the shower.

A portable table complete with tablecloth and place settings and covered with a tastefully arranged spread of breakfast foods had been wheeled into the room and left near the bed. Kaname was sitting by the table on the edge of the bed, pouring himself a cup of tea. When Zero entered, the pureblood looked up and gestured with his cup towards the table.

"I know you're probably not very hungry, but it will help if you at least try some juice and toast," he said by way of invitation, indicating the carafe of orange juice sitting beside the tea pot.

Zero simply nodded and perched on the edge of the bed near, but not _too _near, where Kaname was sitting. The smell of food wasn't particularly appetizing right now, but juice wasn't a bad idea and he poured himself a glass, sipping it slowly so as not to encourage any of it to come up again.

Zero couldn't help wondering just how odd room service must have thought it was to have someone ordering breakfast when it was probably almost dinner time, but in a place as ritzy as this, he supposed they probably served a full menu all day long. Zero had never been in a hotel this high-end before, although he'd not really had a chance to see much of it. But it was certainly a far cry from the only other hotel he'd stayed in with Kaname. That place had been a bit of a dive, but then, they'd been wanted fugitives at the time so they could hardly be choosy.

Zero stared down into his orange juice, mentally shying away from where his thoughts had been taking him. It was better not to think about the past. Unconsciously, his fingers plucked at the small silver bracelet he was still wearing on his wrist, under the wide hem of the robe's sleeve. Movement jarred him out of his reflections. He realized that Kaname had buttered a piece of toast and slid the plate over to him before returning to his own breakfast.

Zero almost sighed, not up to feeling annoyed at Kaname's constant meddling and not able to deny that the attention was not _entirely _unpleasant. He nibbled at the toast, managing half of it, and finished his orange juice before letting himself flop back to rest on his back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. He still had a headache, but it was slowly improving a little. He _felt _Kaname looking at him and glanced over to see that same note of mild concern in his gaze as had been there earlier in the bathroom.

Kaname had finished eating and he pushed the table a way a little, turning to regard Zero as he remained seated on the edge of the bed. "I could have room service bring up something else if you prefer," he offered.

Zero pressed his hand over his eyes. "Stop it," he muttered softly. "Stop being so damn nice to me, it's freaky and unnatural." _And I don't remotely deserve it, not after what I did to you. _

Kaname smiled faintly in amusement. "You mean because it's more _natural _for me to be bossy and condescending?" he inquired wryly.

That actually wasn't _entirely _what Zero had meant, but Kaname's tone was amused, not offended, so he grinned dryly and let his arms fall to rest above his head, glancing over at Kaname. "Yeah, exactly," he agreed. Zero supposed he should have felt more awkward or uncomfortable at this moment, but he didn't. You couldn't be involved in an intimate relationship with someone, no matter how screwed up it was, and not start to gain a certain comfort level around them.

Kaname was gratified that Zero seemed to feel at ease now, in sharp contrast with the tense way he had behaved at first after the disaster at the party. Kaname turned so he was facing the direction where Zero was sprawled and drew his legs up onto the bed, leaning back against the headboard and resting his arms on his knees. He wanted to apologize to Zero about the party, but he wasn't sure how without making himself vulnerable to opening up that whole can of worms again. So he didn't.

"The Satos invited us to go back tonight as private guests," Kaname remarked instead, tilting his head as he watched Zero. That garnered about the reaction of dismay and distaste that he'd expected and Zero made a face, fists curling by his head.

"Oh, peachy damn wonderful..." the hunter muttered sourly and Kaname couldn't help chuckling. Even if he hadn't had quite as horrible time last night as Zero had, he actually more or less agreed with that sentiment.

"Mm," he agreed dryly. "I told them we were very honored, but had other plans. Actually I had thought we might see some of the city tonight before our flight back, if you feel up to it." Kaname's off-hand tone belied the closeness with which he was watching Zero's reactions.

Zero raised his eyebrows and shot Kaname a slightly surprised look. The pureblood wanted to take him sightseeing? The hunter was even more surprised that he kind of... liked the idea. He hadn't been to this city before, so it could be interesting. But since when had spending time with Kaname become anything close to his idea of a _good _time? Maybe it was just because the alternative was so infinitely worse... maybe.

"Yeah... sure. I guess we could do that," he said after a moment when he realized Kaname was waiting for him to say something. Zero probably imagined the ever so brief flash of an almost pleased expression in Kaname's eyes, but it made him feel like crap again all the same.

Zero bit his lower lip, guilt flickering across his face again. "Kaname, I really _am_ sorry about last night," he murmured, unable to help himself.

Kaname shook his head with a small frown, not wanting to go there. Because whether or not it had been a mistake in the long run, he _wasn't _sorry it had happened. "I told you, its fine," he repeated, glancing down at where his arms rested on his knees and fighting the humiliating urge to tell Zero he'd liked it and he wanted him to do it again sometime. Hell... _now _was a great time... Kaname drew a steadying breath, annoyed at himself, and changed the subject.

"Although you _did _share part of your headache with me, which wasn't very nice..." he added, rubbing his temples and guiding their conversation back to a lighter tone. Actually, he really wasn't much affected anymore by the alcohol he'd imbibed through Zero's blood last night, but he did have a bit of a headache for whatever reason. "Hand me my tea, will you?"

Zero looked confused. "Huh?"

Kaname eyed the hunter as if wondering if he was more hung-over than he'd realized. "You know, _tea,_" he explained with exaggerated patience. "Darkish colored liquid made by soaking leaves from..."

Zero waved his hand impatiently. "I know what _tea _is, Kaname," he interrupted with a roll of his eyes. "I meant the headache thing."

Kaname looked a bit amused again, having already figured that out before Zero said it, but stringing along anyway. "Oh, that. Let's just say your blood alcohol level was criminal."

Zero had a vague memory of Kaname drinking from his neck as he fell asleep and finally understood. He snorted softly. "Well I didn't _ask _you to use me like a bedtime snack..." he pointed out. "And why can't you get your own tea? You're closer," he added, glancing towards the table that had rolled a little away from the bed. All he had to do was sit up and stretch out his arm to reach the tea cup resting near the edge, but Zero wasn't so sure he saw the _sitting up_ part happening anytime soon.

Kaname tipped his head back against the headboard comfortably, indicating an equal unwillingness to budge. "No, I'm not, we're equidistant. And weren't you complaining that I wasn't being bossy enough not long ago? I'm just trying to oblige, honestly, you're so hard to please," the pureblood deadpanned wryly. He could simply have 'pulled' the cup or the table to him, but the light banter was more enjoyable.

Zero snorted and waved his hand vaguely towards the table without getting up, making an intentionally pathetic _I'm trying, it's just so far away _gesture as if he could summon the cup from where it was.

Suddenly, the cup jerked, lurching sideways unexpectedly as if it had been bumped or jostled. It fell over, rolling off the edge of the table and striking Zero's knee on the way down. If the hunter hadn't been so startled his reflexes would have enabled him to catch it as it fell, but instead he felt the irrational urge to bat the cup away from him in alarm as if it were a living creature. He gave a soft, startled cry as hot tea splashed across his thigh and the edge of the bed. The cup hit the floor and Zero scrambled up to sit, cursing and shaking excess tea from the stained lower hem of his robe, pulling the wet terrycloth away from his leg. His heart was pounding.

"What the _hell _was that? Did you do that, Kaname? It wasn't funny," he said through his teeth, but in truth his agitation stemmed from an entirely different reason. He'd felt... he'd felt so strange just now, just for a moment.

Kaname was staring at Zero with an equally surprised look on his face that quickly confirmed what the hunter had already suspected. The pureblood _hadn't_ done that.

"Shit!" Zero muttered, growing distressed. _"Shit!"_ His hands were shaking and he looked at them for a moment before quickly folding his arms as if he could hide them.

"Zero, that wasn't me, _you _did that." In contrast to Zero's apprehension, Kaname looked quite pleased as soon as he got over his initial surprise. He knew that Zero inherited a certain amount of his power by drinking his blood and that that might eventually give him some kind of mild abilities along the lines of Kaname's own, but he hadn't expected it to manifest itself so obviously or so soon. True, it had only been a very little flux, but still. He wondered if adding the blood seal to the mix had increased the effect, and then there was also Zero's hunter heritage to factor in. With so many variables in play, the ex-human was a fairly unique case.

Zero was looking increasingly alarmed... almost scared. "I didn't mean to," he protested, hugging himself tighter.

Kaname couldn't figure out why on earth Zero seemed distressed. "No, but you must have been focusing on the cup and willing it to you, even if only in jest. Can you do it again? Try the plate..." he encouraged almost eagerly. He thought it better not to mention that he suspected that Zero's allowing himself to truly vamp out last night, as he did so rarely, might also have been a catalyst in enabling what had just happened. He'd told Zero before, if the boy would just stop fighting himself, there might be a lot he could do that he didn't even know.

Zero looked at Kaname like he was crazy. "No way! It was... it was just a fluke." He shook his head in denial. "It just fell over." He must have bumped the table with his leg without realizing it. Sure, that made sense... but Zero knew he was lying to himself.

Kaname was quickly becoming frustrated. "Zero, for goodness sake, you're acting like this is a bad thing. Even if all it did was fall over, you _moved _it. Do you realize how incredible it is that you could do that, even by accident?" Kaname remembered when he was little and his powers had started coming in. It would happen a lot like that - accidental use at first, until he learned how to control them.

Zero swallowed. Kaname didn't get it. He didn't understand... the small flux of strange power he had just felt... it wasn't natural. It wasn't human to be able to do these things. It was another reminder of how _un_-human he had become. Zero had resisted his awakening as a vampire with every fiber of his being. He'd hated it when he became strong, saw farther, heard better, moved faster... although he'd gradually accepted and adapted to all of those changes. But now, he felt like he was changing even more... becoming even more of a... a...

Zero looked up towards Kaname, and was suddenly frozen by the expression on his face. Kaname's eyes were shining, almost eager in an unusually unguarded way. Zero rarely saw him excited like this and it was so abnormal that it actually dissipated the habitual fear and self-revulsion that had been building in the ex-human. Kaname was... he was really _happy _for him. The pureblood _really_ thought this was something wonderful.

Zero hesitated. Well... maybe... maybe it wasn't _so_ bad. It was hard to withdraw and feel completely weirded out with Kaname looking at him like that.

"Maybe... maybe I'll try again later. I... I still don't feel too good," he whispered quietly, making a conscious effort to dial back on his unease with this new aspect of himself. Showing his disgust with all things vampire when Kaname looked so damn... open, almost _hopeful_... Zero couldn't do it.

Kaname could tell Zero was trying to be a little more objective than he wanted to be. He took it as a step in the right direction and didn't press him. "Of course," he replied, his tone also quiet. Almost without meaning to, he reached out and lightly cupped Zero's cheek in his palm.

Their eyes caught and held. Zero didn't pull away and for a long, suspended moment, they remained there as if time had stopped. Kaname wasn't sure quite why what had happened pleased him so much actually. Perhaps it was because the more Zero accepted his vampire nature, the better the ex-human's chances were, or perhaps it was simply that deep down he _liked_ the idea that some part of himself had become so inextricably bound with Zero that it was even physically apparent.

Zero's fingers ghosted across the back of Kaname's hand, still captured and captivated by those deep brown eyes. Before he could stop himself, his fingers slid from Kaname's hand to his face, lightly tracing the smooth curve of the pureblood's jaw and neck, playing through the silky brown tresses that lay against his skin. Kaname shuddered softly, lips parting just a little, unintentionally displaying the power that Zero's touch had over him.

Zero's throat felt tight. There were moments... moments of insanity, when his heart ached and he wished badly that they all could have been born in some different world. Some world where he could ever hope to possess the affection of the unfathomable, perilously beautiful soul that sat across from him, some world where he wouldn't have to feel like a fool and a traitor to his heritage for even wishing such a thing. It was crazy and screwed up without a doubt, but he couldn't help it.

"So... um..." Zero said a trifle breathlessly after a few long moments. "Did you have anything specific in mind for what we're going to do today?" He swallowed, trying to turn back to safer topics although he couldn't get his fingers to release from Kaname's hair.

"I don't know..." Kaname murmured, his voice warm and heated like spiced cider wine. The way Zero was looking at him, the unexpected glimpse of hesitant emotion in the silver-amethyst eyes held him captivated. "I could think of a few things..." _And none of them involved leaving this room... _

Zero knew he should stop Kaname as the pureblood leaned into him, warm, familiar lips sliding across his jaw, nibbling his ear, playing with his earrings. Long fingers trailed down the ex-human's chest, finding the loose knot formed by the tie of his robe about his waist and sliding it free. But Zero didn't stop him, instead he shivered, fingers fisting softly in Kaname's hair and pulling him closer.

\--------------------------------------

"Kaname, it's not working right now, all right?"

"You're not even trying," the pureblood returned skeptically as if he'd heard that too many times.

Zero glared at him and shook his head. "I _am, _it's just not _working!_" he growled in frustration and deliberately turned his back on the demanding pureblood seated next to him. Considering they were in the back of a limo, however, there wasn't very far he could go to get away. "Give it a break already, all right? Geez!"

Zero rested his chin on his hand, gazing at the sheets of grey rain pelting the tinted windows as he and Kaname were driven down the familiar roads leading to Cross Academy. The two of them _had_ actually managed to do some sightseeing before their return flight, although they had gotten quite a... delayed... start. Surprisingly enough though, they'd had a pretty decent time seeing the city together. They'd watched street performers, checked out a revolving rooftop restaurant, wandered in a park with a hundred fountains and seen a most uninspiring traveling exhibit of supposedly 'world famous' art. Zero said he could do better and Kaname agreed, the two vampires actually ending up laughing over it as they quickly took their leave.

Zero had made the mistake however, of letting Kaname coerce him into attempting to do again, intentionally, what he had done by accident with the tea cup. With exhausting effort, the ex-human had succeeded in making the teapot rattle and ever since then the pureblood had been insufferable about trying to make him work on the ability, pestering him to attempt to nudge almost everything they saw, from the bowling pins balanced by a street juggler to the buttons on the limousine's stereo.

Sometimes Zero refused, a couple times he actually tried, but after the teapot he hadn't been able to do it again intentionally. He hardly even knew what he was doing when he had done it. He should never have let Kaname talk him into trying it the first time, but he _had_ been under considerable duress...

_Zero panted, fists bunched in the covers, body slick with perspiration as Kaname's mouth trailed warmly down his chest, stopping to lick and suck on a pale, sensitive nipple while his fingers caressed Zero's inner thighs and his heated flesh with devastating sensuality. _

_Zero's body was on fire and he half gasped, half whimpered Kaname's name, hips thrusting into the pureblood's grip of their own volition. Kaname smiled heatedly, mouth continuing its downward journey of slow, passionate kisses across Zero's stomach and abdomen, going lower and lower until he found what he sought. _

_Zero almost screamed when Kaname's hot mouth closed over his throbbing flesh. Kaname groaned in appreciation of his lover's reaction and took him deeper, remembering how good it had felt when Zero did this to him and wanting to give his partner that much delight as well. The intimacy of the act was compelling and after last night... it was impossible for Kaname to feel more vulnerable than he already did, so there was no reason not to indulge his desire to please Zero, to be close to him in every possible way. Kaname's arms curled around Zero's hips, hands gripping his thighs, holding them spread and keeping Zero pinned to the bed as he bobbed his head, sucking, licking and caressing hungrily. Like Zero, _ _this was one thing he'd never actually done before, but as with almost everything the pureblood did, he showed a certain amount of innate talent. _

_Zero went crazy, all but writhing on the bed in mind-bending ecstasy as Kaname tended him very, very thoroughly. He was teetering towards the brink of release when Kaname withdrew his head, holding Zero still in place while lightly licking and kissing him – enough to stimulate and tease, not enough to get him off. _

_"Kaname!" he groaned, half accusing, half begging, fingers tangling in the pureblood's hair. _

_"Mmm..." Kaname murmured against his flesh, making Zero's thighs quiver under his fingers. "You want something?" _

_Zero moaned in assent. God... Kaname wasn't going to make him ask for it, was he? "Y-you know what I want..." he rasped softly, arousal thick and heavy on his words. _

_Yes, Kaname did and the raw acknowledgement of it in the hunter's tone made the pureblood's whole body shudder. "Make something on the table move again, and you can have it..." he promised silkily, tongue flicking with deliberate languidness across the tip of Zero's arousal. _

_"Kaname!" it was definitely accusing and frustrated this time, although Zero's vocabulary seemed to be severely limited at the moment. He couldn't believe Kaname was harping back to _that _at a time like _this!

_"Well, you're obviously feeling better now, so why not? Come on, Zero... just try. But take your time, no hurry. I could do this forever..." he purred as he nuzzled kisses along Zero's groin and blew softly across his wet, throbbing flesh. Kaname was enjoying himself immensely, but he also had a feeling this may be the only way to get Zero to actually try. Proper... _incentive_ could work wonders. _

_Zero groaned helplessly, back arching against the bed, one hand tangled in Kaname's hair, the other in the rumpled sheets. "You are _such _a bastard..." he panted, his frustrated voice laden with too much pleasure for it to carry any bite. _

_"In point of fact, I'm actually not..." Kaname replied amusedly, taking Zero deep again for a moment and savoring the way his whole body jerked with pleasure before he withdrew and returned to teasing. _

_Realizing Kaname was serious, and unable to withstand the delightful, incredible torture, Zero gave in and turned his thoughts to the table, distractedly but urgently trying to make something move. But he didn't know how, and just thinking about it didn't seem to do any good. He whimpered and squirmed, pleading with Kaname that he was trying and he couldn't do it, but the pureblood just kept working him slowly, unimpressed. _

_Desperate, Zero had given up trying and imagined bashing the smug smile off Kaname's face with the teapot. Startlingly, the damn thing had wiggled, rattling and tipping over. It was kind of a rush this time, actually, when he'd seen it happen. _

_Kaname beamed at him in positive delight and went down on him so hard he had Zero screaming with ecstasy again in a matter of heartbeats. Zero didn't stop screaming until he'd spent himself fully and Kaname attentively did not spill a drop. The pureblood lay beside him afterwards and held Zero, cradling _ _him as the boy shivered softly in residual pleasure, kissing the ex-human's neck tenderly and murmuring what a good effort that had been, his whole being fairly radiating pride in the ex-human._

_Zero didn't know if Kaname had actually meant for him to see quite how proud and pleased he was... but he did, and it made him feel warm and yet embarrassed all at the same time. His own arms curled around Kaname, legs tangling with his, drawing him near so he could feel their hearts beating against one another. As almost always happened, Kaname's heartbeat unconsciously synced to his. _

"Maybe it only works when you're properly _motivated, _hm?" Kaname postulated with a small, meaningful little smile. He could see the reflection of Zero's face in the tinted glass and read a shadow of what he was remembering there.

Zero turned back to Kaname with a dry glare. "You mean like when I really, _really _want to hit you in the head with something? Now there's a thought..."

"You'd have to get quite a bit better and show more adeptness to manage that." Kaname's grin widened a little. Considering Zero had yet to do more than make a few dishes rattle or tip over, it would be premature to say that he'd ever be able to channel enough precise power to actually move an object from one place to another, but if he didn't try... then they'd never know, would they? "Try to focus on moving in only one direction at a time for now and on objects with simple surfaces, like radio buttons or dinner plates. Blocks or balls would be ideal; we have some in the gym if you want. The fewer variables in the surface of the object, the easier it is to manipulate," the pureblood informed, having slid easily into the role of teacher again.

Zero rolled his eyes. "Uh huh... got it the first dozen times you told me..." he muttered, exaggerating more than a little. The limo stopped and the driver opened an over-size umbrella as he got out and circled around the car, the umbrella obviously intended for the use of his passengers.

"So if you're such an expert, why don't you use your _magic_ to keep the rain off?" he inquired, partially to needle Kaname, and partially because he was curious as he realized he'd never seen the pureblood do that.

Kaname just shrugged, intentionally treating the question as if it had been serious. "I could, but it's usually not worth the intense effort it would take when an umbrella is perfectly adequate. These skills... it's not like in the movies, you know. You don't just wave your hands and 'magically' create invisible barriers or start fires or spread ice... It can get to the point where it's instinctual, like walking and talking, but like both of those actions it doesn't start that way. It takes effort and practice. None of us can break the laws of nature; we simply have the ability to go a step beyond what is considered normal when it comes to interacting with the elements around us. It's really a matter of perspective. To a chimpanzee, the ability to generate electricity in a power station by creating relative motion between a magnetic field and a conductor would seem like _magic_."

Zero was intrigued by the logic of this, although he frowned as he realized somewhat belatedly that whether intentionally or unintentionally Kaname had kind of just equated humans with chimps.

"But we must still operate within our own limits," Kaname continued, trying to pull on examples that he felt Zero would be able to understand or relate to. "Aido has to extract moisture from the air to form his ice, if he were ever stuck in a desert, that would severely limit his power. In my case, you have to be able to find and grip the surface or molecular structure of an object with your mind in order to affect it. Moving air isn't too hard because even though you have to be aware of the individual air molecules, if you miss a few it doesn't make a difference so long as you catch enough of them to get the others around moving. However, water is different because of its nature. I can't deal with it on a molecular level; I have to go for manipulating its surfaces. But if something is moving rapidly, or amorphous in shape, like thousands of individual falling rain drops or a swirling river, then it would take an exhausting amount of effort to be able to catch all the drops or try to influence the overall flow of the water," the pureblood finally finished the explanation, realizing that it had ended up somewhat long, but having not been able to explain the last without explaining the first. He was trying to not take for granted that Zero should simply know how things worked.

These weren't exactly vampire secrets, as those who had powers were all quite aware of the general way in which they worked, but at the same point they also weren't things that were usually told to or discussed with non-vampires or those below the noble caste. Vampires did not usually outline the scope of their abilities to anyone, save perhaps their protégés for the purposes of instruction, _if_ they trusted them, because with full understanding of strengths came equal understanding of weaknesses and limitations.

Despite his intentional displays of indifference towards Kaname's instruction, Zero found himself quite interested by what the pureblood was saying. He'd never realized that vampire abilities were so much a kind of science in their own way. It both helped him accept them as perhaps a little more natural, and interested him from a hunter's perspective as well. If you knew what your opponent's strengths were and the rubrics under which they worked... you could figure out how to better counter them.

"So then... I take it you couldn't walk on water," Zero said slowly, unable to resist.

Kaname raised an eyebrow at him. He knew Zero was joking, but blithely continued to treat him as if he were serious, knowing it would irritate the hunter. "Well, it depends on how choppy the water is. If it's relatively calm, I could work with the surface tension..."

"Okay, okay, forget I asked!" Zero rolled his eyes, but he was actually a bit amused. He reached for the door handle because the driver was standing patiently outside under the umbrella, waiting for them to indicate that they were ready to disembark. The moment he saw Zero reaching for the door, he got to it first, pulling it open for them and shifting to hold the large umbrella over the two vampires as they got out of the car.

"Trumped by an umbrella..." Zero murmured to Kaname as they hurried down the walk, rain pelting around them and pattering against the protective waterproof surface over them. The ground was saturated and small rivulets of water ran across the sidewalk, indicating that it had probably been raining here for a while.

Kaname eyed Zero in mild exasperation. It wasn't like he'd said he _couldn't_ do it, just that it wasn't worth the effort. "When you can do more than spill tea, _then _you can talk..." he returned smoothly, his lips quirking just slightly.

Zero turned up the collar of his jacket against the chill of the rain, hiding his small smile.


	14. Between You and Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _A/N: I am totally excited about the changes happening in the manga regarding Zero's new abilities, etc as revealed in Chapter 42. Especially since I already felt like that was a right direction to head, hence what I've been doing with it in this story. Since this story is already wildly AU, however, I'm of course going to continue on with my own ideas and my version things that have already been set up. Although at some point, maybe after this story, I may have to find a way to incorporate the vine thing into the eventual progression... *grins and drools before snapping out of it*_
> 
> Also, I'm continuing to have fun playing with my ideas regarding hunter and vampire charms, hopefully this doesn't become tiresome to anyone. I also believe that hunters have natural abilities they can tap into in certain ways, but as Zero is currently trying to muddle through all this on his own, revelations come slowly. Anyway, on with the chapter...   
> 

**Chapter Fourteen: "Between You and Me" **

"Ah, too slow..." Kaname's voice was somewhere between amused and lightly taunting as the pureblood materialized behind Zero. The hunter dropped to the floor in a tight roll to avoid the swift jab aimed at his back, springing up a few feet away. Launching himself at the smirking brunette with vampire speed he delivered a rapid cross-punch with his right hand followed up by a jab with the left. Kaname blocked both with his forearms, but hadn't had time to evade this time.

Kaname's guard never wavered, but Zero didn't let up, pressing hard and fast as he kept swinging until he finally darted back to avoid a reciprocal attack. He _shoved _at Kaname with his mind, mostly without meaning to. The impact on the pureblood was small, but Kaname did feel it, and gave a mental nod of approval. It seemed like Zero was better at using his gift unconsciously than consciously.

"Better..." Kaname's grin was more of a goad than an encouragement and he surely knew as much as the two opponents circled one another on the gym's sparring mats. Kaname pushed off with his left foot, crossing the distance between them in a heartbeat. It was too fast to see, but Zero still reacted in time, throwing up his forearm to deflect the pureblood's incoming fist and twisting at the same time, taking himself out of the line of easy attack and angling for Kaname's unprotected back, attempting to put his opponent on the defensive.

Kaname shifted swiftly to cover the momentary vulnerability, catching Zero's arm as they passed one another and twisting it, throwing the other boy off-balance. Zero immediately changed course and tried to compensate, rotating quickly in the direction where Kaname's grip would be the weakest and most awkward to maintain. But the pureblood was not dislodged and a swift jerk threw the hunter from his feet. Zero rolled with it, letting the momentum free his arm as he tumbled across the mat and recovered enough to come up on one knee.

Kaname didn't give him time to recover. He was already in front of him. A swift kick to the stomach that Zero was not in a position to block threw the hunter backwards, back connecting with the mat, breath firmly knocked out of him. The pureblood followed him down, one knee pressed against Zero's chest, digging into his sternum, the other trapping his arm as Kaname applied light pressure to the ex-human's neck with his hand. The overall pressure wasn't enough to really hurt him, but it was enough to immobilize.

Zero's chest heaved from exertion, his skin plastered with perspiration. With a resigned scowl he clapped his free hand palm down against the mat, signaling that he knew he was pinned and conceded the bout to Kaname.

The pureblood rose immediately, rolling gracefully to his feet and extending a hand towards Zero. Zero didn't take it, rolling up to his knees and then his feet on his own. Kaname had expected this and let his hand drop back to his side. Both boys were in tank-tops and loose pants this time, Kaname's black as he seemed to prefer, and Zero's a lighter shade of grey.

"You're getting much better. Want to try again, or you had enough for today?" Kaname inquired. His encouragement was a bit of a double edged sword, but even so, it was sincerely meant. Zero was a very, very quick learner and had already come a long way.

Zero rubbed his throbbing chest with a closed fist as he caught his breath. His palms stung and burned and he resisted the urge to flex his aching fingers. Kaname had glanced curiously at his slightly reddened, almost blistered palms when he'd showed up today, but he hadn't offered any explanations and Kaname hadn't asked, no doubt assuming that Zero had done something stupid and whatever it was would heal rapidly. He couldn't know of course that Zero's hands had been like that since last night, nor that what the hunter had done to himself had been deliberate. Zero just hoped the pain would prove worth it.

Wincing at the stabbing ache in his ribs, Zero drew a careful breath. They were most likely only bruised but it still hurt. He knew Kaname pulled his punches when they were sparring, else the ex-human would probably end up with broken bones. Zero supposed he should be glad for that, but the pureblood's cock-sure attitude grated on him, as did his inability to even get close to Kaname. At least he could make other vampire break a sweat... the hunter's gaze was errantly captured by one of the small beads of perspiration trickling down the side of Kaname's neck, tracing across ivory skin to nestle in the hollow of his collarbones.

Zero shook his head, brushing his wet hair from his flushed face with one hand and trying to recapture his treacherous libido, which was always kicked into high gear by their fighting matches. _Stop it... _

Kaname was looking at him like he was perfectly aware of how Zero was feeling, and was probably feeling the same way. Zero's frown deepened into a determined scowl and without answering the earlier question, he launched at Kaname, grabbing the pureblood's arm and hooking a foot behind his leg, trying to take him down.

Kaname recovered just in time, dancing back to keep his balance and grappling with Zero, using the boy's momentum against him as he spun them around and sent Zero tumbling away from him. Kaname wiped his brow with the back of his hand, a small grin playing just at the edge of sight. He knew Zero was exhausted, but the hunter still wouldn't give up.

"Going for three pins in one day? Okay..." Kaname mocked smoothly as he tracked his opponent's movements. As infuriating as he could be, the ribbing was mostly good-natured and there was even a very faint edge of playfulness to his taunting and prodding as he egged Zero to keep on trying when any sane person would have given up, knowing they hadn't a chance.

Zero, however, never accepted that mentality. It didn't matter that Kaname was a dozen times stronger and faster than he was and had wiped the floor with him consistently for the past two weeks since they had come back from their trip to visit the Satos. To give up and no longer spar with the other vampire would be tantamount to admitting defeat, and Zero wouldn't do that. He would keep coming back, no matter how many times Kaname knocked him on his butt, until he could achieve his goal. Kaname actually admired that. Zero didn't know when to quit, and although that could be a weakness, it could also be an incredible strength.

Zero had a method to his madness today, however. His skin and muscles were burning with the heat of his exertion, his clothes and hair were soaked with perspiration and he ached from the pounding he'd already taken, but he wasn't the only one who was showing signs of wearying. Kaname was trying to hide that his breath was coming faster and harder than was normal for him, his dark hair was clinging to the moisture slicking his face and neck and Zero could hear the blood pounding rapidly through the other's veins. Kaname was tired; he just didn't let it show. Zero had learned this about Kaname. To show weakness was to _be_ weak in the pureblood's eyes, but the hunter was slowly starting to be able to read his more subtle signs. Those signs which now told him that Kaname was just tired enough that maybe it was time to try what he'd been thinking about trying the past few days.

Even without bringing his extra abilities into play, Kaname had a massively unfair advantage and the playing field needed to be leveled a bit. The pureblood had told him he could use _any_ power he was able to find in their matches... he hadn't specified it had to be _vampire_ in origin.

Zero blocked and spun as Kaname came after him, his knees buckling ever so slightly as he forced his body to move swifter than it wanted to. If he was going to do this, he'd better do it fast. He wasn't going to be able to keep this up very long in his current state of exhaustion. He didn't fully block Kaname's next attack, the pureblood sliding under his defenses and landing a glancing blow to his side. Zero winced, and let the momentum spin him into Kaname. Normally this would have been a very bad idea, as Kaname's arms almost immediately wrapped around his body, seeking to pin him. But this time, Zero had _let_ it happen. Kaname didn't realize he was being set up; thinking his opponent was just worn out and his reflexes were lagging.

The pureblood was about to offer a lightly taunting remark to that effect when he suddenly felt Zero's unusually hot, blistered palms press flat against his stomach, having pushed up under the hem of the black tank-top he was wearing. The skin on skin contact sent delicious shivers through his body, but that wasn't what made him freeze. There was no tactical advantage to what Zero was doing, which immediately put the pureblood's senses on alert, screaming that somehow this was a trap. But he didn't know how, and it was already too late.

"_Aduro_!" Zero gasped, breathlessly, focusing intently on his contact with Kaname's skin and invoking the hunter charm that he'd painstakingly prepared ahead of time and stored in his own hands, waiting to be invoked. He'd seen Yagari prepare charms like that before, when he was young. He'd been taught the basics of how it worked although he had not attempted it since being turned. The problem with being a vampire and a hunter had made itself apparent in the way that the charm worked against him from the instant it was taken into his body, blistering his skin and making it sore. However, the fact that it remained localized and didn't spread further than his aching palms also spoke to how strong his hunter heritage was, that he was still able to do things like this, was able to bear both vampire and hunter nature inside him equally.

Kaname started as hot, burning pain flooded into him through Zero's hands on his stomach. It felt like his insides were on fire, the charm lighting a flame underneath his skin that raced across his body. He reeled back, shoving at Zero's chest and shoulders to push him away.

Zero's hands screamed agony at him as he released the charm, but he had Kaname on the retreat and he wasn't going to let the very rare opportunity get away. He shoved backwards hard, following up with a swift blow aimed at the pureblood's jaw. Kaname twisted, but caught the blow with his shoulder, stumbling backwards as he tried to shake off the shock of the raw fire tracing through him. He didn't know what the hell Zero had just done, but he was off balance and a fine thread of alarm wrapped through him as control of the situation slipped from his grasp.

Zero swung again, but this time Kaname blocked him, forcing past the pain once he recovered from the shock. The pureblood had been put on his back foot though, and he was on the defensive this time, blocking the flurry of skilled jabs and cuts only just in time as he was driven backwards. His body was still on fire and it was hard to focus. A few blows weren't completely deflected and connected with him more than he let on.

The two vampires grappled and fell to the mat together. Kaname felt Zero's hand curl against his side where his shirt had ridden up, the hunter's touch still painful to him, and a small, irrational burst of panic welled in him unintentionally. There was something about having hunter arts used on him that set off deeply ingrained, instinctual responses. Before he could stop himself, Kaname _shoved _Zero away from him with his mind, sending him skidding sideways across the mat as the pureblood scrambled backwards.

Zero tumbled a few turns before he came to a stop. He lay still for a moment before slowly pushing himself up onto an elbow. His entire body hurt and he cast a steady, slightly triumphant, slightly accusing look towards Kaname. He might have won this round if Kaname hadn't started using his mental powers and he wasn't going to go any further if the pureblood was going to cheat.

Kaname had pulled up to sit, slightly hunched with one arm wrapped around his flaming middle as he regarded Zero with a slightly unreadable look that managed to mix surprise, pride, anger and guilt. He hadn't meant to use his powers on Zero. It had been their agreement, rules that he himself had set down, that he would invoke nothing but his physical strength and speed in their matches. But Kaname hadn't counted on feeling that odd panic at being burned by the hunter charm in this manner. It was a disturbing lapse on his part that Zero had gotten him so far off his center that he'd reacted before he thought. Was it really _that _disconcerting for him to feel like the situation hadn't been completely under his control? Zero had been facing much worse odds from the start of their training and had simply been throwing himself against them relentlessly. _Geez, Kuran, you're pathetic. _

Kaname looked away, not wishing to display how vulnerable he'd felt for half a moment there. "That was good," he said instead, struggling back towards calm objectivity. He was both pleased and displeased that Zero had pulled that on him. Displeased because he'd been caught off guard and almost bested... but pleased for the exact same reason. He was proud of Zero's initiative, and as he got over his initial reaction, he was intrigued by whatever it was that had been done, immediately guessing that it had to do with the reason the hunter's hands had looked almost burned when he'd shown up in the gym today.

"You cheated," Zero remarked as he struggled wearily up to sit. He was done in, but if the half-grin on his face was anything to go by, he appeared mollified by knowing that he'd caught Kaname off guard and managed to at least slightly shift the impassible dynamic of their previous matches.

Knowing it would be poor form to be a bad sport after having handed Zero his ass for the past couple weeks, Kaname grinned wryly as he pushed slowly to his feet, still holding his middle. "It was unintentional. You surprised me. You should feel complimented that I perceived you as that much of a threat."

Zero gave a breathless snort that was half chuckle. _There_ was a prime example of Kuran logic for you. Actually though... he knew Kaname was right and he did take a certain satisfaction in that knowledge. He knew Kaname would never let him catch him that way a second time, the pureblood was far too quick and clever, but that just meant that Zero would have to start trying to get inventive.

"Although one could question how fair it is to bring hunter charms into a vampire fight..." Kaname added, but his tone was more wry than chagrined. If this was anyone but Zero, he would have taken serious issue with that breach, but Zero being both vampire and hunter made things different. Why shouldn't he use what nature gave him? Kaname was fully prepared to rise to the challenge; perhaps he was even anticipating it.

"You never said I couldn't use them," Zero pointed out, still looking satisfied even as he winced in pain as he pushed himself to his feet. He was going to be feeling this match for a while... but it felt good.

Kaname raised his eyebrows, forcing himself to let go of his middle and go for the water bottles they'd left at the edge of the mats. His skin was still on fire, the burning sensation not yet relenting, but he chose not to let on, expecting it to start dissipating soon.

"No, I didn't," he agreed, tossing Zero his water bottle and uncapping his own, taking a long sip. Actually, it would make things a little more even and interesting between them. Kaname couldn't work hunter charms and had little knowledge of them beyond the basics. Purebloods usually didn't have to worry about being targeted by the Association after all. It would be an interesting challenge for him to keep ahead of the game if Zero started using hunter arts in their matches and he wasn't allowed to use his powers in return. Given the sometimes uncertain situation posed by the politics of the Hunter's Association, however, this was probably a very useful thing for him to practice and there was no reason their sparring sessions shouldn't be beneficial for both of them.

"I can't help you with your hunter skills, Zero," Kaname admitted as he regarded the other boy thoughtfully. "Only your vampire ones. But feel free to use both, it should make things interesting." The pureblood smirked. "Maybe you'll finally start presenting me with an actual challenge soon, huh? That would be nice..."

Zero caught his water bottle and shot Kaname a withering look as he twisted the cap off and drained the bottle in several thirsty gulps. He wiped his mouth on the back of his hand. He was beyond exhausted, but at least his hands didn't hurt anymore. The burning seemed to have gone away after the charm was released. "You stop cheating and you'll see how challenging I can be," he returned wryly.

Kaname grinned enigmatically. "I look forward to it."

Calling it a day, the two vampires headed for the showers. Zero was used to seeing the black and blue bruises on his skin as the warm water sluiced his aching body. They would fade in a couple hours. Today at least he felt pretty damn good. His body was aching like mad, but the sense of accomplishment he felt helped dull the pain. It wasn't just that he'd taken Kaname by surprise and managed to wipe that smug smirk off his face, although, yeah, that was a big part of it. But it felt good to tap back into his hunter heritage as well, to hold onto that part of who he still was. To know that despite what had happened to him, he still _could _tap into it. He'd been almost afraid to try for so long, afraid to find that becoming a vampire had taken that away from him.

And... was it so wrong of him, to feel good about the surprise and pride he'd seen flicker through Kaname's eyes too? The pureblood had been pleased deep down, he could tell. Zero closed his eyes, having long ago refused to try to over-analyze why Kaname's approval meant anything to him. He let the water run down his body. He was so tired; maybe he'd go take a nap. He heard the water still running in one of the stalls when he shuffled out of his and toweled off.

Resisting the embarrassing, unbidden urge to slide into Kaname's shower with him, Zero sighed and dressed before quietly exiting the locker room alone.

Kaname winced under the pressure of the water, staring down in puzzlement at the raw, angry blisters spread across his abdomen. The blisters stopped there, but his skin was reddened and painful almost all the way up his chest. It should have gone away already, shouldn't it? His body didn't hold onto injury this long. It must have something to do with it being hunter related. He should have asked Zero, he supposed... but he didn't want to display his ignorance on the subject and he honestly thought it would simply go away.

Wincing as he toweled off, Kaname figured he would just have to wait it out. He shrugged carefully into his clothes. He was pleased at the direction Zero's training was going; he really was going to end up very useful in many ways. But at the same time, Kaname couldn't help feeling a note of habitual caution mingled with his enthusiasm.

The closer he and Zero became, the more dangerous of a weakness he was for the pureblood. Today was a reminder of that. Sometimes, Kaname felt like he was giving himself away to Zero piece by piece and it was kind of disconcerting. Not only was his life and sanity tied to Zero's mood swings and whether or not the hunter felt like living today, but now... Kaname was helping Zero become very strong and very dangerous. He was teaching him how to fight a pureblood, was letting him practice hunter charms and learn the effects they could have even on one of undiluted blood. No hunter had ever had such an opportunity before. No hunter could ever hope to have faced down a pureblood, tried a charm on them and lived to tell about it, much less be welcome to come back for a repeat match. There were things about vampires that hunters didn't know... and Kaname was teaching Zero all about them.

Kaname had no guarantees that the young hunter wouldn't use all that against him some day, or tell it to others who would. His small moment of alarm back there during sparring forced him to consider these things again, things he preferred not to spend too much time pondering. He was leaving himself very open here and that wasn't entirely wise. Still... he'd weighed the risks and continued to decide to take this chance. He found it oddly hard to believe that Zero would betray him. If he judged Zero's character at all rightly, the boy's sometimes overly strict moral code probably wouldn't allow it. Despite all the fiction between them, Zero had never betrayed a confidence.

Setting these troubling thoughts aside for the moment, Kaname left the gym, heading back towards the main dormitory. By the time he reached the stairs leading to the upper level rooms, he knew something was wrong. He had to stop at the top of the stairs. It had been much more difficult mounting them than he liked. He was out of breath and in agony now. There was no one around, so Kaname allowed himself a moment of weakness, leaning against the wall, arm curling around his stomach as he breathed through his teeth. _Damn it! _The burning wasn't getting better, it was growing worse. It felt like it was spreading, working its way through his body and setting more of his flesh on fire. It was bad. Very bad.

What had Zero done to him? He needed to find out, but he wasn't about to go ask the hunter.

Kaname heard footsteps approaching from a distance and quickly pulled himself together, pushing away from the wall and forcing a calm placidity across his pained features. He already knew who the approaching person was, and it gave him an idea.

The pureblood remained where he was until the blonde vampire turned a corner, coming into view of the stairs. Aido slowed and pulled up when he saw Kaname standing at the top, looking very much like he was waiting for him.

Kaname smelled like a fresh shower. A nice scent on him. Everything was a nice scent on him. Not smelling Kiriyu on him was nice too, although Aido thought he might know why he never did anymore... but he wasn't certain and he wasn't about to ask either of them, especially not Kaname. Kaname hadn't been upset with him when he and Kiriyu came back from out of town, and that had been enough.

"Kaname-sama," he greeted with a smile. "Can I do something for you?" Kaname had that look like when he wanted something, but was waiting for someone else to offer first. Aido always tried to oblige promptly.

"Maybe you can," Kaname replied, beginning to walk slowly down the hall, the open invitation for Aido to join him obvious. The younger vampire did.

"But first, I wanted to thank you," Kaname said quietly, his gaze resting on the blonde with a faint mixture of warmth and amusement that quickly grew upon seeing the other's reaction to the simple words.

Aido looked shocked, flustered and pleased all at the same time. "What for?" he inquired before he could stop himself, then looked like he wondered if he'd spoken out of turn. His eager un-sureness was endearing.

Kaname smiled and held up his arm, letting his long sleeved shirt pull back enough from his wrist to show the thin silver chain he was wearing - Aido's gift, which he hardly ever took off. "For this," he said simply, his smile widening slightly as Aido's ears flushed pink.

"Oh, um... I hope you didn't think I was overstepping. I just wanted..." Aido didn't know what to say, he was more than a little surprised at having the subject brought up.

Kaname shook his head, cutting off Aido's embarrassed explanations. He understood the blonde's motives and he was genuinely grateful for the freedom the bracelets gave him. "No, quite the opposite. I appreciate your thoughtfulness. And I wanted to let you know that they seem to work _quite_ well."

Kaname couldn't help the bit of a teasing light that came into his eyes, despite the pain that he was suppressing. "You did a remarkable job with them."

Predictably, Aido flushed a little more, but he seemed very pleased at the compliment, fairly radiating happiness. "Thank you, Kaname-sama, I'm glad you find it... useful."

"I do. Actually, your knowledge in that area is what I was interested in talking to you about," Kaname admitted as they turned down one hallway and into another, heading for Kaname's rooms, Aido now suspected. "What do you know about hunter charms?"

Aido seemed a little surprised at the question, but quickly gave it some thought. Truth was, his interest centered on vampire arts, since vampires couldn't work strictly hunter charms, and visa-versa, but he didn't want to appear unknowledgeable in front of Kaname. "There are some charms common to both hunters and vampires, and some that are uniquely suited to one or the other... was there something specific you wanted to know?" Aido wasn't sure why Kaname was asking such an odd question, but he was glad to provide any information he could.

Kaname shrugged as if it wasn't very important, letting on that he was merely being inquisitive. "I was curious about one with an invoking word of _aduro._ Ever heard of it?"

Aido's brow crinkled in thought. "Well, _aduro _means to kindle, or to burn, so I'm going to assume it has something to do with fire..." he speculated aloud. Kaname had already surmised that much, but he remained quiet, letting Aido think.

The young noble actually knew a bit about fire and ice related charms as he and Kain had always been interested in seeing how close the non-gifted might be able to come to their powers. The answer was that no charm could ever hold a candle to the natural abilities of high-blood vampires, but Aido tried to pull on some of that old knowledge now. He didn't know what Kaname was after, so he simply told him everything he could think of on the topic.

"I don't know about hunters, but most of the vampire charms that deal with fire are two part-processes - first to kindle the fire and then to put it out. Would you like me to research that particular one that you mentioned?" he offered quickly, brightening slightly at the prospect of making up for not knowing off the top of his head.

Kaname nodded, doing an admirable job of staying casual despite the fire that was eating through him. "Yes, do that. Let me know as soon as possible, all right?" _Especially the putting it out part... _

Aido nodded, all thoughts of whatever else he'd been about to do easily shelved at the prospect of doing something for Kaname. "Of course, I'll go check it out right now."

"Thank you, Aido. Oh, I did have one more question for you, since I'm picking your brain for charm lore..." Kaname's tone was amused, but there was a sudden seriousness to his eyes that gave Aido a bit of pause. "I'm certain you are familiar with the pureblood / ex-human binding process?"

Aido fixed Kaname with a quiet, questioning look. "I'm familiar with the idea of it, yes. But that's not a charm; it's a power unique to purebloods. If there's a process to it beyond an act of the will, I'm afraid it's not something that would ever have been put down on paper or shared with anyone outside of pureblood circles," he said quietly. Purebloods could do it in a matter of mere moments, it seemed to be innate and instinctual, part of their biology; he'd never stopped to consider the actual science behind how it worked and he found he didn't want to either. There were no studies made on pureblood powers or strengths, only legends and rumors. No one questioned things like that or tried to dissect them, even in this day and age; it would seem irreverent and disrespectful.

"I know," Kaname replied simply. He didn't seem entirely at ease with his question himself, but he felt he needed to ask it. He needed to know his options. "But what I'm wondering is if you've ever heard of it being possible to bind someone and yet leave their will intact?" he inquired, looking intently at Aido. He'd looked into the matter in the past, but without much success and he had set it aside. Aido seemed to have a gift for these things, however, and that was a valuable resource Kaname wasn't going to ignore. People sometimes thought that purebloods knew everything. They didn't of course, they were simply well practiced at making use of the resources available to them to find out that which they wanted to know. Like Kaname was doing now. There was a reason to surround yourself with people of diverse talents after all.

Aido wasn't really sure he liked this whole line of questioning, but considering that Kaname was actually coming to _him _looking for information about something, he was wracking his brains for the best answers possible.

"I... I don't know," he admitted slowly, hating to have to do so. "I've heard you can leave the mind intact and bind the body, but that still requires the binding of the will." He once again wasn't quite sure what Kaname was after. It sounded like the pureblood was asking about binding someone so that they could be controlled some of the times, but didn't have to be all of the time. But that didn't make sense because purebloods already had that power over other vampires innately, so Kaname must be asking about something that went a little deeper than that.

"I can research that too if you wish it," Aido offered earnestly, feeling bad that both the things Kaname asked of him he was not in a position to be able to immediately answer. Although on this one, he still wasn't sure why Kaname was asking _him _in the first place_. _This was pureblood stuff... didn't he already know? But then again, Kaname hadn't entirely been raised by purebloods, had he?

Kaname nodded slowly. He felt perspiration drip down the back of his collar again. He was keeping the pain he was in out of his expression, but his body was going to start betraying him soon. He needed to get to his rooms where he could be alone. "I would appreciate that. Let me know what you find. No rush though, I would prefer you to direct your attention to the other matter first. Send whatever information you find up to my room." Kaname turned and started to walk away, then paused, shooting Aido a look that the younger vampire almost would have categorized as troubled... maybe even... guilty. "And Aido... don't say anything about the binding matter to anyone."

Aido shook his head. "No, of course not, Kaname-sama," he agreed. Part of him was elated at being entrusted with a task, a secret confidence from Kaname, thrilled by the trust that imparted. But... another small, reluctant part of the noble was a trifle unsettled about what that task entailed. Aido was a little too smart to not figure out why Kaname might be asking about such things. What he didn't understand was why that knowledge should at all bother him.

He watched Kaname disappear into his rooms, then turned and headed back for the stairs, intending to go straight to the library. The charm question at least should be a fairly simple one, and he wanted to get it answered as soon as possible.

\--------------------------------------

As soon as he was safe inside his rooms, Kaname stripped out of his shirt and tossed it on the bed. Outwardly, the flushed rash on his skin hadn't changed, but inwardly, the pain was intensifying. In the bathroom, he pressed a cold washcloth to his stomach, leaning on the sink edge and gritting his teeth. This wasn't fun. He wondered if Zero had known he was going to leave him in this much pain, or if he hadn't been fully familiar with the charm he'd used. Kaname knew the boy's hunter training was far from complete or comprehensive.

_Damn..._ maybe he ought to encourage Zero to attend some of the hunter classes here on campus. Except unfortunately for the most part, the hunter class was all junior high level. The program was fairly newly established and they didn't have upperclassmen yet. He knew Zero would only feel out of place. If being the only vampire in the group wouldn't have been enough to already make him feel out of place.

Zero thought Kaname didn't know, but the pureblood had seen them through the window yesterday. He'd seen the group of young hunters out for a walk giving Zero wary looks as they skirted by him when he passed. They knew what he was and they only saw a vampire, one of the walking dead who were just marking time until they fell and needed to be eliminated by someone like them. They didn't see him as one of their own. Not all of them were like that, Kaname knew. There were some who really tried to give Zero a chance, but Zero's antisocial behavior didn't make it easy to reach out to him. Still, in the past, several of the more wary hunter students had gone so far as to complain to the headmistress about Zero living in the Sun Dorm, instead of in the Moon Dorms with the others of _his kind. _Coexistence wasn't easy for anyone. For some, it was crueler than others.

Kaname had seen Zero pull into himself when the group passed, and some silent part of his heart bled. He would have gone to Zero... but the boy would only have been angry at his interference and pushed him away. After all... Kaname symbolized the entire source of the hunter's problems and pain.

Balling his fist and breathing through his teeth, the pureblood focused on moving beyond the pain, controlling it. He wondered if he'd done the right thing, asking Aido about the binding issue. Zero had already had so much taken away from him; it wasn't that he _wanted_ to bind him. Yet every now and again a little voice nagged at him, asking why not? Why not make it so that Zero no longer battled with himself over what he was? Why not make it so that he could just be happy and content with his life? Why not if it would give Zero confidence to not care about the other half of the world that wouldn't accept him? And why not remove the threat that the ex-human posed to the pureblood's very soul? He would never be like Seiji, he'd never suffer that Zero be treated as anything less than royalty by anyone. He'd be so good to Zero if only the boy would let him...

Kaname sighed and reached into the bathroom cabinet for a burn gel that was formulated to help vampires after suffering too much sun exposure. Not his problem at the moment, but the soothing ointment was cooling at least as he spread it on his blistered skin. Maybe he was lying to himself. Maybe the real reason he toyed with the idea of binding Zero was because his troubled thoughts from earlier hadn't completely left him, and he was afraid of them. Afraid of how much of himself he was slowly but surely surrendering to the hunter. Ever since the night of the party, when he'd let Zero have his way with him, Kaname had been becoming increasingly aware of how much control over him the hunter really had. A look, a touch, a word... and Zero could make Kaname's whole world stop and revolve around him without even trying. Zero's moods and his perceived acceptance or rejections were beginning to have a noticeable effect on Kaname's disposition and emotions. In a way, it was no different than he used to feel about Yuki, but with her it had never seemed a dangerous thing and Kaname didn't make that connection. Deep down, the pureblood was frightened. What was happening to him? How far would it go if he didn't put a stop to it?

If he bound Zero, it would solve so many problems... but it could also destroy everything. So Kaname wanted options. Not that he was going to use them, he told himself. He just wanted to know what they were. For someone who was used to complete control, and used to needing that control in order to assure survival for him and everyone who depended on him, it was unsettling to be confronted with a situation that left him at so many loose ends. Normal vampires weren't as much trouble as Zero was, normal vampires he could control if he really wanted to. He couldn't seem to do that with Zero, not like he could with the others anyway. He didn't know why, maybe it was the hunter factor in play. Shizuka certainly had been able to command him, but then, she was the one who had turned him, and Kaname didn't have that.

Kaname closed his eyes against the flood of unwelcome thoughts. In his heart, they felt disturbingly close to betraying Zero and it was all too troubling, so he shoved them to the back of his mind yet again. Zero was really starting to blossom in their training, seeming to grab back onto life again, even if somewhat hesitantly. There might be no need for him to be worrying about any of this.

Heading over to his bed, Kaname lay down on his back, breathing shallowly and staring up at the ceiling.

\--------------------------------------

Dark rain pattered steadily against the tall, vaulted windows adorning one wall of the library, almost invisible in the darkness of the night outside save for where the lights inside illuminated their path as they sheeted down the window panes. No one inside the library took much notice. It had been raining pretty consistently for the past few weeks now. Not entirely unusual for this time of the year, although the excessive accumulation this season was already proving worrisome to the lower lying surrounding areas. News reports about swollen rivers and broken levies were becoming the norm the past few days, but Cross Academy, safe on some of the highest ground in the vicinity, rode out the soggy conditions with little serious impact. Although the lake had grown significantly, now encompassing much of what had formerly been picnic fields for the students. Not that there was much picnicking going on anyway with all the rain.

Zero stopped to watch the darkened water sluice down the glass panes for a minute before making his way over to the long rows of bookshelves that filled the massive library. No major tests were eminent at this point in the term, so the library wasn't overly full. There were a few vampire students working on papers or seeking a little quite time with a favorite author, but they didn't pay the hunter much mind. They were used to seeing Zero hanging around the Moon Dorms and by now, almost all of them knew that he was Kaname's protégé, so they at least treated him with respect, no matter how chilly and dismissive it may be.

Zero would have preferred to use the more crowded and hectic school library housed in the class buildings, but they would not have the kind of texts he was looking for, so he had no choice but to come here. At least it looked like it would be pretty quiet.

He resisted a yawn as he found the sections he was looking for and started scanning the titles on book spines. He'd intended to take a nap, but found he hurt too much to sleep. He thought he might actually have a cracked rib since it was taking longer than usual to stop hurting. Besides... the school guardians weren't pleased when he wandered in and out of the Sun Dorms at all hours of the night. They didn't appreciate the nocturnal shift in his schedule and said it was disruptive to the other students. It was bitter-sweetly ironic, really, being lectured by the prefects like that, but Zero actually tried not to give them a hard time... for the sake of things he couldn't bear to think about. So he had opted to come here instead and either nap in the back – libraries were always good for that – or get in a little reading up on hunter arts. He knew they had such books here. The hunters and vampires were supposed to share this library, although the hunters never came near it since it was located in the Moon Dorm. There was talk of getting them separate accommodations, but it was still just talk.

Zero had come here before, looking for how to prepare the charm he'd used today. Given the success he'd had, he wanted to know more. He stared blankly at the large gap in the row of books directly where the volumes he as interested in should have been. Someone had taken them all off the shelf.

The ex-human frowned. From the amount of dust the books had been gathering before he found them, he'd not thought they were getting much use. Had Kaname had them removed? Maybe, but that didn't really make sense so he wandered out of the shelves and walked down the rows, scanning the book return carts to see if any of them were waiting to be re-shelved. He didn't feel like going up to the vampire librarian and asking about hunter volumes. He'd rather not broadcast what he was looking for in present surroundings.

Near the very back of the room, he caught sight of a familiar figure seated at one of the long mahogany tables, surrounded by books. Aido was leaning on one elbow as he poured studiously over the large, ancient tome he had open in front of him. One graceful index finger traced down lines of text that looked hand-written in some Slavic language Zero didn't recognize. Zero's attention was caught, however, when he noticed the other books stacked up on the table near Aido's elbow.

There were his missing hunter texts. Zero's eyebrows rose slightly as he wondered what Aido was doing with them. He made his way over and plucked the book he was particularly interested in from the stack.

Aido, who had apparently been completely absorbed in what he was reading, started slightly and looked up.

Zero held up the book. "You done with this?" he inquired.

Aido looked surprised to see him. Maybe even a little flustered for half a moment and Zero's eyes narrowed.

"Hm? Oh..." Aido recovered himself and nodded as he realized that it was very unlikely that Kiriyu could read a word of the text in the book currently open before him. "For the moment. But don't check it out; I may want to refer to it again."

Zero gave him a dry look at being told what to do and set the book back down, gesturing to the others piled nearby. "What about these?"

Aido nodded distractedly, his finger keeping his place in the text open before him. "Those too. You know, usually one has a pile of books because they are using them, Kiriyu," he commented a trifle tartly. Zero's presence was obviously annoying him.

Zero regarded the blond with an irritated, stony expression and deliberately pulled out the nearest chair, letting it scrape loudly on the floor before dropping into it, across from the noble.

"Really? And here I thought it was just to make you look smart." Zero pulled the book he'd selected before across the table to him and opened the heavy volume on the table with a soft thump, making no effort to be quiet or unobtrusive.

Aido gave him a peeved look. "I don't _look _smart," he retorted, then scowled as Zero's silent, half smirk told him he'd just fallen into a word trap on that one. The noble bristled in irritation. "What are you _doing?_" he demanded as Zero blissfully ignored him, head bent over the pages of the book he had opened.

"What does it look like? I'm reading. You said you're using these books still, so fine. I'll just read them here." Zero said simply, but Aido could hear the challenge in his voice. Kiriyu was egging him to say forget it and tell him to just take the bloody books. Aido could have. He was actually done with his research on the hunter charm and had already written down a brief, comprehensive report of his findings – preparation, application, invocation and revocation – and delivered them to Kaname's rooms. The pureblood had sounded like he was napping and had asked Aido to just slide it under the door. So he had and then he'd returned to his pile of books here and the other research he was doing for the pureblood, which was why he hadn't wanted Zero to see what he was reading.

But to tell Zero to take the books would be to give in, and Aido wasn't about to give the irritating ex-human anything he wanted at the moment. "Fine," Aido said coolly. "You do that. Try not to disturb my bookmarks."

Zero ignored him, focusing on the book. He didn't _really _want to sit here and study with Aido, but once the challenge had been issued, they were both bound into it, neither one about to walk away first. He turned a page as loudly as was physically possible.

The two vampires studiously ignored each other for a while as they focused on their respective books, but Aido was finding it hard to keep his thread of concentration. It wasn't just that Zero was annoying him, although he was, but it also felt incredibly awkward reading what he was reading with Zero sitting across from him.

The ancient volume was a pureblood's memoirs from around 1075 AD. Aido was trying to track down any information he could find on the pureblood binding process, but just at the moment all he was finding in this chapter was a rather detailed and untoward account of kinky ex-human bondage that might have felt at home in an adult bookstore. Aido was glad there weren't too many people who could have read over his shoulder. Thank God Kain and Ruka weren't around.

Zero eventually gave up trying to irritate Aido and found himself lost in what he was reading. So much of it was mere theory, but he tried to make mental note of the useful bits, wishing for a moment that he still had someone like Yagari to help him make sense of the practical application of what he was reading. It wasn't like these were textbooks or cookbooks with step-by-step instructions on how to prepare or perform charms. Information like that was passed down from master to pupil, not entrusted to paper where anyone, especially vampires, could read the secrets. But the books were a jumping off place at least, something to add context to his remembered lessons. They were better than nothing.

The question drifted through Zero's mind if it was the same with vampire arts... something learned instinctually or passed down through families or private study? He supposed it was actually. Wasn't that in a way what Kaname was trying to do for him? Teach him the things you could only learn from another person, those contained in no book or tutorial? Zero frowned thoughtfully. He didn't know why Kaname took so much time with him, but maybe he ought not to resent it so much.

Zero found something he wanted to make note of and fished in his pocket for a pen. He had nothing to write on, however, not having come to the Moon Dorm initially with the intention of going to the library. Undaunted by that small fact, Zero distractedly scribbled some quick notes on the side of his palm, short handing enough to hopefully jog his memory later.

Zero looked up at the sound of tearing paper. Aido had torn several blank sheets out of his notebook and now pushed them silently across the table to Zero, apparently having seen what he was doing.

Zero accepted the paper and turned it around, quickly scribbling his notes much more easily on that instead. "Thanks."

Aido stared at the blackened window near the end of the table and the rain. "No problem. You'll leave ink on the furniture if you write on your hands."

Zero let it pass. "What are you working on? Something for school?" he inquired instead, making a cautious attempt at conversation as if signaling his willingness to call a truce to their silent battle of wills.

Aido seemed to not know how to answer the question for a moment. "No, just some personal research," he hedged, not about to tell Zero what he was actually doing at the moment, nor bring Kaname's name into anything.

"Personal, huh?" Zero eyed the stacks of books. "I didn't know you harbored aspirations of becoming a hunter..." he said innocently, still wondering what Aido was doing with all these particular texts.

Aido shot him a baleful glare. "Hardly. I'm simply interested in all permutations of charm lore, even the perverted ones," he returned shortly.

Zero ignored the jibe because he knew that ignoring Aido irritated him more than responding to him did. Actually, he didn't doubt what the blonde said. Unconsciously, Zero shifted his wrist, feeling the bracelet there. He'd forgotten that this was obviously an area of interest for the other vampire. He hadn't cared much for Aido's explanations at the time he'd presented the bracelets, but now, Zero was suddenly struck by the vague memory of him mentioning something about finding a new way to adhere the charm to the metal alloy.

"What are _you _doing?" Aido turned the question around on Zero, peeved when it looked like Kiriyu had totally spaced out on him as if he wasn't even there. "Looking up ways to make yourself more irritating? I don't think they have charms that powerful..."

Zero dragged himself back to the moment in time to scowl at the other vampire. "Just some personal research," he replied, intentionally turning Aido's earlier answer around on him. It was his turn to hedge. He wasn't about to tell Aido that he was trying to find ways to better attack Kaname when they were sparring. He'd rather avoid creating a scene that would doubtless get them both thrown out of the library.

"Aido, how exactly _did _you bind the charm to, um... these?" the hunter asked unexpectedly, flashing his bracelet ever so briefly.

Aido's mouth was open in a witty and sarcastic rejoinder to the ex-human's previous statement, but the words ended up not coming as he processed the sudden switch in topics. He eyed Zero suspiciously, as if wondering if he was about to be made fun of again. Zero certainly hadn't wanted to hear about it last time they'd talked. It was odd... almost disconcerting that both Kaname and Zero had mentioned such similar topics to him in one day, both suddenly showing such an interest in charms, particularly hunter charms. He was too smart not to grasp that there must be a connection... he just wasn't sure what it was. Given that Kaname was involved, he wasn't sure he should pry either.

Zero seemed to read the other's skepticism and sighed. It wasn't as if asking for help was easy for him, even if he was avoiding doing so directly. "No, I'm serious, I want to know. The more I research this... stuff..." he gestured at the books. "The more I realize how complicated it is."

Although Zero hadn't entirely intended it so, it was the right thing to say to get Aido to open up. Talking about how smart he was had always come easily. Aido explained in detail about the method he'd used with the bracelets and Zero followed along as best he could, absorbing maybe a fourth of it. The hunter was above average intelligence. There was no way he could have slept through most of his classes in high school, missed so many days being 'sick' and still been pretty much top of his class if he wasn't. Still, Aido was conversing at a very high level on a topic not terribly familiar to him. It was impressive that he could follow him at all and even Aido knew that, although he wouldn't have admitted it.

"Okay, but suppose you were trying to bind a charm that had a corrosive effect on the metal or something... is there a way you could isolate it so that it wouldn't harm the carrier until it was ready to be used?" Zero inquired, attempting to word his question carefully.

Aido gave Zero a long look. "You want to store anti-vampire spells in your body for later retrieval, but you can't because you're a vampire," he said quietly, a faint light of understanding dawning in the blue eyes as he put together what Zero was trying to do. "That's what you're really asking about, isn't it?"

His recent look into hunter charms told Aido that this was common practice for hunters in the old days. In modern times they had come to rely much more heavily on special weaponry as it was easier to make and obtain, the old arts fading with time much as they had in vampire culture. But there were probably still some top level hunters who premade and stored charms in their own bodies, using themselves as catalysts so that all they needed to do was use the invoking word to initiate the charm's power. Some charms didn't even need to be invoked vocally. If the hunter was skilled enough, they could store quiet a number and use them years later. Aido had actually seen Chairman Cross pull one such repelling charm on one of Rido's minions when they were attempting to rescue Kaname, Zero and Yuki from his clutches last year. Cross hadn't been a practicing hunter in years, apparently, so perhaps some charms once stored never actually dissipated.

Zero was uncomfortable with Aido's level of insight into what he was trying to do and looked down at the book in front of him. This was a mistake. He didn't even know why he was talking to the blonde about this. He was tired, he hurt, and he was not in the mood for any more of the noble's disdain or derision. The topic was a little too raw to him. It was frustrating to be limited by what he was... to be _reminded _of what he was.

"Never mind," he said with a touch of weariness as he studied the page before him. There was a flicker of something quiet, almost lost in his expression for just a moment. Something that made the silver-haired boy suddenly seem very alone.

Aido watched him in silence for a minute, weighing whether or not he should say anything further. It was one thing to do something because Kaname had requested it of him. It was another to actually volunteer information to help _Zero _do something relating to _hunter _charms of all things. But actually... the whole idea of the problem intrigued him on an academic level. It was an interesting quandary and challenge. Aido wondered if Kaname was fostering Zero's interest in the hunter arts, given that the pureblood had requested he do research on the topic. If that was the case, then he ought to help Zero. Perhaps that was a rationalization though. A rationalization for the fact that Zero's dejection actually kind of tugged at him. A rationalization because he felt uncomfortable about the book that was under his hand, about the fact that he was researching something that Kaname might very well intend to do to the boy who was sitting across from him.

_And so what if he does? _Aido bit his lip. So what indeed? For being brilliant, he could be so stupid sometimes. Like now...

"You'd have to find a way to isolate the charm. To store it without incorporating so it wouldn't react to your vampire blood," Aido said slowly. "That would probably be hard, I'm not sure it has been done before, but in theory it's not impossible."

Zero looked up, at first guarded, then visibly surprised as he realized that Aido was being earnest and actually giving the matter consideration. The intense interest in the startled gaze he fixed on Aido made the noble feel very odd, but not in a bad way.

"But how would you do that?" Zero queried slowly. "As I understand it, it has to incorporate in order to have any kind of energy." He flipped through the pages of the book he had open to the part where he'd read something to that effect the previous day.

Aido leaned forward, reading the passage upside down. "True, but I think the operative word there is 'energy' or maybe 'life force' in an earlier translation. They often mix those two up. Perhaps there's a way to achieve that while safeguarding the physical body..." he said thoughtfully, his mind already dancing a dozen different paths of possibilities as he considered the problem. "All hunters have a little vampire in them in a way, we know this, right? So obviously, it's a matter of degree more than anything else that we have to figure out how to adjust for here..."

Aido turned the book around and pulled it back towards him, flipping a few pages ahead to check on something. If Kain could have seen him, he would have rolled his eyes, knowing that his cousin was fully digressing into problem solving mode.

Zero realized that what Aido said made a lot of sense, although he usually didn't like to consider the intertwined history of vampires and hunters, especially considering what it had done to him and his brother. Very interested now, he grabbed another book of the stack and thumbed through it quickly. "What about if you did a containment charm first? Kind of like this one...?" he inquired, turning the book and showing Aido what he was talking about. The blond leaned forward, dragging his binder over and starting to jot rapid notes in an elegant, flowing hand.

"Mm," he nodded in approval at the suggestion. "But you'd have to modify it to work on another charm instead of an object... hang on, let me look something up..." Aido went for another book.

Zero watched him as the blonde quickly scanned through it to find what he was looking for. "Hey, Aido?"

"Hm?" Aido replied distractedly without looking up.

"Thanks," Zero said simply.

Aido looked up.

"For... you know..." Zero gestured vaguely in a direction that could possibly have encompassed both his wrist and the books strewn around them before he looked away. It was difficult for him to say, but he was aware that there was no reason Aido _had _to be doing this and no matter how much he didn't want to admit it, he was grateful.

Aido quirked a small smile. There it was again, such an odd feeling it gave him, seeing that glimmer of something other than bitter coldness in Kiriyu's eyes. It made him _want _to help the ex-human.

"Here, look up _'substantiation'_ in this one, will you?" he said, handing the book to Zero and picking up a different one to browse through.

Sometime later, Kain came looking for his cousin, who hadn't shown up for lunch, and found him in the least likely situation possible – bent over a stack of old books, deep in animated conversation with Zero Kiriyu. Silver and blonde heads were almost touching as they leaned close to both try and read the same tiny lines of ancient script in one of the libraries more aged tomes. They seemed to be having a heated debate about some particular point but there was none of the usual caustic edge to their verbal sparring.

"Find something interesting?" Kain inquired, unable to help being amused. Aido... one minute he hated Kiriyu's guts, the next he was holding some kind of academic council with him. So typical of his cousin.

Zero and Aido looked up at the same time with matching _"huh?"_ expressions on their face that only added to Kain's amusement.

The auburn haired vampire's gaze fixed on Aido. "You missed lunch. I saved you some." He hoisted a small round box wrapped in a striped cloth that had a vaguely delicious scent wafting from it. "I saw you go up to Kaname's room earlier with papers and thought you were in trouble again. What are you _doing?_"

Aido had acted furtive when he'd seen him earlier, and when he didn't show for lunch he'd thought maybe Kaname was making Aido write an essay or something because he'd ticked the pureblood off again.

Aido apparently was immediately aware of what Kain had thought and shot his cousin a dirty look. "I am _not _in trouble. I was doing some research for Kaname I'll have you know," he defended hotly, not realizing he'd just said more than he'd intended to on that subject, although Kaname hadn't asked him not to tell about the hunter research.

Zero didn't miss it though. "Wait... you were doing research with _these _books for Kaname?" he inquired, gesturing to the hunter volumes they'd been pouring over the past half hour or so.

Aido realized his slip, but knew he couldn't deny it now without arousing even more suspicion. "Um... yes. He was curious about something," he said lamely, wanting to drop the subject and shooting Kain a double dirty look.

Kain shrugged innocently with a long suffering expression that said that if Aido hadn't been in trouble before, he suspected they were quickly heading down that path now.

Zero looked puzzled and disturbed at the same time. He bet it had to do with their sparring match earlier. He should have suspected as much when he found Aido surrounded by a pile of hunter manuscripts. "You mean like how to ward them off?" Zero guessed dryly. Not a surprise. He'd expect Kaname to want to prepare.

Aido gave him a funny look. "No, he wanted to know about a charm. I thought maybe it had something to do with you actually."

"What charm?" Zero pressed, confused.

"So Aido... do you want this or what?" Kain interjected, waving the bundle he was carrying and trying to remind them that he was there and they were ignoring him, but they simply continued ignoring him. He was used to it.

"Just a charm," Aido hedged, really uncomfortable that he'd been backed into talking about this. "He was curious, that's all. Mm, that smells really good," he diverted his attention to his cousin, the change in topic anything but subtle.

Aido stepped over to Kain, taking the food from him by way of enforcing the shift. Actually... he found he _was_ rather hungry, he hadn't realized just how hungry while lost in the surprisingly enjoyable study session with Zero. Certainly, he had a lot to share with Kiriyu, but Kiriyu was an unexpected fount of practical knowlege reguarding hunter arts and history as well, so it had been a more or less equally engrossing exchange.

He unwrapped the cloth and opened the box, delighted when he saw one of his favorite meals. "Hey, Kiriyu, do you want som- _hey_!" he protested when he turned around and found that Zero had picked up his notebook and was flipping backwards past the pages that they'd filled together, to what Aido had been working on previous to that.

Aido shoved the food box back into Kain's hands and snatched the book away, lest Zero see some of what was written in there, but as he glanced down, he saw that the hunter had stopped on the page with the rough draft of the final write-up he'd done for Kaname on the _aduro _charm.

Aido closed the notebook and tucked it under his arm. He had a mind to lecture the ex-human about respecting other people's property, but Zero looked curiously pale all of a sudden. He'd dived back into the pile of books, pulling out one of the hunter tomes they'd been using earlier. He hurriedly flipped to a certain page that had been dog-eared as a marker.

"Aido... on that paper, what did you mean about charm _revocation_? I don't see anything in here about that..." Zero's strange urgency as he proffered the book towards the other vampire cooled Aido's irritation.

"I know, it's not in that book. It's in the blue one," Aido gestured to the one he meant. "Took me a little while to find it." They'd been going back and forth with questions like this for a while now, so he didn't think much of it, except that Zero was acting really weird all of a sudden, almost desperate. "Well, actually, it doesn't specifically mention that charm either, but almost all fire based charms are a two part process, so it turns out there's a generic revocation formula to put out what's been started that can be applied to all of them with a little modification..."

But Zero wasn't listening to Aido anymore. His mind had frozen in alarm. _Two part? _He hadn't realized that was a two part charm. He'd assumed it was a _there and then gone_ kind of thing, like the ones he'd seen Master Toga use. Oh God... what had he done to Kaname?

Turning without another word, Zero hurried out of the library.

Aido and Kain stared after him. "Oh. Yes. Goodbye then. You're welcome..." Aido said dryly, blinking as he pretended to watch Zero's dust settle.

"What was that all about?" Kain inquired as Aido relieved him of the food box again.

Aido looked a bit troubled, but was distracted from thinking about it too much by the smell of food. "I don't know," he admitted.

"Just Kiriyu being odd again?" Kain ventured, hands sliding into his pockets.

Aido shrugged, plucking a bite up with his fingers and glancing around to see if anyone had noticed. "He's not so bad."

Kain stared at Aido like he'd grown a second head. He pressed his hand to the other's forehead, which Aido promptly batted away in annoyance.

"You must be sick, Hanabusa..." but he was teasing.

Aido scowled and defiantly scooped up another bite of food, finding the utensil that was alongside the lunch box this time and making use of it. "Oh shut up."

Kain chuckled.


	15. I Merge into You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _A/N: This chapter up and wrote itself for the most part LOL. About a fourth of what's in here I actually intended to have, and the rest just... happened... *chuckles and looks around for where exactly it is that those sneaky lemons keep getting in through* So yes, partial lemon/lime warnings on this chapter. *rolls eyes at herself* _

**Chapter Fifteen: "I Merge into You" **

Kaname held his breath for five seconds before letting it out. Drew another one, held it again for the same length, as he mixed together the few items he'd had sent up to his room after reading Aido's report. The breathing technique was one of many he'd learned in the course of his life to deal with pain. It wasn't helping a lot right now though.

His hand shook slightly as he added oil to the dry herb mixture in the bowl on his desk. The compound taking shape in the bowl wasn't very special or exotic. It was basically an herbal salve made of comfrey, chickweed, lavender and olive oil. As far as Kaname could tell it was merely a topical medium to work the charm through. Or so the notes indicated. Aido had listed three possible methods of neutralizing the charm that was currently eating him from the inside out. The first two were a fairly simple matter of willing the kindled fire out of existence and they utilized little preparation. But neither of those had worked, presumably because he wasn't the person who had set the charm to begin with, or wasn't a hunter, or possibly both. So Kaname was now trying the more elaborate third option which utilized a little more formal preparation by way of the sweet smelling salve he was preparing.

It was getting increasingly difficult to concentrate, however. The more time passed, the deeper in the burning sensation seemed to settle. He'd almost passed out before Aido had delivered the report, but he'd managed to force himself to get moving again and he'd been trying to revoke the charm for a while now. He shuddered to think what this charm would have done to someone other than a pureblood. Left unrevoked, it might be able to eventually kill someone not as strong as he – slowly and painfully. Never let it be said that hunters weren't capable of being just as ruthless as vampires in their own way.

Kaname did not suppose that Zero intended this to go that far. If the boy even knew what he'd done, then he was probably just intending to let the pureblood squirm for a while. Kaname's jaw clenched silently at the thought. _Well I hope you enjoy it, Kiriyu. Two can play that game if that's what you want, and you won't like the way I play._

Kaname stared grimly at the mixture in the bowl. To be honest, he was beginning to think he might not be able to do this. Maybe a vampire couldn't work a hunter charm, even to neutralize it. But that wasn't an option. He _had _to be able to do this, that was all there was too it. It was ridiculous that there might be something he couldn't do if he put his mind to it...

He dabbed the oily compound on his blistered stomach and tried invoking the counter-charm. Nothing happened. He squeezed his eyes shut and let his head hang a moment. _Crap. _He'd been afraid of this.

Setting his jaw in determination, Kaname raised his head. Maybe he simply hadn't done it right. It hadn't felt like it had when he'd invoked the blood seal with Zero. Maybe he just hadn't tried hard enough.

Three or four more attempts put a significant damper on that hope, however. Deeply frustrated and almost as desperate, Kaname resisted the urge to fling the bowl at the far wall. The mirror on his dresser and a flower vase in the corner cracked from the unintentional weight of his frustration swirling around the room.

Suddenly the door handle turned. It was locked, but the person on the other side jiggled the knob urgently, finally apparently remembering to knock only after finding the door locked.

"Kaname?" Zero's voice. "Kaname, let me in!"

Kaname was too started to find the hunter at his door to feel too irritated by the demanding tone. Hurriedly, he snatched up his shirt and slid it back on, wincing in agony as he buttoned it clumsily with shaking fingers. There was worry in Zero's voice, alarm even. Kaname could sense it, could practically smell it on him from here. Zero's tone and manner said that something was urgently wrong and that made the pureblood worried despite the pain he was in. The hunter was currently not his favorite person in the world, but the thought of danger put that on hold.

Kaname tugged the door open quickly, a concerned frown on his slightly flushed face. "What is it? Has something happened?" he demanded, looking Zero over swiftly for any signs that he was hurt or something was amiss.

Zero was inside the room before Kaname could invite him in... which Kaname wouldn't have done at the moment. One look and Zero saw the bowl on the desk and Aido's handwriting on the paper beside it. The scent of lavender was heavy in the air. He'd gotten enough of a look at the notes in Aido's binder before the blonde had snatched it away that he had a good idea what was being attempted. Kaname was trying to lift the charm, which meant his fears were correct and it must still be hurting the pureblood. He spun back to face Kaname. The brunette's face was flushed, his pupils dilated, his body tense, heart-rate accelerated. He couldn't even hide the physical signs of distress now. Zero's stomach sank to his toes.

"Damn it, Kaname, why didn't you tell me?" he demanded, guilt making his tone harsh.

Kaname was taken aback by Zero's behavior and cast an irritated, measuring gaze at him. "Zero. Calm down and tell me what the hell you're talking about," he said coolly. He kept his hands at his sides, so Zero couldn't see them tremble. "Tell you _what_?"

Zero reached out and pulled up the hem of Kaname's shirt, exposing part of his stomach. The pureblood hadn't expected this and winced as the fabric moved against him.

Zero looked horrified as he saw the blistered, feverish skin. "Tell me about _this_," he rasped softly, fingers swiftly sliding to the buttons of Kaname's shirt, fumbling slightly as he started to undo them with earnest urgency. _Crap, crap, crap! What had he done?_

Kaname stepped backwards out of instinct, slapping Zero's hands away from him. "You can't just come in here whenever you want and start throwing a fit. Get out of my room!" he snapped. Pain was not making the pureblood the most patient or rational man in the world right now. He really hadn't wanted Zero to see this, to know how badly the charm had affected him, and he was currently very upset with the hunter for doing this to him. Hunter charms while sparring, fine, if Kaname couldn't stay ahead of the game, then he deserved to get nailed. But it was low to leave it free to keep torturing him like this. Kaname had always been careful not to leave Zero with any lasting, or truly painful damage.

Zero's current reaction was a pretty strong indicator that it had been an act of ignorance, not malice, but Kaname was fairly upset by this point and not ready to react well anyway.

It was Zero's turn to be taken aback by Kaname's sharp rebuff. He was trying to help, what was the pureblood's problem? But Zero was feeling too worried and guilty to get very angry. "Don't be an ass, Kaname; you have to let me help you. The charm I used..."

"Has to be revoked, yes, I know, I think I figured that out," Kaname replied tersely, unable to help clutching his stomach even as he spoke, his tall frame slightly hunched. "Thank you for letting me burn for a couple hours before remembering."

Zero's hackles went up, but it was countered by his horror and sense of responsibility. "I didn't know..." he said softly. "Kaname I..."

"Maybe next time you shouldn't use something if you don't know what the hell you're doing," Kaname interrupted acidicly. His face creased with pain and he urgently wanted to sit back down. He was starting to hyperventilate. _Oh god... _

"Well then maybe you shouldn't push me so hard all the time to do just that, you son of a..." Zero stopped himself, balling his fists at his sides tightly and reining in his frustration with effort. Kaname was far too good at pressing his buttons and getting under his skin, but the pureblood was obviously in a lot of pain. Pain that Zero had caused. Unwittingly, but still...

"You're right," he said quietly, his head drooping. "I shouldn't. Kaname, I honestly didn't mean for this to happen. I'm sorry." _You can be mad at me if you want to, but let me help you fix this, please... _his eyes pleaded silently.

Part of Kaname wanted to be understanding. In a way, Zero was right. The pureblood _was_ constantly pushing him to try to do things the boy barely understood. You didn't learn if you didn't try. But part of Kaname was also angry and in pain. It hurt so much to have thought that Zero wanted him to suffer like this.

The fire eating through him wound its hungry jaws a little deeper around his innards and Kaname felt like he might be sick. He closed his eyes, both arms curling around himself as he let his head hang in defeat. He knew now he could not undo this alone. He needed the hunter more than he would have liked. In a way it was ironically symbolic of the exact same kind of mess he was in with Zero in so many other ways. Trapped by their complicated interdependency. It was so unsafe, so out of control, and so impossible to know how to handle.

"Just make it stop..." he whispered softly. _Please, Zero, make it stop..._

Zero didn't have to be asked twice. He was instantly beside Kaname again, gently undoing the rest of the buttons on his shirt. His heart ached sharply at the pained concession in the other's voice. It must really be bad for him to be reacting like this. The hunter frowned, angry with himself. It had been a pretty simple charm, which was why he'd chosen it, he'd had no idea it was so powerful. He would never have imagined that could have affected _Kaname_ of all people so badly. He'd actually been afraid that it wouldn't impact the pureblood at all.

The truth that neither of them realized yet was that it wasn't the charm itself that was so devastating, it was the power of the person invoking or delivering it that determined how much damage it caused. Zero did not know his own strength, nor realize how much his vampire and hunter natures were capable of feeding into one another and amplifying his abilities.

Kaname remained still, silently letting the ex-human undo his shirt, eyes on the carpet. Zero carefully eased Kaname's shirt open, and then down off his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. He bit his lower lip as the extent of the inflamed skin became clear.

Quickly taking Kaname by the arm, Zero him back to the desk where the pureblood had been working before. He guided him to sit and reached for the bowl.

"Kaname, I... I'm so sorry," he whispered softly once more, unable to help the anguish in his tone now. "I never would have left it like this if I'd known... Why didn't you _tell _me you were still hurting?" he inquired with earnest confusion and anguish as he gently spread more of the oily medium on the other vampire's hot skin, hoping the salve would help.

Kaname inhaled sharply, but Zero's touch was soothing, even if it was painful, and he carefully held himself still. He didn't answer the question, but he didn't really have to. Zero was already figuring it out. Kaname didn't tell him because to tell him would be to appear weak. He hadn't wanted to ask for Zero's help. Stupid, _stupid _pureblood pride.

Kaname focused on the cool, smooth feeling of Zero's lightly callused palm sliding gently across his flaming skin, his eyes un-focusing slightly. His uneven breathing brushed Zero's hair as the hunter leaned close, stirring the silver locks framing the other's face. There was something open, almost trusting about Kaname's vulnerability and as it always did, it stirred strange, intense, protective urges in the hunter. It wasn't like a vampire's natural instinct to protect a pureblood. It was something else. It was Zero's desire to protect _this _pureblood. As ridiculous as the notion usually was.

Looking down towards Aido's paper on the desk, Zero quickly read what he needed to do. He'd already had an idea, but he didn't want to take any chances. He wanted to do this right, and swiftly. Kaname doubled forward a bit before he could catch himself and Zero frowned in concern, taking his arm again. "Um, actually, I think we'd better do this on the bed," he murmured, not sure how Kaname's body would react to the counter-charm. Lying down would be better.

Kaname didn't argue, he simply gave a trusting nod and let Zero lead him wherever he wanted. Quickly, Zero helped him to the bed and the pureblood eased down onto his back, the hunter kneeling beside him.

Placing his hand gently on Kaname's stomach again, Zero closed his eyes and whispered the revocation, turning all his will to the urgent, silent command for the fire burning inside Kaname to cease and dissipate.

Kaname's body jerked, stiffening on the bed. He convulsed once, then was still again. Zero's eyes flew open in alarm, but the pureblood's expression was relieved as their eyes met, the lines of pain on his face easing away.

The burning sensation had vanished as quickly and completely as it had started and Kaname literally felt weak with relief. He drew in a deep, slow breath, savoring the cessation of pain. His eyes fluttered closed for a moment.

Zero felt a chill run through him as his mind suddenly juxtaposed an unwelcome memory onto the present. _Stone walls. Yuki crying. Kaname's eyes closing... but the smooth, handsome features were frighteningly pale, crimson blood trailing from the corner of his mouth, inductive of the fatal damage he had taken..._

The hunter quickly shook the memory off with a shudder. That was over a year ago, he had no idea why it came back to him now, except that both times he'd had his hand on Kaname's body, feeling the effects of something hunter related upon the pureblood both through his fingers and through their bond. This situation wasn't anything nearly so serious of course, but the flash of memory disturbed Zero deeply.

Kaname's eyes fluttered open again and found themselves staring into silver-amethyst pools of concern. Zero was leaning over him, supporting himself on one arm, his other hand still resting carefully, flat-palmed on the other's stomach. "Did it work? Is it gone?" he whispered as if almost afraid of the answer. Kaname's hand slid over his and he gave a nod.

"Yes," he replied, equally quiet. Now that the incredibly distracting pain was removed, he was able to start thinking normally again and notice small things... like how close Zero was to him... how beautifully handsome the young hunter was when his eyes were all full of gentle concern like that... how much it almost... almost looked like he cared.

Kaname's breath caught slightly. It wasn't because of the lingering tremble that was still shaking him as his body started trying to recover, but he could pretend it was. Kaname's heart was calming, beginning to regulate as his healing factor was finally able to start compensating. The breath sobbing between his teeth began to come a little slower.

Unexpectedly, Kaname felt warm arms around him. It was Zero, partially lying on top of him, although thankfully nowhere near his tender blisters. The hunter's hands curled against the back and sides of Kaname's shoulders, elbows hugging the pureblood's body, forehead pressed against his collarbone.

For half a moment, Kaname thought that Zero had collapsed from working the charm and he tensed in alarm, hands snapping up to carefully grip Zero's sides. But then he realized that Zero had not _fallen_... he was... _hugging_ the pureblood, holding onto him almost... tenderly.

Kaname's chest and throat felt warm and tight, the fading pain and lingering weakness of his body forgotten as he felt Zero's heart beating against him and the ever so soft and hesitant touch of lips on his shoulder. The pureblood almost forgot to breathe as his grip on Zero's sides gentled, hands sliding up across the fabric of his shirt to wrap around the hunter's back.

Zero's head remained bowed against Kaname's shoulder. Maybe it was because he was tired and he'd had a nasty shock, but he couldn't fight the desire to just be close to Kaname. To feel his heart beat and know that he was all right, to breathe his scent, to taste his skin... Kaname's warm shoulder was so close to him, Zero wasn't even conscious of the fact that he was kissing it lightly at first until he felt a soft tremble from the body under him and became aware of the faint taste of salt as his mouth slowly caressed the silky skin. It was too comforting and delicious, so he didn't stop, continuing to softly trail little kisses and licks across Kaname's exposed shoulder and collarbone.

He just... _wanted _to, and it wasn't like there was anything to feel awkward about anymore, was there? It wasn't as if he and Kaname weren't already intimately familiar with every inch of the other's body.

Kaname lay very still, his pulse thudding in his veins for entirely different reasons now than it had been before. Zero's mouth on his skin drew warm shivers of delight through his body, and the unexpectedness of it was almost magical. Save for the night of the party, Zero was almost never the one to initiate contact between them. He conceded pretty willingly under Kaname's caresses or advances, especially the past week or two, but unless he needed blood, he usually wasn't the one who started touching first. Kaname knew logically that their attraction wasn't one-sided, but it still did his heart good to feel... _wanted. _

Zero sucked lightly on the graceful angle of Kaname's right clavicle, tongue slowly dipping into the small hollow at the base of his throat, between his collarbones. Kaname's breath trembled and his fingers tightened around the other's back.

"Zero...?" he whispered softly, almost afraid to move, afraid to break whatever spell hung between them. But as gentle and compelling as Zero's touches were, there was a soft thread of desperation underneath that the pureblood could just sense.

Zero's blood thrummed in his veins as he savored the familiar taste and texture of the pureblood's skin. He probably shouldn't be doing this. He knew Kaname was ticked with him, and probably not in the mood to be touched so... but the pureblood wasn't protesting, and his body was indicating that it at least was quite pleased with his caresses. And Zero just... he couldn't stop. Because if he stopped touching Kaname, he would remember the strange pain and fear he'd felt a moment ago, recalling when Kaname had almost died.

Kaname seemed invulnerable; it was how he liked to be seen. And as much as that aggravated Zero... perhaps there was part of him that clung to that too. Yes, seeing Kaname vulnerable _to him _was intensely compelling, but seeing the pureblood vulnerable to other things like serious injury, or... death... twisted his gut. Zero had lost too much. He had lost everyone. He was cursed, anyone he cared about died. He shouldn't care about anyone anymore, hadn't he learned his lesson yet? Apparently not, because despite himself... he _did _care for Kaname, and as much as he sometimes also hated him, the mere thought that he could possibly lose the pureblood too was enough to send Zero's heart reeling in impossible pain. As stupid and hopeless as it was, Kaname was all he had.

He swallowed softly at the question in the pureblood's tone, his lips tracing the smooth angles of Kaname's other collarbone now, unwilling to stop and not able to explain why. He slid one hand free from Kaname's shoulder long enough to unbutton the top few buttons of the shirt he was wearing, pushing the collar aside and brushing his hair back from the un-tattooed side of his neck.

"You should probably... you know..." Zero murmured, soft and earnest. On occasion, Kaname had fed him after they sparred because it hastened the ex-human's healing process, usually he did it when he'd been rougher than he intended. Zero fully intended to do the same.

A quiet, warm smile touched Kaname's lips. It was really sweet somehow, to have Zero offering him _his _blood for a change. He rarely seriously protested when Kaname took it, but again... he didn't usually _offer. _

The naked side of Zero's neck was deliciously tempting and Kaname nuzzled his face against it as Zero leaned over him. He slowly licked and kissed the smooth skin, preparing it. Zero felt warm, familiar shivers run through him at the sensation and continued his own exploration of where Kaname's pectoral muscles joined his collarbones. His neck tingled in anticipation. Yes... it was bizarre and probably should be disturbing, but even though Kaname drank from him far less than he drank from the pureblood, he had come to crave Kaname's bite.

Kaname was in no particular hurry and he took his time, sucking and licking Zero's skin, savoring the sweet anticipation of the moment when his already fully aroused fangs would claim his lover's flesh. It was a tender, delicious exploration, but finally Kaname slid his teeth right over Zero's bite area, where his nerves were most sensitive, and the pleasure the deepest. With the smoothness of a deep, passionate kiss, he penetrated the other vampire's body, the sweet, sweet iron tang of the ex-human's blood filling his mouth and transporting Kaname to its own unique strata of delight.

Zero's breath left him in a soft, heated little rush against the other vampire's skin and he bowed his head a little further against Kaname's shoulder. It was hard for him to think when Kaname's fangs were in him, when the sound of his blood being drawn filled his ears and the unique sensation of blood sharing throbbed through his veins. He panted softly, unable to help groaning softly as the pureblood's teeth withdrew, skilled tongue played against the punctured flesh and making his insides quiver before those devastatingly delightful teeth slid seamlessly back into the same wound track once more as he sucked and lapped. Zero winced, but the pleasure far outweighed the pain, his gut feeling like melted butter. There was part of him that still had an instinctual aversion to being bitten, but that part was usually more than easily subdued by the deep pleasure that accompanied the act under Kaname's deliberately arousing ministrations.

Kaname drank up the sounds of Zero's pleasure with almost as much relish as he drank the deliciously satisfying blood. He didn't take a lot from Zero, he didn't need to, but he drank slowly and took his time before withdrawing his teeth again and tenderly licking the wounds closed. Zero had resumed kissing his neck and shoulders, but his body thrummed with a different kind of desperation than it had before – a warmer, less distressing kind.

"Thank you," the pureblood whispered against Zero's neck. This was nothing he couldn't have demanded from anyone, and most vampires would have tripped over themselves to offer it to him. But not Zero. He knew it was a real gesture for the hunter to offer himself up that way and thus it meant a lot more to him. When you could have almost anything, you sometimes found that it was rather empty, meaningless and not worth having. Nothing about Zero's affections and respect was automatic or came easily, however, and that made them all the more precious and desirable.

Zero's body thrummed and pulsed with desire now and the simple warmth in Kaname's words made his chest ache. Kaname shouldn't thank him, he'd just done what was decent to fix what he'd done. It was nothing Kaname hadn't done for him many times. The fact that Zero was under the impression that he _paid _Kaname for his blood made it hard for him to feel grateful sometimes, but just at the moment, he couldn't help feeling a little bad for the number of times that he'd been belligerent about it.

"I'm sorry," Zero whispered softly, almost hoarsely against Kaname's skin. He wasn't sure what he was apologizing for exactly. For the mistake with the charm? For not knowing whether he cared about or hated this man half the time? Or for his weakness in needing this contact so achingly much?

Kaname's arms held firmer around him, one hand curling into the soft, silver hair. Tilting his head, Kaname kissed Zero's temple, his other hand sliding up and down the hunter's back in slow movements that were part comfort, part unconscious seduction. Looking at the boy at this moment... how could he ever worry that Zero would betray him? It was his heart talking, not his head, Kaname knew that. He also knew his heart made infamously bad decisions, but right now... he didn't care.

"Forget it," he murmured softly, figuring Zero was talking about the charm. The pureblood was quite delightedly aroused by now and didn't care to think anymore about anything other than adoring the boy in his arms. All was forgiven as far as he was concerned and he felt a bit like a baby now, for having reacted so badly when he was in pain. "I'm fine. If you keep apologizing I'm going to feel like a real jerk."

Zero smiled, lightly brushing his fangs along Kaname's skin, moist from his kisses and caresses. "You _are _a real jerk..." he murmured back, the warmth in his tone dismissing any seriousness from the words.

Kaname grinned. "How can you say that?" he purred softly in a warm, honeyed tone. In one smooth move, he turned over and reversed their positions, rolling Zero onto his back beneath him. He straddled Zero's hips, his warm weight pinning the hunter lightly to the mattress and pressing the hard, hungry lines of their aroused bodies together through their trousers. "...When I haven't done anything to deserve it... _yet._"

Zero felt fire shoot through him and his lips parted slightly in a soft, pleasured gasp as he gazed up at the other. Bending over him, half naked, his wavy dark hair spilling over his shoulders and around his face, Kaname looked like an angel and smiled like the devil, beckoning the hunter into the depths of their shared sin with dark eyes that were both hungry and tender.

"You think not?" Zero returned. His heated smirk dissolved as his head rocked back, a groan escaping him as Kaname deftly unzipped his jeans and plunged his hand beneath, cupping the hunter's body.

"Not _comparatively_..." the pureblood purred as he leaned close, licking the side of Zero's neck that he'd recently bitten in slow, deliberate lines as he explored the hard curves of the needy body inside Zero's pants. Kaname grinned deeply as he nipped lightly at Zero's skin, making the flesh in his hand jerk and throb. "I'm sure you'll think me much more of a jerk after I've pleasured you until you can't stand it and are begging me for release..."

His dark, silky tones elicited an anticipatory shudder from Zero as he pureblood shifted, relieving Zero of his pants and shoes. Although currently very _distracted, _Zero was glad to see that the angry redness on Kaname's stomach and chest was already fading to a non-threatening pink. It would probably soon be gone all together. Apparently it hadn't had the same long-lasting effect as being hurt by a hunter weapon would have.

Kneeling between his lover's legs again, the pureblood's teasing hands resumed stroking and pleasuring the boy's arousal, his own body reacting strongly to the intoxicating, enticing sight of Zero spread half naked on the bed, and exposed to him like this. The hunter was so damn beautiful... the need to feel him, to possess him... to... _love_ him... was so strong Kaname almost couldn't stand it.

Zero's back arched a little, hips rocking into Kaname's grip as he struggled to control his breathing.

Kaname swiped a hand down his healing stomach, coating two fingers with the oily substance that had been rubbed there before. Zero flushed under the meaningful, speculative weight of his lover's gaze as the pureblood rubbed his fingers together, judging the substance slick enough to do the trick.

Aching with anticipation and embarrassed that he was, Zero bit his lip as Kaname's oiled fingers found his entrance and played around the outside before pressing slowly into him. First one finger, then two... Zero's breathing became harsher as slick, tempting digits explored his heat, skillfully coaxing him past the initial pain, stretching and stroking him with the skill of one who knew _exactly _how the hunter liked to be touched.

Kaname continued to caress and fondle his lover's arousal with one hand while he claimed him with the other, a faint flush of arousal coloring his features as he gazed raptly at Zero, drinking up his reactions and living for each and every small sound he made as the boy squirmed on the bed in embarrassed bliss.

Zero curled a fist into the covers beside him. What Kaname was doing felt very, very good. It was embarrassing when the pureblood did things like this, when it was obvious he was enjoying pleasuring Zero for the sake of pleasuring him and watching his reactions rather than to fulfill his own needs, although that would come soon enough. But the way Kaname was looking at him at this particular moment... Zero couldn't admit it to himself, but... it made him feel somehow... _special_.

"Zero..." Kaname's husky voice made Zero realize he'd closed his eyes and they fluttered open quickly again. The pureblood was watching him with compelling single-minded attentiveness as he continued to drive the ex-human crazy.

Kaname added a third finger and Zero winced, but the wince quickly turned to a grimace of pleasure as the pureblood's long fingers found _that _spot inside his lover and stroked it slowly, firmly. The hunter's breath caught, his toes almost curling, his stomach muscles tightening spasmodically.

"Take off your shirt, Zero..." his lover purred as he thrust his fingers slowly inside their tight sheath. "Strip for me..." Kaname's tone mingled command and tender plea in an irresistible blend. He wanted to see Zero, all of him... he needed him...

Zero flushed, he couldn't tell if it was embarrassment or desire, or maybe both, fueling each other. Despite himself, he couldn't refuse that look in Kaname's eyes, nor the incredible sensations swirling through him. His fingers slid to the remaining buttons, undoing them with slightly shaky fingers. He leaned up on his elbows to slide out of the shirt, his breath catching slightly as that changed the angle of the slowly thrusting fingers.

Kaname watched, having to force himself to remember to breathe as he watched Zero strip. His hands stroked, pinched and thrust appreciatively, making his lover continue to squirm beautifully.

Struggling out of the shirt with a little difficulty, Zero let it fall to the bed. Completely naked now, leaning on his elbows, Kaname kneeling between his thighs, Zero knew he was entirely at his lover's mercy. His head feel back with a soft groan as his body shivered under Kaname's ministrations. Right now, he supposed... that wasn't such a bad thing.

"Kaname..." he murmured in a raspy tone, lost in pleasure.

Kaname leaned forward, soft lips catching at his neck as he leaned Zero back, fingers sinking deeper, his soft sigh saying he was just as lost.

\--------------------------------------

Kaname lay on his side, propped on an elbow, head resting on one hand. His gaze slid appreciatively over Zero's body as the ex-human sat on the side of the bed, buttoning up his shirt. The shirt was currently all Zero was yet wearing. It was long enough to be mildly modest, the way the shirt-tails were pooling around his hips and thighs, but it was revealing enough to make a delightful picture, one that Kaname wished he could have framed.

The pureblood was still naked. One corner of the sheet draped gracefully across his hips, tangled up around his long legs, but it was more for warmth than modesty.

"Stop looking at me that way," Zero said dryly. He didn't turn, but he didn't need to. He could feel Kaname's eyes on him.

Kaname scooted a little closer and reached over, fingers trailing softly down the outside of Zero's thigh. "Like what? Like I can't keep my eyes off you?" he murmured back in contented, playful tones.

Zero's head dipped slightly. Why did Kuran have to say things like that? It made him feel so... so strange. Especially because he hated to admit that it pleased him. It did though. Just like Kaname's passionate attentiveness in bed and the amazing way he made Zero feel like he was the center of the universe when they were together.

Everything about their relationship was all kinds of wrong, but when they were actually in each other's arms... it felt right. It was like a drug, enabling Zero to forget everything else for a while, and God help him, he'd become a willing addict to this, as much as he was to Kuran's blood. Considering his life and all the pain he carried around with him, how could he not welcome the temporary escape? He'd given up fighting himself about it, but he knew like any drug, you had to be careful you didn't lose perspective.

"You're beautiful, Zero..." Kaname murmured, unable to help himself for the deep, contented ache in his chest. He leaned forward, ghosting a kiss on Zero's hip where the skin just peeked out around the slit in his shirttails.

Zero closed his eyes, battling the warmth in his stomach and the intense tightness in his throat. _Don't lose perspective. _

He and Kaname had an arrangement of convenience, delightful sometimes to be sure, but that's all it was and he could not allow himself to forget it. He was slowly starting to understand vampire culture. He got now that they had their own set of cultural mores and that sex could be a pretty causal thing for them depending on the context. To keep his sanity in his current situation, it had to become so for him as well. If he forgot himself... if he let himself be lost in the warm tenderness that he'd seen in Kaname's

eyes not long ago, if he let himself take away from this bed the sense of belonging and connectedness that they shared while they were in it... he would be letting himself in for a world of hurt he could ill afford. In some muddled way, he didn't want to taint the hesitant beauty of the moments he and Kaname did spend together by trying to make them more than they were. If he expected nothing, he would not be disappointed.

"Does it bother you that I find you beautiful?" Kaname murmured, seeing the boy's back tense slightly. His tone was still softly seductive and amused. Zero's gentleness and almost eager participation in their lovemaking had sated him as deeply as the actual sex had and he was in a good mood, prompting him to say things he normally wouldn't have otherwise. "I can say handsome if you find that less gender-offending..." he was teasing again, that small, devilish smile tugging at those insanely attractive lips.

Zero shook his head, returning a tired glare that didn't muster much real punch or outrage. "You're insane, you know that?" he muttered and Kaname laughed softly.

The pureblood rolled partially onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. "Yes, I suppose I am..." he murmured absently, almost as if to himself. He _was _insane. He was insane to feel this way about Zero, insane to let him know he felt that way, insane to allow himself this beautiful escape, this delightful, deadly weakness.

Zero watched him silently. _Kaname _was the one who was beautiful, with his glossy hair and perfect body, glowing with that indescribable attractiveness that defined purebloods like a siren song and led many hopeless fools to dash themselves on the rocks in pursuit of them. Hopeless fools like Zero, if he wasn't careful.

Theirs was the relationship of a benefactor and a courtesan. Those terms came to Zero as echoes from a mostly forgotten history class, but they sounded nicer than other words he could have used to describe himself. It fit, after all, did it not? Kaname protected, taught and supported him in a society where he otherwise had no standing, and in return, his body was at the pureblood's disposal. It was the way things were, and he was determined that he could accept and deal with that. The hunter was tough; he had survived becoming a vampire, the anti-thesis to everything he had been born to be; becoming a... what he was now... wasn't that much harder, right? Especially not with Kaname, who made it disturbingly easy.

Zero breathed carefully as Kaname's fingers trailed up his thigh, tracing the curve of his hip and dragging up the hem of his shirt a little. Yes, Kaname made it very easy to lose his morals, his dignity and his soul... because he craved that lovely, sinful touch so much. Maybe the _obligation _he owed Kaname was at least in part an excuse that he clung to... because otherwise he would have to face that he didn't _want _to stay away from the tempting, intoxicating pureblood. It was fortunate that the damned had nothing left to lose.

_Yuki... what would you think of me if you could see me now? Would you be pleased that I can make him happy in some way, or would you despise me for selling my soul to survive? I miss you, Yuki..._

Zero gave into temptation and dropped his hand, letting his fingers comb slowly through Kaname's warm, silky, dark chocolate curls as the pureblood lay beside him. Kaname shifted his head a little under Zero's touch, leaning into it in a smooth, almost cat-like gesture of contentment.

Kaname closed his eyes as Zero's fingertips caressed his scalp and brushed through his hair. He could tell Zero was thinking troubling thoughts. He wished it wasn't so, he wished that at least for a little while he could just make the hunter happy.

"What are you thinking about, Zero?" Kaname asked, his eyes opening again.

Zero tensed slightly and looked away. It wasn't something he could talk about. Reality was ugly, the dream they were inhabiting was nicer. "Nothing," he murmured.

Kaname rolled onto his side and leaned up onto his elbow again. His lazily searching fingertips glided across the top of Zero's leg and caressed his inner thigh. "It didn't _look _like nothing..." he prodded, pressing another light kiss against Zero's side, through the shirt he was wearing.

Zero didn't reply at first and Kaname's hand slid up his thigh and under his shirt, finding warm, soft flesh and caressing it, making the ex-human suck in a small breath. Zero knew Kaname wasn't going to give up until he answered.

"I was thinking about Yuki," Zero almost whispered. It was partially the truth, and he knew it was the one thing that Kaname would never press him further about.

Kaname's hand stilled against his thigh and then withdrew. The pureblood tilted his forehead to lean against Zero's side as he lay next to him. "Oh," he said quietly. Zero could hear the faint note of pain in his voice and he regretted it. Yuki had been what bound them together in the beginning, but now, it hurt so bad they could not speak of her. Maybe it would have helped if they could, but they were both still trying to carry that pain on their own.

Kaname fingered the hem of Zero's shirt absently, repressing the ache spawned in his chest by the sound of her name. He didn't like to think of her at moments like this. He knew she had been understanding, even supportive of his relationship with Zero, but he still couldn't help feeling guilty, like he betrayed her memory by his actions and his feelings. He ached for her loss. If it were the first time he had lost someone, he would have expected it to fade with time, but he knew from experience it never really did. You just got better at not thinking about it.

Kaname hesitated in indecision. Maybe now was a good time to tell Zero about what he'd been doing, about the state of his research into the cause of her death and who was behind it... the pureblood willed himself to speak, but his throat was so tight it was difficult to breathe. It was hard to try to talk about it. Too hard.

Zero's fingers stayed in Kaname's hair, almost hugging the pureblood to his side. His throat and eyes were stinging, he could feel Kaname's silent sorrow radiating from him, and he knew he should not have brought the topic up. It just... hurt so much. Sometimes he wanted, _needed _someone to talk to... but it was obviously too painful for Kaname as well.

"You threw my shoes half way across the room..." Zero commented wryly, swallowing hard to bite back the quaver in his voice as he determinedly tried to change the subject.

Kaname knew what he was doing and did the same. Maybe... they just weren't ready yet. They needed more time. "So? If the distance is too _great_ for you to travel, I'll get them..." he returned with an equally subdued attempt at levity.

The shoes started to lift from the ground, but Zero shook his head. "No, let me try."

Kaname set the shoes back down and turned an interested gaze upon the ex-human. "Okay, go ahead."

Zero had gotten over most of his initial hesitancy at trying to practice his vampire abilities. He still wasn't very good at utilizing them, but given how Kaname always pushed him to do so, he knew that volunteering to try would take the pureblood's mind off everything else. Maybe his too.

Zero focused on the right shoe, imagining its contours and its mass, trying to get a grip on it and lift it from the ground. Unconsciously, he stretched his hand out towards it. The shoe wiggled, but stayed put.

Kaname watched silently from beside him, glancing between the shoe and the frown of concentration on Zero's face. It was so tempting to simply reach out and give the shoe a little boost... he knew how frustrating it was for Zero to try and fail at this.

Zero focused harder. _Lift, you damn thing... _The shoe lurched up, but it tilted crazily sideways, dipping before tumbling back to the ground on its side.

Zero started to drop his hand into his lap in disgust. "Okay, scratch useless attempt number two million..." he stopped as a hand slid under his and a warm body pressed against his back.

Kaname had shifted around to sit behind Zero, his chest pressed against the hunter's back, his arm under Zero's, supporting it as his long fingers cupped the back of the hunter's hand, keeping it outstretched. "You have the strength, Zero; you just don't have the mental control," he murmured against the ex-human's ear.

Zero shivered in Kaname's arms as the warm, naked body behind him held him close. The pureblood wasn't doing too much for his _control _right now.

Kaname smiled faintly at the reaction, his fingers tightening a bit around Zero's. "It's not all a matter of thinking and physics. Part of it is instinct; you have to let it flow through you. Let me show you how, Zero..." he murmured, knowing he was asking for a lot of trust.

Somehow, without being told, Zero knew he had to relax and let Kaname take control in order for the pureblood to show him. After a few moments hesitation... he did. Wasn't like he didn't already belong to the pureblood, body and soul.

Kaname felt Zero relax slowly against him. The pureblood pressed his lips lightly against the blood seal behind Zero's ear, using it as a connection point as he reached out, tapping into the power flowing through the other. He touched Zero's mind gently, very gently. Purebloods could control other's wills and minds if they wanted to, but Kaname didn't usually try. With Zero, to do so by force would have meant needing to utilize a brutal amount of mental violence, but Zero was open to him right now and it was no effort at all for the pureblood to connect with him.

Zero started slightly as he felt the distinct impression of someone else's consciousness brushing his own, some force other than himself making his muscles move and directing the flow of power through his body. It wasn't like their minds joined, or they were sharing thoughts or anything of that nature, it was a much more elusive and tactile connection than that. It was like Kaname's hand under his, still separate from him and distinct, but guiding his actions all the same.

It was downright creepy and yet... incredible at the same time. Instinctively, Zero retreated.

Kaname could feel Zero try to pull away when their awarenesses touched and made no effort to hold onto or go after him. If he chased Zero, it would only scare him and the boy would bolt for real. So instead he stayed where he was, not pressing for more contact than the ex-human was comfortable with, waiting to see if he was willing to give this a try.

Slowly... as the initial shock wore off and Zero found that Kaname wasn't pressing him, but simply waiting for an invitation to continue, the hunter started to relax again and hesitantly... very hesitantly... allowed Kaname's consciousness to slip against his once more, much like the pureblood's body was pressed against his back.

It was strangely intimate in a way. Kaname's essence was a strong, warm flame in his senses. Zero knew he was very vulnerable, but the presence was gentle and reassuring. It whispered with formless words that everything would be okay, and he believed. Even if it had not been the truth, and the pureblood in his head was an enemy, he would still have believed at this point. Such was a pure vampire's power.

Kaname knew Zero was entirely in his grip at this moment, and he tread carefully with that trust. Being this close to Zero, this connected... it was beautiful, actually. Vaguely, Kaname couldn't help wondering if this was what it was like when someone was bound to you. Did it mean your minds and wills were this closely entwined? Maybe if the pureblood in the equation didn't treat the ex-human like garbage, it was possible for it to be something lovely...? He didn't know, those thoughts were fleeting and were there and gone almost before they could register.

Carefully, Kaname reached out Zero's hand and guided his mind, showing Zero the distinct shape of the shoe on the floor.

Zero was stunned as he _felt _the shoe. He didn't _imagine _it as he'd been doing; he really felt it somehow, like a physical object. Under Kaname's guidance, he curled an invisible hand around the object and lifted, pulling it to him, as easily as picking it up with his actual hand.

The shoe rose hesitantly from the ground. It wobbled and dipped, but it didn't fall this time as it started an uneven, halting journey towards them until it bumped into Zero's outstretched fingers and his hand curled around it for real.

Kaname felt the surprise and accomplishment wash through Zero and he savored it. He wanted to stay like this, wanted to press further into Zero's consciousness and feel him from the inside out, explore this intensely private connection... but he knew he shouldn't. Zero could not meet him as an equal in this realm, could not resist him after having opened so far and he would resent the invasion afterwards. It would doubtless make him afraid of the pureblood again. That wasn't worth it.

Reluctantly, Kaname withdrew his mind, ceding control of Zero's body back to the hunter. He kissed Zero's neck once more before lifting his head, smiling at the look on his lover's face as he came back to himself.

Zero felt like he was emerging from a dream. He was a little confused, almost aching for the loss of the warm presence in his head, and then immediately alarmed that he felt that way. His heart raced silently. He knew... when he'd been in that state, he would have done anything Kaname wanted and he would have wanted it just as bad. It was frightening... he swallowed, fingers tightening around the shoe he was holding. _Relax. Breathe. All he did was show you what you wanted to know. _Still, Zero decided it was probably not a good idea to let Kaname do that again. Ever.

Suddenly the realization that he had actually succeeded in getting the shoe rushed back to him again, cutting through his thoughts. Zero blinked. "Whoa..." He stared at the shoe and realized that Kaname's fingers were still curled around his as they gripped it, the pureblood's body strong and reassuring behind him.

"Did I really do that, or did you?" he inquired, turning his head a little to get a look at Kaname.

Kaname smiled and shrugged slightly. He wasn't quite sure himself. "I think a little of both, actually," he admitted honestly. "But it was mostly you with a little guidance. I wanted you to see what it felt like. Do you want to try it again?" he offered.

Zero shook his head a little too quickly, but he smiled slightly. "No, I'm good. I'm... I'm tired, actually..." he murmured, and it wasn't an evasion this time. He slumped back wearily against Kaname, feeling suddenly very drained and sleepy, as if it was almost impossible to keep his eyes open. The shoe slipped from his fingers back to the floor and he rested his head against Kaname's shoulder.

Kaname was immediately concerned, but other than weariness, he could sense nothing wrong with the hunter.

"Kaname... what...?" Zero murmured sleepily as Kaname shifted, pulling the hunter further back onto the bed.

"Shh, it's okay," Kaname murmured, starting to relax again as he understood. "I guess exerting that level of control took quite a bit out of you, that's all," he assured. It was probably that, coupled with the slight shock to his system of having had Kaname in his head like that. Plus, he had drunk the boy's blood earlier. "You just need to rest a while and you'll be fine."

Kaname settled Zero on his back, easing the silver head onto a pillow and pulling the covers over his partially clad body.

Zero was starting to drift off as the unnatural weariness claimed him and his body simply shut down. His fingers sought Kaname's of their own volition, curling around his hand. As consciousness faded, Zero murmured a wish that he would not have voiced if he'd been more aware. "Stay with me..." he whispered faintly.

Kaname squeezed his hand, heart tight with unexpected emotion. "Of course, Zero," he murmured back, even though the other was probably beyond hearing him already. Slipping under the covers, he curled up against the ex-human, pulling him into his arms and burying his face in the crook of Zero's neck as he slumbered. He listened to the soft sound of Zero's breathing and the constant rain pattering against the windows. Maybe Kaname would sleep too, or maybe he'd just stay like this for a while. In any case, he wasn't going anywhere. The world could wait.


	16. Shattered to Pieces

**Chapter Sixteen: "Shattered to Pieces" **

"No, this is wrong, you've got the order all mixed up." Aido shook his head and pushed Zero's paper back to him. "There's not that many elements in here, Kiriyu, how hard is it to keep them straight...?"

"It has to be changed or it doesn't _work_," _smart ass_, the unspoken word in Zero's tone might as well have been spoken as he pushed the paper back across the table again. "I may not be Einstein at this, but doesn't it kind of ruin a containment charm if you throw dispelling element right on top if it?" The question was sarcastically rhetoric since they both already knew the answer. "You _have_ to put it first. The rest of the order shouldn't matter..."

"It _does _matter; these two will work against each other if you don't put a stabilizer between them..." Aido tapped his finger on one of the scribbled lines on the paper lying on library table between him and Zero. "Do it this way if you want to, but don't say I didn't warn you when you come back missing body parts."

Zero gave the other a long-suffering glare. Aido was brilliant, but Zero hoped he was never considering a career as a teacher... or any position that required him to actually work with other people, because he could be a _brilliant_ pain in the butt. Of course, the noble likely would never have to work anyway unless he wanted to. Probably a good thing for his health as it cut down on the chances of any future colleagues possibly wanting to _kill _him.

"Oookay," Zero said slowly, resisting the urge to try one of these lovely charms on the vampire sitting across the table from him. "But as long as _those three _are in the proper order, than it doesn't matter if the _aperio _is invoked before or after, right? What if we left everything else the way it was and just moved that?" the hunter reasoned, raising his eyebrows as he looked across at Aido as if waiting to find out why it was that idea wouldn't work.

Aido opened his mouth to shoot the idea down automatically... then closed it again, eyebrows also going up as a surprised, speculative look filtered some of the irritation from his clear blue eyes. "Actually, I think you're right. It shouldn't matter what side of the equation the _aperio _is placed on. And if we move it to _before_... then it would be out of the way and you would be able to introduce the containment charm afterwards and yet before the anti-vampire parts come into play."

"Meaning I could do it without frying myself," Zero summarized. "Which is exactly what I _said _fifteen minutes ago."

Aido sniffed. "Yes, but not the way you had it all jumbled. That was a disaster waiting to happen, you would have blown yourself up first." The look he was giving the other suggested that he might not be all broken up about that idea at the moment. "You can't just start hacking these up willy nilly like they're some kind of sugar cookie recipe, there's a reason they're put together the way they are."

Silver eyes watched blue, unimpressed by the superiority in the other's tone. "Then why didn't_ you_ just tell me that only the _aperio _needed to move in the first place?" Zero remarked dryly.

"I... I didn't think of it," Aido said indignantly, hesitating immediately after as if realizing that he had just admitted not being the absolute authority on the subject. He frowned, looking down at the table in consternation. "_Hunter_ charms are weird perversions of the science anyway. Waste of my time and talent."

Zero smirked quietly and just shook his head as he studied the papers. Aido made a lot of noise, but the ex-human was beginning to see through it and recognize when he was being baited. Instead of letting Aido irritate him this time, as he was obviously trying to do, he took a different tact.

"I don't know, the containment formula you wrote to encapsulate the charms until they're invoked was pretty impressive _hunter _charm work, for a _vampire_." It was a bit of a backhanded compliment, but obviously a compliment nevertheless and Aido did a small, skeptical double-take before realizing Zero was serious.

"Oh," the noble's tone softened slightly in surprise, put on his back foot by the unexpected comment. _Damn it,_ he didn't know what to do or say when Kiriyu actually behaved something close to civil. It was almost weird. "Well, yes, I guess so. From a theory standpoint anyway. It's not like I could, or would try such a thing," he amended quickly, as if scandalized that anyone might have heard and might think he was dabbling in the hunter arts himself. Vampires tended to take a dim view of those arts, for obvious reasons. Although in truth, therein lie some of its appeal. Anything taboo was inherently interesting. "Wasn't a big deal," he added, not wanting Zero to think he was putting a lot of effort into this or anything.

Zero knew otherwise and was actually both surprised and a little confounded by Aido's behavior. Yesterday, the aristocrat had just shoved the formula at him as if it was something he'd hurriedly scribbled on a napkin in passing rather than an extensive piece of original work that Aido had probably spent several hours on.

Actually, Zero had at first been quite suspicious that Aido had given him something that was going to end up very badly for him if he actually tried it. But a few hours of looking things up had settled his mind that the formula did actually seem to be intended to do what it was supposed to, not make him sprout pink hair or break out in hives or anything. So there was no reason he shouldn't use it. Storing anti-vampire charms inside himself without protection had already proved to be excruciating, an alternative would be nice. The ex-human would take all the edge he could get.

Two days had passed since his first mixed success / disastrous of a charm experiment, but he and Kaname had not had a chance to spar again since then. Some other important matters had come up and Kaname was spending a good deal of time locked away in his rooms working on something which he was apparently not inclined to discuss with Zero. Zero was inclined to pretend that he didn't care.

Actually, though, he was glad for the chance to get a little more prep in before they went at it again and was taking advantage of the time to study up on the only edge he realistically could hope to have against the pureblood. It was his unexpected good fortune that Aido seemed to always be in the library lately as well, necessitating that their paths crossed regularly. He wasn't sure what the aristocrat was working on so hard, but Aido was being quite secretive about it and Zero really couldn't care less what the other vampire got up to in his private time, so he didn't pry. Actually, he hadn't meant to end up working with the noble at all.

At first, he had just run a few ideas by Aido in passing to get his opinion, but Aido seemed to regard the whole unique endeavor as his brain child and despite what he claimed he was quite interested in the topic, so 'casual discussion' had quickly turned into collaboration. Aido was bossy and had an annoying tendency to assume that his was the ultimate and final word on any subject, but Zero found that once you got past the homicidal urge to kill him, he wasn't _so _bad.

Today the hunter had actually, reluctantly come here specifically to pick Aido's brain and bounce ideas off him, although he would have shot anyone who called him on it. He had brought a bribe – homemade lunch – and it had worked quite well. Lunch hour was long gone now, as was dinner hour, although it did not feel as if that much time had passed.

Rain beat on the darkened windows as it had continued to do every day, ignored by all because of its by now ubiquitous presence. Dawn was only a few hours off, but the sky remained sullen and black. The library was not as quiet as it usually was since classes were over and a number of other students were present, mulling around and working in study groups, indicating that they probably had a project of some kind coming due in one of their classes.

"I think that should work for all the charms that have the _aperio _element actually. But if they get complicated or involved, you'd probably better double check to make sure there aren't any other relational dependencies going on..." Aido mused thoughtfully. His blond head was cocked to the side as he gazed down at the paper, chin resting lightly on his fist.

"Wow, that sounds _really _boring," a voice remarked wryly. Shiki leaned on the back of Aido's chair, arms folded on the chair back as he peered over the blonde's shoulder. "Still kicking around the mystical mumbo-jumbo, huh?"

Shiki was obviously tired of whatever he'd been working on and had wandered away from his group, looking for something more entertaining. He gestured towards the hunter books strewing the table. "Why are you helping him craft _hunter _charms, anyway, Hanabusa?" he inquired. What they were doing was obvious to anyone eavesdropping.

Aido shot the younger, auburn-haired vampire an irritated look. "Maybe because he doesn't think it's _boring_, Senri," he intentionally used the other's first name in the same way his had been used. There wasn't any _real_ animosity in the bickering though.

Actually, that reason was probably part of the truth. Charm Lore was not a popular subject among young people in this day and age. Kain and Ruka were really the only other two vampires on campus who had a background in it like Aido did, but while Kain was pretty knowledgeable and would go along with Aido and assist him when he was dragged in to do so, he wasn't actually _interested _in it anymore, not like he had been when they were kids anyway. Ruka... well, Aido knew better than to go there. She was smart and quick-minded, but put the two of them alone in a room together for too long and they'd soon be wanting to claw each other's eyes out. It had been that way since they were kids.

Aido couldn't pretend he didn't find it kind of enjoyable to have someone else interested in this neglected science, even if it was... well... Kiriyu. Actually, Kiriyu was probably even more interested in it than he was. Aido found it fascinating to realize that hunters had an even deeper and richer history of charm lore than vampires did, since in days past they appeared to have relied on them more heavily to counter vampires' natural advantages in strength, speed and regeneration.

"Whatever," Shiki sighed in easy concession, although he really didn't get the appeal of studying when you didn't _have _to. "You have any Pocky left?" he inquired, casually poking at the box of chocolate covered biscuit sticks sitting by Aido's elbow. Aido's hand snapped down onto the box immediately, snatching it away.

"Hands off, you ate all of mine last time," he warned with a petulant look as he guarded his snack like it was gold. Zero guessed there must have been a recent influx of Pocky made available to the vampire student body in general or something, because had spotted several boxes of the popular treat on the library tables around them this evening.

"Hey, finders keepers..." Shiki teased with a shrug and a grin.

The hunter watched the two vampires' antics with amusement. Aido was pretty smart, he had to give him that, but the young noble could also act like such a child. Not that many of the others were much better. It was almost strange, actually... to get to see this side of the Night Class. To see them joke and study and bicker, relating in such an ordinary fashion. It was almost unsettling in its normalcy. He'd had frequent contact with them all in the past, of course, but always as an outsider with distrust and dislike heavy on both sides. It was different now, somehow. Even if he was still mostly ignored, the animosity levels towards him had taken a steep nosedive, at least among Kaname's inner circle. He knew this was because of the pureblood, and tried to be irritated about it... but the truth was maybe it wasn't so terrible to not feel like _everyone _hated you all the time. This troubled Zero though, because he didn't accept vampires and he certainly didn't _want _to be accepted by them either. Did he?

"You can have mine, Senri," Takuma offered from one of the nearby tables, having heard the conversation. He rose and stretched, making his way over with one chocolate-covered stick in his mouth, offering the box he was holding in his hand to the younger vamp.

"Thanks..." Shiki murmured with a dazzling smile as he stepped closer to Takuma. Instead of taking the proffered candy in the box, however, he deliberately leaned forward and took the free end of the Pocky stick in Takuma's mouth in his own. Taking it deep so that their faces were brought close, he deliberately sucked on it in a very suggestive manner as his gaze held Takuma's.

Takuma's face registered surprise, then a faint flush as Shiki slid his tongue along the candy between them, licking away the melting chocolate down to the biscuit core before sucking on it again with excruciating slowness. Shiki gave a small, low purr of enjoyment in his throat and Takuma almost visibly shivered, entranced by the sight in front of him. The younger aristocrat obviously was fully aware of that and just as fully enjoying his lover's reactions. He was significantly less bored now.

Takuma looked somewhere between flustered, delighted and embarrassed. His and Shiki's relationship wasn't a secret, but it wasn't common knowledge either and they were in a rather public place. Shiki couldn't have cared less though, obviously.

Aido made a mock-disgusted face as he watched them and rolled his eyes. "Oh, get a room."

Shiki laughed silkily, breaking a bite of the Pocky off as he stepped away from Takuma. "You're just jealous... sure you don't want to share your Pocky with me?" he teased, bending down and leaning _too _casually on Aido's shoulders.

"God no! Get away from me." Aido practically scrabbled to shove him off, which was obviously exactly the reaction Shiki wanted. The younger vampire smirked and stepped away.

Takuma was giving his companion the eyebrow, but it lost a lot of effect considering his face was still kind of flushed and he was looking at Shiki a little _too_ attentively. "Uh, Senri, we really ought to finish those projection models," he reminded, gesturing vaguely back towards their table and the study group they'd left behind, who were all smiling and trying to pretend they hadn't been watching the dorm vice president and his roommate. It was obvious that Takuma didn't really have his mind on studying, though.

"Right... back to work," Shiki sighed as they headed back towards their table. "Sure we couldn't take all this back to our room to finish up? We're almost done..."

"No, I think we'd better do it here," Takuma replied resignedly. _Because if we go back to our room we both know we're not going to get any studying done. _

Aido watched them for a moment before looking back to Zero with a _'gag me now'_ look on his face that Zero couldn't help grinning at. With deliberate over-officiousness, Aido pulled his box of Pocky out from where he'd hidden it and started munching on one. As an afterthought, he held the open box out across the table, offering some to Zero.

Zero slid one of the proffered sticks out of the box and held the un-coated end; biting a piece off the top and sucking on it as he glanced back down towards the books in front of them. "Thanks. Do you have other stuff you should be doing, Aido?" he inquired after a moment, realizing that his companion was the only one in the library working on something non-school related.

Aido sucked on his snack and gave a vague, dismissive shrug. "Nothing important." Which meant that he would put his project together at some later time... probably a few hours before it was due. It wasn't a topic that interested him, so he wasn't about to put much effort into it. The blonde stretched and rubbed a crick out of the back of his neck. Actually, Shiki had a point, Aido _was_ getting a little bored too. He'd been working for hours and even his enthusiasm for science had its limits.

"I'm probably going to call it a night though," he added.

Zero closed the book in front of him and started gathering up his scattered papers. "Wouldn't want to keep you from your beauty sleep..." he muttered in amusement, but actually he was quite ready to knock off as well. His eyes were crossing and he had a headache. He was going to dream charm formula tonight, he just knew it.

Zero was also vaguely disturbed, agitated, and he wasn't sure why exactly. Absently, as he gathered up his things and shoved them into his bag, he couldn't help wondering what Kaname was doing. The small thought that maybe he should go by his room and just look in on him skittered unexpectedly through the hunter's mind and was quickly quashed. Kaname was busy, he should let him alone. Besides, the pureblood wouldn't even tell him what he was doing, Zero would be damned if he was going to hang around Kuran's door like a puppy waiting for his attention.

No, he would be sleeping alone again back at the sun dorms, and he should be glad of that, shouldn't he? Only... he wasn't.

\--------------------------------------

Kaname didn't realize that he had missed dinner. Again. One of the maids had left a tray for him, but it remained untouched by his desk. He'd gotten a small break in the painstakingly sparse trail of breadcrumbs he was following on the additional medical research information he had obtained from Diachi as a follow-up to their negotiations at the party, and he had pursed it doggedly the past two days. Unfortunately, however, the result was not what he had hoped.

Currently he was listening to Seiren's report from the small wireless headset on his right ear, monitoring a conference call that he wasn't really taking part in with a similar device on his left ear and poking through the papers on his desk at the same time.

He slid the papers back with a small, short movement that was unusually brusque for him. Frustration was etched in his motions. What had started as a promising lead was quickly turning into yet another dead end and irritation was getting the better of him.

He was not used to being thwarted like this, to keep running into so many loops and fake leads. If he were the paranoid type, he would almost think that whoever it was he pursued had intentionally left a trail littered with false starts and fake hopes, taunting him with his inability to bring either justice or vengeance to those who had destroyed everything.

_Damn it! Where are you? _ _**Who** _ _are you? Who are you that you could have hidden your trail so well that even all the resources at my disposal can't root you out from whatever rock you've crawled under? Why did you do this? Why..._

It was perhaps the last question that plagued and ate at him the most. _Why. _The more he dug, the more he realized that someone had gone to an awful lot of trouble to manufacture the unique, custom pathogen that had killed Yuki, and had gone to even more trouble to cover his or her trail. Not the hasty cover up of someone hiding their tracks after a crime... no, this subterfuge had to have been set in place from day one... meaning that whoever had created that pathogen had started out with evil intent. But had the target always been Yuki? Or was she somehow a casualty in a bigger picture that Kaname simply couldn't grasp? There were a million easier and more direct ways to kill someone. It didn't make sense for all this work to have gone into targeting one young human girl...

Except that _this _human girl had been loved by the pureblood prince of vampires. That was the only conceivable reason someone would have gone to such lengths to harm her and at the same time made sure they kept their trail so clean.

This was about the only truth that Kaname was getting out of all his work. This truth that was becoming more and more obvious... and it hurt. So badly, so deeply that Kaname felt like he couldn't breathe half the time. He'd entertained many different possibilities in the beginning, perhaps in denial, perhaps hoping somehow that there might be some other reason that Yuki had been targeted besides the most obvious. But he couldn't ignore the facts. The thought that this had been aimed at him somehow filled him with both rage and despair. If he had not been part of Yuki's life, if he had not loved her... she would probably still be alive. He... he honestly didn't know how to live with that. How _could _you live every day, knowing that you'd cost someone you loved their life? And yet he did, proving perhaps how heartless he really was.

At least he hadn't told Zero about any of this yet. He'd been thinking about doing so. He missed the hunter's companionship these past few days, and hated giving Zero the impression he was too busy to spend time with him, but it was hard to share this pain with anyone else, and he was afraid. Afraid what it would do to Zero to dwell on Yuki's loss, afraid of how he might handle the disappointment and frustration of dead ends, which this had turned out to be yet again. Kaname was having enough trouble dealing with it, perhaps some part of him wanted to shield Zero from that. Or perhaps he was a little selfish... wanting this quest for himself. For Yuki. Or maybe... maybe he didn't want to give Zero all the more reason to hate him. He didn't know.

Kaname tugged the headset with the conference call off his ear. It was going nowhere and he didn't care to listen anymore. The small device crunched in his fist with a satisfying little electronic squeal as he balled his hand around it, flinging it on sudden impulse across the room with enough force to make a small hole in the wallboard as it embedded itself.

Seiren paused, keen ears hearing the tiny crunch and noting the subtle shift in Kaname's breathing on the other end of the line.

"Is everything all right, Kuran-sama?" she asked quietly. Kaname was grateful for her soft but businesslike tone. She had often served as his eyes and ears abroad over the years and he was aware that she could read him very well, but she was quiet, reserved, and not given to commenting on anything beyond what was required of her. An invaluable quality sometimes.

"Yes," he answered simply, even though it was a lie, and he knew the matter would be dropped. Once he finished the call, Kaname slid the ear piece free and dropped it to his desk, resisting the urge to smash it too. Wouldn't do any good. Breaking everything in his room might make him feel marginally better, but it wouldn't give him answers that he couldn't find, reveal that which was hidden... or bring Yuki back.

Kaname ran his fingers slowly over the documents spread out on his desk. There was a book underneath them and he unconsciously traced its shape. He'd found the book in his closet earlier when looking for something else. He shouldn't have taken it out and left it on his desk... he knew better than to leave dangerous reminders like that around... but he had anyway, perhaps seeking some connection with the past that sometimes felt like it was all too surely slipping away from him.

He scooted the papers back, revealing what was underneath. It was just a children's story book, an early reader. The bright, primary-color splashed cover was slightly worn from time and the glossy pages a bit dog-eared from use. She'd liked this one. That's why he'd kept it even after she had outgrown it. His fingers brushed the spine of the book, toying with the smooth edge, but not really seeing it as the focus of his mind unintentionally but unstoppably turned inward and back...

_"The big brown bear lum-bred down the hill to-wards the..." _

_"_ _**Lumbered, **__the big brown bear __**lumbered** __down the hill, Yuki," Kaname corrected patiently as he held the small girl on his lap. Her soft little head of silky brown hair was cradled under his chin, the book she was attempting to read aloud to him held in one hand while the other rested around her waist. They were curled up together on the couch in the Chairman's living room. _

_Yuki corrected herself and continued struggling through the children's book, Kaname quietly praising her efforts whenever she faltered or got frustrated. When the story was done, Yuki leaned back against his chest, her small, six-year-old frame fitting comfortably in his arms. He could feel the beat of her little heart through her back as her gentle, inquisitive fingers absently traced his bigger ones where he loosely held the now closed book. Kaname sat very still, just holding her and letting her explore him like she explored all of her world at that age, with innocent curiosity. In reality, Kaname was still something of a child himself, only he no longer felt like one. He'd had to grow up much too fast, but Yuki was still a precious safe spot where he could be young and innocent again for a while. _

_Yuki played contentedly with his long fingers, placing her hand over his as if measuring them against each other. She liked to touch him, and she was still too young to think that she should restrain that impulse for proprieties sake. _

_"Do the finger thing," she requested after a minute or two, pushing back against Kaname and curling into a tighter ball on his lap as if preparing to hear a ghost story. It was a fun, childish kind of fright thrill to witness what she was requesting he do. _

_"Yuki..." the preadolescent vampire couldn't help smiling a little, even as he protested. _

_"Pleeease?" she turned her big brown eyes up towards him and Kaname caved easily. _

_"Okay, but don't scream this time, you made Cross think I hurt you last time and I've still got a bump..." Kaname teased, rubbing his head. Actually, Cross would never have touched him except, embarrassingly, to hug the young pureblood, but Kaname's words had the desired effect and made Yuki giggle. _

_Holding her safely close with one arm, Kaname held the other out in front of them and as Yuki watched, wide-eyed, his fingers and nails elongated into impossibly long, thin claws. Kaname waggled them and Yuki squealed, turning and burying her face against his chest. She wasn't really scared, but it was just... freaky... and fascinating. _

_Kaname's fingers quickly shrunk back to normal size and slid to rest gently on the back of Yuki's little head. "Why do you want to see if it frightens you, dear one?" he inquired softly, bemused. _

_Yuki peeped up at him, small hands twined in his shirt. "I'm not scared," she told him. "It's just... funny. Why can't my hands do that? I want to." _

_Kaname gathered both her little hands in his and lifted her knuckles gently to his lips for a soft kiss. "Because your hands are perfect the way they are," he murmured softly and she smiled at him. He lived for her smile. _

_No, she wasn't scared, not now. Not after she'd gotten over her initial fear of his teeth last year. He often let her touch them, to reassure her, to try to take away the fearful mystery of it and let her know they wouldn't hurt her. It was a little difficult, because he couldn't tell her why his skin would warm and his breath would shake just a little sometimes when she did. It wasn't her fault that his fangs were so sensitive it was kind of like being fondled. Her touch was completely innocent and he welcomed it as a sign of her trust in him._

_But someday maybe that would change, and Yuki would grow away from him, would be afraid of him, when she understood more... when the danger became real to her. Someday maybe she would look at him like her mother and father had once done, with the accusing realization that the cute child they used to trust had turned into a beast... He prayed the day was far, far away. Because he loved this little girl with all of his young heart. It wasn't romantic love, not yet, not at that age, but it was still the kind of love that wanted to spend forever with someone, treasuring and protecting them with all the naive innocence of youth._

Small, round wet spots appeared on the paper on the desk and Kaname blinked numbly, unable to process for a minute that it was his tears that were marring the crisp linen. He hurriedly wiped his eyes and straightened up. The tears stopped, but the pain in his heart didn't. The memory had been unbidden, but so achingly clear.

_Yuki... _

Kaname leaned back in his chair and ran a hand down his face, staring up at the ceiling. He was almost too good at repressing his own memories when he didn't want to deal with them. Sometimes he felt like the past was growing farther away by the day and he was losing it. Losing _her _in some way. Losing her memory, betraying her by not grieving her every second of the day, even as he struggled to find some kind of closure through solving the mystery of her death.

He had loved her. He really had. More than life. He would have done anything for her... only everything he had tried to do had only blown up in his face. Kind of like it had a tendency to do now, with Zero. What was this curse that made him hurt anyone he cared about? And... and what was he _doing_, anyway? Oughtn't he to feel bad that he had latched onto Zero so quickly, even if he could try to convince himself it was only for physical comfort and pleasure? Zero at least had the decency to be hesitant and reluctant, but what did that say about _him_?

Was it the animal part of him that could use people so easily? That could dare to find happiness again with someone in any form after having so totally failed and caused the death of the one person he'd sworn to protect from infancy? What _right _did he have to feel the way he did?

Kaname shoved back his chair harshly and rose, agitated by the sudden, unordered rush of anguished uncertainty and confusion assailing him. He was such a screw up. He'd promised Yuki he'd take care of Zero... not roll into bed with him at every possible opportunity. Was he really _that _weak?

Guilt was a feeling Kaname hated and he didn't know what to do with the trunk loads of it he was carrying around these days. He was good at repressing his feelings and tamping down those irritating little inner voices that whispered doubts and condemnations in the back of his mind. But sometimes... like now... they reared up and slammed him in the face all the harder for being ignored. He felt like the walls were closing in, his chest tightening as it became hard to breathe, hard to think... he wanted to cry, or kill someone. It just... _hurt _so bad.

Kaname forced himself to lie down on his bed, hands clenching and unclenching silently. If he left his rooms right now, he might hurt someone. No... he _would _hurt someone. It was despicable that shedding blood and causing someone else pain would probably ease his suffering. He was such a monster. It wasn't that gutting the first person he saw would actually make him feel better, but it would make him feel _less. _It would be catering to his vampire nature and letting it have rule over him. _That_ side of him didn't feel pain like this. That side of him didn't have a heart that was capable of being so broken. But that side of him was like a dangerous drug if he let it have unchecked control too often, and he knew that.

Kaname screwed his eyes shut and chose an equally unforgivable, but less violent option. He let the pain have its way. Let the tears slide down his cheeks silently to the pillow as his fingers curled into the bedspread on either side of his body, clutching it as soft sobs shook him. Every day, he spent trying to force Yuki out of his mind. But he let her live there again for a little while now, torturing himself remembering her face, her eyes, her smile, the gentle touch of her fingers... The day her parents brought her to see him for the first time – a little bundle in a pink blanket with impossibly small, wrinkly fingers and huge eyes. The day she lost her first tooth and wouldn't tell the Chairman, hiding it until Kaname came to visit and earnestly, urgently insisting that he put it back in for her, because apparently she thought he could do anything. The day she had graduated from high school, radiant in her cap and gown as she threw her arms around his neck and gave him a delighted hug and a deliciously warm kiss. _Oh God... how much pain could one heart handle? _

Rolling over, Kaname sobbed softly into his pillow as he let himself miss her, and all the warmth, understanding and purpose that she had brought into his life.

And even now... even in the midst of his pain... his heart cried for someone else too. His heart cried for Zero, wanted to hold him, to be close to him, to fill some of the emptiness that was tearing him apart with the hunter's warm, silent presence. It was unforgivable.

_I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... please forgive me, Yuki... forgive me for being so weak. Forgive me that your memory is not enough..._

\--------------------------------------

Zero listened to the soft, strangely hollow patter of the rain on the window as he emptied his bag on his bed, searching through the books and papers with a consternated frown. _Well, crap. _He'd taken notes on a charm he wanted to try – not one with potentially explosive results, he wouldn't do those in his dorm room – but apparently he had left a couple of the important pages back in the library and accidentally grabbed some of Aido's notes instead. He hadn't realized he'd been so distracted.

It was frustrating though, he really had wanted to try it out while it was fresh in his mind... and he didn't feel like sleeping. If he lay down he would have too much time to think... and there were too many things he didn't want to think about. Zero rubbed his neck distractedly. He needed to move, to be busy... he was agitated, unsettled and he didn't know why. He wasn't consciously aware of the raw, distressed emotions seeping through the bond he shared with Kaname, but they were putting him on edge anyway.

Well fine, he'd just go back to the library and get his notes. He didn't want to leave them with Aido anyway, the blonde might simply throw them away, thinking Zero didn't want them anymore. Come to think of it, Aido might need his notes for class or something too... the hunter paused to read the flowing script on the pages he'd separated from his own. One page was just notes about the charms he and Zero had been discussing, but a couple of the other pages were different. They were devoted to some kind of complicated theory relating to... purebloods? Kind of looked like that. Actually, a slightly slower skim gave the impression that it was part of some kind of comprehensive report on pureblood's abilities to manipulate other's wills and bind them.

Zero made a face and did not care to read farther, stacking Aido's papers together and sliding them back into his bag to be returned. He wondered if that was part of whatever project Aido was working on? Maybe that's why he didn't want to talk about it, because it related to purebloods and Aido was all kinds of touchy on the subject of pureblood sanctity and all that.

It was perhaps bittersweet, that the most obvious thought did not cross the ex-human's mind.

Zero paused thoughtfully. He could hear the soft sounds of the prefects' footsteps sloshing through the rain outside as they hurried along under their umbrellas, doing their nightly rounds. He remembered how irksome patrol had been on the rainy nights; when he and Yuki... he cut that thought off quickly. _No. Don't go there._

The two current guardians were likely to get on his case again if they caught him leaving the dorm at this hour after having only just come back. It was getting near dawn and the chance that other students would note his comings and goings increased. Normally, he would be able to pass pretty unobserved if he wanted to, but the rain made it difficult because footsteps splashed and you either got soaked, or used a noisy and very visible umbrella.

The hunter's fingers drummed thoughtfully against his thigh. On the other hand, maybe if he just got a little creative, he wouldn't have to disturb anyone...

\--------------------------------------

Kaname prowled silently down the hallway. His composure was back in place; his face showed no hint of the weakness of grief he had allowed himself not long ago, but his aura was moody and unsettled. He'd gotten over feeling like he needed to kill someone, so he judged it was safe to go out again. His room was too quiet. Too... empty. Usually he liked the silence, but tonight the hollow beat of the rain on his windows was just mocking laughter in the empty space, reminding him of his failures and his losses.

There was the unformed thought inside him that maybe Zero was still around here somewhere. Maybe he would want to spend the night with him... _guilt_, he felt so much guilt at those faint hopes. He was so pathetic to fear being alone this way, to keep running to Zero to try and deal with the emptiness inside him.

Kaname set his jaw. He could do this on his own. He didn't _need _anyone. It wasn't like he was alone, after all, there were dozens of other students in the dorm. He had friends he could turn to, didn't he?

The pureblood entered the library with measured, even strides. All eyes left their books and turned in his direction. It wasn't an obvious, or even a cognizant gesture, but the nobles couldn't help it. The presence of a pureblood called to them, drawing their attention, especially when the pureblood in question was unconsciously emanating a feeling similar to that of the stormy night outside.

Kaname felt their eyes on him and he tensed. The glances were brief, respectful and discrete to be sure, but it didn't matter. He could feel them. He knew that just by walking into a room he drew everyone's

attention. He was more or less used to it of course, but it was still not an entirely comfortable feeling sometimes, especially when he was troubled and felt that too many eyes brought too much scrutiny, too many chances to mess up in front of witnesses.

He may not want to be alone, but he didn't want to be in a crowd either.

His gaze swept the library. "Isn't it getting late?" he inquired quietly to no one in particular. The words were casual and well mannered, but everyone in the library heard them and they drew an instant response.

Chairs scraped back from tables, books closed and papers shuffled as all the students quickly started gathering up their things to leave. There was no mistaking the implied dismissal in the pureblood's tone and the vampires complied respectfully, the library already almost empty by the time Kaname had reached the back of the room.

"Stay," the pureblood said simply as he saw several of the study groups in the back gathering up their things as well. A brief glance and those who were being spoken to knew who that statement had been meant to include, and who it wasn't. The bulk of the group took their leave with respectful nods and murmurs of 'good evening, Kaname-sama', leaving behind Takuma, Kain, Ruka, Aido and Shiki. The other students may envy those within Kaname's inner circle, but they would never show such a thing in his presence.

Ruka shot Kaname a concerned, slightly longing look as she settled her bag back on the table. Takuma and Shiki set down the small heap of notebooks and loosely stacked projection charts they had gathered up. Aido looked up from the small Himalayan structure of books he had been in the middle of attempting to organize. Kain apparently wasn't actually carrying any books, so he just pushed his hands into his pockets, leaning against the wall and waiting to find out what was up.

They were all looking at Kaname curiously, but he didn't mind their eyes on him so much. Not anymore.

"Is everything all right, Kaname?" Takuma inquired with a small smile, trying not to look concerned at the melancholy sensations his friend was giving off.

"Yes, I'm just looking for a book. Please, continue your studies, don't let me disturb you," Kaname said easily as he crossed over to the bookshelf to scan the titles.

Right. That was why he'd emptied the library and yet wanted them to stay. Obviously, he'd already disturbed them, but the other vampires played along, slowly taking seats at Aido's table and pulling their books and notes back out. There wasn't really much actual work they could do, since they were now separated from the rest of their study groups, but it was clear that Kaname wanted to be with them, yet not at the center of attention. So they gave him that, talking quietly amongst themselves, discussing their projects, chatting... gently ignoring Kaname as he obviously wished, but including him in the unspoken circle of their camaraderie. It was a game Takuma was well accustomed to, and he guided the others a little at first until they caught on.

Kaname listened to them as his fingers slid absently across the spines of the books on the shelf before him, experiencing the soothing warmth of their companionship from a distance. He wasn't part of them... he would never truly be able to be part of them, but it was enough to listen and observe... and to not be alone.

After a few minutes the pureblood came over and laid a hand on Aido's shoulder, almost making the blonde jump and then look sheepish.

Kaname looked slightly amused. "Aido, come with me a moment?" he requested simply, inclining his head away behind them and giving the others a small smile that told them they could continue on as they were.

Aido quickly rose and followed Kaname further forward into the library where they could speak more privately, if they kept their voices pitched low. Of course, no one would have dared eavesdrop on something Kaname wanted kept private anyway.

"Think he's in trouble again?" Ruka inquired of Kain with a wry arch of her eyebrow after they'd left. Her gaze lingered unconsciously on the auburn-haired vampire as it did more often lately.

Kain shrugged with a small sigh. "Who knows? I'm sure I'll be hearing about it if he is."

Shiki drummed his fingers on the table, working his way through another stick of Pocky. He was bored, but trying not to show it. He pondered if he should save some of the Pocky for Rima when she got back from her photo shoot tomorrow. "Think something's up with Kaname?" he asked Takuma quietly, unsure how to read his older cousin.

Takuma gave an indecisive headshake. "I think he just wants to have his friends close for a little while," he replied softly.

"Is there something you want, Kaname-sama?" Aido had that earnest, eager look on his face again as Kaname turned back towards him once they were alone between two tall bookshelves. The pureblood had to smile faintly. He didn't need a puppy, he had Aido.

"I was merely curious if you had found any information on that issue I asked you to research for me?" Kaname inquired. It wasn't really why he'd come down here, but he did want to know and it beat standing around pretending to look for a book.

\--------------------------------------

Zero found the muffling charm he'd wrapped himself in to be very effective. It wasn't anti-vampire in nature, so it gave him no trouble. This one he'd actually learned as a child, from Yagari, although he hadn't tried it in many years. He'd stopped doing a lot of things after he was bitten, feeling somehow he didn't deserve to. His life had simply stopped that day in so many ways. It evoked some mixed feelings in him now, delving back into these things after all this time, but they weren't necessarily bad feelings.

This charm was actually intended to mask a hunter's presence – sound, and scent – from vampires, but it apparently worked just fine on humans and other hunters too. The two prefects hadn't noticed him when he'd slipped by them in the dark on his way back towards the Moon Dorms. It gave him a small shiver though because he couldn't help thinking that if he had meant them harm... he could have dropped them both before they knew what hit them, charm or no charm.

It was another reminder that the outwardly tame vampire aristocracy inhabiting the Moon Dorms were only not a threat to the rest of the campus because they chose not to be. Or perhaps more accurately, because Kaname told them not to be.

Pushing aside these unpleasant thoughts, Zero let himself in through one of the Moon Dorm's back doors and shook water out of his hair, pulling his bag out from under his shirt where he'd held it to keep it mostly dry. He grinned ruefully. Okay, maybe he should have taken the umbrella. He wasn't quite drenched, but he was pretty wet. He was dripping on the carefully polished marble floors in the hall. _Oh well._

He figured he would go see if Aido was still in the library, give him back his papers and get his own. Depending on how well the charm was working... maybe Zero would give Aido a little start in the process. The idea of suddenly showing up behind the blonde without having his approach noticed was tempting. _If _Aido was still there.

That possibility seemed to dwindle as Zero approached the library and became aware that it was almost empty, in direct opposition to how it had been when he had left, not more than a half hour before. That was... odd, and Zero's footsteps slowed cautiously as he entered the room. Even the librarian was gone, but all the lights were still on, and he could hear voices from the back of the room, hidden from sight by the rows of book shelves and the curving architecture of the room.

With the muffling charm still in place, those in the back had not seemed to notice his arrival and Zero quietly slipped further in, staying hidden behind the bookshelves as he tried to figure out what was going on, and if this was something to worry about or not. Zero could tell that Kaname was in here. He could feel the pureblood's presence tingling in his senses, both hunter and vampire. Despite his better judgment, a sudden protective streak reared its head and he wanted to make sure that everything was all right.

A moment later, Zero was able to make out Kaname's low, familiar voice, speaking nearer at hand than the others in the back. At about the same time, Zero realized that he recognized the other voices too. Kain, it sounded like, and Ruka, possibly some of the others as well. He relaxed a bit, deciding that there was likely nothing to worry about after all. He was in the midst of hesitating in indecision over whether he really wanted to run into Kaname tonight or not, when the pureblood's words made him pause and listen closer.

_"I was merely curious if you had found any information on that issue I asked you to research for me?"_

_"About... the, um, the binding? Yes, I've looked into all the information that the historical records can provide."_ It was Aido's voice. There was a faint note of un-sureness or unease in his tone, but he still sounded like a student who wanted very much to impress the teacher.

Zero froze. Aido had been researching binding for _Kaname_? He should have suspected that of course, after all, Aido had been researching hunter charms for Kaname the first time they'd met in the library, but somehow, he just hadn't made the connection. Perhaps because he didn't _want _to make the connection.

_"The ability to bind ex-humans is unique to purebloods, same as the ability to create them. There's no explanations given and no charm that can come close, although some imitate a certain amount of control over the subject," _Aido was saying.

Zero listened through a growing haze of stunned apprehension as Aido briefly but thoroughly outlined what he had found in the course of his research.

_"But would that still work if the ex-human was also a hunter?" _Kaname interrupted after a moment, the question quiet, simple... and devastating to the one who was overhearing it.

_"That should make no difference," _Aido's voice was soft, unusually subdued, but Zero barely noticed. His heart sank through the floor and then jumped up to pound wildly in his throat and ears. He felt frozen, torn in a million different directions by shock, betrayal, anger and fear. His stomach felt cold, sick. He ought to run, but he was frozen, his mind was spinning in tight, agonized little circles. _Oh God... Kaname was going to bind him. _

The sick, suffocating terror he'd experienced at the Sato's party slammed into him again with brutal force, almost making the room spin. _Kaname was going to bind him._ Maybe he would have already, but he hadn't been sure it would work? Well, he was now, wasn't he? _Oh crap..._ It felt surreal. Like a nightmare. He remembered the way Kaname had spoken of binding the night of the party... like there was some occasions where it might be acceptable... why hadn't Zero seen it then? Had he been blind because he wanted to be blind? Because he wanted to believe that Kaname wouldn't do that to him? That Kaname cared enough about him to not turn him into a slave puppet on a string?

Obviously, he was deluding himself. Kaname wanted simply to possess him, nothing more.

Perhaps Zero should have felt a little more hurt that Aido had been working on this the whole time they were working together, doubtless knowing exactly what he was doing... but Zero was too consumed with hurt and anger towards Kaname to feel much else. Aido would do whatever Kaname told him to, all those blood suckers would. All but Zero, of course. Apparently, the pureblood intended to fix that.

_You freaking, FREAKING idiot, Kiriyu! Never trust a vampire, NEVER. _Zero was shaking. There was something inside him that couldn't reconcile the tender, passionate man he had come to know, had come to... to _care _for, with the one who apparently intended to rape his mind and soul and break him for eternity so that he would be a less troublesome bed toy. He'd given Kaname everything... his dependence, his blood, his virginity, his... his heart... but that didn't mean anything. It wasn't enough, apparently, Kaname didn't care about him, he just wanted a willing and obedient slave. The shock of betrayal cut so deep he didn't know how to deal with it. He felt like he was coming apart. Ruthless anger and despairing anguish surged wildly. Dangerous tears stung his eyes and he stumbled back a pace, suffocating, feeling the desperate need to escape, to run. To get so very far away that Kaname could never find him... only Zero didn't think there was any place on earth that far. He couldn't stay here at the Academy though, that much was certain.

Zero hurried back towards the exit, but in his reeling rush he wasn't entirely mindful of his surroundings and he almost literally ran into the librarian who was on her way back to see if Kaname still required the use of the library or if she should close up for the approaching day.

"Kiriyu!" she yelped in surprise, his muffling charm still in effect so she had had no warning that he was approaching. Vampire reflexes on both sides kept them from actually colliding, but it was a near miss and the elder woman grabbed Zero's arm, both slightly for balance and to keep him from rushing right on by. "Slow down, no running in the library or the hall," she lectured with the air of a teacher talking to a known problem student.

Zero tried to pull away from her, but the damage was already done. Everyone had heard her call his name.

Between the book shelves, a faint, delighted look crossed Kaname's face and he quickly lifted his hand towards Aido for silence. Aido quite willingly clammed up. Kaname stepped out from between the shelves, gaze honing in on Zero who had frozen in the entry halfway across the room. Because he'd not sensed Zero's presence before, Kaname assumed the hunter had been running _into _the library, not _out _of it, and he was glad to see him.

"Zero, I thought you'd already gone back to the Sun Dorms. Come, join us," Kaname invited as he crossed towards the ex-human, almost hating himself for how eager he sounded in his own ears. Aido appeared behind Kaname a moment later.

Everything was screaming for Zero to run, but he knew better, he'd been trained as a better hunter than that. Vampires were like animals, you didn't run, you didn't show fear or their instincts would kick in and they'd be on you in an instant. From the way Kaname was behaving, he was either a damn good actor or he didn't realize Zero had overheard him. The hunter couldn't be sure which it was. He couldn't be sure of anything anymore. How could Kaname look at him, _smile _at him like that while he planned what he was planning? How could he live a lie so damn convincingly that even now, looking into those dark eyes, Zero wanted to believe the flicker of warmth that they held...?

Zero ruthlessly suppressed the pain in his chest, covering it with cold, cold anger. He forced his breathing to slow and his body signs to regulate. Okay, if Kaname didn't realize he was wise to him, then it behooved Zero to play along and not tip his hand until he'd figured out what he was going to do. _Think, Kiriyu, don't just react, __**think**__. _The hunter had the presence of mind to silently dispel the muffling charm he'd been using before Kaname could sense that something was off about him. He was lucky it was an easy one that was controlled by the will.

Zero swallowed carefully, running a hand through his wet hair to try and hide the fact that it was trembling. "No, I have to go, I just... um, I forgot some of my notes. I think I left them with your papers, Aido. Are they still there?" he asked, forcing casualness, forcing himself to sound as normal as was possible under the circumstances. It took a lot of will power, but he made himself walk further into the library, past Kaname and Aido and back towards the table they had been at earlier. He could see other familiar faces seated at that table now, glancing curiously at the wet, tense ex-human coming towards them.

_Just go back, get your papers, and leave... _Zero told himself, urgent to get out of there. His fingers itched to slide under his jacket and curl around the handle of the Bloody Rose, but he knew better than to be that obvious and they merely twitched at his side. His body language screamed tension and unease that even a blind man could have seen, but the vampires were used to Zero being moody and terse.

Aido lifted his eyebrows, following Zero back to the table. "Oh, really? I hadn't noticed, they must have gotten mixed in with my notes. Let me check..." he said, scooting Kain out of the way with his elbow and rifling through the paper's he'd stacked and un-stacked a few too many times that day.

"You don't have to wait for us, I will close up the library when we leave," Kaname assured the librarian, knowing what she had come for. The woman nodded and withdrew. Kaname frowned slightly as he turned away and slowly followed where Zero and Aido had already gone. He could tell something was wrong with Zero, the boy was acting all kinds of odd and jittery, but he wasn't sure why. He hadn't really seen or spent time with the boy in the past two days. Had something happened?

"Here, these them?" Aido asked as he separated out a couple pages of hand written notes that were obviously not his writing and proffered them to Zero. Zero barely looked at them but reached across the table and snagged the sheaf quickly, shoving them into his bag.

"Hey!" Ruka protested, scooting back quickly as Zero's wet shirt dripped water onto her blouse when he leaned over her shoulder.

Zero ignored her, ignored them all, turning quickly away. "Thanks," he mumbled, starting to make a bee-line for the exit.

Kaname's hand snaked out and caught his elbow, fingers closing around his upper arm in a firm grip that arrested his movement, keeping him from leaving. Something was definitely not right about the hunter and the pureblood was starting to worry. "Zero, wait..."

Zero started hard at Kaname's touch, at being restrained. Fear stabbed icily in the raw, churning pit of his gut. _Kaname knew... the pureblood knew and he was just playing with him like a cat with a mouse. _Zero's book bag slipped from his grip and tumbled to the floor. His frayed nerves snapped and he panicked. Anger – at Kaname, and even more so at the sheer depth of his own fear only added to the emotional maelstrom raging inside him. _You son of a bitch! You lying, two-faced son of a bitch! _

Zero jumped back, snap-twisting his arm to get it free and jabbing at Kaname with his other arm to make the pureblood duck back. Kaname was caught stunned and completely flat-footed by the violent reaction but his reflexes saved him from getting punched in the face. He ducked in time, forced to let go of Zero's arm, but avoiding the blow.

Instinct took over and even before Zero had finished stepping back Kaname was behind him, grabbing his other arm and twisting it, pulling the hunter back against him. He didn't know what Zero's problem was, but he needed him to be still and calm down so they could talk reasonably. Sparring in the gym was one thing, fighting in front of other vampires who might see the ex-human's attack as, well... an _attack_, was quite another. "Zero! What the _hell_ are you-"

Zero knew the pin that Kaname was going for as he pulled him backwards, he'd sparred with the pureblood too often to not know his moves. But this wasn't a game now. Anger and fear were pumping through Zero's body, instinct and reaction driving his swift, decisive movements. His free hand went under his jacket and closed around the handle of his gun. Another instant and he had it out. Dropping down, he forced Kaname to have to shift his grip to compensate for his opponent's lowering center of gravity. Using that bit of leeway to spin around, Zero squeezed the trigger. He wasn't trying to kill Kaname, despite having every reason in the world to want to. Deep down... he couldn't even consider that. But he was acting on sheer survival instinct and just wanted to put distance between them, to escape.

Kaname saw the familiar flash of the Bloody Rose in Zero's hand and only just moved in time to avoid taking the bullet point-blank in the gut. It grazed his side instead, tearing his shirt and spreading a stabbing tingle of pain up and down his ribs as the anti-vampire bullet reacted with his body.

Everyone was on their feet now. Chairs scrapped and banged against the floor as they were abruptly abandoned. Chaos reigned.


	17. No Longer Myself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _A/N: I had wanted to cover more ground in this chapter, but it was getting pretty long, so I had to try to find a good breaking point... which was difficult and I'm not sure I succeeded, but oh well, here it is. Please don't hate Kaname for this chapter, remember, he's hurting too and he doesn't realize _ _ **why ** _ _Zero is suddenly reacting to him the way he is._

**Chapter Seventeen: "No Longer Myself" **

Kaname reeled in shock and pain. He didn't understand this, he didn't understand any of it... Zero was acting like he was crazy, possessed... Zero had _shot _him... Yes, the hunter had done so before, but Kaname had rather thought they were past that stage of their relationship. Hurt and anger mingled freely and the pureblood snarled, snatching a fistful of Zero's jacket before he could retreat and throwing him sideways. Zero collided with the nearest bookshelf and loose books tumbled off, falling to the floor as the shelf wobbled.

The sudden swell of alarmed, angry vampire vibes filling the room throbbed in Zero's senses, making his head pound in time with his heart. Nothing screamed _danger _to a hunter like stirred up vampires, and everyone in the library was now very stirred up.

Zero let his fall take him down and rolled back to his feet like a cat. He felt more than saw several someones coming at him, and he snapped his gun up reflexively to protect himself. It was probably his only chance of survival at this point, but he had a critical half moment of pause that was unforgivable for a hunter. This was why hunters and vampires should not mingle, why it was deadly to consider them as real living beings, why it was unforgivable to do what Zero only realized now he had done. He'd let the enemy become _people_ with faces and lives. People he knew and... didn't actually want to possibly kill.

Kaname was quicker than all of them. He got between Zero and the other vampires before they could reach him. Zero had never seen him move so fast, not even when they were sparring. It was like he literally appeared from nowhere and Zero realized with a small, sick jolt that Kaname had been holding out on him, not _quite _throwing his full strength at the hunter when they were together.

The pureblood had Zero's gun wrist gripped in one hand and his shirt front bunched in the other before Zero even realized he was there. The hunter found himself dragged forward and sideways as Kaname spun him and slammed his back hard into the wall. He pinned Zero's right hand to the wall by his head, squeezing until the ex-human's numb fingers had to let go of the gun or let Kaname break his wrist.

The Bloody Rose clattered to the floor and Zero knew in his gut that he was toast. But it didn't show in his flashing, angry eyes – the long-practiced and well established barriers of silent rage and hatred instinctively rearing up around his hurting heart and mind. He panted softly, glaring lethally at the other as Kaname held him pinned, using his mental as well as physical power to hold the ex-human very firmly in place. Zero's back and head ached from the sharp impact with the wall, but he hardly noticed.

Kaname was also breathing hard, an angry snarl painting his features as he tried to rein himself in and pull back from the surge of vampire adrenaline brought on by the unexpected fight. He kept Zero against the wall, but his body was positioned so that it was not just restraining Zero... he was actually protecting him too. Zero had just done something completely unforgivable, in front of witnesses. He had harmed a pureblood. Considering the crazed, dangerous way the hunter was acting, only Kaname's intervention had kept the others from jumping him out of protective instinct.

Kaname turned his head slowly towards the five nobles who were all crowded around now, shocked, horrified and confused – ready to defend him. Their eyes glowed red. Kaname wasn't wearing his charm bracelet right now. He felt the warm trickle of blood trace down his side and knew the scent it was putting out, knew what it was doing to the others, what it brought out in them. _Zero, you idiot! _

"Return to your seats," Kaname commanded coolly, through his teeth. For a moment, no one moved and Kaname's glare sharpened, his tone turning harsher. "Now!"

Slowly... with great reluctance, the others obeyed, but their eyes remained riveted on the pureblood and the ex-human. The red was starting to fade a little as they struggled to regain control of themselves.

"This incident did not happen. It will not be spoken of, do you understand me?" Kaname's voice was hard and serious, brooking no disobedience. He didn't know what was wrong with Zero, but he couldn't afford for this little outburst to leak out. If once the Council got it in their heads that Zero was a threat to purebloods in general, even Kaname wouldn't be able to protect him.

Kaname knew these five would keep his secret, but this was not good. The fact that he would harbor Zero after an attack like that was an open and glaring display of how much he must need Zero, of how weak he really was. _Damn it all to hell! _

Seething, and more than a little hurt, Kaname's eyes flashed darkly as they turned back towards Zero. The gunshot wound wasn't bad, it was only a graze, but it was who had delivered it that hurt. The pureblood was already in an unstable emotional state tonight. This unprovoked attack from the one person with whom he most wanted to seek comfort was more painful than he wanted to admit. "Have you lost your _mind_?" he demanded angrily of the ex-human.

"Like you give a damn!" Zero shot back, fighting a bit for breath against the pressure Kaname was placing on his chest. The boy was still struggling, forcing Kaname to keep him tightly pinned.

The pureblood's expression darkened, not understanding and misinterpreting Zero's words. _God, please tell me this isn't just because Zero's feeling neglected these past few days or something stupid like that? _"Is that what this is about? You know, there are better ways of getting my attention if you feel you haven't been screwed enough lately!" the pureblood seethed viciously, for a moment unmindful or perhaps not caring that they were not alone. Zero was acting completely ridiculously and it _hurt _damn it! It took a lot of control to hold onto his calm and not physically lash out at the boy. He couldn't quite manage that much control verbally.

Giving Zero a small shove, he finally released the struggling hunter and stepped carefully back, watching cautiously to see if he would attack once more or if he was ready to calm down and try acting sane again. If he hadn't known by looking in his eyes that Zero wasn't _actually_ crazed, he would have been terrified that the boy was battling Level E madness again.

Zero felt the sharp sting of humiliation pierce him to mingle the rest of his raw, bleeding emotional pain as Kaname reminded him so very clearly of what he was, in front of everyone. Zero almost choked on all the hurt as he pushed warily away from the wall once he was released. He knew better than to think he could escape, Kaname or someone else would grab him if he tried to run again. His gaze darted to where the Bloody Rose had fallen, but it had skittered halfway across the room, out of reach. He was such a fool. Such a damn, freaking fool.

"Me?" the trapped hunter half laughed, half choked in bitter, angry misery. "Hey, I'm not the freak who enjoys having his neck torn open while somebody rips him a new asshole!" he spat, silver eyes blazing with fury, hatred and so much pain. It was a hurtful, uncharacteristic thing to say, but Zero felt like the whole world had been pulled out from under his feet and for a few irrational moments he just wanted to hurt Kaname as badly as the damn pureblood had hurt him. _Why did you make me care about you? Why did you make me have to live this twisted, disgusting lie? _

Kaname actually froze, staring at him with a deeper look of shock then when he'd been shot. _Oh God... _Zero hadn't _really_ just said that in front of everyone... hadn't just told them in no uncertain terms that Kaname was practically his... his... _bitch. _

"I... you... that wasn't..." the jumbled, aborted words tumbled out with completely abnormal awkwardness before the pureblood snapped his mouth shut, realizing the unfixable damage he'd just done to himself. A deep, painful, humiliated flush appeared on his pale throat and cheeks. To anyone who knew him, that was startling enough to be completely shocking, but like his stuttered words, it had happened before Kaname could stop it, before he could control his reaction. _That_, he knew, was what would damn him. If he had shrugged Zero's slur off with his usual coolness, no one would have believed it, but his own off-kilter inability to control himself was what gave him away, which only made him burn with even deeper shame.

Zero took a certain grim satisfaction in the look on the pureblood's face, but it was tinged with unwanted guilt. He should enjoy Kaname's obvious dismay after the way the pureblood had used and betrayed him, but... well, he was apparently just that stupid. Revenge at this point was meaningless and hollow and somehow even that managed to hurt.

Kaname couldn't breathe. That knife he'd so foolishly insisted on handing Zero time and again had finally been stabbed in his back and for a long, horrible moment, he didn't even know how to respond. Perhaps it was unfair for him to take it so hard, considering what he had said first, but the pureblood wasn't able to see it that way right now. The fact that he would surrender control to Zero like he did was still frightening to him, and yet deeply special at the same time. But it was _private, _damn it! Something that Kaname had given to _Zero_, and Zero alone, not for anyone else to know about or judge! That the hunter would use such an intimate, personal, private moment of trust between them against Kaname, to discredit him in front of his inner circle, in front of the only other people he came close to feeling remotely comfortable with, those whose respect he needed to command the most... _betrayal _wasn't quite a deep enough word for what the pureblood was feeling.

There were so few places Kaname could feel safe... now he'd just lost most of them. How could he look at the others again? Did Zero realize how utterly he'd just flushed the pureblood's reputation in the eyes of everyone present? Yes, perhaps it was hideously unfair that it was fine for everyone to assume he was doing Zero, yet not fine for them to think the reverse, but respect and perception meant _everything _in vampire society. The sad truth was that as an ex-human, Zero had nothing to lose and actually gained a certain amount of standing by "belonging" to Kaname. Kaname, however, had everything to lose.

The room had suddenly fallen deathly silent. The poor nobles who had been subjected to this whole, confusing mess found themselves very much wishing they were anywhere else but here, witnessing something that would have been so much better dealt with in private. The red had faded completely from their eyes now and they were back in control of their faculties, but for the second time in the past few minutes they were finding themselves completely shocked, both by the brazen audacity of Zero's initially ludicrous statement but then even more so by Kaname's completely unanticipated, guilty reaction.

A few heartbeats later confusion and unwanted understanding settled in and they looked like they would like nothing better than to pretend they hadn't heard anything, and weren't unwillingly mentally visualizing certain things that made them all incredibly uncomfortable. Ruka looked like she was briefly trying to figure out if killing Zero was _totally _off limits, and if maiming fell into that same category. Kain's expression suggested that he was still skeptical of the idea, but prepared to believe there was an explanation they might not have been given. Aido had colored up redder than Kaname and was staring at his hands. Even Shiki had dropped his bored look for one of slightly blank shock. Not so much at _what _Zero said, but at the fact that he'd actually _said_ it. Did the guy have a death wish or what?

For once, Takuma actually gave the least reaction. He was neither very surprised nor shocked. Whatever way Kaname and Zero chose to express their feelings in private was their business, not his. In his experience, dominance or submission wasn't ultimately all that important, what you were sharing was what mattered. However, Takuma was also very aware what an extremely private, controlled person Kaname was. As he saw the incredibly out of place _deer in the headlights_ look flash across his friend's face and the painful color rise on the pale skin... he felt a sinking feeling inside that told him everything had pretty much just gone to hell. He had a momentary, protective surge of anger towards Zero, but it was tempered a little because he was sure Zero didn't understand what he'd done. The ex-human couldn't possibly understand how incredibly precious Kaname must hold him, to surrender himself like that. If he knew, Takuma was sure Zero would not have put the pureblood's private life or proclivities on display in such a manner, no matter how angry or hurt he was. The young aristocrat wasn't blind; he could tell Zero cared about Kaname, despite how they both acted.

To their credit, not one of the other vampires present was inclined to think less of Kaname, although they couldn't pretend what had just happened didn't affect them all on some level, some of them thinking the situation far more intolerable than others. But the pureblood's own smothering feelings of shame at being outted like this didn't leave him a very clear head by which to judge the others' reactions. In the end, maybe it wasn't really even the fear of their reactions that hurt the most. Even the thought of losing his respect and standing within his own Syndeo paled in comparison to the pain of having Zero turn on him like this, for no reason at all that he could understand. If he'd known what Zero had heard, perhaps things would have been different. But all he knew was that Zero had attacked him, _shot _him and now utterly humiliated him for no apparent reason except that he was in a mood. The hunter cared so little about him that he used something precious that Kaname had given him as a weapon. The dark, dangerous pain Kaname had been fighting with earlier flared back to life with a vengeance, threatening to drown him.

The pureblood's eyes went cold, guarded. Obviously, he had judged wrongly in letting himself be vulnerable around a potential enemy. So many wrong judgments lately... so many stupid mistakes because he was foolishly looking for someone to trust, trying to force Zero to be that person. But Zero couldn't be Yuki, could he? And Kaname was an idiot for not realizing sooner that on some level he was trying to make the hunter so, looking for a replacement for the safe spot she had always provided him. He was such a fool.

Iron doors slammed down around Kaname's reeling heart in a desperate, but far too late attempt to shield him from the hurt throbbing through him. Without conscious intention, he emotionally shut down to all feelings but hard, icy anger. Obviously, Zero didn't think he had a heart that was worth worrying about stabbing. So fine. Who cared? Maybe none of it matter and he didn't care _what _the hell Zero thought of him anymore. Why should he care? He was a pureblood, damn it, he could do whatever he wanted. Zero owed him his respect as a vampire, not to mention he was constantly frickin' trying to save the ungrateful boy's life. He was so sick of Zero making him feel guilty. It was so much easier to feel angry than to feel hurt.

Faster than Zero could react, Kaname grabbed the hunter by the throat and thrust him back against the wall again, hard enough to crack the plaster this time. His eyes were dark, dangerous, glowing with rage. Kaname felt like he was losing himself. If you snuffed out all the candles, then only darkness was left. He was born to be a creature of the night – powerful, ruthless and self-serving. He was not a mindless animal though, he had free will, he had choice, and he had always tried to choose to be better than his nature, to live by a higher law that his parents had believed in, that his heart had always believed in. But why? What good had it _ever_ done him except cause pain? If all love was removed from his life, some part of him knew the darkness would finally claim his soul. He wouldn't care anymore. He would let his vampire nature and his deep thirst for blood and vengeance rule him. Why not? There was no reason to fight for humanity when there was nothing left to care about... no one for whom he _wanted _to be a better, gentler person. Maybe that's why he'd been told once that love was a weakness, suppressing his true potential. But to unbind that potential, meant to lose his soul. Kaname was a few reluctant steps from no longer caring, and deep down, he didn't like that. Deep down he was afraid of what he knew he could become. What he was becoming.

But he was too damn hurt and angry right now to stop himself. The pain of thinking that Zero was like everyone else who wanted to use him, only to exploit any weakness they could find at the first opportunity, was too much and he lost it, unconsciously letting the dark side of his nature take over to shield him from the hurt he could not handle. The urge to hurt someone to quell his pain reared up full force once more, but this time he couldn't stop it and didn't even try. It wasn't about feeling better... it was about feeling less.

And Kaname _did_ feel less as he leaned forwards, flaming eyes angry and hard as his hand around Kiriyu's throat squeezed tight enough to cut off his air. A cold, mocking light entered those stormy eyes that was completely foreign. He drank up the expression of pain and ill-hidden panic that flashed across Zero's pale face, watching with the dark appreciation of a born predator. The hunter's fingers scrabbled at the death grip on his neck, but there was nothing he could do. Strong as he was... as strong as _Kaname _had made him, he couldn't force the pureblood to let him go, not when he was already at a disadvantage like this. They had practiced; they had sparred too many times for Kaname to not know that Zero had his own share of tricks up his sleeve though. Kaname's grip tightened in iron anger, nearly crushing the other's windpipe. Yes... the pureblood had been teaching the hunter very nicely how to find his weaknesses, how to fight him... he'd even been _proud _of him for it, how could he have been so stupid? Well Zero wasn't going to get the chance to use that against him too...

But Zero didn't try. He didn't fight this time. Instead... he simply stopped struggling, empty resignation draining the panic from his eyes as they started to glaze. Why fight when it looked like Kaname might give him what some part of him still craved? Why live anyway? There was nothing here. He was obviously fooling himself, thinking there was anything real between him and this... this _vampire_. He'd rather die than be bound. He could never live like those mindless puppets of Seiji's; it was the worst fate he could imagine. And if Kaname killed him... Zero wouldn't be responsible for whatever happened afterwards, would he? He couldn't pretend he wasn't afraid, but some part of him felt that if Kaname wanted him dead, he had no reason for living.

Zero's arms fell to his sides as his head swam. Kaname's dark gaze hesitated. He could read Zero's acceptance of his fate. But something stopped the pureblood. It wasn't even self preservation, not at first. It was something deeper than that, a strange, instinctive reaction from one who had spent too much time trying to get Zero to want to _live_. His grip loosened almost involuntarily. Even this angry... Kaname wouldn't kill the hunter. He just _couldn't_. Something... or maybe _everything _in him rebelled. His hand trembled slightly as it slid from Zero's neck to his shoulder, but the pureblood was still lost in a dark sea of anger.

Zero wanted to die, did he? But that would be the easy way out. Kaname was not in a mood to be merciful. "Let's see what you like me to do with _your _neck, Zero..." the dark, threateningly seductive hiss barely even sounded like the pureblood's voice.

Zero gasped for air, lungs heaving, his bruised throat burning as he swallowed painfully, convulsively. Kaname's harsh grip on his shoulder was the only thing holding him up, keeping him on his feet and pinned to the wall. He didn't know why Kaname had stopped, but he felt true panic twine up his spine once more and squeeze his chest like a vice grip as the pureblood yanked his head to the side and he felt hot breath on his bruised neck.

Kaname bit down ruthlessly, without warning, and Zero jerked, his head slamming back against the wall, teeth gritting in pain. Kaname had never bitten him so violently before, or in anger. Zero had not been taken that way... since Shizuka. The hunter's body shook. It was like it was happening again, only a hundred times worse... because... he cared about the person who had their fangs buried in his neck this time. He was such a freaking idiot, but he did.

Fear blazed hot and fierce through the hunter and he did struggle now, mind almost blanking with panic. For all he knew, Kaname was binding him right now, or initiating the process, and he was terrified. _Please... oh God, please Kaname... don't... please... _

Zero's fingers tore at Kaname's shoulders, ripping the seam in one of his sleeves, but the pureblood just caught his wrists, pinning them to the wall behind him. The taste of Zero's blood only put Kaname further into his dark, euphoric state. It wasn't often he lost control and vamped out like this, it was extremely rare in fact... but it was damn frightening when he did.

He drank several deep draughts of his struggling victim's blood, tasting Zero's fear in it, enjoying the raw, primal nature of the act, of the ruthlessness that he usually denied himself. He slid his teeth free, not roughly, but smoothly, licking and sucking the pale neck with dark seduction intended to wring those delightful little gasping shudders from the body pressed between him and the wall. Pulling away from Zero's neck, his bloodstained lips claimed Zero's mouth instead. Claimed what Zero had consistently refused him. A little pressure from his will and Zero's lips parted, accepting him despite the soft gasps of protest moaning so appealingly in his throat.

Zero's heart pounded out of his chest. He shook as he felt his will compromised by something other than his own desires and his body ceded to Kaname, opening for him and allowing the harsh, dominating kiss that Zero could not even bring himself to twist his head away from. Tears rolled softly, humiliatingly down his cheeks and his face burned with shame. If this was the true face of things to come, the true face of exactly what he meant to Kaname... Zero wanted to die. _Now_. Preferably before Kaname bound him completely and he no longer even had the option of _wanting _something like that anymore. But Zero couldn't move and a soft, miserable sob choked him.

He was suddenly once more aware that he and Kaname were not alone. He could feel the uncertain, uncomfortable presence of the other vampires and his whole body burned with even deeper shame and fear. Because he knew... Kaname could do whatever he damn well wanted and no one in this room would try to stop him. It wasn't their _place. _Hell, maybe they'd want a piece of the ex-human too, he'd seen it happen. Zero couldn't stop shaking. In a room full of people, he suddenly felt more alone than if he'd been by himself.

Because in every way that mattered, he _was_ alone. And he was going to end up just like those ex-humans at the Satos' party... Zero pressed his eyes shut, screwing them closed, but unable to stop the silently falling tears as Kaname's mouth moved with dark, rough seduction against his, drawing him in unwillingly, using him. Maybe this wouldn't hurt so damn much... if some part of him hadn't believed, however foolishly... that Kaname really was different. He'd started to believe the pureblood's caring act again... and that made it worse than if he'd seen this coming all along.

A tense, miserably uncomfortable silence hung over the room. The five vampire nobles present were frozen, trying to avoid looking at anything, including each other and especially including the strange and disturbing sight of the way Kaname had Zero pinned to the wall right in front of them. They didn't seem to know if they dared move or speak. Kaname's dark, swirling aura was making everyone feel sick and the mingled scents of blood now so strong in the air was stirring up their instincts, tugging at the red threads of blood lust wired into their bodies. They suppressed those urges, but it made them all edgy and uneasy.

It wasn't as if they had never seen anything like this before, of course. Purebloods were above reproach and could do _what_ they wanted to _who_ they wanted. Zero had certainly provoked the situation, had done the unforgiveable... but... the truth was, they had never seen Kaname like this and whether they'd admit it or not, they didn't like it. He was terrifying as hell itself and the anguished tears on Zero's face were surprisingly hard to take. Certainly, they were all still outraged that he had dared harm Kaname-sama like he had, and if Kaname had not intervened earlier, things would probably have gone badly. But even so, there was nothing simple about the tense emotions now swirling in the room. It _should_ have been simple. It should have been very cut and dried and they should have just wanted Kiriyu's head on a platter. He was the ex-human after all, not worthy of note, who had been stupid enough to _attack _a pureblood. But for some of them, those lines which once would have been so black and white were now shaded with uncomfortable greys. Because when it came down to it, Zero wasn't just a level D to most of them anymore. Thanks to Kaname, they had come to see Kiriyu as a _person_. Now...

Takuma shifted behind Shiki's chair, one hand resting lightly on his lover's shoulder. Shiki's body was slightly tense as he stared at his hands. The young model didn't want to watch. For him, it wasn't so much because of the current situation actually, as the memories it evoked. He'd had too many people take advantage of him simply because they had the power to do so. He had an accepting, careless attitude towards it now, but that didn't mean he cared to be reminded.

Takuma's gaze, however, remained fixed on Kaname. _Don't, Kaname... don't do this, you're going to hate yourself afterwards, I know you... _he thought sadly, silently, wanting to speak up, but the words kept sticking and dying in his throat.

If anyone other than Kaname had been involved in this little scene, Ruka would already have been out the door in a huffy show of distaste for the lack of manners on display. Instead she sat still; looking out the window, flushed and not sure if she pitied Kiriyu or _envied_ him. Ironically, she leaned towards the latter. She would have given her fangs to have Kaname want her, even if it was only in the dark, frightening way in which he was currently displaying his desire for the ex-human.

Kain's expression was closed and gave little away, managing to retain some of his usual, unreadable stoicism and making him the polar opposite of his cousin. Aido's body language was a bundle of uncertain anguish and awkwardness. He obviously wanted to be anywhere on the planet but here. The blonde's fingernails bit into the soft flesh of his palms painfully. Kain's gaze fell on his cousin and lingered there a moment, narrowing slightly as for a few, crazy heartbeats he actually thought Aido was going to do something suicidal like try to intervene.

It seemed an age but it was really only a few heartbeats before Takuma finally pressed past his hesitation. "Kaname?" he said quietly. He didn't move, but he silently begged Kaname to hear him and come back to himself. "_Kaname_..."

Kaname ignored him, in truth, he didn't really even hear him. He was too lost in his own world to be very aware of the other presences right now. His mouth moved against Zero's, smooth as silk, hard as iron and raw as fire. Aroused fangs bit and nipped, drawing blood from the kiss. Fingers dug harshly into soaked cloth and the strong, slender shoulders beneath. Kaname's need for Zero twined with his anger, twisting up into a dark knot of fiery possession. Zero was all that was in his senses – the hunter's scent, his taste, his pulse, his fear. He smelled the familiar salt of Zero's tears and opened his eyes, seeing the glistening streaks on the other's cheeks.

Silent but soul deep pain stabbed unexpectedly through Kaname's heart. Unexpected because he ought to have been too far gone to feel pain like that – but he did feel it, like a physical pain in his chest. Zero's tears did that to him. Zero had betrayed him and stabbed him in the back, and still, the hunter's anguish evoked such a deep response in him that Kaname was incapable of resisting it, even vamped out like he was.

Kaname jerked his head away with a soft inhale of breath. It was almost inhumanly hard, but it was also somehow instinctual. He growled softly at his own warring thoughts and feelings, at the confusion in his mind that was trying to tug him away from the deceptive safety of the darkness and back towards where all that pain and hurt he lived with was once more waiting for him. He released Zero, giving a small shove that sent the boy to his knees.

Zero hugged himself, shoulders hunched as he knelt in front of Kaname. His instincts screamed for him to run, but his body wasn't obeying. He tried desperately to stop the flow of humiliating tears, but he was heartily afraid of whatever Kaname intended to make him do next. He was terrified that Kaname intended to _use_ him in front of the others as a means of refuting what Zero had said before and asserting his possession. He wasn't sure he could ever live with that shame. _Please don't... please don't... _

"Apologize for speaking to me that way," Kaname growled softly, voice bitingly hard and yet dangerously silky at the same time.

Instinctively, despite how afraid he was, Zero balked. It wasn't like he had any pride left to hang onto by now, but there was a spark in him that refused to give in and capitulate. An unbearable tightness built in his chest and he felt like the air pressure around him was being compressed painfully. Kaname's will leaned very strong on him. The pureblood had never exerted power over him like this before.

"Apologize." The command was repeated flatly.

Zero fell forward, catching himself on one hand, clutching his chest with the other, his ears popping. "I'm sorry..." he rasped softly, his voice trembling despite the fact that he practically spit the words. "I apologize, all right?" he gasped through his teeth, feeling like his ear drums were going to shatter.

The pressure intensified for a horrible instant, then it suddenly eased and Zero found himself once more gasping softly for air. He looked up to find Kaname glaring coldly at him.

Kaname was not prepared for when those silver-amethyst eyes met his. He was not prepared for the intense feeling of despair that cut through his anger, shredding away the protection it gave him. _What was he doing? _And what had Kiriyu done to him, that even at his most angry... one hurt or accusing look from the hunter and Kaname felt like complete crap? Wanted to beg forgiveness...

Kaname's hands balled at his sides so they wouldn't shake. Hurt, horror, anger and pain warred inside him. This was intolerable. It was like he wasn't his own person anymore he was so bound up in Zero. It was exactly what he'd been fearing but refusing to contemplate... in some unimaginable way, on an emotional level he was practically becoming _Zero's _thrall.

"Get out!" the pureblood snapped softly through his teeth, his control slipping just enough that the rawness of the emotion inside him showed for a brief moment. "Get out!" Zero had to get away from him before Kaname either lost it again and really damaged the hunter, or broke down completely and showed how hideously desperate he was for the boy's affection.

Zero didn't need to be told a third time. He didn't know what kind of game Kaname was playing, if he really intended to let him go or if this was a trick, but at the moment it didn't matter. He desperately needed to get away. He struggled to his feet, one hand clutching at his abused neck, eyes still burning with anguish, anger and heartbreak as he turned and fairly ran out of the room, keeping his gaze on the floor to avoid having to look at any of the other vampires present who had witnessed his humiliation.

Kaname stood there; staring after him like the rest of the world didn't exist. As the red in his eyes faded and he came further back to himself, strong self loathing and guilt slowly settled in to mix with his anger. He was the worst moronic idiot in the world for so many reasons. Because he'd trusted Zero. Because he'd let him get so dangerously close. Because he'd reacted so harshly and lashed out at him so cruelly just now. And because his stupid, _stupid_ heart was crying for him to chase after the boy and beg forgiveness that he neither deserved, nor could consider bringing himself to ask for.

Slowly, Kaname became aware that the other vampires in the room were staring at him. He felt a flash of irritation mingled with shame. He was so miserably confused right now, but he couldn't show it.

Everyone but Takuma looked away immediately when the shift in his gaze indicated that he had caught them staring.

Kaname held Takuma's gaze for a moment, slowly and deliberately wiping Zero's blood from his mouth with the back of his hand. Seeing accusation in his friend's eyes, Kaname could have dealt with. No one had a right to complain about whatever he chose to do. But the pureblood was almost horrified to see something that looked like pity or compassion in the troubled green eyes instead. Sometimes Kaname's childhood friend held a mirror to his soul that he didn't want to look in. Now was one of those times.

"What?" Kaname demanded quietly, but sharply.

Takuma looked sad, but shook his head slowly. "Nothing," he said softly, holding Kaname's gaze for a few moments longer. Takuma gave Shiki's shoulder a squeeze, bidding him to come, and with more courage than many possessed, he turned away from Kaname.

Shiki somewhat hesitantly followed his lead and Takuma kept his hand on the other boy's shoulder, so there would be no doubt it was _he_, not Senri who had made the call as the two of them walked silently out of the room. Takuma did not like to see Kaname act as ruthlessly as he just had with someone who was not an enemy, mostly because he knew that Kaname _did_ actually care for the boy he'd just thrown out and it hurt him to see them both torn up like this. It hurt him, because he knew that inside Kaname would also be hurting, and the pureblood would be too proud, too stubborn and too confused to admit it. It didn't matter. Takuma would always stand by and support him. But there was simply nothing he could say to his friend right now that would not merely compound the situation or cause more hurt. Besides... he needed to try to catch up with Zero before the hunter did anything possibly rash and impulsive.

Kaname watched Takuma and Senri leave, not missing the subtle display of protectiveness Takuma showed his cousin. Obviously, his childhood friend felt he needed to shield his lover... from Kaname. The pureblood acutely felt the dull, empty gulf that had always separated him from everyone else.

"Well, what are you all sitting around for?" he said quietly but tensely to the other three present. He was not in a mood for company now and turned back to the bookshelf, although he didn't bother pretending to look for a book this time, he just didn't want to face them anymore. He wanted to run and hide somewhere and it was a hideously unusual feeling.

Ruka rose silently, she looked at Kaname's back, her face softly anguished like she'd like to say something... then she simply turned and headed for the door, arms curling around her chest. Kain followed her quickly, sliding a friendly, comforting hand to her waist. He looked over his shoulder when they reached the doorway and he realized his cousin wasn't following.

Aido was still sitting at the table with his forgotten books spread in front of him. He glanced towards the doorway as if feeling Kain's attempt to get his attention, but he merely held Kain's gaze for half a second and then looked away, attention returning to Kaname's back.

Ruka kept walking, but Kain hesitated in the doorway, frowning as he tried to decide if he should go back in and drag his cousin out with them for Aido's own safety, or follow Ruka. Usually, Kain let Aido do as he pleased, since there was no stopping him anyway. But none of them had ever seen Kaname in a mood like this, and Kain didn't want to leave them alone in the same room. He was actually afraid for his cousin if the impulsive blond kept true to form as far as getting himself into trouble went. Kaname was capable of doing a lot more than slapping Aido if he angered him right now, and despite their being not too very far apart in age, Kain had always felt a bit protective of his more flamboyant cousin. More than physical harm, Kain was afraid of what mental harm it would do to Aido if his adored Kaname-sama seriously went off on him.

Ruka stopped halfway down the hall and seemed to guess Kain's quandary. "Leave him," she said quietly, but the soft words held none of her usual polished semi-antagonism towards the more excitable of her two childhood friends. "He has to do what he thinks is right." Sometimes she thought Aido loved Kaname as much as she did... maybe more.

Kain hesitated a moment longer, but then reluctantly decided that she might be right. There would probably be no dislodging Aido short of physical force anyway. _Be careful you big idiot... _he thought with fond, if irritated concern as he finally pulled himself away from the doorway and followed Ruka away down the hall.

Heavy silence descended on the room. Without turning, Kaname was aware that Aido had not left and dark irritation chaffed in his chest. Couldn't the blonde give him five minutes of peace once in a while? Kaname didn't want to face anyone right now. His mind and heart were a confusing, painful, angry jumble and he didn't know what to think or what to feel.

_Damn it, why couldn't he seem to control himself at all where Zero was concerned?_

With a frustrated growl, Kaname gave the bookshelf in front of him a short, brutal shove. The wood splintered under his hands and the huge case skidded backwards, tipping and falling with a crash against the case behind it, which also tumbled to the floor in a thudding crash of books and shelving, smashing one of the tables behind it under its weight.

This latest disaster only served to convince him that he should have bound Zero long ago. The hunter was obviously unstable... It was the logical, practical thing to do... and yet... yet he still continued to dance around and away from the issue. He'd only wanted to know what options he might have when he'd initially asked Aido to do research for him, but now...

Kaname clenched his fists hard at his sides. Splinters from the bookshelf dug into his palms. The hunter-inflicted wound to his side slowed his healing and blood from the wood slivers puncturing his flesh squeezed between Kaname's fingers and dripped from his knuckles slowly. He knew better than to let himself bleed like this outside the safety and privacy of his rooms, but it was too late to worry about that now, wasn't it? And the truth was he barely even noticed. He welcomed the pain. It meant he could still feel something. Anything other than lost and numb.

Aido watched the pureblood silently with huge, worried eyes. Kaname's blood in the air was compelling and disturbing, but Aido had smelt it before and he refused to react more than he could help. Kaname was changing again, withdrawing, becoming frightening and cold like he had seen him do after his parents' death... and Aido didn't like it. He had never been particularly fond of Kiriyu, but he'd forced himself to give the irritating ex-human a chance for Kaname's sake, and now... now he was conflicted. Conflicted, concerned and disturbed.

Kaname had never been a typical pureblood, perhaps that was why he had such a small but intensely loyal following. Purebloods often, perhaps even usually, were cold, cruel and calculating. Kaname had sometimes been cold, usually been calculating... but very rarely was he cruel.

"If you're afraid, you should run away." The pureblood said after a moment in a calm, flat tone, not turning from where he stood, staring unreadable at the ruin of the bookshelves in front of him. He could feel the younger vampire's nervous tension behind him.

"I'm not afraid!" Aido protested immediately.

Kaname turned slowly from the bookshelf, his gaze falling coolly on the blonde. He could see Aido's shoulders tense as the pureblood's aura chilled the room another degree or two.

"No? You're shaking," Kaname murmured, his tone dipping back towards dark.

"I-it's just cold," Aido said stubbornly, trying to stop. He wasn't afraid, he _wasn't. _Okay, he was, but he didn't want to be.

Kaname fixed Aido with his dark eyes that betrayed just the very slightest hint of anguish somewhere buried in their guarded, unfathomable depths. _Only fools aren't afraid of the devil_. "You have something you want to ask me, Aido? Some burning question about the intimate details of _my life _that you feel concerns you somehow?" he demanded softly, harshly.

"N-no!" Aido shook his head quickly. "I just wonder why Kaname-sama makes his life so difficult," he blurted before really thinking about how that would sound – which wasn't at all like he had meant it. One of these days maybe he would learn to keep his mouth shut and not display his risky habit of saying whatever was going through his head. Today wasn't that day, apparently.

"Oh? And how exactly am I doing that, Aido? Do tell," Kaname's voice was deceptively quiet and conversational now.

Aido resisted the urge to bite his lip. _Shit. _Kaname was angry and he'd just focused the pureblood's attention on himself. _Brilliant move, stupid._ He'd already stuck his foot in it though, and he felt compelled to continue. He shrugged, attempting casual, but obviously tense. "I just meant... with Kiriyu..." Aido's throat was working hard, squeezing on his words as he tried to figure out how to string them together. It was very hard to think when you were in the same room with a severely disturbed pureblood whose aura was worse than a migraine.

Kaname's eyes flashed silently red and then back to brown again at the mention of Zero's name. "I should have bound him months ago, is that it?" he growled softly. Aido didn't really deserve his ire right now, but he was handy, and it was too easy to put his own swirling doubts off on the other vampire.

Aido stared at Kaname silently for a moment. Oddly... that wasn't what he thought at all. Although, a couple of months ago, he probably would have said yes.

"If you intended to make Kiriyu a slave, then yes, I suppose it would have been better to do so in the beginning." Aido swallowed, his throat feeling unaccountably dry. He couldn't believe he was actually presuming to offer any kind of judgment or supposition on what Kaname should or shouldn't do, he must be totally losing his mind, but he didn't know what else to say and he could not stay silent.

"This is _Kiriyu _we're talking about. He doesn't know how to even _imitate_ respect. If that's what you want from him..." Aido was breathing carefully, trying not to shiver at the plummeting room temperature. "But... I don't think that _is _what you want from him," he whispered.

Kaname was behind Aido. Aido hadn't seen or heard him move, but he stiffened sharply as the pureblood's hands came to rest lightly on his shoulders. Kaname bent so he could speak in Aido's ear, his long dark locks brushing Aido's golden ones in a gesture of intimacy that was somehow frightening. "You think you know what I want? You think you know how I should run my affairs, Aido?" he inquired mildly, quietly. Too quietly.

Aido swallowed, fingernails digging into the paper of the book under his hand, hairs on the back of his neck rising sharply. "No, Kaname-sama," he whispered.

"But you think I treated Kiriyu unfairly...?" Kaname's voice was still purring in Aido's ear, making it almost impossible for him to think. The long fingers on his shoulders tightened ever so slightly.

"No, Kaname-sama," Aido repeated miserably. The weight of Kaname's displeasure pressing on him was hideously uncomfortable and unsettling. He swallowed yet again. He should shut up now and just try to make nice. He should... but he never could do the smart thing. "As a pureblood, you treated him fairly."

Kaname heard the dodge in the words for what they were. "As a pureblood..." he repeated slowly. "Meaning that cruelty is to be expected of us, heartless creatures that we are, right, Aido?" there was a bitter tang in the words, but something else too... was that a hint of resigned pain?

"You're not heartless, Kaname-sama!" Aido said quickly, horrified at the implication, but this time from fear of hurting his friend, not fear _of _his friend. "I would never say such a thing!"

Kaname sighed softly, but it was a weary sound, not a menacing one. His weight shifted against Aido's shoulders. "But I am, Aido," he murmured. The threatening timbre had lapsed out of his voice, replaced by a faint, almost lost tone. "Surely, I am. One whose heart has been ripped out of their chest, is heartless, are they not?"

Kaname closed his eyes. He felt like crap. He shouldn't have done what he did to Zero. Not if he was going to end up feeling so damn guilty and horrible about it afterwards, like he was now. Zero had treated him terribly, but... he'd treated him just as terribly back. He'd hurt and scared the hunter to tears in front of the others, and there was just no way he could feel right about that.

Part of him wanted to try to make it up to Zero... but maybe he never could, and the hunter probably wouldn't let him anyway. Despair tugged raggedly at the pit of the pureblood's stomach. He was trapped in a helpless deadlock and every move open to him simply seemed to take him deeper into checkmate. He couldn't ignore Zero, he couldn't pretend he didn't exist and wasn't impacting his life every single moment of every day. He'd thought they could find some kind of balance in giving and receiving blood and pleasure as simple matters of need and convenience, but that was failing miserably too. He'd foolishly thought there might be some in between measure, where he could influence Zero without entirely changing him, but from what Aido had found, there wasn't. After this last little explosion... Kaname knew he couldn't stall any longer, he had to make up his mind. Either he wanted Zero as an equal, as a friend and a lover, or he wanted him as a slave and a thrall. He couldn't have it both ways. Even _Aido _could see that, which galled him. Unfortunately... the first seemed impossible given how Zero felt about him and yet despite all the well meaning logic he could conjure up on the subject, he couldn't bring himself to default to the latter.

That was stupid on his part and he knew it. If he had any sense of self preservation, he should do it. Practicality said that binding Zero would solve his problems. Zero was a loose cannon to which Kaname's wellbeing and sanity was irrevocably tied. If the pureblood made him a thrall, the hunter would be manageable, Kaname could keep him safe and happy, could keep the ex-human with him always and hold him dear without all the fighting and confusion... Kaname would be a good master, he'd never hurt Zero; never humiliate him or treat him like a slave, never let anyone else touch him... he'd treat him like the treasure he was...

But Zero wouldn't be free. He wouldn't even be himself anymore. He wouldn't be with Kaname because he _wanted_ to be, but because he had no choice, nor the ability to make his own choices. His will would be Kaname's and he would live and breathe just to please the pureblood. That should be an appealing thought, shouldn't it? But it wasn't. No... instead, it filled him with horror and loathing. It hurt unimaginably.

"Kaname," Aido said softly, his hand tentatively sliding up to rest over one of the pureblood's hands. Kaname's grip on his shoulders was so tight now it was almost painful, but somehow Aido knew it wasn't out of anger anymore. Deep down, Kaname was hurting. Aido could remember how things had been before after Cross's funeral and before Yuki's death – the meaningful, embarrassed smiles between Kaname and Kiriyu when they thought no one was looking, the way Kaname's scent was almost always all over the hunter. It had wildly disturbed Aido at the time, and he had resented Kiriyu deeply, but now... he wished so much they could go back to that, for Kaname's sake... and maybe for Zero's sake too.

"Kaname, don't do this to yourself," Aido whispered quietly. "If you want to break him, then... do it quickly, for both your sakes. Bind him, and have done. Prolonging his suffering only makes you both miserable. But be sure that's what you _really_ want." _Make sure... or you'll regret it the rest of your life. _

If once Kaname broke Zero and bound him to his will, there was no turning back. You could unbind a slave, but you could never again give them back the individuality, memories and soul that had been stripped from them in the binding process. Aido was more aware of all that than ever after the research he'd done. It wasn't his place to question Kaname, but at the same time, he didn't want to believe that that was really what the pureblood wanted to do.

Kaname snorted softly. _Aido_ was offering him advice. He should have been offended, but what was more pathetic was that the blond was actually right for once. Kaname needed to honestly ask himself: did he truly want to see the fire drained out of Zero's silver eyes? Did he _really_ want to never have another argument with him? Did he truly desire nothing but a willing body to sate his needs? A pretty puppet with an empty smile? Another person who would simply comply and acquiesce with anything and everything he said and did? Because that's all that would be left of Zero Kiriyu if he chose to take him as a thrall.

_**No! **_The rejection screamed through him from the very depths of his soul. _No, that wasn't what he wanted at all. _

The mere thought sent a shudder of horrified disgust through Kaname. How could he have even let the possibility cross his mind? _No..._ of _course _that wasn't what he wanted. He could never stand to see Zero like that, it would kill him. There had to be other ways to assure the hunter's safety and his own. He could tell himself that it would make Zero happier all he wanted, but deep down, he knew that was nothing but a pretty lie. He could never be that utterly cruel to the naturally strong-willed boy. Besides, when it came down to it, the act itself would destroy almost everything that attracted him to Zero. Of _course_ he adored Zero's body, but without the boy's spark, his spunk, his spirit... yes, even that damn irritating attitude... it would almost be worse than having him dead.

Kaname didn't want Zero as a slave. He just... he didn't know _what_ to do anymore.

He pulled away from Aido, crossing over to the window and staring out at the grey rain pelting the glass. Dawn was struggling to break somewhere buried behind the clouds and the rain, but it seemed to be fighting a losing battle. He knew the feeling.

_I don't know what to do. Please, someone... tell me what the _hell _I'm supposed to do now? How do I live with these... these __**feelings**__ inside me? How can I survive when the only person whose affection I want, hates me? With good reason..._

"I don't want to make him my slave, but I... fear I'm becoming his," Kaname whispered, barely audible above the sound of the rain striking the window pane.


	18. Two Broken Hearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _A/N: Well, things keep going from bad to worse, but I think there's a turning point just around the corner... ;) Special thanks to YenGirl for inspiring me with the notion regarding the blood sharing instance and Zero's response... :D_

**Chapter Eighteen: "Two Broken Hearts" **

Thunder rumbled through the swollen clouds and lightening flashed somewhere in the distance. Rain pelted against Zero, streaming down his body and washing the blood from his injured neck. Those wounds were already healing... unlike the ones in his heart. He blinked rapidly, pretending it was the rain that stung his eyes as he repeatedly wiped his mouth on the back of his hand. It didn't help. He could still feel Kaname on his skin, smell him on his clothing... The hunter splashed heedlessly through several ankle-deep puddles. It didn't matter where he was going; it just had to be away – away from this place, away from _him_. His mind was spinning, his emotions reeling and at first he barely even noticed the growing, physical pain inside him.

He made it as far as the outer class building before it hit in earnest.

Zero's pace faltered and he stumbled, catching himself against the slick, cold, wet wall of the brick building beside him as a far too familiar burning sensation clamped around his chest like a vice-grip. Zero squeezed his eyes shut, balling his fist against the wall and feeling the rough brick press into the side of his palm. _No... no! Not this... not __**now...**_

He knew this feeling. It had been a while, but it was an old, familiar enemy he was not likely to forget. The hot, desperate ache like he'd walked a thousand days in the desert without water. The tremble that was taking over his limbs, the intense, bone-deep, mind-shredding craving that made his lengthening fangs throb and his head spin...

Zero swallowed raggedly, gasping for breath between his teeth, one hand fumbling to his chest. His fangs pressed against the inside of his lower lip, and he knew that if he looked in a mirror, his eyes would be tortured with red. After all, that was what blood lust did to him, and he'd felt it far too many times to not know exactly what it was. _Damn... _it had been a while since he'd fed, and Kaname had apparently drained him more than he could afford in those few, horrible moments back in the library. His disturbed mental state and overwrought emotions were probably factors as well.

Zero felt a surge of despair. Was this why Kaname had let him go? Because he knew he was in no condition to get far before hunger started crippling him? Was the damn pureblood just waiting for him to come crawling back again for his next fix? _Well he could just go to hell!_ Zero pressed his eyes closed, trying to will the pain away. He'd never go back to that man. Never. He would die first.

"Kiriyu!"

Zero tensed at the hard, semi-familiar voice. He heard footsteps sloshing towards him. _Crap... _It was one of the school guardians, a younger boy named Toshi. Toshi was a hunter; he could doubtless feel Zero's agitated blood lust rolling off him in alarming waves.

"Kiriyu, the sun is coming up; you should not be out here. Go back where you belong, _now,_" Toshi demanded tensely as he came to a stop nearby, but not _too _near. Water pinged off the hooded rain slicker he was wearing.

_Where I belong... that's pretty much nowhere, isn't it? _Zero thought bitterly, but he didn't trust himself to speak at the moment. The ex-human was suddenly finding himself keenly aware of the younger hunter's scent, of the sound of the blood pulsing through his veins which now seemed even louder than the pounding rain... blood... so near... blood...

Toshi bristled and unwisely took a step forward when it looked like Zero was ignoring him. "Hey, you, vampire. I'm talking to..."

"Don't..." Zero warned softly but harshly through his teeth, his eyes finally opening, glowing with unholy red light in the early morning gloom as they fixed on the younger boy. "Don't come any closer." _Damn it, you're a hunter, hasn't your Sensei taught you any common sense? _

Toshi took a step back at the sight of Zero's eyes, his hand immediately sliding into the front of his rain slicker. Zero watched, unblinking, unconsciously judging how fast he would have to move to close the distance between them before the other boy could draw his weapon, finding himself helplessly sliding into the mindset of the predator he did not want to be. _Shoot me. Shoot me, damn it... _that would solve all his problems...

"That won't be necessary," another familiar voice intervened, almost pleasantly.

Zero grimaced. _Oh. Great..._

Toshi frowned deeply as he suddenly found himself confronting not one vampire, but three. Takuma Ichijo and Senri Shiki had appeared from just about nowhere. Their white uniforms were quickly turning a darker shade from the rain. Shiki merely hung back, out of the way, but the Night Class Vice President was now standing between Toshi and Zero, giving the guardian a friendly, dismissive smile. "Hello, Toshi. We'll take it from here."

The young hunter looked doubtful. "You shouldn't be out here either, and Kiriyu..."

"...will be just fine," Takuma interrupted, a slightly uncharacteristic note of iron filtering in under his amiable tone. "We'll take care of him, why don't you finish your rounds? I'm sure Hana must be wondering where you are. You shouldn't leave your partner alone like that. We'll be gone by the time you come back."

Toshi hesitated distrustfully for a long moment before finally giving a terse nod and continuing on his way.

Takuma turned back towards Zero with a small, wry smile once the other hunter was out of earshot. "Hm, that was easier than I expected. I could wonder about the grade of hunters these days. _You _would never have turned your back on us that easily," he commented.

Zero looked at the noble incredulously, his gaze still desperately tinged with red. On one hand, Zero was glad the other vampire had intervened before the temptation to jump Toshi became too great, but on the other he was not at all pleased to see someone he assumed had come to be his jailer.

"I'm not going back," he growled, voice rasping a little. He couldn't look Takuma in the eye. Not after what Kaname had done to him. Zero straightened up as much as he could, although unable to pull away from the wall, or quell the fierce pangs of hunger in his chest. "So you can just forget it. I'm not going back to that _bastard._"

Takuma's smile faded into a concerned, sad look. "Zero... I know you're upset, but try not to judge Kaname too harshly," he said softly. "He obviously cares about you a great deal."

Zero gave a bitter, miserable snort. "Oh. Right. _Obviously_," he bit out darkly. "Don't give me that crap. All he _cares _about is the fact that my life is tied to his because of a _stupid _mistake we both made in the past! Don't you get it? The only reason he's acted nice to me was because he didn't want me to try to _kill_ myself until he figured out how to... to..." The hunter inhaled sharply, pain spearing through his chest, making his head spin. _Oh God... _it had been a while since he'd felt like this, it was too easy to forget how bad it a soft, desperate groan, Zero sank further down the wall, all his energy going to trying to keep himself from attacking Ichijo or Shiki. His hand uncurled against the wall, fingertips digging urgently into the brick.

Blood lust was bad for any vampire, but for him it would always be worse, because of what he was. Anything beyond mild hunger for an ex-human was always stark, painful and overwhelming. Zero was not yet too terribly far removed from the near Level E vampire he had been the previous year. He was stable as long as he was sated, as long as he could continue to drink Kaname's pure blood whenever he needed it and reap the benefit of the strength stored in the blood seal behind his ear. But when that balance was thrown off... he had no reserves. Perhaps with time, that would change and he would become more resistant to the onset of this rapid and ruthless craving, but right now, with his emotional state in turmoil and his resistance weakened, it was like the scale swung right back to where he had been before he'd bonded with Kaname... and the hunger was unbearable.

He wanted blood. He wanted _Kaname's _blood. He craved that incredible, unique flavor and the delicious euphoria it brought with it. He was quite literally addicted to it. His body remembered how it felt and it wanted it so bad... making Zero hate himself and Kaname even deeper. Zero realized he was shaking. He couldn't stop. The rain was freezing but his skin was burning with feverish need. He knelt on the sodden grass, leaning against the wall, doubled over in agony.

Takuma laid a warm, gentle hand on his shoulder, bending over Zero a bit and shielding him from some of the falling rain with his body. "That's not true, Zero. Kaname was upset just now, but that doesn't mean that he..."

"Why are you trying to be nice to me?" Zero interrupted, gritted it out between his teeth with a dark scowl. "If Kaname sent you to make sure his troublesome little _pet_ doesn't do something inconvenient, you _both _can just go to hell," he growled. "Leave me alone!"

Takuma did not pull away, and Zero was struggling too hard with himself to push him away. "Kaname is like a brother to me," the noble said quietly. "But I'm not here because of him. I'm here because I was worried about _you_."

Zero turned his head slightly, looking up at Takuma with weary, hopeless eyes full of so much hurt that it showed even through the red haze of blood lust. Part of him wanted to believe that, but he couldn't. He couldn't believe that anyone could or did actually care about him.

Takuma felt a soft shock of pain thread through his heart. Zero's eyes were the eyes of one who nothing left to lose, or to live for. He had no family, no friends. He was a vampire to other hunters and an ex-human hunter to other vampires. He'd never been social with any of the other young people at the Academy and even those he'd known in passing amongst the Day Class when he was a student were all graduated and gone now. Zero was utterly alone in a way that Takuma wondered if anyone, even Kaname _truly_ understood. Takuma was drawn to that loneliness, was drawn to want to protect those whom fate had abused and treated so badly. He ached to ease the hunter's pain. Maybe there wasn't much he could do emotionally, but at least physically perhaps...

Takuma started undoing the silver, rose-shaped buttons on the cuff of his uniform jacket, followed quickly by the smaller buttons on the black shirt he wore underneath. "I know you feel alone, Zero, but you're not," the sandy haired vampire said quietly. "You may not want the friendship of a vampire, but you have it anyway, and I'm not the only one who feels that way. Aido was actually _waiting _for you in the library today you know. I'm sure he'll hate me for saying it, but it's true. He wouldn't let anyone else sit at his table because he was hoping you'd come. You're one of us, Zero. I fear you'll only think that's an insult, but... maybe if you didn't push people away so hard, you'd see, not all of them are against you." _Not anymore, anyway. _

Zero stared at Takuma in mild, bewildered shock. Obviously, that wasn't what he had expected to hear. He looked too lost and confused to even offer any attitude or comeback to the noble's words. Those strange, unexpected words that did equally unexpected things to Zero's heart. It... it couldn't be true, of course, but... he didn't know why Takuma would say something like that if it wasn't. His eyes stung and his heart burned.

If Takuma had had any doubts he was doing the right thing, they were quelled by that look on Zero's face. It was bittersweet, Takuma supposed, that the only reason any of them had given Zero half a chance was because of Kaname. Now, that same relationship was making him feel torn between loyalty to Kaname, and doing what he knew was the right thing by Zero. Yet, in the end, there wasn't really a conflict, was there? Because deep down in his heart... Takuma _knew _that Kaname loved Zero. So really... the pureblood would _want _him to take care of his lover... if he were thinking straight anyway, right? Perhaps it was a convenient rationalization, but Takuma chose to accept it.

He pushed his sleeve up to his elbow and held his pale forearm out to Zero as he crouched beside him, touching his wrist lightly against the ex-human's wet lips in invitation.

Zero started at the warm, inviting feeling of flesh against his mouth, at the entirely unexpected gift being offered. He could feel the blood pulsing in the noble's veins... and a hard shudder ran through his body. The hunter pressed his eyes closed and clenched his teeth. _No... he couldn't... he wouldn't... _but he could feel his resolve slipping dangerously even as he tried to resist.

"Come on, Zero..." Takuma murmured. "You're not going to be going anywhere in your condition. I know you don't want to be a danger to the other students."

Zero's eyes blinked open, his chest heaved, his breathing ragged and desperate. He was fighting with strength unheard of for one of his classification, but hopeless craving was written all over his face. "Kaname's not going to like this," he gritted out harshly through his teeth, not that _he _cared at the moment, but as a last attempt to push away the temptation Takuma was holding before him.

Takuma did not remove his arm. "Maybe," he whispered. "But I think he would like it less if he knew I let you suffer when there was something I could do about it." The noble ran his nails across his wrist, bringing blood welling to the fore. It mingled quickly with the rain, dripping crimson along his forearm... wetting Zero's lips.

The red in the ex-human's eyes intensified and Zero groaned softly, deeply, as the blood hit his senses. He couldn't fight it... and there was almost no reason he should, anyway. Maybe he was an idiot, but Takuma really seemed to have no ulterior motive for offering this to him. Zero didn't know how to understand or deal with that, but at the moment... it didn't matter.

The ex-human's shaking hands grabbed Takuma's elbow and his hand, holding him still as his aching fangs sank swiftly into the smooth, tender flesh on the inside of the other vampire's wrist. He found the veins easily and immediately started to draw – the warm, unfamiliar but decidedly delicious blood flooding into him in a soothing rush. It was good. Takuma was a very high level vampire and his blood was sweet and strong. It sated the need in Zero like human blood could not. The horrible tightness in his chest started to ease blessedly and melt away. Zero drank deeply and refused to acknowledge the fact that as good as it was... it still wasn't Kaname's blood.

Takuma kept his hand on Zero's shoulder, both a comforting gesture and to steady himself as Zero drew rapidly from his other wrist. It wasn't the first time he had offered himself to help someone else who needed it. He'd given blood to Aido a year ago when the blond had been critically injured by Takuma's family guards. But no one else had had a claim on him then... Takuma's gaze slid up towards Shiki who was standing still and silent a few feet away, watching them. Quietly, his gentle green eyes begged permission, or at least forgiveness from his lover. _Please understand, Senri, this doesn't have anything to do with us... _

Shiki gave his head a quick shake, a small smile quirking his lips that put Takuma's mind at ease. He couldn't pretend he liked the idea of Takuma letting someone else drink from him. It was a little disturbing to see Kiriyu clutching Takuma's wrist like that, crimson stained rain water running down his chin and dripping from Takuma's elbow. Shiki had come to feel incredibly possessive of his gentle lover in some ways, but this was hardly an intimate act and anyway, he had no right to stop Takuma. For one thing, Shiki had never taken a very restrictive view on blood pleasure and he couldn't count how many people he'd shared with in the past, and for another... this was who Takuma _was_. It was his nature to care for and nurture strays, like the scent-blind rabbit that shared their dorm room with them... and like Senri himself. Shiki would not have changed him if he could.

"Kaname _does_ care about you, Zero," Takuma repeated softly as the ex-human drank. "If he didn't, why would he be bending over backwards to try to make the vampire world accept you? Why is it that the only time he looks happy is when he's with you? I know he's a hard man to read sometimes, but trust me, if he did not care about you there is no way in _hell _he would have ever let you... take him," Takuma said quietly, failing to find a more delicate way to put it.

Some small, stupid part of Zero wanted to believe... but he knew better. He closed his eyes, letting the sound of the rushing blood fill his ears instead, trying to blank out the pain inside him that had nothing to do with hunger.

\--------------------------------------

Kaname stared blankly out the window. He didn't know if Aido had heard what he'd just said, he hoped not, but maybe it didn't matter. He felt so lost. He could still feel Zero's anger and misery throbbing through their bond, adding to his own. He couldn't shut it off. Couldn't cut the hunter out of his life, his heart or his soul. He really was lost, wasn't he? There was no help for it and no hope. His life was seriously fucked up beyond repair.

Suddenly he winced softly, grabbing the side of his neck as he felt a hard, sharp echo of hunger stab through him. It wasn't his. _Oh crap. _Kaname frowned. When had Zero fed last? It had been several days, hadn't it? The imprint of Zero's blood was still fresh in his senses... how much had he taken? He didn't even know, he'd been so out of it. Must have been more than a little, because the wound to his side had faded to a dull throb, despite its anti-vampire nature. A sharp stab of self-anger and intense worry spiked through the pureblood. _He had to go to him, he had to..._

Kaname's lips thinned as he caught hold of his sudden, spinning surge of anxiety and concern. This was just great, wasn't it? Zero came in here, started a fight with him, shot him, humiliated him... and now Kaname was panicking because he was afraid the hunter was going to be _hungry_?

_Fine. _Maybe it would do Zero some good to remember what it was that Kaname had saved him from. Maybe the boy would stop acting like the pureblood was ruining his life by trying to save him, by wanting him to be happy... Kaname balled his fists at his sides. All very nice logic, but his heart hated it. He didn't want Zero to suffer. He was torturing himself enough, seeing over and over the tears and the pain on his lover's face a few minutes ago, knowing he'd put it there...

The aching need to go find Zero was building, too strong to ignore. He could pretend it was something instinctual... but deep down, he knew it was his stupid heart not letting him stay put. Kaname turned away from the window and stalked towards the front of the library. He paused for half a moment by where Aido was still sitting, watching him wordlessly. He lightly, gently touched the blonde's shoulder. Then he was gone.

\--------------------------------------

Shiki shifted, uncomfortable but silent in the rain as he stood guard while Takuma let Kiriyu take his fill. He was not fond of being wet and cold, and the scent of Takuma's blood was stirring him up, but he resolutely remained quiet and unobtrusive, simply guarding them and watching carefully just to make sure the hunter didn't try to take more than his lover wanted to give.

Suddenly the young model's spine stiffened as a familiar presence registered in his senses and he spun around to find Kaname standing several paces behind him, staring with a shocked expression at the unexpected sight of Zero feeding from Takuma's wrist.

Shock was quickly darkening into hurt, jealous anger on the pureblood's smooth features and Shiki felt his heart sink to his toes. _Oh. Crap. Takuma, I really hope you know what you're doing. _

Of all the things Kaname might have expected to find, this was not one of them. Dark, possessive pain and rage tugged fiercely at his chest as he saw Zero's lips moving against someone else's skin. Saw his fangs claiming someone else's flesh. Saw the unmistakable cast of blood ecstasy on his face while drinking from another's body. He would have been only slightly more shocked if he'd found Zero making out with someone. The fact that it was _Takuma _of all people... the pain of double betrayal was sharp and intense.

"What do you think you're _doing_?" the pureblood demanded quietly, coldly, harshly. Nothing in his world made sense anymore. Nothing.

Takuma's shoulders stiffened and Zero's mouth froze momentarily against his bleeding wrist. A small, vindictive part of the hunter wanted to keep drinking and intentionally ignore Kaname, wanted to spite the pureblood by showing that he enjoyed being with someone else. After all, how much longer was he going to be able to do anything he wanted to do, and not just what Kaname wanted? But Zero _wasn't_ enjoying himself, not... not like _that. _He couldn't bring himself do it, for Takuma's sake if nothing else. The other vampire had been good to him. He'd offered help without strings and had not yanked his arm away the moment Kaname showed up either, which said something about his sincerity. It wouldn't be fair of Zero to get him further into trouble.

Zero slowly slid his fangs free, but didn't immediately raise his head. He deliberately cleaned the blood from Takuma's wrist and licked the twin puncture marks closed. _Then _he finally raised his head, dark eyes shot with cold anger now instead of blood lust as he stood and slowly wiped the blood from his mouth, his stormy gaze meeting and holding Kaname's.

Shiki edged protectively closer to Takuma, wishing he had the will and the courage to step in front of him. His heart was thudding wildly.

Takuma straightened up slowly after Zero released his wrist, his gaze also turning to lock with Kaname's. "I made him drink," the noble said quietly, simply, weathering the furious look in the pureblood's eyes without flinching, although his own gaze was sad. "He didn't want to. He had no choice." Takuma didn't want any more wedges between these two, that was the last thing he would have intended. It hurt him to the core of his being to see betrayal in Kaname's eyes, directed at him, but they would have to work that out in their own way. Takuma would never willingly harm his friend, and he believed that eventually Kaname would realize that.

Zero's gaze darted momentarily to Takuma in shock as he realized the noble was defending him by taking the blame on himself. He... appreciated that. But he wasn't about to let it happen. "Like hell he did," Zero refused to hand off responsibility, even though in actuality Takuma had put him in a situation where he really couldn't have said no. "If I didn't have a choice, it's because _you _didn't leave me one," the hunter accused darkly, fixing Kaname with a penetrating glare.

Kaname's fists clenched silently at his sides and the already dismally dim morning seemed to darken a little deeper, but he was not going to let himself lose control again, he was _not. _He'd already walked too close to the edge... a few more steps and who knew what would be left when next he came back to himself?

"I was looking for you," the coldness in his low voice unsuccessfully masking his hurt and anger. "I wasn't going to leave you hungry. Have I _ever_ denied you my blood, Zero?" There was a faintly plaintive note to his last words. How many people would _kill_ to have unlimited access to his blood like this...? But Zero didn't care. Like before, after Yuki's death... he simply ran away and went to someone else, like... like Kaname just wasn't _good enough _for him.

Zero choked on the lump in his throat and turned it into an angry snort of derision instead. "Sure, _for a price._"His voice rasped slightly with pain he couldn't completely hide under his anger. He had no more pieces of his soul to sell; the pureblood was already holding them all. All that was left was to lose everything. "I would rather _die _then take blood from you again!" the ex-human spat darkly.

Kaname stared at Zero in wounded, uncomprehending shock and pain. What was Zero saying? Okay, Zero had acted irrationally and Kaname had severely overreacted in response, but... they could get past this, couldn't they? He moved closer, trying hard to swallow his pain and pride and figure out how to try to halt the way things were unraveling before it got any worse. He reached out to touch Zero's arm. "Zero..."

"Don't touch me!" Zero growled, jerking like he'd been touched by something disgusting and half stumbling, half darting quickly backwards, keeping a good swath of distance between himself and the pureblood. He was furious... but it wasn't anger that was strongest in those stormy silver eyes. It was fear. Kaname could see it, could feel it echoing wildly through their bond... Zero was afraid of him. No... he was _terrified. _

Something inside the pureblood felt like it was dying. Since he was a child, he had hated that look on the faces of those he wanted to care for, but nature had made him too much of a monster to deserve anything else. To see it now, so clearly, in _those _eyes... it hurt badly enough that Kaname actually didn't move, didn't try to approach Zero again as the hunter continued backing away, obviously now about to bolt.

"Zero..." he whispered softly, hoarsely, not even able to care how broken it sounded.

Zero just shook his head, his entire body tense as if he expected to be attacked at any moment, which, in point of fact, he did. "Stay away from me..." he demanded again, his voice rasping slightly this time, trembling with an indecipherable mix of pain, fear and rage. "All you've ever done is lie to me! I hate you! I never want to touch you again; I never want to _see _you again!"

The rain hid Zero's blinding tears, hid the fact that his heart was shattered into too many irreparable pieces to ever imagine being whole again. "The only thing I'm glad of, is that Yuki is safely out of your reach and that she never had to see what you really are..." his voice cracked, broke, throat too tight to continue, almost too tight to breathe. It was a cruel thing to say, but he didn't say it to be cruel, it was the truth of what he felt and he had to try to take some solace somewhere. Yuki had loved so innocently and he _was _glad that if Kaname was going to betray someone, it had been him and not her. The next moment, Zero was gone, disappeared with vampire speed into the dark, dripping woods surrounding the Academy.

Kaname stood still, rain soaking his clothing and plastering his hair to his face. He did not move or speak as Zero disappeared. He would have chased him, wouldn't have let him run off in this state... but Zero had chosen his parting shot too well and the sudden, breathtaking pain tearing Kaname apart inside held him frozen too long to make pursuit practical.

No one was supposed to see a pureblood cry, and he was not alone... but as it had for Zero, the sluicing rain hid his weakness... and his tears.

Shiki tensed as if unsure what they should do, but Takuma gave a small shake of his head, indicating that he intended to let Zero go. The hunter was too frightened; too angry... he needed time to himself. Besides, he and Kaname continuing to occupy the same space would obviously only make things worse right now. Takuma was troubled actually, by how frightened Zero seemed. Kaname had certainly been harsh with him in the library, but Zero _had _attacked him first. There was something else going on, something else Zero was afraid of, but he didn't know what.

The two nobles watched Kaname silently for a moment. Takuma's emerald gaze was heavy with pain and compassion. He'd never seen Kaname looking this desolate before. He rubbed his wrist lightly, already almost healed from Zero's bite. He supposed Kaname had a right to be furious with him for what he'd done, and would accept punishment if it was forthcoming, but he wasn't afraid. He and Kaname had too much history for there to be fear between them. He rolled his sleeve back down and re-did the buttons.

"I'm sorry, Kaname," he said softly after a moment. "I swear, I only wanted to help, and it was only blood," he promised quietly, not sure if it made a difference or not at this point. "He was hurting so badly and so alone... I didn't think you'd want him to suffer like that. But I'm sorry; I should have waited for you." _Only I didn't know you were going to come..._

Kaname did not reply for several long moments, still staring desolately into the distance. His jealousy had bled away into the aching, intense emptiness of his soul and he didn't feel like he even possessed enough strength to be angry now. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered.

"No," he said quietly at last, finally breaking the silence. "You did the right thing. I don't think... he would have taken my blood anyway." The soft whisper was almost lost under the rain and wind. He knew Takuma had meant no harm, and after all, Shiki had been standing _right there. _He... he _didn't _want Zero in pain and if the boy was going to run off, at least he didn't have to worry about him losing it and attacking someone. Kaname's rational mind continued trying vainly to work, but his heart wasn't in it. All he felt was empty, like he'd just lost the only warmth left in his increasingly darkening world. Maybe the truth was... he had.

Without another word, Kaname turned away and started walking back towards the Moon Dorms through the rain.

Takuma felt tears stinging his eyes and burning in his heart for these two good, caring, stubborn, prideful people who seemed incapable of understanding one another's feelings and somehow ended up causing each other so much pain. "He cares about you, Kaname. He cares so much it scares him and he has to push you away..." Takuma called softly after his friend. _Just like you do, too. _

Shiki wrapped his arms around Takuma's waist from behind, hugging him close and nuzzling his face comfortingly against the side of his lover's neck.

Kaname paused for a moment, then continued walking, disappearing into the grey rain.

\--------------------------------------

The sun had fully risen now, but it was so overcast that it didn't even bother the lone vampire who stood at the edge of the rain-swollen, roiling river. Zero had covered a fair amount of distance on foot in a short time, running until he couldn't run anymore, walking, running some more... It didn't matter where. He had no destination, no purpose... just like his life. He'd stayed well to the north of the nearby city, but he could see its lights in the distance.

He'd left his jacket in the woods somewhere along the way. Even drenched in rain, it smelled like his own blood and like... Kaname. He couldn't stand it anymore and had torn it off. But that didn't stop him from thinking about the pureblood. Maybe he'd unconsciously wanted to outrun his pain, but he'd just taken it with him.

The river blocked his path now and gave him pause. The constant weeks of rain had made it swell until the once moderate stream was now a wide, churning flow of white water that even he wasn't about to try to swim across. The river was set into a fairly deep depression here, the bank on this side sloping steeply down towards it. Normally it was slow enough to ford, but not so now. It had risen nearly halfway up the side of the steep embankment and the water looked almost hungry as it swirled and churned below. Slanting willow trees on the less steep, opposite bank were standing in water partway up their trunks, their trailing branches dancing and whipping about in the water as if the river was trying to devour them.

Numbly, Zero stared down into the white, frothing flow from the gravely lip of the embankment above. He wasn't going to be able to cross here, water like that could sweep away the strongest swimmer, maybe even drown a vampire.

_Maybe... drown a vampire. _

Behind him, through the dripping trees, he heard the soft growl of cars rumbling by on the nearby road – people evacuating the low-lying areas perhaps, or heading to shore up the levies... or just going about their daily lives, because they _had _lives to go about. Zero's gaze remained fixed on the roaring water. Maybe he had intentionally ended up here, or somewhere like here. There was something... alluring, about the water. The river was rushing, disturbed, angry... like his heart.

It felt in some despairing way as if he'd come full circle, to where he'd been the night he'd tried to end it all before. Only his despair had been leaden and placid then, like the lake. Now... like the river... it was roiling and gushing... like an artery, bleeding out everything that was left inside him. Were it not for Kaname's intervention, he would have already found his peace in a watery grave. Now, Zero found himself desolately wishing that he had. When he'd tried to kill himself before, he'd thought he couldn't possibly hurt worse than he was at that time.

He'd been wrong. The pain was so much worse now, because he'd so foolishly let Kaname even deeper into his life and his heart... because he'd dared to actually start living again... only to find that he'd built on a foundation that was no more secure than the slick, shifting gravel under his feet his feet now, eroding away beneath him before he even realized what was happening, ready to plunge him into the churning abyss below at the slightest wrong move.

He was trapped, pure and simple.

Zero wasn't stupid, he didn't suppose he could run from Kaname forever. Even if he made a better attempt than the clumsy one he'd made thus far... it would only be a matter of time. The pureblood was too powerful, had too many resources, and even their bond would give him away if they were in close enough proximity. And Kaname _would _come after him, of course. Whatever game he was playing, Zero knew he couldn't afford to let him run around free indefinitely, not when Kaname had as much as admitted to him that their lives were literally tied together.

Bitterly, he supposed he should understand why Kaname wanted to bind him. His very existence was dangerous to the pureblood. Or rather, his lack of existence would be. Zero could still clearly remember the way Kaname had all but fallen apart after the severing of his bond with Asato Ichijo...

The hunter screwed his eyes shut. _No. No... don't remember that... or what followed after..._

He swallowed the lump in his throat. He was the biggest idiot on the planet, because... it still _hurt _to think of how desperately lost Kaname had been. Why on earth should he hurt for _him? _The bastard wanted to _bind _him. Wanted to make him a freaking living doll! Zero tried to hold onto his anger, but somehow... the desolation and despair was simply greater.

He couldn't escape his heart, and he couldn't escape reality. Reality was, without Kaname's blood, Zero would probably have a few months, tops, before he started sliding back to a Level E again. Maybe a year if he was lucky, but he doubted it. Reality was, when the cravings got bad enough, and no other blood would do for him what pure blood would... he didn't know if he would have the strength to not give up and go back, despite the cost. Reality was, no matter where he ran, even if he could fight his own cravings and hang onto his sanity... eventually, Kaname would find him and finish what he'd started. Morosely, Zero wondered if the pureblood would make him suffer first, or if he'd just get it over with. Despite what had just happened between them, Zero had to admit that in the past, Kaname had never shown a pronounced proclivity towards cruelty, so maybe he'd make it quick.

The hunter slowly opened his eyes again, once more gazing into the rushing water. Much as he hated Kaname right now... he couldn't help wondering if somewhere inside, the pureblood had the twisted idea that this would be for Zero's own good. The night of the party, Kaname had said that the bound ex-humans were happy with their fate... just thinking of that still sent horrified shivers up and down Zero's spine, but he couldn't help wondering if maybe, just maybe... that's what Kaname was thinking now. That somehow, the ends justified the means if Zero was okay with it _after _the fact.

He sighed, bending and picking up a stone from the loose gravel at his feet. He turned it over in his fingers before winging it harshly into the river. Maybe he was just lying to himself because he wanted to believe that on some level, Kaname cared about him, no matter messed up it was. Takuma thought he did... and Takuma's words and actions had shown enough sincerity to Zero that he couldn't help at least considering them.

Zero bit his lip. Maybe... maybe if he could convince Kaname that he didn't _have _to bind him... maybe... if Kaname cared anything at all... maybe he would reconsider...

He chucked another rock violently down into the water. He couldn't believe he was even considering it, trying to... to _appease _Kaname in some manner in order to hang onto his freedom. Probably wouldn't work anyway, and how could he live with himself even if it did?

Yet, what alternatives did he have? Zero fell still, staring into the strangely mesmerizing flow below him.

He had only one alternative. And that was to be dead before Kaname could find him. A few steps, that's all it would take. He could jump off the edge and just let the river take him. He wouldn't even have to jump, a few more steps down the steep, slick slope and the wet gravel and earth would probably crumble under his weight and carry him down with it. It would not be a pleasant way to die... he remembered the pain of the last time he'd tried drowning, and he wasn't that weakened this time. It might take a while... but it was better than the alternative. And with the water this rough, this fast, it would eventually work, with the added plus that Kaname would have no way of stopping him this time, or even finding his body.

But then... Kaname wouldn't be looking for a body. The pureblood probably wouldn't be sane anymore by that time, if he was even still alive. The moment their bond snapped... well, Zero couldn't pretend this time that he didn't know that would happen. He shouldn't care. After what Kaname had done to him, he really shouldn't care. Maybe they were both better off dead.

Zero wiped away rivulets of rain that were dripping from his short silver hair into his eyes. This was his moment of truth, wasn't it? The only real escape he would ever have from Kaname was to either kill the pureblood, or kill himself _and_ the pureblood. The first did not even bear thinking about. The second... was lying right before him, within reach. All he had to do was make the decision and let go.

All he had to do... a few steps, just lean out over the edge... so easy...

But Zero was still standing, frozen in place. He had no more use for his own life. If it were just him, he would already be in the water. But to make this choice, he had to be ready to accept that he was sealing Kaname's fate as certainly as his own. It would be tantamount to walking up to the pureblood and emptying his gun in his heart. Which Zero had unwillingly done once before... and hated... so desperately hated...

His eyes burned again with stupid, foolish tears as he gazed hopelessly into the water. _Oh crap. _He was truly screwed beyond all definition of screwed. Because... he suddenly realized with an awful, gut chilling shock that he couldn't do it. Even if Kaname was standing before him and he knew it was the only way to keep from being bound... Zero could not find in himself the will to kill him. It... it was hard enough trying to think of not seeing him again. Hard enough trying to force himself to plan, to figure some way to hide that would keep them far apart...

The pain in Zero's heart settled deeper. Standing there, miserable in the rain, he finally realized the damning truth. He couldn't bring himself to harm Kaname... he... he couldn't even bring himself to _leave_ him. The thought of never seeing him again, of never being near him or hearing his voice... it was overwhelming. The tears flowed harder. So stupid, so screwed up, so bitter, yet so unstoppable.

Zero sank his head into his hands as he stood alone above the roaring river. It was too late. He was already lost, and it was no one's fault but his own. The pureblood didn't _have_ to bind his will to hold him captive; Zero was already irrevocably tied to him.

\--------------------------------------

Kaname had showered and changed into dry clothes, but he didn't remember doing either. He sat on the edge of his bed, looking across the room without seeing. Every now and again he could sense the presence of others outside his door. They were worried about him, but they weren't about to breech the privacy of his rooms without permission, or even intrude so far as to knock.

Kaname didn't want to see anyone. No, that wasn't true... but there was only one person he wanted to see, and he wasn't likely to come. The pureblood knew he couldn't afford to stay like this. He should go find Zero. It wasn't safe leaving him out there alone in his current, disturbed state... but what would he say when he found him? Would Zero just try to run from him again? And if Kaname didn't let him... Zero would just hate him all the more, wouldn't he?

Kaname ran his fingers through his damp hair. He didn't know how to make this right. He deeply regretted going off on Zero like he had in the library. Zero had wounded him deeply, but there was no excuse for him to lose control like he had. He'd hurt Zero and obviously frightened him badly. He'd... _Oh God... _he'd forced from Zero something which he knew his lover had not wanted to relinquish. It almost made him cry just thinking about it. And to bite him like that... _you stupid moron! _It had taken so much gentle, seductive work in the beginning to get Zero to see that a bite could be pleasurable, not something to fear... to build the trust that he'd just managed to shred in a matter of minutes.

Kaname was still deeply hurt by Zero's betrayal, but he was also very angry at himself. He wished he could take back what he had done, but that wasn't possible. Maybe... maybe if he... apologized... maybe Zero would come back, even if not forgive him. It was a hard pill to swallow for his pride, but his pride mattered very little right now in the face of his breaking heart.

He pressed his hand against the aching side of his neck. The sensation had faded to a dull throb, indicating that Zero must be fairly far away, but the distress had only grown. The dull dread that Zero might do something to harm himself again gnawed at the pit of Kaname's stomach. The pureblood didn't even care what it would mean for him right now, but he would never forgive himself if he'd driven Zero back to that brink.

Pushing himself to his feet, Kaname knew he could wallow in his own pain and self pity no longer. Maybe he couldn't make things right, but he had to try. He pulled on his long leather rain coat and turned up the collar before striding out of his room. As predicted, he found a small knot of worried vampires hanging around outside his door.

Aido was leaning, back against the wall, arms folded desolately across his chest, looking at the floor. Kain was standing beside him, one shoulder against the wall, hands in his pockets. Takuma was talking softly to Ruka and Shiki sharing pocky with Rima and listening to her talk about the photo shoot from which she'd just returned.

All of them straightened up and turned towards him when Kaname came out of his room.

"Takuma, send for the car, please," Kaname said quietly, simply. "I'm going to look for Zero."

Takuma nodded quickly and all those present looked just a little relieved.

\--------------------------------------

Rain was still pouring from the now slightly brighter sky as Kaname stalked swiftly down the drive towards the waiting car. Takuma followed him, holding an umbrella over both of them against the rain which Kaname wasn't really noticing. Aido bobbed along behind, the hood of his rain jacket pulled low over his blond curls. He was the only one who had ignored Kaname's subtle hint that he didn't need _everyone_ tagging along behind him as they'd all started to do.

Takuma's brows furrowed as they reached the vehicle. "Do you want a..."

"No, I don't need a driver," Kaname cut him off, anticipating the question as he quickly tugged the car door open. He needed to find Zero... the distracted urgency of it was claiming all his attention. He was sorely tempted to simply take off after Zero on foot, as he could easily cover quite a lot of distance that way, and without having to stick to roads, but even if he eventually abandoned it, he wanted to have the car nearby. When he found Zero, it would be easier to transport them both back that way then on foot, especially in this miserable weather. He didn't want to make Zero _walk _home. Providing of course that Zero was _willing_ to come home to begin with. If he wasn't... Kaname would have to cross that bridge when he came to it.

"Kuran-senpai!" a voice calling out to them made Kaname unwillingly halt with the car door open, turning to look towards the source of the voice. Only because he recognized to whom the voice belonged did he not simply ignore the bid for attention and drive off anyway.

Headmistress Wren hurried towards him, a navy blue rain slicker covering her clothes, one aging hand holding the hood down a bit to keep the rain out of her face. Kaname did not have the history with this woman that he'd had with Chairman Cross, but he respected her as headmistress. Right now, he reluctantly tolerated her interruption.

"Kuran-senpai, I'm glad I caught you," Wren said as she drew to a slightly out-of-breath halt a few paces away. It was obvious Kaname was about to leave, but the elderly woman's eyes were dark with troubles of her own.

"We just received news that a levy has given way upstream. The river is rising rapidly and many areas have already seen some serious flash floods. We here at the school are safe on high ground, but if another levy gives way, a good portion of town will end up under water. Some men have come gathering volunteers. I've canceled classes. The teachers, most of the Day Class students and the hunters have volunteered to assist with the sandbagging." The headmistress glanced towards the grey, rain laden sky that totally obscured the morning sun.

"I know it's late for you," she said earnestly, her gaze shifting between Kaname, Takuma and Aido, indicating that she meant vampires in general. She was also aware that manual labor was not probably very high on the aristocratic nobles' list of enjoyable pastimes.

"But I was wondering if you would object to a call for volunteers among the Night Class as well?" Vampire strength would probably be a real asset to the town right now, but Wren knew she had to let this be Kaname's call. She'd known from the start of her term here that she had very little real power over the Night Class, except what their Class President made sure was due her.

Kaname gave a small nod, understanding the situation. "Of course not." Kaname turned to Takuma. "Ichijo, gather all the students who can be outside during the day and take them to the levy to assist in the sandbagging," he ordered simply. Volunteering wasn't a concept they needed to waste time on. He told them to go, they would go. It made life so much easier and more efficient really.

Takuma gave a quick nod, starting to turn away but Kaname's hand on his arm halted him a moment.

"Make sure there's no trouble," Kaname said quietly. The situation at the levy and in town was likely to be chaos, Kaname didn't want any of his vampires losing their heads or taking advantage of the situation. He trusted Ichijo to keep them in line. "And be sure that they remember themselves and do not act out of place," he added in the same soft tone. Last thing they needed were a bunch of already over-wrought humans getting freaked out by an unnatural display of strength or an accidental use of powers.

Takuma gave another nod and Kaname released him. The Night Class Vice President passed the umbrella off to Kaname and hurried back up the walk towards the dorm.

"I trust that will be acceptable?" Kaname inquired of the Headmistress as he turned back towards her. "And I trust you will do what you can to make sure that the Day Class students do not overly enthuse themselves because of our presence..." he added, a slightly wry tone flickering briefly in his voice.

Wren gave a respectful nod and a smile. "Yes, Kuran-sempai, thank you. Don't worry, everyone is aware of how serious the situation is, I do not foresee any antics or trouble. And, as I said, our hunter class is also going... I'm sure they will do their best to make sure that the rest of the Day Class does not get... overly friendly," her look was also wry despite her troubled gaze. She inclined her head and then turned to hurry away. "I will go tell the others."

Aido remained, giving Kaname a concerned, indecisive look as if he wasn't sure where his place should be. He obviously wanted to help Kaname look for Zero, and Kaname appreciated that, but this was his task, and his alone. He touched Aido's shoulder.

"Go, help Takuma. It's going to be chaos out there, and I'm not too confident about Wren's promises regarding the behavior of the other students. I'm counting on you and Kain to help keep order since I cannot be there myself," he said quietly, his choice of words intentionally displaying the trust he had in the blonde's capabilities. Sending those two trouble-prone cousins to keep peace might have seemed like sending wolves to guard the henhouse, but they had proved to Kaname already that he could trust them implicitly when things got serious. Plus, he was fairly sure that Aido's fan club among the human students wouldn't cause much trouble if Idol-sempai told them to tow the line.

Aido seemed to understand that Kaname needed to go alone, and he gave a small smile at the pureblood's trust. "Don't worry about a thing, we'll take care of it, Kaname-sama," he said with an assuring look. He paused, his eyes softening slightly. "And... good luck."

Kaname gave a small dip of his head, having to look away before the burning in his eyes betrayed him. He handed the umbrella off to Aido and got into the car and drove away down the rain slicked drive.


	19. Open the Floodgates

**Chapter Nineteen: "Open the Floodgates" **

Zero still stood on the riverbank, heedless of the falling rain. It had eased up to more of a drizzle now, but he was already soaked through and it hardly mattered.

The sound of laughter stirred him slightly from his thoughts. A little further upstream he saw several children walking along near the edge of the embankment. Siblings probably, they all shared a family resemblance. A little boy that couldn't have been more than four, a little girl not too much his senior and an older boy who was probably around 11 or 12, watching over the younger ones and herding them along like little ducklings, trying to get them to keep moving and stop playing so near the edge. They probably lived around here, since they were a good way from town. Vaguely, Zero noted that school must have been let out because of the weather or something. He wondered if classes were canceled at the Academy too. He wondered what Kaname was doing...

Zero sighed and closed his eyes. He stood there a moment, then felt his body tense as a familiar feeling prickled through him. _Oh. _Guess he didn't have to wonder much longer, did he?

Gathering up another handful of small stones, he started chucking them into the river again, watching them disappear. Like his future. He'd always known better than to have any hopes and dreams in his life. He'd lost the right to those things the instant Shizuka bit him and changed his world. Yet he'd been a fool and looked for some anyway, only to lose them to fate, and to another pureblood vampire. Irony sucked. Life was so stupid. His knuckles whitened around the stones he was holding and his heart started speeding up.

The hunter knew Kaname was nearby, he'd felt him from a distance and heard the sound of a car pulling off the road. He sensed the pureblood's approached, soundless as the other vampire was, but he didn't turn, gazing fixedly out at the water as he slowly winged another pebble into the rippling, flowing surface, watching the rushing river carry it away. His body was tense, but he made no move. He'd already chosen not to run; it was too late to change that decision now.

Kaname had his coat collar turned up against the rain, but by the time he'd made his way through the trees and down towards the riverbank escarpment it had already plastered his hair to his head and ran in small rivulets off the long leather coat. He'd driven around for a while, trying to get a sense of where Zero might have gone, when he'd finally gotten lucky and felt Zero's presence from the road.

Seeing Zero standing where he was standing had made the pureblood's heart flip-flop for a moment, but he'd quickly seen that the hunter did not appear to be in imminent danger of jumping, so he forced himself to move normally, not wanting to spook Zero, who he could already tell was reacting tensely to his presence.

Kaname stood silently for several moments, watching Zero from a few feet away as the boy refused to acknowledge his presence. Normally Kaname would have waited him out, forcing the other to give in first, but the pureblood wasn't in the mood for games. Emotionally, he felt like a sponge that had been saturated and then wrung dry too many times. This continued up and down rollercoaster relationship with Zero was sapping him. His own doubts and fears and hidden insecurities were sapping him. His whole world had been captured and subjected to the whims and moods of a brooding ex-human who hated him. Life was so stupid.

Kaname sighed softly, brushing rain out of his eyes and folding his arms. "Why are you doing this, Zero?" he asked quietly, breaking the silence first. Kaname didn't understand what had gone so wrong for them today. Why did Zero have to punish him like this? Kaname supposed he deserved it, _now, _but things couldn't continue like this between them... they were slowly destroying each other, like water and acid. Kaname didn't know how much longer they could go on like this before one or the other of them did something unforgivable. Maybe he already had. "Didn't you know I'd come looking for you?" he added quietly.

Zero chucked a rock into the water with a little extra vehemence, but didn't turn, keeping his back to the pureblood. "Yeah," he said quietly, a trace of bitterness in his tone. "I knew. I suppose I just like to pretend that some part of my life still belongs to _me_. Guess that _is_ pretty stupid, huh?" The stone made a harsh little _ploop _sound as it hit the water and vanished under the tumbling flow.

Soon... none of his life would belong to him, not even his mind or his will. His eyes burned, his throat felt tight. He knew by not running when he'd had the chance, he was practically handing himself to the pureblood, _asking _to be made his thrall, but he was out of options. He was apparently too much of a soft-hearted coward to throw himself into the river and he could not escape the man standing behind him... physically or emotionally.

Thunder rumbled in the rain swollen clouds overhead. Zero was completely drenched and his white shirt was almost translucent as it clung to the graceful lines of his body. Kaname tried very hard to not be distracted by that. He closed his eyes, feeling the rain running down his face and the hopeless frustration knotted inside him. No matter what he did, Zero would never see him as anything but the enemy, would he?

"Come back to the car with me, Zero. There's flash flood warnings out for this area," he said quietly, coming up short for figuring out what he really wanted to say. He wanted to apologize, to beg Zero's forgiveness... but it he didn't know what to say or how to start...

Zero ignored him, stooping to pick up more stones from the wet gravel at his feet. He flung one into the river and picked up another, turning it over slowly in his fingers. "Stop it," he said softly, almost whispering, words just audible above the pattering rain and the rush of the river. The hunter's shoulders were razor tense. "Stop playing these fucked up games with me," his voice acquired a hard edge that only barely hid the desperation and despair underneath. Despair... and _fear. _Heavy, thick, cloying fear such as Kaname had never felt from the stoic hunter before.

Kaname stared at Zero's back, feeling a harsh lump rise in his throat. There it was again. Zero was terrified. Of him. He uncrossed his arms and slid his hands into his coat pockets where they balled into fists. Well, he'd given him plenty of reason for that, hadn't he?

"Zero," he said quietly. "Just-"

"Just _what?_" Zero clenched his fist tightly around the stone in his hand before throwing it violently into the water and spinning to face Kaname. _Damn it! _He couldn't do this anymore! He couldn't... it was breaking him. His feet slid a bit on the gravel but not enough to unbalance him.

"Just keep pretending? Just go with you like everything's going to be okay and you're not going to..." Zero swallowed convulsively. He was at the end of his rope and there was only yawning chasm below him. "I understand now. You don't have to pretend like you care anymore. All you _ever _cared about was making sure I didn't kill myself and take you with me. I heard you and Aido in the library, Kaname. I know what you..." Zero choked again. The words were leaving him an anguished, explosive rush but some things he found he simply couldn't say. It hurt so bad. So damn bad. He'd almost believed it, all of it.

Kaname closed his eyes, his heart clenching painfully with regret and horror as he finally understood. _Oh God... _He'd never meant for Zero to hear that. Suddenly, the mess that followed after made a sick kind of sense. No _wonder _Zero had seemed fit to jump out of his skin... _no wonder _he'd freaked out and attacked him. He must have misconstrued what he heard and thought that Kaname _intended_ to bind him. And then... Kaname had done what he'd done. The pureblood felt like crap. Was it any wonder the boy had been terrified? Had tried to run? Kaname wished miserably that it was a completely unjustified fear, that he'd never even considered binding him. Why did everything have to be so hard and confusing?

"I shouldn't be surprised. I guess the real question is why you didn't do it sooner?" Zero demanded, eyes blazing with pain and hopelessness as he looked at the pureblood higher up the bank. "Why this huge, elaborate game, Kaname? Why? Did you really just not know _how _to do it? Or would it have been too _boring_ for you if your whore was too willing? You got off on toying with me and watching me suffer, is that it? On knowing that you owned me without even having to lift a damn finger?" Zero was almost shouting, his voice and emotions bleedingly raw. Tears blended with the rain streaking down his face.

Kaname was shocked speechless by the outburst. He understood Zero was angry and hurt about what he had overheard, but these things he was saying... He stared at Zero, blinking numbly, stupidly in the rain, a horrible, sinking feeling winding through his chest and making it hard to breathe. His – his... _what? _Good God... what did Zero think the pureblood was? No... worse... what did Zero think he himself was? Was that all their relationship had ever meant to the hunter? Pain seared through Kaname, so harshly he couldn't even form any kind of reply to the anguished accusations. It didn't matter, Zero was still speaking. The floodgates seemed to have opened and the hunter had to get it all out or drown under the repressed torrent of hurt.

"Damn it, Kaname! I can't do this anymore..." Zero's shoulders shook and he wrapped his arms around his chest, half folding them, half hugging himself as if to keep from falling apart. He could see the beginnings of some kind of denial on Kaname's face and he didn't think he could bear to listen to any more deception. "Don't do this to me. Don't lie to me, don't pretend like you care whether I live or die except for our stupid bond! You and I both know where I really stand." Zero dropped his eyes. He was trembling.

"I'm not stupid and I'm not so suicidal that I have to be sheltered anymore. I get it, okay? I understand how things are. You give me your blood, and I'm available for your needs, simple, even an idiot can get that, right?" he mumbled miserably. His eyes burned with tears hidden by the rain and his head drooped a little further. He'd done a lot of thinking out here by the river. Feeling like a doomed man waiting for the executioner to show up had a way of bringing morbid clarity. In a way, as much as he hated to admit it, he supposed Kaname had a valid claim on his life. He wouldn't be alive _or_ sane without the pureblood. Whatever his reasons, Kaname had sacrificed dearly for him in the past and suffered horribly because of it. Despite how hurt and betrayed he felt, there was no way to explain away _everything_ that Kaname had done for him as nothing but part of a game and Zero knew it. Maybe in some screwed up way, Kaname did care about him... like a pet or a possession or a thing. The pureblood wasn't necessarily a horrible person, he was... he was just a _vampire. _And Zero was the idiot for expecting him to be more than he was. The simple truth that Zero had to face, however, was that deep inside, he still wanted Kaname, still needed him, for so much more than just survival. He didn't have the strength or the desire to leave him, even knowing what that meant. His own weakness terrified him, but there was nothing left he could do about it.

Kaname was at an uncharacteristic loss. He was horrified. He didn't know what to say, how to react, how to try to tell Zero how wrong he was. He started forward a step and Zero shrunk back a pace before he could stop himself, sliding a few feet back on the slippery gravel.

"It... it doesn't have to be this way," Zero whispered miserably, visibly drawing into himself, his tone soft and desperate. Shame wound hot, slick, sickening tendrils through every fiber of his being, but his mouth ran wretchedly of its own accord. "I owe you for what you do for me, I know that. I won't run again, I won't fight you, and I-I'll..." he almost couldn't say it. "I'll... continue to warm your bed for you," he whispered miserably, feeling the depth of his disgrace and the weight of the chains binding his soul almost like a physical presence. He hated himself for what he was doing, for falling to this unforgivably pathetic level, but fear and desperation had stripped everything from him. It was already what he'd been doing, wasn't it? Yet somehow, putting words to it, acknowledging it... made it a million times worse.

"Just don't..." he could barely get the words out. "Don't bind me," he finally forced the strangled plea past his unwilling lips. He had sunk so low now, he didn't think he could ever see daylight again. He'd already surrendered everything to Kaname and now all he could do was beg the pureblood not to take the only thing he had left. He shouldn't have done it. He was weak. He should have defied the vampire to the end. But the idea of being bound... it was the one thing in the world that terrified Zero so badly even his pride and defiance succumbed. Couldn't Kaname understand that?

"You told me once... you couldn't imagine anything worse than being a captive in your own body. It _happened _to you, Kaname... you _know _what it's like..." Zero's eyes shone with anguish. Kaname had been a captive to Rido's will, inside his own body last year; Zero _knew _how much it had hurt him. It killed the hunter inside that Kaname wanted to turn around and do something so similar. _How could you do that to me? _Utterly lost, Zero dropped his gaze and buried his face in his hands.

Kaname's eyes stung harshly, and not from the rain that was dripping from his hair and running into them. Seeing Zero this broken and terrified cut him the deepest core of his being. It was so wrong... to see the strong-willed hunter practically _begging _him like this and the pureblood repressed a raw sob of anguish. He'd never, _never_ meant to break the boy this badly. Horrible, razor-edged shards of pain churned inside him. Zero was right... Kaname _did _know. He remembered the horrible, horrible cost of saving Zero and Yuki from Rido's clutches, but he hadn't thought... he hadn't ever equated binding to that kind of complete mental rape. It was just one of those viewpoints you were raised with and accepted. Yet when it came down to it, the two really weren't so different. _Oh God... _he _was _a monster for not seeing it that way before. His throat hurt so badly he could only swallow helplessly to try and keep emotion from choking him. It wasn't only Zero's fear of being bound that stabbed the aching stake into Kaname's heart though. It was also the very clear picture the hunter obviously had of what exactly their 'arrangement' was.

What had he done? When had he made Zero think that he was worth so little all Kaname wanted from him was to trade blood for sex? Kaname ached to rush forward and hug Zero to him, to hold him and try to caress away the misery etched across every line of his dripping form... but how could he, now? If that was really the way Zero thought things stood with them... then Kaname had apparently been unwittingly doing little better than raping the hunter for months. No wonder Zero hated him. Sure, his lover had been a bit resistant sometimes, but he'd thought that was just the way Zero was, that he needed and enjoyed the game of resistance and seduction that they played in order to appease his pride... He'd never suspected that Zero might actually _not_ _want _it... Kaname physically couldn't breathe. There simply wasn't enough oxygen in the air, or maybe he'd forgotten how to make his lungs work. Had Zero really only been sleeping with him out of a sense of obligation? Because he thought he had no choice,like he was _selling _himself? It... it hadn't _seemed _that way!

Kaname knew he'd been out of line back in the library, but that was _one_ time... one time out of their entire relationship... but apparently, in Zero's mind, they didn't _have _a relationship because Kaname was nothing but a... a what? _You're no better than Seiji you frigging idiot. _

"No! Zero... no..." the pureblood's mind was reeling, he had no idea what to address first, how to start, pain and horror stripped him of his usual eloquence and he felt clumsy and stupid. "Please... I have no intention of binding you. I swear!" he protested, desperate to be believed. His voice cracked. He ached to touch Zero... to reassure him... he reached out almost unconsciously and Zero flinched. Kaname quickly dropped his hand again, fighting a losing battle against the shameful tears that he no longer seemed to have any control over.

"I just wanted to know the options, that's all I asked from Aido. I'm sorry, perhaps it was wrong of me, but this... this is _frightening_ for me, Zero," he confessed, no longer caring about the weakness he divulged. "I depend on you so much... _too _much... I-I don't know how to understand or come to grips with whatever it is we are to one another. I... I did consider binding you, briefly," he admitted, ashamed, but knowing that Zero deserved and obviously needed the truth from him. "But even Aido could see it was a mistake, that it wasn't what I wanted. I promise I will not do that to you, not now, not _ever. _It would destroy everything about you that I treasure, Zero..." he whispered hoarsely around the hard, cutting lump in his throat. "I... I wouldn't do that to you. I _won't._"

Zero just looked at Kaname, shock, incomprehension and a small, desperate flicker of hope tracing behind his swimming amethyst eyes. He didn't know how he could ever believe what Kaname said... he _shouldn't _believe it, given their track record... but there was something so intensely sincere and honest about the pain, shock and remorse in Kaname's eyes, that Zero could not believe he was simply lying again. Why would he, anyway? He had nothing to gain. There was nothing Zero could do to stop him from doing as he pleased, and he'd had already as much as practically agreed to be the pureblood's slave if he didn't bind him. But Kaname said he didn't _want_ to bind him... and the pureblood's fear... that he could understand. Didn't he feel the same way? Frightened of this strange dependence, trying to pull away from it only to find that was impossible? It struck a deep chord in him to realize in shock that Kaname had actually been feeling the same way. Half-formed relief tugged at Zero's gut, sharp and painful in its agonized uncertainty. Dare he believe this? Dare he accept what Kaname said? What his heart was so incredibly desperate to believe?

"Treasure?" Zero whispered, hating the hot tears that were once again sliding freely down his cheeks. _Dear God... why did his heart ache so unbearably at that unbelievable choice of words? _He scrubbed roughly at his eyes. Just when he'd reconciled himself to something, Kaname always turned the tables on him, always screwed with his head. "I don't understand... why do you do this to me? Why do you say these things when you don't mean them? _Damn it,_ Kaname!" he was trying to be angry, but it came out as a harsh sob instead.

Kaname shook his head. "I _do_ mean them! Zero, I don't know what put these ideas in your head, but I never wanted you as a... a..." he couldn't say the word in conjunction with Zero, he just couldn't. It was too _wrong._

"Like _that_..." he said instead, struggling to breathe around the pain constricting his chest. "I never wanted you to _pay _me for my blood. I _like _giving it to you. What we shared was... special in its own way. At least, to me it was. I thought... you wanted it too, that we had an understanding, that we were just... friends, helping each other. I never meant to make you think you had to – to _sell_ yourself to me." The words felt dirty just saying them. "Zero, I overreacted to what you said in the library. I should not have treated you like that, especially in front of the others." The admission of fault in a situation that had hurt him so much too was bitterly hard for him, but at the moment, horror and heartache was severely trumping pride. Kaname didn't know how he could ever make this whole mess right. Didn't understand how the mess had come to be in the first place, or how Zero could think these horrible things.

The pureblood took a few steps closer to Zero, balancing carefully but easily on the loose footing. Hesitantly, he reached out and touched the hunter's soaked sleeve lightly. Zero tensed, but at least he didn't retreat this time.

"That's what I came out here to tell you," Kaname whispered softly, the tears obvious in his eyes now, even through the rain as his anguished, earnest gaze fixed on Zero. "That I was sorry. I won't do that to you again, I promise. Zero... how could you think that I thought so little of you...?" He shook his head, feeling utterly at a loss.

It was Zero's turn to stare at Kaname in utterly befuddled shock. He couldn't quite absorb what he was hearing, it didn't make any sense. It was enough of a surprise that Kaname was _apologizing _to him, but the rest of it... Zero honestly couldn't wrap his mind around the pureblood's refutation of the supposed facts that he had accepted as truth for so long now. His heart ached, deeply. Everything in him wanted to grab onto what Kaname said. Wanted to pull it into himself and hold it like an unexpected lifeline in the middle of a vast ocean of despair. But it was too good to be true... too much exactly what he wanted to hear yet could never have imagined he would. How much foolish hope could he dare believe at one time? He was so confused.

"But... you were the one who told me. You _told _me," Zero protested, eyes locked in wary incomprehension on the pureblood. He was too broken, too vulnerable to be played again. He couldn't afford it. If Kaname was lying to him now... taunting him with this precious, unheard of hope... Zero would not survive the trip back to reality. Not this time. He couldn't take anymore. "You were very clear that I had no claim on you. That you gave me life and in return I-I warmed your bed, and that's all it was," the ex-human whispered hoarsely.

Kaname looked at Zero like he was crazy for a moment before the hunter's word choice, both now and earlier finally prickled an old memory and the long ago conversation slammed back to the fore of Kaname's recollections. His eyes widened. _Oh crap... _Zero had been thinking this way ever since _then? _The intense pain that those particular memories brought back with them mingled with the current hurt and the tears that had been burning the pureblood's eyes escaped again in a hot flood.

The long forgotten argument replayed in vivid Technicolor in his mind. Yes... he had said those things. He'd slammed Zero to the wall and hurt him, maybe badly. No wonder Zero thought he was a monster. He couldn't even offer any excuse. It was the same mistake he'd made in the library. He'd lashed out in anger, he'd chosen his words to be cruel and cutting, he'd _wanted_ to hurt Zero and apparently he had, far too deeply.

Yes. He remembered. It had been _that_ day... that same, horrible day that he'd hastened Yuki's death. The same day he'd held her in helpless horror and panic as her body convulsed in his arms and she cried in pain, blood seeping from her ears and the corners of her mouth. Because of him. His touch had done that to her, _what he was _had done that to her. That day... the same day Zero had yelled at him, quite rightly, that he was a son of a bitch and it was all his fault. It had been a horrible time, marked with failure after failure. Kaname hadn't realized he could have found yet one more way to completely screw up that day, but apparently he had, and he hadn't even known it until now.

_His fault._ Everything... this whole mess... Zero's pain, all the hurt he must have been carrying around with him so long... it was all his fault.

To Zero's shock, Kaname's knees actually buckled and he slid to the ground, kneeling numbly on the wet gravel at Zero's feet, hands resting limply on his thighs. Kaname blinked slowly as the rain streamed down his body. He really did destroy everything he touched, didn't he? He had no one to blame for _everything_ but himself. Kaname pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes. Soft, repressed sobs shook his shoulders.

"I didn't mean it," he rasped softly, miserably. "I was upset, Zero. I'd just... I'd just practically killed Yuki. All my life, since before I was even weaning, all I ever wanted to do was protect her," Kaname turned tear-reddened, miserable eyes up towards the hunter and compassionate pain stabbed through Zero's being. There was something in the purebloods eyes he'd never seen before. Some vulnerable, broken echo of emotion, like getting a faint, far away glimpse of the gentle little boy Zero had never known.

"I promised her parents... I _promised_... They died, because of me. I loved her, Zero. And she died because of me too. I was hurting, and I took it out on you, but it wasn't true, it has _never _been true." Kaname's voice was so deeply anguished it would have touched a heart of stone. "I swear I never thought of you that way. I know... you hate me. For what I did to you, for what I did to Yuki... I don't blame you for that. But I never wanted to hurt you... I never wanted to hurt either of you..."

Kaname's shoulders were shaking. He couldn't hold back the broken, humiliating sobs, but he was too wretched to even feel the sting of their shame. "I'm sorry," he whispered faintly. "I'm so sorry."

Zero stared at Kaname, not knowing what to do for a moment as tears streamed down his own face as well. Despite his own reeling emotions, seeing Kaname this crushed was unexpectedly, unbearably painful. It _hurt _to see the pureblood crumple like this and the ache of it lodged deep in his chest, throbbing unbearably along with his own anguish.

Before he could second guess himself, Zero simply did what his heart most wanted to do. He dropped to his knees in front of Kaname on the wet, muddy gravel and wrapped his arms around the pureblood's shoulders, hanging onto him tightly. He was insane, but... he could not disbelieve what Kaname was saying, not when the pureblood was obviously so broken up about it. Zero hardly knew how to quantify the feelings running through him... were they joy? Pain? Relief? Shock? He didn't even know, there were too many flooding through him all at once, like a dam had burst and he was being completely swamped.

_Kaname didn't want to bind him. Kaname hadn't meant what he'd said, hadn't thought of him like that... _Zero realized that he was sobbing too. _Kaname thought what they had was... special. _Even if only the specialness of friends helping each other through a rough time... it was so much more dignity and self-worth than the hunter had allowed himself in a long time and the thought that Kaname actually cared enough to be this distraught...

Kaname almost started when Zero embraced him. He had not expected it, but the welcome warmth of Zero's arms was soothing to his hideously raw emotions and his arms slid quickly around his lover's back, fingers curling desperately into the soaked fabric of Zero's shirt, holding him close as they knelt together in the rain.

Zero felt the pureblood's hot tears mingled with the rain falling against his neck. "I don't... I don't hate you," he whispered softly, hoarsely. "I couldn't." Looking back, he could begin to realize how deeply his own words on that long ago day must have wounded Kaname as well. Guilt took him. He knew the pureblood had been willing to sacrifice his life and soul to keep he and Yuki safe, yet he'd accused him of killing her. He hadn't meant what he had said either, but he didn't know how to say it, his throat too tight to speak as he cried softly. So he merely held Kaname tighter, his fingers tangling in the other's dark, wet hair.

It was Kaname's turn to feel warm, aching surprise swell in his chest. He hugged Zero almost harshly, clenching his eyes shut as the tears fell, but somehow now with more hope and a different, softer kind of agony. He wasn't sure if Zero meant what he said, or if he was just being kind because Kaname was so damn pathetic right now and that's the way Zero was, but he chose to believe it because he wanted to, his heart latching desperately onto the fact that for Zero to be close to him like this had to mean he didn't hate him, at least not at this moment in time. That was enough. It was more than he deserved.

For several long moments they simply knelt there, holding on to one another. In a way, it was as if they had come full circle, back to the last time they had knelt on a bank, wet, embracing and crying. It felt like a lifetime since then. So much had changed, so much remained the same. They both felt so much more broken... yet like an improperly mended bone, sometimes brokenness was the path to setting things straight.

A bright flash of lightening and a distant, childish shriek finally broke the moment and both Zero and Kaname's heads jerked up, turning automatically in the direction of the sound.

The three children Zero had seen walking along the bank earlier were far away by now, upstream from the two vampires. Only their enhanced vision let them clearly make out the small shapes on the riverbank from this distance.

The youngest boy must have wandered too close to the edge of the escarpment. The searing flash of lightening arcing across the sky had startled him and he lost his footing, sliding on the loose gravel. He teetered on the edge, clutching in panic at his sister beside him. The little girl screamed as she was tugged off balance and started to slide as well, but she still clutched at her brother, trying to pull him back, trying to catch her balance. It was no use, it all happened too fast. Even as the two vampires' gaze found them, the children had already lost their battle with gravity and tumbled down the steep bank in a rush of loose earth until the ledge disappeared and they were thrown off, plunging into the rushing current below.

It was perhaps the horror in the older brother's cry as he watched his siblings disappear that would stick with Zero the longest. The young boy stood on the bank, staring at the river in shocked terror for about a second. Then he threw himself off the edge, diving after his brother and sister, trying to swim towards them. It was a brave, but foolish thing to do. There was no way a boy his size was going to be able to fight the punishing, flood swollen current enough to save _himself_, much less pull his younger siblings to safety. The reality was; he would merely die with them.

Sometimes it was easier to die with those you loved then to outlive them and carry the grief and the guilt forever. That thought struck a chord in both Kaname and Zero's hearts, although they didn't really have time to think much just now. They were on their feet in an instant. The current was ruthlessly fast and in a few heartbeats, it had already swept the three children halfway across the distance between them, carrying them downstream towards the two vampires.

Another heartbeat and the pair were off the riverbank and diving into the water. Zero had kicked off his shoes and Kaname had shed shoes and coat with vampire speed. They hadn't even needed a look between themselves to confirm their course of action... neither was about to let those children drown, and somehow they already knew the other would feel the same way.

The water was cold and the current violent. It sucked Kaname under momentarily, but he rolled with the flow, easily pushing to the surface again with several strong strokes. Vampire speed and strength would give them the edge they needed, but he still didn't want to stay in here too long. Or... more truthfully, he didn't want _Zero _in here too long. He caught sight of the familiar silver head ahead of him. Zero was fine, fighting the current as he angled towards the little boy and girl who were bobbing wildly, the river rushing them downstream towards him. Kaname saw the older boy a little further upstream.

The child's head went under and didn't come up. The pureblood sliced harder through the water, fighting the current to reach him. Grabbing a fistful of wet clothing as the current slammed them together, he jerked the youngster's head above the water, gratified to hear the smaller boy gasping and choking for air as he clutched at his unexpected savior. Kaname tried to look around for Zero and the other two. He could see Zero, the hunter was holding something... the current pulled Kaname and his charge under. Kaname quickly kicked them back to the surface, blinking water out of his eyes. He was merely annoyed, but the boy in his arms was terrified, clinging to the pureblood, coughing, spluttering and unintentionally scratching him as he tried to stay above the water. Kaname looked for Zero again and saw a flash of silver near the far bank. On that side of the river the slope was a little gentler and easier to manage, making it the better choice for an exit point.

Kaname scanned the river quickly but didn't see anyone else, so he assumed Zero had the two younger children and started swiftly for shore.

Zero struggled out of the water and hurried several yards up the sloping bank, clutching the sodden, precious, frighteningly unmoving bundle in his arms to his chest. His lungs and muscles burned from the ferocious strain of fighting the river. He felt drained, but resisted the urge to tremble as he dropped to his knees and gently lay the body of the youngest boy down on the ground. The child looked even younger up close, his small, four-year-old frame far too still. Zero didn't know him, but his heart ached and pounded in worry anyway. _Please don't die... _Urgently but carefully, he started administering CPR, trying to be cautious of not applying too much pressure to the achingly small, fragile chest.

To Zero's relief, the little boy's body convulsed after only a few moments. As the hunter rolled him onto his side he threw up water, coughing, choking and now crying hysterically, but obviously very much alive. At about the same time Kaname came up the bank beside them and set the older brother down on his feet. The child was wobbly and nearly fell, but he scrambled to his brother's side, falling to his knees and grabbing the crying youngster, sobbing his name.

"Is he okay? Is he gonna be okay?" the elder brother turned huge, anguished eyes towards Zero and Zero smiled at him gently.

"He's going to be fine, he's just scared. It's okay..." he assured.

The boy wept. "Th-thank you," he said to both Zero and Kaname, and then looked around urgently. "Where's Miki? Where's my sister?"

Kaname and Zero's suddenly alarmed gazes immediately locked with one another.

"I thought you had her!" Zero said what Kaname was thinking as they traded horrified glances, realizing that neither of them did.

Zero was quickly on his feet again, beside the pureblood. There was a strange rumbling sound in the distance, growing closer, like the deep, bass grumble of a passing train, but neither of them gave it much thought at that moment as they urgently scanned the water for any trace of the little girl. The current was so strong... surely, she'd been swept far down stream by now...

"There!" Kaname spotted her, further downstream, but not by too much. She had washed up against some of the partially submerged willow trees and was clinging for dear life onto the thin, dangling branches that trailed in the water as the current tried to suck her away.

Both vampires started forward... and then they saw it. As if in a freeze frame moment of time, they saw the rumbling, dark, churning, 10-foot-high wall of flood water crashing down the narrow river trench towards them, devouring and swamping huge chunks of the bank as it came, picking up swaths of gravel and earth and carrying them forward like deadly missiles. The flash flood warnings had not been amiss.

Kaname instantly tried to reach out and pluck the little girl out of the water from a distance... but she kept dunking under and there wasn't enough of her above the surface for him to get a grip on, just as he'd unfortunately suspected. The churning water was too slippery, too amorphous for him to hold or wrap his mind around easily. The pureblood's heart sank as he instantly calculated the odds. No way to physically reach the little girl and get her back to the shore before the wave hit, even with their speed. Barely enough time to grab the two other children and get them to safety on higher ground.

Zero knew the same truth in the same instant, but all he could see was the terrified face of the little girl – dark, wet hair plastered to her pale face, eyes wide, struggling so hard to hold on... looking so damningly similar to Yuki when she was a child. This girl was a stranger, but there was nothing in him that could let her die without a fight.

"Get those kids out!" Zero shouted as he blurred into motion, trusting that Kaname would take care of the two children on the river bank.

Kaname didn't even have time to scream Zero's name as he saw the hunter plunge back into the water. The flood wall was almost upon them and all he had time to do was grab the two boys and carry them with all speed towards the top of the hill in order to get them clear. He _wanted _to go after Zero, but he had to trust his lover, and he had to save these kids that Zero was willing to risk his life for. There was no way the hunter could hope to outrun the wave, but even as Kaname's heart clenched in sheer panic in his chest, he understood... Zero could not give up. As much as it scared him, he loved him for that.

There was no time for Kaname to hide how fast he had moved from the two boys he was holding as he set them down safe on higher ground, above the path of the flash flood, but the two youngster's white faces said that mental shock had long ago set in and nothing was much of a surprise at this point. They could worry about wiping the children's memories of this whole event later, right now there were much more pressing issues.

Zero reached the little girl in the water just as the thin willow branches she was clinging to snapped and the river jerked her away. He grabbed her as the current propelled them both forward and spun them around... just in time to see the churning, angry wall of water crash down upon them.

Zero spun them back around so his back was toward the impact, hugging the little girl tight to his chest, curling around her in a protective ball to try and shield her from the brutal force of the wave with his body. It wouldn't be enough. The water was not just water, it was dark with silt and debris that it had picked up along its path, turning them into deadly projectiles as it carried them along. If he and the girl somehow miraculously _weren't_ crushed or skewered by debris in the first few instants of submersion, the chances that they would be trapped in the surging undercurrent and carried along under the surface until they drown were extremely high.

"You're not alone, Miki," Zero murmured reassuringly in the little girl's ear as the river engulfed them. It was all he could offer her.

The dark, dangerous water crashed over them, and around them, and by them... but... it didn't _touch _them. Zero had tensed for impact and it took him a moment to realize that the water rushing around them was doing just that – rushing _around _them, as if blocked by some kind of invisible umbrella... and he was no longer being sucked with the current, but held in place by an unseen, yet familiar feeling force...

Zero's head snapped up and he struggled around to find Kaname hovering above and behind him. The pureblood's feet were planted as if he were standing, but there was only water and air beneath him. His arms were outstretched in front of him, palms splayed, facing the surging flow of water and debris as if he could hold it back with the power of his will... which in point of fact was rather what he was doing.

The air shimmered and popped as the water impacted on the 'shield' of telekinetic energy that the pureblood had flung around them. The river split around them as if it had encountered an immovable rock. Zero felt his ears popping too as Kaname's energy fluxed wildly about them.

From the safety of the hill above, the two little boys watched speechless. Kaname had literally disappeared the instant he set them down, only to reappear over the river half a moment before the wave would have hit the two figures in the water. Kaname had never moved so fast in his entire life. He hadn't even known he _could_ but sheer desperation was a powerful motivator.

The water had calmed some in the bubble being created by Kaname's efforts, but even with the pureblood's partial mental grip on them, it was a struggle for Zero to hold he and Miki inside that circle of protection, against the current of the deep water in which they were still floating.

Kaname's out-flung hands trembled, slightly at first, but quickly growing more noticeable. The intense concentration on his face was pained. The water flowed around him, threw itself at them in a constant state of change, surfaces morphing, sliding, pervaded with dirt and debris that was completely different in area, shape and mass, and which in turn only wreaked further havoc on the shape and velocity of the water. So many shifting variables, such an unstable surface structure... Kaname's mind literally burned from trying to keep up and the trembling in his limbs set in deeper, his very bones aching from the strain of the raw amount of power flowing out of him. The pureblood was struggling to keep a hold of everything, desperately attempting to plug a thousand little holes in his 'shield' as the ever changing face of the water sought to elude his grasp and continually rip them open like cracks in a dam. It was as he'd told Zero several weeks ago... _shield _in a case like this was a misnomer. He had to actually catch and hold back every surface, every particle of water and debris surging against them with his mind, _individually. _This particular form of manipulation was bitterly hard for him. So hard he would never have tried to do it if the stakes weren't so high.

Zero could see the urgent stress in Kaname's body as the hunter struggled to keep his and Miki's head above water. Even amidst the chaos, his mind zipped back to a conversation had in a limo in the rain. _Water..._ Kaname had told him that water was a problem for him. He knew how strong the pureblood was... but he could also see that his friend was burning out fast under this impossible strain. To his horror, Zero briefly caught sight of a small trickle of blood tracing from the corner of Kaname's nose. The pureblood was pushing himself too hard, the smaller, more delicate vessels in his body starting to hemorrhage under the force of the power he was unleashing. But if he released his hold on the water... all three of them were dead.

They had to get out of here, they had to get to shore... but Zero couldn't see how, if he moved more than a foot or two in any direction, he and Miki would be swept away.

The six-year-old clung to Zero, too shocked to even cry now as death and destruction flowed around them and they floated, frozen as if in the eye of a tornado of water. One of the huge willow trees beside them was torn from the ground by the rush of the seething flood. Kaname was too focused on the water, he couldn't catch everything. The thin, supple branches flailed madly as the tree was snapped like a matchstick. Zero wrenched away, hunching over Miki quickly to protect her as the stinging tendrils lashed he and Kaname before they were swirled away. The hunter gasped in pain, almost swallowing a mouthful of river as the boughs cut like whips across his back and right shoulder, above and below the water, slicing both shirt and skin.

Kaname grit his teeth as the snapping willow boughs raked across the left side of his neck, shoulder and side, slicing raggedly through his dark shirt and stinging like hell as they cut into the flesh below. One caught his cheek and his vision swam for a moment as he struggled desperately to not be distracted by the pain. He was wearing out fast... he wasn't going to be able to keep this up much longer. He could feel himself emptying, weakening... his mind slowing dangerously and the circle of protection he held around them was shrinking.

As Zero was spun around again by the current, he could see that Kaname had sunk lower, now hovering in water up to his knees as if the sheer pressure of the flood he was trying to combat were pushing him down. The hunter felt the tug of the river suddenly increase and realized that Kaname had lost his hold on him and Miki. He felt a familiar brush of consciousness as Kaname desperately tried to get it back, but Zero mentally shook his head, touching Kaname briefly on the level they had only touched on that once in Kaname's room when he'd moved the shoe. The pureblood was struggling, and Zero wanted to help. This at least, he could do. He kicked hard against the water, bending all his energy and strength to keeping from being washed away from Kaname.

_No, it's okay... I can do this, I can take of myself and the girl. _The unspoken reassurance passed swiftly between them. It was more feeling and impression than actual words, but Kaname understood. He trusted Zero, if Zero said he could do it... he would, and Kaname gratefully let go of at least one element of his battle. His mind felt raw and overused like it had been dragged through broken glass. The flood surge had to pass, had to level out at some point... but that point was proving to be too far away for him to reach. He wasn't going to make it much longer.

Maybe if he'd had his full strength, he could have held out a little longer... it was only now, pushed to his limits, that Kaname even realized he _didn't _have his full strength. It wasn't just because of the graze with the Bloody Rose he'd had earlier. Certainly, it wasn't helping having had that in his system so recently, but he'd drunk Zero's blood shortly thereafter and was mostly healed. But coupled with that, was the fact that he had literally bound a small part of his power, of himself, to Zero through the blood seal he had given him, and thus that portion of his power was no longer within the pureblood's reach. Normally it was such a nominal amount it made no difference, but now he felt its absence and finally actually understood what that meant. In the long run though, it would have made little difference in this situation, and he was glad that it was where it was as he heard Zero struggling determindly in the water behind him. They were going to make it out of this. All of them. Failure was _not_ an option.

"Zero... start moving for shore... we've got to get out of the water..." Kaname's words were a gasped whisper, but the hunter understood. He was fightin hard against the water as well, kicking and stroking with his one free arm to keep himself and his charge in the safety zone. Zero's muscles burned and trembled and his lungs ached. The cuts from the willow branches burned and stung as the muddy water slapped against them and his constant movement continually reopened and tugged at the injuries.

With what felt like painful slowness, Zero struggled through the water, edging ever closer to the shore while staying close to Kaname, who was also slowly edging for shore. Another surge of the flood waves slammed into them as they neared the bank and Kaname faltered, forced down into the water and backwards, almost bumping into Zero as he nearly lost his hold all together. They were in shallow enough water to stand now and Zero just managed to find his footing, gripping Miki with one arm and wrapping his other tight around Kaname's chest from behind, pressing against his back and silently, unconsciously willing Kaname all the strength he had left in his own trembling body as the wave slammed over them. In truth, he thought they might be washed away and wanted to hang onto Kaname, to try to protect him. The pureblood was obviously very worn out.

Kaname couldn't break the wave this time and it battered them as it washed over their heads, engulfing them in choking, stinging darkness that tried to sweep them off their feet. But Zero's silent touch gave him strength, whether physically or emotionally he wasn't sure. Somehow, Kaname managed to force a break in the water again, managed to keep them from getting swept off their tenuous footing long enough for them to scramble the last few, almost impossibly far yards to the safety of the shore.

By the time they found themselves scrambling up the bank, away from the rushing, still rising flood waters, both vampires felt too drained for any thought beyond the survival instinct of getting to the highest ground possible before their strength gave out completely. Zero still had Miki on one hip, but kept his other arm around Kaname's waist, cold, numb fingers gripping the side of the pureblood's belt to help keep him up. Kaname was stumbling and slipping dangerously on the loose, gravely incline.

When they reached the rise where the two little boys waited, Kaname collapsed to his hands and knees, unable to keep his feet any longer. His arms gave and he sank to his elbows, head bowed, wet strands of dark hair brushing the ground as the world swam. He would _not _pass out; he would _not _pass out...

Zero set Miki down, making sure she was okay before releasing her to her brothers, the three children all crying and clinging to one another now. The hunter's knees buckled and he found himself on the ground almost without understanding how he'd gotten there as adrenaline and panic finally bled out into bone gnawing exhaustion. His silver hair clung to his face, dripping water and silt onto his shoulders. They'd been in the center of the flood for probably no more than a minute or two, but both vampires were as exhausted as if they'd run a marathon around the world.

Chest heaving softly in an attempt to catch his breath, Zero used what little energy he currently had left to crawl over to Kaname, half sitting, half collapsing beside him. Fingers trembling with exhaustion, Zero reached out and gently brushed the pureblood's wet, tangled hair back behind one ear.

Zero's white shirt was stained grey-brown from the dirt in the river and red from his own blood where it still oozed from the slowly healing cuts he'd gotten. Every muscle in his body hurt and burned... but as usual, he wasn't thinking much about himself right now, he was worried about his companion.

Kaname hadn't moved and he was trembling softly, visibly. Zero could smell his blood and through the holes torn in his shirt he could see red lines of crimson still welling, mixing with the water dripping from his body. The fact that Kaname was not even healing as fast as Zero was right now, spoke to how incredibly deeply he'd overtaxed himself.

Gently, Zero pulled Kaname closer, drawing the trembling body in against his own, smiling faintly at how badly they were both shaking. He was deeply drawn to the other vampire at this moment. Perhaps it was the caretaker instinct... or perhaps it was because seeing Kaname like this, drained from having recklessly spent himself to the limit to protect someone else, reminded Zero of everything that had made him start to feel for the pureblood in the first place, everything that had started to slowly prove to him that Kaname was different. _When had he lost sight of that...?_

"Show off. That was... pretty impressive..." the hunter wheezed softly, wryly. He couldn't resist lightly touching Kaname's wet hair with his lips and he tried to turn the pureblood's head towards him. Kaname melted easily enough into the hunter's supportive embrace, welcoming it, but he refused to let Zero turn his face towards the light, keeping it down, out of sight with a persistence that elicited a sharp wave of concern from the hunter. Blood was dripping from somewhere onto Zero's leg, _where_ it was coming from he couldn't see because Kaname wouldn't look at him.

"Kaname..." he murmured softly. His motions became insistent, and the pureblood was too weak to fight, finally letting the hunter turn his head and get a look at him.

Zero's chest tightened sharply, painfully. A long, angry red welt split the left side of Kaname's face from chin to temple, narrowly avoiding his eye. It was a nasty cut, but that wasn't the disturbing part. The disturbing and horrifying part was that Kaname was bleeding... from his nose, from his mouth, from his ears, from his eyes... he looked like he'd been caught in an explosion or a concussion wave.

Kaname knew or could guess what he looked like. He could feel the blood on his face, the stinging pain of his ruptured vessels. He felt like he'd liquefied inside and it was seeping out his pores, he was so used up. He let Zero see for a moment before quickly dropping his head again and burying it against the hunter's chest. He was too exhausted and drained to be ashamed of how much comfort he found in the other's arms.

"Kaname..." Zero whispered his name again, this time horrified and with mounting fear. He fought with his own critically wrung-out body, trying to convince it to stand, to pick Kaname up with him. He didn't know what was wrong or how bad, he had to get help...

Kaname sensed his alarm and his intentions and the pureblood's fingers curled quickly in his wet shirt front as he gave his head a little shake, bidding the ex-human to be still.

"No... fine..." he murmured, wearily. "I'll be fine, Zero. Just need a few moments. Don't let the children see," he whispered quietly. "They already have enough nightmare material off of this for a lifetime." Suddenly Zero became aware of the fact that the three young ones had mostly stopped crying and were curiously regarding them from a close distance with innocent eyes still underwritten with the shock of their close call. Now he understood why the pureblood was hiding his face. It was not a sight young eyes needed to see. In actuality, they were probably going to have to wipe these kids' memories anyway, but neither vampire was in a fit state to do so right now.

Tenderly, Zero hugged the dark head to him, cradling Kaname against his chest and keeping him protectively hidden, fingers stroking gently against his hair and neck. His other arm curled around Kaname's shoulders. Zero couldn't help that his fangs throbbed dully at the smell in the air, but thank God his eyes didn't go red. At this moment, even the enticing smell of Kaname's blood and his own weariness could not overcome his deeply protective feelings. He glanced up towards the small, dripping knot of frightened children.

"Is he okay, mister?" The eldest boy asked quietly, nodding at the way Zero was holding Kaname. He was obviously a little freaked out by everything he had seen, almost a little fearful of the two men sitting before him, but he was just as obviously incredibly grateful to be alive and to have his siblings still with him. Miki and the younger boy appeared too young to be frightened by the unusualness of their saviors.

"He's fine, just tired," Zero assured, hopefully with more confidence than he felt. "Hey, you're all gonna be okay," he told them with a weary, reassuring smile. He was careful to move his mouth as little as possible and smile with closed lips, not wanting them to see his aroused fangs. "But no more unplanned swims, huh?"

The three children earnestly shook their heads in rapid agreement as the rain pattered gently around them. Zero bet these kids weren't even going to want to get in the bathtub again for a while. Heck... he kinda had that feeling going on himself right now.

"Where are your wings?" Miki's soft question took Zero by surprise and he wasn't sure what she meant for a moment. Then he realized that she'd seen Kaname hovering in the air and had probably assumed he was flying.

"Um... they're invisible," he said after a moment, not about to try and get into any actual explanations. He felt Kaname give a soft, weakly amused little snort against him. He gave the pureblood's shoulders a wry squeeze. _Hey... give me a break. YOU figure out what to say then... _

Fortunately the answer seemed to satisfy Miki and a moment later she was beside them, small arms curling around her two rescuers for a hug. Her little brother toddled after his sister, following her lead, and after a moment even the older boy followed. He didn't hug, he was too old for that, but he stood close with an appreciative look. He was trying to be so brave and mature, but he was still a child in reality and he'd been so scared. The hesitancy in the children seemed to vanish as the two younger ones pressed close, hugging their dripping rescuers.

Zero winced slightly as small arms unintentionally pressed against his cuts and bruises, but he didn't show it, sliding one arm free of Kaname so he could hug the kids back. Kaname remained still against Zero, but the warm contact of the little bodies was strangely comforting. He could feel the life in them, bright, tiny, vulnerable sparks of heat. Life that could so easily have been snuffed out today. Compared to him even their full, human lifespan would be no more than a mere breath in time, yet there was something almost precious in the ephemeral fragility of it, like the brief, vibrant existence of a butterfly.

"We should get you kids home," Zero said after a moment when the children finally let go. "What are you doing out here anyway?"

It was the elder boy who answered, slowly. "We live just over the hill, not far from the bridge," he gestured upstream, confirming Zero's earlier suspicions that the children weren't very far from home. "Father and mother are working on the levy downstream. We just... we wanted to go help too," he whispered, obviously knowing he'd made a mistake in not keeping his young charges safe at home. "But the rain was so heavy and it was farther away than we thought, so we turned around and were heading back when..." he fell silent, face blanching quietly.

Yes, Zero got the picture. Suddenly Kaname stiffened in his arms.

"The levy?" the pureblood questioned quietly as if a sudden thought had hit him. Every move still aching, he fumbled slowly for the un-tucked tails of Zero's sodden shirt, using them to wipe the blood from his face. He wasn't actively bleeding anymore at least. He finally pulled away from Zero, sitting with difficulty. He was pale and smudged, but the alarming blood was wiped away and the angry welt was the only thing still visible on his face as he finally lifted it.

Zero released Kaname when he felt him shifting, unconsciously slipping his hand to rest on the pureblood's thigh as he sat, partially in a gesture of support... partially because he just needed to keep the contact.

The little boy nodded. "Everybody's working on the levy," he replied, as if they should know that already. "Father doesn't want us there though," he admitted, that shamed look creeping into his eyes again. "He said it's dangerous. On the news, I heard them say that if the dam breaks..."

"They'd all be washed away," Kaname finished for him, and Zero didn't like the sudden look of alarm that was creeping into the pureblood's features. With inhuman effort, Kaname tried to gain his feet. To his utter humiliation, he failed, catching himself on his hands. This was not good... this was _so _not good.

Zero was starting to get alarmed himself, but attempting not to show it for the children's sake. Getting up was... well, it was a really lousy idea, and he wanted nothing more than to sit for a while longer... maybe a few years... but the pain on Kaname's face pressed him unwillingly into action and he slowly rolled to his feet with a groan, offering his friend a hand up. Kaname didn't like having to take it, but he had no choice and accepted it graciously.

Making it to his feet with Zero's help, Kaname turned back to the children. "Can you three make it home all right from here by yourself?" he inquired, keeping his tone calm and reassuring, although Zero could clearly read the escalating worry in the pureblood's body language.

"Yes, it's not far," the older brother replied.

"We're on the right side of the river now, we won't have to cross the bridge," Miki chimed in.

Zero thought that was a good thing as it was entirely likely the bridge was now under water or could have been damaged by the flash flood. He was a bit surprised though when Kaname nodded to the kids. "Okay then, go on and go. But stay well away from the river, all right?"

The children didn't look like they were going to have any trouble with that instruction. The big brother took his younger siblings each by the hand as they started to walk away through the rain. Zero realized with a small shock that Kaname had very, very mildly touched them with his will to give them a sense of calm and enable them to just walk away like that without any questions or hesitation.

The pureblood's face was softly pinched. He obviously didn't have much in him to spare right now. Even that small expenditure cost.

"Kaname... shouldn't we...?" Zero wanted to see the children home, and he also was surprised that Kaname intended to let them go without _fixing _their memories of this event.

Kaname shook his head. "They'll be fine as long as they stay clear of the river. And they're young, they just had a traumatic experience... no one's going to believe them anyway," he said quietly. "Zero, we don't have time."

"Why...?" Zero was almost afraid to ask. The look on Kaname's face was tying his gut into knots already.

"Given what just happened I'm pretty sure there has been another levy breach upstream. We're barely a mile north of the dam. It's already overloaded. When that wave of water that just passed us hits it... it's going to put a critical strain on the structure. And if the dam gives way, it will make the flood we just experienced look like a ripple in a bathtub."

Zero's face paled as understanding gripped him. "The dam's only a few miles from the town levy. All those people..."

"Will have no warning," Kaname finished for him, grimly. He'd lost his cell phone in the water, and it probably would have gotten no reception out here in this storm anyway. He was looking at the river like it was a living adversary. Because there was no way they could run all that distance in their condition... they needed to get back to the car, which was on the opposite shore... and that meant he needed to somehow find enough strength to carry both he and Zero back across the river. He almost shook, his body protesting the notion desperately, but he quelled it. He would do what he had to do.

"We have to tell them to evacuate!" Zero echoed the same numb, sick urgency now as he also looked at the river, realizing the same thing as Kaname.

The pureblood nodded, holding a hand out to Zero and gesturing for him to come close. "Hold onto me, this might be rough," he said quietly, trying to steal himself for the upcoming effort.

Zero hesitated. Kaname was still _shaking _for god's sake... he couldn't expect him to...

"Zero..." Kaname was still holding out his hand. A deep well of very personal worry showed in the pureblood's eyes. It wasn't just a bunch of strangers Kaname was concerned about, was it? Zero felt his stomach turn even more to ice as the truth hit hard. He knew what Kaname was going to say before the pureblood even spoke, his tones hurried and clipped with concern.

"The Night Class, the Day Class, the hunters, the teachers... everyone from Cross Academy is volunteering at the levy. They're all there." _In the path of the flood. _


	20. Holding Fast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _A/N: Aaaand my love of disaster movies is showing. I apologize if I've made any of those typical "oh-yeah-right-like-that-could-happen" mistakes, but given that we're working with vampires... hopefully I have a little leeway. ;) _

**Chapter Twenty: "Holding Fast" **

The ice in Zero's gut solidified as he finally slid his hand into Kaname's and let the pureblood pull him in, Zero's back to his chest, the pureblood's arms curling around him to hold him for their quick trip across the river. The pureblood stilled, trying to gather his slowly rebuilding strength, drawing a certain amount of comfort from the warmth of the hunter's back against his chest and the wet shape of the familiar form in his arms.

Zero could feel the soft tremble in the body behind him and his heart stung with worry. He felt the air changing around them, the pressure starting to shift... and the strain in the body pressed against his back intensifying. The horrifying sight of Kaname's bloody face was still clear in his mind and Zero bit his lip. _Damn it! _This sucked! He hated being helpless to... Suddenly, he pulled away from Kaname a little, just enough to turn around in his arms. "Wait!"

Startled, Kaname's concentration broke and the air settled to normal around them again. The pureblood blinked, his gaze blurring a little as he tried to focus it on the hunter in confusion, concern and annoyance. "Zero-"

With cold, fumbling fingers, Zero reached up and yanked down the right side of his sodden collar. "Drink first," he told the other vampire. He'd meant it to be a simple, forceful statement, but his tone betrayed him and wavered just slightly with a hesitancy he'd not meant to show. The way Kaname had mauled his neck in the library was too raw and too fresh in his memory, but he knew this was the right thing to do. He couldn't get them across the river. Kaname could, but the pureblood was obviously still spent and recovering from his last exertion. This much, Zero could do. This he could offer. This he... _wanted _to offer. It just made sense. It was hardly like it was the first time he'd done it.

Kaname froze, looking at Zero in surprise. A sudden, tender aching look filled his eyes. Zero was right, it would help him bounce back faster, but... but he couldn't. He could feel the tenseness in the hunter's body that he couldn't hide, the apprehension. It killed him that he'd put that back into Zero again. No, he couldn't bite him when Zero was almost _afraid _of him still.

Kaname looked away. "No," he murmured. "I'm fine. Zero, we don't have time..."

"You're _not _fine, damn it!" Zero snapped, annoyed with himself for his own hesitancy, which he knew Kaname could read like an open book. The glitter of pain in the pureblood's eyes _hurt. _"You were bleeding like something out of an exorcist movie a minute ago and you're shaking like a fricking leaf."

The falling rain felt cold upon the hunter's exposed neck, reinforcing his vulnerability and making him shiver slightly. He felt like they'd had this conversation before, or something like it. Kaname always thought he was Mister-Fricking-Invulnerable. Sometimes it actually irritated Zero. Right now, he just wanted the pureblood to hurry up before his nerves wound any tighter.

"Zero..."

Zero shook his head, adamant. "You're the one who said we didn't have time, stop wasting it! Let me do this! I want to. It's okay. I... I trust you. Just _do _it," Zero demanded, his voice starting off firm, but ending up soft and quiet by the end.

The soft ache in his Kaname's eyes deepened, almost looking like the sheen of tears. Zero offering this to him, even if it was under these circumstances... it meant a lot to the pureblood. It whispered at the unthinkable possibility of forgiveness for his brutality earlier. _I trust you. _He had done nothing to earn that trust in his own estimation, but it meant the world to him.

Zero was right again. Time was too precious a commodity to be wasted. Gently, hesitantly, Kaname let his head drop and burrowed his face against the side of Zero's wet neck.

Zero closed his eyes, desperately willing himself to be still and relaxed, to not tense up as he felt the slightly shaking breath brush his neck. Kaname would sense it, and he was trying to make this easier for them both. Kaname had bitten him sensually and tenderly many, many times, it wasn't fair that the one time he hadn't was what kept playing in Zero's mind, but Zero's old scars in that regard ran deep and had been painfully reawakened.

Despite the urgency of their situation, Kaname took the moment necessary to tenderly lick and suck his lover's pale neck lightly in preparation. He kissed the wet skin, feeling all the tension Zero was trying so hard to hide from him. He paused for a full heartbeat, his lips just lingering on Zero's throat, waiting to see if he would relax. Kaname didn't care what was at stake. He'd just tough it out if he had to. He would _not _bite Zero when he was this tense.

The gentle, familiar feeling of Kaname's hot mouth on his cold skin calmed the shivers tracing goose bumps under the ex-human's skin, and as Kaname lingered tenderly, the pureblood's cheek brushing his jaw, his wet hair brushing his cheek and shoulder... Zero felt himself relaxing. Felt warmth replacing apprehension and desire replacing fear. Yes... this was the touch he knew and had come to accept. It was amazing how quickly hesitancy could turn into anticipation. _Wanting _the bite now rather than dreading it, Zero groaned ever so slightly in his throat, his fingers curling in Kaname's hair as he cupped his head. It was what Kaname had needed to hear.

With extreme gentleness, he slid his fangs into Zero's skin, licking and caressing as he sucked. It was more like being kissed than being bitten, and Zero sucked in a slow, quavering breath, holding onto the pureblood.

The contact was necessarily brief. Kaname didn't want to have to drink fast, but he didn't have a choice. He didn't take much, however, so there was no strain on Zero's body from the rapidity of the few draughts he did take. It was just enough to make Zero's toes almost curl from the delightful _rush _of it. While the ex-human was still trying to catch his breath and remind himself that there was something very important they needed to be doing, Kaname licked the wound to his neck closed and quickly turned him around in his arms, clasping his hands tight around Zero's chest.

Before Zero knew what was happening, they were airborne. Kaname pushed himself to cross the river as swiftly as possible. Interacting with the churning surface of the water in order to 'hover' across it was hard work, although not as hard as what he'd done before. Strengthened by the little bit of Zero's blood he'd taken, it wasn't _as _much torture as he'd been afraid it would be. That is to say, he wasn't actually in danger of dropping them both _into _the water by accident and when he and Zero stumbled to a jarring, ungraceful stop on the opposite bank, he was merely shaking again instead of being about to pass out.

Kaname had the mother of all headaches. As much as he wanted to keep holding onto Zero for strength, he released the hunter quickly once they were both safely on their feet, both out of the necessity to hurry, and because he didn't want the other vampire to feel the renewed tremble in his body. He'd already taken what he dared from Zero, who was far wearier and more drained than he was letting on. Anymore and he'd risk seriously weakening him. Considering the possibility of danger ahead, that was simply not an option. His body would bounce back far better than the hunter's.

Zero winced as they stumbled to a landing. The impact jarred through him and he almost fell to his knees except for Kaname's strong arms around him. He struggled to keep his balance when he was released. He was dizzy from the rapid transit... and the recent blood loss, although he wasn't about to let on to that fact since Kaname had been so very reluctant to take from him. He managed to move quickly nonetheless, snatching up his shoes as the pureblood grabbed up his own and his leather overcoat. Fortunately, the car keys were in the overcoat pocket and had not made the trip into the river. In a matter of moments both of them were back to the road and inside the car, screeching away down the wet highway at speeds only safe for vampire drivers.

Angling the wheel tightly, Kaname turned the car off the main thoroughfare and onto a back road which ran closer to the river, and where they would encounter less traffic. The dam wasn't far at the speed they were going. It was not near the road, but there was a zigzag switchback which would give them a distant view of it. Distant was just fine for their eyesight. Kaname pressed on the brakes sharply and Zero grabbed the dash to keep from being thrown forward. Both vampires peered through the sheeting rain towards the small shape of the normally unimposing looking wall of concrete built in amongst the hills.

The dam had been built years ago both for hydro power, and to control the occasional seasonal flooding of the river, ensuring the peace of the lower lying towns. Ironic that now, it should be the very thing to threaten them. Mandatory evacuation for the most endangered areas had already been issued and widely heeded. The workers at the last levee directly protecting the town... those were the ones in the gravest danger should that concrete bulwark fail.

Zero squinted, trying to see through the rain. His eyes weren't as keen as Kaname's, but he could see the dam, and the churning flow of white water blasting from spillway channels cut on either side below it. Obviously, the dam's floodgates had been thrown fully open in an attempt to relieve the pressure caused by the rising river. The flash flood wave must have already hit the dam because Zero thought he could actually see water spilling over the _top _of the reservoir and running down the face of it. That could _not _be good...

Even as they watched, the two vampires saw a third sudden, small spout of water join the two already rushing from the runoff channels. This one was coming from the wall of the dam itself, where it met the rock it was built into on the right side, near the top. The gush of water grew quickly larger.

Kaname slammed on the accelerator again, throwing Zero back against the seat behind him and making the ex-human grip the seat arm with white knuckles as they sped on downstream. They had just witnessed the beginning of the end for the dam and they both knew it. There was no way it could stand up to the pressure it was under. Once the first leak started, the force of the water would do the rest. It was only a matter of time now before it gave completely. They could only hope it would hold long enough for the levee workers downstream to evacuate.

\--------------------------------------

Takuma hefted a sand bag and tossed it to Kain. Kain tossed it to Aido, who was standing on top of the man-made dike of sand bags and earth, laying the bags in place. This same procedure was being repeated up and down the levee as the gathered volunteers worked to hold back the river. Takuma had the sinking feeling it was a losing battle in the end, but no one here seemed ready to give up. So they simply pressed on.

Takuma had to move out of the way as several other people hurried over to grab some of the stacked sacks before moving off again.

"Come on, slow pokes... I'm bored up here," Aido called down in a mixture of taunting and grumpiness at the delay in the process. The blonde was soaked to the skin despite the rain slicker he was wearing, they all were. It was not improving his mood in the least, nor was the dirty, draining task upon which they had been working for some time now. But he didn't complain... much.

Kain bypassed Takuma and grabbed two of the wet sandbags, throwing them up swiftly, one after the other. Aido caught one but the second hit him in the chest, knocking him on his backside. "HEY!"

Nearby, Toshi shot them a glare. "Cut it out," he mouthed silently. Takuma glanced over towards where a couple of the day class girls were struggling to lift just _one_ of the bags together, one holding each end. The bags weren't light and it probably wasn't a good idea for the vampires to be throwing them around like they were pillows. But no one had seen and Takuma knew that Kain and Aido were just blowing off steam. He wasn't worried about them. Some of the others, the ones he knew less well, were more of a concern to him. Calling another vampire over to take his spot in the line, Takuma stepped across and helped the girls lift their bag. They smiled at him with appreciation and admiration, giggling together after he helped them hoist it into place with a friendly nod and a smile. Then he moved on to make the rounds and check in on everyone. Kaname had left him in charge and he took that very seriously.

\--------------------------------------

Zero had a few moments of wondering if he was going to live long enough to worry about whether they would reach the others in time. It wasn't to say that he didn't trust Kaname's reflexes, but he had less faith in the car and the pureblood was driving like a street racer on speed, in the middle of a sheeting storm. In places the road was under several feet of water and the car knifed through it, throwing up white sheets of water on either side. Zero could feel the vehicle hydroplaning, skidding on momentum more than actual traction now as they came up upon a sharp turn.

The ex-human couldn't help pressing himself back in his seat as it looked very much like they would spin out of control. Kaname braked sharply at the last minute and yanked the wheel in the opposite direction, throwing the car sideways and let it take the curve drifting style.

The road only took them so far in a straight line, however. Another curve came into view, once more angling them away from the river and the direction they wanted to be heading. Kaname applied the brakes again, but this time he brought them to a sharp stop, turning the car off and reaching for the door handle. "The road will take us too far out of the way. We're better on foot from here," he said quickly. He left his coat in the car, he was already wet through and it would only slow him down.

Zero felt like the world was still moving as he followed the pureblood out of the car. "Kaname, I am _never _riding in the car with you again…" he muttered, wondering around which turn back there he'd left his stomach. He was actually rather glad to be taking it on foot from here, despite the way his muscles, still aching from their earlier battle with the river, were protesting.

Kaname merely flashed him a brief, wry grin before disappearing. Gathering his strength, Zero disappeared after him, both of them running at full vampire speed.

The way was not unobstructed, and it was an even more soaked soiled duo that finally paused on the hill overlooking the levee. If Kaname had had time, he would have smiled at the leaves clinging to the hunter's wet and wildly mussed silver hair. Of course, his own looked no better.

The river thundered down the hill beside them, bottlenecking to a deep, forceful rush of white water as the narrowness of its channel here made it both thinner and more destructive before it rapidly spread out upon its downhill journey. The swollenness of the river from this vantage was obvious. It had already claimed much of the banks on either side. The left side of the waterway was being kept from spreading even further only by a long, snaking rise of earth, topped by layers upon layers of sandbags. Small figures bustled around the levee below, looking like ants from this vantage point.

A deep, now familiar rumble filled their ears and shook the earth. This time, the two vampires knew what that sound meant with sickening certainty. The dam had given way, unleashing the fury of the river. They were so close and yet… they were still too late.

Looking back upstream, the pureblood and the ex-human could see the far distant, yet all too rapidly approaching shape of the floodwaters racing down the river, tall as a building, and dark as death.

"Get out! Get out of there! The dam's burst! Get out!" Zero shouted at the people below, although it was unlikely most of them could see the two distant figures, much less hear them.

_Most_ was not _all _however, and Kaname knew that with vampires in the mix, those shouts would not go unheard. "Takuma!" he shouted above the roar of wind and water, hoping their voices would carry enough despite the roar of the river. "Get everyone clear, get them higher ground!"

Yet both of them knew... even if they were heard, that warning was coming too late. There would be no time to evacuate before the wave hit.

\--------------------------------------

Aido frowned and glanced towards Kain. "Hey... did you just hear Kiriyu? Because I could swear..." both cousins' faces paled as they suddenly caught the words.

Wide-eyed, Aido looked down and realized the sandbags beneath his feet had started to tremble as the ground rumbled with the approaching flood. His and Kain's eyes locked. "Oh crap!"

On the other side of the area, Takuma jerked upright from where he was working as first Zero, and then Kaname's voice came to his sharp hearing in gusts and whispers on the wind. His gaze shot up river. From this vantage point, he couldn't see the approaching disaster, but he could just see the two small figures standing on the hill.

He didn't need the absolute command in Kaname's voice to spur him to action. He understood what the pureblood was saying. _Get them clear, anyway you have to, we can pick up the pieces later. _

"The dam burst!" he shouted, loudly but calmly. He didn't want to start a panic, although he knew he would. "Evacuate! Everyone to the cars, _now!_" Many of the other vampire nobles had also heard the warning, and picked up Takuma's cry, spreading the news like wild fire across the levee.

There was a moment of confusion, then chaos set in. The drained, keyed up volunteers did not question the warning now echoing around them. Everyone dropped what they were doing and started rushing for the distant lines of trucks, buses, cars and emergency vehicles that had brought them here. At a signal from Takuma, the Night Class took over crowd control, aiding the few professional servicemen who had been guiding the volunteer effort and were now desperately trying to keep people from trampling one another.

_Not fast enough... _Takuma knew they were not moving fast enough. If the dam had already broken, they barely had minutes. Seconds maybe. "Get them to the vehicles, now!" he called to his fellow vampires.

Aido and Kain, who had jumped off the levee and joined the others by now, looked at Takuma in grim shock for a moment, but they and the others understood. Suddenly the vampires disappeared, blurring into motion. Other people started disappearing too as the inhumanly fast moving vamps grabbed them and carried them to the waiting vehicles, depositing them deeply freaked but unharmed in the backs of trucks or beside buses and cars darting back for more.

Mass memory alteration was going to be necessary later... but they would only have to worry about that if everyone survived... which would require a small miracle. Because even aided by vampire speed, there was simply no way they were going to get all these people out of here in time.

\--------------------------------------

Zero and Kaname saw chaos break out below and it was clear that they had been heard. Takuma and the others were doing all they could to get everyone to safety. Time seemed to slow, although in reality the ex-human and the pureblood were simply still moving and processing at higher than average speed.

Kaname knew he and Zero had to get out of here too, but his gaze swiveled between the approaching water and the small figures below, unwelcome despair and failure clutching at the back of his chest. So many familiar faces down there… most of the Night Class would probably survive. _Maybe. Hopefully. _But none of the humans would. _Damn it! _He shouldn't have been so weak, he should have gotten here faster… somehow…

Zero felt sick. _Oh God no… we can't be too late, not __**now… **_He couldn't just stand here and watch all those people be washed away. He _couldn't. _His gaze turned upon Kaname. _There has to be something we can do. _

"Kaname..."

Kaname looked at Zero, his gut twisting. _What? What did Zero expect him to do? _He couldn't hold back that whole wave, not even if he wasn't already weary. His mind raced, searching for options. If Ruka were here, he might have attempted a power-bridge with her, where two or more vampires of similar gifts pooled their abilities for greater effect. Her control of air was similar enough to his ability on a basic level that they could have at least tried, although there was no telling how successful it would or would not have been. But…

Kaname froze, his eyes still fixed on Zero. _Two or more vampires with similar gifts… _Zero's power derived from the pureblood's, you couldn't get much more similar than that. But Zero wasn't strong enough and he didn't remotely have enough control… _unless…_ But it was dangerous. So dangerous… if Zero wasn't able to handle it, he could end up permanently damaged. Kaname couldn't risk it. He couldn't…

Kaname shook his head. "Zero... I can't..."

Zero saw the anguished emotions darting through the pureblood's normally guarded eyes. _I can't do this alone, _they said, as clear as words. Zero knew that, he hadn't meant to make Kaname feel like he expected him to be able to fix this. The pureblood's power only went so far and Kaname was obviously still regaining his strength from before. The fact that the healing cut down the side of the pureblood's face was still visible was proof of that.

The ex-human felt horribly helpless. If only there was something he could do, he hated being so _useless_... his gaze suddenly hardened and locked on Kaname with new purpose. _Kaname couldn't do it **alone**... and he shouldn't have to._ Words would take too long. He grabbed Kaname's hand, seeking the mental connection they'd shared for a brief moment before when they were in the water. Thought could travel instantly.

_"Kaname, if you could use my strength too, would it help?" _he asked urgently. He'd felt Kaname control the power in his body before, that time back in the pureblood's bedroom with the shoe. Zero really didn't know how all this worked, but he was desperate, and maybe, if Kaname just needed more raw power or energy to work with... couldn't he provide that? Zero was willing to be a living "battery pack" if it would help Kaname... if it would give those people down there a chance.

Kaname was surprised to find Zero suddenly inside his head like this. Under normal circumstances it might have been worrisome that he was apparently so open to the hunter that Zero could breach his mental defenses without even having to know that he was doing so. Right now, however, the thought barely even crossed his mind.

_"No. There's nothing we can do. We have to get out of here, Zero." _the pureblood's answer was quick and firm... too quick. Zero could tell Kaname was hiding something from him. There _was _something they could do... but the pureblood didn't want to tell him.

_"Kaname... please... don't let those people die if we can stop it. If there's something I can do I want to do it!" _he pleaded earnestly.

Kaname held Zero's silver eyes for what seemed an eternity, but was in reality barely a quarter of an instant. Yes... he knew that. That's why he didn't want to tell Zero, because he _knew _the hunter would do it, to hell with the possible consequences to himself. Kaname did not take Zero's life and his health so lightly, not even stacked against the 'greater good'. But neither could the pureblood resist the other's earnest desperation. The hunter's damn heart... hadn't Kaname thought not long ago, that this was both what endeared him to and terrified him for Zero? Why couldn't the ex-human ever just save himself? They'd done all they could be reasonably expected to do...

Yet the truth was, Kaname's heart mirrored the hunter's. He didn't want to walk away either. It was part of who he was, but Zero also brought it out in him stronger. Even though their 'conversation' was taking less than seconds, the flood was still thundering nearer. If they were going to act, it had to be now.

_"There is a way, but it's risky, Zero, and I don't know if it will work," _Kaname admitted in wordless rush, letting his concern and fear impress itself upon the other's consciousness. _"Are you sure you want to do __this?" _There wasn't time to try to explain what _this _was, but he knew Zero would have clearly gotten his warning at least.

As predicted... it didn't matter, the hunter had said _yes _even before Kaname's thought had finished forming. The pureblood closed his eyes, swallowing hard. "Then trust me... and forgive me..."he whispered, aloud this time. His hand swiftly slid up to Zero's neck, his palm covering the blood seal behind the other's ear.

Zero's body jerked and went ridged as hot, tingling warmth speared into his body from Kaname's palm, channeling through the seal that connected them. It was like the moment that Kaname had placed the seal on him, only about a million times more intense. It was incredible, actually, as raw vampire power flooded his body in unimaginable waves. But it was painful too as the rush overloaded his senses and his nerve endings, making them burn and tingle, wreaking havoc with his synapses as they were forced to work overtime. He literally forgot how to breathe and his lungs stopped working. Kaname was pouring power into his body like electricity into a conduit that was only partially built to support this kind of charge.

Kaname could feel Zero's body struggling to adapt and it hurt him deeply, but the die had been cast and there was no turning back now. To create a power-bridge with Zero and truly be able to utilize the potential of the hunter's strength, Zero needed to have more power. The ex-human was very strong, but he wasn't a noble. In order to bridge with him, Kaname had to bring them both to more equal levels. So he forced his own strength into the other vampire, flooding it into the blood seal which then held it bound to him. Of course, by so doing, Kaname was weakening himself, passing off a huge chunk of himself that he would have no direct access to anymore once it was bound to Zero. But it was necessary for them to be more balanced for this to work, and it was only temporary. If all went well, they could release the seal as soon as this was over.

Reaching into Zero's body, Kaname reminded his lungs how to work, willing them to move again, willing his heart to keep beating. Slowly, his body seemed to remember and get the idea. Zero's knees buckled and Kaname caught him, holding him against his chest and removing his hand from the seal. He kissed the reddened skin behind Zero's ear tenderly, whispering a soft apology against his neck. Zero couldn't seem to remember how to speak, but their minds were firmly entwined now and Kaname felt his lover's shaky assurance that he was all right. Freaked to hell and back, but all right.

He wasn't all right, of course. Neither of them was. Kaname felt uncomfortably drained and empty, and Zero was obviously feeling like he was overflowing as much as the river. But there was no time. No time but to act. Kaname needed for them to be on opposite sides of the river for this to work best. He had not strength to spare for levitating now, but the river was narrow here...

Zero understood what Kaname was going to do, thoughts and intentions traveling seamlessly between them now as if they were thinking with one mind. He braced for it as the pureblood lifted him and propelled him across the river. He didn't exactly _throw _him, but it was a somewhat more controlled version of the same thing. Kaname was trying hard to be gentle and careful, but he was now running at quite a low ebb.

Zero hit the ground hard. He landed on his feet, but couldn't hold them, rolling to his knees and then his side, before attempting to struggle awkwardly back upright again. _Oh God... _he could barely move. If it was pain though, it was beautiful pain. He felt like he was over the moon, like he could stop the very earth from spinning if he tried... but getting his muscles to obey his brain so he could get to his feet was a different matter. Despite himself... he was also frightened. His body felt alien to him and his hunter senses were screaming bloody murder at the massive vampire energy wreaking havoc with his systems as it tried to integrate enough to be functional. He felt very alone now, on this side of the river.

Kaname was trying not to shiver in the suddenly bitter coldness of the driving rain. He felt like he was sheeted in ice. He felt so hideously vulnerable. He'd never given away this much of himself before. He had no choice, but under normal circumstances, it would have been the most foolish thing he could ever have done. There was no way for him to retrieve what he had given away unless Zero released it. How many vampires, if once securing this much of a pureblood's power, would actually be willing or stupid enough to give it back? Very few. Yet Kaname wasn't even worried about that. If he had to cut out a piece of himself, he knew there was nowhere safer to lay it than in the hunter's hands.

The way they were now connected, he didn't even have to reach out to touch Zero's body and mind, they were simply _there _like his own. Carefully, he 'tugged' Zero back to his feet.

Zero was confused, his head was pounding, but he felt Kaname's touch like a physical presence, pulling him up, mental arms wrapping around his body and holding him close as the pureblood turned him back towards the river and lifted his hands. He didn't feel alone now, and suddenly he was no longer afraid. Zero knew his own grasp of his fledgling powers was nowhere near adequate, but Kaname's was. This was a huge step of faith, a huge concession from one who had barely a few hours before been terrified of losing himself to the pureblood on the opposite shore. Somehow though, none of that mattered at this moment and with conscious effort, Zero released himself to Kaname's will, letting the pureblood control him.

Kaname faced Zero from across the raging river. He was calm now, focused as he held out his hands in a mirror of Zero's, as if they were holding an invisible pane of glass between them. A soft, shimmer began to grow in the air, warping and distorted like heat waves.

Zero didn't know how, but he simply _understood _what Kaname was doing. _It's too hard to try to hold back the actual water itself, even for the two of us together. But if we can compress the air into a tension field and blast it back against the water... it might buy us the time we need. _

Kaname had not had time to do that with the river earlier, he wasn't sure they had enough time to prepare it even now, but it was their only chance. The air solidified, warped, bunched... molecules crowding and packing together much more tightly than they were ever supposed to naturally achieve... and then the wave was on them.

The water crashed into their field and Kaname staggered a step backwards, his teeth gritting in agonized strain and concentration as he held onto the compressed air shield, blasting it back hard against the river, like a wall of water meeting a wall of wind. This was easier than controlling the water itself, but only by a little. There were still a staggering amount of variables to keep track of, and the pureblood struggled to calculate and control for both he and Zero, using the hunter's body as an extension of himself, drawing on his lover's strength.

There was more strength there than he had expected. He knew Zero was strong of spirit and heart, but the raw strength of will and inner reserves that the hunter was consciously throwing into their fight with the water was still a surprise to him, as well as a deeply unexpected blessing in this situation. Still, the pureblood was swiftly being pushed once more to his limits. Blood pounded in his ears and he could feel it starting to trickle down his face again, could feel the intense strain starting to physically tear into his weakened and weakening body.

The water pummeled their shield like surf hitting a seawall, shooting up into the air in a small geyser as its rapid forward motion was checked, water and debris piling higher and higher as it backed up behind the obstruction. Quickly, the water sought alternate routes downhill, spreading around the wide blockage in its path, trying to find the edges of the force field. With an agonized shudder, Kaname stretched to keep extending the field against the searching rush of water. Ever muscle and nerve in his body burned but he held his ground. They had to hold the river here as long as possible.

Zero could feel Kaname wearing out rapidly through their connection, although the pureblood's power still pulsed fierce and determined in his senses. Narrowing his eyes, Zero pushed himself forward, more actively into his own consciousness again. He'd unconsciously retreated to let Kaname have his way, but he couldn't let the pureblood fight alone. He could see now, what Kaname was doing, how the pureblood was using and controlling the power flowing out of both of their bodies. With their minds so intertwined it wasn't hard to tap into that knowledge.

Moving back to the fore of his consciousness meant being hit with a slamming wall of pain as Zero became aware of the intense, shredding strain his own body was also being placed under. The ex-human was used to fighting pain, however. He'd fought the agony of becoming a vampire for four years... he could fight this too, and he _would. _With determined will, he forced himself to reach out and take some of the load from the weakening pureblood. Calculating, controlling the power, forcing it outward, channeling it through his body... Zero would never have believed he could do it, but he was.

Kaname could have cried in relief as Zero unexpectedly grasped his mental hand and threw himself into the fray, doing his best to help focus the power flowing through him and take some of the additional strain off of the pureblood. They were both pushing themselves too hard, throwing everything they had into the wavering shield of air as they fought to hold back the rage of nature for as long as possible.

_Hurry... hurry... _Kaname silently bid the others below as he felt the wind starting to slow and the air slowly starting to slip out of his and Zero's grasp. _We can't hold this much longer. _

\--------------------------------------

Aido dumped the two human girls he was carrying over his shoulder next to the entrance to a rapidly filling bus before darting back for more. Full vehicles were already speeding away through the slick mud as fast as they could, seeking the highway and the path back to higher ground.

Panic brought out the best and worst in people, and while most pulled together, some simply freaked out. Kain saw a man trying to drive his pickup truck away by himself and vaulted over the truck to land in front, clapping a hand on the hood and pushing back to stop its forward motion, although being careful not to do serious damage to the vehicle or driver. "Wait!" he snapped. "You can fit more people in there, take some of them with you!"

Shiki and Rima appeared with several of the hunters and some other random people from town in tow and deposited them in the back of the truck. Several others ran over under their own power and the driver, apparently chagrined back to his senses, quickly opened the passenger door of the cab for them, urging them to hurry before slamming on the accelerator again and speeding away.

Takuma appeared a moment later, depositing several people by the few remaining parked cars. His gaze caught on the others. "Senri, Rima, get Ruka and be on the next ride out," he ordered. They'd been dispersing at least one vampire student with every larger group of humans as much as possible, but time was wearing thin and Takuma stepped things up.

Shiki balked visibly at being sent away to safety... not sure if he was comfortable with the possible reason he had been chosen first.

Takuma's gaze was unusually unyielding. "Go!" he repeated firmly. Yes... he couldn't deny he was sending Shiki away because he didn't want to risk him to get hurt. But some of them _had _to go. He was in charge and it was his call to make. "I need you to help keep track of everyone who's leaving. We're going to have to deal with their memories, I'm putting you and Rima in charge of that, you understand? Now go!"

Shiki finally nodded slowly. Maybe the truth was... he didn't want to leave Takuma behind here. Rima nodded with much more decisiveness, understanding the importance of their mission. She grabbed her friend by the arm, hurrying Shiki off with her to find Ruka.

Aido quickly surveyed the area. Most everyone was out of the levee area proper now, crowded around the cars, a mini-traffic jam ensuing as everyone tried to leave at once. He glanced quickly back towards the river... and froze. His heart jumped up into his throat.

Up on the hill above them, a wall of water several stories high raged and crashed like the ocean against an invisible, shimmering wall that was stretched across its path. Two small figures stood on either side of the river, palms out flung, supporting the shimmering dam with nothing but their bare hands and their determined wills.

_Oh my God..._

It was an unbelievable, bone-chilling and awe-inspiring sight that both moved and frightened him to the core of his being.

Kaname and... and... _Zero_ of all people... were holding back the river for them, buying them time to escape.

For half a second he couldn't move, entranced by the sheer display of pureblood power. But it wasn't just pureblood, was it? That made it even more amazing. He hadn't even known Kiriyu had any abilities, much less that they were similar enough and strong enough for Kaname to bridge with him. There was little time for wonder though. Aido's love of science made him more aware than most how difficult a task it was that the pureblood and the ex-human were tackling.

The blonde pushed himself to move even faster, trying to propel the fleeing volunteers with the force of the sheer urgency that was suddenly twisting inside him.

\--------------------------------------

Grey spots danced in front of Zero's eyes. Rain burned his skin like driving needles, his sensory input all severely messed up and skewed. He felt like his mind was literally burning up, neural pathways shorting and fizzling from the overload of both effort and power that his body had not been designed to channel in such quantities. It hurt, badly. He couldn't think anymore, his mind slowing and faltering. He felt like he was spinning on the edge of a great vortex, being sucked towards the oblivion in the center.

Cold horror washed through the hot agony in Kaname's own mind as he felt Zero's light starting to flicker. _No! _The pureblood reached out for him, desperately.

Zero felt a familiar presence grab him, yanking him back from the swirling grayness. With what little strength he had left, Kaname was trying to push him back, trying to shut down the wildly firing pathways in his mind and slow the rush of power through him before the ex-human's mind and body simply burned out. The pureblood sucked the flow more through himself instead, trying to channel more of his and Zero's combined energy that way to spare the other's less resilient frame. Kaname convulsed involuntarily, locking his knees to keep his feet as his failing strength nearly snapped under the effort, his head burning with pain.

Zero could tell what Kaname was doing and fought harder against the agonizing razors carving up his mind, focusing with whatever he had left, wanting to keep the pureblood from taking everything back on himself. But they had both hit the end. Even vampire bodies could only sustain so much strain.

For a heartbeat, their gazes locked as they stood on opposite banks. Kaname could see blood streaking Zero's face from nose, ears and eyes. He knew he looked the same, but his heart bled too. He hadn't wanted to do this to Zero, he should have been strong enough to manage alone...

The faint brush of Zero's aching mind stilled those thoughts. _You don't have to do everything yourself, idiot. You're not alone. _Such simple words, yet they hit so very deep, and somehow, it went both ways.

Somewhere dimly in the back of his senses, Kaname was aware that the sense of people behind them had dwindled, the distant sound of shouts and roaring vehicles fading, like his dimming eyesight. He and Zero had done well. They had done all they could. They should get out now, should run like hell to escape before the water swallowed them too... but they had held on a little too long for that.

Gazes still locked, the pureblood and the ex-human silently let their minds touch one more time, with the shared understanding of what was about to happen.

Like a rope slipping from numb fingers, the tension in the air between them went slack. Zero felt a moment of blessed nothingness as the power simply stopped flowing, his unresponsive body ridged and wavering. Kaname slid soundlessly to his knees, his strength completely gone... and the water took them both.

\--------------------------------------

"Ruka! What are you still doing here, Ichijo told you to leave with the others!" Kain actually looked irate for once... or was that frightened? Most everyone was away now, or at least on their way as the last few cars and busses struggled to slog their way out through the churned up mud and rain. Takuma, Kain and Aido had remained to the last, intending to use their own natural speed to catch up with the other evacuees once everyone was away.

"Shut up, Akatsuki," Ruka snapped back, her long hair wet and clinging to her pretty face under the hood of her uncharacteristically mud-splashed rain coat. "I wasn't going to leave you behind! You and Hanabusa," she quickly amended, although not _quite _quickly enough. She hadn't realized just how much the idea of losing those two idiots... especially this particular tall, kind, auburn-haired idiot, cut her to the quick until she'd found herself unable to get in that van with Shiki and Rima. Until she found herself choking with fear at the mere thought of the possibility of never seeing Kain again.

"Lover's quarrel later, let's move!" Takuma called to them, indicating the time had come for them to make their own retreat now.

Kain and Ruka looked at each other with huge eyes for a moment at the VP's choice of words. _Lover's quarrel? Surely not! Only... only... _

"No! We can't leave!" Aido shouted adamantly above the wind, pointing upstream. "Kaname! Zero! we've..."

As the other three followed Aido's gaze, they suddenly saw the shimmering field stretched between the two vampires on the hill waver, flicker... fluctuate wildly... and then vanish. The released water tumbled forward, the top moving faster than the bottom as gravity and its own restrained momentum carried it forward like a massive tidal wave.

For half a horrible second, they saw Kaname and Zero's distant figures standing at the base of the wave, and then they were gone. Utterly engulfed in the dark water as it crashed down, they vanished from view, swallowed by the flood wave rushing down the hill towards the four horrified vampire nobles.


	21. In a Sea of Night

**Chapter Twenty-One: "In a Sea of Night" **

Darkness. Light. Darkness... a rushing roar pounding in his ears. A hundred fists pounding his body with watery knuckles. The force of it pushed the air from his lungs. But there wasn't any more air to be found. Just choking oblivion.

Zero surfaced, thrown up by the force of the water more than by any attempt of his own. His limbs were still hardly working and the current was brutal. He gasped automatically for air. Dark water was everywhere, rushing, tumbling. He saw something that looked like Kaname's dark head bob up a few feet away, but then it was gone again, and the water sucked him back under into a sea of dense, silt-filled water as dark as night, through which even his vampire eyes could see almost nothing. The river rushed forcefully into his mouth and nose, trying to suffocate him.

Kaname did not know what way was up. The water engulfed him, spinning him around weightlessly in its grip. When the wave had hit, it was like a wall of bricks falling on them. He felt stunned and disorientated and deeply, completely drained. He had no strength to even fight for the surface. Some hard, sharp object slammed into his side as the flood rushed them along and he grimaced in pain. Half a second later, something else hit him, much larger and more dangerous. The flood water threw him against an uprooted tree that was similarly being carried along inside its deadly clutches. The broken tree limbs scratched and clawed at the pureblood like living things as the tree rolled in the water, tangling and ensnaring him in its branches.

Kaname kicked and struggled against the snarl, but he had no leverage and he was so weak, his struggles did little. Everything was dark, heavy, rushing weightlessness. The tree simply rolled with him, rolling over him, dragging him around, tangling him deeper. The pureblood still had no sense of direction, no idea what way the surface lay. His tortured lungs burned for air and his head swam. Normally, Kaname could hold his breath and stay under water for a very long time without problem, but there was nothing normal about his current state. He was drained, and lacking a good portion of his strength. He was frighteningly vulnerable, and as the pressure in his chest built to critical he felt an unfamiliar panic clawing at the back of his mind.

_No. __**Focus**__. Panicking will __**not**_ _increase your chances of survival... _

Air. He needed air... he had to get to the surface... He thrashed and struggled harder, but that only made his lungs burn more painfully, flashes of light beginning to pop and explode behind his wavering vision. He was trapped, and he had not the strength to struggle free against the current. Kaname realized with numb shock that he was drowning. It was a pathetic way for a pureblood to die. He'd probably be the only one in history to be taken out by something as trite as a natural disaster. The irony was somewhat lost on him at the moment though as his abused body screamed desperately for oxygen, panic suffusing him despite knowing he had to stay calm.

Zero broke the surface again and he choked for air, coughing up water and thrashing with disjointed kicks and strokes to try and keep his head above water. Moving still felt rather like trying to manipulate a marionette. He pulled the strings, but his limbs jerked in response a few moments later, and sometimes in unexpected ways. He was both drained and yet too full at the same time as his body continued struggling to process the power Kaname had stored in him. His mind felt like it had been dragged across sharp coral and his body was still reeling from the strain of what he had done. Even as he struggled though, his motions were starting to become more coherent and controlled again. As luck would have it, the two factors that would normally disable him on their own, were working together to momentarily offer him some stability. The fact that so much of the power in him had been expended helped cushion the overload he was dealing with, and at the fact that his body was unused to having this much vampire power to begin with meant that he was recharging and healing faster than normal. It was a false sense of strength; a fake adrenaline high caused by his body's overloaded and mixed up inner circuitry, but right now it gave him the ability to keep struggling back to the surface as current after current tried to drag him down.

It was ironic, really. For so long he'd felt like he was literally the walking dead in every way that truly mattered. Twice now, he had seriously considered ending his life in water. Now... he was fighting that very thing in a desperate attempt to stay alive. Because... Zero realized suddenly... he very much _wanted _to live. He didn't just not want to die, he wantedto _live_. There were people he didn't want to not see again. There were people who might care if he didn't come back. And there was one person in particular for whom Zero wanted very much to survive.

_No, damn it! This is not my time! I'm not going! _He shouted in mental defiance against the river as it pulled him down again with cold, clammy fingers. A sandbag shot by him in the current, clipping his elbow and making his arm and fingers tingle numbly, but he continued to struggle until he could break the surface yet again.

He looked around, trying to find Kaname, but he couldn't see him. He couldn't see anything but the rushing water and the vague impression of the grey landscape blurring past. He unconsciously stretched out mentally. They had been so joined a few moments ago that it was simply instinctive. Zero slammed into a wall of dark panic that iced immediately through his body.

Kaname was in trouble. He was drowning. Zero didn't know where he was, but he could feel the other vampire's fear. Panic clutching at his own heart now; the ex-human floundered as he tried to get his bearings. He dove under the dark water, straining to see, straining to find a pureblood needle in a very wet haystack.

Kaname felt his forward motion brutally checked with a bone-crunching jar as he and the tree slammed up against something hard and immovable under the water. He couldn't know it, but he'd hit the side of the now submerged levee. The ruthless current forced him down into the depths, almost to the very bottom as it swirled and churned, leaping its banks and flowing well over the former barrier.

Zero hit something under the water, hard. He almost cried out and very narrowly kept himself from inhaling a lungful of water in the process. He couldn't see what the current had pushed him against, but it felt strange and plastic under his hands... bags? Sand bags? The levee, perhaps? He didn't know, but whatever it was had checked his forward motion and he clung to it, unwilling to surface despite the ache in his lungs because he knew if he let go he'd be ripped forward again. And something... something was telling him he needed to go _down. _

It was his hunter senses, picking up on the presence of a vampire nearby, but Zero hardly had time to realize that. He simply went with his instincts and dived. Deeper... deeper...

Kaname found that everything had suddenly gone very calm. The water still battered and punched at him, but the awareness of it was fading. A strange, hazy lead filled his mind, blanketing his fear as consciousness started to waver and fail. He knew he was dying, but there wasn't anything he could do. The pressure and the pain were unbearable. He couldn't hold his breath anymore. The force of the river stripped it from him and he felt the dark water start to flood into him.

Suddenly there was a flash of silver before his dimming eyes. He felt something soft digging into his arms and shoulders, tearing at his shirt and grasping at him. It was neither the river nor the tree. The wavering smears of color before his eyes coalesced into a face... a familiar face. It was Zero. Strengthened by a faint ray of hope, Kaname struggled to hold on a little longer, struggled to keep the water out. His hands fumbled, scrabbling numbly against Zero's arms as the hunter tried to pull him free of the tangle of tree limbs.

Zero's lungs burned, but he dare not let go or give into his growing desperation for air. The sheer weakness he could feel in Kaname's grip was terrifying. Through the swirling darkness, he could just see the pureblood's face a few inches from his own, and he could see he didn't have much time. Kaname had already been down here far too long.

Desperately, Zero clawed at the tree branches, tugging at Kaname and trying to keep from getting dragged away from him by the current. _Please... help me... give me strength... _Zero silently begged anyone who might be listening, fingers slipping and sliding in the water as he struggled to hold onto Kaname.

Zero's desperate motions made the tree shift a little. The current caught at it, rotating the tree and slamming both Zero and Kaname painfully into the side of the levee... but at the same time, it also tore the pureblood free. Suddenly weightless again, Zero struggled to hold to Kaname's shirt as he clawed for the surface, or what he hoped was the surface.

A dark head and a silver head broke clear of the churning froth, both gasping and choking desperately for air. Zero clung stubbornly to Kaname, pushing him up in the water, trying to keep his chin above the surface even though it caused him to go under himself. Kaname spit up water, gagging and retching urgently even as the rushing flow threatened to pull him back down. He could do little more than hold tight to Zero as the hunter did his best to support him until with ragged heaves he was finally able to start forcing air into his lungs again.

They were free-flowing with the current once more and Zero looked around desperately for some way to get off this wild ride. The river was wide and the current rough. The sides seemed impossibly out of reach in their weakened states. The small burst of energy the hunter had had was fading fast and a frightening deadness was coming over his weary, overstressed limbs as if his body was in danger of simply shutting down. Suddenly, a dark shape loomed menacingly behind them as another uprooted tree, this one partially submerged on the surface of the water, hurtled towards them.

"Look out!" Zero just had time to warn. He tugged the weakened pureblood he was supporting in close against him, turning in the water so that he was protecting Kaname with his body as the thick tree-trunk slammed into them with the force of the river behind it. Zero felt blinding pain shoot through him as the hard trunk glanced off back, the rough bark tearing through his shirt and the broken branches swinging like clubs.

Kaname felt the impact through Zero's body, heard the hunter's soft, agonized cry, before the current and the jar of the impact tore them from each other's grasp and the pureblood was suddenly free floating again in the churning water. He went under, struggled weakly for the surface... made it... only to be sucked down again. When he finally rushed up once more, he looked around desperately for the hunter.

"Zero? ZERO!" he screamed the other's name, water slapping into his mouth and making him choke. His heart was thudding in his chest. There was blood in the rain lashed air, Zero's blood. _Where was he? _"ZERO!"

Finally he saw him, a dirty splash of pale color amidst the floating debris around them. Zero was floating face down, being tugged about by the current like a rag-doll. Kaname struggled towards him, clawing at the water. He was so weak... but somehow, he managed to catch hold of the hunter and turn him over. Zero's eyes were closed, blood seeped from a gash across his temple, even as it continued to be washed away by the river.

"Zero!" Kaname shook him, but he couldn't get a response. Wrapping his arms around the hunter, he held Zero's back to his chest, letting the hunter's head rest on his shoulder, tipped back so as to hopefully keep it as clear of the water as possible. He kicked as rhythmically as his worn, screaming body allowed, fighting only to keep both their heads above water now and to avoid the swirling debris and ruin around them. Other than that, he could do nothing but cling to Zero, holding him protectively as the flood continued to carry them both downstream.

The river was merciless. Debris bobbed, rushed, scraped and jostled around them and the water was freezing cold. Kaname's hands felt numb as they maintained their death grip on Zero. He was so tired. He wanted to pass out. Dangerous grey miasmas danced before his eyes. His whole world narrowed down to the hunter in his arms. Nothing else mattered... nothing else could exist. Only one thought could exist in his raw, drained mind... _never, never let him go._

Hazily, Kaname's mind registered that either he was losing body heat fast, or the temperature of the water was becoming even colder than before. It was also slowing some, making it mildly easier to stay afloat.

As if from a great distance, the pureblood thought he heard voices shouting his name. Several voices. Urgent, almost panicked. The river spun him around so he was facing the same direction as the flow of the water, and he suddenly saw familiar shapes ahead downstream.

A thick wall of ice was forming a partial dam across the rushing stream, channeling the water through a narrow gap. Ice spread away from the dam in sheets on the surface of the river as if it were part of a glacial lake. Chunks and icebergs broke off at regular intervals, whipping away downstream with the rest of the debris, but the ice simply kept re-forming itself. Aido was standing in the shallower part of the frozen river, up to his waist, both hands plunged into the water. It was obvious the ice was his doing.

Ruka stood beside him, also in the water. She was using wind to whip the water up into the air, against Aido's ice dam, enabling him to freeze it in place and keep strengthening the structure.

Kain and Takuma were further out, nearly in the center of the stream. They were on the far end of the ice wall, near the gap where the water was being allowed through. If the water was not allowed to continue flowing, it would have overwhelmed Aido's dam in a matter of moments. The rapidly flowing river was too large, and moving too fast to freeze solid.

Kain had one hand firmly frozen into his cousin's wall of ice, providing them with an anchor. He grasped Takuma's arm tightly with his other hand, so that the two of them formed a living chain. They were battered roughly by the water, but they held their ground, watching carefully as the river rushed Kaname and Zero towards them, predictably funneling the pureblood and the ex-human towards the gap in the dam.

Aido felt like his veins were turning to ice as he let his power flow out of him in larger quantities than he had ever summoned it before. The river and the rain was constantly washing away and destroying his handiwork, so he had to just as constantly rebuild it, making sure it kept a firm hold all the way to the bottom of the riverbed. Any breach would create a dangerous undertow that might very possibly sweep Kaname and Zero under the ice instead of directing them towards the gap where Takuma and Kain waited for them.

He could have forced the ice up into the air by himself, but it was a lot easier with Ruka helping him, and it was easier to maintain the ice with her blowing freezing air across it, creating a forced convection and keeping it cold for as long as possible under the dissolving effects of the current. For once, the two of them worked in perfect tandem. Still concentrating, Ruka laid an unusually gentle and supportive hand on Aido's shoulder. The young blonde was starting to tremble slightly, although he seemed to be concentrating far too deeply to notice. "I see them, Hanabusa," she murmured. "Just keep it up a little longer."

Aido wanted badly to turn and look, but he dare not take his concentration off the ice. He was wearying from this effort and could afford no mistakes now.

Everything that had happened since the horrible moment the four nobles saw Kaname and Zero disappear under the descending wall of water seemed like a disjointed blur. It had only been a few minutes, but it felt like an eternity. They had been forced to run for their lives to keep from being caught in the immediate flow of the flood as the levee was breached. Aido had almost run _towards _the approaching water, but Kain had dragged him away. They would do no good to anyone if they got themselves unnecessarily pummeled or drown.

Even with their speed they were still caught by the edge of the flood and there had been a few uncertain, wet, alarming moments until they had managed to pull clear. The next immediate concern was trying to find Kaname and Zero, who could have been anywhere by that time.

Ruka had spotted them from a distance and shouted, pointing them out to the others at about the moment when Zero had pulled Kaname up to the surface, semi-conscious from being trapped against the levee. For a heartbeat they'd seen the hunter struggling to keep Kaname's head above the water, then they'd lost sight of them again as the pair was continually dunked, getting lost in the ragged sea of debris and black water.

Realizing that following their first instincts and throwing themselves willy-nilly into the water to try and find their floundering friends was hardly the best way to help them, the four vampires had pushed their unnatural speed, outrunning the flood downstream and quickly throwing up this safety net to catch the pureblood and the ex-human when they reached this point.

Kain's hand burned with cold numbness where it was encased in the ice and his arm and shoulder were badly bruised and sprained from the way the current was whipping him back and forth, but he continued holding tightly to Takuma, anchoring the other vampire as the slightly older noble stretched towards where Kaname and Zero were now rapidly hurtling towards them.

Takuma felt like he had so much water in his lungs now he could turn into a fish as he bobbed madly in the current, kept from being swept away only by the mutual death grip that he and Kain had on one another. But his focus was wholly on the figures before him. The current was carrying them farther out towards the center of the gap than he would have liked, and he stretched further, letting his hand slide dangerously down Kain's arm until the two vampires were only clasping each other by the wrists.

Ruka sent a strong blast of wind roaring in from the opposite direction, shoving Kaname and Zero sideways, back into a safer trajectory.

All of this was happening rather fast and for once, Kaname felt that he was moving incredibly slow, processing the events around him with all the speed of a turtle on valium. He barely had time to take in the wall of ice and the figures arrayed around it before the current and the wind felt like it was tearing them in opposite directions, jostling them about. He clung to Zero with all the failing strength that remained in his body, refusing to let the turbulence take him away.

The freezing water was starting to quicken as it dragged them towards the gap in the dam, spinning Kaname around like a top and making his already dizzy head whirl nauseatingly. Suddenly he hit something, something warm and soft. Strong arms wrapped around him tightly, grabbing both he and Zero as Takuma caught them.

Kain strained with all his might to keep from losing his grip on Takuma's hand as Kaname and Zero's weight was suddenly added to that of the other noble. His shoulder wrenched painfully and there was a sickening popping sound as it dislocated, followed by agony. Gritting his teeth, and refusing to give into the pain, he managed to drag all three of them back against the wall of the ice dam, hauling them out of the worst of the current and into the sluggish, more frozen waters.

Aido and Ruka were there now, dripping wet and running lightly across the ice, which Aido extended around them as they moved. They had to be quick. Aido reached for Kaname, trying to pull him out of the water, but the pureblood balked and Aido understood. Quickly changing tactics, he reached for Zero instead, taking the limp ex-human from Kaname's arms and hauling him quickly up onto the ice. Takuma pushed Kaname up onto the ice shelf, scrambling up behind him. Kain used his own flame powers to melt his hand free of the wall. His other arm was all but useless and he floundered for a moment, before Ruka, kneeling dangerously on the edge, quickly grabbed his good arm and helped him up as well.

Then they were all running as the ice began to groan and crack under their feet. Aido was doing the best he could, but the river was going to win any minute now. The blonde carried Zero over his shoulder, running quickly for the shore. Takuma looped his arm under Kaname's shoulders and half helped, half dragged him swiftly in the same direction, with Kain and Ruka right behind.

The ice was cracking and buckling now, breaking off in huge chunks as the water began to erode and wash away the main foundations of the dam. They reached the shore not a moment too soon as the ice finally broke free right behind them, the wall going to pieces and the surface ice breaking apart into jagged floes that hurtled away down river.

Aido's legs buckled and he dropped to his knees on the soggy, muddy earth, just managing not to lose hold of the person he was carrying. He eased Zero down onto the ground on his back. The blonde's hand was trembling and freezing cold as he touched the hunter's neck, seeking a pulse. He hoped it was his own exhaustion that was keeping him from finding one. Clammy fingers of worry wrapped tight around his spine.

He pressed his hand over Zero's heart, feeling for a beat or a breath... there was neither. _Oh God... no, do not let this be happening. _"Damn it, Zero!" he muttered urgently, tipping the hunter's head back to try and clear his airway and desperately attempting to force his weary mind to remember what he ought to do. _Damn it, damn it, damn it!_ CPR... were you supposed to press and then breath, or breathe and then press? He _knew _this...

Kaname stumbled to the earth the minute they were on safe ground. He literally could not support himself anymore and he sagged in Takuma's grip as he slid down. Takuma kept his friend from simply falling and cushioned the slide, kneeling down beside the pureblood. Something was wrong. Something was really, _really _wrong with the pureblood. Something more than just being drained beyond belief. Takuma could tell by touching him, could tell by looking at him. It was terrifying, actually. It was as if Kaname had somehow faded to a shadow of himself. The innate sense that instantly identified a pureblood to other vampires was eerily dim and translucent.

Takuma laid a comforting, steadying hand on his friend's shoulder. _Kaname... what have you done? _

Kaname's head was spinning; it was all he could do to not pass out as he lay on the ground on his side. He gasped raggedly for breath, trembling almost uncontrollably. He was freezing, the drizzling rain like icy, stabbing needles on his agonizingly cold body.

"Takuma!" Aido's slightly panicked voice jerked Takuma's attention unwillingly away from the pureblood. Aido was kneeling over Zero, alternately pumping his chest and breathing into his mouth. The hunter was very, very still.

Takuma was torn for a moment, but Kaname pushed at him weakly. "Go! Go!" The pureblood was almost too weak to lift his head, but he managed to enough to see that Aido was trying to help Zero. _Zero... _concern and fear washed through Kaname, but he was too weakened, his body couldn't handle the additional emotional strain and it nearly gave out on him. A swirling curtain of black that wasn't quite unconsciousness descended. He was still aware, but barely, his muddled mind reeling. So cold... he was so cold... shivering helplessly, the pureblood unconsciously curled into a fetal position on the wet earth.

Takuma transferred quickly to Zero's side, kneeling beside Aido. He understood at once why Aido was panicking. Zero wasn't responding to CPR. He wasn't breathing and there was no heartbeat. Takuma gave a quick nod, understanding what Aido wanted him to do. Takuma had done it before; he only hoped it could help now.

Aido reluctantly pulled away from Zero to keep from getting zapped as Takuma placed one hand high on Zero's chest and one on his ribs, ready to try to electrically shock the hunter's heart back to life like a defibrillator.

Aido was confused. Zero's vitals, or rather, his complete lack of them, read that the ex-human was in deep trouble. Yet Zero's body felt weirdly and inexplicably strong on some level he couldn't quite pinpoint. That made no sense whatsoever, considering that for all intents and purposes, unless they could restart his heart and his breathing... the ex-human was dead.

Kaname suddenly felt strange but welcome warmth start to flood his freezing body, calming his trembling a little. Kain was crouching behind him. The vampire's dislocated arm still hung useless at his side, but Kain's good hand rested on the side of Kaname's shoulder, softly infusing the pureblood's weakened body with warmth through a very careful application of his abilities.

Ruka pulled Kaname's head gently into her lap, smoothing his dark hair back from his face and trying not to tremble herself as she started to actually get a look at what a mess the pureblood was. He was bleeding from multiple cuts and gashes to his face, his arms, his torso... the debris in the water had obviously done a real number on him. He felt so very... _wrong. _

The soothing touches of both vampires and the feeling of safety they evoked was comforting in Kaname's semi-lucid state. Dimly, he was aware that he was extremely lucky to hold the loyalty and friendship of people like these. A pureblood as weakened and defenseless as he was right now could easily have been seen as temptingly irresistible prey by other vampires. But not these vampires... they wanted only to save him.

Takuma's gaze held Aido for a moment, then flittered quickly to Kaname and back before he bent to his task. Zero's body arched under his hands as he let electricity flow into him in a measured burst. _Come on, Zero... fight... come on... _

Aido got the message and quickly turned to check on Kaname. He was heartbroken and horrified by what he saw. Now that he'd been out of the water a minute or two, the blood from Kaname's wounds was having a chance to make itself known, oozing from cuts and gashes with that disturbingly intoxicating scent. Right now, all it did was frighten Aido. Because Kaname shouldn't still be bleeding like that. He didn't appear to be healing at all.

Kaname was all but oblivious to the sting of his own wounds. His barely conscious mind was spinning with only one fear, one worry... there was only one mind he kept reaching out for... but he couldn't find him. _"Zero..."_ he moaned in the faintest hint of a whisper.

The four nobles did not know what had happened between the pureblood and the hunter since the last time they had seen them, but whatever problems they had been having were obviously seriously moot at this point.

Ruka's gaze shifted from Kaname, to Zero, then up to Kain, unusually soft anguish on her face. She would probably never really _like _the hunter, but she had seen him pull Kaname out of the water. Seen him struggling to hold the pureblood up even as he was going under. That meant something to her. That meant he was okay in her book. She couldn't help hoping he would be all right.

As he moved closer, for the first time Aido perceived the same _wrongness _about Kaname that the others had already felt. He scrambled the rest of the way over quickly, wondering what could possibly have done this to the pureblood... no injury could have had this kind of effect, surely...? As the blonde's fingers brushed Kaname's temple with a hesitant, feather light touch... he felt his gut suddenly curdle in understanding.

Under his touch... Kaname's body felt inexplicably weak, where Zero's had felt improbably strong. _Oh crap. _Aido swallowed against a tight knot of apprehension and dread in his throat. Still crouching in front of the nearly unresponsive pureblood, his gaze shot back to where Takuma was still working over Zero.

Zero's body arched again under Takuma's hands, but the drawn, worried look in the noble's green eyes said that things were not going well. Zero still wasn't responding. His heart had been still almost a whole two minutes now, and who knew how long before they got him out of the water he had stopped breathing? The clock was ticking down fast on how long they had left to try to resuscitate him before the effort became useless. A vampire body could heal a lot... but not if it stayed dead too long, or began turning to dust. Ex-humans were especially prone to simply disintegrating upon death or mortal injury. It was a miracle Zero was holding out as well as he was, but perhaps... an explainable one.

"Where is it...?" Aido murmured, quickly scrambling back to Zero on hands and knees and looking him over. He tugged the ex-human's torn shirt open a little, then tilted his head from side to side, checking the vital power areas where you would place a... _there_. There it was.

Behind Zero's ear, hidden by his dripping silver hair, Aido found the small, distinctive shape of the Kuran rose... unmistakably, Kaname's blood seal. The area around it was reddened and the seal itself was actually hot to the touch when Aido's fingertips brushed it lightly.

Takuma was looking at Aido like the other vampire was slightly insane when he first came over... until he saw what he had found. "Is that...?"

Aido nodded. "Kaname's put a blood seal on him. _God... _I've never seen one so strong," he whispered in a vaguely mixed jumble of horror and awe. "He must have put half his power in there, at _least._"

Kain's head came up sharply. He still had his hand on Kaname's arm, keeping the trembling pureblood warm. "They were bridging... back at the levee, they must have been bridging," he murmured in shock, only fully understanding now, the brief, amazing glimpse he had seen before their shield fell. "Kaname would have had to transfer power..."

"But he can't get it back..." Ruka's eyes widened in horror. "If Kiriyu dies, he'll never get it back." Kaname would be left permanently crippled like this... it was unthinkable.

Takuma had the feeling that if Zero died, it wouldn't matter... because he very much feared they would lose the pureblood anyway, but he didn't say so. Truth was, right now, the excess power stored in Zero's body was probably the only thing keeping it whole as his heart stubbornly refused to resume beating and the time for reasonable hope expired.

Kaname stirred, dragging himself back towards fuller consciousness as Ruka's words penetrated the darkness around him with a sickening stab. _Die... Kiriyu... Zero... why were they talking about him dying...? _

With inhuman effort, the pureblood dragged his eyes open. Everything was blurry and out of focus, but he saw Zero's outline on the ground a few feet away, two blonde heads of different shades bending over him. In his current state, and with their distinctive locks slicked flat to their heads and darkened by the rain, Kaname couldn't decipher which one was Aido and which one was Takuma.

Kaname started to force himself up onto one elbow and Ruka and Kain caught at him gently, wanting him to save his strength... but Kaname resisted and they ceded to his wishes immediately. The pureblood was trying to drag himself closer to the others so the two nobles aided him as gently as they could, helping him half crawl the short distance to Zero's side. Aido moved automatically out of the way as Kaname's hand sought Zero's chest. Takuma had been continuing to automatically administer CPR, despite knowing it was doing no good, but he too retreated a little now, rocking back on his heels. He was desperate to save Zero... but their options were growing bleak.

The rain had tapered to a mere sporadic drizzle now, but it felt very much like it was still pouring in all their hearts.

"Takuma! Hey! Takuma!"

Takuma rose quickly and turned towards the sound of his name, and the familiar voice that had called it. He saw Shiki and Rima running towards them through the thinning drizzle, splashing through puddles. The two models were frowning as they arrived, taking in the scene before them. "What...?"

But Takuma hushed them and quickly, explanations would have to come later. He trusted both of them enough to know that they would do whatever they could even without knowing the full situation. He held out his hand towards Shiki. "Senri, do you have your cell with you? I need it, quick!" Takuma's had been wrecked when they were caught by the tail end of the flood, and he knew the other three didn't have theirs with them.

Shiki swiftly dug in his pocket under his poncho and handed the small, sleek red phone over to Takuma. His and Rima's gazes were frozen in horror on Kaname and Zero. _What in heaven's name was going on?_

Kaname barely registered the newcomers. He didn't care who was present or who was watching, he wanted nothing more than to curl up beside Zero and just sleep forever. But there was a terrifying deadness in the hunter's body as his hand rested on the still chest... a disturbing lack of life. It was enough to jolt Kaname further aware.

"Zero..." he murmured softly once more, fear and anguish clear in his dark eyes now, and painful for everyone present to witness. Bone deep horror flooded the pureblood's reeling body. Zero was dead. _Zero was dead... _

_No! No that couldn't be true! He would know if he died, he would feel their bond snap... Zero still had to be in there, his body just wasn't responding... there had to be a chance still... _

Automatically, Kaname's trembling fingers weakly sought the side of Zero's neck, pressing against the blood seal. _Maybe he just needed more... if I can just give him more..._ but the truth was, Kaname had nothing left to give.

Aido grabbed Kaname's hand and pulled it away from Zero's neck, knowing what the pureblood was doing and knowing that he could not spare anything more. In his condition, it would kill him.

"No! You can't..." he rasped miserably, eyes stinging and burning. He shouldn't be holding Kaname's arm like that, shouldn't be telling him what he could or couldn't do... but Aido had always been stupid enough to do what he shouldn't. He wasn't about to change that now, when it mattered.

"Let me go!" Kaname rasped in frustrated desperation with all the command he could muster. He was too weak to pull his hand away and to his horror he discovered he was too weak to force the others to obey him either.

"Please, you can't... you'll die..." Aido begged, still holding Kaname's wrist, unable to care about the dangerous line he was walking. "It won't help him!"

"Ai..do..." Kaname forced out with effort. He wanted to be angry, but he couldn't find the strength. Desperation trumped all as his gaze caught that of the other vampire, trying to get him to understand that he had to try... he had to do _something_. "Please... Don't..."

Aido's heart broke and yet swelled with determination at the same time. "I won't..." he interrupted, promising it with a catch in his voice. He didn't want Kaname to finish. Even without pureblood power, he knew he couldn't resist Kaname's pleas, but he also could not let the pureblood do want he wanted to do. "I _won't _let him die, Kaname-sama..." the honorific sounded like an endearment in his soft, serious tone. Aido didn't know what he could do... but he would do something. He would do anything. _I won't let either of you die._

"Help is on the way," Takuma said as he knelt down beside the others again, passing Shiki back his cell phone. "I've got a helicopter en-route. They should be here in a few minutes and we can get them out of here," he nodded towards Kaname and Zero.

"We'll get him help, Kaname. It will be okay," Takuma murmured reassuringly to his friend, even though he very much feared he was lying.

They needed to get Zero help and _fast_. A real team of vampire doctors with the right equipment might yet possibly save him... but all of them knew the unspoken reality. By the time the chopper got there, picked up the wounded vampires and carried them off to a medical facility... Zero would have been dead too long to bring back. Already the pale tint of his skin was starting to turn bluish and no doubt tissue and brain damage that for a human would be irreparable had set in. A vampire still had a chance... but he had to have help right _now. _Not fifteen or twenty minutes from now. _Immediately. _

Suddenly a desperate idea lodged itself in Aido's brain and he released Kaname's hand, shifting swiftly to kneel by Zero's head. Sitting cross-legged, he pulled the hunter's wet upper body into his lap. He placed a hand on either side of the ex-human's head, cradling it between them. Closing his eyes, Aido concentrated... _hard. _

Slowly... Zero's internal temperature started plummeting. His wet hair and clothes became hard as iron as the moisture in them froze solid. A thin, silver sheen of ice began to form on his increasingly pale skin, added to by the lightly drizzling rain which froze upon contact with the ex-human's super-chilled body. Combined with the color of his hair, it made him look like a delicate silver statue molded from glass.

Kaname had struggled up to one elbow again and was staring at them both, his eyes fixed unblinking upon Zero's still, gracefully frost laced features. He looked like some kind of ice-prince out of a fairytale. It was fascinating, mesmerizing, and terrifying to witness, but he understood what Aido was doing. He was trying to buy Zero time... time to get him the help they could not provide here.

With careful precision, Aido lowered the hunter's body temperature until it was hovering right around –196 degrees Celsius. The optimal temperature for cryonic preservation. Zero's metal piercings were bitterly cold under his palm, the hunter's body freezing against his legs, but Aido was focused very much outside himself at the moment. He was already tired and this wasn't easy. Although it required less strength, in some ways, it was also harder than the raw power needed to maintain the ice dam a few minutes ago. Because this required much more finesse and an incredibly minute level of control. He had to cool Zero rapidly, but not _too _rapidly. If the freezing rate exceeded the osmotic loss of water in the extracellular space, it would cause the hunter's cells to burst. He had to be careful not to allow ice crystals to form inside the hunter's tissues or blood vessels, and he had to be careful to control everything so precisely that he did not freeze Zero to the wet ground he was lying on, at least, not in a significant manner that would hinder his being moved.

Only because Zero was a vampire, and only because Aido knew he had a huge amount of Kaname's power bound to him, did the blond think this had half a chance of working. Otherwise, the risk that he might not survive the freezing or the eventual thawing process was very high. But preserving Zero in stasis until he could be helped was about the only option they had.

Hesitantly, Kaname reached out and brushed Zero's cold, frozen cheek lightly with the back of his fingers. He shivered. It was wildly disturbing to feel the hunter's skin so cold and hard, so unlike the soft, warm, supple way it usually felt under his touch...

Aido's head slid down as he hunched over Zero. His forehead touched the ex-human's and remained there. He was no longer aware of anything else as he maintained the careful balance of temperature in every area of the other vampire's body. His focus was so intense it was almost consuming him, but he could and he _would _hold it for as long as necessary.

In the distance, they could hear the whine of helicopter blades slicing through the air towards their location. Kaname remained unmoving on the ground, almost as still as the frozen hunter beside him and the blonde vampire who held him. Ice had formed on Aido's skin now too where he was touching the hunter, small, silver ribbons of frost lacing between them.

Kain moved over to silently stand behind his cousin, laying a light hand on the younger vampire's shoulder. He of all of them realized how hard a task this was. Aido's body was freezing under his hand and he carefully extended warmth into it, just enough to touch Aido, not enough to transfer to Kiriyu or disturb his cousin's work. Aido would need to keep physical contact with Zero until they were safely into a doctor's care.

Takuma pulled off his rain coat and his sweater, not caring about the drizzle that was still falling. Kneeling once more, he wrapped both around Kaname. The pureblood looked like he was sliding into shock, glassy gaze still fixed on Zero, but only minimally responsive to the world around him.

Kaname curled just slightly into the relatively dry warmth of the garments wrapped around him. He was dimly aware of the sound of the chopper putting down nearby. "Takuma..." he whispered faintly, making the other vampire bend close to hear the words.

"Can't... go with them..." he murmured in the same weak whisper. "You, protect... them..."

Takuma understood. Kaname could not go to a vampire hospital, despite his deplorable condition. He could not be examined by doctors outside of an environment that he could carefully control; he could not let others see him this way. It was different than merely being injured... anyone who examined him would know that he was severely lacking in strength... and word of this could not be allowed to spread. He might as well paint a giant target on his back.

"Kain and Ruka will protect them," he said quietly, his gaze sliding to the two vampires in question, who both returned a serious nod. Ruka stood at once and moved to join Kain beside Zero's and Aido's still forms. Takuma brushed his cheek in a tender, brotherly gesture against his friend's cold, wet hair as he shifted the other vampire carefully. "And I will protect you," he whispered, holding Kaname wrapped in his coat and lifting the pureblood into his arms. "No one will see you," he promised, understanding how important that was to Kaname.

The pureblood should have been offended at the notion of being protected, but the truth was, right now he knew he needed it. He had not the strength to get out of here on his own. He barely had the strength to keep his eyes open any longer. He ached to go with Zero, to stay near him... but it could not be. Darkness was hedging in again, too strong for him to fight it. As Takuma rapidly carried him away, keeping the pureblood's head and identity protectively hidden from view, Kaname's last memory was a glimpse of Ruka, Shiki and Rima helping several newcomers lift Zero onto a stretcher while Kain helped Aido to his feet, supporting his stumbling cousin so that Aido could keep his hands pressed to Zero's chest, never breaking contact as they moved rapidly towards the waiting chopper.


	22. Finding One Another Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _A/N: Finally some much needed down time and heart-to-heart time for our dear boys. :) More to come of course, but rebuilding after everything they've been through will be a gradual (and of course not all together smooth :D) process. Still... the journey has begun. Big thank you to YenGirl for letting me use some of her wording / ideas / turns of phrase in parts of this chapter. _

**Chapter Twenty-Two: "Finding One Another Again" **

Pale morning sunlight filtered through the partially open drapes, the growing brightness muted to a soft, comfortable level for vampire eyes by the tint of the windows as they automatically darkened to match the level of light striking them.

The muted light seemed to softly illuminate the features of the young man lying unmoving on the large, comfortable bed. Pale skin and silver hair were contrasted only by the lighter cream of the ultra-soft, pure Egyptian cotton sheets and down-filled pillows upon which and under which he rested. The light from the windows did not actually touch the bed, as that would be uncomfortable for its occupant, but the luminous, reflected glow was a trick of the room's architecture, painting the room in soft, golden light that made the sunrise magical without the UV levels that were disturbing to creatures of the night.

Long fingers brushed softly against the sleeper's silky hair. Kaname could not resist touching Zero lightly as he adjusted the sheets over the unconscious hunter's chest. The ex-human was absolutely beautiful in this light, like a renaissance angel slumbering on a milky cloud. A faint, wry smile touched the pureblood's lips as his fingertip trailed across one of Zero's ear cuffs, fashioned into the shape of a little silver skull. Okay... so the hunter's multiple piercings and Goth taste in jewelry kind of clashed with the angel analogy. A _rebel_ angel then... he had to be, after all... considering his lover was more likely to be compared to the devil.

Quietly, Kaname slid down to sit in the comfortable armchair pulled close near the foot of the bed. He pulled the soft, fleece blanket draped over the back of the chair down around his shoulders, letting it settle comfortably around his easily chilled and softly aching body. It was late, and he was tired, but this was the only place he wanted to be. Even if Zero didn't know he was there. Even if the hunter continued to lie there, unmoving as the earth, moon and sun went through yet another rotation.

Zero had been in a coma for almost two weeks now, ever since the day of the flood. Once at the hospital, with the doctors standing by, Aido had carefully thawed the ex-human before passing out himself and ending up occupying the bed next to him in the recovery ward for a little while. The doctors had been able to resuscitate the ex-human, keeping him on artificial life-support until his own body was able to start picking up the slack once more and begin functioning and mending on its own. Aido had recovered quickly with a little sleep and he and the other nobles of Kaname's inner circle all took turns sitting with Zero while he remained in recovery, making sure he was never alone.

Kaname had found all this out later, of course. He'd been more or less unconscious or delirious for almost three days himself. Takuma had taken him back to the Academy and sequestered them both in Kaname's rooms, not leaving his side that entire time. It was a vigil of care and friendship, but also one of watchful protection. It was not for naught that vampire law dealt so strictly with anyone who harmed a pureblood, considering how rare they now were. Their blood and their flesh was the deepest temptation any vampire could ever encounter. Vampire instinct was the instinct of a predator. Like sharks smelling blood in the water, it could override all reason. Normally, no one would dare even think of touching a pureblood because of their power, because their own innate will was constantly at work on those around them even without it being conscious. It was a part of their natural defenses. But a weak, unconscious pureblood had no such defense and was left hideously vulnerable. Takuma remained watchfully on guard the entire time. He refused to sleep until his friend was out of danger. Fortunately, Kaname's condition was a well kept secret and there were no unpleasant incidents.

As soon as Kaname _was_ conscious of course, he had wanted to see Zero. The pureblood was both pleased and touched to find Aido and Kain actually hanging out in Zero's hospital room when he arrived. He had entrusted them with his most precious treasure, and they had kept that trust very well.

Kaname's power and Aido's intervention had saved Zero's life, but the hunter had yet to awake. It had been touch and go at first, but his prognosis was stable now. Stable enough that Kaname had been able to take him out of the hospital to somewhere much more comfortable and private. The doctors said there was nothing physically wrong with him anymore... he simply did not wake. The general consensus was that his body just needed the time to recover from the unusual, unprecedented strain that had been placed upon it, both by the flood, and by bridging with Kaname. Once that consensus had been reached and Zero's condition was declared stable, the doctors' memories had been quietly altered to omit the parts that Kaname did not want known, such as the presence of the blood seal. Only one doctor, who remained in residence with them here, still knew all about Zero's condition – until Zero woke and that would no longer be necessary. The doctor, a vampire noble, fully understood he would not be allowed to remember the details of his current patient once treatment was terminated. It was the will of a pureblood and he had no objections. He was certainly being well remunerated for his time.

There was some concern, of course. Kaname's power was still bound to Zero. For the moment, that had helped him, enabling him to recover from utilizing a level of ability that a formerly human body was never meant to be able to handle. If he did not awake soon to release the seal, however, there would come a point when the increased power level would begin to cause damage, burning the ex-human's body out like a candle bearing too hot a flame. There was a little time yet, before that became an imminent danger, so the pureblood was determined not to borrow trouble.

Kaname settled back in the plush chair, watching Zero quietly. It was comfortable here, in this room he'd specifically appointed for Zero. He'd tried to furnish it to the hunter's tastes rather than his own, just... perhaps a bit more on the luxurious and decadent side. Zero had complained sometimes, that Kaname's rooms at school seemed dark to him. Of course, Kaname liked it comfortably dark, but he knew it wasn't just the level of lighting. Zero did not necessarily seem at home in the same elegant Victorian trappings and enigmatical environment that the pureblood favored. This room, although comfortably shielded from the sun, had a distinct hint of both practicality and airy lightness to it and was tailored towards comfort, with padded leather chairs and couches, soft cotton bedclothes and diaphanous drapes and bed curtains that were whimsical without getting in the way of being functional. To be truthful, Kaname wasn't too sure he knew Zero's tastes all that well, but he'd done his best to set this room up in a way that reminded him of the hunter and they could always personalize it later. It had given him something to do, anyway... during these long days. When Zero did wake up, he wanted him to feel like he was someplace he could learn to call home.

Ironically, in so doing, Kaname had come closer to finding some place that _he _could try to think of as home than he had since his parents died. The peacefulness of the gentle sunrise and of the sleeping figure on the bed dulled the ache in the pureblood's bones and he slowly let the weariness that was his constant companion have its way, lulling him towards a light slumber.

It was early afternoon when the silver amethyst eyes of the sleeper on the bed slowly blinked open.

For a moment, Zero thought he'd missed his alarm, because it was clearly light outside. Then he remembered he didn't have to get up in the mornings anymore, so really, it was the middle of the night... day... whatever. Then he wondered _where_ he was, because he clearly wasn't in his dorm room. Not Kaname's dorm room either. He'd never seen this bed before, with its four tall cherry wood posts rising up to support an open canopy top above, draped with tasteful cream hangings that complimented the rest of the bed clothes. It was probably the softest, most luxurious thing he'd ever been in in his life, but he had absolutely no memory of it, or how he got here.

Zero shifted, pushing up against the pillows. The longer he was awake, the more strangely antsy he was starting to feel. Like he'd recently drunk a vat of coffee and topped it off with a few dozen candy bars. There was a funny headache gnawing at the back of his mind too, he now realized. The ex-human's gaze wandered around the unfamiliar, but decidedly gorgeous and comfortable feeling room, before quickly lighting on the dark haired figure near the foot of the bed.

A soft, warm smile tugged unconsciously at Zero's lips.

Kaname was asleep, seated in a chair, but leaning forward now so that his arms were folded on the bed, his head pillowed on them as he slumbered, dark hair tumbled about his face and over his arms. A blanket rested on his back, slipping slightly down one shoulder.

Upon seeing Kaname, everything came back to Zero. The rain, the flood... the last desperate moments in the water before there was nothing but waking up here. There was a momentary jolt in the pit of his stomach at the recollections, but the atmosphere was too peaceful for fear and with Kaname sleeping right there... Zero could only assume that somehow everything had worked out all right.

It felt so _strange _though, the complete difference between his last memories of disaster and destruction and his current comfortable, indulgent surroundings. It was almost like some kind of dream or nightmare. That wasn't the only thing that felt strange, either. As his gaze continued to rest on the pureblood, Zero drifted back to the things said before the flood had consumed their attention and energies. That part, he definitely did not want to be only a dream.

Everything seemed so surreal somehow and it was a little hard to think or concentrate, although he wasn't sure why. Kaname had said things to him by the river in that brief lull before all hell had broken loose. Said things about their relationship... about actually being... friends... and... well, Zero didn't really know _what_ they were – friends with benefits? That seemed so cliché. But the important thing to his heart was that they were _not_ a pureblood and his ex-human whore. Zero hadn't had much time to fully absorb that truth yet, but in a way... the chaos that had followed after had helped him grab onto it anyway. He remembered little distinctly from when he and Kaname had been mentally connected as they held back the water... yet the feelings and impressions that remained went a long way towards being subconsciously reassuring of the pureblood's sincerity.

"Kaname?" Zero murmured hesitantly, hating to wake him up, but thinking that sleeping in the chair like that couldn't possibly be all that comfortable.

The pureblood didn't stir and Zero's smile quirked a little more. _Well, well, well... sleeping beauty was resting unusually sound today. _Kaname was normally a very light sleeper. Zero started to ease out from under the covers... then paused a moment, quickly remembering to take stock of how dressed he was or wasn't. He had a rather embarrassing history of waking up naked in strange beds whenever Kaname was involved. Not this time though. He was wearing pajama pants and a short sleeved pajama shirt that were made of the same, deliriously comfortable material as the bed sheets.

Zero still didn't know where he was, but he assumed he and Kaname must be guests somewhere. This definitely had the feeling of being somebody's home, not just a hospital or a hotel. Perhaps at some point he would try to find out from the owner of this room what kind of material this was. Probably something hideously expensive and out of his budget, but still... it was very nice. He enjoyed the silk and satin sheets for which Kaname had a penchant, but there was a particular softness to this fabric that especially appealed to him... Zero caught himself and was surprised that he apparently felt relaxed enough in these surroundings to actually spare a thought to such things when waking up in a strange bed in some unknown vampire's house. Probably the fact that Kaname was sleeping at the foot of the bed had a large part to play in making him feel safe here. Wherever _here _was.

Zero slid out from under the covers, feeling the soft, plush weave of the carpet under his bare feet. It was a good thing it was so plush, because to his surprise, he suddenly ended up on his hands and knees on that carpet, his legs apparently having forgotten how to hold him. Or maybe his balance was off... Zero wasn't sure. He shook his head. The almost sick, giddy feeling was making it harder and harder to think and his limbs felt shaky and weird as if he'd not used them in weeks.

He realized he was thirsty too, in more ways than one. Getting back up onto the bed was significantly harder than getting out had been and Zero had to catch his breath once he was there. _Okay... so standing not such a good idea right now. _Instead, Zero scooted down the bed a little until he was near Kaname. The fact that the other vampire hadn't stirred through all this would have been worrisome to Zero if his head had been a little bit clearer.

Zero trailed his fingers slowly through the pureblood's silky brown curls, playing with them where they lay against the other's right cheek. "Kana-me..." he murmured again, drawing the pureblood's name out in an amused manner. Zero's fingers traced the pale column of the pureblood's neck, brushing the hair away from it.

His fangs were throbbing slightly and the desire to simply lean down and slide them into that familiar, exposed neck was very strong. It would be a deliciously pleasant way to wake Kaname up, too... but something made Zero hesitate. Something... _off _about the pureblood that he wasn't quite clear enough yet to put a finger on, but it unconsciously engaged his protective instincts. Closing his eyes briefly, Zero resisted. Given what was still bound to him, it was surprisingly easier to do than usual, but he didn't quite mark that fact, nor understand why he felt the way he did.

Kaname stirred at the touch of Zero's fingers, turning his head slightly into the hunter's hand with a contented expression as if he were having a pleasant dream. Then the dark, graceful eyelashes fluttered open and he blinked once or twice as he realized it wasn't a dream.

Kaname sat up quickly, joy and relief clearly visible in his eyes as he took in the sight of the hunter sitting on the bed before him. Very much awake and alive. He had too many images of Zero looking otherwise in his memories, and the pureblood leaned forward quickly, coming up onto the bed with Zero so he could wrap his arms around him in a tight hug. _Zero was okay. He really was okay... _He felt the embarrassing urge to cry, although he managed not to. Just barely.

There was no moment of hesitation, Zero wrapped his arms around Kaname in return, hugging the other vampire as tightly as his still strangely shaky limbs allowed. He was relieved too. His last conscious thoughts had been of trying to keep the pureblood safe... it was good to have him in his arms now, in one piece. And the look Kaname had just fixed him with... it went straight to the hunter's heart and made his eyes sting strangely as well.

"Are you okay?" Kaname murmured worriedly against Zero's neck. "Do you feel all right?" He pulled back so he could get a better look at him, hands sliding down Zero's arms.

Zero nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. Kinda dizzy and wobbly," he admitted. "But not too bad for probably being half drowned. How long was I out?"

"Two weeks," Kaname told him with a slightly amused tone. "And you were a little more than _half _drowned..." The pureblood was wearing a loose white shirt that was only partially buttoned. The cuffs were undone, and with his hair slightly disheveled still from sleep he made quite an endearing picture. But there were dark circles under his eyes that should not have been there, and a weariness in the slump of his shoulders that was disturbing the hunter. Had Kaname been that worried? Or was it something else?

The shock of the pureblood's answer distracted Zero for the moment, however. "Two weeks?" he echoed in surprise. That was longer than he'd expected. A couple days maybe, but _weeks? _"Exactly how more than half-dead _was_ I?" he inquired incredulously. He tilted his head; Kaname was holding himself a little oddly, almost as if he was trying to keep the left side of his face in shadow.

"Try just about completely." Kaname could smile about it now, because the danger was past, and he was sitting here, talking with _Zero _about it. The sheer relief of seeing the hunter awake and acting so normal almost made him dizzy, but also put him in a very good mood. "Aido had to freeze you so you'd make it to the hospital in time. You made a very lovely popsicle by the way." There was a very subtle but definite glint in his dark eyes that seemed to add _and you know what one does with popsicles..._

Zero grimaced, shooting Kaname a dry glare and attempting very hard to miss his less innocent implications. "Oh. _Great,_" he tried to absorb the idea of being frozen and not be weirded out by it. "Guess that's better than mouth-to-mouth at least..." he was being sarcastic, but the look on Kaname's face told him he should have kept his mouth shut.

"Actually... he did that too..." the pureblood remarked mildly, immediately giving Zero mental images that made his eyes widen slightly and his ears flush. Oh crap... it was probably going to be impossible to resist flushing again next time he saw Aido and _that _image came to mind.

Kaname's amused smile grew wider. Takuma had given Zero CPR too, but it was more amusing somehow with Aido. He shook his head. "He saved your life, Zero," he added quietly, more seriously.

"Okay, guess I won't kill him then," Zero muttered, but the look in his eyes was soft.

"That would seem a bit ungrateful," Kaname agreed in the same mild, deadpan conversational tone that he tended to use to very good effect.

Zero reached out and cupped Kaname's left cheek in his hand, turning the other vampire's face fully towards him for the first time. "What about you, Kaname? Are you oka-" Zero didn't finish. His fingers had found a rough, out of place line marring the pureblood's normally smooth skin. Turning Kaname's face into the light, the hunter's brows knit suddenly in concern. _What in the... _

A faint, but distinct pink scar ran down the left side of Kaname's face, from cheekbone to chin. It was the same line that the willow branches had cut into him, Zero remembered that. But... but...

He was unintentionally staring at Kaname in soft shock and the pureblood dropped his gaze, turning his head a bit and self consciously covering the scarred side of his face with his hand as if it was a hideous disfigurement. For him, it was. It didn't matter how thin and faint... a pureblood bearing scars was a disgrace.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, as if his appearance might have somehow offended Zero. "Don't... don't worry about that..."

But as Kaname lifted his hand to his face, the loose, unbuttoned cuff of his sleeve slide down his arm and the shock in Zero's gaze turned to concerned horror. He caught Kaname's arm, pulling his hand gently away from his face and pushing his sleeve further up his arm. The pureblood made as if to resist, then seemed to decide against it with a resigned, pained expression. He hated Zero to see him like this, to see him maimed and... _ugly_... but it was not as if he could hide it.

Thin pink and white scars crisscrossed the pureblood's arm in jagged, misshapen lines, disappearing under his shirt. The shirt was only partially buttoned, and Zero reached out, pushing it open a little wider... allowing him to see several similar marks marring Kaname's chest as well. The pureblood looked like he had been slashed up badly and had not healed well.

Kaname _had _been slashed up badly. Zero vaguely remembered the river, the debris... the broken tree he had found the pureblood trapped and tangled up in... but why had he not healed well? That had been _two weeks ago, _apparently, and Zero had _never _seen scars on Kaname's body before... even when he'd had his chest shot to pieces once; he'd healed without a trace.

Kaname tried not to let it ache too deeply as Zero stared at him. Long sleeved, high collared shirts and his own long hair hid the scars that the river had left him with from everyone else, but he'd not felt the need to hide them here, in Zero's room, with only the previously unconscious hunter for company. To be honest, he didn't actually think that Zero would be seriously put off by the scars, even if most vampires would be. At least... he hoped not. But it was still hard, and he was so much more afraid of seeing distaste or disgust in his lover's eyes than he could admit. Even the doctor hadn't been able to hide an initial reaction of revulsion when he'd seen them. Kaname had had to let the other vampire examine him when he realized the marks weren't going to just go away, but he quickly had decided it was a mistake. The doctor now had no memory of that incident. Still, Kaname couldn't blame him... an imperfect pureblood was almost like a form of sacrilege.

Kaname's gaze was averted, a soft, self-conscious unease radiating from him and Zero suddenly worried that the pureblood might misconstrue his surprise and concern for something else. Vampires were very vain creatures in his experience, putting quite the premium on perfection and beauty. Normally, that irritated or amused him, but in a situation like this...

Going with the instinct of his heart, Zero gently pulled the pale arm he was holding closer to him, bending his head and softly touching his lips to the thin, slightly puckered lines of scar tissue. He turned his gaze up to fix on the other vampire and there was very clearly no distaste or remote hint of revulsion in those amethyst eyes. The marks made absolutely no difference to him.

It was the right thing to do. Kaname's body relaxed visibly and a deep, tender warmth glowed quietly in the depths of his dark eyes. _Zero really didn't find him repulsive like this..._ He shivered softly at the touch of Zero's lips on his skin, almost ready to forget that there was anything wrong at all under the power of that light caress.

"How... _why_?" Zero whispered. The scars themselves did not disturb him, but whatever caused them, whatever underlying problem they might signify _did_ and he was worried.

"It's nothing." Kaname tried to shrug as if it did not matter. Gently, he brushed Zero's hair back behind his ear, letting his fingers linger against the seal on his neck. "I bound a lot of my power to you," he replied honestly. "Without it, my body does not seem to be quite... itself. But do not concern yourself too much; I am sure that with time they will eventually disappear."

In truth, the past two weeks had been more difficult than Kaname would let on. His condition was an anomaly. Strength-wise, he should probably have been equivalent to a noble class vampire, but it wasn't that simple. He was a pureblood and draining his life-force didn't make him a lower class, it merely made him weak. A weakness his body was proving ill prepared to deal with on a daily basis. It was like constantly being ill... or old. His bones ached, his head ached and he felt tired and cold all the time. He could not go out like this, he could not be seen like this... not only was it seriously dangerous to let his personal and political enemies know he was this vulnerable, but the image of weakness it presented would irreparably damage his standing and his ability to command respect. Besides, he was finding that his immune system was very delicate without his usually amped up healing to protect him.

All of this meant that Kaname had been a virtual prisoner for the past two weeks. He saw no one on a daily basis except for Seiren who had returned and was managing the house and security for him. The servants knew not to disturb him and did not find it odd that they never saw the reclusive pureblood. Takuma, Kain, Aido and the others would have been there all the time if allowed, but they respected that Kaname wished to be alone, and really did not like to have people around him in his current state, even his friends.

Still... it had not been all unpleasant. If this was a prison, it was a beautiful one. Kaname had purchased a lovely, secluded villa deep in the country to which he could retreat and bring Zero while the hunter convalesced. Two weeks of solitude had given him ample time to get the place in order and completely redone to his tastes.

Zero winced slightly as Kaname's fingers brushed his neck and he found that the blood seal behind his ear was tender, almost painful to the touch. As Kaname's words sunk in, the strange way he was feeling suddenly made sense. Understanding filled Zero's eyes and his hand rose quickly to his neck, covering Kaname's. Guilt flooded him.

"I'm so sorry," he apologized softly, feeling a little sick as he realized that Kaname must have had a pretty rough time of it while he was unconscious. Not healing right... unable to reclaim that which he had poured into the hunter... Quickly, Zero's fingers nudged Kaname's off the tender spot on his neck, replacing them with his own. He pressed his other hand to Kaname's chest, obviously about to release the seal on the spot.

"No!" Kaname quickly grabbed Zero's hand, pulling it off of his neck before clasping it a little more gently in his own. "You mustn't release it all at once. Both of our bodies have become too adapted to the state they are now in. It will have to be released slowly, or the shock could be damaging." Damaging for Zero, not for Kaname, but the pureblood didn't bother to specify.

"Oh..." Zero frowned uncertainly.

Kaname couldn't help the slightly tender light that danced in his gaze. Zero hadn't even needed to hear the part about "_Oh, by the way, if you remain exposed too much longer you could end up with the IQ of a vegetable". _Realizing that missing this much of his strength was hurting Kaname was enough to make Zero willingly rush to release what many vampires would have literally killed to obtain. _Yes, that was Zero. _Kaname knew now that his previous fears had been unfounded. Yes, he was supremely vulnerable to Zero and he couldn't change that, but the hunter would not betray him, it was not in his nature.

"I'm not sure _how_ to partially release it..." Zero admitted slowly. He thought it was an all or nothing proposition.

"I'll show you," Kaname assured. "But not just yet. You only just woke up. We should give it a little time before making any changes." Much as the pureblood ached to return to normal, he wanted to be careful. He had waited this long, he could certainly wait a little longer to be sure that Zero really was ready to handle the transfer.

The pureblood was still worried about him, Zero could tell. He resisted the urge to roll his eyes and gave a resigned sigh. "I feel _fine _Kaname," he protested. "And will probably feel much better once I'm not drowning in your overflow..." He looked around the room, remembering a question he'd had before and almost forgotten in the face of everything else. "Where are we, anyway? Whose room is this?"

Kaname's smile grew visibly, almost... eagerly. "This is your room, Zero," he said quietly. "Do you like it? I had it done especially for you."

Zero blinked in surprise. "_Mine_? But... _where_?" he repeated, not sure what else to say.

Kaname explained where they were, and about purchasing the villa and Zero's eyebrows crept slowly higher. _Wow..._ he was out of it for a few weeks and Kaname up and bought a _house _and apparently moved them into it... Zero honestly wasn't quite sure how he felt about that, but the fact that Kaname had obviously tried to craft such an inviting atmosphere for him and put so much thought into it was touching.

"Actually this whole set of rooms is yours," Kaname gestured to doors that disappeared off onto a hidden study and other rooms. "Mine are a little further down, towards the other wing. If you don't like them, we can change the..."

Zero shook his head, interrupting and giving Kaname's arm a small squeeze. It was endearing actually, the way the other vampire was almost rambling. "They're really nice, Kaname, _really _nice. I wouldn't change a thing," he assured with a small, slightly floored smile. That wasn't _quite _true... Zero probably would not have chosen quite so much drapy, hangy stuff, but it was a very small matter, and on the whole, he was actually quite surprised by just how appealing Kaname had made this area.

Perhaps what touched him the most though was what Kaname was giving him besides just walls and furniture. This space, these rooms... it was a place just for him. The pureblood hadn't simply moved him into _his_ room and expected him to be okay with that. That acknowledgement of his individuality somehow meant a lot to the ex-human.

Kaname stilled at Zero's touch, his eyes smiling quietly, glad that his gift had been well received. "We can return to the Academy when we are ready," he added after a moment, not wanting Zero to think he was trying to make too many changes in their lives all at once without consulting the hunter. "But we can't live there forever. Perhaps, if you like it here, we might spend some time here too..."

Zero wasn't quite ready to think about something as far reaching as forever right now. His head ached and he was trying to process quite a lot at one time. Kaname had obviously had weeks to think about all this, but Zero was still trying to grasp the fact that it wasn't raining, they weren't dying, and that... Kaname wasn't going to bind him. For him, it seemed only hours since he'd thought his whole world was ending. This was a beautiful, wonderful change... but it was hard to get his head around it and really accept it, hard to trust it. Not that he didn't trust _Kaname_, it was just... it was a lot all at once.

Kaname seemed to read in Zero's face that the other boy was looking a little lost. His brows furrowed slightly. He'd not meant to overwhelm Zero, he'd just... he'd missed him so much. He'd done a lot of thinking these past weeks, but maybe he needed to explain some of it to the hunter. The pureblood realized with an inner wince that he was using the term _"we" _quite a bit without knowing if Zero wanted to be considered part of that or not.

Deep down... Kaname didn't want to ask. Because asking opened him up for rejection, and he... he knew now he couldn't go on if Zero wanted to walk away from him. But the pureblood had also learned something from the mistakes of the past. He'd been trying to guard his heart all along... and had not only failed utterly and caused himself a lot of pain instead, but he had also ended up hurting Zero and making him think he was little better than a whore. That was unforgiveable. He did not want to make the same errors again, even if it meant he had to let his heart be vulnerable.

"Zero..." the pureblood's eyes were soft and serious now. He cupped the hunter's cheek in his hand, looking at him like nothing else mattered or existed. "I'm not saying you have to want to be here, I... I fear I'm not explaining myself well," he murmured. "I've not explained myself well where you're concerned in a long time, and I'm sorry about that. I've expected you to understand what I think and feel without ever telling you and that wasn't fair of me. I don't want to do that anymore..."

Zero was caught by the depth of the pureblood's gaze. His heart hitched strangely. He deeply wanted and yet almost feared whatever it was the pureblood was trying to say. "Kaname, you don't have to..."

"Yes, I do. Hear me out, please," Kaname said gently, pressing his fingertips lightly to Zero's lips to still him. "There are things I _need_ to say to you, Zero. Things I should have said all along. While you were unconscious, I've had a lot of time to think. So much pain and misunderstanding has been caused because I was too proud or too afraid to tell you what you mean to me. I _want _you to know what you mean to me."

Kaname shifted a little on the edge of the bed to better face the hunter, and Zero watched him, captured by the incredible warmth in those dark chocolate eyes. Despite himself, his breath almost caught.

"I need you, Zero," the pureblood said softly, his hand sliding into Zero's, fingers curling around his. "It still scares me to admit it, but it's true. And it's not just because we're bonded... it's because I treasure you. I _trust_ you. I trust you to tell me what you really think when others only flatter, even if I don't want to hear it. I treasure your courage and your selflessness, how you always put everyone else first. I trust, and treasure your heart, which would make you stand up for even a pureblood vampire who was your enemy and your rival, when he was weak and hurting. I... I care about you, very much," he murmured tenderly, a warm, supreme openness in his eyes.

Zero should have felt embarrassed maybe... but he wasn't. The affection in Kaname's eyes was like water on the dry, aching sponge of his heart and he soaked it up softly, hardly daring to believe.

"I don't understand what all this means, Zero. I feel like that's a shortcoming, like I should have all the answers, but I... I don't..." that was a hard admission, that he was not in control or on top of this situation between them, but he needed to say it, and from the look in Zero's eyes... Zero had needed to hear it.

The hunter continued to hold Kaname's gaze. Somehow, it was deeply reassuring that he was not the only one who felt frustratedly clueless sometimes. He wasn't alone. They were both of them lost in something bigger than they understood... but they were lost together, so perhaps... that meant they weren't really lost at all, but simply trying to find what was the right path for them.

"But I _do_ know that it hurts me, when you're sad. When you wanted to kill yourself, I... I didn't know what to do. I was in despair." Kaname continued. His voice showed the hopelessness he felt then, hurting at his lover's unwillingness to go on living, to keep him company and to take his bitter loneliness away.

"I want to be a reason for you to live..." he whispered, his voice a little hoarse now. "Not another reason for you to hurt. I understand what it is to lose everything, Zero. Maybe not the same way as you have, but I do understand how deeply it hurts, how very alone it makes you feel. I wanted to help, not make you feel even more alone, although... I know now I did. When I realized how much I hurt you when I lost control, I..." Kaname's voice cracked and he had to stop to swallow, his eyes filled with anguish at the memory. "I wanted to die," he finished in a whisper. "You have no idea how much I hated myself."

Zero shook his head, a sheen of tears filling his eyes. Kaname knew the instinctive comfort that the hunter was trying to convey to him and it forced from the pureblood the courage to continue.

"In the flood, you told me I didn't have to do everything alone. That means a lot to me, Zero. When you let me near you, it gives me hope. When you share yourself or your blood with me, it leaves me in awe, wondering what I've done to receive that amount of trust from you."

Zero was staring at him, stunned, hungrily drinking up each word as a small wondering smile blossomed on his lips. Kaname saw that smile and it warmed his hurting heart like nothing else could.

"When you smile at me, Zero... I'm happy," Kaname finished simply. It was an admission of how much his happiness and state of mind, hell, _any part_ of him pretty much depended on the hunter, but Kaname didn't care anymore. If he was not safe with Zero, then life was not worth living. But somehow, he felt he _was _safe. He was handing Zero his heart. He expected nothing in return, but the truth was, Zero already held it, and Kaname wanted him to know that.

"You will hear much about _"your place"_ from other vampires," the pureblood whispered. "But I want you to know that your place is not beneath my feet or kneeling in front of me... it is by my side. But only if... you want it to be."

Zero's heart was tight with so many emotions he felt his body could hardly contain them. He swallowed several times, trying to get back the ability to speak. Kaname's words spoke to everything his heart craved, everything he had conciously or unconciously desired and never dared to hope for. He blinked to try and hold back the moisture in his eyes, but a single tear escaped despite himself. He rubbed it embarrassedly from his cheek, unable to help sniffing softly.

"I... yes," he murmured hoarsely. "I... I do want it to be." The whispered confession was very soft, but deeply meant. It was what his heart burned for, what it desired so deeply he didn't know how to put it into words. "Even when I thought... you were going to bind me, I didn't want to leave you. And later, when we were in the river, I realized I didn't want to die, I wanted to live... because I wanted to see you again. When you're looking at me like this... I – I feel like I own the whole world," he whispered. _I care about you too, Kaname. _

Zero almost flushed again. It was hard for him to say those kinds of things, but he _wanted _to say them, he _needed _to say them. Kaname was right, miscommunication and trying to hedge their bets had already cost them both far too much. Kaname had been very honest with him just now and he wanted to return that trust. As unthinkable as he would have once thought it seemed... he knew he wanted this pureblood in his life. He may not know yet what all that might mean... but that didn't matter. He needed him, and he was deeply, beautifully touched to find out how much Kaname needed him in return.

Kaname's smile turned brilliant even as his own eyes filled with the soft emotion of unshed tears. His heart ached with adoration and relief. _Zero _did_ want to stay with him... he _did_ care._ He leaned in and kissed Zero's eyelids tenderly, tasting the salt of the tears he was trying to hold back and feeling them on his thumb as they escaped silently down the ex-human's cheeks.

Zero's arms slipped around his back and the two of them held onto each other again for a minute or two, foreheads resting together, just soaking up one another's presence after all the hurt and trauma of the past weeks.

Zero felt profoundly at peace like this, yet he was starting to feel increasingly dizzy too. It had been growing while they were talking, but it was now impossible to ignore. The lightheadedness that had been plaguing him was taking over and his body slackened in Kaname's embrace, sliding back towards the bed even as the pureblood's arms tightened to support and hold him.

"Zero?" deep concern had come back into the other's voice. Zero blinked as if hearing him from a great distance off. He realized he was shaking.

"I'm okay..." he murmured, although he clearly wasn't. "I just... I feel so weird. Like I want to climb the walls, but I'm so tired..." Zero pressed his eyes shut, trying to stop the room from spinning. "My head hurts..." he whispered, pain creasing his face softly as Kaname held him close and gently laid him back against the bed again. "A lot," he added, breath starting to quicken from the mounting pain.

Kaname felt worry clutching at him as Zero looked like he might pass out again. They couldn't risk that happening, he was obviously experiencing distress from the overload. It looked like they could wait no longer. Kaname drew Zero back up towards the top of the bed and settled him down comfortably on his back against the pillows once more.

"We need to start releasing the seal now," Kaname said gently. "Your body can't handle this indefinitely." The pureblood unbuttoned his shirt the rest of the way to make things easier. He sat next to Zero on the bed, leaning slightly over him.

Zero felt like he had a migraine now and it was almost impossible to think. "Okay," he murmured trustingly, ready to do whatever Kaname told him to. He pressed the fingers of one hand against the seal on his neck and Kaname guided the palm of his other to rest against the pureblood's chest.

"Just repeat after me, Zero..." he instructed and the hunter gave a small nod. Kaname had had plenty of time to look up how to gradually release a seal while the hunter was unconscious, having known that this moment would eventually come.

_"I release to you, that which I hold..." _Kaname said the ancient words slowly, giving Zero time to murmur each phrase after him. As he did, he felt a growing tingle of warmth between the hunter's hand and his chest.

_"Given in trust and returned willingly..." _Zero was familiar enough with the ancient tongue to loosely translate the words in his mind as he repeated them. _"Let my touch bring you fullness, as yours brought to me. Life into life. Soul into soul." _

Zero felt the pureblood's skin warming under his palm and his gaze deepened as it held Kaname's, faithfully whispering the words he was given. He knew it was just a charm that Kaname was guiding him through, but in some small way... it felt like some kind of vow, or promise. _Let me always try to fill your heart the way you fill mine..._

Kaname was so lost in those deep, silver-amethyst eyes fixed on him that for a moment he almost forgot to finish the charm. _Zero... __"So may it be," _he finished in a whisper, and Zero echoed.

A deep, strong current flowed between them. The power stored in Zero's body flowed outward from his palm on Kaname's breast. The pureblood's chest hitched as the intensely welcome warmth of it flooded into his aching body and he drew in a deep, slow breath, his lips parting slightly in a shivering sigh.

Zero felt the headache gripping him begin to ease mercifully, and the jitters making him tremble eased as well. After a moment though he began to feel faint in a different way, a chill starting to spread through him.

"Enough," Kaname whispered, carefully drawing Zero's hand away from his chest and laying it back on the bed when he saw the other starting to pale. They had only transferred a little power, and Kaname ached incredibly for the warmth of Zero's touch... but this needed to be handled carefully.

"It's begun. To release power from the seal now, you have only to touch me and let your will control how much flows between us when you do. Take it slow, Zero, please..." he requested softly. He didn't want the hunter hurt any further. "We don't have to do this all at once, we can do it little at a time and take breaks in between."

Zero nodded. He was recovering quickly from that most recent bout of faintness and he reached up to softly touch Kaname's chest again. Kaname made as if to stop him, but Zero caught his gaze. "Kaname... trust me," he murmured and the pureblood slowly relaxed, watching him closely, but trustingly.

Zero knew Kaname was worried, but the pureblood was being over cautious. Zero felt _better _with the release of the seal. He would be okay if they took it slow, he was sure. If all he needed to do was touch Kaname... it was not a very hard task.

His hand pressed against the other's warm skin, the gentle touch turning into a soft caress as Zero felt the warmth flowing again from his palm and fingertips. He wasn't really sure how to let his will control it, but he found that if he moved his hand, if he stroked the silky, pale skin, then the transfer seemed to happen more slowly. Zero's breath caught lightly at the incredible sensation of having life itself swirl from his body into that of the other vampire. True, it was Kaname's power, his life that he was merely returning... yet it still felt incredibly special somehow.

Kaname's breath left him in a softly shuddering sigh at the power of Zero's caresses. They naturally filled him with warmth, but the added sensation of having his strength returning to him through that gentle touch was indescribable. He gazed down at Zero in complete adoration as the hunter traced the line of his sternum and then slid his hand up to caress the pureblood's neck.

Kaname felt his limbs go weak when Zero's fingers trailed over his bite area, infusing that sensitive location with the warmth and power flowing between them. He had to put his other hand down on the bed, beside Zero, to support himself, his head hanging slightly, chest heaving softly. Zero's mere touch was undoing him in more ways than one.

Zero's hand slid away, falling softly back to his side. He had to take another break. It was delicious doing this... but it also wore him out quickly. It felt good to give the power back, both because of Kaname's intensely beautiful and thirsty reactions, and because he was already feeling more like himself again. But Kaname had been right. He did need to take this very slow. Prolonged release threatened to make him pass out from the concentrated outflow. As long as he stopped and let himself adjust for a few moments in between though, it seemed to be all right.

He was becoming more tired, however, to the point where even lifting his hand was an effort. "Kaname..." he whispered. "Could you lie beside me? I think it would be easier that way..." For both of them, probably. He could see Kaname's arm trembling as he tried to support himself.

Kaname ached at the loss of Zero's touch, but he tightly controlled his reactions, knowing that Zero _needed _to take breaks and not wanting him to push himself. He smiled at the other's request and shifted to do as asked. Lying on his side next to Zero, his dark hair fanning on the creamy pillow, Kaname reached out and caressed the other's silver hair lightly. He could not touch the hunter's skin without initiating transference, but he _needed _to touch him. "Take your time, Zero. There's no rush," he assured in a slightly husky whisper.

Zero rolled onto his side to face Kaname. The way the pureblood's left arm rested against the bed between them exposed the soft, scarred underside of his forearm. Zero pushed the sleeve a little further up, and once more touched those scars with his lips. He caressed them, kissing the wounded skin tenderly as he let the power flow between them once more. His moist lips and tongue gently traced and worried the uneven lines, feeling the texture and adoring them silently.

Kaname seemed surprised. He groaned softly, finding the areas around the scar tissue to be very sensitive. Zero's attentions were beautiful, but he still ached a bit at having such an imperfect body to offer the other. "Zero... don't..." he murmured hoarsely, barely able to breathe. "They're... they're ugly..."

Zero looked up at him, truly nonplussed. "Idiot..." he murmured softly. "You got these saving others' lives... how can that be ugly?" He reached out and tenderly caressed one of the scars on Kaname's chest, leaning forward and kissing it softly before looking back towards the pureblood again. "I think they're beautiful," he whispered honestly. "Like your heart."

Zero leaned closer again, tenderly kissing and caressing the scars on Kaname's chest. Adoring and lavishing each one attentively, letting the warmth of his sincerity mingle with the warmth of the releasing seal. Maybe the rest of the vampire world _would_ see them as ugly, but Zero did not. Maybe they would see Kaname's gentle heart and willingness to put himself in jeopardy for those whom society deemed less worthy to be weakness or insanity... but Zero knew better. That heart was a treasure, and it was what had first drawn him to Kaname. The rest of the vampire world could just go to hell.

Zero's lips were warm and soft against Kaname's skin and the pureblood groaned softly, fingers lacing in the hunter's hair and caressing his arm despite his efforts not to touch. Zero saw things so differently from everyone else... and Kaname adored him for that. The hunter filled his heart and soul in impossible ways.

Presently they forgot caution, lost in the simple, incredible warmth of touching and tasting, in the power that was flowing between them. Zero felt contented, leaden weariness settling over him, but it was a delicious feeling, like he had been out exercising in the fresh air for hours and was now able to relax in comfortable satisfaction.

The skin under his mouth was smooth now, although he'd been contentedly kissing the same scar above the pureblood's right nipple for the past minute or so. Lifting his head a little, Zero realized that the mark had disappeared and he smiled deeply, laying light, butterfly kisses against the warm skin, moist from his kissing and sucking. He supposed it was probably because Kaname was getting his strength back and his body was starting to mend itself that fast, but in his current relaxed, hazy state Zero rather liked the idea that he'd eased it away with his caresses. That wasn't too far away from the truth actually, since it _was_ his touch that was feeding the pureblood's energy back into his body. _If only he could erase all Kaname's scars that easily. The visible kind... and the invisible kind._ That would make him truly happy.

Kaname was lost in a beautiful sea of Zero's gentle touches and kisses, and the achingly wonderful sensation of feeling like a whole person again. Not just because of his returning power, either. _Zero _made him whole.

Zero shifted, laying his head on the pillow beside Kaname's and tilting the other's head a little so he could reach the thin, ribbed line that snaked across his cheek and jaw. Wrapping an arm around Kaname's waist, Zero kissed and caressed the scar from cheek to chin with slow, adoring thoroughness, feeling it fade and smooth under his touch. The last warm, clear memory he had was of Kaname's perfectly healed skin, and the deep, intense affection and awe in the pureblood's garnet eyes before gentle darkness reached up with velvety but unyielding hands and pulled the hunter down into its peaceful depths.

Zero passed out quietly in Kaname's arms, although it was more like falling into a very deep sleep. Kaname could feel that his vitals were strong so after an initial moment of concern, he relaxed. Rolling Zero a little closer towards him, he kissed the blood seal behind the hunter's ear. It was still in place and still visible because it had not been fully depleted yet. Kaname did not intend for it to become so either. With his lips pressed against the seal, Kaname murmured the invocation to stop the slow-release of power. He had gotten back everything he needed from Zero, the rest was what he'd already given the ex-human to keep.

Kaname's body felt full and strong. He felt blessedly warm and content for the first time in weeks. He was also deeply exhausted. The return of strength had oddly enough been almost as exhausting for him as for Zero... or maybe his body simply knew it needed to shut down in order to fix everything that had been left untended the past two weeks.

Curling up with Zero, holding the hunter close, Kaname let his dark eyes drift slowly closed, memorizing the peaceful; sleeping lines of the dear face on the pillow beside him before sleep gradually claimed the pureblood as well.


	23. Holding One Another Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _A/N: There's actually more I had intended to fit into this chapter, but it ended up quite long enough, so we shall continue on next chapter, ne? ;D Those of you who are current on the most recent installments of the manga will probably guess where I'm going with the hints at the beginning of this chapter... if you're not, then just hang in there and all will be clear in time. :)_

**Chapter Twenty-Three: "Holding One Another Again" **

_"Watch this..." a small silver-haired boy said to another child. The other boy was also small and silver-haired. The mirror image faces had the same uniquely colored eyes. Zero knew where he was. He was in the small garden behind his old house. He and Ichiru used to play here often. _

With the surreal quality of dreams, Zero knew he wasn't really there, he knew he was not the small boy whom he was both watching from a distance and playing the part of at the same time. Subconsciously, his mind tensed. Dreams of the past were never good. They may start innocent, but they always ended in blood.

The hunter shifted slightly, body tensing, a shadow drifting across his features. Just as unconsciously, the graceful arm draped around his waist shifted in response, long fingers splaying in a protective gesture against the ex-human's chest. The pureblood sharing the bed with Zero instinctively cradled him closer, although neither of them woke.

This time though... the dream did not dissolve into piercing eyes, dripping fangs and pools of blood. It remained two children, playing in the garden in more innocent times.

_Ichiru peered over his brother's shoulder to see what he was doing. Zero touched the broad, many-sectioned frond of plant he was crouching in front of with his finger. Almost immediately, the mimosa's multitude of small finger-like leaves folded in on themselves, reducing the broad leaf to a thin stem. Ichiru laughed and knelt beside Zero, eagerly touching one of the other fronds and evoking the same reaction as both boys observed with childish delight and curiosity. _

_But it was no longer mimosas they were looking at now; it was roses – wild, climbing roses like the ones on the trellis near the house. The long, tangled stems curled and spread across the earth like living things, but it was not a frightening sight. In the dream world, it seemed perfectly natural. _

_Some of the vines wrapped around Zero's wrist and ran up his arm... but no... they weren't wrapping around him at all, they were issuing __**from**_ _him. _

Zero's eyes fluttered open. Or he thought they did. He was in the bedroom, in the villa again. He could feel Kaname's warmth pressed comfortably against his back, the pureblood's heartbeat and steady breathing slow with slumber. But the sensation of something twining his arm was still there. Blinking blearily, he looked down... and saw the small, almost hesitant tips of pale, silvery vines extending from his arm. They seemed to be growing out of him, curling against the sheets upon which he rested...

Zero started in shock and the vines retracted. He pushed up on his elbow, his other hand coming up quickly to claw at the strange growth... only to find nothing there. He blinked his blurry eyes in confusion, staring at his arm. It... it had seemed so real... but of course... of _course_ it hadn't been. It was just part of his dream.

He ran his hand through his hair as he sank back down, only partially sure that he was really even awake now at all. His motions had woken the other occupant of the bed and Zero felt a warm hand trail his side sleepily and then brush his neck.

"Everything okay?" Kaname murmured, his voice made slightly husky from sleep.

"Mm," Zero made a non-committal sound of assent as he relaxed against the pillow again, still feeling incredibly tired. "Dream..." he mumbled. _That's all it was. That's all that made sense. _

"Mm," Kaname made an equally indefinite sound and curled up closer against Zero's back, one thigh slipping comfortably between the hunter's legs, an arm curling over his side and around his chest. The pureblood nestled his face against the back and side of Zero's neck. The way he moved said he was still more than half asleep. "Shouldn't have dreams without me..." he murmured, not being entirely clear about whether he meant he should be in them, or he should be sharing them.

It didn't matter, Zero was equally sleepy so it somehow made sense to him and he smiled faintly as his eyes closed again and he let himself relax into the warmth of Kaname's embrace. "I'll try to remember..." he mumbled back dryly. His fingers unconsciously slid up and entwined with Kaname's where they rested against his chest as they both drifted off again.

The light filtering through the UV protected windows was casting in at a different angle by the time Zero finally woke once more. It was more golden-orange in hue as well, signaling an approaching sunset. He must have shifted while he was sleeping, because this time Zero woke to find himself lying on his side, his head resting pillowed on Kaname's arm. The pureblood was lying on his back, dark hair tousled on the pillow, face still serene in sleep. He was only partially underneath the covers and his open shirt had slid further away from his body while he rested, now mostly off one shoulder covering nothing but his arms. The exposed skin of his upper body gleamed softly in the fading light, perfect again, no longer bearing the marks he had carried so long.

Zero lay still for a moment, just listening to the other breathe. Kaname must really have had a rough time these past weeks. The pureblood was usually out of bed before he was. The fact that he knew little things like that suddenly gave Zero pause. How many times had he woken up beside Kaname, or in Kaname's bed that he was so familiar with the other's sleeping habits? Many times. Once that would have made him feel ashamed. Now... now it didn't. A little shy maybe, but... but the sting wasn't there anymore. At least, not quite. Maybe just the lingering echo of one. Change didn't come all at once after all.

For the most part, Zero felt much better than he had before. He still felt kind of weak and wobbly, but the headache and the strange unease were gone. There was something else though... something tight and burning in his chest and as he finally shook all the way free of sleep he knew that it was probably what had awakened him.

He was starving.

It had been weeks since he'd had blood. He may have been able to not need it while Kaname's power was bound to him, but that had been released now and the ex-human's blood lust was threatening to rear its head sharply. He could feel his fangs already extended and pressing against one another. His throat felt like sandpaper.

Kaname's pale, creamy neck was just a few inches away, provocatively exposed by the way his head was canted slightly to one side on the pillow, the faint throb of his pulse just visible under the skin.

Zero's body trembled. There was no resisting it this time, even had he wanted to. He shifted quietly up onto his elbow, leaning over Kaname and closing the small gap between them. He dipped his head to the pureblood's beautiful, inviting throat and sucked warmly on the sensitive skin at the base of neck and shoulder. His fangs were throbbing painfully, but Zero stubbornly refused to just sink them. Kaname let himself be vulnerable around him, felt safe sleeping in his presence... even though Zero knew the pureblood would not deny him; he hesitated, unwilling to possibly breach that trust. It was so hard though... he was desperately thirsty. He mouthed Kaname's neck with soft, intent urgency, licking and sucking.

Kaname awakened to the incredible, delicious sensation of a hot mouth latched onto his neck and the light, promising brush of fangs against his skin. His whole body reacted, already warm and tingling with sensation and arousal even as he was pleasantly dragged from his dreams. He groaned softly in his throat, the vibration of the sound humming against Zero's lips and sending a heated spike through the hunter.

Kaname could feel the tremble in the body lying against and partially over his. He knew how long it had been for Zero, and was well aware what he needed. Zero would always need more deeply, always hunger more intensely than any born vampire ever would, but that was... _precious_, to Kaname. It made something inside him feel fulfilled to be needed, to know that there was something he could do, something he could give his lover. Being woken like this was delightful.

One hand slid up to tangle with sleepy clumsiness in Zero's hair, cradling the back of his head encouragingly. Kaname tipped his head farther back on the pillow, giving the other vampire full access. "Zero..." the pureblood whispered in a voice husky with sleep and pleasure, his pulse quickening under Zero's tongue.

It was all the invitation the ex-human needed. With a soft, breathless groan, Zero let his fangs break skin, penetrating the pureblood hungrily but carefully. Rich, crimson life flowed into his mouth and his body sagged a little against Kaname's, almost weak with relief at the delight of the familiar taste and sensation of that heady nectar. Warmth filled him as Kaname's blood slaked the aching thirst inside him. Kaname's taste, the softness of his skin, the faint scent of his shampoo from the dark hair on the pillow, the strong firmness of his chest, now so close to Zero's, the indefinable connectedness that came when two vampires shared blood... all those things pervaded the hunter's senses.

Zero had all but collapsed against Kaname's chest, fingers curling unconsciously tightly into the sheets on either side of him as he focused on drinking. Kaname wrapped his arms around the other's back, long fingers caressing the ex-human's shoulder blades and tracing the line of his spine. Zero's pajama shirt was soft under his fingers and he could clearly feel the delectable ripple of the muscles underneath it as the hunter shifted against him, rocking ever so slightly back and forth as he drank.

Zero's mouth moved slowly against Kaname's neck. With his initial urgency sated by Kaname's delicious blood, he was able to drink more slowly, savoring and drawing out the experience. It wasn't just the taste of Kaname's blood that enthralled him at moments like this, nor even the drug-like high it gave him; it was also the intimacy of the act. It was the way Kaname's body responded to him so deeply and readily. The soft, almost ragged edge that his breathing took on. The way he would hold Zero as if he never wanted the hunter to stop. The way their rapidly pounding hearts so often ended up thudding in perfect rhythm. Kaname's always synced to his. He'd noticed this on previous occasions, but it had never really sunk in before. Surely, it would seem more natural for the reverse to be true... but the pureblood's body always fell into _his_ rhythm when they were close like this.

Zero let his tongue play against Kaname's skin, teasing just below where his fangs were buried while keeping his lips carefully sealed over the area so as to not spill. He was skilled enough by now to not lose a drop of the other vampire's blood on the soft cream sheets. With sensual deliberateness, he rocked his fangs slowly in and out of the wound track, not pulling out completely, but moving inside the pureblood's flesh as he liked to do.

Kaname's head arched back against the pillow with a soft gasp, his arms tightening around Zero's back, fingertips digging into the back of his ribs, his pleased reaction echoing through both bodies. He'd come to love it when Zero did that, and it was unbearably exotic when the ex-human was being slow and tender about it.

Kaname's reaction was beautiful and Zero's chest shuddered against him in rapture. He continued to nurse blood slowly from the other's body, continued to rock his fangs slowly, gently, seductively until Kaname was fairly whimpering from ecstasy. The ex-human adored how sensitive the pureblood's neck was. His own was sensitive as well, but not as sensitive as Kaname's, he was sure of that.

Kaname had lost awareness of everything but the sensation of Zero's warm, pleasantly heavy body resting against his and the incredible pleasure of the ex-human's touch. By the time Zero finally disconnected and carefully licked Kaname closed before releasing him, the pureblood could barely think. For the first time in a long time he felt like himself, and he had Zero back in his arms...

Zero's head bowed against his shoulder, the other's body slack now, shivering slightly against him. Zero was still recovering and large amounts of Kaname's blood always hit him like a shot of narcotics. The pureblood was well aware of that, and his lover's light daze, the open vulnerability he displayed at moments like this was intensely compelling.

Tenderly, Kaname turned over, rolling Zero under him and settling the ex-human on his back on the mattress, adoring the way his short silver hair fanned on the pillow, the way his pale face was flushed lightly and his amethyst eyes glazed as if slightly intoxicated. Zero's body was supple and compliant under him as the pureblood dipped his head to lavish heated kisses across the other's throat and collarbones, fingers sliding swiftly to the buttons on the soft pajama shirt and undoing them, his hands almost trembling from the strength of his desire for the other vampire.

He straddled Zero as he pushed his shirt open, hands and mouth hungrily mapping that delicious, intoxicating expanse of toned muscle and pale flesh. Kaname's head was almost spinning with desire, nearly as hungry for Zero as the hunter had been for his blood a few minutes ago. Zero had been without blood for two weeks... and Kaname had been without Zero. He missed the touch of his body so much that it physically ached.

Zero felt pleasantly out of it as Kaname laid him down, lavishing him with attentive caresses and kisses and making his dazed body sing with delight. His breath hitched in his throat and his insides thrilled softly. Kaname felt _so _good... the pureblood's near urgency was both compelling and pleasurable to him. It had apparently been a long time, even if it didn't feel so to him, and he could tell Kaname neededhim.

Ingrained habits and his own hazy state led him to simply relax back against the bed, more than content to let Kaname do as he pleased in return for the beautiful warmth flowing through him, and the delicious sensations being coaxed from his body.

Kaname seemed to sense the other's soft surrender and he paused, hand resting still on Zero's chest. He could feel the ex-human's heart racing like his own, could feel the rise and fall of his rapid breathing under his fingers... but Zero was only lying passively, letting the pureblood do as he would, and Kaname was suddenly unsure. Did that mean Zero _wanted_ him to continue, or was Zero merely _paying a debt? _Kaname was still deeply hurt to think that he might have misread Zero's passivity as consent in the past. He knew the hunter had misinterpreted their relationship, and he couldn't risk such things happening again.

He eased back a little, leaning up on his other elbow, hand still resting tenderly on Zero's chest. Zero opened his eyes, shooting Kaname a puzzled look, wondering why he'd stopped.

"Zero..." Kaname murmured. "I know there was some... confusion... in the past, about why I shared my blood with you." His hand slid up Zero's chest, long fingers lightly reaching to stroke the hunter's smooth cheek. "I just... I just want you to know, if it seemed like I always wanted to be with you after you would drink, it wasn't because I needed _payment _or anything like that." There was a flicker of pain in his eyes, and he still said it like it was a dirty word. "It's just that... it feels so _good_, Zero, when you drink from me..." his voice had dipped to a slightly more husky timber. "It makes me want to be close to you... to be part of you..." he whispered.

He sank down, letting his head rest on Zero's chest, just listening to the other's heartbeat. His arms curled at the hunter's sides. As long as Zero let him be close, he would try not to care in what capacity it was. "I want to make love to you, Zero..." he murmured. "But only if you want me to."

Intense warmth flooded Zero's chest. Kaname's hesitant gentleness and consideration was unexpected and very precious to the ex-human. For so long, he'd felt like nothing belonged to him anymore, not even his own body. He knew now, that was not true, and that it hadn't ever been true, but the scars from having so long believed a lie were still there. Kaname's earnest words, and earnest desire to make sure that what he wanted was what Zero wanted, put the choice back in his lover's hands.

_Lovers. _They _were_ lovers, not a master and a slave. Not a courtesan and their benefactor. Lovers. Friends. Somehow, the look in Kaname's eyes a moment ago seemed to reach right in and touch Zero's old, internal scars, soothing them away to nothing as surely as Zero's releasing the blood seal had melted away the physical ones Kaname had been carrying.

Zero truly appreciated that Kaname was offering him the choice of saying no. But right now, that was the last thing he wanted. The pureblood's gentleness only made Zero want him all the more. He ached to become physically one with him. He wanted to pull him into his body, into his heart, into his soul.

"I want to," Zero murmured warmly, huskily, his fingers curling in Kaname's hair as it rested against his chest, his other hand sliding down the graceful curve of the pureblood's back. _I want you to be part of me..._

"Make love to me, Kaname..." Zero whispered hesitantly. For once, he couldn't feel ashamed, maybe a little embarrassed, a little hesitant at the words, but not ashamed. It was what he _wanted _and it was what Kaname wanted... and if this powerful, dynamic, delightful, sensual man was not ashamed to want to make love to him... why should he be?

The pureblood lifted his head, a warm haze of arousal and adoration in his eyes as they met and held Zero's. The hunter felt a deep shiver trace up his own spine. Slowly, Kaname slid up Zero's chest, his lips brushing the other's smooth skin. He paused by one pale nipple, kissing and mouthing it tenderly, licking and tasting as if the hunter was the most delicious and incredible thing in the world.

Zero inhaled sharply, swallowing a moan, his back arching slightly against the bed at the nearly electric touch of those devastatingly skilful lips. He found himself panting softly as Kaname pleasurably tortured first one sensitive nub and then the other with wicked slowness, his fingers caressed every available inch of the hunter's skin, easing his pajama shirt off his shoulders.

Leaving one stiffly aroused nipple behind, Kaname moved back to the other again. The skin was still moist and flushed from his previous ministrations and Zero did moan this time as the pureblood's mouth closed over it again, sucking, licking and nipping.

Zero struggled out of the sleeves of his shirt, hands sliding up to Kaname's shoulders, pushing free the loose shirt he was still partially wearing. It slid down the pureblood's back catching at the elbows, and Zero's hands followed, needing to touch, to caress...

Kaname switched sides again and Zero's fingers knotted in the shirt. His nipples were now wickedly sensitive and he was so hard it hurt. Kaname was driving him crazy.

"Unhh... Kaname..." he protested in a moan of agonized delight that only just barely managed to sound peeved. His hips arched towards the pureblood, body throbbing with the need for contact.

Kaname smiled against his skin, Zero could _feel _it and he tried to scowl as those chocolate eyes lifted momentarily to meet his. Kaname slowly and deliberately licked the tip of Zero's painfully aroused nipple and the ex-human's body shuddered.

"You're so delicious, Zero... so beautiful... I can never get enough of you..." he murmured, warm breath brushing across moist, flushed skin. His hands slid to the waist of the loose pajama pants Zero was wearing, fingers teasing all along the elastic waistband without breaching it.

Zero lifted his hips a little, thrusting up and pressing against Kaname's equally hard body. He couldn't hold back another soft little groan, wanting to be rid of his pants as much as Kaname wanted to get him out of them.

But the pureblood did not give in to his desire to tear the clothing from his lover's body and instead delighted in taking it almost painfully slow, kissing and teasing Zero's chest and stopping to dip a wickedly delightful tongue into his navel, sending strange, churning fissions of sensation whirling and knotting through the hunter's stomach.

"K-Kaname..." Zero murmured somewhat shakily as he fell back against the bed, his chest heaving as his lover moved slowly and deliberately down his abdomen, hands stroking his thighs through the soft material of his pajamas.

"Mm?" Kaname murmured back with heated distraction as he slowly teased the elastic waistband of Zero's pajamas with his teeth, his partially aroused fangs catching at the material lightly and tugging it down a little, exposing more of Zero's flat, toned abdomen. The pureblood thought Zero was urging him to hurry again, but the hunter surprised him.

"I... I like it too," Zero said quietly, his eyes fluttering closed, lips parted in a silent inhale as Kaname cupped his warm firmness through his pajamas. "I mean... when I drink your blood. Or you drink mine," he whispered, leaning up a little on his elbows so he could look down at Kaname, who had paused and was now looking up at him with a soft, unreadable expression.

"It... it makes me feel like that too," the mumble was husky and a trifle embarrassed, but Zero felt he should say it since Kaname had confided in him. The stubbornly honest part of the hunter didn't find it fair to leave Kaname perhaps thinking he was the only one of them that was affected that way.

Kaname's smile deepened. He knew Zero responded to the sharing of blood, but he had still needed to hear that, needed to hear that Zero wanted him too, that he was not alone in this deep, passionate desire that was so strong it still had the ability to almost frighten him with its depth. The hunter's shy hesitancy was lovely though. "Makes you feel like _what_...?" he queried with innocent devilishness.

Zero knew Kaname knew perfectly well what he meant from the warm, soft spark in the other vampire's dark eyes, but the mischievous grin told him the pureblood was in a playful mood. Zero leveled him with as much of a glare as he could muster. "What do you _think..._"

Before he could finish, Kaname gracefully yanked his pajamas down his hips and swallowed him.

Zero's back arched, hips thrusting up automatically and his words turned into a soft, startled cry of hoarse delight. The ex-human literally couldn't think for a moment. His fingers knotted into the sheets beside him, hips thrusting mindlessly into the warm, welcoming heat as Kaname cupped his backside, lifting him slightly off the mattress.

Just as suddenly as he'd started, Kaname released him, pressing light kisses on Zero's hard, trembling length before bending forward again so he was leaning on his arms over Zero's chest, enjoying the sight of the shivering, flushed boy on the sheets beneath him. "Feel like what...?" he prompted again, his hand sliding teasingly across Zero's hard body. He caressed the hunter's sensitive, weeping tip, wetting his fingers with the moisture before they dipped down lower between Zero's legs, suggestively probing his lover's tight entrance.

Zero could barely breathe as he looked up into that handsome, playful, adoring face hovering over him. "Aroused," he tried to retort dryly, but it ended up more of a panting rasp. "_Aroused_, all right? Geez, Kaname, you're such a..."

The slick finger pushed forward into his body. Zero broke off again with a sharp little inhalation of breath. He winced with both pain and pleasure, although mostly the latter. Kaname didn't push too hard at first, moving slowly to minimize the initial pain as he gradually worked it deeper. "I hope you were going to say _'tender and considerate lover'_..." Kaname teased as he added another finger and pushed them both deep in a slow, graceful slide that made Zero's gut summersault.

Kaname's face was painted with a faint flush of desire, his eyes beautifully glazed with it as he plumbed the other's body, feeling his tight heat with agonizing anticipation and soaking up every single ripple of pleasure that washed across his lover's features.

Zero smiled at him, a little shaky as the pureblood slowly stretched him, heated warmth flowing from his touch. "More like _'jerk'..._" he murmured, although his tone suggested otherwise. His breath quaked a bit raggedly as those long fingers took him deep enough to stroke the sensitive area in his core that sent raw darts of pleasure curling through his stomach and jolting straight to his groin. His head fell back and he gritted his teeth in a delighted but agonized grimace as Kaname added a third finger and the stretch began to hurt. He unconsciously shifted his legs a little farther apart, knees spread outside Kaname's thighs, his fingers tangling in Kaname's hair as the pureblood knelt between his legs, leaning over him.

Kaname heard Zero whimper softly through his teeth and knew he wasn't quite wet enough anymore. That was easy to fix... reaching out distractedly, Kaname _tugged _the nearby dresser drawer open with his mind and plucked out the tube he knew was inside, calling it to his hand.

Zero gave him a heated, amused look. _Gee, how did _that _just happen to be there? _

Kaname merely grinned as he squeezed some of the tube's contents onto his fingers. _I'm a pureblood, I always plan ahead..._

The words didn't need to be said, they bantered fondly with their eyes as Kaname's fingers slid back to their task.

Zero tensed slightly at the cool feeling of the gel, but it warmed quickly with application, Kaname's fingers now coaxing incredible sensations from him as they slid easily within his body. He squirmed on the bed, chest heaving raggedly at how unbelievably good it felt. Kaname knew exactly how to touch him, inside and out, one hand now stroking his hard flesh while the other slid in and out of his body, overloading his senses. He wasn't going to be able to take much more of this stimulation. Kaname was already drawing him towards the point of no return, but as delightful as this was...

Zero pushed himself up, reluctantly pulling away from Kaname's delightful hands as he knelt in front of the other on the bed, his palms traveling urgently across Kaname's chest and down his sides, the heated tremble of his limbs obvious in the hot, shaky kisses he pressed against Kaname's neck and shoulder. He cupped the pureblood's firm backside, pushing himself against his lover's still clothed body with a groan that was almost a whimper.

Zero was very close to the edge and he was trying to delay the inevitable even as his body begged for it. As much as he needed that... he also needed _this... _to touch, to taste, to explore. It thrilled his heart as well as his body as his hands mapped Kaname's finely muscled frame, as he felt the other pressed flush against him, felt the thrum of his pulse, of his heartbeat...

Zero tugged at Kaname's shirt, almost in too much of a rush to manage to get it off. He was so close he could hardly think, but he knew what he wanted.

Kaname's eyes were deeply shot through with black as his arms curled around Zero's waist, the hunter's flushed, lithe, naked body pressing urgently against him. He sucked his breath in sharply, heart and body pounding ruthlessly now with the intense weight of his desire. _Oh God... _Zero was a passionate lover, but rarely was he so obviously _into_ _it_ without being coaxed.

Kaname shed his shirt quickly at Zero's urgings, almost tearing it off both in his desire to remove the remaining barriers between them, and in his desire to give Zero whatever it was he desired. His hand slid down between their bodies, stroking the hunter's hard, trembling flesh adoringly, clearly able to tell how close Zero was and how urgent was his need. Zero's hand closed over his though, stopping him as the ex-human leaned against him, trembling and breathing hard, struggling to stay on top of his surging sensations that had him dangerously near the crest again.

"Not yet..." he murmured hoarsely in answer to the faint hint of question on his lover's face. "I-I..." he couldn't voice out what he wanted, it was too damn embarrassing and his already flushed body flushed hotter.

Kaname looked at him with a deep, open gaze. He'd give this man anything, even the heart right out of his chest if that's what Zero wanted. The pureblood was almost physically in pain from how aroused he was, but right now all he wanted to do was pleasure his lover. He ached and burned to make him happy, to do whatever it was the silver-haired vampire's heart desired.

He captured Zero's face tenderly in his hands, kissing his jaw and his ear as Zero shook against him from his struggle to stay in control. "Anything, Zero..." he promised in a husky whisper that was raw with honesty and yet silky with seduction. "I'll do anything you want, just tell me..."

Zero shuddered against him, fingers clutching at Kaname's deliciously naked back as his lover's words themselves almost threatened to undo him. Yes, it was embarrassing, but... but... Kaname was worth it. He could trust him.

Zero's hands fell to the catch on Kaname's pants, undoing them and pushing them partially down the pureblood's strong, slender hips. "I-I want... _you_..." he mumbled quickly, head still bowed in Kaname's grip as if he couldn't quite look at him. Somehow, admitting he wanted the physical aspect of their joining was a lot more embarrassing than just asking Kaname to make love to him.

Kaname's breath froze in his chest and for half a second he couldn't breathe for the heat and intense adoration searing through him. _That_ was what Zero wanted..? The sheer delight of having Zero want him so much and the cool brush of air against his suddenly exposed flesh made the pureblood gasp softly. Zero's downturned face was still between his hands and Kaname tenderly tipped his chin up, making the other look at him, letting Zero see the intense, soul deep affection and awe in his dark eyes.

Kaname looked at him like he was something so unbelievably precious it defied description, and Zero's embarrassment faded under the weight of his desire to claim and be claimed, to give himself to the pureblood, for once not because he thought he had to... but solely because he _wanted _to. It was such a freeing feeling.

Zero reached for the tube of lube Kaname had left lying on the sheets nearby and squeezed some into his palm, his hand closing quickly around the pureblood's hard body. Kaname's breath shuddered and he tensed, hands sliding to grip Zero's shoulders as his eyes finished their transformation to dark pools of sheer desire. Zero stroked him with a closed fist, fingers sliding with exotic ease as he spread the swiftly warming gel across his lover's skin.

Kaname held very still, his stomach turning flips and his groin pulsing with fire as it seemed all the blood in his body pooled to that region under the slick, inviting friction of Zero's touch. Amethyst eyes rimmed dark with desire caught and held him in their gaze with such heated intentions the pureblood thought Zero was going to undo him on the spot.

So rapidly it was barely visible, the pureblood shed his remaining clothing and pulled Zero close to him. Naked bodies probed and slid against one another as they knelt on the bed, lithe frames straining and quaking with desire as they molded together. With one hand on his lover's back, Kaname pulled Zero onto his lap so the ex-human was straddling his thighs, Zero's arousal digging into his stomach.

Zero felt Kaname's hard, slick body pressing against him and he closed his eyes, pressing his forehead against Kaname's shoulder, hands gripping the pureblood's upper arms as he let himself be pulled closer and positioned.

Kaname spread his legs a little more, forcing Zero's wider apart as he cupped the round, inviting curve of the ex-human's backside, one cheek in each hand. He teased his lover with the hard, blunt tip of his arousal, making Zero shudder deliciously against him before the pureblood's grip tightened and he pulled the delightfully spread body down upon him.

Zero gave a sharp, breathless groan as he felt the pureblood fill him. The initial moments were always a bit painful and he held onto Kaname tightly, fingers digging hard into his arms, breath rasping rapidly against his shoulder as the pureblood claimed him slowly, guiding Zero's hips down onto his as he seated himself a few incredible inches at a time.

Kaname's breath came quick against Zero's neck as the delightful heat of his lover's body swallowed him, gripping so tightly he had to struggle to control his desire to bury himself too swiftly.

Moist bodies moved together easily and Kaname was careful, so by the time he'd claimed the other boy to the hilt, their hips pressed intimately tight against one another, the pain had completely faded and only raw, throbbing pleasure pulsed inside the hunter's body. Zero almost sobbed at the intensity of the sensation, able to do nothing but cling to Kaname for a moment lest he lose himself on the spot. He buried his face in Kaname's hair. This was what he'd wanted. He'd wanted to feel Kaname like this, while he was still spinning from drinking his blood and still flushed unbearably with urgent arousal. Wanted both the physical and emotional intimacy of the act.

Kaname's hands tightened on Zero's backside. Feeling Zero tremble against him, body rippling and tensing around his was almost more than he could stand. He was holding Zero very vulnerably in his arms, spread over his lap, yet in a way he felt equally vulnerable because it was his heart he was giving the hunter every time they made love. It always had been... he had simply tried not to see it before. He knew now though. This young man was his world.

Gripping Zero, Kaname lifted his hips and then rocked them down again, pushing up at the same time, thrusting deeply within his lover's body.

Zero groaned in pleasure against his shoulder, continuing to hold onto him as he was taken. It was all the ex-human could do swim through the marvelous sensations and he let Kaname control their pace, body pliant in his grasp, hips moving with soft urgency. He was still so dangerously close to the edge, he feared losing it at any moment, and although his body very much wanted to... he really wanted this to last a little longer. Pleasure was surging hot in his gut though and the sensation of Kaname moving within him, of his own flesh pressing and rubbing against the pureblood's taut stomach... it was too much. He whimpered in his throat at the unstoppably building tension in his groin.

Kaname took Zero slowly; knowing that to move too fast would try even his control at this point. Zero was obviously struggling to hold out, to prolong their joining, and Kaname wanted to please him. Exerting a small, unobtrusive bit of control over the ex-human's body, the pureblood helped give him what he wanted, silently denying the other vampire's body the ability to find release until Kaname allowed it to do so. Such a thing was fairly easy between a pureblood and an ex-human, and Zero was completely open to him right now.

Zero's breath hissed harshly through his teeth as his gut snapped tight... but did not tumble him over the edge just yet. Instead he merely seemed to hang there, caught in the delightful, relentless pleasure of being two steps from completion without making the final plunge. He didn't know what Kaname was doing, or why he felt this way, but it was the sweetest kind of agony he had ever experienced, like being caught and held on the verge of orgasm.

Kaname continued to thrust slowly in and out of his body, holding him close, letting the shocking pleasure twine with the intimacy of their hearts pounding against one another, bodies merged to oneness in the expression of their feelings for one another. Zero groaned softly each time the pureblood struck deep, losing all sense of time and reality as he hung in a long, perfect, beautifully extended moment of intimacy.

Kaname was equally lost. The perfection of holding Zero like this, of adoring him with mind, body and heart... he never wanted it to end. Vampire bodies permitted that wish to a fuller extent than Zero would have believed possible as minute after unbelievable minute slipped by. Kaname made love to him in every sense of the word, kissing the ex-human's shoulders and neck, whispering soft words of praise and adoration in his ear as he continued to steadily, gracefully claim the body spread over his. Minutes passed, no way to tell how many, it could have been a couple; it could have been a lifetime.

Kaname's breath was becoming ragged, he wanted to hold Zero forever, but his need was not going to allow him to keep this up much longer.

Zero was lost, his pleasure-tense body relying totally on Kaname's for support. Kaname's scent, his touch, his body surrounded him, filled him, felt like the beginning and the end of the world. Zero's thighs trembled and his chest and stomach heaved with the unbelievably prolonged sensations racking his body. It was almost more than he could stand, and yet it was utterly delicious. He was sure now Kaname must be doing something to him for him to feel this way. He trembled against the other, barely able to do anything but feel.

"Kaname..." he moaned softly, the sound heavy with breathless ecstasy. "Please..." he was in heaven, but he couldn't take much more.

Neither could Kaname. With a soft groan, the pureblood stepped things up, his thrusts coming faster and even deeper now, striking hard against the sensitive area inside Zero and making the hunter's body jerk with the intense, almost blinding pleasure of each motion.

Zero's arms curled around Kaname's neck, hanging onto him, a silent scream muffled against the pureblood's skin as pleasurable fire seared his body in unrelenting waves. He shuddered and convulsed as if he was coming, but he wasn't, not yet... Kaname hadn't released him yet. So the pleasure just built and built until he was aware of nothing but the sensations shredding beautifully through his body.

Kaname took his lover's trembling body hard now, their hips slamming together, urgently needing to feel every inch of beautiful friction that the ex-human had to offer. The sheer pleasure radiating from his lover echoed across their bond and swirled with his own, kicking him well into overdrive.

Their perspiration slicked bodies heaved and strained against one another, hearts pounding wildly and passionately. Zero was shuddering so hard against his chest it was almost convulsions. He repeated his lover's name like a hoarse, gasped mantra. "Kaname... Oh God... please..." he begged. He felt like he was going to pass out from the bliss.

Kaname kissed his neck with tender passion, and released him from his will.

White-hot pleasure slammed into Zero so hard he cried out, the unbearable sexual tension knotting his body finally allowed to find expression as he climaxed hard in his lover's arms.

Kaname felt the warmth of his lover's pleasure against his stomach and held the wildly trembling body tightly as Zero thrust back urgently against him, or tried to anyway, the hunter was so overwhelmed he was almost flailing.

Kaname pushed Zero's shaking body quickly but tenderly onto his back on the bed, thrusting deeply between his legs and stroking him as he milked every last drop of pleasure from his lover. Zero's head tossing on the pillow, the way his body convulsed wildly around Kaname's sensitive flesh and his hoarse, pleasured cries were far too much stimulation for the pureblood's already deeply keyed up body and he too found himself swallowed whole by a blinding wave of pleasure, his pleasure overflowing into his lover's body.

They collapsed together on the tangled sheets, thudding hearts, trembling limbs and flushed bodies. Kaname remained seated in his lover's body for now, needing the connectivity, and Zero seemed to have no objections, his shaky legs curling around the back of Kaname's thighs, hands resting on the pureblood's sides, a little too wrung out to make it all the way around his back.

Kaname felt deliciously leaden and completed. He lifted his head with effort, drawn by the compelling desire to kiss Zero's damp shoulder softly, adoringly, his fingers stroking the hunter's hair.

Zero floated a little, somewhere slightly between reality and semi-consciousness for a few moments before everything started to clear a little once more. He felt deeply sated and Kaname's warm kisses made him sigh silently in contentment. _Wow... _

Soon as he could move again, the ex-human's fingers trailed lightly through Kaname's damp, curly hair, a faint look of awe mingled with his contentment, both because of the incredibleness of what they had shared... and because he didn't have to feel guilty or used afterwards.

They lay together that way for a little while. Kaname was still firm and every now and again he would move slowly inside Zero, stroking and caressing him tenderly, making the warm body under him shudder softly and the slowing breath hitch just a little more pronouncedly.

"Kaname..." Zero finally murmured, finding his voice strangely hard to work properly.

"Mm?" Kaname lifted his head from his lover's shoulder, holding him with a tender, open gaze. Zero was incredible, simply incredible... and Kaname had been telling the truth earlier. He really would never get enough of him. Even now, he was starting to throb warmly, familiar tendrils of desire fingering through his stomach... ready to make love to him all over again.

Zero smiled hazily, shifting with a soft exhale as Kaname's hips moved against him again, stroking his somewhat sore and deliciously sensitive body. He shrugged slightly. "Nothing, I just like saying it..." he murmured.

Kaname's smile deepened. "Was it good?" he inquired with that soft, playful light back in his eyes.

Zero was too deliciously warmed and glowing to feel anything else and his eyelids merely fluttered shut in sated exhaustion, his breath catching once more as Kaname thrust yet again, a little more firmly this time. Warmth tingled and swirled in his still trembling insides. If the pureblood kept that up...

"Yeah..." he murmured in assent, head arching back a little on the pillow as Kaname continued to rock against his very sensitized body in slow, tender motions.

"Good..." the pureblood purred and Zero opened his eyes to find those beautiful dark eyes watching him with an obvious spark of heated intent in their adoring gaze. The pureblood's movements became steadier, now obviously aimed to coax an answering response from his still recovering lover.

Zero groaned in both amusement and a faint hint of re-warming desire. "Kaname, you're hopeless..."

The pureblood changed his angle slightly, striking the right spot to make Zero's sated body start to sit up and take notice again. He enjoyed the hunter's small gasp and the way Zero's hands slid further up around his back. It had been far too long... Kaname intended to make up for lost time. He could happily spend eternity making love to Zero... or at least tonight.

"Yes, I am..." Kaname murmured back softly. "Without you, I am hopeless, Zero..."

The look in the pureblood's eyes seemed to go straight through Zero's heart. He swallowed a bit raggedly and pulled Kaname close, their hearts slowly starting to speed up together once more as they moved against one another on the bed.


	24. Facing the Future Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _A/N: Well, the lemons just wouldn't let me go. *coughs* LOL sooo... yeah. Lemon warnings on this chapter. If you don't like m/m, better skip this one. We'll start getting back to the actually story next chapter, honest. ;) I'm taking some liberties with Zero's abilities regarding the whole vine thing, as I don't know if in canon they could work or behave the way I have them doing here. But I figure that in the manga, we only get to see them thus far as weapons and in a situation when Zero is wildly disturbed, hurt and enraged. If the situation was different... who knows, right? Anyway, this story is already AU, so what's a little more? ;D _

**Chapter Twenty-Four: "Facing the Future Together" **

One set of long pale fingers grippefd gently on either side of a softly heaving ribcage, another set tangled in mussed brown hair as two sets of hips moved together with rhythmic urgency.

Zero groaned something against the side of Kaname's neck that sounded halfway between a whimper and a moan, pleasure shuddering through his body. He fell back against the pillow, eyes completely glazed, body trembling from sensation and exhaustion as he clung to his lover.

Kaname's breaths came in soft, controlled shudders as he firmly but tenderly continued to plumb the depths of the boy in his arms, adoring Zero with every inch of his body and every fiber of his soul. He was nearing crescendo again, but he kept his deep thrusts even and as careful as his thrilling body was able to manage. He and Zero had made love many times already, the night fading into an incredible blur of decadent, sensual pleasure and fulfilling intimacy. It felt somehow as if they had a lifetime of catching up to do, so many months of pain and misunderstanding to wash away with gentle touches and passionate pleasure.

But Kaname was aware that their prolonged, repeated activities came at a certain cost to his partner. He could feel the slight wince in Zero's muscles, heard the hitch in his breath and the soft gasps he tried to suppress when his lover entered him. So the pureblood was careful with the hunter's tender body, giving pleasure with every movement, his skillful fingers stroking Zero's sides, his thighs, his arousal, keeping the ex-human in a constant state of bliss.

Zero's fingers combed through Kaname's hair, knotting in the soft tresses at the nape of his neck when Kaname shifted a little and struck an especially pleasurable place inside him. Zero's brows creased in a weary, intoxicating mixture of agony and delight. The pale eyes fluttered shut. They'd been in each other's arms so long it felt like they really had physically merged on some level. Zero felt very fulfilled. He was deliciously but thoroughly exhausted. If Kaname wasn't still making love to him, he might have fallen asleep. He had teased the pureblood about being hopeless and insatiable before, but it really was true, Kaname's sheer ability and appetite was incredible.

Zero was spent, but Kaname could still make his tired body thrill with each touch, and seeing the building light of ecstasy on his partner's flushed, open face made the ex-human's heart thud softly. He felt pretty sore by now, but Kaname didn't let him _really_ hurt and the tenderness just added to the overall sensations.

Kaname leaned on one elbow over Zero, stroking his lover's body in coaxing manner with his other hand, his grip growing firmer and more demanding as his breath shortened. Zero's eyes quickly fluttered open again. The increasing rapidity of Kaname's breathing, the trembling of his body as it pressed against the other vampire's and the uneven urgency of his pace indicated that the pureblood was close to finding climax once more. He obviously wanted to give Zero pleasure too, but the hunter stopped him. Zero disentangled one hand from Kaname's hair and reached down between them, catching his lover's wrist.

"I can't, Kaname. I'm... I'm good," he murmured in explanation when Kaname's questioning gaze quickly snapped up towards him. He gave a faint, ruefully exhausted smile. The ex-human was enjoying this, but he was utterly spent. He knew Kaname would try to pleasure him too, but it wasn't going to happen right now and the stimulation was a little too much.

Kaname paused instantly, although it was obviously almost painful for him to do so. His breath shuddered softly between flushed, slightly parted lips which revealed just the barest glint of fangs. His pale, toned chest heaved with his need to finish. But his dark, pleasure glazed eyes were concerned as they held Zero's.

"Oh..." he murmured. He dipped his head and kissed Zero's chest softly, his dark hair brushing the others flushed skin. "Sorry," he whispered, feeling he should have been paying more attention to his lover's body. He knew Zero's tolerances and endurance were different than his own. Kaname's body was burning and begging... so close... he was so close... but he wouldn't push Zero. He didn't want to hurt him.

Kaname's hips had fallen still and he remained so, even though Zero could feel the agonized tremble in the pureblood's body, the shaky hitch in his breathing as those warm, moist lips kissed his skin so gently. After a moment, Zero realized with a small start that Kaname was trying to cool down, trying to force his wildly aroused body to calm.

Warmth swelled softly in his chest. Had Kaname taken what he'd said to mean that he wanted to stop? That he expected Kaname to drop his own need just like that? Zero wouldn't do that to him...

The hunter's hands slid down Kaname's back, cupping his backside. He squeezed the round, inviting flesh softly and gave a small, meaningful tug, his knees hugging Kaname's hips. "I didn't mean _stop_..." he murmured in amusement.

Kaname lifted his head and the relieved, delighted, almost grateful look in his eyes made Zero's smile widen slightly. _Damn... this man had worked his way straight under his skin and into his heart in such impossible ways... _

Kaname gave a small groan as his hips flexed once against his partner, his whole body shuddering at the contact, at the urgently needed friction. His hand found Zero's cheek. _You sure? _His silent gaze seemed to ask.

Zero gave a little nod. It gave him pleasure to see Kaname's pleasure and there was something incredibly dear and compelling about the pureblood when he got near the brink and looked so beautifully desperate.

Kaname's body shuddered again and he couldn't fight anymore. He gratefully dropped his head to Zero's shoulder, breath brushing hotly against his lover's neck as his body pressed hard into the other's welcoming warmth in swift, urgently needy thrusts, pleasure spiraling up swiftly to claim him until his body finally snapped taut with it. Kaname's fists knotted in the sheets on either side of Zero's shoulders. His soft, deep groans of nearly agonized delight thrummed against his lover's shoulder as his hips jerked a few more times, body trembling with pleasure.

Zero could feel Kaname's breath rapid and hitching, almost sobbing against his skin as the pureblood's body slackened, his arms now sliding to cradle Zero's sides. It was deeply beautiful to the hunter. Zero's body shuddered too as he relaxed under Kaname, his eyes drifting shut under the lulling sensation of their hearts beating against one another.

When Kaname lifted his head a minute or two later, he saw that Zero's face had relaxed into sleep. It was such a sweet picture. The boy was exhausted, worn out from countless exchanges of pleasure in one another's arms... and as Kaname looked down into that peaceful visage, something deep in his heart whispered that he would never be able to look at anyone else like this. Never feel about anyone else the way he felt about Zero. He was so much more than just an adored friend. Kaname couldn't pretend otherwise anymore. Even if it was something he could never explain, an emotion he could never dare to hope could be returned... he knew in his heart that he would forever belong to the hunter. That he... loved him.

Zero stirred a bit when he felt cold of the air on his body as Kaname rolled off of him. Then he felt himself being moved and his eyes slowly blinked open with effort. To his surprise, he found that Kaname had risen and lifted him off the bed and was now carrying him across the room.

He tried to blink the sleep from his eyes and somehow managed to find enough energy to be mildly embarrassed at being carried around like this. "Hey... put me down..." he protested with a sleepy, very half-hearted struggle. "What the hell are you doing?"

Kaname thought that his voice slurred very adorably when he was half asleep like this, and simply cradled Zero carefully in his arms as he maneuvered them into the huge master bathroom that adjoined Zero's bedroom.

"Shh, go on and rest," he said as he stepped into the shower stall across from the Jacuzzi sized bathtub. The stall was spacious enough to accommodate both of them more than comfortably. "I thought you'd sleep better clean, that's all." He and Zero were both quite a mess and while that was intoxicating when they were making love, Kaname thought the hunter would feel better in the morning if they showered now.

He twisted the water on with his mind, without needing to free a hand, and waited until the stream had warmed before directing the showerhead towards them.

Zero shivered when the warm needles of water washed across his exposed body, but they felt good. The cleansing warmth felt quite delicious on his sore, exhausted body... as did the way Kaname's strong arms supported him with seeming effortlessness. Zero was so tired that for a few moments he let Kaname just hold him under the warm shower. He almost... _almost _could have gone back to sleep in Kaname's arms as the pureblood washed him down gently, but he didn't let himself.

Presently he woke enough to realize how incredibly vulnerable he felt like this and gave Kaname a wry, slightly hesitant look as he shifted in his arms, trying to figure out how to get down without falling. "Um... Kaname..."

The creeping flush on Zero's face that had nothing to do with the heat of the water told Kaname what he wanted and the pureblood obligingly set Zero down on his own feet in the shower. He couldn't help grinning though. He liked that Zero was so much more comfortable with him now than he used to be, but he also loved that particular embarrassed look the hunter got sometimes.

Zero winced when he stood and had to catch hold of Kaname's shoulder for support as the warm water sluiced down both their bodies. _Okay. Ow._ He hurt more than he had realized and standing was not too much fun. He tried to breathe carefully.

"You okay?" Kaname murmured softly as he helped steady the hunter, his hands gliding lightly across the other's slicked skin, both to wash and sooth him... and to just caress him.

Zero nodded ruefully, wiping wet hair from his eyes with the back of his hand. "Yeah. Good as can be expected with an unappeasable pureblood twit around..." he mumbled. He shivered softly at the caress of Kaname's fingers, the gentle sensations soothing some of the ache from his muscles and distracting him from the lingering discomfort. It was a price he paid for being with Kaname... but it was not one he paid unwillingly.

Kaname grinned in amusement at Zero's words and brushed his wet hair from the side of his neck. He pulled the hunter close. He didn't have to speak the invitation, it was obvious, and after a moment's hesitation, Zero accepted, mouth sliding to the side of Kaname's neck, lips and tongue caressing the wet skin before he bit. He'd drunk from Kaname not long ago, but his body was still recovering and a little more blood now would help ease his discomfort.

Kaname sighed softly in pleasure as Zero drank from him a little, the shower water cascading over them both, steam rising in misty clouds. He was tired too, and Zero had taken from him twice in one night now, but he loved it anyway.

Zero didn't take much this time, but the ache inside him had significantly dulled when he pulled away. They didn't speak much, but neither of them seemed to be in a hurry. They remained close. Kaname reached for the soap and they washed each other down with the slow, unhurried moves born of both exhaustion and contentment.

"Kaname, what happened with the flood and the levee? Did everyone make it out okay?" Zero asked after they had finally finished and were toweling off.

Kaname bent, rubbing his hair with a towel. He straightened, the dark, wet locks falling mussed and tangled on his shoulders. "Yes, they did. The Night Class had to reveal themselves to evacuate everyone in time, but it was handled responsibly and everyone's memory was altered after the fact."

It had not been a small undertaking, but Takuma had been smart in the way he dispersed the vampires with the humans, making sure that everyone knew what they needed to do as soon as they were to safety. A few stragglers had escaped the initial memory cleansing, but Seiren had returned while Kaname had still been unconscious in Takuma's care and as soon as the situation had been explained, she had tracked those people down and taken care of matters.

The only ones who still remembered what had happened now were the vampires... and the hunters. The Night Class had not bothered wiping their memories, since they already knew about their existence. Not to mention that it might have sparked a rather messy incident, since the hunters, young though they were, would probably have fought strenuously before letting a vampire mess with their heads. As it was... they now had to figure out how to deal with the idea that they had all been _saved _by a bunch of... well... _vampires. _

"The flood did a lot of damage, took out a good portion of the town, but casualties were incredibly low overall," Kaname continued as they made their way back into the bedroom.

Zero collapsed onto the comfortable mattress, flopping on his back and pulling up the deliciously soft covers. The bed still smelled like he and Kaname, but that was pleasant, and he was so tired...

Kaname, casually dressed in only the towel around his waist, paused by the wall across from the end of the bed and Zero realized that although he'd not really noted it before, there was a wide, flat-screen television affixed there.

"Of course, we didn't quite get _everyone's _memories," the pureblood amended with a small smile. "Here, you should watch this. I recorded a news broadcast shortly after the flood. I thought you might like to see it..." Kaname picked up a small remote from the nearby dresser, flicking the TV on and manipulating the buttons to call up the recorded programs option, selecting the one he wanted.

Zero pushed up a bit on the pillows so he could see better, curious despite being tired.

The image of a reporter appeared. She was standing strategically in front of a vista of flooded houses and giving statistics on the damage done by the flooding.

"But it's not all bad news as we look at the aftermath of the worst flood this area has seen in over 100 years. Experts say it could have been a lot worse. Loss of life was minimal, especially considering the narrow escape of the volunteers at the Takeo levee. Today, we have a special story to share. Tragedy almost struck the Fujiwara family twice in one day. Mr. and Mrs. Fujiwara were some of the lucky survivors of the Takeo levee, but unbeknownst to them, while they were trying to escape the river downstream, their three young children were caught in the path of the flood _upstream_ and almost drown. Fortunately, two unknown good Samaritans pulled the children out of the river and tragedy was averted. A courageous act by any standards, but this little girl has another explanation..."

The camera shifted to a familiar, dark haired little girl who was standing beside two people who were obviously her father and mother. Her brothers were also nearby, the youngest in his mother's arms, sitting contentedly on her hip. The reporter held the microphone down to the little girl's level and the child hesitated a moment, staring at the camera.

"Miki, what can you tell us about the people who pulled you out of the river?" the reporter prompted gently.

"They weren't people, they were angels," the little girl said decidedly, with the full seriousness of youth. "There was a silver angel and a black angel. The black angel flew over us and held back the water while the silver angel held me tight and pulled me out of the river."

There was the soft sound of gentle chuckling from somewhere off camera and the little girl got a stubborn, petulant look on her face. She didn't care if anyone believed her. She knew what she had seen and no one was ever going to make her believe otherwise. A small hand, her elder brother's probably, squeezed her shoulder. He believed her. He'd seen it too, but he knew better than to say such things to adults. Still, he supported his sister.

"They were angels," Miki repeated firmly. "And they saved me and my brothers."

The camera cut back to the reporter, who was smiling. "There you have it – courageous strangers or heavenly intervention? We may never know for sure, but in either case, one family has a lot to celebrate and something they want to say to those two 'angels', whoever or wherever they may be..."

The camera shifted to a shot of the whole family standing together and waving at the camera. They all chorused _"Thank you" _at the same time in a cacophony of voices. The news moved on to a weather report and Kaname turned off the TV. He turned a wry smile towards Zero.

Zero's throat felt a little tighter than he liked to admit and he smiled back. "Huh, bet that's the first time _you've _been called an angel..." he said with an amused grin.

Kaname chuckled. "And probably the last..." The pureblood let himself down onto the bed, discarding the towel and sliding under the sheets next to Zero. He rolled onto his side, facing the ex-human.

"Dunno..." Zero murmured, his fingers somewhat instinctively finding Kaname's shoulder and resting there. "You have your moments. Sometimes. _Occasionally..._"

"Oh, just very rarely, huh?" Kaname chuckled, settling his head comfortably on the pillow.

"Mm..." Zero nodded. "Exactly. When you're not being a total ass."

Kaname pulled a mock offended face, enjoying the soft banter. "I have no idea what you're talking about..."

Zero's eyes were drifting shut but he opened one and fixed Kaname with a wry look. "Have you ever _listened _to yourself? They have your picture in the dictionary under _demanding and insufferable _I'll have you know."

Kaname's laughter was soft and musical. "Really? What about _sensual _and _tempting..._?" he shot back, hand sliding down Zero's body under the covers.

Zero opened both eyes and shot him an amused, warning glare. "What about_ I'm-going-to-sleep-now-so-keep-your-hands-to-yourself_?" he muttered. His eyes started to close before opening again. "Oh, and while we're talking about _demanding_, just because I could do that thing with you by the river, don't start hounding me again, all right? I doubt I could do it again without you involved..." he mumbled wryly. Kaname had always pushed him very hard to try to tap deeper into his fledgling vampire abilities.

Kaname suddenly stilled, the mirth sliding from his face and replaced by a soft flicker of anguish that he wasn't fast enough to hide. Despite his weariness, Zero froze, wondering what had brought that change about. He fixed the pureblood with a questioning gaze. "Kaname?"

Kaname swallowed and looked away, pain suddenly tensing his chest. He hadn't wanted to have to get into this yet, didn't want it to intrude on their current happiness. But... Zero deserved to know. "Zero... the doctors say that there's a good chance that..." it was so hard to say. Kaname felt so guilty about this. "That because you channeled so much power, so fast, so above what you should have been able to handle... it's... it's very possible... _probable _even, that it may have burnt out your ability to access it at all," he whispered.

His feelings of guilt and anguish over that were obvious in the pureblood's voice. He felt horrible... felt like he'd taken something from Zero or left him permanently handicapped. There wasn't anything else they could have done, and Zero had chosen to take on the risky attempt, but still, it just wasn't fair. "But there's no way to be sure, they're just guessing," he added quickly, his hand sliding into Zero's and squeezing it earnestly. "They don't know you. They underestimate you..." he murmured, his gaze returning earnestly to the hunter's face.

The doctors could only see an ex-human vampire, so what did they know anyway? Kaname stubbornly clung to that hope. _I'm so sorry, Zero... _his eyes said silently.

Zero smiled faintly at how obviously disturbed and upset the other vampire was. Kaname was the one taking it hard... he strangely felt very little at all. Maybe he was a _little_ disappointed, maybe there was a certain feeling of let down, of lost possibilities... but in the larger scheme of things, he felt it was a small price to pay. He was also too dead exhausted and contented now to feel much else.

"Hey, stop acting like everything's your fault all the time, it's annoying," Zero muttered quietly, giving Kaname a wry look as he rolled a little more fully onto his side, facing the pureblood, their hands still entwined. "What's done is done. I wouldn't change what I did and it's not a big deal. I mean, I could hardly do anything with it anyway. And this way, maybe you'll finally get off my case about it..." he gave a sleepy, rueful grin, his eyes sliding shut. The bed was so comfortable, so soft and warm. Kaname's presence was close by, and he was contentedly exhausted. He could feel sleep fingering through his mind even as his head sank a little farther into the soft feather pillow.

The complete ease with which Zero took the revelation surprised Kaname deeply and he wasn't at all sure he should trust it. "Zero..."

Zero groaned sleepily. "Look, I'll cry about it tomorrow if you want me too, I'm _tired _Kaname... some of us need to sleep..." he mumbled, squeezing Kaname's hand lightly.

Kaname still wasn't entirely convinced, but he let it go, smiling softly at Zero's... _Zero-ness_.

"Rest well, Zero," he murmured softly, feeling weariness pulling at him as well. Zero made a muffled sound that passed as a sort-of return wish before his breathing slowly evened out into slumber.

In his dreams that night, there were more roses and gardens and tumbled canopies of vines... but snuggled up next to Kaname, exhausted and feeling safe, he did not wake. He did not stir as pale, thin shapes took form in the moonlight, making the bed curtains sway gently. The slumbering pureblood was equally blissfully oblivious. Contented and worn out from all that they had shared, the two simply slept on.

\--------------------------------------

Kaname stirred, sleep lightening its hold on him slowly. He was aware of feeling cocooned in a warm sense of peace and security. His body was deeply relaxed, his heart beating in time with the one under his cheek. He lay sprawled on his side under the sheets, dark head pillowed contentedly on Zero's chest. The deep, steady rhythm of the ex-human's breathing indicated he was still asleep. Kaname could feel the comfortable weight of the hunter's arm draped over his back, but he felt something else too. At first, he'd thought Zero was actually behind him, because it seemed as if the hunter's presence was curled all around him, but obviously that was not the case. Still... he distinctly felt something warm and smooth against his skin, curled around his waist, and brushing very intimately against his thigh as he shifted slightly. There was the faint, gentle perfume of roses in the air.

The pureblood's eyes fluttered open and he blinked slowly in somewhat sleepy puzzlement and surprise as he found himself gazing out at a peaceful tangle of silvery vines, dotted here and there with blossoming roses. He'd fallen asleep in Zero's bedroom... he was sure of that, how had they gotten outside? A moment later he realized they _weren't_ outside, they _were _in Zero's bedroom, but the pale foliage around them was very real.

Apparently in a matter of only a few hours, vines had encased the bed, twining up the corner posts of the tall, four-poster and draping over the sleeping lovers beneath like a canopy, creating a sweetly scented private bower.

Kaname realized that the bed was not the only thing the vines were curled around. They twined around his body, wrapping about his chest and waist, snaking down his arm, around his legs, the smooth, supple tendrils brushing lightly and deliciously against his thighs and groin. Although they were plant-like, they were far too smooth and supple for _actual _vegetation.

A small thrill of shock shot down Kaname's spine. It seemed almost impossible that these vines had managed to entangle him so completely without his even being aware of it... but if he _had_ felt anything touching him in his sleep, he had merely assumed it was Zero. Strangely though, despite the shock, he felt no fear. He should have... he should have been panicked to wake up and find himself in such a strange situation, tangled up and possibly trapped in this unnatural foliage... but he sensed no malice, no evil anywhere near them, quite the opposite. The vines were actually exuding a deep sense of peace and comfort. They weren't _trapping _him... they were _cradling_ him, like Zero's arm around his shoulders.

_Zero..._ the hunter's body was strangely completely free of the vines, but Kaname realized that wasn't so strange at all a moment later as his gaze slid slowly across his sleeping lover's form and he realized with even deeper shock that the vines all seemed to be _originating _from Zero. Some of them were directly attached as if they were growing out of him. Others were not connected and sfeemed to be sprouting of their own volition out of the bed instead, but they were all centered around the sleeping hunter. Kaname thought he could almost feel the faint throb of Zero's heartbeat in the sinuous tendrils wrapped around his naked body, but he might have been imagining it.

Wonder replaced shock and Kaname lifted his head slowly the rest of the way off of Zero's chest, leaning on his elbow and looking around them. He had absolutely no idea what to make of this. It was... _incredible_. He lifted his arm, turning it over curiously in front of him and studying the vines twining down it like an exotic armlet. They moved with him, intuitively shifting to allow his motions, languidly sliding against his skin, more like the prehensile appendage of a living entity than a plant. The pureblood was intrigued; he'd never seen anything like this before. He reached out a finger to trace one of the thicker vines that snaked across the surface of the bed beside him. These looked almost like they were in some vague way made up of the wood of the bed frame and the cotton of the sheets, although they didn't seem to be destroying either. These thicker, coarser vines seemed more plant-like and immovable. They were also the type that were sprouting roses, but like all roses, and unlike the smooth, silky vines twining Kaname's body, these stalks had thorns.

The pureblood pricked his finger lightly on one of the surprisingly razor like edges, intentionally testing its sharpness. He jerked his hand back when he felt the sharp, familiar sting of his body reacting to an anti-vampire or hunter induced injury. It had only been a very light prick, so it was no more than a passing annoyance as Kaname quickly popped his finger into his mouth, sucking until the strange sting faded, but he looked at the vines with a new respect, and an even deeper interest. The tendrils that held him so gently, could obviously also be formidable weapons.

Kaname's movement and the small, delicious hint of his blood in the air started to wake Zero, and the hunter stirred. Still mostly asleep, he felt Kaname against him and smiled faintly, his sleep numb fingers sliding lightly down the smooth curve of his lover's shoulder.

Kaname sucked his breath in, a hot shudder running through him as the vines around his body came to life, responding instinctively to their master's contented, sleepy desire to touch the pureblood. The supple tendrils slid along his skin like a multitude of sinewy caresses, curling with even more familiarity around his thigh and sliding up to brush and twine around his manhood in a very, _very _intimate manner that made the pureblood's trembling breath leave him again in a sharp, heated rush. _Oh my God... that felt good. _

Zero scented the shift in Kaname's arousal level and his smile deepened slightly, his eyes fluttering open. Hopeless. Kuran really _was_ deliciously hopeless. "Mmm, hey..." Zero trailed off as he suddenly took in their surroundings... the vines covering the bed, hanging above them, curling around them...

_Oh no... _it was happening again! But it wasn't a hallucination this time, it couldn't be... was he still dreaming? The warm haze fled his face, replaced by sudden panic and confusion. He knew somehow, that this was _him. _That he had done this... but he didn't understand how, he hadn't even been conscious of it. He looked down at himself and felt a hard start of horror. These... these _things _were growing _out _of him! What the _hell _was wrong with him _now_?

The atmosphere of the room abruptly changed as Zero's panic echoed through the vines he'd unwittingly spawned while they slept. The vines seemed somehow connected to his emotions and aura as well as his will, exuding peace when he was peaceful, and when he was afraid...

Kaname winced, giving a small, startled yelp as the vines curling around his body suddenly snapped rigidly tight. Zero's uncomprehending alarm and fear were wrapped all around him, pulsing through the contact with his body and setting his own senses reeling. He felt the vines coarsening, felt the small, swelling buds of emerging thorns begin to press against him. Zero didn't understand how to control this new facet of himself yet and so the vines were merely reacting to his fear, turning into defensive mechanisms to protect the hunter. Some of the thicker vines were already twisting into ropy strands of pure thorns, wicked and dangerous looking.

Kaname had to swallow a raw swell of his own fear now. He was deeply tangled in the hunter's unwitting grasp. If these particular thorns acted like anti-vampire weapons, and they cut into his skin, all over his body like this... he was going to be in a _lot _of pain. His own self preservation instincts flared, telling him to fight the danger, to use his power to try to snap the vines holding him, or neutralize the source of the threat... With conscious effort, Kaname forced himself to remain calm and not incorporate Zero's fear into himself, or let his own panic make him react without thinking. This wasn't a _threat. _This was _Zero. _There was a vast, vast world of difference.

"Zero," Kaname's whisper was commanding, but not alarmed as he tried to get his lover's attention. Zero was already freaking out enough; Kaname knew his own fear would only feed that fire. The pureblood rolled over, straddling the hunter with a difficulty, having to fight the vines that were now cutting off circulation in some of his limbs, as well as other rather _important _areas of his body. With utmost tenderness, he cupped the hunter's face between his hands as he leaned over him. The vines around Kaname's left arm were writhing and twisting, leaving red friction marks on his pale skin. His pureblood healing was still in effect and they vanished almost immediately. It hurt, but he refused to show pain.

Looking down into Zero's wide, amethyst eyes... Kaname felt his body calm, his panic bleeding away despite the vines squeezing and writhing around him like a stirred up nest of vipers. Whatever happened right this moment didn't matter. One way or another, he'd be okay eventually. Zero was here with him, and he trusted the hunter. Implicitly.

"Zero, it's okay... calm down..." he murmured gently, thumb stroking the hunter's cheek reassuringly. Dipping his head, Kaname kissed the hunter's jaw and cheekbone slowly and tenderly. "There's nothing to fear..." the pureblood lifted his head, his brown eyes steady and clear as they held Zero's. "Trust me," he whispered.

Zero did trust him. Kaname's simple, steady kindness and the fact that he seemed so incredibly un-disturbed and unworried by this unnatural situation broke through the hunter's panic and Zero felt himself slowly relaxing under his lover's touch, melting into the calm, reassuring aura that the pureblood was very powerfully exuding around them now.

As Zero relaxed, the vines did too, loosening their grip on Kaname's body and the bed. The budding thorns retracted, leaving the tendrils smooth and harmless against the pureblood's skin once more. A small part of Kaname told him to get them the hell off before something could happen again, but the rest of him refused. These vines... in some way, they were obviously a part of Zero and he would never push the hunter away from him. He could imagine nothing nicer than being wrapped up in a literal expression of his lover's presence.

"That's better..." Kaname murmured as Zero's hands slid hesitantly up to rest on his arms and he felt a faint, answering brush of lips on his own cheek. The hunter's fingers trembled slightly and as Kaname lifted his head, he found Zero looking at him with wide, confused eyes. There was still fear in their depths, but it was contained now, swallowed up in his trust that as long as Kaname was holding him like this and saying everything was okay, then somehow, he had to believe that it was.

"K-Kaname... what... what's happening to me...?" he whispered softly. "I don't mean to be doing this... I didn't ask these _things _to grow..." his hand slide a little further down Kaname's bicep and encountered one of the vines. Zero stared at it in horror as for the first time he seemed to really realize how many of the snaking tendrils were wound around his lover's body.

_"Oh God..."_ he whispered, eyes widening even further, if that was possible. He tugged quickly at the vine, prying it off of Kaname's shoulder. The tendril gave easily under his touch, obediently sliding away and retracting. Zero reached for another, but Kaname stopped him. He caught Zero's wrist and brought the other vampire's hand to his lips, kissing first his knuckles, then his palm.

"No... Leave it. I like them," the pureblood murmured, smiling warmly.

Zero swallowed carefully, surprised and not at all sure he believed him. "What? _Why? _They're... they're _freaky._"

"Because they're part of you," Kaname whispered back, kissing the inside of Zero's wrist, letting his lips linger against sensitive spot there, where Zero's blood pulsed close to the surface.

Despite everything, Zero felt heat rise inside him at his lover's touch. A different kind of warmth infused his chest at Kaname's words and the soft look in his eyes. It was so sweet it almost ached. Zero knew in that moment that he'd crossed an unforgivable line somewhere along the way. A line which was ever more firmly placing his heart into this pureblood vampire's hands. Yet... how could he object when it seemed to be so safe there?

"And they're not freaky," Kaname murmured against Zero's skin, his gaze still holding Zero's as he bent over him. He finally let Zero's arm down, caressing the other's face again. "They're incredible. Zero... you realize what's happened, don't you? I told you those stupid doctors underestimated you. Somehow... you've acquired your own_, unique _power. Not tied to mine... something completely different. Unique to you, like Aido's ice or Kain's fire..."

Wonder showed in the pureblood's face. "I don't believe that's _ever _happened before in the history of our race." In fact, he was pretty damn sure it hadn't. The level of power Zero was exhibiting with these fascinating, living vines was akin to that of a noble class vampire. No level D could ever have come close to that before. But then again, Zero was no ordinary level D, was he?

Zero stared at Kaname in shock. _Oh... _he hadn't thought of it that way. Having already gotten over his mixed feelings of uncertainty and revulsion the last time they'd had a conversation similar to this one, Zero accepted Kaname's wonder and his joy a little easier this time, hesitantly letting some of that bleed through to his own jumbled thoughts and feelings. "How... how is that possible?"

Kaname was vaguely amused that Zero always seemed to think that somehow he should have all the answers to these types of questions, even though he'd just said it hadn't ever happened before. "I don't know," he admitted with a small smile. "Maybe having all that power in your body for so long awakened something inside you," he said simply.

A pureblood's bite had the power to alter DNA and create ex-human vampires. Kaname was now thinking that maybe the time Zero had spent in the coma, while still holding so much pureblood power within him, had given the ex-human's body time for his already re-written DNA to change and more fully adapt, becoming more vampire and less human. But Kaname wasn't so sure that was a good thing to say to Zero. There were probably many factors involved though, and Kaname did voice out a different one. "Perhaps it once again also has to do with your being a hunter? The thorns seem to have anti-vampire properties, so I'd appreciate if you kept those away from me by the way," he added as a wry aside.

Zero's eyebrows quirked up, hesitantly amused by Kaname's tone and interested despite himself. "Reeaally..." he said slowly, a very faint hint of a devilish glint coming into his eyes.

Kaname's grin widened. "Yes. Don't get any ideas. I can still squash you like a bug my dear hunter, so keep that in mind..."

"Jerk." Zero actually chuckled. It was... it was totally bizarre to have this feel so strangely natural, but Kaname was treating it like it was, and... it _felt _natural. Lightly, Zero brushed Kaname's cheek with his fingers.

Still reacting to his mental state, his vines unconsciously shifted and slithered softly against Kaname's skin again in a mirroring caress. Kaname bowed his head, sucking a breath in and resting his forehead lightly against Zero's chest for a moment. The sensations were impossible to ignore and the reaction they elicited was obvious, pressing against Zero's stomach as the Kaname knelt over him.

Zero couldn't help feeling powerfully drawn to that reaction, a deep well of desire opening up in the pit of his stomach. The vine's sinewy, snaking caresses swiftly became more intentional and pronounced as they slid across Kaname's body like adoring hands, stroking, fondling, caressing...

Kaname shuddered visibly, his breath rasping unevenly against Zero's chest before he dragged his head up again, gazing down at Zero in wonder and compellingly urgent desire. "Zero..." he whispered huskily and the fire in his eyes seemed to leap straight into Zero's heart, kindling an intense, answering flame. Smooth tendrils slid down Kaname's abdomen and up his thigh, velvety fingers intimately stroking and caressing his aroused flesh.

Kaname groaned, his arms buckling as he collapsed down onto Zero. It was almost over-stimulating, being touched in so many places at once and his chest heaved softly. Zero caught him and rolled them over, letting the pleasure-weak pureblood rest back on the soft bed as he nearly trembled in delight. Kaname was so responsive... it was amazing and lovely.

Almost without realizing it, Zero found he was controlling the vines naturally, as if they were an extension of him, guiding them across the flushed alabaster skin, causing a small new tendril to bud forth from the vine snaking Kaname's chest, guiding it to swirl around his nipple, twisting and messaging like fingertips. The vines curled around the pureblood's hips firmly slid and shifted, pumping him, stroking his thighs...

Kaname cried out softly at the intense delight. He squirmed and arched against the mattress, drowning in pleasure. Zero wasn't even technically touching him, but he was completely undoing him.

Zero knelt somewhat hesitantly over the other, watching in rapt attention as Kaname all but writhed under the sensation of feeling as if Zero was caressing him everywhere at the same time. In some indefinable way, he could almost feel Kaname through the vines. It wasn't the same as when he actually touched him with his hands... nothing that directly tactile. But whether it was real or imagined, the sensation was there in his mind, as if it was some part of himself that was touching, caressing and wrapping around the pureblood. His breath trembled in his chest.

There was so much he wanted to do... but he was uncertain. This was all so shockingly new and although it felt deeply and inexplicably _right _he was still afraid to trust it, to trust himself.

Kaname gasped and moaned softly as the vines continued to slide and slither across his whole body, stroking, teasing, and caressing him with the nimbleness of dozens of worshipful fingers. His breath came in a heated, trembling rush as pleasure sang through his senses so intensely he almost couldn't stand it. He arched up against Zero's body over his, his eyes flooded with desire.

Zero was looking at him with deep yearning, but also... hesitancy. He couldn't stop what he was doing, he was too enraptured and enthralled by his partner's pleasure... but he was still a little afraid.

Kaname's dark eyes fixed on him, and the pureblood reached up, wrapping delightedly trembling arms around the hunter's back. "You have no idea how good this feels, Zero..." he murmured, both seductive and reassuring at the same time. In a small way, Kaname wanted Zero to feel comfortable about this new and unexpected extension of himself... and in a large way he was simply telling the complete truth. This was _amazing. _It was like Zero was everywhere, twined completely around his body like he was around his heart and soul. And still... he wanted more. The deep craving to _truly _feel Zero everywhere was intense and almost unbearable.

Dark eyes edged with both black and red fixed like burning pools of desire upon the equally darkening silver ones over him. "Take me, Zero..." he murmured breathlessly as his knees hugged the other's hips. He leaned up, his lips brushing Zero's cheek. "Let me belong to you..." he whispered in his ear.

Kaname was aware that Zero needed a break after yesterday... but that was hardly his only motivation. He was already vulnerable in Zero's tender, amazing grip, and he found he ached to delve further into that delicious capitulation, to surrender to his lover the gift of complete control. This ache, this need inside him he'd fought so long, been so afraid of... but he refused to fear it anymore. If that meant in some way, he was Zero's thrall, then so be it. Who else could he trust more?

A soul deep shudder ran through Zero's body at his lover's words. His heart throbbed and ached strangely. The ache was so deep it almost hurt, but... in a _good _way. The whispered entreaty also seemed to bring all the blood in his body rushing almost painfully to his groin in a sharp, intense wave of desire.

He groaned softly, fingers knotting into the sheets on either side of Kaname's shoulders. The vines caressing the pureblood's body multiplied and Kaname's neck arched, his veins almost standing out on his skin as his muscles clenched in intense pleasure, his body writhing beneath Zero's on the bed. _"Oh God... Zero..."_ he gasped urgently, delirious with pleasure.

"Where'd you leave it?" Zero murmured heatedly, his hands now dropping hungrily to Kaname's sides, caressing his body as his hips pressed down against the pureblood's. The vines moved effortlessly out of his way as he moved, working in tandem with him.

When he'd first discovered his bleed-over ability from Kaname, that had felt strange, like something other than himself. It had been hard for him too, very hard, not the least of which was because on some level, his hunter nature seemed to be fighting and repressing the growth of his vampire nature and abilities. But _this_... _now_... this was frighteningly easy. He still didn't have perfect control, much of it was happening completely instinctually. He was going to have to practice to gain the full use of this new skill, but he was finding that the vines responded intuitively to his thoughts, and it was shockingly easy to manipulate them. In some way, his two natures had merged into this ability; it was both vampire and hunter at the same time somehow, so there was no unconscious inner battle, no duality in him to retard its use.

Kaname seemed too out of it to get what Zero meant and he blinked up at him in heated incomprehension. "What?"

Zero flushed a little, his hips rocking urgently now against Kaname's, feeling the pureblood shudder beautifully under him. "Um... you know... the _stuff_..." His body was burning to do as Kaname asked, to feel him intimately as he did so rarely... but it was kind of embarrassing dwelling too much on the minutiae of it, for him at least.

Understanding dawned and Kaname grinned in deep, if breathless and impatient, amusement. "You mean the _lube?_" he returned wryly. Okay, so... he couldn't pretend that didn't make him flush just a little bit too... especially considering the reason why it was currently needed... but Zero's adorable unease with things like that was too delicious to pass up teasing him about.

Zero scowled slightly and deliberately ran his palm back and forth across the hard, swollen head of his lover's need, vines curling and massaging the length of it at the same time. "Yeah, _that._"

Kaname stifled a small scream of ecstasy and arched pleadingly up against Zero's body. He clung to Zero's shoulder blades, fingers digging softly into the pale skin. "I don't know," he panted hurriedly in answer, pleasure sparking hotly through his senses. It was probably tangled up in the sheets with them somewhere; he didn't recall putting it away and was not in the mood to search for it.

"Forget about that, just do it..." he groaned in almost unbearable desire.

Zero didn't know if it was because of his own desires, or because Kaname unconsciously almost always seemed to push him towards aggressiveness when making love to him, but he was more than half tempted to take the delightfully desperate pureblood up on that offer. His body burned with the desire to just take what was being so freely given... but he wasn't going to. Not this time. He was probably more familiar with being on the receiving end than Kaname was and knew that taking him dry would be unnecessarily painful for his partner. Eventually, Zero would learn that Kaname's physiology gave him different reactions to certain kinds of pain at certain times than his own did, but right now, the hunter was in no way about to give his lover anything but pleasure. Especially when Kaname was so vulnerable and offering himself to him so beautifully.

The last time he'd made love to the pureblood, he'd been drunk and angry... it had been admittedly incredible, but he wanted Kaname to know he could be gentle too. That Kaname _deserved _to be touched softly and made love to with all the same caring tenderness with which he had held Zero last night.

"No. I don't want to hurt you," Zero whispered, kissing Kaname's throat lightly. "I'll find it." He reluctantly starting to pull away from the incredible warmth of Kaname's body. The pureblood gripped him tighter though, not letting him go.

"Don't..." Kaname groaned, not wanting to lose contact or waste time.

The pureblood felt a sharp thrill of frustration, but at the same time there was a deep, welling flood of inner warmth as well. Zero was so kind, perhaps _too _kind for his liking when he was keyed up like this. When he surrendered control, there was a part of Kaname that wanted to be dominated, wanted to be taken and used roughly... but Zero's tenderness filled his soul. No one but Zero had ever touched Kaname gently in this manner. He almost... almost didn't know what to do with it, but it was nice. Very nice. It softened, yet deepened the desire inside him.

"Here..." Kaname's right hand fumbled to his left wrist, nails elongating. He clearly intended to cut himself so Zero could use his blood for lubrication instead. Vines caught his wrists, stopping him. The soft tendrils gently but firmly pulled his arms back down to the bed, pinning them on either side of the pureblood's head.

The thrill of being immobilized curled and zinged through Kaname's already trembling and churning stomach and he shivered heatedly even as he looked up at Zero questioningly.

Zero kissed his chest and straightened up a little, his nails sliding to his own wrist instead. "No..." he murmured again, holding Kaname's gaze with intent care. "Let me." Zero sliced his skin, letting the blood drip onto Kaname's stomach and gather on his fingers for a moment before the wound closed. He didn't have Kaname's healing, it would take time for that cut to fully mend, but he'd had a lot of Kaname's blood recently, so it stopped bleeding quickly enough. Once his fingers were sufficiently coated, they slipped down between Kaname's legs, teasing and pressing against his entry.

The feeling of Zero's blood on his skin was actually deeply arousing to Kaname in its own way and he breathed rapidly through his teeth as warm, unskilled, but caring fingers probed slowly into his body. He tensed instinctively, but willed himself to relax. Admittedly not the easiest thing to do in this situation... but he was so hungry for Zero right now, so intensely aroused, it wasn't that hard either.

Zero added a second finger probably before he should have, but definitely none too soon for Kaname who felt like he was dying from the need to feel more of his lover, to feel him deeper. His arousal was in high gear and he barely registered the initial pain of the preparation, so swiftly was it turning into pleasure in his vampire senses. He gasped softly as Zero's long fingers claimed him deeply, stretching and rubbing intoxicatingly, causing pleasure to spark freely.

Zero leaned down and licked the blood from Kaname's stomach while his fingers rocked back and forth in his passage. The taste of his own blood did little for him, but the act of licking it off of Kaname's skin, and feeling the way the pale abdomen trembled and heaved softly under his touch was delightful. Kaname's soft, desperate whimper was also delightful.

"Zero... _now, _Zero..." Kaname rasped, his wrists turning and twisting in helpless delight in the vine bonds that were still holding him pinned to the bed. He couldn't move, and Zero's slow prep was driving him insane.

Zero grinned wryly at his lover's impatience. Kaname was adorably demanding, even when he was supposedly ceding control. Considering the urgent throbbing in his own groin, Zero let him have his way. Vines curled around Kaname's sensitive thighs, caressing like multiple tongues tracing his perspiration slicked skin as they pulled his legs further apart and back, spreading him for Zero.

Kaname's eyes nearly rolled back in his head. His chest heaved and his wrists continued to twist in their gentle bonds, his whole frame wracked with unbelievable ecstasy.

Zero slid quickly back up the pureblood's frame, settling between his legs and pressing slowly into the tight, slick, welcoming heat of his lover's body. Kaname's pleasure was rolling off the pureblood in waves, seeping into Zero through their bond and heightening his own sensations as well. Slowly but steadily he pushed forward, claiming the beautiful, writhing body on the bed to the core.

Kaname keened softly he felt Zero fill him, as his thighs were automatically manipulated and pulled even wider by the soft, binding grip of the vines encasing him, allowing Zero to take him deeply and completely. At this moment, there was nothing he wanted more.

Pleasure sparked ruthlessly as the hunter struck gold inside him and Kaname nearly sobbed from the sheer, delightful overstimulation. Zero's arms slid around his back, lifting him just a little off the bed, hands curling around the pureblood's shoulders from behind for better purchase. Kaname's arms and legs were both still pinned and entangled in Zero's fines, holding him deliciously immobile and completely at his lover's mercy. It was a mind blowing turn-on and Kaname thought he might explode from bliss at any moment.

Zero layered hot, tender kisses upon Kaname's neck, knowing the exact sensitive spots to manipulate in order to make the pureblood keen even louder and more urgently, to make his whole, lithe frame tremble from sheer delight.

"Unh, ungh.." Kaname whimpered rhythmically through clenched teeth as Zero thrust into him, hips starting to speed up deliciously as the hunter's own pleasure began to spiral out of control. Zero's hot mouth on his neck, his hands, the vines, his body... Kaname truly felt like his whole world was swallowed up and wrapped up in Zero, and he loved it.

Zero groaned softly, panting hard now too, his hips working urgently, thrusting rapidly into the tight sheath of Kaname's body, knowing he didn't have long now, but determined to undo Kaname first. The pureblood was so intensely worked up now, that was not a difficult goal.

Already, Kaname felt the pleasure building like a hot, tense fist of fire in his groin, curling like steel bands across his stomach, agonized shivers of arousal shooting up and down his thighs and making his toes curl. Then, beautifully, it snapped free.

Zero knew it, even before he felt the warmth between them; he felt Kaname's body snap tight under him, shuddering in tense, relentless spasms that seemed to grip every muscle. Kaname's eyes pressed shut, his mouth falling open soundlessly, not even breathing around the sheer surge of delight as he tumbled into climax.

As it so often did, Kaname's bliss echoing through their bond was all it took to tip Zero over that edge as well. It was one of the many little quirks of their connectedness. He groaned softly, fingers tightening on Kaname's shoulders as he jerked hard and quick into him, his pleasure escaping in raw, shuddering spasms as it released deep in his lover's body.

Kaname was being so stimulated, and came so hard it literally seemed to haze out his senses for a few moments, and the next thing he remembered as thought slowly returned was Zero laying atop him, cradling him tenderly, their chests heaving together. The vines around his wrists had disappeared and he wrapped his arms around his lover's back, stroking up and down his spine and savoring the feel of the small shivers still running through the ex-human's body. Silently, Kaname wondered how he had ever lived without this boy.

As he continued to become more aware, Kaname realized that the vines encasing the bed had also retracted and disappeared for the most part, although he wasn't sure when that had happened, if it had been while they were making love, or afterwards. He was a little surprised to note that the bed seemed completely unchanged. The vines hadn't hurt it at all, even though in some cases they had been growing _out _of it.

Kaname could still smell roses though, and he realized not all the vines were gone. A few were still twining the bed posts, the headboard... and his body. They were still now, cradling him softly like Zero was cradling him as their bodies slowly cooled from the intense pleasure they had shared.

Reaching up over his head, Kaname carefully plucked one of the soft, pale violet blossoms and cupped it in his hand. He brushed the flower against Zero's softly heaving shoulder, the velvet petals lightly caressing the other vampire's skin and looking very natural there. It was far too easy for Kaname to imagine bedding Zero on a blanket of roses and he smiled quietly. The two of them had so much yet to explore together.

Zero sighed contentedly at Kaname's light caresses. He knew he ought to be feeling a lot more weirded out about the whole vine thing still, but he wasn't. Somehow it had become a natural feeling part of him in a matter of minutes... due in no small part to the wonderful way he had just gotten to use them.

Eventually he reluctantly rolled off of Kaname and sat up, now pulling the covers over his lap in somewhat ironic modesty. If he wasn't careful, he had a feeling Kaname would be perfectly content to keep him in bed for hours again. The pureblood might be able to live on sex alone, but Zero was feeling the need for a few other basic necessities of life that he'd not had in quite a while.

"So... this house come with a kitchen?" he inquired.

Kaname grinned, rolling onto his side and pushing up onto his elbow. "More than one," he replied. "Do you want me to send for some food, or...?" he left the offer open to see what Zero had in mind.

Zero considered, but shook his head. He wanted to _do _something, and although he knew Kaname probably had a staff of servants on call had never been particularly comfortable being waited on. "I can make us some breakfast. You have a taste for anything?"

Although Kaname would have spared him the work, since he had perfectly competent cooks to take care of such things, he could tell Zero wanted to do it himself and found that rather sweet, actually.

"Whatever you want to make will be good," he replied with a smile, finally pushing up to sit and moving to the edge of the bed. Pureblood physiology meant he felt no lingering tenderness from their joining, although the vague sense of Zero's possession remained with him. For a brief moment, Kaname actually slightly regretted how fast his body erased things.

"Let's wash up and then we'll see if we can go find the kitchen, hm?"

Zero nodded, also sliding to the edge of the bed. He shot Kaname an amused look. "Don't tell me you don't know where it is," he joked.

"Of _course_ I know where it is..." Kaname retorted with equal amusement. He'd been here two weeks; he had a perfectly adequate map of the place in his head.

"But you haven't actually been down there, have you?" Zero's tone was incredulous, but he quickly saw he was right from the look on Kaname's face.

The pureblood raised his eyebrows in innocent bemusement as if not getting why Zero found that at all remarkable. "Why would I need to?"

Zero laughed as he rose to his feet, heading for the bathroom. _Total Kaname_. "Never mind..."


	25. With Friends Old and New

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _A/N: There was a lot of catching up to do in one chapter, and I'm not sure this flows too well. sigh but its necessary stuff, so hopefully you'll bear with me. Don't forget to check my bio page for where to find my review responses!_

**Chapter Twenty-Five: "With Friends Old and New" **

"Thank you for inviting us, Kaname-sama," Aido's smile was bright as he and the five others other vampires in his party entered the large, well appointed living room to which they had been directed upon arrival.

Kaname was sitting in a comfortable looking wingback chair, elbows resting on the arms, fingertips steepled thoughtfully together as he regarded the chess board resting on the table between him and Zero. The hunter was comfortably slouched in his own chair, fingers lightly playing with one of his captured pieces while he waited for Kaname to make his move. He didn't have to wait long. The black bishop glided across three squares and came to a stop. Kaname had moved it without touching it as he had a habit of doing when playing chess. Zero frowned as he studied the board, realizing that no matter what he did, Kaname would have him in under three moves.

Not that that was surprising... you just _didn't _beat the pureblood at chess. Actually, Zero had never played all that much before, so Kaname was trying to teach him the finer points. He was getting better... or at least, he could now see it when he was about to lose, which rarely took long. Kaname had to practically bribe Zero to play him, but the ex-human resignedly indulged his lover's passion for the game. Sometimes.

Kaname looked up when Aido, Kain, Ichijo, Ruka, Shiki and Rima entered, giving them a welcoming nod. "After spending so many holidays imposing myself upon the hospitality of your house, Aido, it is only fitting that I should return the favor..." he said with a small smile.

"You were never an imposition, Kaname-sama!" Aido protested immediately and predictably, gathering smiles all around. Kaname was teasing the younger vampire and everyone there knew it. It was Aido's fault; he made himself such an easy and amusing target.

Zero wondered silently if Aido realized that the fact that Kaname would tease him like that meant the pureblood was quite fond of him. There was a lot about Kaname that he himself was only beginning to understand.

"I know," Kaname replied, his smile warm as he gestured to the comfortable couches and chairs nearby. "Won't you sit? You've had a long trip," he bade them leave to be at ease in his presence and they took him up on the offer, some of them taking seats, others lounging more casually against couch arms and chair backs.

There was no trace now of the weakness and infirmity that had haunted the young pureblood a few days ago, before Zero had awakened. He was once more his usual, handsome, compelling picture of strength and charm. Although they tried to hide it, all the guests were visibly relieved to see him looking so well. The comfortable picture that he and Zero made, sitting there and playing chess, was also pleasant to see.

It was holiday break now at Cross Academy, and Kaname had invited the small group to spend it here at his new villa. In truth, perhaps, he would have been just as happy to continue enjoying the quiet privacy of the place alone with Zero, but he knew the others had been worried about him, and it would be pleasant to have them all here for a little while. He would always have spent the holidays alone if not for them.

While the nobles all softly chimed in their warm and respectful greetings and compliments on the new house, Zero rose to his feet, obviously more than glad to let the chess game be forgotten. "I'll go let Izumi know they're here and see if she needs help with the drinks," he offered, intending to slip away and let Kaname and his friends have their space.

Kaname shot Zero an unreadable look as the hunter started to retreat. He'd given up trying to get Zero to quit attempting to assist the staff, even though his housekeeper only barely tolerated having someone else trespassing in her domain. This time though, saw the excuse for what it was, but said nothing. He wanted Zero to stay with them... but would let him go if the hunter was more comfortable that way. It was often hard for Kaname, trying to balance when he should stubbornly pull Zero closer to him, and when he needed to let him be free. It was a balance he wasn't sure he would ever get right. The perceptive pureblood was a little concerned though that it might not be merely Zero's natural anti-social tendencies prompting his exit.

In the past, it would hardly be remarkable for Zero to try to duck out of mingling socially with vampires. However, much had gradually changed these past months. The hunter actually had no objection to being around this particular group. In truth, although he would not admit it to himself, it might have been pleasant to remain – to catch up on what was happening at the Academy... to just... be with people he knew. But he was kidding himself if he was even thinking of treating them as his friends. They were _Kaname's_ friends, and there was a world of difference. He didn't belong in this setting, and although he would be tolerated for Kaname's sake... he didn't feel like being tolerated.

Zero knew from being told that the nobles had all worked together to save his and Kaname's life, but aside from Takuma and Shiki, the last memories _he_ had of them were from the library, before the flood. That whole scene was deeply tinged with pain and shame that he did not like to recall. It was hard for him to meet eyes that last he had seen filled with shock, anger and confusion. Hard to look at familiar faces and not feel like when they looked at him, they were still seeing him cowering on the floor at Kaname's feet, or worse, against the wall... but Zero shut those memories down quickly as he headed for the door. It did him no good to feel sick all over again, and it wasn't fair to Kaname who had repeatedly apologized and done everything conceivable to try to make up for his loss of control that day.

He and Kaname had made their peace with the past... or at least, they _were_ making their peace with it. Some days it felt like an ongoing process. Zero knew it had all been a hideous misunderstanding which had spiraled out of control. But he wasn't sure the nobles who had witnessed that scene would ever forgive him for attacking the pureblood, or forget what they had seen afterwards. Zero felt like he had been reduced to an object in their eyes and his status as Kaname's ex-human thrall firmly demonstrated, even if it wasn't true. It was a pity; he'd almost... _almost _started to feel comfortable with them before that. But what was done was done and the hunter simply wanted to avoid any awkwardness. It was no big deal. He'd always been a loner. He was used to fading into the background; comfortable with being invisible.

Aido was standing with his arms leaning on the back of Kain's chair. He straightened up a little when he saw Zero starting to move off. "Hey... Kiriyu... it's good to see you looking better," he said by way of greeting, as if wanting to make sure that Zero was included in the pleasantries being exchanged amongst the others. Actually, Zero looked _better _than good. It wasn't a change that any of the nobles could have exactly put their finger on, but there was something about him that seemed to have subtly changed.

Zero was almost to the door, but paused at the comment, his gaze turning back towards the group. "Uh, thanks," he mumbled, not sure what exactly he was supposed to say to that. Aido being nice to him wasn't a scenario for which he had a lot of responses.

"You mean better than when you were kissing him on the riverbank, Aido? I figured you must have thought he looked pretty good then..." Ruka commented innocently, the tease more directed at her notorious playboy friend than at Zero.

_There _was a mental image that Zero and Aido could have both done without and a warm flush colored both faces. Zero looked away in embarrassment and Aido's blue eyes widened comically. "Hey! I was giving him CPR, that was _not _kissing!" he protested, a little too adamantly, causing a couple of the others to chuckle.

"I don't know... lips were involved and there was some heavy breathing going on..." Shiki drawled in lazy mirth.

Takuma grinned in amusement, but shot a small glance towards Kaname to gauge his reaction. Purebloods were notoriously possessive of their lovers, but Kaname seemed to be taking the teasing with good humor. He'd been there after all. He appeared to be watching Zero's reactions carefully though, unsure if he should let this continue.

Zero had his hands shoved into his pockets, his head was down and he looked almost painfully embarrassed. _Yeah, because the ex-human would kiss anybody, right? That's what thralls were for. That's what they meant... _

"Shame on you, taking advantage of an unconscious person," Rima grinned over at a furiously blushing Aido before shooting a wink at Zero. "Don't worry; we protected your honor..."

And suddenly, Zero realized with a soft jolt that they _weren't_ making fun of him... they were pulling him into the joke. They were teasing him like they teased Aido... or perhaps more accurately, they were using him _to _tease Aido. The realization brought a strange little swell of relief and self-deprecating amusement that seemed to loosen the tense knot that had been unconsciously curling in his gut. _Lighten up, Kiriyu; stop taking everything so damn seriously... _he chided himself.

He shot the amused vampires one of his nearly patented glares and then pointedly ignored them. "Kaname, shall I tell Izumi to make sure there's nothing too strong in those drinks? Since we seem to be surrounded by _children..._"

Kain and Takuma shook from trying not to laugh aloud at the rebuttal.

Kaname's eyes danced in proud amusement and a faint hint of relief at seeing Zero dish back as good as he got. "Yes, I think you'd better..." he agreed mildly, keeping a straight face as only he could.

Zero smirked, albeit still a little flushed, and turned to go.

"I'll go with you," Aido mumbled unexpectedly, his words indistinct because of how fast he said them, but his motion as he stepped away from the others unmistakable.

Zero stared at him, as did several of the others. Aido's flush deepened as a couple of chuckles and low whistles sounded. _"Want some alone time, huh?" _was the clear, unspoken sentiment.

"I can help with the drinks," Aido said through his teeth as he headed for the door, although considering his usual disdain for doing anything remotely related to _work _it was a poor excuse.

Kaname watched him searchingly, but his smile was curiously soft. "Thank you, Aido," he said quietly. "And... Zero? Come back and join us when you're done," the pureblood's request was also soft... almost beseeching. Zero swallowed, realizing that no matter what he'd intended, he couldn't say no to that.

"Yes, do," Kain agreed. "We need someone to keep my cousin out of trouble..."

"Or get him in trouble," Rima amended with a happily wicked smile.

Aido rolled his eyes and grabbed Zero's arm, stalking out of the room with him. "Royal pains in the ass..." he muttered as they moved off down the hall.

Zero shot him a look as they walked. _"Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black?" _his gaze seemed to ask. "Yeah," was all he said, however. "I noticed." Carefully, he disentangled his arm from Aido's distracted grip.

"So... why did you want to come?" Zero inquired curiously. "You don't really have to help with the drinks. Izumi probably won't even let me touch them. I'm just going to let her know everyone's here." He was certain that a burning desire to involve himself in menial kitchen tasks usually reserved for servants was not Aido's motivation for tagging along.

Aido studied his feet as he walked. "Oh... I... uh, I just wanted to be away from _them_ I guess," he fibbed horribly. Jerking his head indistinctly over his shoulder.

"Away from Kaname? That's not like you..." Zero said dryly, raising one eyebrow.

"Not _him!_" Aido amended quickly. "I meant the rest of them... or...well..." Aido looked frustrated, his quicksilver temper flaring up to cover his awkward embarrassment. "Well okay, _fine_. I wanted to really see that you were okay before you disappeared, all right?" he blurted angrily. He'd accurately guessed that Zero had been intending to make himself scarce on the pretext of the errand. "I half killed myself trying to keep you frozen properly; I guess I wanted to make sure I didn't screw up. But you seem your normal, annoying self, so I guess everything's fine!"

Aido hadn't seen Zero since the hospital, since he'd sat vigil beside the ex-human's bed for hours while Zero was lost in deep unconsciousness that no one could break. Only Kain knew how Aido had fretted and feared in those long hours. Especially initially, it had been a pretty bleak time. Aido had still been hung-over from his over-exertion. There'd been no word from Kaname or Takuma, no way of knowing how the injured pureblood was fairing. Zero remained insensible and the doctors could tell them nothing but 'wait and see'. Aido had agonized wondering if the coma was his fault, if he'd not done enough to keep Zero's cryonic state stable on the way to the hospital, if he'd caused irreparable brain damage. He'd been terrified he'd let both Kaname and Zero down. Even after the doctors were fairly sure brain damage wasn't a factor, some part of Aido's stomach had not been able to unknot until he'd heard that the hunter had finally woken up. Given all that, it was very good to now see both Zero and Kaname looking so well, even if it killed him to admit it.

Aido turned on his heel as if to stalk off, but Zero's hand shot out and caught him by the elbow, arresting his departure.

The silver haired vampire was shocked to see a hint of earnestly and real concern behind the blonde's stormy blue eyes. Shocked and... a little touched. Aido had actually eschewed the chance to spend time with Kaname to follow along on an _errand _with him so he could be sure he was okay. The world had turned on its ear, apparently.

"Hey... um... thanks," Zero said softly. It sounded about as awkward as they both felt, but it was also earnest. "For what you did when you pulled us out of the river and... you know..." _For caring whether I made it through okay or not. _The last part was easier left unspoken for both of them... but they both felt it.

Aido calmed at once, his hands sliding into his pockets. "Yeah, no problem," he mumbled. "I said I'd pull you out if I had to, just didn't imagine it would be like _that._" Aido couldn't help a small grin at that, harkening back to their long ago conversation by the Academy's lake.

It took Zero a moment to get the reference, then he smiled slightly as well. "Yeah, guess you did." Zero started to turn away, but was stopped when Aido added softly. "Thank you, too."

Zero looked back and blinked quizzically. "For what?"

Aido bit his lower lip hesitantly, but his eyes were serious as they met Zero's. "Well, for doing what you did with Kaname to keep us all from getting swept away for one," he said wryly, as if surprised that Zero didn't think of that. "But mostly... because when all hell was breaking loose, Kaname wasn't standing up there alone. You do what I can't," he whispered. "He lets you stand by him, and you make him happy. For so long, there has always been pain in his eyes, pain I could never figure out how to ease. But you can... I can tell," the noble admitted, swallowing his pride with effort in order to get that out. This was obviously difficult for him to say, but he felt that it was something that needed to be said.

Zero held his gaze with an indecipherable sea of startled emotions swirling behind his violet grey eyes. Perhaps Aido was imagining it, after all, he hardly knew Zero as well or for as long as he'd known Kaname, but he could swear that somehow at this moment, there was a little less pain in the hunter's eyes as well.

Zero swallowed quietly, suddenly finding his throat a little tight. The truth was he didn't _feel _like he knew how to do those things for Kaname, although... he found that he wanted to. Very much. For Aido to say that though... maybe there was something to it. He was trying to find something to say, but nothing came. He swallowed again, gesturing vaguely down the hall. "Um, we should... probably..."

"Get the drinks, yeah." Aido nodded quickly, no more comfortable with the emotional overtones of the moment than Zero, although also equally quietly moved. The two vampires exchanged hesitant smiles. Somehow, it felt like they understood each other, even without knowing how to find all the right words. Or maybe for them it was better than words – a shared understanding that circumvented pride and went deeper than speech could adequately convey.

Turning another corner they almost ran into a pretty vampire woman carrying a huge tray laden with an ornate pitcher and glasses as well as other refreshments and snacks.

Aido and Zero both reacted swiftly enough to avoid any upset. Kaname's housekeeper frowned politely at them. Zero was of the opinion that for Izumi, courteous tyranny was an art form, but she seemed to be on 'company' behavior today. "Can I do something for you?" she inquired.

"We were looking for someone about drinks," Aido replied, glancing towards the tray she was carrying and automatically putting on the charming, flirtatious smile that seemed to appear whenever a pretty member of the opposite sex was present. "I don't suppose you could help us with that...?"

Zero smirked quietly. If ever Aido was wasting his charm...

Izumi looked at him coolly. _Does it _look _like I'm carrying a tray of bricks? _She smiled with practiced cheerfulness. "I have them, sir. Why don't you rejoin the others in the drawing room and I'll bring them right in?"

Zero hid his grin, turning and heading back up the hall with Aido in tow.

"Geez... and I thought _my _power was ice..." Aido murmured under his breath to Zero as they re-entered the room where the others were chatting amongst themselves in a pleasant, friendly manner.

"We found the refreshments," Aido announced, as if they'd actually done something other than merely run into them on the way. He was obviously trying to annoy Izumi, but she remained professional and happily ignored him as she set the tray down, poured out the drinks and then respectfully withdrew.

Zero saw that Seiren had joined the party as well and was standing quietly near Kaname. He reflected that he'd never seen her socialize much with the others or join in very many conversations, but she seemed comfortable and relaxed in their presence.

Kaname had moved from the chair he'd been occupying before and was now sitting on the couch across from his guests. The way the room was arranged, the comfortable sprawl of couches and chairs loosely circled a central coffee table upon which the refreshment tray rested. The layout seemed to be designed for casual entertaining.

Kaname picked up one of the freshly filled glasses from the table and held it out towards Zero, patting the cushion next to him in invitation.

Zero felt warmth prickle under his collar, but he understood a little better now why Kaname would do this. The pureblood wasn't _necessarily_ intent on embarrassing him to death... he wanted to indicate to everyone present that Zero belonged by his side, wanted to make a place for him in their circle.

No one stared anymore, or made much of the fact that not only did Kaname offer Zero the coveted place beside him, but he was also serving him before the pureblood took his own drink, which was indicative of special honor. Zero quickly and quietly crossed to the couch and accepted the glass, hesitantly taking the seat offered. Kaname took his own glass now, and at the unspoken signal, the others began helping themselves to the refreshments as well. It was obvious from the way everyone kept right on chatting and laughing together that this group no longer found it strange to see the pureblood and the ex-human together.

Perhaps in truth, it was an intentional acceptance. It seemed a lifetime since the disturbing scene they had witnessed in the library the day of the flood. If any of those present thought of it now... it had the opposite effect from what Zero would have expected. The pain of the situation, the horror and anguish of seeing Kaname injured and then seeing him lose it, the confusion of aching like they did at seeing Zero hurt, and how deeply torn up Kaname had been afterwards... they never wanted to see that again.

Something had indeed changed that day. However, rather than lowering their opinion of Zero, the events, especially what had happened during the flood, had brought home to them the realization that the ex-human was not a passing infatuation for Kaname, nor merely a matter of necessity. The pureblood and the ex-human were inexorable intertwined both physically and emotionally. This was not something they could expect to ever change. The world was never going to understand or look kindly on this unlikely pair, so it was their job both as Kaname's inner circle, and more importantly as his friends to be a safe place, to be accepting and understanding, to support Kaname... and to do the same for Zero too.

Even Ruka was willing to be civil to the hunter for that reason, to inwardly grit her teeth and not display whatever she might be feeling when she saw him with Kaname. Strangely, she now found it wasn't as terribly hard as she'd feared as she let her gaze linger on the pair across from her on the couch.

Kaname was listening to Takuma relating an amusing anecdote, one elbow resting on the arm of the couch, his glass held easily between graceful fingers as he sipped at his drink. Kaname never really seemed _relaxed _but his lithe, composed form was as close to it as any of them ever saw him get. Zero, beside him, looked distinctly less at ease, his posture a little stiff as he sat on the couch, one leg drawn up and folded under the other, his fingers drumming lightly against his glass as he balanced it on his knee. Without taking his attention from Takuma's story, Kaname's free hand slid out across the few inches of couch cushion between he and Zero, coming to rest lightly on the ex-human's thigh.

Ruka's extra senses noted a spike in Zero's temperature, but after a moment or two his body language started to slowly relax. Without looking like she was looking, Ruka saw Zero shift his glass to his other hand so he could curl his fingers ever so briefly over the ones resting on his thigh before he quickly busied himself drinking his iced tea to cover the motion.

Ruka felt a strange, bittersweet ache inside her. She'd seen what those two were willing to risk for each other. It was too good to see Kaname looking well and happy again for her to feel too sad. If Zero put that smile on Kaname's face, then she would tolerate and protect him. Didn't mean she had to like him, and he'd better never hurt Kaname-sama again, but...

"Ruka?" Kain's voice broke into her thoughts and she realized he was handing her a glass of the iced tea. She smiled and took it from him quickly, a bit embarrassed at having been caught so distracted. His long fingers brushed hers lightly as she took the cup and she felt a soft warmth prickle her skin that she wasn't quite ready to think about yet. But she didn't pretend it wasn't there. Her terror at the possibility of losing him during the flood had forced her to realize and face a few things that she was still trying to sort out inside her mind – and her heart.

Slowly, despite himself, Zero felt himself relaxing as the pleasant chatter buzzed around him. He and Kaname had been away from the Academy for some time now, so there was much news to catch up on and the nobles had many stories to tell. Eventually, he even started participating in the conversation, here and there.

Time wore away swiftly and almost before anyone realized it, dinner time was upon them. Takuma glanced at his watch ruefully. "I'm sorry, we really ought to go," he said apologetically as he rose, glancing towards Shiki. Shiki was slouched in his chair as if he'd rather Takuma had forgotten about the time all together. The young model could not stay for the holiday. As was often the case, his mother needed him home. Takuma had finally won the argument over whether or not he could come along, mostly because he simply wouldn't take no for an answer. It didn't look like Shiki wanted to leave, but he finally pried himself reluctantly out of his chair.

His expression betrayed the fact that he didn't know how he'd let Takuma talk him into this, but he resignedly started saying his goodbyes to the others. Rima gave him a tight hug, the only one there who knew almost all of Shiki's secrets, including why he was so reluctant to take Takuma home with him. "It'll be okay, Senri, trust him..." she whispered softly in her best friend's ear. Shiki hugged her back tightly, hoping she was right.

"I had Izumi pack you both a meal to take with you; if you're sure you can't stay for dinner?" Kaname said, leaving the offer open.

Takuma turned back towards the pureblood. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I really wish I could stay." He did, and yet he didn't. He found himself wishing he could be in two places at once, torn between feeling deeply that he needed to be with Senri and also feeling like he needed to be with Kaname. It was too easy to remember the three hellish days he'd spent locked in Kaname's rooms, watching the pureblood toss feverishly in a delirious stupor, each move reopening wounds Takuma had meticulously cleaned and dressed many times.

_The pureblood's blood and scent was everywhere. Even the partially healed cuts like the one on Kaname's face seeped crimson and Takuma had to swath them all repeatedly to keep the bleeding contained. It had seemed like Kaname's blood had forgotten how to clot, or perhaps, having never been necessary due to his massively accelerated healing, it actually lacked the ability to do so with any real effectiveness. _

_It was a good thing Takuma had grown up with him and become somewhat accustomed to that delicious fragrance. It was a world of temptation being surrounded by Kaname's blood, with the pureblood completely helpless. It was a constantly battle having to touch and handle it while knowing that no matter how innocent it may seem, he dare not taste the tempting crimson nectar even to lick it off his fingers for fear of what might happen if his instincts engaged while Kaname was vulnerable and completely entrusted to his care. There was not a moment of doubt in his mind that he would _ _**never** _ _fall to that temptation, but the inner struggle convinced the noble even more deeply that he could allow no one else remotely near Kaname until he had recovered. _

_Every so often, Takuma would carefully change the sheets around Kaname, removing them as they became saturated with blood and replacing them with clean ones. He bathed Kaname's forehead and body with cool cloths, trying to bring his temperature down as the pureblood's fever raged and shuddering spasms shook his injured body. _

_But perhaps the worst was when Kaname finally stopped thrashing and bleeding. When he lay deathly still and did not stir for more than a day as his weakened body fought to heal itself as best it could. _

Takuma had done everything he could. He'd had Rima and Shiki obtain an IV drip and other needed equipment from the Academy's nurse and hooked it up to Kaname himself, keeping him hydrated through all the blood loss. Saline only did so much, so Takuma regularly used the equipment to fill the bags with his own blood and let that flow into his friend's struggling body. It was a poor substitute for Kaname's rich blood, but it was the least diluted of anyone at the Academy and it was freely given.

When Kaname had finally awakened, Takuma had thought the worst was over. He'd been wrong. After Kaname was awake... it was time for the bandages to come off.

_Kaname sat propped against pillows on his bed, trying not to look as weak and dizzy as he actually was while Takuma gently pealed back the bandages, washing any remaining remnants of dried blood from the pureblood's pale skin with a soft sponge. Kaname was adamant that he had to go to the hospital, had to see Zero right away, so although Takuma wished he wouldn't try to get out of bed yet, he helped his friend start getting presentable to go out. No way could Kaname leave this room with any hint or trace of blood on him for others to smell. _

_But as he washed dried crimson-brown stains away, it seemed like not everything was coming up, and Takuma pressed a little harder, trying to scrub the funny pinkish lines away. Kaname winced and tilted his head back against the pillows, breathing shallowly. His skin felt unaccountably tender and raw. _

_Takuma immediately eased up, but a strange, growing dread started creeping over him as he quickly and gently began removing all the bandages, washing Kaname down and revealing the skin beneath until there was no doubt about what he was seeing. _

_Takuma stared in undisguised dismay at the angry pink lines crisscrossing Kaname's body, making it look as if the pureblood had encountered a madman wielding a dull pair of scissors. He hesitantly brushed one of the scars ever so lightly with his fingertips before quickly pulling his hand away, afraid he was invading Kaname's privacy. _Oh God... what had he done? How had he let this happen?

_He'd cleaned and bandaged his friend's injuries carefully and tenderly, but the wounds had not been stitched, nor had any concerted attempt been made to close them properly. It was not something a vampire would have thought to do. With their level of healing, scarring was not a concern. Kaname's body should have just dealt with everything naturally. But of course... it had not, and the lack of proper alignment had made the scars worse than they might otherwise have been. Takuma was devastated. He couldn't have known that would happen, but he took it to be his fault anyway._ _A soft sob shook the noble. He was horrified to tears. _

_Kaname blinked in numb, dull shock as he looked down at himself. _Oh. This was... unexpected. _Takuma would __**never**__ have intended it so, but his initial hesitancy to touch Kaname's scars translated to the pureblood as revulsion because that was how Kaname was feeling. That feeling would not leave the pureblood until some weeks later when Zero's caring caresses would ease away both the scars themselves, and the perception of ugliness they carried with them. __Kaname was still pitifully weak and his friend's agonized horror didn't help his own intense feelings of disfigurement much, but when Takuma stopped sobbing broken apologies and started to claw himself, the pureblood quickly pushed himself to get over his own dismay and intervene. _

_Kaname shot up and grabbed Takuma's wrists, wrestling him to the bed. He had almost no strength, and couldn't have fought much except that the other vampire instantly stopped struggling so as not to hurt him. _

_Kaname's face was strangely flushed from exertion, his breath coming in ragged pants as he pinned Takuma down to the bed under him, his hands trembling, his body sagging against the other in such a way that it was obvious he was more _collapsed _on top of the noble than actually _pinning_ him. _

_Kaname knew. He understood what Takuma was thinking. Takuma thought he'd failed him. That Kaname was bearing these scars because of some error of his. If Kaname had to be marred like this, then Takuma would offer the only sincere recompense he could by trying to find a way to share the same disfigurement, to share his shame. But Kaname wasn't about to let him do that. _

_"This ISN'T... your fault... Takuma..." Kaname panted, his voice hoarse but commanding, his head spinning. "I _ _ **order ** _ _you not to... harm yourself in... any way, understood?" The pureblood's strength failed and he sank down onto Takuma's chest, his head lolling weakly against the noble's shoulder. The exertion had been too much for him, too soon. _

_"Not your fault... don't... blame you... I promise..." Kaname whispered faintly, delirium not such a distant memory yet as he might hope. Takuma had been nothing but protective, giving and generous to a fault with him. He might not have survived the past few days without the noble's steady, dedicated care._

_Unintentionally, Kaname found his face resting very close to Takuma's soft neck. He could feel the tempting thrum of the blood in the other's veins and tried to turn his head away. But Takuma's fingers curled gently in his tangle of dark curls, cupping the back of his head and not letting Kaname move. The noble tilted his head a little, baring his throat in a traditional vampire offering as old as time. It was the highest honor to give yourself to a pureblood... but that wasn't why he was doing it, and they both knew that. _

_Perhaps Kaname should have refused, but he could not. In too much need to resist, Kaname buried his face weakly against the side of his childhood friend's neck, and bit him. Takuma's blood was good and Kaname sucked it almost desperately, moving softly against him in an instinctive way that would have made someone less familiar with the pureblood either extremely uncomfortable, or turned on. Takuma couldn't deny the warm, pleasurable sensations of the other vampire sucking his blood, but the intense, brotherly affection he had for Kaname twined with the sensation, turning it into a deep, utterly protective feeling towards the unusually fragile body he held cradled in his arms. _

_It was a little ironic really... Kaname was drinking from him now about as desperately as Zero had a few days before. If this was anyone other than Kaname, Takuma would feel guilty, would feel almost promiscuous considering the number of vampires he'd played donor for now. He'd been raised with a very traditional and conservative worldview on such things. It was especially difficult, since despite everything else they'd done together... neither he nor Shiki had bitten one another yet. But this __**was**_ _Kaname, and Takuma would do anything for him. Shiki had understood about Zero, he would forgive him for this too. He had to believe he would. _

_Kaname was vaguely aware of bits and snatches of elusive memory as he drank. This wasn't the first time he'd taken from Takuma in the past few days, was it...? He had hazy memories of waking up when Takuma was first trying to dress his wounds. He'd been almost out of his mind with the pain... everything was a blur. But he vaguely remembered Takuma's scent and the other's strong arms around him, holding him carefully as Kaname urgently ravaged his neck. _

_Kaname frowned softly, the unwelcome question coming to mind of whether Takuma had offered, or whether in his delirious state he'd forced his friend. He'd been very weak, but Kaname knew no physical strength was required. All he would have had to do was demand it of Takuma, and the other would have complied whether or not he wanted to. With effort, Kaname withdrew his fangs. He wanted more, but it was enough, he felt better. He also felt guilty. He hadn't wanted to do this to Takuma and he didn't want to drink blood other than Zero's... but... this was different – a matter of necessity. He knew Takuma had also sacrificed what he surely wished only to give his own lover in sharing himself like this, and he was grateful. _

_"Last time... did you offer, or did I take?" Kaname murmured faintly against Takuma's skin. Somehow, he knew his friend would forgive him if it was the latter, but he still dreaded the thought. _

_"Offered," Takuma replied quietly, touched that Kaname was obviously worried about it. To Takuma, it would not have mattered. Even if Kaname had commanded or physically restrained him, that would not have equated to being forced, because there was nothing of himself that he would refuse his friend. _

_He felt a little light headed and giddy now from how much blood Kaname had just taken, and moist tear tracks from before were still drying on his face, but Takuma also felt warm and contented that he'd been able to do _something_ for Kaname, even if he couldn't make up for the heart-wrenching scars. His fingers stroked gently through the pureblood's dark hair. "Always offered for you, oniisan," he whispered, unintentionally calling Kaname _brother _before he could catch himself. _

_Kaname froze slightly against him and for a horrible moment, Takuma thought he'd offered offense. It was unbelievably presumptuous for one of lower class to act like he could be related to a pureblood... but the look in Kaname's eyes as he lifted his head and looked at Takuma told a much different story. The chocolate eyes were soft, warm... touched. The pureblood lightly brushed his lips against Takuma's cheek in a familial gesture of affection before rolling off of him and onto his back on the bed. _

_"Help me get ready then, brother?" he whispered, using the word with equally gentle fondness while obviously struggling to find the energy to rise. "I need to see Zero, Takuma... I-I _ _**need** _ _to..." there was a soft desperation in his voice. _

_Sitting up, Takuma squeezed his friend's hand softly, his heart swollen tight with the incredible warmth of hearing Kaname address him so. He wiped his still moist eyes on the end of his sleeve. "Of course," he promised. _

Takuma realized he was staring at Kaname as the pureblood sat on the couch with Zero, drinking up the sight of him healthy and whole. Kaname was wearing a tasteful open-necked shirt, visible proof that he was fully healed and no longer had to hide himself. The noble grinned ruefully at catching himself and quickly dropped his gaze, but not before Kaname had read the thoughts in his eyes.

He knew what Takuma was remembering as the gentle vampire unconsciously rubbed his neck. Kaname regretted that Takuma had to bear the burden of the after effects of being bitten for a time, but there was already such strong affection between them, at least it would not be too disturbing.

Takuma had helped Kaname much in those initial days of his recovery after the flood. He'd helped Kaname shower and dress so he could go to the hospital. Had helped him hide his scars under appropriate clothing and arranged his hair to shield the damaged side of his face. He had supported him on the way to the hospital while being careful not to let anyone else see that Kaname was in need of support. He had helped Kaname move Zero here to this house. He had done everything family would have, or at least should have done if Kaname had had any. The pureblood would not forget that. And he did not want Takuma feeling remotely torn about leaving now.

"I'm glad you're going. You and Shiki enjoy yourselves, you deserve some time to yourselves. Trust me... it can be very _nice_. Right, Zero?" the pureblood's smile was innocent and intentionally suggestive at the same time. Takuma grinned a bit self-consciously and Zero, beside Kaname, made a concentrated effort not to choke on his drink as he shot his lover a withering look.

_More than they needed to know, Kaname... _

Kaname grinned incorrigibly, his fingers shifting with feigned carelessness against his lover's thigh.

"With my mother around, _riiight_..." Shiki muttered, grabbing Takuma by the elbow. "Well, come on, if you insist on putting yourself through this, we had better go."

Takuma, feeling much less guilty about leaving now, gave his good-byes and let Shiki lead him away. The rest of the group followed them, escorting their friends out and seeing them off before they adjourned for dinner.

After dinner they retired back to the comfortable living room again to while away the remaining time before bed. There was plenty on offer for entertainment. Kain turned on the TV on the other side of the room, he and Aido dropping down onto the couch in front of it. Seiren took a seat nearby, half watching while working some kind of complicated hand andRima settled at a table with a deck of cards, althoughthey were doing significantly more chatting than playing. There'd been a generous supply of vampire alcohol with the meal, so everyone was feeling pretty warm and contented.

Kaname caught Zero's eye and glanced towards the chessboard. "You know, we haven't finished our game yet..."

Zero rolled his eyes and leaned over, giving his king a flick with his finger so that the piece fell over on its side. "Now we did."

Kaname appeared amused. "Ceding so soon to the inevitable? That's not like you. Very well, we can start another game." Kaname cleared the board and started setting it up again.

"No, thanks, twice in one day is my limit." Zero shook his head, raising an eyebrow when Kaname didn't stop setting up the pieces. Some people didn't know the meaning of the word _no. _"Kaname, I said I'm not..."

"Come on, Zero... it will be quick. Honestly, I don't know what you have against the game..." Kaname gazed up at him with that damn _look _he did so well – the deceptively innocent "_why are you being so mean to me over such a small thing?" _expression that the pureblood found quite effective in manipulating Zero to do what he wanted. It wasn't exactly pouting, that was too undignified a term, but it was close.

Zero could either be irritated or amused by Kaname's antics. It had been such a pleasant evening, he chose amused and gave a frustrated snort that was partially a chuckle. "Yeah, I bet it would be. And I don't have anything against the _game_..." Zero glanced around the room.

"Hey, anybody want to play chess with Kaname?" he called out to the others, resulting in a deafening silence as the nobles all looked in his direction, gaze shifting between him and Kaname. Obviously, any of them would if asked, but the majority of expressions gave the impression they'd secretly rather walk on hot coals.

Zero shot a smirk towards the pureblood at having made his point.

"I do!" Aido volunteered quickly, the only one of them who seemed excited by the idea.

Kaname gave his lover a smooth smile, beckoning the blonde to come over. "See? Aido appreciates a good game of chess."

Zero tried to look annoyed but ended up grinning anyway as Aido bounced up quickly from the couch and crossed the room. The blonde would have volunteered to do just about anything if involved Kaname and they both knew it.

Aido looked very pleased as the pureblood offered him a chair and he dropped down into it, quickly arranging pieces on his side of the board.

If they were younger and much more juvenile than they'd probably ever been, Kaname might have stuck his tongue out at Zero, but as it was he just raised a graceful eyebrow.

Zero simply shrugged. It was a win-win situation as far as he was concerned. Kaname got a partner, Aido got to enjoy being thoroughly creamed by his favorite pureblood and Zero got out of another painfully exercise in futility.

Kaname eyed Zero with sudden, amused suspicion as he realized that the hunter had probably intentionally maneuvered the situation to this result. A deep grin tugged at his lips. Zero may still suck at chess on a board, but he was getting pretty good at practical application.

Grinning quietly to himself, Zero wandered across the room and dropped down on the couch near Kain, taking Aido's vacated spot in front of the TV.


	26. Where Do We Go from Here?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _A/N: Looong chapter ahead. Please note that in some ways I portray Zero's powers a little differently than the manga. In the manga he was able to take on a pureblood almost right after their emergence and they were a little more extensive than the way I'm playing them right now. But the set up was different in the manga, what with Yuki's pure blood reawakening inside him too and especially the fact that Zero had re-absorbed Ichiru, competing his hunter strength. Not so in this story, so things are bound to be a wee bit different. Also, I am currently brain dead, and have not properly proofed this chapter at all, so I apologize in advance for any errors, but I wanted to go ahead and get it out while I had a chance today. _

**Chapter Twenty-Six: "Where Do We Go from Here?" **

Moonlight glinted faintly silver on the rapid flash of silent, snaking movement. Feet left the earth, a graceful body leapt, turned, dodged. The night air rustled with the faint whisper of its passage, the brush of the wind through tree leaves, and soft huff of two sets of labored breaths.

"This... is not... entirely... fair..." Kaname's voice was remarkably calm and even considering he was ducking and dodging about faster than sight. A swift mass of tangled, thorny vines tried to hedge him in, but the pureblood evaded. He executed a blurring double summersault in the air and came down to land behind his sparring partner. His arm snaked out and he caught the other vampire around the neck, yanking Zero's back in against his chest and quickly clamping down hard enough to impinge the hunter's breathing.

Zero grabbed the arm around his neck and bent at the waist, jerking forward, attempting to throw Kaname over his back. The pureblood shifted his weight quickly, leaning back and letting the physics of the angle increase the burden of his resistance, making him too heavy to budge. Kaname's free hand slid teasingly up the hunter's side, dragging his shirt up a little and feeling the lean muscle beneath.

Zero felt a warm thrill race from Kaname's brief touch and he scowled. Not that the sensation wasn't pleasant, but Kaname always did that. Always touched and teased him when they were sparring. It was devilishly hard to concentrate when the pureblood could make heat churn in his gut with just a caress. Of course... that definitely went both ways...

Zero tilted his head back against Kaname's shoulder, easing the restriction to his airway and at the same time twisting his head so his gasping breath rasped warmly against the pureblood's sensitive neck. His tongue flicked out, licking a salty bead of perspiration from Kaname's jaw and Zero felt the tense, wavering distraction in the body behind him. Actually... this tactic was probably more effective against Kaname than against him, as the pureblood often seemed truly physically captivated by his touch.

Momentarily lost in the hot haze that shot through him at Zero's sensual contact, Kaname almost didn't notice the vines snapping towards his ankles until he felt them brush his skin. Reacting quickly, the pureblood threw himself backwards, tugging Zero down with him as they hit the ground and rolled. Both bodies thudded hard onto the earth. Kaname used the movement to distract his opponent's concentration as he kicked free of the vines before the thorns could bite through his pants.

Zero rolled with Kaname, but then gave a quick, sharp twist as they started to slow. He broke free of the pureblood's grip and sprang away. They were both on their feet again in a moment, regarding one another warily.

Although the grassy earth was not so padded and forgiving as the practice mats they would use in the gym, the two vampires found that vast expanse of the villa's moonlit lawn gave them much more room for their practice. The estate's isolation and completely vampire population gave them the freedom to flex their powers in the open without fear of discovery.

Well, _one _of them was flexing their powers, anyway.

"Your control has become quite good," Kaname commented approvingly. Perspiration glistened on the pale brow and made the dark hair cling in curly ringlets to the sides of the pureblood's face and neck. Zero had him ever more on the defensive lately. The ex-human's new abilities had blossomed very nicely... no pun intended.

Zero feinted and the pureblood dodged, having to avoid both fists and vines. Kaname landed a swift, sound blow to his opponent's gut, but only barely avoided getting his arm sliced open by a blur of thorns. He dodged, but couldn't avoid the tail end of one vine that snapped back and caught his cheek, grazing the cheekbone and drawing a faint line of blood.

Kaname winced at the burn of the wound, feeling the mild sting of shock to his system. The cut was small and his ability to resist anti-vampire wounds was high, but each little nick still exacted a cost on his endurance and performance. He had to be careful not to let himself be caught too many times, or cut too deeply. He knew that one or two serious hits from Zero's thorn-barbed vines and he would be in trouble. It would be equivalent to being shot by the Bloody Rose. The pureblood delighted in the challenge, although he was currently at a disadvantage due to their arrangement regarding the use of his powers.

"I should think you would welcome the chance to try yourself against a harder challenge..." Kaname murmured tauntingly, wiping the blood from his cheek with the back of his hand.

Zero winced and almost fell to one knee at the blaze of pain from the impact of Kaname's blow. It had probably cracked a rib or two, but that would mend. Zero knew Kaname was hardly holding back now... but then, neither was he. Not that they wanted to hurt one another, but both of them were far too competitive to pull their punches much once they really got going. The hunter did not let himself fall though. He could _not _let himself go down unprotected for even an instant, or Kaname would have him. The pureblood may not be utilizing his powers right now, but he was still faster and stronger than Zero.

The scent of Kaname's blood in the air made Zero's eyes flash briefly red. The hunter smirked sarcastically. "You're just complaining because you can't win in five seconds anymore..." he shot back, but his breath was coming hard and ragged. Kaname was wearing him down. He was getting much better at controlling his new abilities, but his endurance was one of the areas on which he was still working. Using his vine powers in a concentrated, directed manner like this for an extended period of time took a heavy toll on his energy levels. The pureblood was well aware of this and played to that weakness, waiting for Zero to get too weary to keep throwing the dangerous, sinewy barbs at him.

Zero dodged as Kaname appeared suddenly in front of him. He blocked the flurry of incoming blows with rapid counter-strikes. His forearms smarted from catching the brunt of the impacts. His muscles burned and his chest was heaving from the effort, but the release of the fight felt good. Kaname may always outdo him in just about everything, but at least it was truly no longer easy for the pureblood.

Kaname's breathing was almost painfully rapid in the cool night air. He sprang away from Zero before the ex-human could try to trap him. Zero's abilities made it that he had to keep moving so the hunter couldn't get a fix on him. On a purely vampire level, Zero's powers were impressive, but would not have given someone like Kaname much pause. The fact that they packed a hunter punch behind them however... that made things tricky. Not to mention effective. The couple of small nicks Kaname had obtained already during the match made him a little slower and wearier than usual. His body and muscles ached more than he let on.

In the beginning, he'd started sparring with Zero as a way to try to coax the boy out of his despondency. He had intentionally drawn things out then so as not to squash the ex-human too quickly. But now, after all that had happened, Zero was much more of a challenge, and Kaname savored sharpening himself against the hunter's determined steel as much as he enjoyed pushing Zero to practice and expand his growing abilities.

"True, more like _ten_ seconds now..." Kaname retorted with the familiar smug little smile that was guaranteed to get Zero's goad. With pureblood speed he was behind the hunter again in an instant, grabbing the ex-human's arm and twisting it behind his back.

"You wish!" Zero grit out between his teeth, his heart pounding hard as Kaname caught hold of his other wrist and pulled it in against Zero's own body, pinning the hunter's arm down to his side. Kaname may still give him an overwhelming and futile urge to pound the pureblood senseless when they were sparring, but the hunter really did enjoy matching himself against Kaname as well. If he could hold his own against Kaname... he could hold his own against anyone. He was still a ways off from that point, especially considering that Kaname continued to play with a handicap, but that day would come... he promised himself that. That day would definitely come.

Kaname's grip tightened, his hot breath brushing Zero's neck. He obviously intended to end the match now. Zero had other ideas, however. Almost without conscious direction, thorny vines erupted from the surface of his captive arms, morphing out of his skin. Zero's face creased in a deep grimace. It didn't feel too good when that happened. It wasn't _exactly_ painful, but it felt very strange. Maybe someday he would get used to it, but he wasn't yet and it still unnerved him a little.

Kaname realized what was happening and released Zero quickly, but not before the thorns had cut and scratched his palms and his left inner forearm. The burn radiating from the injuries was intense. He'd not been cut _very_ deeply, but it was more than enough to be significant.

Zero knew it and pressed his advantage, forcing his exhausted body to pivot around and making his weary and aching will send another thick barrage of vines after the pureblood. Vampire abilities had always looked effortless to him... but he was quite painfully aware now that prolonged use could really wear one out. Zero could have sworn his brain was as bruised as body and he felt drained. It seemed to him as if he had a certain reserve of strength from which to pull, and each time he flexed his powers, it dipped into that reservoir. By now he was just about running on empty.

Kaname dodged, but his body was suddenly sluggish, his movements feeling clumsy and lagging well behind his normal speed as hunter poison burned through his veins. His bleeding arms smarted like hell, his head was swimming and he knew he was in trouble. He could have easily called timeout. Due to the aggressive nature of their sparring, he and Zero had agreed long ago that either of them could call for a break or a no-fault end to a match at any time if things went too far. But neither of them ever had and Kaname wasn't about to now.

Adrenaline was pumping wildly through his body and his heart instinctively leapt up into his throat at his increased vulnerability, but Kaname had mastered his fear response to the sting of hunter inflicted injury – at least in relation to Zero. Kaname trusted him and he kept his mind in the game, narrowly avoiding Zero's barbs and feinting to the left to give himself some more breathing room.

Zero knew him too well. When Kaname felt off balance, his tendency was to pull back and regroup. The ex-human anticipated the maneuver and was already moving to intercept. Kaname felt the vine's he'd intended to avoid snake around his legs. A pall of detached calm blanketed his mind as he slid into a coolly lethal and instinctive state that allowed the pureblood to think and react instantaneously without his mind being clouded by emotion or even pain, compensating for his weakened body. His fingers lengthened instantly to claws and he gave a quick slash, severing the knot of tendrils and stumbling backwards before they could pull him down. The severed vines oozed crimson for a moment before quickly sealing off and retracting.

Zero cried out and stumbled as a sudden flash of sharp, intense pain ghosted across his senses. It wasn't exactly that he could feel the vines being cut, but it did feel as if it was his body that had been slashed, although _where _exactly he couldn't have said.

Kaname froze at the sound of Zero's agonized cry. The "sap" on his fingers was disturbingly red. It didn't quite smell like blood, but it looked like it, and it did smell somehow like _Zero. _The combination jerked him out of the defensive mode he had slid into, his heart suddenly racing in his ears. Always, he had to be conscious of the danger he could pose to others, especially if he let himself go too instinctual. He walked a fine line in trying to throw himself in the match without using the same level of lethal-mindedness he would use with an actual enemy. He had a fairly good grip on that balance, but now he was suddenly worried. He'd never cut Zero's vines before, he didn't know what that might do and for half a moment the fear that he could have really hurt the hunter completely distracted him.

Zero, however, was still moving. He was used to working through pain and the brief flash, although excruciating, did not linger. The split second it took Kaname to realize this was a split second too long. He wasn't moving fast enough to pull away as vines twisted around his wrists and curled around his knees at about the same time Zero crashed into him. The hunter's movements had lost a lot of their control due to pain and fatigue and sheer momentum was mostly what carried he and the pureblood down to the ground.

As soon as Kaname's back hit, the vines around his wrists and legs burrowed into the earth, others erupting out of the dirt to snap tight around him, keeping him pinned. Despite the wild pounding of blood in his ears and his natural cornered fight-or-flight response, Kaname noted that the vines weren't barbed. They were smooth and devoid of thorns. Zero was trying to restrain him, but was apparently not willing to inflict any further injury or cut him up any more. The pureblood twisted and struggled for a moment, but Zero, who was half sprawled, half laying atop him, grabbed his shoulders. His hands slid swiftly to Kaname's neck, but he didn't squeeze, instead he did something far more effective at quelling the pureblood. He cupped Kaname's neck between his palms, his thumbs gilding deliberately from the pureblood's jaw down to the base of the pale throat. Both of their chests were heaving rapidly from exertion and Zero could feel Kaname's racing pulse under his fingers. It made him feel weak for reasons other than his own total exhaustion.

Zero's probing thumb found _that _spot and Kaname shuddered, his struggles reluctantly ceasing as he conceded that the unthinkable had actually managed to happen. Zero had won this round. The pureblood was in the unique, although not unfamiliar position of being both humiliated and proud. Mostly proud though. He groaned softly through his teeth as Zero continued to worry his neck, the hunter's body resting so deliciously over him. Okay... so _intensely aroused _was going to replace both feelings momentarily if Zero kept that up.

Sheer adrenaline felt like about the only thing keeping Zero conscious, but exhilaration was covering his aches and pains at the moment. A slow, wide grin spread across his face as he looked down at Kaname, his rapid breathing brushing the pureblood's face and ruffling his hair. "I win..." he murmured in a delighted, slightly taunting voice that was made husky by sheer exhaustion.

Kaname couldn't repress a warm little shiver at the sound, even as he smirked ruefully, still panting for breath himself. Zero's scent all around him was not helping to clear his head at all. "You only just noticed?" he responded with amused glibness. "Then again, I suppose it _is _quite a shock..." the elegant smile was devilish. "Better enjoy it while you can."

Zero's eyes sparked with heated amusement and he gave a lazy smile as he dipped his head, licking sweet, salty perspiration from Kaname's throat and nipping at the exertion flushed skin lightly. "Oh, I will..." he murmured and he felt the pureblood's breath catch.

The hunter was spent to the point of being lightheaded. He was too exhausted to move and it was far too comfortable resting against the pureblood like this. He could not bring himself to pull away. Kaname routinely enjoyed teasing Zero unmercifully after he bested him, and the hunter felt it was more than time for a little payback. Resting his arms on either side of Kaname's shoulders, he slid his knee between Kaname's legs, letting it his thigh press intimately against the pureblood's body. His grin deepened a little as he felt the firm state of his lover's arousal against his leg. There was no denying that sparring together almost always turned them both on – it was in their natures.

Kaname groaned deeply, invitingly in his throat as Zero's light nips evolved into more intense and purposeful licking and sucking. They were technically in a fairly exposed location, but this corner of the lawn was out of sight of the house and the welcome blanket of the night held them close. There was no one around to see them but the staff, anyway. The rest of the visiting nobles had returned to Cross Academy yesterday.

Kaname's movements were pretty restricted by the way he was still pinned, but his hips rocked hungrily up against Zero, rubbing against his leg in a manner that was making Zero's stomach knot and flip-flop in desire. The hunter groaned and sucked harder on his lover's neck, fangs grazing the pale skin. He was surprised when he tasted the intoxicating flavor of blood in his mouth, his fangs cutting shallow grooves into Kaname's skin.

Kaname half growled, half whimpered in delight, jerking against Zero's thigh.

Zero hadn't thought he'd been applying enough pressure to actually draw blood and he realized Kaname's skin must be more fragile than usual because of the hits he'd taken during their match. His fingers slid searchingly down his lover's arms and he realized with a small jolt that Kaname's pinned hands and arms were still scored and bleeding sluggishly into the earth he was lying upon. Zero eased up a little. _Crap... how had he managed to forget that Kaname was injured? _

He didn't want to stop... he really didn't... but he didn't want to hurt Kaname either. He told himself that sternly and repeatedly. Zero was becoming a little bit bolder and more aggressive in matters of intimacy. He wasn't sure if that was because he was growing more comfortable with their relationship, or because whatever had happened to him when he was unconscious after the flood had made him become more vampire than before. Kaname wouldn't say that to him, but Zero could feel the subtle change within him, and he was sure the pureblood secretly thought the same. He didn't like to dwell on that idea, but he feared that it might be the case. And that that might be what was to blame for the fact that knowing that Kaname was vulnerable and bleeding right now excited him a little... an excitement that made Zero feel guilty. In the past, he would have tried to write it off to the uneasy enmity between them but that was no longer the case, so there had to be something _wrong_ with him that he could feel this way. He cared about Kaname deeply. So deeply it made his heart ache. It didn't matter what he wanted, he couldn't and wouldn't take it at Kaname's expense.

Kaname groaned sharply in protest as Zero's lips left his neck and the hunter leaned up on his elbows.

"You okay?" Zero questioned softly, trying to dredge up the energy to release the vines holding Kaname. Now that the initial adrenaline was fading, weariness was settling down hard upon him and it was growing hard concentrate.

Kaname blinked at the totally unexpected question as if trying to process what it meant and wondering why on earth Zero was _talking _when he wanted him to be doing something _entirely _different. Suddenly he seemed to understand and he wasn't sure if he felt touched or frustrated.

Zero was caught by the way Kaname's dark eyes glittered in the moonlight as he looked up at him. The pureblood's flushed lips were parted in breathless desire, showing a faint slip of fang behind them and his eyes... his eyes could just swallow Zero's soul completely. So strong and commanding, even though he was currently pinned to the earth... and yet at the same time, so open and trusting, so willing to give. There was a name for the emotion that Zero felt in that moment... but it flittered just beyond the edge of consciousness, a truth he wasn't quite ready fully process just yet.

"Fine, I'm fine..." Kaname promised quickly, urgently wishing he had his hands free so he could pull Zero back down to him. His grip on his powers was weak because of the anti-vampire wounds he'd taken, but he tugged lightly at Zero with his will, trying to give him the idea.

Zero looked unconvinced. "No you're not," he murmured, knowing how Kaname was about _not _taking care of himself. He shifted over a little and started licking Kaname's lacerated arm gently, urging the wounds to close and enjoying the taste of the blood. Kaname meant so much to him... his trust was so precious... Zero couldn't possibly risk endangering that on strange, stupid impulses. He was afraid of messing up the comfortable peace that seemed to have grown between them the past few weeks.

Kaname banged his head back softly against the ground in frustration. Damn it, he was on _fire _here... It was both maddening and yet incredibly dear how _human _Zero could be sometimes. Zero assumed that because Kaname was injured he might not be in the mood. He probably even felt guilty for feeling that way himself if the tender, conflicted concern in those beautiful violet eyes was any indicator of what was going through his head. The ex-human didn't understand that to a vampire and especially to a pureblood, a little bloodshed was practically foreplay. Yes, Kaname felt intensely vulnerable due to the nature of his wounds... but he trusted Zero. He wished deeply that Zero couldjust understand. He wanted Zero to stop being afraid and let himself _be_ a vampire. He wanted to not be afraid that Zero would look at him like a freak if he admitted that this was exciting to him.

Sometimes he fantasized about dragging his claws down Zero's sides as he kissed the boy breathless and drained his blood, imagined what it would be like to take him so hard he tore him... but he did not dare. He had no way of knowing if those things could be pleasurable for Zero like they could be for him and feared both hurting and terrifying him. So he strove to always be careful when he made love to the ex-human. He was sure the hunter would not understand if he strayed too far down certain paths. It was safer if he encouraged Zero to experiment in those slightly darker realms with him instead, but Zero seemed unwilling or uninterested. Kaname was half tempted to try getting his lover drunk again and see what happened... but he felt incredibly silly and mortified for even thinking along those lines.

The pureblood sighed softly as he stared up at the stars, Zero's mouth gently moving against his arm and inspiring a deep warmth in his heart, even if the rest of his body was protesting. He tilted his head to look down at the ex-human's silver head. Kaname loved Zero for who he was, and if who he was meant that the pureblood needed to squelch his desires for the more purely vampiric forms of lovemaking... then that was not too much of a sacrifice to make. Nothing was.

"Zero..." Kaname murmured his lover's name softly, just to say it. Zero's body was growing heavier against him, his motions slowing, and Kaname supposed it was just as well that they hadn't gotten too into it too fast; he might have misjudged how much strength Zero had left after their draining match.

Zero lifted his head slowly, and his glazed, heavy-lidded gaze told Kaname he was right. Zero seemed to understand what was happening and was trying to fight it as he felt his body threatening to shut down. _No, damn it... not here, not like this... _

His head felt so heavy... he just needed to rest for a second... Kaname's chest was so warm and inviting as his head sank to rest there...

"Zero?" Kaname tried ineffectually to rouse the hunter and a wry, slightly consternated look crossed his face. Zero hadn't released him and the vines still held him firmly rooted to the earth. Well... good thing they were somewhere safe and there was nowhere pressing they needed to be. He knew it could take a while for Zero to recharge after he'd expended himself like he had. With a soft, resigned chuckle, Kaname let his head fall back to rest against the grass and stared up at the night sky once more.

It was very peaceful lying here under the moon with Zero. After a minute or two, the vines binding Kaname retracted and slid away on their own, the unconscious hunter too drained to maintain them without conscious effort. Kaname's arms slid up to wrap around Zero's shoulders as the ex-human slumbered on his chest. He was glad to be free... but in no hurry to move. His body ached like the dickens and the ground was leeching cold into his back... but Zero's warmth atop him more than made up for it, and the silent restfulness of just lying together under the stars like this was too alluring to resist.

He ran his fingers lightly through Zero's soft, perspiration soaked hair. Zero had really put everything into their match, he was so proud of him. The delicate silver chain around Kaname's wrist was stained with his blood, but still glinted softly in the moonlight as he moved. Aido had made them a new set of charmed bracelets while he and the other nobles were visiting. Kaname had not been wearing his bracelet the day of the flood, but Zero had and had lost it in the river. They didn't really need to wear them here at the villa when they were alone... but Kaname kind of liked the small physical representation of their relationship.

Aido and Zero had worked together to set a number of different charms around the villa actually. It was common practice for vampire nobles and purebloods to have certain scent and sound barriers placed in various areas to ensure privacy when entertaining guests or the like. Modern methods of sound proofing had removed some of the need for them, but not all. You could hire contractors to come set the charms for you, but Aido had wanted to do it and it had been much more entertaining to watch him and Zero quibble and collaborate over it. The pureblood rather thought that in the end he actually trusted the charms a lot more knowing who had crafted them.

Kaname lost track of time, dozing a bit himself as his body tried to recoup. It was possibly several hours later when he felt Zero stirring against him. The hunter pushed groggily up onto one elbow and blinked, not looking like he was really fully awake. Kaname smiled softly. "Zero?" The hunter was adorable with bleary eyes and his mussed hair sticking out at all angles.

Zero shook his head and seemed to remember where he was. He colored immediately as he realized he'd passed out on top of Kaname like this, although there was no denying how comfortable the warm body under him and the warm arms around him were. He quickly pushed himself off of the pureblood, rolling once and pushing up to his knees with a groan. He hurt _everywhere. _He realized that he'd gotten spoiled... Kaname usually let him drink after they sparred, allowing him to enjoy a near pureblood-like immunity to the after effects of the abandon with which they threw themselves at one another. But given the pureblood's recent injury, he wasn't about to ask or accept such this time.

Kaname pushed onto his elbow as well, leveraging himself up stiffly to sit. He too, groaned ruefully. He was already starting to mend, but it would take a while for the hunter inflicted wounds to fully fade. "That's it," he murmured in dry amusement. "I get to start using my powers too or I'm not fighting you anymore..."

Zero shot him an equally dry look as he struggled to fight the inexorable tug of gravity that was attempting to hold him on his knees despite his best intentions about getting up. "You say that as if it were a _bad _thing?"

They both chuckled. Zero finally won his battle with gravity and rose to his feet. Without even thinking about it, he offered Kaname a hand up. Without even thinking about it, Kaname accepted.

\--------------------------------------

Steam rose about Zero in billowing clouds as he stood in the shower. Hot streams of water caressed his aching body, feeling both good and painful at the same time. He glanced ruefully at the dark bruises forming on his arms and chest as he lathered on the soap. There was a little pride there too though. He had _won _for once after all. Even if, ironically, that meant that he was going to have to settle for his body heal at its natural accelerated rate instead of the super-accelerated rate that Kaname gave him.

Just as well, he supposed. In a real fight Kaname wasn't going to be around afterwards. Zero considered with a small frown that he ought to not take the easy way out so often. He couldn't afford to become dependent on soaking up Kaname's healing powers all the time.

Zero stopped himself with a sigh. Here he was, thinking like a hunter still. As if that was still his future and his life. He didn't know how else to be... but the truth was, that path was closing to him more every day, and he just didn't want to see it.

Zero pushed the thoughts aside, running his hands through his dripping hair. Nope, he was not going to let his mind go that way right now. It had been a good night and he wasn't going to spoil it. He started thinking about packing instead. School was starting again in a few days. The other nobles had already gone back and Zero assumed he and Kaname would soon follow. He wasn't a student, and had nothing to do there, but the touch of normalcy was something to look forward to, he supposed. Even if going back was also a slightly bittersweet thought too. There wasn't a hall or a trail in that place he hadn't walked with Yuki.

Zero bit his lip. No, that train of thought wasn't safe either, apparently. Okay, so packing... Zero started compiling a mental list of what he needed to get together. Kaname had apparently moved all his things here from his dorm room while he'd still been unconscious, because they had been in the closets and drawers of Zero's new bedroom when the ex-human had started poking around. Of course, there were a lot of other clothes in his closet too... designer label stuff like Kuran wore but that had obviously been purchased for Zero. The hunter had rolled his eyes at that, remembering the time back at the dorm that Kaname had gone through his closet and despaired of finding anything he considered suitable for Zero to wear. Zero avoided the unasked for clothes usually, but he considered bringing some of them back to school with them anyway. Kaname was rather hard on garments when he got... excited. Zero was already finding out that it was necessary to have a large wardrobe to cover the damages and if Kaname was going to wreck them, he supposed it was okay that he'd paid for them.

Zero turned his face up towards the spray, closing his eyes and letting it sluice his face and hair. _Dark water pelted his face, closed over his head... _Zero dropped the soap and quickly yanked his head back, heart thudding in unwarranted fear. He wiped his face with his hand and scowled at the soft tremble that shook through him. It was stupid that he still had flash backs to the flood sometimes but he had almost died, he supposed. It would pass with time.

Grimly, Zero pushed his head back under the shower head, closing his eyes and forcing himself to stay there and face the tentative unease in the pit of his stomach. It was just water, for crying out loud. Get over it.

When he left the bathroom a few minutes later, towel around his waist, Zero found Kaname sitting on his bed, obviously waiting for him. The pureblood dressed in fresh clothing and also appeared fresh from a shower – his dark hair damp, the faint scent of the rose scented soap he used clinging to him. Zero was glad to see that Kaname's visible injuries from sparring earlier had faded, yet he felt a twinge of disappointment at the same time... which he repressed quickly with a flash of irritation at himself. Kaname was wearing long sleeves and elegant little fingerless gloves that were probably hiding the still healing marks on his arms and palms. That was a little odd, he didn't usually hide those things from Zero, but the hunter said nothing.

Zero wasn't surprised to find Kaname here, or by the softly concerned look on his lover's face. _Crap. _He hadn't been guarding his emotions. Kaname must have felt his moment of panic in the shower and come to be sure he was all right. It was sweet, but it was embarrassing too. Kaname could be so smotheringly protective sometimes.

"I'm fine," he mumbled with a sigh in answer to the unspoken question as he headed for the closet.

Kaname simply nodded. Yes, he was sure Zero was, but... he couldn't help the need to be here. "The water?" he asked simply, his tone suggesting he already knew the answer.

Zero yanked his robe out of the closet, wishing Kuran would just drop it. The pureblood was as bad as Yuki had been about things like this. "It's nothing."

Kaname's eyes traced the bruises on Zero's strong, lithe body, admiring the way tiny droplets of water still clung to his skin before Zero slipped into his robe, covering them. Zero turned back towards him and Kaname quickly masked the predatory hunger in his gaze. The bruises were enticing to the pureblood... especially because he had made them. Not that he liked Zero being hurt, but the boy would heal soon and the vampire view of such things was just... _different. _Too different to put into human terms. Zero would not understand, so Kaname hid his feelings.

"I know. It has happened to me as well," Kaname murmured softly and simply. He knew that admitting his own weakness would probably be more comforting than picking at Zero's.

Zero's violet eyes snapped to the pureblood in surprise. He hadn't realized Kaname had had similar flashbacks and was more than a little surprised that he admitted to it.

Kaname's grin turned wry. "What, you haven't noticed that we have an indoor Olympic sized swimming pool and I never use it?"

No, actually, Zero hadn't. Even though their guests had, and Zero had ended up inadvertently joining them when Aido pushed him in. But Kaname had merely sipped a drink and watched in amusement from a poolside chair. Zero realized no one had expected him to join them. Suddenly, Zero felt inexplicably guilty. Not only for not noticing that Kaname was avoiding the water, but also because he'd unconsciously fallen into the same mindset as the other nobles, accepting that Kaname was apart and different from them. Zero did not normally think that way and he didn't like it.

"Sorry," Zero said softly, his manner suddenly softening. He tied the sash on his robe, but his gaze remained on Kaname. "I thought you just didn't want to."

"Well, that too," Kaname admitted lightly. He was used to not mingling over much with others and accustomed to needing to hold himself apart. He didn't want to concern Zero too much, or make a big deal out of nothing. He just wanted him to know that he was not alone in dealing with the aftermath of their recent ordeal.

"The point is, I believe it's a natural response that will fade eventually as we continue to confront it," the pureblood said pragmatically, finding it less embarrassing if he looked at it from a clinical, psychological point of view.

Zero nodded, having thought more or less the same thing. He picked up the discarded towel and rubbed his short silver hair with it, halting the water that was dripping down the back of his neck and wetting his robe.

"Yeah." He appreciated what Kaname said, and the support he was obviously trying to offer. It meant a lot to Zero, but didn't really want to talk about it anymore. He sat down on the bed and dropped the towel. Reaching over, he hesitantly squeezed Kaname's hand for a moment before dropping it and looking away. Casual displays of affection outside of the heat of the moment were still a bit awkward for him.

There was a soft knock that drew their eyes to the doorway of the bedroom. Seiren was standing respectfully outside the open door, having knocked on the frame. "Your visitor has arrived, Kaname-sama," she announced. Normally, upon finding Kaname in Zero's bedroom, she would not have interrupted, open door or no, but Kaname had requested immediate notification of this arrival.

Seiren had been living at the villa the whole time that they had. Her presence remained barely felt and Zero rarely saw her save when Kaname apparently bid her to feel free to mingle with the other nobles when they were visiting. Zero had finally realized that Seiren was more than just another protective Night Class student and self-appointed bodyguard. She _was _Kaname's bodyguard and his left-tenant. She was his eyes and ears that could move around where he could not, a completely loyal extension of the pureblood's reach and agent of his will. Zero knew enough about vampires to know that the honor of serving the Kurans in such a trusted position had probably been passed down in Seiren's family for generations. It was funny how that thought didn't irritate him now like it once would have.

"Thank you, Seiren," Kaname replied. "Tell him we shall be down shortly." Seiren withdrew and Kaname turned back to Zero with a small smile. "You'd better put something else on."

Zero made a face and groaned, flopping back on the bed in a recalcitrant gesture. "I'm sure whoever it is doesn't want to see _me, _Kaname. You go on." The hunter yawned. He was exhausted and didn't feel like sitting around and pretending not to be awkwardly out of place while Kaname entertained whoever had come calling. The gloves made sense now, at least. Kaname had been expecting company when he dressed.

Kaname gave an amused, somewhat secretive smile. Rising to his feet, he crossing his arms and looked down at Zero expectantly. "I'm rather sure he does. Come on, it won't take long."

Zero's eyebrows rose, although he didn't budge. It was already morning; he could see the muted glint of sunlight through the window. Come to think of it, it was actually pretty late for vampires to go visiting, wasn't it? Kaname was usually in bed before sun-up. "Who is it?" he inquired, reluctantly curious now despite himself.

Kaname's grin deepened a little. "If you want to know, get dressed and come find out."

Zero reached over and snagged one of the pillows near his hand. He lobbed it at Kaname in peevish frustration. The pureblood caught the pillow easily with a small chuckle. He tossed it back onto the bed and headed for the closet, shifting the hangers around. "You could wear these..." he suggested lightly, not really bothering much about what he was suggesting since he was well aware that Zero was not about to wear anything he picked out for him. It had the desired effect, however. Zero pried himself off the bed and stomped over.

"Out. Out of my closet, you're not allowed in there," the hunter muttered, giving Kaname a light, irritated shove. He grabbed a shirt at random from one of the hangers and a pair of jeans that was lying on the closet floor. He didn't particularly care if Kaname's visitor thought him underdressed. If Kaname wasn't going to tell him who it was, then he wasn't responsible for whether or not he was presentable for the occasion.

Kaname backed off, still grinning in wry amusement. Zero was so predictable sometimes.

Zero knew he was only going to amuse Kaname more if he insisted the other vampire leave while he changed, so instead he intentionally untied his robe and shrugged, letting it drop to the floor. Grabbing a fresh pair of underwear from his drawer, he started to dress. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Kaname stiffen, hunger flittering briefly but visibly though those gorgeous dark eyes. The hunter smirked inwardly. Kaname was the one forcing him to do this; it wasn't his fault if the pureblood was going to have to struggle to keep his mind on his guest now.

"You know, the new term starts tomorrow and we're not remotely ready to go. You're going to miss your first night of classes," Zero remarked as he did up his jeans and reached for his shirt, masterfully managing to mostly ignore the way Kaname's eyes were devouring him. "Not a very good example for the Dorm President..."

Kaname's manner changed slightly. The amused look faded to a more serious one. "Actually, Zero... I'm not going back."

Zero froze, shirt in hand, and turned to look at Kaname in surprise. Obviously, the thought had not crossed his mind.

Kaname winced inwardly. He' been rather hoping that Zero might have at least considered the possibility himself, had hoped that he might have grown comfortable here. The pureblood had done everything he could to make this place appealing.

"That part of my life is over," Kaname said quietly. The Academy had served its purpose and his plans. Rido and Ichiou were both gone, neither could control him anymore and he did not need to hide from his domineering guardian's control. Cross was gone, and Yuki... was gone. There was nothing to hold him there now. "My affairs are no longer being managed by others. Too long though, they have been, and I need to reestablish control and loyalty in what remains of the fractured branches of my parents' syndeo. I need to step in and begin taking an active role both in my business concerns and in vampire society at large in order to maintain balance. It is no longer convenient nor fully possible for me to do all that from the Academy," Kaname explained. His gaze was slightly troubled, as if these were not tasks to which he looked forward. His duty was clear, however, and he played the game well enough to know where his path lay now.

Zero understood what Kaname was saying, but the whole thing still came as rather a shock. He... he simply hadn't considered not going back. It was incredibly hard for him to let go of that part of his own life so easily. Realistically, he knew Kaname was right and it was probably time for him to move on as well, he wasn't even actually in _school _there any more for goodness sake. How long could he hang around before it just became pathetic? But still, the sudden prospect of change painted a huge, unsettling blank in his future that Zero wasn't sure how to handle.

"What about the Night Class?" Zero asked quietly, still holding his shirt and apparently having forgotten about it.

"Most of them will continue to attend," the pureblood replied. "I have already spoken to them about this. I will still support the school and shall return to visit as often as possible. It is invaluable to the pacifist movement. But I will be more useful elsewhere now. In order to further the goals of co-existence the movement must eventually spread beyond the walls of the Academy, Zero." He very much wanted the ex-human to understand his motivations.

_You spoke with them about it, but you didn't tell me. _Zero looked down at the shirt in his hands, trying to understand what he was feeling. Kaname's words made sense, he understood that the pureblood was doing what he needed to do, but he couldn't help the slightly lost, perhaps selfish thought: _where does that leave me? _Of course, Kaname had a million responsibilities to tend to and things that needed his attention... but what was _Zero_ supposed to do now?

He'd never considered anything but being a hunter... at least, back when he had considered a future at all. He'd taken a few hesitant steps testing his wings in that direction before Yuki's death. But so much had changed since then. He was with Kaname now, and he had to be realistic. He could not expect Kaname to approve of him pursing that path. It was ridiculous to think that the hunters would ever even really accept him anyway.

"Will you stay here, then?" Zero asked quietly, his tone a little more numb than he intended.

"Yes, at least some of the time. I'm going to need to be doing a lot of traveling in the very near future, but I thought, we could..." Kaname trailed off. His mood had been shifting more and more towards uncertain as they talked and he had a softly anguished look hidden behind his eyes now. Zero had asked where _he _was staying, not where _they _were staying and it silently terrified the pureblood. He had not imagined not having Zero with him.

"I'm sorry I didn't say something sooner," Kaname apologized softly. The look on Zero's face was not giving him the impression that the hunter was thrilled with this discussion. "I did not think there was anything still there for you either." Zero had graduated; certainly he didn't expect to stay there forever? "Look... is this all right with you? I had thought... _hoped_... that you would stay here as well, but if you would rather return to the Academy, I can try to rearrange things. Or... you can go back and I can try to join you again as soon as I can, when I can..." the words trailed off to a whisper, Kaname's eyes betraying just how deeply he hated the idea of being separated from his lover. He'd rather drink acid than send Zero back there alone, but if it's what Zero wanted, he would try to make something work.

Zero realized his feelings must be showing much more transparently than he'd intended. He shook his head. "No, I... no, that's fine," he assured. He realized he was still standing there, stupidly holding his shirt and he tugged it on quickly over his head, shoving his hands into his pockets a little more uncertainly than he might have wished. Going back to the Academy alone was far too desolate a prospect. For better or worse... his place was with Kaname. Even if that was still hard for him to accept in some ways, he knew now it was true.

Actually, going back or staying here... it really made very little difference when he stopped to think about it. It was just that the change forced him to face the rudderless void of his own future. Like one who had been living under the death sentence of a terminal illness, Zero had gotten used to not thinking much about the future. He had never tried to picture where he expected to be five or ten years from now or anything like that. Insane and dead was where he had expected to be. Kaname's intervention had opened the future back up to him... but what was he supposed to do with it?

Being Kaname's lover was all well and fine, but... but... it was hard to accept the thought of that being pretty much the sole definition of his life. Kaname was quite able to support them both with ease, and more than happy to do it, but the thought of always being dependant on his lover and having nothing to do but hang around the estate waiting for Kaname all the time was a bleak prospect. _Maybe I could take up knitting or watch soap operas_, he thought acerbically.

But... he would be with Kaname. Despite himself, a rouge part of his heart was whispering that ultimately that was what mattered. Even the pragmatic part of his mind had to admit that in reality, he couldn't afford to be away from Kaname for too long. Somehow he'd just... figure everything else out. It wasn't Kaname's problem and he didn't want the pureblood to feel like he had to try to rearrange his whole life to suit him, so Zero tried to keep his feelings to himself.

"I'd rather stay with you," Zero said quietly, shrugging and looking away so he wouldn't flush at the words. "It's nice here," he added quickly.

Kaname smiled warmly, feeling like he could breathe again. He was deeply relieved to hear Zero say that and quite touched to know that he felt that way. His eyes stung a little and he blinked quickly. "I'm glad," he said softly. A faint, mischievous glint slowly entered his eyes once more. "I think our guest might have been rather put out if we had to change arrangements on him."

Zero looked puzzled but Kaname continued speaking before he could inquire after his meaning. "You know I'm very proud of you, Zero," the pureblood said truthfully. "You have grown much in your abilities."

Zero did flush this time, studying the floor and suddenly wishing Kaname would shut up... although... at the same time he couldn't help feeling a little pleased at the praise too. He wasn't sure what the sudden topic change had to do with anything though.

"I can help you hone those skills. I can teach you about being a vampire," Kaname continued, reaching out and cupping Zero's chin in his hand, tipping the other's head gently back up towards him. "But your potential is more expansive. There are things that I cannot teach you. You're a hunter, Zero." Kaname's gaze was earnest and intense. "And you're good at it. I think it's time you begin your training again in earnest."

Zero looked thoroughly confused and surprised now. "You... _want _me to hunt vampires...?" he asked a bit incredulously.

Kaname reached out and brushed Zero's face lightly with his fingertips. "I want you to be who you are, Zero, and to do whatever makes you feel fulfilled. And despite what you may think, hunters and vampire nobility do share a somewhat common cause – we all realize the necessity of dealing with those who have fallen into madness before they can harm the innocent."

Zero was still staring at Kaname nonplussed, but it was true, he supposed. He'd seen members of the Night Class terminate Level E's on Kaname's orders before. His thoughts were spinning a bit, but he couldn't help the thread of warmth inside him, lightly squeezing his heart. It was kind of... nice... that Kaname cared about his future like this.

Kaname shook his head. "The first step to co-existence is seeing past our differences to what we have in common, and recognizing the part that each of us play in the natural order of things, is it not? Or so Cross used to tell me, quite endlessly." He smiled fondly in recollection. "It is why I supported the formation of a hunter class at the Academy." He shrugged. "But mostly, I want you to be happy, Zero," he admitted. "To see you fulfill your full potential. And to do that... you need the guidance of another hunter."

Kaname had stepped back and his gaze now flicked towards the door just as a figure appeared. His senses were still dulled from earlier, but he'd not missed the approaching footsteps in the outer room. The rude audacity of the intrusion would have been surprising, save for who it was coming from.

A tall man with an unruly mane of dark curls stopped in the doorway, leaning one shoulder carelessly against the frame as fixed the gaze of his single eye upon the two vampires in the room. The unmistakable scent of cigarette smoke and leather followed him, although not in an unpleasant manner.

Yagari Toga flicked his battered, signature cowboy hat back a little on his head with one hand, a clear gesture of irritation to those who knew him.

"Hey, Vampire," he addressed Kaname in a slow, annoyed drawl. "You drag me all the way out here to the backside of nowhere and then have your toadies keep me cooling my heels in your parlor... that's not very nice."

Kaname knew well that the master hunter was actually irritated about another matter, but he seemed rather like Zero in the way that irritation with anything turned into a snarky, sarcastic mood towards everything. Or rather, Kaname reflected briefly, it was probably more the other way around, and Zero was like Yagari, which made sense considering the elder hunter's involvement in his early life.

"My apologies for keeping you waiting," Kaname said dryly. "I'm glad to see you've obviously already made yourself at home."

"M-master Toga?" Zero said in blank shock, totally unprepared for his unexpected arrival and grasping belatedly that _this _was the guest Kaname had been expecting.

"Hey, kid," Yagari greeted. The hunter's gaze switched to Zero and it warmed imperceptibly, the faintest hint of a smile tugging at his weathered features as he pushed away from the door frame and entered the room. He crossed over to Zero and ruffled his hair in greeting. Zero shot him the expected dry look, although it was tempered with surprise. Yagari tipped Zero's chin up a bit on his fingers, giving the boy an appraising look before withdrawing his hand.

"You're looking good," he remarked, pulling a cigarette from his shirt pocket and lighting up. His expression was unreadable. It was an understatement of course. Compared to the first time he'd seen Zero after his full vampire awakening, the boy was a picture of health, strength and stability. It did him good to see such a change for the better, so much more so than Yagari would admit. But long life experience had taught him to be wary of too much unexplained good fortune. Whatever had slowed his descent, he knew Zero's ultimate prognosis. "Guess the air out here agrees with you..." he shot a suspicious look towards Kaname as if trying to puzzle out what the pureblood's game was in all of this. Zero he may be ready to trust, to a point... but Kaname, not at all.

Kaname simply smiled with cool, blank innocence. "The air is very clear out here," he agreed simply, giving nothing away. Yagari didn't know he was giving Zero his blood, precious few people did, and Kaname was not about to enlighten him. Let the hunter think whatever he liked. If Zero wanted to confide in him, that was his affair. Kaname was only tolerating the man's presence for his lover's sake. Kaname's smile darkened a trifle. "Or it _was..._" he added in the same conversational tone, giving his hand a little wave in front of his face that indicated he did not care for the strong scent of the hunter's tobacco. As a hunter, Yagari had to be well aware that the brand of cigarettes he favored was particularly strong smelling and therefore likely to offend more highly developed vampire senses. He was smoking in front of Kaname just to annoy him.

Zero was actually unforgivably a trifle amused to watch Kaname and Yagari staring each other down. _There _were two people he never wanted to see too deeply at odds. He couldn't help feeling somewhat flustered and embarrassed though at the Yagari having noticed the change in him. The last thing he wanted to admit to his former Sensei was that he was more vampire than ever and surviving on a diet of pure blood, from a vampire who – oh by the way – he was also sleeping with. No. Some things Yagari _definitely _did not need to know. It was good to see the elder man though. Zero didn't realize he had missed him until now.

"Sensei, what brings you out here? Are you on business for the Association?" Zero inquired both to break the ice and change the subject. Yagari had already stated that Kaname had apparently gotten him out here, but Zero wasn't sure in what manner.

"Not exactly," Yagari said with a soft snort. He gave Zero a speculative look, although he supposed he shouldn't be surprised that Zero did not know, and was not in on what had happened. "You could say I'm working 'special assignment' right now, right Kuran?"

Kaname inclined his head slightly. "He's going to be staying with us for a while, Zero" he explained. The pureblood's tone subtly told just how much that _thrilled _him. "He will be working with you to bring you up to speed with where a hunter your age should be. I'm sure you've always been quite adept, so it shouldn't take too long." _Hopefully. _

Zero couldn't pretend he wasn't pleased by the prospect, but he was also quite shocked. He'd never imagined he'd be able to have Yagari as his full time teacher again. There was so much he wanted to ask him and talk with him about, so much he knew he had only brushed the surface on in their short time together in his childhood. But it seemed quite impossible that Yagari had decided to simply up and drop the rest of his life in favor of being a live-in tutor to a vampire pupil.

"I... thank you. But... surely... I mean... don't you have other things you need to be doing?" Zero's expressive eyes showed a little more of what he was feeling than he'd intended. Yagari was actually a bit surprised by what he saw in them. For a long time, Zero's eyes had been dull and dead, giving away nothing but the nihilistic acceptance of fate that had clung to him like Yagari's cigarette smoke. The renewed life he saw in them now reminded him more of how they had been when Zero was a child.

Yagari's initially hard expression had softened a bit. His wry, annoyed smirk showed a little amusement now as well. "Me? Nope, apparently not. Somehow my calendar has mysteriously emptied. I must assume that the entire vampire population has suddenly become vegetarian, because the Association swears they have nothing for me and suggested I take a vacation. No... suggested is too mild a word. Rather, they put me on mandatory leave." His smile was sardonic and he shot a brief glace towards Kaname once more. He was perfectly aware _who _had made sure his schedule was cleaned, and he wasn't sure if he was more irritated at being jerked around by a blood sucker, or at the notion that Kaname could affect that much influence over even the Hunter's Association. Although he had a feeling the Association had its own purposes at heart as well that probably did not align with the pureblood's. The fact that Zero seemed to be a pawn at the nexus of overlapping schemes by ruthless forces from both sides of the fence did not sit well with Yagari and that was part of the reason he was actually here.

Zero was equally able to guess who was behind such an extraordinary occurrence and his cheeks flushed in mortification. He understood that Kaname was doing this for him with the best of intentions, but the pureblood's methods and his expectation of always getting what he wanted could be downright embarrassing.

"Sensei, I'm so sorry, I didn't..." he trailed off, not sure what to say. It would be ungrateful to Kaname to protest that he hadn't asked for this, but he hated for Yagari to think he was in on manipulating him.

Fortunately, Yagari had no such illusions. If he had, the look on Zero's face completely put them to rest. He shook his head. "Forget it, kid. If I didn't want to be here, I wouldn't be. I figure someone's got to counter the corruptive influence of all these vampires on you." He smiled wryly. He'd trained many young hunters. Few of them had he felt as close to as Zero. He could not show it, because of his hard-learned wariness of vampires, and of what Zero had become, but he had always been fond of the boy. The hunters had written him off much too easily. Yagari had too.

He'd been like a second father to Zero when he was a child, but it was Cross, not he, who'd been willing to open his heart and his home to the orphan boy after he was turned. Yagari had had plenty of reasons... his life was not one in which a child would have fit... but even after all these years, they still tasted bitterly like excuses. The elder hunter was well aware that in losing Cross and Yuki, Zero had lost his family all over again. Perhaps that, more than anything else, was why he was here. Maybe, it was a chance to try and make up a little for past mistakes.

"Hey, what's up with these?" Yagari inquired in his normal, casually brusque manner as he suddenly caught Zero's arm. The short sleeved shirt the younger hunter was wearing did not hide the darkening purple black bruises from his recent skirmish.

Zero started slightly in surprise. He'd forgotten about them already. They would be mostly gone by tomorrow. "Nothing," he dismissed easily, if a bit self-consciously. "Kaname and I were sparring." He didn't want to admit to Yagari about his new powers. Not yet.

_Sparring, huh, riiight..._ Yagari's gaze narrowed slightly in concern, looking about as convinced as if he'd been told that Zero had 'fallen over a chair'. Yagari could not easily picture a pureblood vampire lowering himself to bother sparring with an ex-human, and took Zero's words to be a euphemism. _Meaning he randomly beat the snot out of you and you're not about to say so with him standing right there. _The hunter shot the pureblood a hard, cool look, but said nothing.

Kaname returned his gaze evenly and expressionlessly. He could tell what Yagari was thinking, but he felt no need to defend himself to the hunter. It wasn't any of Yagari's business what his and Zero's relationship was and Yagari would never believe him anyway. Kaname was not overly concerned _what _the hunter thought of him, but in a way, he was pleased that the man cared enough about Zero to be protective of him in that manner. His chief concern about this whole set up had been whether or not having Yagari around was going to help or damage Zero's perception of himself. He could see in Yagari's face though, that despite how he felt about vampires, Zero was safe with the master hunter.

Zero didn't quite understand what he saw in Yagari's gaze, but before he could try to say anything, the hunter just ruffled his hair again. "Well, I'm sure Kuran will excuse you from any more... sparring... so you'll be in shape for lessons," he gave Kaname another pointed look before shifting his gaze back to Zero. "We'll start tomorrow. I expect you to work hard and make this worth my time." The gruffness of the words was softened by the fond look that flittered across the weathered features.

Zero gave a silent, earnest nod, not really sure what to say at this point.

"I thank you for coming and for your services," Kaname said coolly but graciously. "I am sure that you are tired and hungry after your trip. I have refreshments waiting for you in the guest house. Those quarters shall be entirely at your disposal during your stay. If you should prefer to have lodging in town, that can be arranged, but the guest house is a fair distance from here, so you will not have to be too near to me and my household if that is disturbing to you." _And Zero and I can keep our privacy... _"Seiren will take you there now." He nodded towards the doorway, where Zero suddenly realized that Seiren had appeared, silent and unnoticed sometime during this whole exchange.

The silver-haired woman fixed a very displeased look on Yagari. She was silently furious and mortified that he had made it up here to disturb Kaname without being detected. Yagari _was_ considered the top hunter in the profession for a reason, of course, but she did not feel that absolved her.

She smiled with fake pleasantness and gestured for the hunter to follow her. Yagari seemed amused by her dislike, well aware that it was probably her security he had bypassed. He tipped his hat to her with an infuriating wink and turned to leave.

He paused in the doorway and turned back. "I'll see you tomorrow, Zero," he promised quietly, before he disappeared.

Kaname turned an inquiring look on Zero once they were alone again. "Are you angry with me, Zero?" he inquired mildly. It was hard to know how to please the ex-human sometimes. Zero was a complicated puzzle. He knew he was pleased that Yagari was here, but he seemed somewhat torn as well. "Would you rather I had not invited him?"

Zero ran his hand through his hair. _Invited? _It sounded more like _twisted his arm _but Zero couldn't be mad when Kaname was looking at him all innocent and open like that. He could tell that having another hunter hanging around was not Kaname's idea of fun, so the pureblood really was doing this for him. Zero ran a rueful hand through his hair.

"You don't invite people, Kaname. You remove all their other options so they'll come to you," he said a bit wearily, but without any true reproach.

Kaname cocked his head, considering Zero. He did not deny it. Nor did he see anything wrong with it. "And you disapprove? You disapprove of me making sure that he could get the time off without feeling torn or having to run off and attend to other duties all the time?"

Zero wasn't sure how to answer. "Yes... I mean no... I mean... damn it, Kaname, will you not do that? It sounds different when you put it that way." Kaname had this way of totally turning things around to make you see his point of view that frustrated the hell out of Zero.

"And what way should I put it?" Kaname inquired. He caught Zero's hand in his. "Zero... I just want you to be happy. If I'm not doing it right, if this isn't what you want, tell me what you _do_ want..." he whispered softly. "You know I would give it to you. The moon, the stars..." he drew Zero's hand up to his lips and kissed the warm palm softly. "You name it, and it's yours..."

Zero felt his frustration melt away to nothingness under the aching warmth that swelled in his chest at the way Kaname was looking at him. How could he not melt under the earnest intensity of those eyes, under the devoted care that the pureblood offered so freely? After all, what had Kaname done that was so terrible? He had given Zero back the future he thought he didn't have, in so many ways.

Zero squeezed the hand that was holding his lightly, pulling it over to his lips this time so he could brush them across Kaname's knuckles. "Thank you... for doing this for me," he murmured. "You're right. It is what I want, and I really appreciate it."

Kaname soaked up the tender affection in Zero's eyes, happily losing himself in their lovely depths.

Zero smiled a bit hesitantly. "And if you want to know what I really want right now..." he raised his eyebrows slightly, his gaze straying towards the bed almost shyly.

Kaname's grin widened deeply and the bedroom door clicked itself closed.


	27. When the World would Tear us Apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _A/N: As this chapter suggests... things get a little bumpy along the way. I wanted to show the different pressures that both Zero and Kaname would come under regarding their relationship from people who don't understand for various reasons... and of course it's driving things towards a climax / resolution point. Hopefully it's not too boring._

**Chapter Twenty-Seven: "When the World would Tear us Apart"**

Yagari regarded the blackened swath of grass at his feet with a sardonic, but patient expression. "Okay, I don't think it's your form that's the problem," he drawled as he crouched beside his prostrate and slightly singed pupil. He brushed a bit of ash from Zero's short silver hair. "That was quite impressive, are you okay?" His expression was dryly amused, but his keen gaze concealed concerned as he swept Zero's body quickly with a trained eye. He'd be a lot more alarmed if the boy wasn't still registering strongly in his hunter senses, which were specifically honed to detecting a vampire's state of health and level of threat.

"I think we're safe in assuming that's not going to be a good charm for you to use..." Yagari patted Zero's shoulder when the younger hunter nodded in response to his question. Yagari had seen students experience lots of spectacular mistakes or accidents while practicing charm work, but this was definitely the first time he'd seen a pupil spontaneously burst into flame.

His heart had dropped into his boots in alarm and he'd practically tackled Zero, yanking off his long leather duster and trying to smother the flames with it. Fortunately, the fire was swiftly snuffed, and it was obvious that although it had burned _around _Zero, it had not done him any significant damage save for singeing his shirt and the ends of his hair. Yagari undid Zero's collar to ease his quickened breathing.

Zero blinked until Yagari's silhouette against the starry sky stopped dancing around in his vision. He felt a little crispy, but it was just from the heat. The fire hadn't lasted long enough to burn through the protective containment field that had kept it from scorching the flesh off his bones as it was intended to do – only to vampires, not to the person casting the charm. When the two were one and the same however, that seemed to be a problem. Zero shook his head to clear it. He felt a bit embarrassed, but Yagari's casual attitude helped keep him from feeling _too_ stupid. After all, Yagari hadn't foreseen that result either.

"What, you don't think the living torch effect would make a good tactic?" he croaked, running a hand down his face and pushing up onto one elbow. He and Yagari had been training together for almost a month now, and Zero was able to be a little less reserved than he had been when they'd started, having lost some of the over-seriousness with which he'd worked to try to prove himself to Yagari at first. While he still felt the strong need to prove himself to his teacher, the daily contact and return to a relational dynamic that was familiar to both of them had reawaked some of the natural report that had once been between them.

Yagari grinned and ruffled Zero's hair. "Well, I suppose it would make a fair diversionary tactic," he drawled in amusement. "Or in case of an emergency... you know, like if I lose my lighter..."

Zero grinned and rolled his eyes. Yagari pulled his coat off the boy and tossed it over next to a nearby tree where his hat was also resting. He offered Zero a hand up Zero took it, wincing softly as he clambered back to his feet. "Maybe I just need to tweak it a bit..." he said slowly.

He didn't like it when issues like this came up – when the fact that he was a vampire was brought into glaringly obvious relief. Still, it was unavoidable and he and Yagari had already modified several charms in order to make them work more smoothly with the containment formulas that Zero and Aido had worked out back at Cross Academy. Zero could at least take pride in the fact that Yagari had been more than suitably impressed at that bit of work and with the fact that Zero could store and wield hunter charms at all. He hadn't expected that.

Yagari shook his head. His arm stayed about Zero's shoulders until he was sure the boy was steady on his feet. Then he stepped back. "No. Not this one. It's too volatile. You're lucky your containment charm held," he replied firmly, his voice a little more serious and concerned now. "It reacted merely to your presence, even through the protective measures. I don't want to risk it. There are plenty of others just as effective and less... combustible..." the hint of amusement that re-entered Yagari's voice kept Zero from feeling too badly.

It was an hour or two until dawn, making it early morning for Yagari, and evening for Zero, who had reluctantly begun keeping a vampire schedule in order to not be completely out of sync with the rest of the household all the time. However, it was not that unusual for hunters to keep late or early hours as well. They very often trained at night, considering that was the natural environment of their prey and they needed to be prepared.

Zero rubbed the sore spot on the back of his head where he'd struck when hit the ground. His unbuttoned shirt collar pulled open a bit wider at the motion, and Yagari's gaze caught unwillingly on what the collar had been hiding.

A fading, but visible set of twin marks that had obviously once been puncture wounds marred the young ex-human's pale skin on the un-tattooed side of his neck. _Bite marks._ No hunter worth his salt could mistake them for anything else. Yagari's jaw tensed, his lips thinning as he repressed the tense wave of anger in his gut. For a moment he looked like he would say something, then he just looked away. It burned him each and every time he saw some mark on Zero that he knew Kuran had given him. But it would do no good to say anything. He understood the way vampires operated. For whatever mysterious reason, Kuran had taken Zero under his protection and sponsorship. That meant Zero owed the damn leech his loyalty, his blood, and anything else Kuran demanded from him – apparently including being his punching bag, judging by the marks Yagari frequently saw on the boy's body. _So much for that 'we're pacifists, we only drink blood tablets' crap... _perhaps Kuran felt that mere _ex-humans_ didn't count.

Zero caught Yagari's gaze and felt an unpleasant stab in his gut. He quickly pulled his collar closed and buttoned it self-consciously as Yagari turned away from him. _Crap... _he hadn't wanted Yagari to see that. DamnKaname for getting all _friendly_ with him shortly before he was supposed to go out. Kaname should _know_ better than to mark him up on days when he was going to be training with Yagari, especially right before he left the house. The marks faded fairly swiftly, but not swiftly enough. He'd had a few choice words of muttered indignation for his partner when he caught sight of himself in the mirror afterwards.

Zero's chest constricted each time Yagari's gaze would stick and turn to acid upon indications of his vampire-hood – upon some trifling bruise or bite that was the embarrassing result of his and Kaname's passion, or their no-holds-barred sparring. Both of those activities Zero hid from Yagari. He had no wish for the older hunter to learn the true nature of his relationship with the pureblood, and although he told Yagari that he and Kaname sparred, he was careful to never do it somewhere where the hunter might see. He hadn't exactly shown Yagari his vines yet... and he got cold and clammy just thinking about it. To be fair, Kaname had been respectful of his wishes on both counts and maintained a completely neutral and indifferent mask around Zero when Yagari was present.

Zero was unaware of the completely wrong impression that this secrecy was having upon his teacher. Kaname was aware, but chose to let it play out. He didn't care if Yagari hated him, if that made it easier for Zero.

"Sensei..." Zero said quietly, but Yagari did not turn back towards him.

Knowing the brutal way Zero had been turned, and how hard it must be for him to endure being fed upon by another pureblood gave the elder hunter the incredibly overwhelming urge to stake something. Instead he turned back to where he'd left his satchel on the ground and rummaged through it.

"Enough charm work for today. You want to have a go with the blades next, or traps?" he said evenly, despite the hint of terseness that crept into his tone. Much as Yagari hated the situation, he'd seen enough bitter truth in his life to understand that despite the price he seemed to be paying for it, Zero _did_ need Kuran's sponsorship. With Shizuka's death still hanging over his head, the boy would go right back to the top of everybody's hit list in an instant should Kaname ever withdraw his protection.

"Oooh, should I be afraid?" a sarcastic voice drawled from nearby. Yagari's tense shoulders said he'd sensed another vampire's approach from a distance, but Zero had been too wrapped up in feeling awkward and his spine stiffened imperceptibly. His senses said _pureblood _but he knew it wasn't _his _pureblood. Unfortunately, he'd know that voice anywhere and an intense swell of irritation bubbled silently inside him.

"I thought you and your brother had important business with Kaname," Zero said in a blunt and decidedly unfriendly manner as he turned a cool gaze upon the pureblood lounging against the nearby tree. "Does Kaname know you're wandering about on his estate?"

Seiji Sato and his brother Diachi had arrived at about the same time as Zero was heading out to meet Yagari. He'd been surprised because he'd had no forewarning, but Kaname had swiftly and quietly explained that Diachi was there to see him on some minor business matter and assured him they would not be staying the night. Zero had been a little unsettled at being caught completely flat-footed like that, and surprised that Kaname had not told him ahead of time, but he shrugged it off and simply hoped they would be gone by the time he came back so their paths would not have to cross.

Such luck did not seem to be his, however.

Seiji shrugged, annoyed by Zero's rudeness and a little sardonically amused by it as well. "My _brother _has important business. I'm just here because he has the misguided notion that if he drags me all about with him on business matters I'll somehow acquire a burning desire to be as boring as he is. Does Kaname know _you_ two are playing with dangerous toys out here?" he shot back glibly. The hunter was something of a novelty item in Seiji's estimation, and he was bored. Giving Kaname's ex-human a hard time seemed like a more interesting way to pass time than sitting in on the dull science discourse in which his brother and Kuran were involved.

Yagari straightened up with a long, wicked looking instrument in his hand. He calmly pressed a release on the handle and round barbs popped out all along the shaft, glittering with silent menace. "We call these 'stingers', Yagari told Zero, as if Seiji were not standing right there. "They're used in melee fighting. The barbed balls can be launched by pressing the release and they'll automatically hone in on any nearby vampire targets. Burns holes right through them." The elder hunter was lecturing in a completely deadpan voice, although Zero was already familiar with the weapon and knew quite well that stingers had no 'smart' guidance system like that.

Yagari cast a cool gaze towards Seiji. "Ya might want to back up a bit. The range on this is a little tricky," he said blandly.

Zero couldn't help smirking as Seiji quickly withdrew several steps, eyeing both of them warily, but with an unhealthy interest.

Seiji saw the expression and his eyes darkened dangerously. An ex-human did _not _direct a look of contempt at him like that. He didn't care who he belonged to. Kaname should teach his slaves better. Really, he didn't understand why Kuran tolerated this boy at all. He must be one hell of a lay for Kuran to indulge him so unforgivably.

The pureblood flashed them both a sneer born of unease that he didn't want to show while in the presence of 'lesser beings'. He glanced warily towards the hunter weapons. "Maybe somebody ought to warn Kuran that he's raising a viper. I wonder how tolerant he'd be if he considered the possibility of you using one of your little toys against him next time he has you in his bed." Seiji was obviously threatening to plant such an idea in Kaname's mind. He naturally had no idea how ridiculous he sounded, given the true nature of the pureblood and the ex-human's relationship.

Zero was not a bit concerned over the stupid threat, but he felt cold dread and humiliation sweep through him for completely different reasons than Seiji had intended. He shot a quick sideways glance at the other hunter. _Please let Yagari think Seiji was just being an ass... _

Beside him, Yagari stiffened slightly and glared darkly at the pureblood. "I don't particularly like your tone, your implications, or come to think of it – your _presence_, vampire. I think you'd better leave," he drawled coldly with a hint of protective anger.

Seiji was delighted to read the unexpected reaction he read clearly in both his companions. This was so much better than he'd anticipated. He hadn't imagined that the elder hunter might actually be ignorant of how things stood... or that it would obviously distress Zero for him to learn the truth.

"_Implications? _What, you mean you didn't _know_?" he crowed in cruel enjoyment. "Tut-tut, you shouldn't be so modest, Kiriyu. Don't you know what an honor it is as an ex-human to serve a pureblood with your body? I should think you would _brag_ about being Kuran's favorite bed toy. He says you're _such _a good ride..." Seiji's dark gaze sparkled with malevolence. Of course the last was a bald-faced lie, Kaname would have never have discussed such a thing with him and Zero knew it. That didn't change the damage that had been done, however.

"Shut up!" Zero snapped hotly, fists clenching at his sides. He had to restrain the very real urge to attack the smirking pureblood. "You don't know what the hell you're talking about!"

Seiji shrugged, still smiling cruelly as he enjoyed Zero's dismay and discomfort. "Oh my. I do seem to have stepped in it, haven't I? I had no idea you wanted to keep it a secret. Well I suppose I'd better go then. I can see when I'm not wanted..." he said carelessly before wandering away across the darkened lawn, pleased with the path of emotional chaos he left in his wake.

Zero could not bring himself to turn and look at Yagari as Seiji left them. He was breathing too quickly, almost hyperventilating. He didn't want to see what he feared he would see in Yagari's eyes. He didn't want to have to believe that this had really happened. _Damn it all to hell... _he wanted to kill that smug pureblood son of a bitch so badly.

Yagari, however, was watching Zero's tense profile with a silent, intense gaze behind which a slow fire was springing to life. "Zero... what he said, is it true?" he asked, his gruff voice unnaturally quiet. It shouldn't have been a shock to him, perhaps. He knew how ex-humans were often used by their masters. But perhaps because he knew how deeply interested Kaname had been in Yuki, who was definitely female, and perhaps because this was _Zero_ and not some random stranger who was nothing but a statistic... he simply hadn't thought that direction until now. "Does Kuran... do those kind of things to you?"

Zero swallowed hard, trying to figure out what to say, but nothing came. His mouth felt dry and his head was throbbing and spinning, making it hard to think. Yagari didn't need an answer to his question, Zero's miserable body language and inability to meet his gaze when he turned back towards him was answer enough.

Sheer, unadulterated rage flooded through the elder man's body. Red filled his mind and his heart with painful, aching bitterness. _He should have known. _The voices in his mind condemned him bitterly. He should have known from the beginning. He should have realized what was being done to Zero every time he let him walk back into that house unprotected, every time he left him alone in that... that _beast's _clutches.

Yagari dropped the weapon he had been holding back into his bag in favor of pulling the sawed-off shotgun from the long holster strapped to his thigh.

"I'm gonna kill him," he muttered softly as he clicked open the chamber of the shotgun, checking the loaded round before snapping the weapon shut again.

Zero had never heard this kind of lethal quietness in his master's voice before and it made his already churning stomach knot up in apprehension. Yagari couldn't be serious... he was the best hunter out there, but surely he wouldn't be stupid enough to take on a pureblood in his own home, especially without orders and with two other purebloods currently on the premises? Be that as it may, however, the steely determination that showed in Yagari's single eye and the forceful calm of his movements were making Zero afraid. If Yagari was serious, it was tantamount to suicide. The ex-human was more than aware of just how lethal Kaname was capable of being, especially if provoked or caught by surprise. Yet at the same time... the pureblood was accustomed to the older hunter's presence coming and going in the house. He wouldn't be expecting Yagari to attack him and the hunter could very possibly get in the first move before Kaname realized that his intentions were hostile. A hunter of Yagari's skill would know that the first move had to be the last move or he didn't have a chance.

Yagari would very probably be throwing his life away on a meaningless attempt to protect Zero and Kaname was dangerously vulnerable because he'd opened his house to hunters for Zero's sake. Zero felt his gut twist sickeningly at the hideous irony. He wasn't sure if he was more afraid for his teacher or his lover.

Perhaps Yagari would have come to his senses before actually going after Kaname. He was no fool and he'd been in the business for a long time. He knew too how important Kuran was to keeping the peace between humans and vampires. But... just at this precise moment, he didn't care. He was too damn angry, with Kuran and with himself. He'd suspected for some time that Kaname was responsible for halting Zero's decent to becoming a Level E. Since coming here, he'd begun to more than suspect that, as unbelievable a notion as it was, the pureblood was letting Kiriyu drink his blood. It was really the only thing that could explain the change he felt in Zero, why the boy had started brightening to a much hotter flame in his hunter senses than was normal for an ex-human.

But Yagari hadn't known _why_. Certainly it was _not_ simply from the goodness of his heart. Vampires never did anything unless it benefited them. Sure, Yagari had guessed the pureblood must have designs on Zero, but he had yet to be able to work out exactly what they were. He had suspected they had something to do with Kuran fancying the options that having a hunter under his thumb would provide, especially considering the way Yagari had been brought here to continue Zero's training. That could still very well be the case, but now, he knew that wasn't all. Heaven help him, he'd been so blind. It all made terrible sense. The bruises... the ill-hidden bite marks... they'd been bad enough on their own, when he thought that Kuran was just feeding on and mistreating Zero. Now, they seemed even more sinister and heartbreaking. The thought that Kuran had been forcing Zero like this, bedding him and making Zero subject himself to the pureblood's whims in exchange for his life burned like acid in the elder hunter's veins.

It didn't matter that Yagari knew upper caste vampires routinely preyed on their weaker kindred for both blood and sex. It didn't matter that Zero was a vampire now, and subject to the rules of their twisted society... Yagari could still look at him and see the little boy who had followed him everywhere. The little boy with innocent eyes who did not deserved to have life turn out like this. Who did not deserve to have some son of a bitch vampire lordling use and abuse him as if his heart, soul and feelings didn't matter. Yagari should have figured it out sooner. He should have stopped this. _Somehow_.

"That filthy pureblood bastard, I'm gonna kill him..." Yagari repeated with quiet rage in his voice as he tipped the shotgun barrel back to rest to his shoulder and started up the hill in the direction of the main house.

Suddenly Zero was blocking his path. "No! Master, don't..."

Yagari tried to push past him but Zero wouldn't budge, catching the older hunter's shoulders to stop him. Panic swelled through his gut. Yagari was taking this all wrong! If he went after Kaname, someone was going to end up hurt or dead, and Zero desperately didn't want that.

Yagari's eyes darkened with anger and pain. He knew... he knew with his head that Zero was a vampire, but it was too easy to forget sometimes, and it cut him to his core to see the boy mindlessly defending Kuran just like any other blood sucking freak would have done, despite what the pureblood was doing to him.

"Get out of my way, boy," Yagari warned through his teeth, the shotgun coming down off his shoulder. "I know you haven't got a choice, but damn it, he doesn't deserve your protection! Don't expect me to stand by and watch him use you like this!"

He started to violently shake Zero off, but the ex-human moved with vampire speed, catching hold of the shotgun as it came down and twisting it sideways.

Yagari cursed, instincts and reflexes from a lifetime of fighting vampires snapping to the fore. He hoped he'd never have to face Zero like this, but he'd always known it might one day happen. He countered Zero's move with almost inhuman speed himself, unable to bring the gun to bear, but keeping it from being completely twisted from his grasp.

Zero felt ill as he grappled urgently with the elder hunter. In a way, it touched him deeply that Yagari was so ready to defend him – even to the point of foolishness, but he had to stop this.

"No! You don't understand! It-it's not like that! He's not using me!" Zero protested. Yagari had aimed a fast, probably charm laden jab at the tattoo side of his neck, but Zero was smart enough not to let him make contact. He dodged and half-turned, but didn't let go of Yagari or the weapon clutched between them. He wasn't going to strike back at his master, but he wasn't going to let him nail him with anything either. He needed to make him listen before things spun too far out of control.

_"Don't!"_ Yagari fairly growled through his teeth. He was seething, but whether Zero could tell it or not, there was pain beneath the anger, a lot of pain. "Don't give me any vampire bullshit about the joys of serving purebloods. _Not_ from you, Zero... I won't hear that from _you_!" Yagari's voice almost trembled as he suddenly released the weapon they were fighting over and spun, giving a sharp drop-kick to Zero's legs. _"Recedo!" _he snapped, thrusting his hand forward even as he kicked out, aiming the anti-vampire charm squarely at his pupil's chest.

But Zero had not spent the past months sparring regularly with Kaname and training with Yagari just to be taken down so easily. The ex-human was off balance for only a moment before he regained himself. Yagari's kick caught only air as Zero jumped, executing a gravity-defying summersault that twisted him out of the way of the blasting charm and sent him sailing over the other hunter's head to land behind Yagari. He'd made it a point to never use his vampire speed or abilities when he was training or sparring with Yagari, hating to remind his master of what he was, but he did so now because it was the only advantage he had over the older, more experienced hunter.

Yagari spun to face him even as Zero landed. He'd fought vampires his whole life and the reflexes were fluid and automatic. He flicked his arms and a short, slender, double-edged throwing knife appeared in each hand. Zero was well aware of the hidden arsenal his Sensei had up his sleeves and elsewhere on his body, but the unpleasant surprise of having those weapons drawn on him nearly tripped him up. Zero barely managed to dodge in time as one of the small, wickedly sharp and heavily poised blades whizzed past his shoulder, clipping his sleeve but fortunately not his flesh.

Yagari was not actually trying to hurt him, at least, not seriously or more than he had to in order to subdue him. The elder hunter was clearly aiming for non-vital targets, merely trying to break Zero's skin with one of the weapons. Those throwing knives were heavily charmed and laced with anti-vampire drugs. Even a grazing glance from one of those and Zero would lose all vampire ability as swiftly and surely than if he'd been shot point-blank with the Bloody Rose.

Zero's dodge took him directly into the path of the second knife, as Yagari had intended. Reflex took over before Zero's conscious mind had a say in the matter. Vines sprang out protectively in front of him, striking the flying blade harmlessly to the ground and snapping out to catch Yagari's wrist before he could go for another.

Yagari made a mistake that would have been fatal if he had been in a serious fight. He actually froze for a moment in shock. It was an unbelievable blunder for one of his experience, but what he'd just seen happen... seeing those vines snake out of Zero's body... it had shaken him. He'd had no idea the ex-human had developed powers like these.

Zero's heart sank to his toes as he realized belatedly what he had done. He'd never let Yagari see this part of him for a reason. That reason was reflected in the shocked, wary look in his teacher's eye. He'd just proved himself even more of a creatureto the other hunter. Well _hell... _this really couldn't get any worse now, could it?

Zero released Yagari quickly, retracting the vines. His chest felt like one solid knot of agony, everything was going so wrong. Yagari now saw him as a monster, _and_ he obviously thought he was Kaname's thrall. That hurt so damn bad.

"It's not like that. I'm not bound or under his influence!" Zero half shouted, half rasped, fixing Yagari with a pained look. "I still have my own will and my own thoughts, so don't treat me like a puppet, damn it! I'm not trying to protect him, I'm trying to protect _you! _Kaname would wipe the floor with your butt!" It wasn't true that Zero wasn't at all worried about Kaname... because he was... but he needed Yagari to cool it and listen to him.

Yagari was glaring at Zero with open wariness and mistrust, but he hadn't yet pressed his attack again and Zero took a chance. He tossed Yagari's gun, which he was still holding, back to the other hunter. "I just wanted you to listen..." Zero's voice was roughened from his quickened breathing and his anguish, but it was quieter now than it had been a minute ago. He was visibly standing down and lowering his guard. It was a dangerous move and left him vulnerable if Yagari chose to attack, but it was a chance he had to take.

Yagari caught the rifle and continued to stare intently at Zero.

Slowly, keeping his body language as non-threatening as possible, Zero bent and picked up the throwing knife that had fallen by his feet and turned it handle-forward, offering it back to his teacher as well.

Yagari made no move to take it and Zero finally slid it into a slot on his own belt to avoid the awkwardness of continuing to stand there and hold it. Finally, Yagari's seemed to make a decision. He let the gun in his hand slowly fall to rest at his side, although his body was still tense as he regarded his pupil with well-entrenched caution. "All right. I'm listening. Explain to me how Kuran screwing you against your will does not constitute him using you?" he said coolly, concern still edging his troubled gaze.

Zero flushed painfully, his face prickling with heat and mortification. Crap... there was no way out of this, was there? _No... no... he couldn't say it, he couldn't... _Yagari's respect meant so much to him. He was the only tie Zero still had to his past, to everything he had lost, to who he had once been. But Zero had to give a truthful answer now, no matter how much he knew it would cost, because it was only the thing left he could do. He felt nauseous. Maybe it would have almost been better to let Yagari think he _had_ been bound.

"B-because it isn't against my will..." he mumbled with difficulty. His cheeks were so hot they hurt and he could feel his pulse pounding in his ears. He was humiliated and... frightened.

Yagari just blinked at him, uncomprehending for a moment. Then shock and disgust replaced confusion. "What?" he barked in harsh disbelief. "Are you seriously telling me that you _want _this? That you're _okay_ with being some pureblood's bitch?"

If Zero had thought he couldn't flush any deeper or feel any more miserable, he'd been wrong. He wished the earth would swallow him. He wished he could just shrivel up and die. "That's _not_ how it is! I'm _NOT _his-" he started to protest, but Yagari cut him off. The elder hunter was incensed.

"Don't tell me that's not how it is! You're smarter than this, Zero! That man is screwing with your head and using you! Haven't you learned a single thing I have tried to teach you about vampires?" Yagari didn't understand how Zero could do this, could act like he actually trusted one of _them. _

"No, he's not!" Zero's chest burned and his eyes stung but _damn _it, he was certainly not going to cry at a time like this. He couldn't believe he was standing here, trying to defend Kaname to Yagari. It was a scene he had never imagined and yet... he could do nothing else. It hurt to hear the harsh, hateful words directed at his lover, and it hurt to be made to feel like a whore all over again, after he'd finally put that thought behind him. What made it really cut his heart to shreds though, was to hear it coming from Yagari, who was the closest thing Zero had left to any kind of family, and whose regard meant so much to the younger hunter.

"I'll admit this wasn't something I ever would have thought I wanted, but Kaname hasn't forced or coerced me to do anything. He isn't like that, he really isn't! He cares about me and I care about him. He-he's not a bad person..." Zero defended miserably, even though he already knew he was fighting a battle he couldn't win.

"Like hell he's not. He's a _pureblood, _Zero, they're worse than all the rest put together. You better than anyone should know that! _He's not a bad person?_ Where have I heard that before?" Yagari shook his head in disbelief. He tapped the leather patch covering the ruined side of his face and gouged out eye with two fingers. "It's like we're _here _all over again, Zero. Did you learn nothing back then? He cares about nothing but himself. There _is _no such thing as a good vampire..." he murmured in an almost anguished tone, forgetting for half a moment to whom he spoke.

Zero hadn't forgotten though. He swallowed hard, almost unable to breathe around the sharp pain lancing through his chest. "Then why the hell do you care whether he's using me or not?" he rasped softly. "Why do you care what happens to one more blood sucking freak?"

Yagari's jaw stiffened as he winced inwardly. He... hadn't meant that statement to include Zero. Not... really... But Yagari didn't know what to say. His hatred and mistrust of vampires was too deeply engrained and right now, he was hurting too much, seeing what had happened to Zero. What he had become. It wasn't fair... it wasn't fair that life should have done this to him. Yagari should have been able to protect him somehow... but he hadn't. He hadn't been there to protect Zero and his family from Shizuka, and he now he hadn't been able to protect him from Kaname either. He'd failed the boy too many times to forgive. Yagari hated Kuran with an icy cold hatred for manipulating the young hunter this way, for somehow managing to prey not only on Zero's body but on his emotions as well. If Zero wanted to stand there though and insist that this was his choice and he was with Kaname of his own free will, then it wasn't Yagari's place to interfere, no matter how much it broke his heart.

Yagari silently holstered his weapon with a small, tense motion, bending to retrieve his hat and duster from where he had left them earlier. He shrugged into the duster and tugged the hat down over his curly hair, snatching up his satchel and slinging it over one shoulder before turning back to Zero. "You're a big boy now, Zero," he said quietly. "I'm not going to throw myself in front of another vampire for you if you refuse to see the world as it really is. If this is your choice, it's yours to make." There was cool disgust in his tone, Yagari made no attempt to hide that. It wasn't all directed at Zero, but some of it was. A pureblood... and another _man _at that? He really couldn't understand how Zero could be so stupid. It pained and burned him to see the boy doing this to himself... putting himself in a position where he would eventually end up horribly hurt. Zero deserved better, but there was nothing the elder man could do.

Without another word, Yagari turned and walked away.

Zero did not follow, he didn't speak. There was nothing to say. He felt like a door had just slammed closed between them forever. Yagari probably would not want to teach him anymore, and even if he had felt compelled to do so for some reason, Zero didn't know how he could stand seeing that disgust and anger in his master's gaze every time he looked at him. No... he knew, he'd just lost any and all respect that Yagari had ever had for him, and there would never be any way to get it back.

His vision blurring treacherously, Zero turned and walked away down the hill quickly, trying to remember how to breathe - his chest hurt so bad it was hard. The walk turned into a jog and the jog quickened until Zero was running, heedless of where he was going except for away.

\--------------------------------------

"What we're looking at is definitely a retrovirus. But the way it affects the reverse transcriptase enzyme has some unique characteristics," the young vampire scientist whom Diachi had brought with him wrapped up her presentation. "It is not unlike the retrovirus that we believe is transmitted by a pureblood's bite and has a hand in converting human DNA into vampire DNA, although the results are quite of a different nature." At this, she looked somewhat hesitantly towards her leader. It was not very long ago that even considering the possibility that science had any methods of documenting or explaining any of the power that pureblood vampires held was considered sacrilege worthy of death. Times were changing, but only very slowly. Obviously, Diachi had already approved this line of thought with her, or she would never have mentioned it, but she still didn't look comfortable bringing it up in the presence of _two _purebloods.

Diachi gave her a small nod to let her know she could continue, and she did. "It's an interesting conundrum, because the very structure of this virus suggests that it would be most virulent towards vampire physiology... but underneath that shell framework, a second set of processes make it deadly against human physiology as well."

Diachi turned back to Kaname. He folded his hands on his lap. "And that is the extent of the research that we have been able to do in reverse engineering the viral agent that you are so interested in," he concluded, watching Kaname carefully and obviously waiting to see how he was going to react.

Kaname absorbed the information he had been given and returned Diachi's gaze with equal caution. "I appreciate your going to all this effort... but I am curious why exactly you think this particular information is of interest to me?" The truth was of course that he was_ quite_ interested, but he was a little unsettled that Diachi knew as much.

Diachi glanced towards the scientist. "You may go, Lin," he dismissed her, indicating that he wanted to speak privately with his host. Lin immediately withdrew, leaving the two purebloods alone in Kaname's study.

"Because it's the virus that killed the Cross girl," Diachi said quietly once they were by themselves. "Give me a little credit, Kaname. All the information you have asked for... all the research and patent application records you've requested for obscure chemical compounds and processes... if you string them together, they start to paint a very telling picture. I understand that seeking answers is important to you. I merely thought it would be more beneficial to that endeavor if we put aside the subterfuge and spoke plainly."

Kaname considered Diachi in silence for a long moment. He had known this day must eventually come. Diachi's connections in the fields of medical research and development were too large an asset for him to pass up, and Diachi seemed quite willing to foster friendly relations between them. It would perhaps be just as well to have his cards on the table about what he was trying to do, yet he still didn't like having someone else intrude into the privacy of his quest for the answers to Yuki's death. He hadn't even brought Zero into his confidence on that yet, and to have Diachi insinuate himself there was at first disturbing. However, the elder pureblood was nothing if not savvy, and the intensely detailed research he had brought with him was a gift more than suitable to make up for Kaname's discomfiture. The knowledge alone that this was some kind of virus that appeared to have been targeted at vampires and _modified _to work on a human was a new and valuable bit of information.

Kaname rubbed his neck distractedly. There was an echo of unhappy emotion coming through his bond with Zero that was making it difficult to concentrate and feeding his own unease until he wasn't sure how much of what he was feeling was his own reaction to the current situation and how much was completely unrelated. Kaname knew Zero was with Yagari and could be in no danger, whatever it was that had upset him, so he forced himself to tamp their connection down on his end in order to be clear headed enough to navigate the path ahead.

He felt guilty enough that he'd still told Zero nothing of what he was doing in regards to finding Yuki's killer. He should have, he knew that. He'd meant to tell him earlier, since he'd known that Diachi was coming with information for him, even if he'd not realized to what extent that information would prove to be. He'd gone to Zero's room while the hunter was getting ready to go out and meet Yagari with every intention of telling him... but the pureblood had lost his nerve, unable to broach the painful subject, and had let himself get distracted in savoring Zero's nearness and deliciousness instead. _Tonight. He would tell him tonight when he came back. _

Kaname reached for a crystal decanter that sat on a small table at his elbow and poured a glass of the Hennessy Ellipse cognac for Diachi before taking one for himself. To their vampire metabolisms, the actual alcohol in the beverage was not much to be reckoned with, but the flavor was superb and since this particular type of cognac usually retailed in the neighborhood of $10,000 a bottle, it was a natural choice to serve to an important guest. And however he may feel about it, Diachi was indeed proving to be quite an important guest.

Diachi Sato was a good 800 years older than he, and a clever and ruthless businessman in his own right, but he also had a reputation for fair dealing, at least in vampire terms. Kaname may loathe the youngest member of the Sato family with a passion, but Diachi he could respect. Not that he trusted him, but then, that meant little. Purebloods rarely completely trusted one another unless they were bound by marriage or blood, and that was usually for the best.

"Then let us speak plainly..." Kaname said with a small nod, indicating that he was willing to accept a slightly deeper level of working relationship between them.

\--------------------------------------

Zero tipped his head back, gazing up at the slowly fading stars as his breath caught raggedly between his teeth. He'd stopped running somewhere in the wooded area south of the villa and was trying to regain some measure of peace.

A haughty, grating chuckle from nearby shattered whatever he'd managed to find in that regard. He spun to find Seiji lounging on a thick, low hanging tree branch with his back against the trunk, one knee bent and one leg dangling. The infuriating pureblood was watching him with deep amusement.

"What's so damn funny?" Zero snarled, completely fed up with Seiji and already wondering how hard it would be to yank him out of the tree and forcibly wipe that grin off his face.

"You," Seiji said with mocking amusement. "I heard what you told the hunter. It was so... so _sweet..._" he said in condescending tones. "Do you really think Kuran cares about you? That's so precious! If... _naïve_..." He'd observed the fallout of his handiwork from a safe distance, and followed Zero after he took off. Seiji had the cruel disposition of one who enjoyed pulling the wings off of flies just to watch them stumble around in agony. He applied that malicious nature now.

The pureblood pushed off the branch and dropped lightly to the ground with the preternatural grace of his kind. "The hunter may be a pathetic human, but he's smarter than you are. Of _course _Kaname's using you. Please don't tell me that you think he does any of the things he does solely for your own benefit? I gave you more credit than that. The hunter training for instance, have you any idea how much it would benefit him to have a loyal hunter assassin under his control? No? You didn't even think about it?" Seiji grinned mockingly as he circled Zero slowly, like a tiger sizing up its prey. "My, you _are _slow, aren't you? Slaves should understand their place and their uses. Mine do."

Zero was already emotionally reeling at the moment. Seiji's taunting was the last thing he needed. To be honest... Zero never _had _considered that it might actually be beneficial to Kaname to have him hunter trained. He'd been under the impression that Kaname was doing this just for his sake. Zero wasn't about to let anything Seiji said shake him, just on principle if nothing else, but he couldn't pretend that that jab didn't hurt pretty deep, delivered upon his already torn up feelings.

"I'm not his slave," Zero shot back icily, trying admirably to hold back his desperately seething rage. "And you still don't know what the hell you're talking about! In case you're completely uninformed – Kaname's not the one who turned me, and in case you're too stupid to figure it out – he's never bound me. He trusts me. How many of _your _ex-humans do you think would stay with you if they actually had a choice?"

Seiji's face clouded darkly, both at being spoken to that way, and because Zero had actually scored a hit on his pride with that last remark. The thought that Kaname didn't even need to bind someone, or have the influence of having turned them in order to command such loyalty from them was sickening.

Seiji aimed a stinging slap at the ex-human, but Zero dodged swiftly, his hand dropping to the hilt of the hunter knife he still had on his belt in case this turned into something more... _god... _right now he _wanted _it to turn into something more. He _wanted _an excuse to gut the bastard. But Seiji simply stood there, seeming completely shocked and startled that Zero had moved.

Zero shot him a sardonic look from a few feet away. _Sorry, I feel no obligation to stand around and let some slob hit me just because of their frickin' bloodline. _

Seiji's face was murderous. If Zero was _anyone _else's thrall but Kuran's... he would have shredded him. "You think Kuran trusts you so much? You know nothing of purebloods! He only tells you want it is convenient for you to know. I'll bet he's not even told you anything about the new information regarding the death of that little human girl, even though you both knew her, didn't you?" he spat. Seiji knew his brother's business here, and that Diachi had said it was to be kept confidential because Kuran was obviously reticent to share this information. So Seiji took a chance that he hadn't shared it with Zero either. He was throwing aimless darts because he was angry, but it unfortunately struck home in this case, and he could see that clearly on the hunter's face.

For half a second, Zero was stunned by Seiji's unexpected words, then his eyes took on a deadly hue and he took a step closer. He wished he had his gun with him, but he'd not brought it to practice. "What - what about Yuki?" he growled, repressing the intense stab of pain in his chest that thinking of her caused and wondering what the hell Seiji was talking about and what he could possibly know about her.

\--------------------------------------

"I must compliment you, Kaname. It is an abysmal shame what Ichijo did to your business concerns and how many of them he amalgamated into his own spheres of control while he was custodian of your estate. Your aplomb in pulling the pieces back together and charting a new course with them as swiftly as you have is to be commended," Diachi complimented his host, cupping his glass of cognac with sculpted fingers. It was his second glass and he was obviously enjoying the bouquet of the liquor. Immediate business matters had already been discussed and they were now merely wrapping up with polite chit-chat.

Kaname inclined his head slightly at the compliment, which he knew was partially sincere and partially expected flattery on the part of a guest. "Matters have a way of working themselves out when placed in the right hands."

"True," Diachi sipped his glass, his dark eyes thoughtful. "But I must admit I did not approve of the Senior Council's decisions on your behalf after your bereavement."

Kaname found that a lot of people were suddenly 'on his side' now that he had regained his rightful position and was reconsolidating power. But he sensed at least a hint of truth in his guest's words, and the ice that might otherwise have crept into his eyes remained absent. Although many purebloods sided with the Senior Council, many others did not approve of the power that that body held over them as a whole, but neither did they wish to create too much of an upset without suitably extreme provocation.

"In truth though, I'm surprised you did not seize the Ichijo estate when they offered it to you. You've allowed young Takuma Ichijo to retain a fair amount of what should rightfully be yours," Diachi continued, with just the vaguest hint of disapproval.

Kaname now understood the purpose of this vein of conversation. His business ally was feeling him out, seeking to understand him and his motivations better and instinctively looking for weakness of character. Too much unremunerated kindness was considered such a weakness. The Council had initially offered him all of Ichijo holdings as a desperate attempt to get on his good side and back into the good graces of public opinion after the Ichijo and Rido debacle. Kaname was well aware that his refusal was still a topic of speculation and curiosity among many of his peers.

Kaname waved the glass in his hand dismissively. "Only those interests which could not suitably be divided without damaging their overall value. The fact is, that the Council has no right to disseminate the property of others as it sees fit, even if it has done and continues to do so. I would rather not encourage it in such pursuits. Especially since I have found when it comes to gifts one must consider their source, and any possible associated costs. I deem it imprudent to give the Senior Council any cause to think I me indebted to them." Kaname's smile was cool and self-possessing. He saw a glitter of understanding light in Diachi's eyes.

"True again, and it does not hurt that young Ichijo is in your pocket either, so I suppose in reality you have it anyway," Diachi looked amused and approving now as if relieved by the notion that Kaname's actions were not so insensibly philanthropic as they appeared. "I begin to see that you claim the best of both worlds while avoiding the downfalls. You are cleverer than I gave you credit for, you must forgive me."

Kaname once again merely inclined his head, not showing that he was displeased at the notion that Takuma was his puppet. "It is often good to be underestimated," he said with a dissembling smile. "However, I should not like the notion that Ichijo and I are too directly connected spread around. No need to stir up his syndeo's old vanguard and make things... difficult. You understand," he added meaningfully, his tone suggesting that he was sharing an inside confidence with his guest.

Diachi had no reason to interfere in his business in these matters, and if he thought Kaname was merely trying to not outwardly appear to control the Ichijo syndeo in order to further his own ends, then he would probably keep quiet on the matter – which was the end result that Kaname wanted. The young pureblood did not want to make Takuma's life more difficult than it already was by having everyone view him as merely a pawn. That was not remotely fair to his friend.

"Of course, of course," Diachi agreed amiably, sipping again at his Cognac. He was smart enough to know that he was not being presented with a completely true picture, but that was to be expected.

"I like you, Kaname. You are capable and quick minded. You will go far in this world," Diachi said as he set his empty glass back on the table. He was being truly candid now and speaking without significant ulterior motive. The centuries of seniority he had on the younger vampire made him feel free to speak so. "I wish that my brother were half as motivated as you are," he added with a small, fondly rueful smile.

"With that in mind, I hope that you will not take offense if I offer you one small piece of caution?" he inquired, polite enough to give Kaname the option of hearing him out or refusing.

Kaname raised his eyebrow, curious at this turn in the conversation. He could have taken offense at Diachi's words, but he was astute enough to know that the other pureblood was being fairly straight with him. He gave a slight smile and a permissive gesture, indicating for the other to continue. "Only a fool refuses advice unheard."

Diachi gave a gracious nod. "You are certainly no fool, Kaname. So I hope you will believe me when I say I do not wish to offer offense, but sincere advice with my warning: be careful of putting too much trust in your protégé. If you are not careful, he will abuse your generosity."

This was an entirely unexpected turn in the conversation and Kaname felt a flash of protective anger burn briefly in his chest at Diachi suggesting that Zero was in any way untrustworthy. "I would not worry too much on that account," Kaname said coolly with obvious dismissal. He realized a moment later that the reaction was a bit too knee-jerk, and the other pureblood would surely see that he had touched some kind of nerve. _Well, crap... _

Diachi was watching him carefully, although surprisingly his expression contained an actual hint of concern. "Ah, but I do..." he said quietly. "Forgive me for my frankness, but in all your dealings it is clear that you are a charitable soul and I do not wish to see others take advantage of that. I am certain you know what you are doing, but you are very young to have taken a protégé. I did not take my first one until I was at least four times your age... and still, I made the mistake of trusting too deeply. The relationship between teacher and student can become quite close and matters can become... complicated."

Kaname had enough control of himself not to let the flush of uncomfortable heat that twisted his stomach rise to his skin. _Diachi knew._ The other pureblood was being respectfully delicate, but he obviously knew that Kaname was sleeping with Zero as well as teaching him. Kaname felt the overwhelming urge to rearrange Seiji's face, because doubtless it was he who had let his brother in on that little factoid. Fortunately, of course, Diachi had no idea what it actually meant. It was not uncommon for teachers to expect sexual favors from their students as a gesture of respect, much like they could expect them to offer their blood for the same reasons.

"My brother seems able to completely divorce pleasure and emotion," Diachi continued. It was a polite way of saying his younger brother slept with just about anything that had legs. His tone suggested that he didn't entirely approve. "But for the rest of us, there is sometimes a natural closeness that comes when you are as invested in someone as you become with a protégé. I know, I have trained three. They reflect upon you and it is natural to want them to succeed and meet with favor... but there is danger too. I learned this the hard way and I would not see the same happen to you. Those you let closest to you are those who are most able to harm you. The boy is a _hunter_, Kaname, and I fear he is using you and your admirable pacifism more than you perceive."

Kaname felt his blood boiling he just managed to keep his hand from shaking with rage as he poured himself another glass of Cognac. He kept a tight rein on his aura so Diachi would not know how he felt, but inside he was seething. Zero was _not _using him! That was absolutely ridiculous. Diachi had no idea what he was talking about. That same fact helped keep his temper in check, however. Diachi _didn't _know what he was talking about, and he honestly thought he was trying to do the younger pureblood a good turn, perhaps misguidedly trying to treat him like the kind of younger brother he wished Seiji would have turned out to be. Kaname kept his head with effort.

"Really? You think I would be so foolish as to let him do such a thing?" Kaname said coolly. Despite his control, it was obvious that he was not pleased with this turn in the conversation and did not appreciate his guests' opinions on his private affairs.

Diachi understood that, he had perhaps overstepped the bounds of politeness, but he too was a pureblood and used to doing as he pleased. He felt that he had to say something, and that Kaname would appreciate his advice with time and a little more maturity.

"No, I do not say it is an oversight of foolishness, merely one of youth and a generous nature," he returned calmly. "Think of it, Kaname, is there any advantage you have not given him? Surely you are aware of the power that his connection to you gives him. Especially as an ex-human, your favor has put him into a stratosphere he could never have dreamed of achieving on his own. You have opened doors for him both in our world and that of the hunters that would otherwise have been shut. I am certain he must have an extraordinary amount of potential for you to expend so much effort on him, but that is all the more reason to be careful.

"I have seen his kind before. I fear he will take what he can get out of you, until his end is achieved and then he will be gone. His loyalty will last only as long as his need for you lasts. Do not forget the heavy grudge he has cause to bear our kind," Diachi's voice dropped, his true concern showing through. "He has already killed one pureblood, as you well know. I do not pretend to suppose that this is not in fact one of the reasons you keep him. He must be fairly unique to have managed such a thing at his age and level of experience, but be careful, lest being stabbed in the back becomes more than just a figure of speech."

Kaname took a deep draught of the alcohol in his glass, not bothering to taste it but focusing on the burn of it as he fought to keep from either lashing out or laughing at Diachi. Of course, it was Kaname and not Zero who had killed Shizuka, but no one knew that. Diachi was actually correct about Zero's growing potential, but the idea of his lover doing him physical harm was ridiculous to Kaname. He and Zero were past that.

Zero would always need him. Even if Kaname suspected the hunter's feelings were not quite the same as his, he could be assured at least that Zero would always need his blood, right? However, the question that Diachi raised bothered him for reasons entirely different than that which the other pureblood had intended. Kaname did not fear that Zero would betray him. But what if somehow, someday he actually didn't need Kaname's blood anymore? If Zero were truly free... would he leave? Zero was so independent... would he want to make his own way in the world? Would his friendship for Kaname ever pale to mere friendship only and other interests enter his life? Kaname didn't like to think so, but the fear hurt more than he wanted to admit.

"I appreciate your concern. I am bound to tell you that I believe it is unfounded, but I accept that it is sincerely offered," Kaname said with finality, indicating with firm graciousness that he would not discuss this subject further.

Diachi had not expected much more, so he merely nodded. Finishing his drink, he rose. "Well then, I will not impose upon your hospitality any longer. It will be dawn soon, and I should be going. Let me find my errant brother and we will take our leave. I am glad we have come to so amenable an understanding to us both in our separate concerns."

Kaname rose and nodded politely, glad to see the other vampire leaving. "As am I."

\--------------------------------------

"So, he _didn't_ tell you then..." Seiji grinned maliciously. "He's _only_ been working with my brother and I to find out who killed her since he came to our party _months _ago. We've _only _provided him with all kinds of new information regarding what happened. That's _only _the reason why we even came out here today... but I can see why he didn't think it was important enough to mention. Even though he _trusts _you so much and all." Seiji exaggerated the situation shamelessly. He had very little idea of what he was talking about besides what Diachi had told him, but a little information was dangerous in his hands and he was good at twisting the facts to suit him.

Zero felt ill. He didn't want to believe anything Seiji was saying... yet the pieces fit. He knew Kaname had pharmaceutical related business dealings with the Satos, the pureblood had always treated it as if it was something more important than mere business, and but he'd never given a straightforward answer when questioned about it. Kaname hadn't even told him they were coming today, but kept him _distracted _and then bustled him out the door when they arrived. Kaname hiding anything from him would have stung, but hiding something about Yuki... the hurt went devastatingly deep. _Why? Why hadn't Kaname just told him? _It made no sense at all. Of all the people in the world in whom Kaname should have confided something like that... surely it should have been him, before _Seiji. _

Unconsciously, Zero reached for his lover as if to try and assure himself of something – although he hardly knew what. But he met a barrier there. Kaname had intentionally shut him out. This was more of a vague feeling than an actual thought or realization on his part, but it added to the throbbing ache in his chest.

Zero was shaking; he wanted to hit Seiji _so _badly. Wanted to wrap his vines around him and tear him apart, just to see the surprised look on that smirking, hateful face. But the hunter restrained himself. If he touched Seiji, he had to be ready to try to kill him. Mad as he was, Zero wasn't prepared to take life that easily, whether or not he thought he had a chance in hell of actually doing it anyway. He wouldn't escape the consequences of harming another pureblood in any case, and while he might be angry enough to not care for himself, he had to consider Kaname – even if he was feeling confused, angry and betrayed by the pureblood right now.

"You're pathetic," Zero rasped with hoarse venom. "You step on other people just to make your own useless existence seem powerful. Why should I believe one damn word you say?" Turning away, he strode off with determined steps, heading back towards the villa. But the problem was... he did believe him. He was trying to understand where Kaname was coming from, trying to tell himself that Seiji very well could be lying or exaggerating... but on top of what had happened with Yagari, and his already mixed up feelings... it hurt. Badly.


	28. We Can't Lose This

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _A/N: Yaoi lemon warnings apply for later on this chapter, also some dark-ish vampiric themes / consensual roughness. It was hard to find a good place to break this chapter, but I had to break it up because otherwise it would get waaaaay too long. So, sorry for the sort-of cliffie, things will be resolved next chapter. :) _

**Chapter Twenty-Eight: "We Can't Lose This"**

Zero found Kaname on the spacious balcony that let off of the pureblood's bedroom. Kaname was still wearing the jacket and dress shirt from the meeting with Diachi which had ended only a few minutes before, but the jacket and the top few buttons of the crisp white shirt were unbuttoned and his tie was gone. He'd apparently shed his shoes as well, standing barefoot on the cool stone patio. The sun was just starting to rise behind the distant tree line, painting a golden hue across the balcony that was just starting to creep towards where Kaname stood, although it had not yet reached him. The pureblood was leaning his elbows on the thick marble railing that surrounded the balcony, looking out over the gardens with a distant, faintly melancholy expression. He had a glass of blood wine cupped loosely between long, graceful fingers. The bottle stood open and partially empty on the bedside table inside the sliding glass doors that let out onto the balcony. It wasn't nearly enough to get him drunk unfortunately, and he was pondering if he should try to remedy that situation.

He always felt like this after dealing with something relating to Yuki's death. There was a pain there that felt like it would never go away, no matter how full his life was of other things or how much time should pass. Some wounds didn't heal; you just learned to live with them. His and Diachi's conversation about Zero hadn't helped either, nor was the very strong unsettled vibes he was getting from the hunter who had just entered his rooms.

Zero stopped once he gained the balcony, pausing just outside the sliding glass doors as he regarded the pureblood. If he had been in less inner turmoil himself, the hunter would have seen the clear signs that Kaname was feeling depressed and agitated after his meeting. But right now, it was hard to see anything but the memory of the angry and disgusted look in Yagari's eyes earlier that morning.

Zero did not speak at once, and Kaname continued to stare down into the ruby red wine in his glass. He could feel the encroaching sunlight touching his right sleeve now, but couldn't find enough motivation to move.

"You're angry with me," the pureblood remarked quietly, his tone unreadable as he took another deep draught from the glass in his hand. It didn't take pureblood senses to tell him that. Zero's whole bearing was screaming tension and agitation. Kaname did not turn, but remained where he was, gazing out across the slowly lightening landscape. "Are you going to tell me why, or do I have to guess?" behind the emotionless façade, the question was weary.

Kaname's outward indifference grated on Zero's raw nerves. The pureblood could be so damn infuriating when he drew back into his shell like this. Zero's fists knotted at his sides. He knew this mask was how Kaname held the world at arm's length, but he didn't like it when it was directed at him.

He felt a strong urge to storm over there and do something stupid to try and shatter that gratingly expressionless calm that Kaname exuded so effortlessly, but instead he simply walked over to the railing beside the pureblood, leaning both hands on the thick balustrade as he looked out towards the spreading dawn. Any other time, it would have been a pretty sight as the sun slowly painted the horizon with gold. But right now, Zero was too upset, his gut churning with too much anger and hurt to appreciate anything.

He wasn't even sure what exactly he wanted to say or where to begin... or if he should even bother. The deepest hurt was not something he could just blurt out, it was too painful. So he came at it from a side angle instead.

"Do you want me trained as a hunter because you plan to make me your assassin?" he asked quietly, also avoiding looking at the other vampire His voice was far from calm, but it was at least more controlled than he felt. A simple question that wanted a simple answer.

Kaname's gaze darted towards his companion, as if completely bewildered where _that _unexpected remark had come from. "What? Who put that in your head?"

Zero noted that Kaname did not deny it and he gripped the railing tighter, fixing Kaname with an accusing look. "Do you? Is that really why you brought Master Toga here?"

Kaname's lips compressed into a thin line of frustrated irritation. The way Zero was looking at him hurt. Why did Zero always have to treat him like he had an ulterior motive for everything? He bent over backwards to try to make the boy happy, but it seemed it was never enough. A sudden thought came to him and Kaname's frown darkened.

"You ran into Seiji, didn't you? Is that what this is about?" It made sense. Seiji had made himself scarce during the visit and the notion that Kaname had taken Zero as his protégé in order to create the perfect vampire/hunter hybrid assassin was a notion currently in wide circulation among the pureblood and noble circles. "What, he says I'm using you, and you just _believe _him?" The pain of _that _thought was a little more than Kaname was ready to deal with right now.

"I don't know what to think sometimes..." Zero whispered a bit hoarsely, his fists curling against the railing as he looked away into the distance again, unable to witness the hurt on Kaname's face. This was hard... so much harder than it would have been in the past, because now, seeing those wounded expressions on his lover's face bit at his heart.

Kaname watched Zero for a moment, silently observing the way the faint, golden light painted across his set, stormy features and made his silver-white hair almost blond. Finally, the pureblood looked away again as well. His jaw set.

"What do you want me to say?" he inquired, his forced calm lined with tension. "That it never crossed my mind? Do you think I'm blind? Of course I was _aware_ of the possible advantages of such an arrangement." He took a sip of the wine in the glass he was gripping, although he no longer registered the taste. He could see that whatever Seiji had said to Zero had obviously shaken him deeply, much more deeply than the pureblood would have expected, since he had no way of knowing about the blow up that the hunter had also had with Yagari. Surely, Zero of all people realized what a complete ass Seiji was? Why was he taking _anything _that the other pureblood said to heart? Kaname didn't understand and his gaze slid down to the wine in his glass as he swirled it slowly. Maybe it was unfair, but sometimes he wanted to be accepted without having to explain or justify himself. Was the trust between them really still so thin? That Zero would take _Seiji's_ word over his?

Zero snorted softly in denial. "Blind? No..." _That's my department, apparently. _

"Ah... then you just think me heartless, and a liar," Kaname said quietly. His voice was still calm, but also aching with a distinct melancholy now. He drained his wine glass, still cupping the bowl with one hand. He wanted to squeeze it until it broke.

His gaze finally turned back to rest upon Zero once more. "Just because a move _could_ be made, does not necessitate that it _will_ be made. Zero, I may let others think those are my intentions because it is safer for _you_ if they do, but I had hoped you understood me a little better than that." Kaname's dark eyes were fixed intently on the other's face now and Zero felt his gaze drawn to meet them despite himself. The way the golden light was dancing in the pureblood's dark hair and reflecting on the deep, soulful surface of his eyes was distracting. Even when he was seething and mixed up inside, Zero couldn't help but notice.

"I'm not trying to trap you into something. I brought Toga here for _exactly_ the reasons I told you. I want you to train as a hunter for _exactly_ the reasons I told you... because I want you to be happy and do what you were born to do." A faint, sad smile ghosted across the finely sculpted lips. "Is it so hard to believe that I could want such a thing?"

Zero swallowed a bit raggedly. He wanted so badly to just believe Kaname. It was so easy to feel like he was the one being the jerk here, but the fact remained that Kaname was apparently quite capable of lying to him without compunction, so what was he supposed to believe?

"Really... so, if I wanted to leave... you'd be okay with that?" he asked quietly, before he could stop himself. He didn't know why he said things like that, why he chaffed for a freedom from something that he didn't necessarily want to be free from. Was he testing Kaname? Why? What did he expect him to say? _Are you that desperate to be reassured that he cares about you...? You're pathetic, Kiriyu... _

Kaname felt like someone had kicked him in the chest. _Oh God... _It was physically hard to breathe. His fears were right... Zero did want to leave if he had the choice. "If... if that's what you wanted," Kaname whispered with effort, blinking rapidly and looking away towards the horizon. The words killed him, but he didn't want Zero to think he was trying to hold him captive or manipulate him. "I've never said you had to stay with me. Why are you acting like I'm your jailer?" his voice roughened with emotion that was hard to suppress as he retreated, setting the wine glass down before he broke it by accident and betrayed his silent agitation.

Zero's chest ached hollowly. _Well, what did you expect him to say, genius? "No, don't go?"_

Kaname returned to the railing, gripping it tightly with one hand and glad he could pretend his eyes were stinging because of the growing sunlight. He couldn't do it. He couldn't act like it was fine if Zero wanted to walk out of his life. "But I... I don't want you to leave, if that means anything..." he whispered.

It did. Zero was probably a complete idiot, but it did mean something. _A lot._ He ran his hand through his hair, feeling like he was coming to pieces. He was angry with Kaname, and yet at the same time...

"Master Toga's leaving," he murmured a bit hoarsely, finally breaking down enough to confide that bit of news.

Kaname frowned in surprise. Zero seemed to be hopping subjects all over the place and it was a full time job keeping up with him today. He tried to swallow his pain. He ached to hear that Zero didn't really want to leave, but maybe it was enough that he'd let the subject drop. "What? Why? Was there some kind of emergency?"

Zero snorted bitterly. "Yeah, he realized he was training a vampire," self-loathing crept into Zero's hard tone. "Seiji... told him about us," he added in a whisper, his skin coloring faintly all over again.

Kaname felt a dangerous protective haze settle over him as Zero's mood began to make sense. _Crap... _He was going to kill Seiji next time he saw him. He always thought that, but one of these days he was really going to do it. The _idiot! _Kaname knew how much Yagari's opinion meant to Zero, and he unfortunately could easily imagine the hunter's reaction to Seiji's no doubt un-delicate revelation.

"Zero, I'm so sorry," he murmured, taking a step forward and laying a gentle hand on his lover's shoulder. He tried to put his own hurt aside for Zero's sake. "Let me talk to him, I can fix this..."

Zero shrugged Kaname's hand off his shoulder more roughly than he'd intended. "No! No... just... stay out of it. I don't want you to _fix _things, okay?" Zero was more than afraid that any well-intentioned attempts by Kaname to keep Yagari from leaving would lead to the confrontation that he'd tried very hard to keep from happening.

"Zero..."

"Never mind, just forget it." Zero's voice was harsher than he intended because he was hurting. He folded his arms and stared fixedly at the horizon, trying to hold together the aching pieces of himself.

Kaname turned away. There was a quiet, defeated look on his face. He gave up. He didn't know what Zero wanted from him and why he could never seem to give it. "What is it, Zero? Is it me?" he whispered. "Or just what I am that you can't stand? That you... hate..." Kaname rested his head in his hands, elbows leaning against the railing once more. The sun was riding higher now on its arc up the sky and it was giving him a headache as it beat down on his dark hair.

All the fears that Diachi's words had stirred in him earlier pounded through his aching head. Whispered voices that told him Zero was just tolerating him because he realistically had no choice but to do so. The horrible, gnawing suspicion that Zero was just biding his time, learning everything that Kaname could teach him in the hopes that he would one day find a way to be free of the pureblood. Thinking like that made Kaname sick, but it was hard to shake his own naturally wary nature. He was used to everyone having designs upon him... he just didn't want to see Zero that way. He _couldn't _see him that way. He craved Zero's approval and affection too deeply.

Zero watched the dejected form of the pureblood leaning on the balcony. Kaname's soft words and obvious despondency tugged at him, making his chest throb hollowly. Sometimes it seemed like his lover was two different people. There was the Kaname that faced the world, and there was the Kaname that could only show when they were alone. This Kaname was not in charge of everything, not confident and calculating. This Kaname was lonely, vulnerable, and tired. This Kaname, no one but Zero ever got to see, and it was this Kaname that always drew Zero to him, over and over.

Swallowing his pride and his anger for the moment, as was usually the outcome of any of their disagreements, Zero slid quietly over to Kaname, his arms threading loosely around the other's waist as he stood behind him. Zero could not resist this lost, lonely dejection that made the pureblood look like such a forlorn puppy who wanted only to be held. Kaname was very possibly playing him, knowing his weaknesses, but if so, then he knew them too well.

Softly, Zero nuzzled his head against the side of Kaname's neck. "I didn't say I couldn't stand you," he whispered softly, his words humming low against the smooth skin. "Stop putting words in my mouth." The words were dry, but his tone was gentle. The overpowering urge to touch that silky skin with his lips was too much to fight. Maybe... maybe he was over reacting. He was still swimming in pain from Yagari's rejection, maybe he was unfairly taking that out on Kaname. Maybe there was a perfectly good reason why Kaname hadn't told him about the developments regarding Yuki's death... _and maybe pigs had wings._

But Zero wanted... _needed _to believe that, because as he held Kaname now, feeling the pureblood's heartbeat against his chest... he knew he'd long ago crossed the line of ever being able to walk away. Even if Kaname _was _using him. Even if he was only a well-cared for pawn in the giant chess game that life was to the pureblood. He needed Kaname too much. He wanted him to much. He...

Kaname shuddered softly at the warm sensation of Zero's lips moving against his neck. His arms slid around Zero's where they wrapped around his waist, pulling the other in tighter against his back. His body ached to feel his lover's closeness. To feel the warmth of Zero's body pressed against his. To just get lost in it and forget everything, including the horrible idea that the one holding him might simply be using him, like everyone else did. He was helpless when Zero held him like this, and the ex-human had to know it. Had to know he could get Kaname to do anything so long as he didn't take this away... this one spot of warmth and passion in a cold world, this one place he could be vulnerable, even if it meant he had given Zero far too much power over him. Even if it mean he'd given him his soul.

But his soul was safe there. He knew it. He _knew _it. No one was going to make him doubt Zero or mistrust him again. Not after how disastrous that had nearly been before. If Zero wanted to leave him, Kaname was sure the fault was his own. He knew he wasn't always an easy person to live with.

He tipped his head back against Zero's shoulder with a quiet little moan. His eyes were squeezed shut and his dark lashes were damp. As Zero started to lightly kiss the pureblood's neck, he felt a warm wetness against his cheek where it brushed Kaname's. Turning his head a little, Zero grazed the other's pale cheek with his lips, brushing away the solitary tear and tasting the salt of it on his tongue. Zero's heart throbbed with deep, genuine ache. Kaname's apparent anguish startled him.

"I don't hate you either," he whispered softly as he traced slow kisses and caresses across Kaname's cheek, ear, neck and shoulder, wringing slow, shuddering breaths from the other vampire as he held him close. No matter what Kaname did, Zero couldn't hate him anymore. He could be hurt. He could be furiously angry... but that was different.

"Sometimes you drive me crazy and I want to kill you..." he murmured with a dark wryness that was meant to be amused, and yet also held a little more quiet anguish than he'd intended. He nipped lightly at the sensitive skin at the base of Kaname's throat. The jibe drew a soft, amused snort from the other vampire that indicated the feeling was mutual and the nip drew a sharp, delighted intake of breath. "But I could never hate you," he murmured, voice soft, but serious. One hand slid slowly up Kaname's stomach and chest, coming to rest over the other's heart, which was pounding quite hard now. "Don't you know that by now, Kaname?"

Kaname shuddered again in Zero's arms, the merest touch of the other's hands and mouth making his heart race and his groin ache with fire. No... the fact was, he didn't know that. Sometimes it seemed so hard to tell whether Zero hated him or not. Kaname turned in Zero's grip, wrapping his arms around the other's waist and pulling him close so that the pureblood was sandwiched between the balcony railing and Zero's body. His eyes were so soft... almost desperate as they caressed Zero's face. He didn't expect Zero to ever love him the way he loved the hunter... but if only... if only Zero could care enough to stay with him... to hold him... to fill that place in Kaname's heart that was so desperately desolate... he would do anything.

Zero's breath caught at the look Kaname was fixing on him and his hands slid up, cupping the pureblood's beautiful face between his palms. Nothing could touch him deeper than the fathomless, shifting emotions in those garnet eyes. Suddenly, Zero wondered if he was being honest with himself about why finding out that his lover had been hiding things from him hurt so much. Sure, there were the painful, frightened fears that Kaname was using him; the natural wariness that a lifetime of mistrusting vampires had bred. There was the pain about being kept in the dark about Yuki, whose death was like acid on his soul every time he thought about it. But just maybe there was another fear there as well. The fear that it was a sign Kaname did not consider their relationship all that permanent. That no matter how much he might care, Kaname still ultimately saw Zero as only another game piece to be moved around as it suited him. That deep down, the pureblood was hedging his bets.

And who could blame him? Zero was certainly the joke prize as far as suitable lovers for a pureblood vampire prince went, wasn't he? Looking at Kaname, Zero realized with a sinking heart how very wide the gulf between them really was. He'd never let himself see it like that before, because to admit such was to accept the vampire hierarchy which was part of a society that he despised and rebelled against. But Kaname was part of that society, and the truth when looked at from that point of view was crushing. Illogical fear overrode his logical mind. He was an absolute fool to think that Kaname would be happy in a situation like this, with someone like him, forever. And Kaname practically had forever, didn't he? So much time... Zero couldn't even imagine it. Someday, would Kaname look back on the impetuousness of his youthful ardor with embarrassment and chagrin?

Sure, perhaps the pureblood would always need to have Zero alive and he was a considerate enough person to want the hunter happy and comfortable, but... what would happen when he finally tired of his headstrong, troublesome ex-human lover? What would happen when those beautiful eyes no longer looked at Zero like he was the only person on earth? When the seductive, infuriating pureblood no longer randomly jumped him on his way out of the shower simply because the idea of Zero in there naked had driven him crazy? When the heart that Zero could feel beating so rapidly now, against his own... finally cooled towards him and moved on to other pursuits?

For the first time... Zero realized that when that day came, it would kill him. For the first time, Zero realized that he was so used to letting Kaname take the initiative in their relationship that he'd never stopped to consider what would happen if one day the pureblood lost interest and stopped pursuing him when he pulled away. His heartbeat quickened and his stomach churned.

"Kaname..." Zero whispered softly, desperately needing Kaname to be truthful with him now, to prove that what they had was real, that he wasn't building his life and his hopes on nothing but shifting sand. "Why did the Satos come here today?"

Kaname was lost in Zero's eyes. He blinked as if dazed when the ex-human spoke. A small, cold fist knotted in his stomach. Some part of him knew that now was the time to level with Zero about his quest... but he was afraid. He was afraid to lose the warmth of Zero's arms and of his gaze... afraid that as soon as he told him, and revealed that he'd been hiding it from him all this time... the beautiful violet eyes would be hard and closed to him again and Zero would push him away. It was pathetically weak and cowardly of him, unforgivably so... but he couldn't take the rejection right now. He could tell him later... surely it didn't make a difference at this point if he waited a little longer?

"I told you, it was just some business. I'm sorry Seiji caused so much trouble, I'll make sure he's never allowed on the grounds again if you like..." Kaname murmured, leaning forward and kissing Zero's jaw softly, tracing the curve of his neck, needing to taste and to touch him.

The tight fist squeezing Zero's heart clenched unmercifully and he struggled for air. Kaname's movements made his hands slide down the pureblood's neck to his shoulders. His fingers curled tightly in Kaname's jacket. "Business?" he whispered hoarsely. "What kind of business, Kaname?" _Please... please tell me... Please show me I mean something to you... that you trust me. You can spin things however you want to the rest of the world, you can play the games you need to play, I don't care... but don't try to spin _me,_ Kaname. Don't play me. _

Kaname buried his face against Zero's neck, kissing and sucking warmly. His chest burned. He hated lying to him... but he couldn't change his story now and he just wanted Zero to drop the matter and forget about it. "It was nothing, Zero, just some new drug research," he murmured distractedly, telling part of the truth.

Zero felt a deep, deep pain in his soul. For a moment, he wasn't even angry. He simply felt lost. He pulled back, his hands sliding up to capture Kaname's face between them again, his fingers sliding into the pureblood's dark tresses and feeling the silky softness of the hair as it curled around his them. His thumbs rested on the sides of Kaname's high cheekbones. Zero stroked the smooth skin with lightly callused fingers. His hands were trembling.

He stared at Kaname, lost in an inner maelstrom that was slowly sucking him under. He traced the familiar face with his gaze. The strong, graceful features, the silky tumble of hair and those gentle, passionate eyes that could be so deadly, but reserved their most caring looks for him. Those eyes he could drown in. Those eyes he would give his life for... those eyes that could look at him and lie to his face with such sincerity that even knowing the truth, Zero was almost ready to believe him anyway. Yagari was right. He was an idiot.

Vampires didn't exactly put a premium on truth, and purebloods were masters of deception by nature. It was not a surprise that Kaname was skilled thus... but it shook Zero. It shook him deeply. How much of his life, of his relationship to Kaname was built on lies? Perhaps not malicious ones, but that didn't matter. Zero hated being a pawn, hated the idea of only being told whatever 'truths' Kaname wanted him to believe or decided were for the best in order to guide Zero along whatever path he desired. Where was the trust in a relationship like that?

Zero felt like someone had torn his insides out with a dull garden claw. This man had become everything to him. He had nothing else... but he didn't need anything else, as long as he had _him_. These were not thoughts he'd allowed himself to consciously ponder before, but they were true, and the sudden, rushing ache of despair in his gut now told him just how true they were. Somewhere along the way, he'd... he'd...

_He'd fallen in love with Kaname Kuran_.

The realization shook him to his core. Friends, sure, lovers, yeah... but it was very different for him to admit that he was _in _love with this dynamic, unreachable pureblood vampire. How ironically stupid was it, that he should only realize it so plainly now, when it was clearer than ever that his Sensei was right and he was setting himself up for a horrible fall?

Yagari was both right and wrong at the same time, though. Zero had made a horrible mistake, but not in trusting Kaname. No... this was not Kaname's fault. Zero knew the fault was all his own. Because he was a moth to a candle who was stupid enough to fancy that he could dance with the flame without being consumed. It was not the fire's fault that it consumed – that was merely its nature. It was not Kaname's fault that he sucked people into the swirling vortex of his orbit, dazzled by his power, his beauty, his authority and... his gentle heart. It was the danger of a pureblood vampire made a thousand times more dangerous because this pureblood had so many genuine qualities that others lacked. Kaname had been nothing but good to him. He'd never pretended that there was anything more than deep, affectionate friendship and caring between them. Kaname owed him nothing, and he owed Kaname everything... and yet... yet it wasn't enough. He wanted so much more. He was a hopeless, selfish bastard, and he couldn't help it.

Zero pulled Kaname closer, his heart throbbing in agony. Closing his eyes to hide his tears, Zero leaned in... and his lips ghosted across Kaname's in a trembling, feather-light kiss.

Kaname froze, hardly daring to breathe. All the times that they had held each other these past weeks and months, all the times they had caressed and made love... in all that time, this, the simplest, most chaste sign of affection, was the one thing that they had not exchanged. Zero had not willingly kissed him on the mouth since the night Yuki had been attacked; now so long ago it felt like it had been in a different lifetime. The only time their lips had met since then, it had been from anger. Kaname had forced Zero, brutally, and he had never truly forgiven himself for that. He had never again tried to kiss Zero either, leaving that for his lover to initiate, should he ever wish to do so. But Zero never had, and Kaname had resigned himself to the acceptance that his loss of control in the library before the flood had ruined that form of intimacy for them for good. Being unable to kiss the one person in the world that he loved more than life was his punishment and his penance.

But now... now Zero's soft, moist lips moved hesitantly against his, pressing closer. Kaname's chest both tightened and expanded at the same time, his whole being lighting with a love and adoration so deep it was painful. He didn't dare move, or breathe... afraid to break whatever beautiful spell was drawing Zero close to him.

Zero caressed Kaname's lips softly. He'd wondered that Kaname never seemed to want to kiss him anymore, but he'd been too embarrassed and shy to initiate the contact himself. That certainly seemed stupid, given all the _other _things they did, but for some reason this particular expression of affection seemed so _personal_. He pressed closer, his mouth sealing more firmly to the pureblood's. Yes... yes, it _was_ personal. It meant exactly what Zero had feared it would mean. That he had completely given away his heart. Foolishly. Irrevocably. Eternally.

Kaname's head almost swam as Zero parted his lips softly and he felt the warmth of his lover's tongue probing him. His fingers knotted tightly into partner's shirt as he hesitantly let himself reciprocate, welcoming the ex-human into his mouth and lightly caressing Zero's tongue with his. His heart was thundering in his ears and his knees felt weak. He was glad Zero's body had him pinned to the railing behind him or he was embarrassedly unsure of how steady he would be. Zero's kiss held him in thrall, every fiber in his being thrilling from it and aching for it.

Zero could feel Kaname's complete surrender in his arms, and the confused throbbing in his chest swelled to unimaginable new heights. There was no describing how much he adored Kaname's extreme responsiveness and sensuality. No describing how much he loved the way that it seemed like every time they touched, nothing else in the world existed to the pureblood. He could make Kaname weak from desire... why could he not touch his heart?

The pureblood's eyes had fluttered shut out of reflex when the kiss began, but he opened them again now, not wanting to miss one moment. Zero was radiantly beautiful in the golden morning light. His eyes were closed. Sunlight frosted his pale hair and smooth, strong features. It made his long, dark lashes almost translucent as they brushed his cheeks. It danced and reflected off of the shiny surface of his earrings like little sparks of fire. Although the light made Kaname's eyes burn, it was not the glare of the sun which etched the graceful, breathtaking image of his lover so indelibly into his mind, but rather, the blaze inside his own heart.

They separated after a moment and Kaname had to control himself to keep from panting for breath. He was practically glowing from the delight of their kiss, yet he could tell something was wrong. Zero was still exuding a crazy tangle of emotions... including pain. He ached to take that pain away. He felt like it was his fault in some way, he just didn't know how.

"Zero..." he murmured breathlessly, but Zero shook his head.

"Don't speak," he whispered hoarsely. He couldn't believe anything Kaname said right now, so he just didn't want to hear it, didn't want to focus on the hurt and the pain. He couldn't confront Kaname about his deception at this moment. The hurt was too deep and he was too confused. Instead he found himself just wanting to cling to Kaname and deny the bitter fear that this was an all too temporary situation. Who knew how long he had before Kuran grew tired of him? Before he stopped responding so beautifully and completely to his touches and his adoration? Whatever time was left, Zero did not want to waste.

Zero pressed forward and kissed Kaname again. The open-mouthed kiss was hard and desperate. He sucked Kaname's tongue and plundered his lover's mouth aggressively as if seeking the reassuring truth of the physical connection they shared. As if he could possess all of Kaname at once and in so doing hold onto him forever.

Kaname groaned softly in absolute delight. His hands slid up to tangle urgently in Zero's pale hair, pulling the other boy's head even closer as the pureblood returned the deep, hungry kiss. All hesitancy was gone now. Lips, teeth and tongue teased, caressed and explored, delving sensually into the deep, exotic heat of his lover's mouth. Kaname's chest was heaving and Zero's was starting to as well as they stood tangled together. Kaname's tongue slid slowly across Zero's fangs, tracing their contours. The fangs and gums were very sensitive, erogenous areas for vampires, something that the pureblood used to full effect as he skillfully devoured his lover's mouth. He intentionally pressed hard enough to cut his tongue on the razor sharp edge of Zero's fangs as they kissed, the coppery taste of his blood washing across Zero's senses like a molten spike through his groin.

It was Zero's turn to shudder and groan softly at Kaname's all out sensual assault. The feel of the other's lips and mouth, the intense passion of the kiss and the familiar taste of Kaname's blood made his pulse pound in his ears and his stomach knot harshly, fiery arousal thrumming through him with every beat of his heart. No one could make his heart race, could make his very blood turn to sheer, needy fire like this man. No one could enslave his soul and make every fiber of his being yearn only for one kiss, one touch, one other soul, like this man could.

Zero growled hungrily, his hands sliding to Kaname's hips. In a swift movement he'd pushed Kaname back harder against the thick stone balustrade behind him, lifting the pureblood a little so he was perched half sitting on the edge of the wide railing with Zero standing between his thighs. Zero's eyes were now tinged with red and Kaname's body shuddered as their hips rubbed together, the hardness of their mutual arousal nearly hazing out his senses completely as they pressed against one another. Kaname loved it when Zero's gaze became this intense, when he looked so hungry for the pureblood it was like the madness... but so much more passionate and incredibly erotic.

_I love you, Zero. _The words that would completely freak the other boy out and were too dangerous to ever say remained unspoken, but they echoed silently in the pureblood's mind.

Kaname bit Zero's tongue sharply, then his lip, fangs sliding sensually through flesh, savoring his lover's blood, goading on the delightfully wild flicker in the ex-human's red-tinged eyes as his hands ran up and down the other's back, claw-like fingernails suddenly sharp enough to cut right through the shirt Zero was wearing and draw blood, the light cuts mere scratches only compared with what those claws were capable of doing. Kaname wasn't trying to hurt him, quite the opposite in fact, he was struggling for control, but he just couldn't help himself. He was emotionally off balance and vulnerable, Zero was driving him crazy and his vampire predilections were surging.

Zero groaned sharply in pain and pleasure. He was unaccountably turned on by the raw sting of Kaname's fangs and his claws. It should hurt, he should be scared or upset... but he wasn't. He was far too aroused and the vampire darkness in him that was already riding at the surface of his torn-up feelings surged to the fore. This time he did not fight them.

He panted harshly for breath, feeling like he was going to explode already as he pushed against his lover's hard body, one hand sliding down to catch Kaname's knee and pull it up his hip, molding the pureblood against him. He knew Kaname well enough by now to subconsciously know his moods, his signals and his needs. Whether he was aware of it or not, Zero perceived that Kaname was troubled in mind and heart and wanted to forget for a while. The pureblood was egging Zero, teasing him, pushing him, but he was making no move to claim control of the situation, which meant Kaname wanted to be taken... and he obviously wanted to play rough. These were things Zero knew on some instinctual level that did not actually cross his conscious his mind. Perhaps their bond made both of them sensitive to what the other needed and wanted, or perhaps it was merely the unlikely, uniquely perfect blending of their natures and desires.

Right now all that was playing in Zero's mind, however, was the deep, fevered heat of desire that his pureblood lover evoked in him, twined with the urgent, hopeless frustration of unrequited love and broken trust. Maybe this was all he had, all he would _ever_ have of Kaname. Perhaps this was as close as he would ever be allowed to come to touching the untouchable and attaining the unobtainable. The intense yearning to take the gorgeously seductive vampire as hard as possible throbbed through the hunter's veins, pulsing with the desire to make love to Kaname until he couldn't take anymore.

Kaname could see that intention written in his lover's eyes, and the delighted ache in his stomach and groin was almost painful in its intensity. He wanted it. He wanted what those beautifully feral eyes promised him. Wanted it so much he could hardly breathe. He knew that in so many ways in their life together, he was always the one in control and Zero felt, perhaps not unjustifiably so, that in the grand scheme of things he was powerless in the pureblood's shadow. When it was just the two of them, however, all of that fell away. _Let me be yours... let me show you how much I love you, even if you'll never understand. _

Zero returned Kaname's delightfully savage kiss, biting the pureblood's tongue and lips sensually, repeatedly, mauling them remorselessly since they healed almost immediately from one bite to the next. Zero could be a lot rougher with Kaname than Kaname could be with him; the pureblood's body could simply take more, and was apparently wired to be far more receptive to pleasurable pain. He did not fight the urges this time as he pulled Kaname almost harshly against him, his eyes beginning to bottom out into immeasurable hunger.

Kaname whimpered and groaned in delighted agony and his finger nails dug harshly into Zero's shoulder blades again as the hunter practically tore the pureblood's shirt and jacket off his body, casting them aside on the floor and not caring how much he ripped them in the process. Zero needed to feel Kaname's skin, needed to touch him, to inhale him, to taste him, to breathe and feel him in every way possible. His hands roved the newly naked skin as hungrily as his mouth, mapping the strong, perfect lines of the pureblood's slim but muscular chest and back. Zero's mouth glided down to Kaname's neck – licking, kissing, teasing and finally biting – drawing the other's blood slowly but demandingly. At the same time, his fingers slid to the catch of Kaname's trousers, starting to undo them.

Kaname's dark head fell back in an absolute whirl of sheer, dizzy arousal, giving Zero better access to his neck. The rising sun seemed unmercifully hot on his naked skin, adding to the feverish sensation of Zero's caresses. There was no comparison to the feeling of Zero drinking his blood, his hands touching him everywhere... he was completely enslaved and he didn't even care.

The faint sound of voices below caught at the pureblood's sharp hearing and his body tensed up as a small sliver of reason returned and he realized how very exposed they were here.

"Where have you been? It's roasting out here, we should have left a half hour ago," Diachi Sato's cool, irritated voice floated faintly to them from the garden path below. "You could have at least _pretended _to be interested in your own family's business affairs."

"The family doesn't need me, Diachi, it has you..." Seiji's careless voice responded with a hint of underlying bitterness.

The soft rustle of fabric told keen ears that Diachi had grabbed his brother's arm and probably spun him around to face him. "Don't start that with me. They'd take you seriously if you'd ever show the least inclination towards _anything _besides running up exorbitant debts..."

Kaname felt his stomach knot and a hot, panicky flush burn his skin as the two visiting purebloods stopped to argue on the path almost directly below his balcony. He pushed at Zero's chest, trying to get off the ledge he was perched so prominently upon. They were a good four stories off the ground up here, but vampire eyes were keen. If either of the two Satos chanced to look up, they would get a nice clear view of Kaname sitting half naked on his own balcony rail, twined intimately around the ex-human who held him pinned there and was obviously feeding on him. That would not do. It would be a complete disaster for another pureblood to see him like this, especially those two. Diachi already knew too much about him and disapproved of this relationship, and he could trust Seiji to blast any compromising gossip to the world as a whole just because he felt like it.

"Zero... inside... let's continue inside..." he murmured breathlessly, unable to keep from leaning forward and tracing his lips along the other's jaw.

Zero didn't budge. He grabbed Kaname's hips roughly and pushed him back even more on the railing, further exposing him and his half naked state. Zero glanced down over Kaname's shoulder to the ground below. He could see the two purebloods arguing heatedly in the shade of the tree-lined path, with a female noble standing quietly a few paces away, eyes downcast as if she was used to pretending not to notice the brothers' quarrels. None of them had noticed the pair on the balcony ye. The charms that Aido and Zero had set around Kaname's rooms and especially on his balcony to protect his privacy saw to that. They acted as a barrier to keep sounds and scents from within muted and muffled to the outside world, while allowing those from without to penetrate in, unless Kaname closed the sound proofed balcony doors so he could have quiet. That and the bracelets they were both wearing were the only reason that the three vampires below hadn't already picked up on the smell of Kaname's blood.

The Satos seemed quite absorbed in their own troubles and it was likely they would remain that way unless something happened to draw their attention thither. Zero dismissed them, his gaze and attention keenly focusing back in on Kaname and how delightfully exciting it was to have the pureblood at a disadvantage for a change.

"No... I like it here..." he murmured back with a wickedly playful grin as he pushed Kaname's pants down his hips to the railing, exposing the graceful curve of his lower back and the top of his backside.

Kaname looked somewhere between angry, aroused and panicked. It was an intoxicating combination, Zero thought. Was it wicked of him, to savor the rare sight of uncertainty and apprehension on his lover's face? Was it wicked of him to delight in it as proof that beneath the perfect exterior, Kaname was capable of being as 'human' as he was? That he was not making love to an unreachable being whom he could never hope to truly fathom or connect with? Well then, perhaps he was wicked. Being with Kaname had made him so. After all, it wasn't as if the pureblood didn't routinely embarrass him in a million little ways...

"Zero!" Kaname hissed urgently but softly through his teeth in protest. He was through playing and about to truly push the other off him.

Zero didn't give him the chance. He slid Kaname's aching erection free from his disheveled clothing and gripped it firmly in his fist, pumping the swollen flesh in a couple of long, slow strokes. Predictably, Kaname completely forgot what he was doing for a moment as his eyes glazed in helpless pleasure and he shuddered in Zero's grasp. Zero scratched his thumbnail swiftly up the side of the shaft as he held it and Kaname's head snapped back. The pureblood bit his lower lip hard enough to draw blood to keep from crying out at the quakes of sheer pleasure chasing through him. He was keenly aware of the people below and of the fact that Zero knew how to control him far too well.

"They won't notice us if you stay very, very quiet..." Zero murmured with a dark, predatory grin as he scratched his thumbnail across the sensitive head of Kaname's heavy, swollen flesh, making it almost impossible for Kaname to stay anything like quiet.

Yet the pureblood managed, his head snapping forward, face pressing against the side of Zero's neck, desperately muffling any outcry against the other's skin. His pale cheeks were flaming with embarrassment at this situation and with the heat of the sun flooding the balcony. By now, it felt like it was literally trying to scorch his exposed skin. Usually, Kaname was all right in the sunlight. He didn't like it, it was painful to his eyes and his senses, but his body was naturally strong. So long as he was wearing long sleeves and long pants, he could endure being out all day if he absolutely had to... providing there was plenty of shade to retreat to when the sun became too much. Exposed like he was now, however, he was definitely feeling it.

"Are you ashamed of me, Kaname?" Zero whispered, licking and kissing his lover's neck relentlessly as he pleasured him, his other hand tugging at Kaname's pants, working them free from beneath his hips and stripping them away, leaving his lover perched completely naked on the railing. Maybe Zero was still feeling a little upset and a trifle vindictive. His voice trembled with a faint ache against the delicious skin, however. "Am I nothing but your dirty little secret?"

Kaname's head came up. His eyes flickered with unreadable emotion and Zero couldn't help soaking up the incredible, desirable effect of the flush on his face.

"No..." the pureblood whispered quickly, his voice hoarse. He didn't want Zero to think such a thing. "No, it's not that..."

"Then you won't mind where I make love to you..." Zero murmured, spreading Kaname's thighs with his hips as his fingers slid swiftly to the fly of his own trousers.

Kaname was just going to kill him for this later. Zero knew payback was going to be a bitch once the pureblood's head wasn't so cloudy with need and arousal. But whatever happened would be totally worth the priceless way Kaname's eyes widened in shock as he realized Zero intended to take him right there on the balcony rail, in full view of anyone who wanted to look up and see.

"Zero!" again the hissed, panicked little whisper that sent pure, golden fire throbbing mercilessly through Zero's veins. He hadn't felt quite this intensely aroused in a long time and the dark elixir of it was tearing him to delightful shreds inside. Kaname craned his neck, trying to look down and see where Diachi and Seiji were and what they were doing. He could easily have already been off this balcony edge any time he wanted, he knew that. Zero was strong and capable of being quite dangerous, but if Kaname so chose, he could have thrown him across the balcony already with a mere thought. Yet as embarrassed and outraged as he was... the delightful, wicked fear of getting caught, of the fact that Zero was doing this to him, that beautifully feral look in his lovers eyes... it was all so incredibly exotic that Kaname could not find the desire to resist. He felt like Zero was going to make him come just by looking at him, just by holding him here.

Turning his gaze away from Zero was a mistake, however, because Kaname was unprepared for the feeling of Zero's hot mouth latching onto one of his pale nipples as Zero leaned him further back over the drop off below, his fangs teasing the sensitive skin lightly and then biting down and drawing blood. Kaname almost couldn't stifle his yelp in time and nearly choked on it, his heart hammering so hard it made his head swim.

"Maybe I _want_ them to see..." Zero murmured darkly as he positioned himself between Kaname's legs, supporting the pureblood's back with one hand and stroking his inner thighs torturously with the other. "Everyone knows I belong to you – I'm your project, your protégé, the stray mutt you took in and made your pet... maybe I want them to know you belong to me too. You do, don't you, Kaname?" The last, soft question wasn't a taunt like the rest. It was quiet and desperate, almost a plea.

_Belong to you?_ _Only my entire body, heart and soul, Zero..._ Kaname closed his eyes, burying his face against Zero's shoulder in surrender as the other leaned over him, but he didn't answer. Wasn't it answer enough that he was submitting to this? That he was letting Zero completely humiliate him and risk irreparable scandal... that... that he was enjoying it so intensely he felt like his heart was going to stop any moment?

Kaname felt the hot, firm shape of Zero's arousal slide against his thigh and then slip up against his own. He grabbed Zero's shoulders again, fingers digging ruthlessly through the ruined shirt and into flesh as the fire created by the incredible, slick friction of their bodies rubbing together completely overrode his mind and senses. He was going to die. You couldn't be this incredibly aroused and live, there had to be some physical law of nature that would prevent it. _Oh God..._

Kaname was too out of it in a sea of pleasure to notice that Zero was deeply hurt by the lack of reply to his question. The hunter knew Kaname wanted him, even _needed_ him, but right now, that wasn't enough to combat the hurt of his lover's lies, of Seiji's smirking accusations and Yagari's biting disdain and rejection.

Zero's jaw set darkly as his fingers dug into the soft flesh of Kaname's thigh, pulling it higher up his side as he leaned over the pureblood, practically laying him down on the thick balustrade. He refused to let the hurt bite too deep, or at least he tried to. Kaname could keep things in their proper context, why couldn't he?

Anger and hurt fueled the intense arousal pounding through the young hunter, taking it to entirely new heights as his grip on Kaname tightened and he rocked his hips hard, penetrating the other in a short, brutal motion. Kaname was very aroused, but he wasn't prepared for proper penetration. Zero gasped at the unbelievable sensation. Kaname's body was unbelievably tight and hot as it resisted the intrusion automatically. Zero didn't bother giving him a chance to adjust, not this time. He rocked his hips hard, almost viciously, forcing his way past the protesting muscles, forcing Kaname's body to accept him deeper and deeper until he was buried to the hilt. Jerking back out, he thrust in again, and again.

It was all Kaname could do not to scream when Zero unexpectedly penetrated him. He clawed at Zero's back, desperately burying his face against his lover's neck and keening softly in short, desperate gasps as Zero gave him no time to adjust or even try to relax, screwing him ruthlessly into the unyielding stone below. It hurt badly, there was no denying that. He wasn't prepared and Zero was tearing him unmercifully. But it was also the most darkly erotic sensation he'd ever experienced. Kaname clung to Zero, head spinning. He wouldn't have asked him to stop for the world.

Zero's fangs were aroused. His eyes were deeply red and shot through with black. The ex-human was vamping out to an extent that Kaname had never seen him do before, and the pureblood was completely captivated. It appealed to the wild, darker side of Kaname's nature, which had been begging for attention for quite some time now.

Mindful of the need to be quiet, the pureblood tried to muffle his gasp and groans against his lover's skin. Zero jerked completely out of him and then thrust all the way back in, striking home against the deepest and most sensitive area inside the pureblood. Kaname bit down hard on Zero's neck, fangs penetrating his flesh with the satisfying sensation of biting into a crisp, ripe apple. It was the only way to stifle his outcry of agonized pleasure. The taste of Zero's blood exploding into his senses at the same moment tripled the dizzying bliss sparking through him.

Kaname was so aroused that physical hurt was quickly taking on a completely different hue that was impossible to explain in human terms. His system was flooded with vampiric endorphins that stimulated the pleasure centers of his brain, flipping an internal chemical switch which translated pain signals into pleasure signals and pleasure signals into near orgasmic ecstasy. It took a certain degree of brutal stimulation and sensory input to reach that point, but once it was achieved _every_ sensation became a pleasurable one. The rougher Zero was, the better it felt. Kaname couldn't stop himself from sucking his lover's blood, releasing, and then biting down again on the tempting, pale flesh as he felt Zero's muscles knot and strain under his mouth, the muscular body pressing hard against his own.

Zero groaned harshly at the sharp sting of Kaname's fangs mauling his neck, the intense, searing sensation goading him to slam his hips harder and harder into the willing body pinned to the railing. The thought that a few floors below, three other vampires were blissfully unaware of the activities above them sent extra, unexpected heat boiling through his veins. Normally, Zero would have been more mortified than Kaname by the thought of someone seeing them. But just at the moment, he wasn't feeling at all normal. Zero's mouth closed on Kaname's neck again. He sucked urgently before biting down with equal ferver and the soul shattering experience of mutual blood sharing between bonded lovers heightened both their senses to fever pitch.

Kaname arched to meet the ex-human's rapid thrusts eagerly, their hips moving together more easily now as the pureblood's body gave for him. Kaname could feel his control slipping swiftly away, but he wasn't ready to let it. The game was getting too dangerous. He could feel the first fingers of a shattering climax rapidly building and pooling inside him. There was no way he was going to be able to weather it in silence. With a rush of super human power, Kaname had them both off the railing before Zero was quite aware of what was happening. Much as he hated to move and break the intense heat of the moment, they couldn't finish this here. They really needed to go inside.

Kissing and caressing Zero like one possessed, Kaname shredded the shirt the ex-human was wearing in a matter of moments, hands exploring hungrily as he practically dragged the boy towards the open door leading in to the bedroom.

Much to Kaname's surprise, Zero wrenched free before they got there, pushing Kaname away from him. Kaname looked at him in blank shock. His body was on fire, he needed Zero like he needed air to breath, and looking at Zero he could tell he was just as aroused. He reached for him but Zero took another pace back, his chest heaving. He raised his hands in warning. The red in his eyes had dulled a little. The non-vampire side of Zero's nature was struggling to reassert itself, but he was brutally confused. Yagari's words, Seiji's words, his own jumbled feelings and fears, the strange, unbearable ache of being lied to and used... it was all mingling uneasily with his darkly throbbing desire and Zero was reeling.


	29. My Only Love

**Chapter Twenty-Nine: "My Only Love"**

"No," Zero snapped hoarsely, his voice low but tense. His head was pounding. He couldn't think, but he was speaking, words tumbling out of him in an anguished, angry rush. "I don't have to _perform_ for you on your terms. Everything's _always_ on your terms, by _your _rules. That's how you dish out anything, even truth. I don't want to have to fit into your frickin' chess games! I'm sick of it, Kaname! Find somebody else to fuck with!" It was, perhaps, a poor choice of words given their situation, since he didn't mean it literally. He hadn't meant for his hurt and anger to come bubbling out in that somewhat convoluted way either, and Zero regretted the words the instant he realized he had spoken them. It didn't matter how angry and confused he was, nothing could dull the sharp edge of pain that knifed through him at the expression on Kaname's face. The pureblood looked like Zero could have stabbed him with an Artemis stake and it would have been less painful.

Zero gripped his head in both hands, fingers curling into his short silver hair hard enough to hurt. Damn it! What was _wrong _with him? He felt like he was losing it. He knew he'd been on the verge of being completely out of control a few moments ago... strike that... he was_ still_ on that slippery and dangerous edge. He was torn between being terrified of what he feared he was capable of doing and the intense desire to let go and plunge willingly into the sadistic release for which his whole body was still begging. But... but he couldn't do that! _Dear god... what was he doing? _He was not a monster, he was _not! _He-he shouldn't be hurting Kaname like this... he wanted to, so badly... but he shouldn't! He didn't understand what he was feeling and he felt like he was going to either cry or rip something into pieces.

Kaname felt like the floor was dropping out beneath him. He should have felt angry perhaps, at what Zero had just said, at the seemingly unreasonable and schizophrenic way he was acting... but the accusations hurt so damn deep. Zero still thought Kaname saw him as nothing but a pawn? Aching hopelessness ate at him. What had he not done, what more could he possibly _do_ to show Zero how he really felt? It was too much to expect Zero to feel the way he did, but was it too much to wish that he could at least not be given the benefit of the doubt? Why could he never do enough? Or do it right? _Go find someone else... _that sounded terrifyingly like _I don't want to be with you anymore. _

"Zero, I didn't mean to make you angry..." he started forward again, reaching out, needing to touch the other, but Zero backed away again, shaking his head.

The hunter didn't feel like a very safe person to be around right now. He was frightened of himself and the way he'd been behaving. The desires and urges still clawing at the ragged edges of his control frightened him. He wanted to hurt Kaname. He _really_ wanted to hurt him. Even now... he ached to throw him down on the ground and take the pureblood until he screamed, but weirdly enough, _not_ because he was angry. He _was _angry, but that wasn't where the desire was coming from... which had him completely and utterly confused. How could you care about someone and want to hurt them so much at the same time? For someone like Zero, a born human and a made vampire, the apparently contradictory emotions would have been confusing enough under normal circumstances, but his mixed up emotional state compounded the issue considerably.

Zero's desire to just bolt was mounting rapidly. In spite of how angry and hurt he was right now, he cared about Kaname, _deeply_. So deeply it ached. So deeply it twisted inside him like a suffocating vice, squeezing the air out of his lungs and all the blood out of his heart. He couldn't risk losing it and hurting him. It'd be better if he got away until he could clear his head.

"I...I need to cool down, Kaname... I'm sorry..." he muttered with a supreme show of will power as he started to withdraw, tugging in frustration at his pants and trying to ignore the mutinous fire still throbbing through him. It was bitterly hard and everything in him cried out against pulling away. But he had to. He was too screwed up right now. He didn't want this to spiral out of control and cause irreparable damage. Been there, done that, shot his lover in the side over a misunderstanding... couldn't do that again.

"Don't..." the soft, unexpected desperation in Kaname's voice actually made Zero pause and look back when he'd just sworn to himself that nothing would.

Kaname had moved out across the balcony again, standing with his back to the railing, golden sunlight framing his dark curls in backlit halos of light. "If you want me here, then here I am..." he murmured faintly. The pureblood's face was completely flushed with mortification. Part of him couldn't believe he was going this far. But he was so afraid... afraid that if Zero walked away from him now, he'd never come back, not even as a friend. Zero had just kissed him for the first time in forever... Kaname had to dared hope... and he couldn't let go. He couldn't risk messing this up, no matter what he had to do. He couldn't let the hunter walk away now. He feared they could never recapture this moment... that he would lose what he had seen a few minutes ago in Zero's eyes.

"_Your_ terms, Zero, _your_ rules," he whispered softly. "Anything you want."

Zero froze. The picture that Kaname made, standing there naked in the golden sunlight, flushed with embarrassment and desire and acting so unnaturally compliant... it made the hunter ache with desires deeper and darker than he could control. He needed to get out. _Now._

So why was he still standing here? Held captive by the look in Kaname's eyes... trapped once again like that moth who gazed mesmerized at a flame. You knew the fire would burn you... but you didn't care. Because the fire was _that_ beautiful, that bright and alluring... you wanted to be part of it, even if it was only a few fleeting moments of blazing glory before you were destroyed.

Zero swallowed hard. He could feel himself falling. He could not will his feet to pull him away. He needed Kaname to withdraw his irresistible offer, needed to push the pureblood away somehow before things went horribly wrong... He was still holding his pants up with one hand and he felt the lump of Yagari's knife on his belt. He grasped at the first thing that came to mind, trying to break free of the spell he was falling under. He pulled the hunter blade, letting Kaname see it.

"My terms?" Zero asked incredulously, trying for bitter but ending up simply hoarse and breathless. "And what if my terms were that you have to let me cut you? Let me take away that invincible healing of yours so I could know I was making love to something made of flesh and blood? Something I could leave a mark on..." he rasped quietly, darkly.

Kaname hated anti-vampire weapons. He'd gotten better at hiding it since the first time he'd all but freaked out when Zero pulled a hunter charm on him, but Zero knew that deep down, the pureblood still feared the weakness they could cause. He was sure Kaname would never agree to such an outrageous request. He expected the pureblood to be upset, he wanted to provoke him and hopefully make him realize that they both needed to cool down and try to pick up the pieces later. If there were any pieces left to pick up.

He did _not_ expect what happened.

Kaname was suddenly beside him, having moved with his unusual vampire speed. "Do it," the pureblood whispered quietly, but without hesitation. Kaname's face couldn't have flushed any more painfully hot if he'd been scalded but he'd already made his decision and his resolve was absolute. Whatever it was that Zero needed from him, to prove that he saw the hunter as an equal, not a game piece, to prove how much he cared about him... the pureblood would endure it without question. Besides, just the _thought _that Zero _wanted _to mark him made his insides flip-flop with yearning.

Zero stood there, stunned and suddenly not knowing what to do. Kaname took the hunter's knife hand in his own. Before Zero had really thought through if this was something he _actually_ wanted to do or not, Kaname had placed their hands together at his own neck, the knife blade resting against his bite area. The cut would be most effective there. Zero saw the blood well under the knife and wasn't sure if it was he or Kaname who had applied the pressure as the razor edge dragged out horizontally across the pureblood's chest, tracing a deep, bloody line paralleling his collarbone from neck to shoulder. Crimson drops oozed compellingly from the injury and continued to trail slowly down Kaname's skin. The pureblood's jaw tensed at the burning, tingling sensation which flooded from the cut as the fast-acting hunter poison spread instantly and ruthlessly through his body. The wound did not close. Kaname released Zero's hand.

"You see?" Kaname murmured as he absently licked the blood off his fingers. "I _am_ made of flesh and blood." His dark eyes were locked on the other. "And you can leave your mark on me, anytime. I'm yours, Zero."

_Was this it?_ Kaname wondered. Was it the outward signs of his pureblood heritage that made Zero doubt him so? Had it always bothered Zero that it was impossible to leave a lasting mark on him and he'd just never said anything? Maybe it was fair then, to bring them to the same level. He knew how very much he enjoyed marking Zero, sometimes _too_ much, at least according to the ex-human who had complained more than once about how hard the bites and bruises were to hide. Perhaps Kaname should have thought of something like this sooner.

A deep shudder ran through Zero's body. He was lost. Nothing in him could have resisted the look in Kaname's eyes or the deep appeal of his words.

_I'm yours. _

It was what he needed to hear, it was all that his torn, bleeding heart cared about at the moment. Somehow, despite all that remained unresolved between them, despite the lies and the hurt... Zero believed him. Kaname's gaze was too sincere, the obvious, bleeding proof of his words too concrete and tangible. Whatever else Kaname was lying to him about... this wasn't one of those things. How he felt about Zero was not a lie. Kaname would never have gone this far if he wasn't completely sincere.

With a choked sob, Zeros ducked his head to Kaname's shoulder, lapping hungrily but tenderly at the blood there and tracing the length of the wound. His tongue gently urged the bleeding to stop, numbing the area slightly, even if the wound would not heal. Kaname gasped softly at the warm feeling of his mouth and the unique sensation of it playing against unhealed flesh. He tangled his fingers in Zero's hair, holding him close and closing his eyes with a sigh of relief.

The knife fell from Zero's hand as he found better things to occupy his fingers, his hands roving across his lover's beautiful body. He let his pants fall away and stepped out of them, kicking off his shoes and pulling Kaname close, aching to feel him everywhere. He didn't know where his anger had gone, but it seemed to have bled away into insignificance. It was so like Kaname, to do something entirely unpredictable just when Zero thought he'd hit the end of his rope. To turn the strange, alien ugliness Zero felt like he carried inside into a weird kind of beauty by just accepting him. It was one of the things Zero loved about this man. He was so contradictorily earnest despite his manipulative streak, so wholehearted about anything he set his mind to. It really had been unfair of him to imply that he thought Kaname wasn't made of flesh and blood. He knew better than most how untrue that was. Zero could feel that inviting flesh under his fingers now and hear the blood hammering through the pureblood's beautiful veins as they kissed with crushing intensity.

The anger was gone, but the desire to hurt Kaname had morphed into something else entirely. Something perhaps slightly less dark, but no less intense. His body burned to return to what they were doing before and the thrill of knowing that Kaname was slightly less than invincible was quite delightful. Who knew if he'd ever be in a situation quite like this again? Ever have Kaname quite so unequivocally needy, vulnerable and willing? It was a rare gift to be savored. And this time, as Zero's hands slid over the graceful curves of that intoxicating body and felt Kaname shudder against him, he _did_ understand that it was a gift. A precious, priceless gift with which he was being entrusted. Kaname may not love him, but he must feel _something_ in order to offer himself up to his lover on any terms Zero desired, even going this far. The hunter wasn't sure he was mentally and physically capable of doing the same at this time, if positions had been reversed, and his fingers were almost reverent as they traced the pureblood's silky skin.

Zero's passionate kisses were achingly tender as his tongue swirled with Kaname's. He walked the pureblood backwards until they ran into the railing again. Kaname did not protest as he was hoisted back up, simply continuing to kiss and caress Zero's face, neck and shoulders with an intensity that was almost frightening. He didn't know if Diachi and Seiji were still down there, and he didn't care. To hell with the possible consequences. To hell with the rest of the world. He was a _person_, damn it! A person who had feelings, wants and desires that didn't stop just because his name was Kuran. If he wanted to give himself to his lover on his own balcony then he would damn well do it.

Kaname's knees curled around Zero's hips, pulling him close, letting their bodies rub together again as he half urged, half begged to be taken once more. Zero smiled with deep, genuine affection as he supported Kaname's shoulders, his body stilling unwillingly just before the point of entry. Kaname's lips were already bruised and attractively swollen from their passionate kissing. It was so unusual to see things like that on him, it made Zero's whole being thrum. Zero kissed those lips softly, his other hand sliding down to hook under Kaname's knee again. He looked questioningly at his lover. His whole body was screaming for him to just _move _already, but he knew Kaname was not accustomed to being as vulnerable as he now was. As much as Zero knew what he _wanted_ to do... he also knew Kaname wouldn't heal so rapidly this time.

He fought a grim, desperate battle with his vampiric urges, his chest heaving softly, his hand trembling against Kaname's thigh. "Please... stop me if I hurt you..." he rasped softly, urgently, knowing he could not trust his control much longer. He buried his face in Kaname's hair. "I don't ever want to hurt you..." he whispered, his body starting to shake in earnest. He couldn't let go, he couldn't allow himself this freedom unless he knew Kaname wouldn't let it go too far. Realistically, Kaname was no longer in any condition to stop Zero from doing anything he wanted, but Zero didn't realize that.

Kaname held Zero to him. He caressed the graceful line of his lover's neck with long fingers, brushing back the short silver hair and stroking his bite area, which was still obviously a little tender from the recent activity. His eyes stung softly. Every moment of every day, it seemed, Zero made the pureblood love him more. There was no one else on earth like this boy, Kaname was sure. No one who would be fighting so hard to not cause harm, even when it was beyond obvious how willing his partner was. He loved Zero's gentle protectiveness with every fiber of his being. Someday, he hoped, Zero could realize that that beautiful heart did not have to be at odds with his vampire nature.

"I promise," Kaname murmured back, his voice hoarse from emotion but silky with desire. He was well aware that he'd not physically be able to keep that promise, but that didn't matter, because there was nothing Zero could do to him that he didn't want right now. He nibbled and sucked on Zero's ear, tongue playing with his earrings. "Take me," he whispered in a tone like silk sheets sliding against skin. "I want you..." his fangs nipped at the velvety lobe of Zero's ear and the tender skin of his neck where it joined. "I want to feel you so deep it feels like you've gone through me..."

Kaname felt Zero's arousal twitch against his thigh at the purred words. He grinned deeply, a dark, delightful fire dancing invitingly in his eyes as he moved seductively against the hunter's body. "And don't you dare try to hold back, or I will beat the snot out of you next time we spar..." he threatened playfully. He wanted exactly what they'd been doing before. He wanted Zero to take him harder than sanity allowed; he wanted Zero to give his vampire nature free rein, to own the pureblood and know just how much Kaname considered himself his.

That confirmation of what his partner desired was all Zero needed. His eyes bottomed out to black and he shuddered against the other's body. It was not necessarily that he was losing control, but there was definitely no way in the world he could have stopped himself now. If Kaname regretted this later, then he'd just have to garner more of an appreciation for what it was like to be human, or at least to not be a pureblood. Although, realistically, there was no danger of hurting him much in the long run, the effects of the knife would wear off in a day or so.

"Well, can't have that..." Zero returned with a dark grin as he pushed Kaname back further on the edge. "Although... you might do well to consider your... _position_... before making threats..." he teased, fixing his lover with a smoldering look before he rocked his hips forward sharply, claiming Kaname's body without apology.

Kaname bit his lip as his back arched, muffling another silent cry of delight as he felt Zero's hardness filling him once more. He was already somewhat prepped from before, so it wasn't too bad, but Zero took Kaname at his word and took no mercy on his tight, delightful, barely lubed body. He plundered the pureblood rapidly, demandingly, piercing him to the core repeatedly with a fervor that could only have been accomplished by someone who'd drunk as much pure blood as Zero had. Kaname had made Zero unnaturally strong, and the pureblood reaped both the benefits and drawbacks of that now as Zero's hips pounded him hard enough to leave bruises on his backside.

Zero kissed and bit Kaname's shoulders and neck with intoxicated, mesmerized intensity. It was indescribable to see the marks remain, to be able to go back to a bruise or a bite and lavish it again with his tongue and teeth, to feel Kaname gasp and shudder in his arms as the bruised skin became increasingly sensitive until every touch made the pureblood want to scream from blissful overstimulation.

Kaname was in a delightfully twisted version of heaven. Nothing existed but the feeling of Zero's body against his, the connectedness that seemed to make them move as one. The lingering soreness of his body, of bruises and bites that didn't fade but compounded and compounded upon each other, not to mention the indescribable roughness with which he was being taken... it was a truly unique experience and he was nearly weeping from sheer delight. They were definitely going to have to do this again.

Kaname and Zero both had stamina far beyond what would be considered normal, but at this pace it wasn't too many minutes before Zero found himself toppling over the edge. His hand slid between Kaname's thighs, squeezing and pumping him relentlessly to ensure that the pureblood had no choice but to find release as well. Zero gasped raggedly, burying his face against Kaname's neck as pleasure engulfed him. Kaname followed a few moments later. He cried out, despite himself as the sheer depth of the incredible climax ripped through every fiber in his being. Zero quickly covered Kaname's mouth with his, muffling and swallowing his sounds of ecstasy in a deeply passionate kiss.

Kaname rested his hands on either side of him on the railing, half supporting both he and Zero as their straining bodies relaxed in trembling completion. Zero leaned against him, their rapidly beating hearts only just starting to slow as they rested together, exhausted in the afterglow.

Diachi, Seiji and Lin were long gone by now and the grounds were silent save for birdsongs and their own rapid breathing. Given the full exposure to the sun that the lawn was now receiving, the other purebloods had probably left before Kaname and Zero had come back to the balcony rail the second time. Kaname didn't think they'd seen or noticed anything, but just at the moment, he didn't really even care. He felt too incredibly sated and fulfilled. Zero moved slowly inside him, prolonging the lingering tingles of pleasure for them both and Kaname moaned softly, running his fingers through his lover's pale hair appreciatively.

If Zero wasn't careful, he was going to get Kaname going again. It never took much for him. The odd, lingering way he still throbbed inside, sensitive and sore from the forceful coupling, was already making his body take notice and Kaname was slowly hardening again against Zero's stomach, which his lover could no doubt feel.

Zero smiled lazily at Kaname's reaction and lifted his head from where it'd been resting against the other's chest. The pureblood really was hopeless. Once was almost never enough for him. Twice usually wasn't either. Not that Zero was complaining... especially when he wasn't on the receiving end. Languidly, his tongue traced a nice dark love bite he'd made on the top of Kaname's shoulder.

It was strangely beautiful and compelling, seeing his marks on Kaname's usually flawless skin. No wonder Kaname loved to leave him covered in bites and bruises. There was something deeply primal about the physical signs of passion and possession that turned up the heat on the lazy fire still circulating through his system. The ex-human's eyes had lost their wild, dangerous hue and returned to their normal color, but there was a rare, distinctly dark playfulness in them.

"Sore, much?" he inquired with a grin as he rocked his hips again, slowly. He knew it was impossible for Kaname _not_ to be after what they'd done and how intensely they'd done it.

Kaname gave him a playful glare, reckoning that Zero was enjoying this a little too much, although loving it all the same. "Not much," he lied with a careless, provocative smirk. His hands were resting on Zero's hips and he gave the other's backside a light smack. "I'd have thought you had more in you than _that_... Either you've been shirking your training or I'm not working you hard enough." The taunt was an open challenge and Zero accepted quite readily.

"Oh really?" He raised his eyebrow, his eyes flickering with playful danger before swiftly stepping back and pulling Kaname off the railing, only to turn him around and push him back down so the pureblood was bent over the top, his bruised backside presented invitingly. Kaname knew what Zero was doing and didn't fight, the hot tingle in his groin flaring back up to a real fire again as his lover pinned him in place and leaned over his back, hot mouth slowly tracing kisses along the graceful curve of Kaname's spine.

"Guess we'll have to keep working on it then, huh? What is it you like to tell me... _don't stop until you get it right_...?" he murmured wryly, throwing back a phrase that Kaname liked to taunt him with when they were sparring and Zero's energy started to run out. He nudged Kaname's feet farther apart, forcing his legs to spread. The hunter rubbed himself slowly and suggestively against his lover's backside.

Kaname half smirked, half glowered. Zero was definitely having way too much fun... and so was he. He couldn't tell anymore whether his skin was hot from embarrassment, the sun, or arousal. He probably should not enjoy this as much as he was, but it appealed to his masochistic side, which was obviously running at the fore today.

Vines suddenly snaked up the balcony railing and gently but very firmly twined around the pureblood's wrists, binding him to the balustrade. Kaname's head jerked up slightly as his stomach flip-flopped for the millionth time, a sweet, anxiously eager knot tightening in his gut.

Zero felt the slender body under him tremble in anticipation. There was no real need to restrain Kaname, but it was lovely to see him like this, and from the pureblood's reaction, Zero could tell he liked it. He kissed and rocked against his practically moaning lover until he was hard enough to penetrate him again in one deep thrust. Kaname gasped softly, fingers digging into the stone edge of the railing he was laid over, not quite prepared for what it felt like to be taken again when he was already so sensitive and raw. But he quickly thrust back against Zero, so there would be no mistaking that he wanted this. This position let Zero take him far deeper than before and Kaname trembled with the sensation and desire feeding through him. He groaned softly with each firm thrust, but he wanted more.

"Still have to do better..." Kaname taunted in a breathless murmur, eyes dancing as he delighted in goading his partner. He adored this darker and more playful side of his lover. This was such a novel experience and these were such unique, alien sensations from his unusually vulnerable body. His vampire endorphins were still fully engaged because he had already passed that threshold before he was injured by the hunter weapon. Mixed now with the strange, deep, raw ache of his slowed healing, the combination was wreaking strange and delightful havoc upon him.

Zero grinned in bemusement. He loved this infuriating, insatiable pureblood. He loved Kaname's passion and his playfulness, the way he could get so caught up and lost in pleasure he really was helpless and enough was never enough. He loved that Kaname could be overbearingly aggressive and dominating one minute and mind-blowingly seductive and submissive the next. He loved that Kaname had the strongest spirit he'd ever known, yet hid a deep, almost childish craving for affection and approval that he only ever allowed Zero to see... or to fill. He loved that Kaname had not let things end badly between them today and had instead somehow turned this into something unimaginable. _Yes... there it was again, the twisted, hopeless, beautiful truth that he could no longer deny. That he no longer __**wanted **__to deny. He was in love with a pureblood vampire._

Kaname gave an impatient little jerk, tugging at the vines around his wrists and pushing back demandingly against Zero.

Zero's smile deepened. _A very cheeky pureblood vampire who was currently asking for a nice little lesson in why it might not be a great idea to keep goading your partner when it was figuratively and literally your ass on the line. _

Zero gave Kaname's backside a playful but none-too-gentle smack with his hand. Gripping the pureblood's hips he upped his rhythm forcefully, taking Kaname at the ruthless, punishing pace his lover obviously craved and delighting in the way the pureblood went crazy under his touch, groaning and bucking back against him like a lithe, live wire.

Zero intended to last longer this time and make sure Kaname got everything he wanted and then some. He leaned over the pureblood's back, hooking one hand under his lover's shoulder for purchase, in order to be able to take him harder, the other sliding under Kaname's chin and pulling his head back so he could captures his lips in a contradictorily sweet kiss, savoring the taste of each little cry and moan of pleasure and pain that he rung from that bruised, intoxicating mouth.

"Take it easy, Kaname," Zero breathed against his lover's lips. "You're not in the body you're used to. Keep pushing and you're not going to want to get out of bed until your healing kicks back in, trust me..." he warned breathlessly, groaning softly as he bucked hard into the intense velvet heat gripping him. He didn't think Kaname knew what he was getting himself into. The other vampire probably did not truly understand how hard it could be for Zero to move or how much he needed the blood that Kaname always gave him freely after being made love to for hours by a beautifully over-amorous pureblood.

Kaname shivered responsively under Zero. "I can think of a lot of delightful things to do while in bed..." he rejoindered in a husky, inviting tone made breathless by the force with which he was being smacked against the railing.

Zero bowed his head against the back of Kaname's shoulder with a soft, almost agonized groan. Yes, he bet Kaname could. The pureblood knew how to shake his world to the core with pleasure better than anyone else.

"Just... don't stop..." Kaname groaned through his teeth as Zero's fist curled around his arousal, engulfing his world in another layer of fiery ecstasy. "I want you... I want you until I can't think anymore... promise me you won't leave..." he begged and somehow, both of them knew he meant more than just in this situation.

Zero kissed him deeply, stroking his lover's arousal with one hand and his cheek with the other as he leaned over his back, supporting Kaname's head which he still held twisted towards him. "I won't leave. I'm right here, Kaname," he murmured back huskily. "I'm not going anywhere." He gasped softly as his pounding pulse began to quicken and spiral. "And neither are you... not until I'm done with you, my dear pureblood..." he added, making Kaname smile.

Zero kept his promise very thoroughly. The two lovers lost themselves in a delicious carnal haze that ceased to keep any track of time or place. All that mattered was each other. They made love on the balcony, on the balcony floor, on the bedroom floor, and finally on Kaname's lush, sprawling bed – a number of times – until both of them could barely move.

It was already early afternoon by the time Zero finally collapsed onto Kaname's back, way beyond exhausted, his fingers still curled around Kaname's wrists where he'd been holding the pureblood down. Kaname was so incredibly sensitive by now that he couldn't hold still, bucking and squirming with every deep thrust and screaming so much he was hoarse from ecstasy. But it was completely his fault they'd kept going this long, and the pureblood left Zero in no doubt at any time that he was entirely enjoying every moment of their somewhat brutal sensual overindulgence.

Zero slowly uncurled his aching fingers from Kaname's deeply bruised wrists and trailed his finger softly, tenderly across his lover's shoulder, too exhausted to move off of him just yet. Right at the moment, he felt like he might never move again. He was so exhausted, sated and drained that there was simply no description for it. It never ceased to amaze him that they could keep going like this. Zero had no sexual experience outside of the pureblood, but he kind of figured it couldn't possibly be normal. But then again, considering what he was, and who his partner was, _normal _was pretty relative. In any case, this was one of those things about being a vampire that definitely wasn't so bad.

"Kaname... I'm so tired I can't even blink..." he murmured, voice almost slurring from weariness. "If you still think I've left you lacking, we'll have to schedule a rematch." He nuzzled his face comfortably against the back of Kaname's neck and inhaled the other's scent slowly, contentedly.

Kaname groaned softly and gave a faint chuckle. He was more deeply sated than he'd ever felt. He felt so complete he ached from the fullness of it. Of course... that wasn't the only thing that ached. Everything seemed to be on fire, and it wasn't the aroused kind anymore. Now that his passion had finally been met and his body was cooling down from its fever pitch, the pain of what he'd put himself through was making itself known as, well... _pain_. A rather lot of it.

That was... weird. Unusual. Kaname was used to pain that lasted long enough to be pleasurable and then conveniently disappeared by the time the heat of the moment was over. The sensations he was feeling now weren't acting like they were in danger of going anywhere anytime soon and that wasn't an especially pleasant thought, but if he had it to do all over again, Kaname wouldn't do a single thing different.

"No, no... I think that was quite... _sufficient_..." the pureblood said wryly, voice slightly muffled by the pillows his face was resting against. His fingers knotted lightly in the sheets as he lay beneath Zero, concentrating on breathing slowly. "Although I may take you up on the rematch anyway... one day... a _long_ time from now..." he added ruefully.

Zero snorted softly. He could imagine, at least in part, how Kaname must be feeling right now. Kaname had left him aching pretty badly a number of times, especially early on in their relationship, before the pureblood got it through his head that Zero physically couldn't take as much as he could, but today had been way beyond normal for both of them. He rather suspected Kaname wouldn't have been able to imagine it if he wasn't experiencing it.

"Oh so _now_ you're finally sore, huh?" Zero chuckled softly, carefully rolling off Kaname at last and spooning up behind him, cradling the pureblood tenderly in his arms. The ex-human winced slightly as he settled. Kaname's fangs and claws had left their mark on him too in a most avid fashion. His back and sides stung with the healing cuts his lover's nails had inflicted during their passion, but fortunately he still had his vampire healing going for him and they would fade soon enough.

Kaname rolled carefully onto his side as Zero shifted, snuggling back against the other. Zero knew that Kaname liked to cuddle after sex, and he'd come to enjoy the same. It was kinda... sweet. He kissed his lover's shoulder lightly. "I _did _try to warn you. Think you finally bit off more than you could chew?"

"I think it was _you_ doing most of the biting in point of fact..." Kaname pointed out with amusement. "And I have the bruises to prove it. But yeah, you could probably say that," he admitted with a resigned grimace. "_God..._ I hurt..." he murmured ruefully. He chuckled and it was almost a half little sob that he hadn't intended. Emotionally, he felt great. Physically... he was kinda hoping his healing kicked back in soon. _Really_ soon. It wasn't that it was _too_ very terrible... but Kaname simply wasn't used to being in pain. He had a very high threshold for having pain inflicted, but lingering pain was a different beast all together. It wasn't something he usually had to deal with.

"Yeah, I bet..." Zero's smile faded. Maybe he was a little _too_ used to Kaname's invulnerability. Seriously... he knew how Kaname was capable of being when it came to pleasure – total reckless abandon. It was probably the only area in his life where the very cool and pragmatic pureblood was like that. Of course, maybe that was in fact _why _he was like that in that... he was so tightly controlled in every other aspect of his life; it could be that this was his one unguarded outlet.

Guilt and concern started to twine swiftly around the hunter's heart. He was the more experienced one on this side of things, he shouldn't have let Kaname goad him into being so rough, he should have been the voice of reason slowing things up so that his lover didn't end up quite this bad off afterwards. Zero frowned, suddenly noticing something else as he gazed at the pureblood's flushed back. It wasn't just flushed... _uh oh..._

He pressed his fingertips lightly against Kaname's unnaturally reddened skin and the pureblood flinched. The fingerprints left behind a pale impression that lingered for a few moments before fading back to the same rosy color the rest of the pureblood's overly-rosy skin.

"Um... Kaname... you've, uh... I think you've got a sunburn," he observed slowly. It was a pretty nasty one too from the looks of it. He'd thought Kaname's skin was merely flushed from their passion, but now that he stopped to examine it closely, it was obvious that what he had mistaken for a flush was in fact the first signs of a flaming sunburn that was beginning to show itself. Kaname's body was practically radiating heat as he held him. _Crap..._ how had Kaname stood doing what they were doing with his skin this badly burned? Zero couldn't believe he hadn't even noticed it until now. Apparently Kaname wasn't the only one who could lose it a little when high on pleasure. Guilt dug its claws even deeper into the hunter.

"Yes. I know," Kaname responded with a tone that suggested it had been accompanied by an eye roll. _Your knack for stating the obvious remains unparalleled I see_ was the obvious unspoken message.

"That's what happens when you force a vampire to be butt naked in broad daylight for hours..." he muttered, although to his credit he still sounded tiredly amused and was remaining good natured despite his own discomfort. Kaname would have burned from the exposure even without having his healing ability taken away. With that added on top... well, there was a reason he was staying very, very still on the soft sheets as he lay beside Zero. The reason being that moving was swiftly becoming hideously painful. He'd been aware of the burn for a while now, ever since it had started truly settling in. However, when his endorphins were up, when his and Zero's pheromones were in play – mixing together like an exotic cocktail, and his sex drive was in full gear then _every_ stimulus, even this kind, really did turn into complete pleasure for him. It was part of pureblood physiology and perhaps a survival mechanism from ages past, given the naturally brutal natures of vampire kind in general. When Kaname was in heat, you could have put red hot nails through his hands and it would have felt good. Now, however, _after_ the fact... not so much.

Zero chuckled despite himself at the pureblood's words. It was just the _way_ that Kaname had said it. He gave Kaname a little squeeze before realizing that was a mistake. Kaname didn't flinch this time but he remained very still. Zero knew that this was one area in which he actually had an advantage over the pureblood. Zero hadn't been born a vampire, so the sun did not affect him as severely as it did some vampires. He wasn't fond of heat, and had become less tolerant of direct sunlight in his eyes since he'd started drinking Kaname's blood. He was also prone to sunstroke if he exerted himself too much in broad daylight. However, since he'd also been – as Kaname had so delicately put it – _butt naked_ and outside most of the day himself, and he wasn't at all burned... his skin was obviously not nearly as delicate in this particular manner as the pureblood's.

"I'm sorry," Zero whispered softly, and he meant it. He should have been more considerate. He should have realized what the sun would do to Kaname. He was moving well past guilt now and on to feeling truly terrible.

Carefully, slowly, Kaname rolled over to face Zero. He cupped his cheek lightly, his long thumb brushing Zero's cheekbone. "Don't be. I could have said something," he said quietly. "I didn't want to. I'll be fine in a while. You should enjoy admiring your handiwork while you can, before it fades," he said with a grin that was part smirk. Kaname glanced down at himself, amused at the multitude of bites and bruises adorning his skin. It looked like he'd been on the losing side of a fight. "I had no idea you had such a thorough job in mind when you said you wanted to mark me," he teased his lover with a playful twinkle in his exhausted eyes. "Did you enjoy it?" He wanted to draw Zero's mind away from the obvious guilt that was trying to eat at him. Kaname didn't want that. He'd asked for this and he wasn't sorry, no matter how he felt now. Besides... Kaname had seen a fledgling glimpse of Zero's vampire side on the surface today, driving the boy to give into his more primal desires, and the pureblood wanted to foster that. Wanted Zero to be able to accept and embrace all parts of himself without self recrimination.

Zero wasn't letting it go that easy. He swallowed, suddenly embarrassed to look at what he'd done to the pureblood's beautiful body. Yes... he'd enjoyed it so much there weren't words to describe it. Seeing the marks still turned him on, if there'd been anything left to turn on... but he suddenly wondered what the hell was wrong with him that he could take so much pleasure in his partner's pain. It had been exquisite – fingers and fangs digging into flesh, hearing Kaname scream... Zero felt confused and sick with himself. How could he do this to someone he loved?

"Yes," he whispered softly, guiltily, his fingers lightly reaching out to brush a bruise on the side of Kaname's neck. "I did. I'm so, _so_ sorry, Kaname, really I am. I don't know what's wrong with me, why I acted like that..." his throat choked closed.

"Shh, shh..." Kaname leaned forward and brushed a kiss against Zero's lips, despite the discomfort of moving. His thumb stroked Zero's cheek comfortingly. "It's because you're a vampire, and so am I, and sometimes, we have needs that others cannot understand," he murmured tenderly. "There's nothing wrong with you. I really enjoyed seeing this side of you, Zero. Do I look like I feel sorry about it?" he inquired with a soft smile. "And no, I didn't ask you if I _looked_ _sorry_," he teased mildly, trying to coax a smile from his lover. "Anyway, I'm not. I'd do it again. Just... not too soon." He quirked another grin and this time managed to get a hesitant responding smile from Zero.

Zero wasn't sure he'd ever understand the pureblood. He'd practically torn his lover apart, and Kaname swore he liked it. Maybe he was right about them being different. _Them _no_... us..._ It was _us_ wasn't it? He kept thinking of vampires as 'them' including Kaname, but somehow not himself. But he was one, wasn't he? Funny how that just didn't evoke as much disgust and loathing in him as it once had. It was a fact. One he didn't have to like perhaps, but one that he was finding less cause to hate the longer he was with the pureblood.

"Master Yagari said I was an idiot," he murmured faintly, turning his head into Kaname's hand and closing his eyes. "He's probably right, but I don't mind. You're worth being an idiot over." The confession was soft and husky, but obviously deeply heartfelt.

Kaname's heart throbbed softly with the gentle warmth of those words. He kissed his lover's brow tenderly, feeling his insides twist again at the thought of what ridicule Zero must have had to face from his own Sensei. "I'm so sorry about what happened with him, Zero," he whispered back. "Maybe he just needs some time to get over the surprise," he tried to encourage.

Zero's expression as his eyes opened again was dubious. "I doubt it. I don't think he could trust me again," he admitted, the pain of that evident in his eyes. The loss of that relationship was obviously still very raw for him.

_Trust... _

Kaname felt guilty. For being the reason Zero and Yagari quarreled... and because Zero wasn't the only one who'd been keeping things from someone they cared about...

Kaname closed his eyes. _Not now... not now... you couldn't take it if he walked away from you like this, when you're already so weak. You know you couldn't... _The pureblood's heart thudded nauseatingly, but he resisted the soft, panicked voices in his head. They sounded logical... but so had every single excuse he'd come up with before for keeping silent. There was never going to be the _right time _and it was only going to get worse the longer he delayed.

"Zero, I... I need to talk to you about something..." he whispered slowly, hesitantly opening his eyes and fixing his gaze on his lover with more than a little trepidation.

Zero could feel Kaname's heart pounding unnaturally fast as they lay curled together and he looked at his lover curiously. If he didn't know better, he'd think Kaname was _afraid. _

"It's about Yuki," Kaname murmured, pressing on before he could chicken out again.

Zero felt the all too familiar empty kick in his gut at the sound of her name and he breathed carefully around a chest that felt too tight. Yet at least... at least he didn't feel like he was going to break into a million pieces just thinking of her, that was something. He now had a feeling he knew where this was going.

Kaname tried not to feel unnerved by Zero's lack of response and continued. "These past months, I've been exerting a lot of effort trying to find out more information about the illness that killed her. It was not a natural pathogen; it was man-made and fairly unique. I have been trying to track down who made it, who targeted her, and why. It's... it's been slow going, the trail is well covered, but there's been some progress here and there. Later, I would like to go over all the details with you, if - if you want to. Actually, this is why I've been fostering such close relations with the Satos," he admitted, his voice lowering slightly, as it became inevitable to admit that he had lied about it not only by omission, but actively as well. "Diachi is well connected in the pharmaceutical research and development communities. I need his resources, and he sees it as an opportunity to be on a good footing to leverage other business arrangements with me. This is actually what they were here for today. I... I meant to tell you this morning..." Kaname closed his eyes, swallowing hard.

Zero regarded the pureblood silently for a moment. He already knew some of this, of course, but he had to admit that it was important to him that Kaname was telling him without being confronted about it. Hurt throbbed dully in his chest, but surprisingly he found that his anger over it had all disappeared. How could he be angry when Kaname looked so miserable and hesitant?

He remembered once, Yuki had told him that even if Kaname betrayed her she would be okay with that. At the time, he'd thought her slightly insane, but he understood now... because he found he felt the same. Not that it didn't still hurt, but he could try to understand, and he could forgive. Because that's what you did when... when you loved someone.

"I see. And you didn't think this was something that concerned me? Or you just didn't you trust me?" the soft whisper was sad, but not angry or surprised.

The sorrow in the tone though was worse than anything else could have been and Kaname's heart throbbed in pain. He didn't know why always seemed to mess up with Zero. He was used to living his life a certain way and answering to no one, but now...

"No, that's not it, Zero! I just... I... I should have told you before, I'm sorry," Kaname whispered softly, knowing he had no excuse.

"Yes, you should have," Zero's voice was quiet, but even.

Kaname flinched slightly, his gaze fixed on the mattress between them. He was physically weak and wrung out right now, and that seemed to thin and lower his emotional buffers as well.

"But I think I understand why you didn't," Zero continued, voice still quiet, but gentler now. The realization had come softly to him sometime during the day's events. His hand cupped Kaname's flushed cheek, making the pureblood's eyes dart up towards him in surprise.

The shock in the pureblood's gaze was clear. As was the aching depth of emotion and the vividly clear yearning for forgiveness and affection that burned so unusually bright in the dark garnet eyes.

That look actually made Zero's heart catch in his chest, his gaze softening in surprise of his own. There was a part of Kaname that was always guarded, hidden behind his naturally controlling and compelling nature... but he wasn't guarded now. There was something so vulnerably raw in his gaze... something that pleaded so desperately for acceptance and understanding that Zero felt his throat tighten and his chest ache in response.

Looking in those eyes, Zero knew that this truly wasn't an issue of how much the pureblood did or didn't trust him. Kaname kept his secrets because he was so used to walking alone. That was it, wasn't it? Because he'd never had anyone it was _safe_ to entrust them with. Old habits died hard... for them both.

"You thought it would be too much for me. Every time you've dealt with the Satos... you're always so sad afterwards, and I didn't know why. It hurt you to deal with her death, so being the _genius _that you are, you decided that it was a burden you needed to carry all alone, am I right?" he whispered.

Kaname looked at Zero, hesitant and somewhat stunned at being understood so thoroughly. That was not something he had expected. Anger, moodiness, hurt, mistrust... those were the reactions he had expected. Not this... this... unimaginable understanding and forgiveness. His fingers lightly covered Zero's. He was awed by the softness in his lover's eyes and he gave a small, slow nod. "Yes," he whispered. "I know it wasn't the right approach, but you were hurting so desperately, and I thought, if there was any way I could spare you a little... I didn't want you to have to hurt anymore."

Zero stroked Kaname's cheek gently, feeling the aching lump in his throat swell a little larger. If he'd had any lingering ill feelings over the matter, they would have completely dissolved under the pureblood's earnest gaze. "But I _was _hurting, Kaname. Just because we don't talk about it, doesn't mean that Yuki's death doesn't... doesn't still kill me inside," he whispered, tears rising unbidden to his eyes despite his best efforts. "And when I see you hurting and I don't know why, when you keep secrets and lie to me like you don't trust me... that hurts me deeply too."

"It wasn't that I didn't trust you," Kaname assured again quickly with a soft note of anguish. "That was never..."

Zero touched Kaname's lips lightly with his finger to hush him. He shook his head. "I know, I get that _now._ I just meant..." he searched somewhat haltingly for words. "Please don't hide from me. You carry your pain all alone, and it makes me feel like I can't reach you, or like you don't want me to reach you." His finger traced Kaname's jaw gently and he gave a soft, rueful sigh. The fact was... he realized now that he had done no different. Had _he _ever tried to talk to Kaname about Yuki? Had he ever felt like he could share the hurt inside him with anyone else? Maybe Kaname would have opened up with him if he'd ever broached the matter himself. "And I'm sorry. I know I've done the same," he murmured.

Kaname's hand slid up and curled tightly around Zero's. He didn't know what to say. "You already knew," he whispered, seeing that truth in Zero's eyes. He'd obviously already been thinking about all of this, before the pureblood's confession.

Zero nodded faintly. "Seiji told me," he admitted softly.

Kaname pressed his eyes shut with a soft exhale of pain. "Oh God, Zero... I'm sorry... you should _not _have had to hear it from _him._"

"It doesn't matter," Zero murmured. It did... or at least, it _had. _But now... now it no longer felt so important. Close to Kaname like this, Zero knew that it didn't matter in the long run. Kaname was Kaname. He would never really change. He was a pureblood vampire. He was born to rule and to control. He was strong willed and would always do whatever he thought best. But he had made a place in his life for Zero. Kaname wanted him enough to try to change, to try to figure out how to merge two such stubborn and strong willed individuals into a life they could share without sacrificing their individuality.

Zero could do no less. He knew that part of that was being willing to give a little sometimes, to make allowances and move on. It was the only way things could ever hope to work between them. And he wanted them to work... from the bottom of his heart, he did.

Leaning forward, he brushed warm, gentle lips across Kaname's, kissing him softly and tenderly.

Kaname's eyes fluttered open, glistening with tears of surprise, awe and adoration he didn't try to hide. He didn't know how Zero could forgive him like this, especially given the manner of how he'd found out and whatever cruel and malicious things Seiji had undoubtedly said. He knew if the situation was reversed he would have been hurt and furious... but he needed Zero's care and forgiveness right now. He needed it so much it burned in his heart and overflowed as soft tears down his cheeks as he kissed Zero back with tender, intense affection, arm curling around Zero's back, fingers tangling in his hair despite the pain of moving the sunburned limbs. He needed... he needed Zero to _love_ him. It could never be, but at moments like this, it felt like he did, and at least Kaname knew he cared. It would have to be enough. Just so Zero stayed close to him always, so the pureblood could love him silently with every beat of his heart, even if the feeling was never returned in quite the same way.

Kaname knew now, that all he really needed in this life was that which was currently in his arms. He would do anything for this boy. If Zero demanded it, he would renounce the rest of the world and let them all go to hell.

Zero kissed him back softly, intently, tenderly.

"What do you miss most about her?" Kaname whispered softly after a minute or two, when he was again resting with his head on the pillow, facing Zero. It was difficult for him to ask, and yet it was freeing too.

Zero swallowed, fingers trailing absently through Kaname's hair. "I don't know. Maybe the way she could never get math problems right or the way she was always... always dragging me around and driving me crazy," he closed his eyes, a silent tear burning down his cheek. "Her beautiful, caring, tender nature..." His heart ached, but he found that strangely enough, he _wanted _to talk about it. He wanted to share his precious memories with someone who understood and would treasure them also. He wanted to share his pain... and to share in Kaname's. "What about you?"

Kaname kissed the tear on Zero's cheek softly. "So many things. Like the way she would run up and hug me when she was a little girl. She was the only one who wasn't too afraid or too respectful to just... touch me. Her smile, her laugh, the way her soul seemed to dance in her eyes..."

"Yeah," Zero murmured hoarsely. "I miss that too." He smiled softly through his tears. "I don't miss her cooking though. Really, she was almost as bad in the kitchen as you are."

Kaname gave a soft, pained chuckle. "Hey, I take exception to that... and you should be glad you didn't have to pretend to love her special recipes when she was seven and first discovered the 'joys' of the kitchen. Garlic and chocolate were never meant to come together in this universe, trust me."

Despite himself, Zero laughed softly. They talked for a little while, tears and laughter interspersed and it seemed somehow, that the ache lightened a little in the sharing. Perhaps the wounds would never truly disappear, but the agony eased under the gentle salve of companionship and understanding.

They were both emotionally and physically exhausted, but after a while Zero finally rolled out of bed with a stiff wince and went off to find something for Kaname's sunburn. The pureblood hadn't said anything, but his skin was still livid and Zero could see the pain etched in his stillness and subtle winces. He could tell it must really hurt, no matter how good Kaname was at trying to hide it.

Kaname couldn't move, or at least, he didn't want to. Just bending and unbending his arms made his skin feel like it was ten times too tight and covered in napalm. So he remained where he was on the bed until Zero returned. He was so tired he might have drifted off to sleep if he didn't hurt so badly.

He winced as the bed sank when Zero climbed back on. He opened his eyes and saw that his lover was wearing a robe now.

"I found I found after-sun lotion," the ex-human said, brandishing a bottle of aloe-vera with a mild topical analgesic. "You would be surprised at the variety of things Seiren apparently keeps on hand," he added wryly as he squirted a generous amount into his hand.

"No, I wouldn't," Kaname replied, watching Zero somewhat warily. "You didn't tell her what it was for...?"

Zero rolled his eyes. Get _that _protective bloodhound worried about Kaname's state of health? Not likely. "No, I'd like to stay alive thank-you-very-much. She thought it was for me. Roll onto your stomach."

Hesitantly, Kaname obeyed, rolling onto his stomach with a grimace so Zero could treat his back first. His body tensed and he gritted his teeth, unable to stifle a yelp as Zero spread the cold cream onto the back of his shoulder. His fingers curled into the sheets urgently and Zero paused in deep concern.

"Cold..." Kaname croaked softly, trying and failing to regain his composure and not claw a hole in the mattress. "It's, um... cold." He was speaking through clenched teeth, in obvious pain.

Zero seemed nonplussed for a moment, but finally he went into the bathroom and soaked the plastic bottle in hot water for a little while until it felt warm in his hand, then he brought it back in. He rubbed the pale cream around between his palms to try to further warm it up before carefully attempting to apply it to his lover's sunburn again.

Kaname still winced and groaned as the lotion was spread across his fevered skin, but although it still felt cool against his hot body, it was a little better than before. Zero smoothed it on as gently as he could, fingers sliding slowly over the muscled planes of his lover's back, shoulders and hips. He tried to be careful of the bites and bruises as well as the sunburned flesh.

Although it hurt like heck going on, presently the cream began to do its job and Kaname felt a small bit of relief from the hot, dry pain of the burn. With Zero's help he turned over onto his back in order to allow the ex-human to reach his front next. Although it was just as painful and his lotion covered back was now sticking uncomfortably to the silk sheets, this position was better because he could see Zero while he worked. His gaze lingered on the boy's smooth, intent features as he bent to his task with the careful deliberation one might apply to polishing a priceless, fragile artifact. Kaname liked the way Zero's short silver hair fell in his face when he bent forward, and the unconscious way he worried his moist, flushed lower lip with his teeth when he was concentrating.

Zero became aware of Kaname's intense, enraptured gaze and ducked his head a little, pale cheeks coloring just a tad. His fingers moved gently down Kaname's thighs and legs as he continued to apply the salve. At least the inside of Kaname's thighs weren't burned, but the outsides were and the ex-human was as careful as possible.

"So... why did you call me back?" He asked softly as he finished up, partially to distract himself and partially to distract Kaname, whom he knew was suffering silently. "Earlier, I mean, when I was going to leave? I was trying to make you angry," he admitted. "I was afraid I was losing it and wanted you to push me away. Why didn't you?" Maybe he shouldn't have asked, but conversation had been flowing so freely for them this past little while, he found himself voicing the question before he could second guess himself. If Kaname had merely been too aroused and keyed up to let the matter drop, he could understand that. Yet some part of him wondered if there was more to it... not that it was very likely Kaname would tell him if there was.

"I..." Kaname hesitated, the unexpended question catching him off guard and at a loss for a safe answer. A million excuses whirled through his mind, but... he couldn't bring himself to lie. Not now, not after all they had just shared. "I..." but it was hard to say and he didn't know how. _Dare he? He would trust Zero with his life... could he trust him with his heart? Trust him enough to say the words that frightened him the most and hope to not be judged or scorned for them? _

Zero could see the question was hard for Kaname to answer and he didn't want to cause him anymore discomfort today. He hadn't realized it would be a difficult topic. "Never mind, it doesn't matter, forget it," he dismissed his own question quickly, dipping his head down and brushing a light kiss against Kaname's lips as he wiped the excess lotion off his hands on a towel he'd brought from the bathroom.

Kaname closed his eyes and swallowed, the warmth of Zero's lips lingering on his even after they withdrew. The pureblood's heart ached with emotion. Even after hours of lovemaking, he felt the urge to pull Zero back for another kiss, to just... to just savor the soft, intimate contact of their lips caressing. Kaname hadn't been fully aware of how desperate he had been for this small, seemingly insignificant gesture of affection and tenderness until today when Zero broke the long standing taboo between them.

Zero carefully pulled the sheet partially up over Kaname's naked body, covering him to the waist and trying to settle it lightly so it wouldn't stick too badly to the lotion.

"I didn't want to lose you," the pureblood answered honestly, voice barely a whisper. The question had been asked, it deserved an answer. Maybe... maybe it was better if Zero knew, even if it freaked him out or disgusted him. Deep down, Kaname knew he could trust Zero. Maybe, if Zero knew... at least he would understand why Kaname acted the way he did. "I was afraid that if you left, you wouldn't come back, and I couldn't live if that happened."

Of all the answers possible, Zero had not expected that one. Yet... he realized it was the one he'd been hoping for. "You... couldn't?" he breathed softly, feeling like his heart had stopped beating as he gazed across at Kaname. "Why?"

Kaname's eyes stayed shut. Damn... this was embarrassing... and yet... he ached to unburden himself of the secret. He was so exhausted and run out that he just didn't have the strength to fight. He was already completely vulnerable to Zero, what was one more admission?

"Because I need you. Because I... love you," he murmured, turning his face to the side against the pillow and breathing raggedly. Great way to set himself up to get emotionally kicked when he already physically felt like crap... but he'd wanted so badly to tell. He instantly wished he could pull it back however. The words had tumbled out almost on their own and the pureblood was suddenly frightened. What was he thinking? Zero was going to laugh at him... or worse – run away, now, when Kaname was in no physical shape to stop him. It was stupid, insane, Kaname _knew_ that, he knew...

"I love you too."

The soft words knifed through Kaname's thoughts and his eyes sprang open, head coming back up out of the pillow as he looked at Zero in shock.

The hunter was staring at him in a mixture of awe and surprise that mirrored his own. There were tears swimming in the amethyst eyes. Zero had never expected Kaname to say something like that. That he needed him, sure, but he _loved_ him? He'd never thought Kaname could feel that way about him. Never expected to hear those words that he only realized now he had ached to hear for a long time.

His own, instant reply had shocked Zero nearly as much, but it had just come automatically, as if it'd been bursting to come out forever. He'd just been too afraid to admit it to anyone, even himself, and least of all Kaname. Apparently... Kaname had been feeling the same way.

Kaname forgot to breathe. Time had stopped and he was just staring at Zero, as if wondering if he was dreaming and desperately hoping he wasn't. He realized he was crying only because his vision was blurry and he felt wetness on his cheeks. How long had he dreamed of hearing Zero say that? How long had he thought he would only ever hear it in his dreams?

"W-what?" he murmured hoarsely, as if he couldn't quite believe it, as if he was half afraid he had fallen asleep while Zero was tending him and he would wake any moment to find this an illusion.

"I love you, you stupid, unpredictable, amazing pain in the butt," Zero's voice rasped and shook slightly as if with a sob as the tears in his eyes escaped down his cheeks. He smiled at Kaname through the tears. "What do you _think _I said?"

_That _declaration was too uniquely Zero to be part of any dream. Kaname half laughed, half choked on the incredible mountain sized lump in his throat. Completely heedless of his sunburn, he sat up wrapped his arms around Zero, pulling him into a tearful, passionate kiss.

"Oh, God, Zero... I love you..." he whispered hoarsely into their kiss, their tears mingling together and flavoring the kiss lightly with salt. "I have for so long... I was so afraid you'd think I was a freak if I told you." Kaname's heart felt so light, he felt like there was this unstoppable well of joy bubbling up inside him like a geyser. He didn't know what to do with himself. He wanted to laugh, to cry, to kiss Zero until the end of time...

Zero held Kaname as tightly as he could while still trying to be gentle with his burn, kissing him back with tender fierceness. He didn't know he could feel this happy. It was such an intense emotion it almost hurt, but it was a beautiful, _beautiful_ pain. "You are a freak," he murmured with a shaky, wry, radiant grin. "But apparently so am I, and I love that about you. I love everything about you. I-I never thought you could love someone like me." It was such a freedom to just say it. To find the feeling returned... Zero found himself crying and laughing at the same time.

Kaname seemed similarly torn between tears and mirth. He stroked Zero's cheek as they gazed at each other in rapturous delight and wonder. "You mean someone so strong, so selfless, so beautiful and caring?"

Zero grinned, ducking his head self-consciously. He really didn't see what Kaname saw in him, but it meant the world to him that the other thought so. When Kaname said it, he could almost believe it. "I was thinking more along the lines of yet one more besotted soul who adored you hopelessly. I know you get that from a lot of people. Everyone loves you, and I can't blame them. How could anyone not?" He kissed Kaname softly, reverently. "You're a very special person, Kaname. But you're... you're _more _than special to me." _You mean everything to me. _Zero didn't know how to find the words to say exactly what was in his heart, but his eyes said it, and he hoped Kaname could understand.

Kaname did. "People respect me and fear me, they don't love me," he murmured. "I have some dear friends who I know really do care, but you're the only one I want to love me. The only one _I _love." His lips brushed Zero's lightly. "Always."

"Always..." Zero murmured back. Fingers tangled in hair and kisses were exchanged in rapturous, giddy delight. It was too perfectly ridiculous and too perfectly wonderful.

"We are so pathetic, you realize that..." Kaname chuckled, his eyes sparkling with sheer enchantment as he finally settled back against the pillows, looking at Zero, who was not disgusted nor freaked out... who... remarkably, felt the same way he did. Perhaps fate was not as cruel as he had always supposed.

"_You're_ pathetic, I'm ambitious," Zero retorted with a grin. It was unbelievable how light his heart felt, and that twinkle in Kaname's gaze... he'd not seen those gorgeous eyes look so _alive_ in a long, long time. "I'm not the one who fell for a flunky, after all. _I_ have much better taste than that."

Kaname laughed again, despite how that movement made everything hurt. "Gold digger," he teased, finger lightly tracing Zero's beautiful, delightful lips and then down his jaw and neck. "But you are _not_ a flunky. I won't have you insulting my taste."

Zero laughed softly. "Oh, right, heaven forbid that _your _taste should be brought into question..."

Kaname grabbed the front of Zero's robe and tugged him down close with a deep, deep grin. "Zero? Shut up and kiss me again..."

Still chuckling from the sheer joy in his heart, Zero did.


	30. We'll Always Be Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _A/N: After thirty chapters, almost 400 pages and 9 months, we finally reach the end of this story. :) Thank you so much to everyone who has shared this journey with me. Each and every one of you have helped keep the story going and made this a truly delightful experience. As a fun, silly little side note, if you look at the chapters in the dropdown menu, you'll notice that you can read the titles almost like loose prose that somewhat sums up the story. Well, whether or not it reads that way, that was my intention anyway. ;) Thank you to YenGirl for inspiring some of the details of the Yagari / Zero / Kaname confrontation and to Sagakure for being so delighted about the idea that it made me want to extend the scene a little. ;D You both have been sheer inspiration to me this whole story. *hugs*_

**Chapter Thirty: "We'll Always Be Together"**

Zero watched the shadows shifting on the ceiling above Kaname's bed. He'd slept most of the day and through the evening. His rest had been deep and contented and he felt refreshed. He'd been awake for almost a half an hour now, but he lay still so as not to disturb the brunette head pillowed on his arm. Beside the hunter, his pureblood lover slept on.

Kaname was lying on his back, arms at his sides, his head resting in the crook of Zero's elbow. The position was slightly stiff and unnatural compared to the way Zero was used to seeing Kaname when in repose. The pureblood had not stirred since Zero had awoken, and despite the dim light, he could tell that Kaname's skin was still flushed with sunburn, the bruises and bites on his body as clear now as they had been hours ago.

Zero frowned softly. The effects of the anti-vampire weapon should have started to dull by now and the marks should have faded at least a _little. _But he realized that that was not taking into account the additional effects of the pureblood's sun exposure. Even at full strength, the severity of the sunburn Kaname had gotten would have hampered his natural abilities. The sun exposure and the hunter injury combined and exacerbated by each other meant that Kaname probably wasn't going to bounce back too quickly.

Zero watched him silently for several minutes - listening intently to the cadence of Kaname's breathing and the beat of his heart. He used both his hunter and vampire senses to search for any indication of serious danger, but at least as far as he could tell, he found none. Kaname was not going to be a happy camper for a while, but he was not in any danger.

Zero smiled softly and brushed the fingers of his free hand lightly through the dark, tangled curls lying against the pureblood's forehead. A soft awe filtered through the silver-violet eyes as he looked at his lover. By now he was well used to thinking of Kaname by that description, but suddenly... suddenly the word meant a lot more. It was as if in one day, everything had changed, and yet actually, it was all very much the same. Just... _better_.

For the first time, Zero found himself considering what it would be like to wake up next to this man for the rest of his life. It was something he'd never thought about before, with anyone. Even with Yuki, love her as earnestly as he had, he had never dared hope they'd have very long together. The future had always seemed out of reach. Yet now... it felt almost frighteningly attainable. It was strange, and yet dear to him to have the stability and sureness of knowing that wherever life took him, it was to these arms he would always return and this heart that would be home. _Home. _Zero's throat felt tight. Yes... this was home. Right here, beside Kaname. He was not an interloper or an infatuated parasite sucking off his host's good graces. This was where he belonged. Zero hadn't felt like he had belonged anywhere in years.

The sudden thoughts washing over him surprised the hunter, but not nearly so much as how natural they felt. It was silly, he knew, maybe even sappy of him to feel this way, but he just couldn't get over the awe of it all. Kaname _loved _him, and Zero knew the pureblood well enough by now to know that he would not use that word lightly, nor if he thought he was ever likely to change his mind. It was just... it was just so beautiful he couldn't help the large, stupid grin on his face that thankfully no one could see.

Zero kissed Kaname's forehead gently and slid his arm out from under the other's head, pulling a pillow down to replace it. It was quite late in the evening by now and Zero was feeling both hungry and thirsty, not to mention badly in need of a shower.

Kaname stirred. His eyelids fluttered, but didn't manage to truly open. His breathing quickened a bit raggedly and he mumbled something indistinct.

"Shh..." Zero leaned down and kissed the pureblood's tangled curls again. He knew sleep was the best thing for Kaname right now as his body struggled to right itself. "Go on and rest, I'm just going to go make breakfast. I'll bring some up to you in a little bit, okay?"

He was met with another sleepy, inarticulate murmur and wasn't at all sure Kaname really understood what he'd said, but the pureblood seemed to get that everything was fine and gave a deep, contented smile before his body relaxed and his breathing evened out once more.

Zero slid from under the covers and adjusted them once he was out of bed. He pulled the sheet up to Kaname's chin, carefully covering his body. Sunburned skin was especially temperature sensitive and he didn't want Kaname feeling chilled. Zero returned to his own room for a quick shower and a change of clothes before making his way off in search of food. He figured he would have his own breakfast first, to give Kaname more time to rest, before returning with a meal for the pureblood. Izumi was probably going to give him grief again, but he didn't care. _He _was cooking for Kaname and that was that.

\--------------------------------------

A pall of cigarette smoke hung in the air of the guest house bedroom, but the dark haired hunter within did not bother opening a window as he stubbed his cigarette out in the ash tray. If the blood suckers objected, they could damn well air the place out themselves. He wasn't going to be here much longer, right? The extinguished butt fell amidst a small mound of its fellows. Yagari's smoking tended to increase when he was agitated or unhappy. Right now, he was both.

He'd not slept since he parted from Zero earlier, despite having made an exceptionally early morning of it to accommodate their training session. It was late in the evening now, and a faint hint of fatigue was not improving his mood.

Yagari's single eye gazed morosely around the spacious room. His things were packed. He'd already thrown together the minimal items that he had with him and they were sitting on the bed in readiness. He had only to either take the stuff down to the car that Kaname had made available for his use while he was staying with them, or, if he didn't wish to do that, call a cab. He was all set to go. He'd been set, for hours now... so why was he still here, pacing, smoking, and brooding?

Yagari grabbed his long jacket from the back of a chair and shrugged into it angrily. _Because you're a moronic fool, that's why. _He answered his own unspoken question sardonically. He knew why he was still there. He was waiting... waiting for Zero. Hoping that the boy would come to his senses and seek out the elder hunter's help. He didn't want to remove that option while there was still a chance the boy might take it. He hadn't expected to see Zero during the day, when all good little vampires were asleep and when that damn pureblood was probably... probably keeping him _busy. _But it had been dark for a while now. If Zero was going to come find him, there was nothing to stop him. Except Kuran of course.

Yagari jammed his hat down onto his head and reached for the rifle lying on the foot of the bed. Despite what his head told him, the hunter's heart wouldn't let him just write Zero off. He'd done that before, and it had been a mistake. When he'd seen the young boy with gouges in his neck and hopelessness in his eyes and he'd understood all too well what Zero would become... Yagari had written him off. Because that was just the way things were, as horrible and hideous as it was and he had seen it play out too many times to hope for a different outcome. It was one of the few things that had come close to breaking his and Cross's friendship.

_"Don't walk away from him, Toga! He needs you now more than ever!" Cross spun him around with a hand on his arm, normally gentle eyes flashing with a hint of the deadly spark that Yagari was quite aware hid beneath. _

_"There's nothing I can do," Yagari's dark gaze was filled with pain and a deep bitterness towards the injustice of life and the short, cruel emptiness of his once promising student's future. "The kid's an ex-human vampire, it would have been better if the bitch had killed him with his parents." _

_Next thing he knew, he was on his backside, half sprawled on the ground. The furious punch in the face had nearly broke his nose._

_"Don't say that! You're my dearest friend, Toga, but don't _ever _say that again." _

It was the only time Kaien Cross had ever raised a violent hand towards him, and Cross was probably the only man Yagari would have let get away with that unchallenged. Yagari had seen with his head, but Cross had seen with his heart. And he'd been right.

Yagari couldn't just walk away again now, knowing what kind of a situation he was leaving Zero in. Even though Zero hadn't come to him... the boy still needed him. After all, why should Zero come? Aside from berating him for deceiving himself into whatever state of delusion the kid probably needed to cling to in order to survive the abuse he suffered, had Yagari offered him any actual way out?

The truth was, Yagari didn't know if there was a way out, but he would do his damnedest to make one. Realistically, he realized that Zero couldn't just leave with him without severe consequences. Even if Yagari devoted himself to guarding Zero against the inevitable fallout of losing Kuran's protection and having his execution orders re-instated, that wasn't their only problem. If they ran, they'd no doubt have to contended with Kuran sending people after them too, Yagari was aware that the pureblood could be quite relentless when he wanted to be. The Hunter's Association would offer no assistance. They would not help him if he went against someone as powerful as Kuran without orders or provocation. They would only see Zero as level D who needed to be returned to his keeper. Sooner or later the two hunters would be toast, and if Kuran took Zero back alive and _didn't_ kill him for the betrayal, then Yagari would doubtless have just made Zero's life a whole new level of hell.

No, the only real option was to have it out with Kuran himself and try to force the bastard to give Zero up willingly... or kill him. If he had to. If he could. They were fairly isolated out here and if done right, they would have enough time to disappear before anyone found out. Having the Vampire Council's lackeys out for their heads as pureblood killers was bad, but not as bad as having a specific pureblood hell-bent on finding you.

Yagari pulled the door of the house shut behind him and stalked swiftly and silently towards the main house, blending into the shadows with the easy skill of a veteran hunter as he grew nearer.

He'd told Zero he wasn't going to throw himself in front of another vampire for him... but Yagari knew that was exactly what he was doing now. The end result might be much worse this time. He might not walk away from this one, but he could do nothing else.

\--------------------------------------

Kaname slept peacefully with one arm thrown over his head, the rest of him still under the covers that Zero had settled over him. His tangled, dark hair fanned on the pillow and his features were relaxed in slumber. His sleep was deeper than usual as his body struggled to get to a point where it could begin mending itself. His usually keen senses were completely dulled and repressed by the lingering effects of the hunter poison and the sunburn. Ironically, this helped him sleep deeper, since he was not as hyper-aware of every little sound and movement around him as was usually the case.

It also meant, however, that he did not hear, smell nor sense the figure that slipped silently into his bedroom. He did not stir as stealthy footsteps made their way to his bed with practiced sureness. He did not stir at the soft _ssshhhing _sound made by a rifle being slid from underneath a long leather coat and brought to bear on the bed's lone occupant.

Yagari regarded the sleeping figure, just barely visible to his keen gaze in the deep darkness of the room. The seasoned hunter knew he was good, but he was quite surprised that Kuran had let him get this close. He suspected a trap, but... there was something _off _about the pureblood that was puzzling his hunter senses. Kuran's power levels were registering extremely low, making him appear quite vulnerable. Yagari had never confronted a sleeping pureblood before. Was it natural? Was it a trick to lure prey into a false sense of security? He didn't know, but he wasn't about to be fooled. However... even with all the reason and provocation that he thought he had, he was also too good of a man to kill someone, even a vampire, in their sleep.

The faint, but distinct scent of sex lingered in the air about the bed, giving no doubt as to what kind of recent activities it had seen. There was also the scent of something vaguely sweet, like coconuts, that for some reason brought a beach to mind, but Yagari disregarded the out-of-place scent for the moment. He tried to contain his anger and keep a level head.

Kaname finally seemed to vaguely sense another presence in the room and he gave a soft sigh as sleep and consciousness battled groggily. Perhaps something in him could still register the presence of a hunter... but that did not at all put him on his guard as it should have done. A faint, tender smile played about his bruised lips, invisible in the darkness. "Zero?" the pureblood murmured softly, not really awake.

Yagari's jaw tightened harshly at the confirmation of who the pureblood had entertained himself with in his bed that day. Perhaps he should have wondered more at the vampire making such a mistake in identifying him, but his mind was too hazed with red and filled with disgusting images of what Kuran had probably done to the young hunter.

With swift deftness, Yagari flicked on the small, but powerful miniature klieg light attached to his rifle scope. It was intended to clearly illuminate prey in night hunting conditions and to temporarily blind vampires in the process. It did its job well.

Even with his eyes closed, the intense light hit Kaname's optic nerves like a brilliant stab of pain. Jerked from his sleep and disoriented, his eyes automatically shot open, which was a mistake. The powerful light flooded his vision, making his eyes burn and completely blinding him in its glare.

Kaname cried out softly in shock and pain. He quickly clenched his eyes shut, his arms instinctively flying up, hands crossed, palms out, in a defensive gesture in front of his eyes. Disoriented, blinded and robbed of his other senses, he didn't know what was happening and panic sunk raw, tearing claws into his gut.

He scrambled backwards on the bed in an instinctive attempt to try and escape the source of the light, but he didn't go far. His own physical and sensory blindness trapped him and despite his frightened disorientation, he instinctively knew better than to run blind when you didn't know what you were up against and whether or not you were being forced back into a trap.

Just as instinctively, he knew better than to display any more weakness than he could help. One arm still protecting his eyes, the other had dropped to clutch the sheet covering his naked body, keeping it tugged to up to his chin. This was partially to cover his nudity, but mostly an attempt to hide the extreme picture of vulnerability that his marked up skin would betray. Vulnerability was an invitation to be attacked. All predators knew that.

The pureblood's eyes watered and stung. He blinked rapidly, hand still shielding his eyes from the glare as he struggled to ignore the exploding spots in his vision and make out the figure behind the light. He couldn't. He could see almost nothing of the surrounding room. The only thing he could make out through his swimming vision was the unmistakable shape of the gun barrel staring him straight in the face.

Kaname's stomach was in his toes and his heart was racing in fear. He was vulnerable. So very, hideously vulnerable. His abrupt movements were already screaming pain through his aching body. He had no access to his powers or his strength. He doubted he could get out of bed without falling to his knees, much less fight anyone right now. If this intruder wanted to kill him, he was dead.

Clamping down ruthlessly on the terror that was making his head spin and his stomach churn, Kaname summoned the only thing that was left to him - his iron self control snapping back into place to pull up the mask of confident calm that he did not remotely feel.

"What do you want? How dare you intrude into my private chambers like this?" Kaname hissed coldly and fiercely. Only the slight, traitorous trembling of his hands betrayed his inner feelings.

"I _want _to talk to you, _vampire_, and I want to make sure you listen," a dark, angry voice answered and Kaname was surprised to find that he recognized it.

"Yagari?" he said in quiet shock, blinking against the painful light still stabbing into his head as he tried to get a glimpse of the hunter between his fingers. It was not a reassuring revelation. To be completely helpless at the mercy of a hunter was every vampire's worst nightmare. Kaname's tone had come out much more uncertain than he would have liked and he quickly hardened it again.

"I trust whatever you want to talk about must be fairly important, to take your life in your hands this way," the pureblood said regally, with a hint of dark anger beginning to rise in his own tone. If he wasn't in this helpless state, Yagari would have to be either extremely brave or extremely foolish to confront him in this manner.

The pureblood's arrogant gall in acting like he was in control of the situation when he so obviously was not grated on Yagari, but he was also growing a little puzzled. The harsh glare of the spotlight he had trained on the vampire was revealing things that the darkness had hidden from him before. The pureblood's pale, slender arms were mottled strangely. The intense light was washing out Kaname's sunburn, but it threw the dark, encircling bruises around his wrists and the other distinctly finger-shaped ones on his forearms into sharp relief. It was a surprising sight.

Pureblood vampires did _not _bruise. The only way Kuran would be showing marks like those was if he had already been injured with a hunter weapon... which rather agreed with the still very low power-readings he was getting off of the vampire even now that he was awake. Even more shocking though, was trying to figure out who could have given him such marks. He'd been with Zero, or so Yagari was assuming. But there was no way in hell the proud vampire would have let the boy do something like this to him, right? You didn't harm a pureblood and live.

Suddenly Yagari's gut twisted in pain and sickening apprehension, heart nearly sinking through the floor. _Oh God... had what he'd said to Zero prompted the boy to act out? How dearly had he paid for that? Was he even still alive, or was Yagari too late, __**again**__?_

"Where's Zero?" Yagari demanded harshly, a hint of fear just making itself known under the lethally angry rasp of the words. Moving with graceful hunter speed, he grabbed Kaname's wrist and yanked his hand away from his face, one knee resting on the bed now as he forced his light into the pureblood's face and unprotected eyes.

Kaname gave a choked cry of surprise and pain, clenching his eyes desperately and turning his head away as much as Yagari's grip on him allowed. Pain knifed through his head like rail road spikes being driven through his eye sockets. Vaguely, through his pain, he could tell the hunter was worried about Zero. Worried that the pureblood done something to him. If the situation weren't quite so painful and dangerous, Kaname would have been amused at the intense irony.

Kaname controlled his breathing harshly, his helplessness reinforced by the fact that he didn't have the strength to twist his arm out of Yagari's painfully tight grip. "I-I don't know exactly. He went to make breakfast," the pureblood grit out truthfully through his teeth, still trying to cringe away from the burning light. "He's fine, if that's what you're asking. You can go see for yourself if you don't believe me."

Yagari stared down darkly at the vampire he had trapped against the bed. There was no reason he _should_ believe the pureblood. It seemed fantastic to think that Zero was simply off making breakfast somewhere with the pureblood in this condition, but he froze as he took in Kuran's attractively swollen and bruised lips and the dark outlines of multiple bites and punctures tracing the length of his graceful neck. Someone had been feeding on him, repeatedly and avidly. The pureblood's skin was unusually hot under his touch. This was really weird.

"Right, you expect me to believe that? Let me ask you this then... who is it that did this to you? Who got you with a hunter weapon and left you with these injuries, huh?" Yagari pressed the gun muzzle between the pureblood's clenched eyes.

Kaname swallowed carefully. He understood what Yagari was thinking, it wasn't an unreasonable fear if you didn't know the truth. The pureblood was loathe to air his private life to others, but neither did he particularly wish to be killed over a misunderstanding. He was very conscious of the gun at his head and the fact that in his current state, one pull of that trigger was all it would take.

"Zero did," the pureblood answered quietly, his eyes still screwed shut against the light and his body tense. "But it is not what you think. He did not attack me and I have not harmed him. He did nothing to me that I did not allow him to do, why should I harm him for that? Listen to me, Zero told me you were informed of our... our... relationship," Kaname hadn't meant to stumble on that word, but this was very awkward. "I believe you have a mistaken impression of its nature."

Kaname's heart was pounding. He didn't really expect to be believed, so he was a trifle surprised when Yagari snorted derisively, but released his arm and stepped back a pace, no longer kneeling on the bed. The hunter thankfully moved the light down, away from the pureblood's eyes. The gun remained warily trained on the pureblood, but Yagari reached over with his other hand and turned on the beside lamp before flicking the klieg light off. He wasn't sure he believed Kaname, but he _was_ sure that the vampire was currently a very manageable threat. It was obvious he was extremely weakened or the hunter would never have gotten away with manhandling him like that. Yagari was angry, but while there was the possibility that Zero might in fact be okay, he was not inclined to be more cruel than the situation required. Kuran was a puzzling specimen of a vampire, he always had been.

Kaname's tense body sagged slightly in relief when the burning light was finally removed, replaced by a much gentler one. He hesitantly blinked his eyes open. They ached and blinding spots and flashes still danced freely before them, making everything seem unusually dark. But vision was at least possible now and he could make out Yagari's dark, blurry form standing beside the bed, gun still trained on him. The pureblood pushed painfully up to sit, sheet still clutched self-consciously to his chest even though Yagari had obviously already seen some of the marks he couldn't hide.

In more normal lighting, Yagari was now aware of Kuran's obvious sunburn, which explained the heat of his skin and the sweet, sun lotion smell, but only increased Yagari's confused curiosity. Kaname had _let _Zero bruise and feed from him this way? How was that even remotely possible? He just couldn't imagine it. He shook his head.

"Oh I think I see pretty clearly. You've always been a clever one, Kuran. I'll give you that. Maybe you really have made Zero think he wants to be with you, but a whore's a whore, no matter how much you try to dress it up," he said with dark, biting anger.

Kaname's reaction shocked the hunter. The pureblood's whole countenance changed. He snarled darkly and surged forward, despite his obviously weakened and disadvantaged state. He was checked only by Yagari's rifle jamming quickly against his heart and pulling him up short. One of Kaname's hands was still holding the sheet to him, but the other curled angrily into the mattress as he leaned on it, head swimming slightly from the surge of adrenaline and body almost trembling with anger. "Zero is no such thing. Don't you _ever _call him that again!" he demanded furiously, headless of the gun digging into his chest through the flimsy protection of the sheet.

The pureblood's dark eyes snapped fire and for a moment Yagari was transfixed. For some reason, he was jerked back to the look he'd seen in Cross's eyes the one time his friend had punched him. Perhaps it was because of the emotion in the sparking gaze, the protectiveness and... the care. Yagari had no idea how to deal with or understand what he was seeing. It was impossible that Kuran cared for Zero as anything but a slave and a pawn... yet that wasn't what his eyes said. It wasn't what his body said.

"I don't understand you," Yagari said quietly, his voice still hard, but having lost some of its lethalness. "I don't know what your game is. I just don't want to see Zero hurt any more. He deserves better than that. He's a great kid who's had a lot of bad breaks. You can have anything you want, _anyone_ you want... why Zero? Why are you so interested in an ex-human? What's your plans for him?"

Despite the situation, Yagari's obvious, and very real concern for Zero struck an answering note in the pureblood. They were on the same side, Yagari just didn't know it. Kaname could not be too angry with the elder hunter for wanting merely to protect the boy that he himself loved more than life. Yagari's questions amused Kaname in spite of everything, and he smiled faintly.

"Are you asking me what my intentions are towards your pupil and whether or not they're honorable? You sound like a worried father..."

Yagari scowled. "He's been through enough! He doesn't need or deserve to have some son of a bitch bloodsucker like you mucking with his emotions and screwing him up like this!"

Kaname regarded the hunter evenly, knowing that as hard as it was for him to divulge such intimately personal information, the time had come for truth. If it was just a matter of his own safety, he would have been more reticent, but this was for Zero. Zero needed his Sensei's approval and support, Kaname would not have Yagari continuing to think that the young hunter was nothing but some kind of toy or diversion.

Fixing the hunter with a flat, no-nonsense look, Kaname dropped the sheet he'd been holding to his chest. It slid down his body, falling away to puddle to his lap. Embarrassment burned hotly through him but was overridden by determination as his fingers curled in the rumpled sheets, pulling them over further, so that one graceful hip and leg were also revealed. He kept the covers bunched in his lap, protecting his modesty, but he knew Yagari would not believe unless he had seen. The pureblood's motions revealed the full, clear picture of passion and possession that was written across his bruised, delicate skin. The cut across the front of his shoulder told how he had come to this state. The teeth marks on his nipples, his stomach and inner thigh - the distinctly finger shaped bruises on his arms, ribs and hip... they all told an irrefutably clear story.

Kaname's sunburn thankfully hid his painful flush at being so exposed to the hunter's shocked gaze. _For Zero. This was for Zero. _

"Look at me," Kaname said simply, his soft tone commanding and firm despite his silent humiliation. "Who do _you_ think was doing the _screwing _here yesterday?"

Kaname's sense of embarrassment was at least eased a little by getting to see Yagari flush all the way from his neck to the roots of his hair.

"I'm not using Zero," the pureblood continued softly and seriously. He pulled the covers back over his legs, his gaze remaining earnestly fixed on the hunter. "I'm not playing with him, and I'm not abusing him. I love him." The admission was quiet, but irrefutably firm and resolute. The deep intensity in the pureblood's eyes defied anyone to call his love a lie. It burned in his gaze much too clearly and brightly. "That's why he can do this to me and it's fine. I _wanted _him to, because I belong to him as surely as he belongs to me. I want to protect him and I want him to be happy. That's why I give him my blood freely to preserve his sanity. That's why I train and spar with him. That's why I brought you here to teach him the things I cannot. That's why I want him to be able to achieve fullest extent of his ability in all realms. That's why, although you have no business with our personal affairs, I'm telling you all this now. I assure you, I could not care less what you think of me, but your opinion means the world to Zero. Your rejection is a crushing blow to him that he does not deserve. If you came here to try to get me to give him up, then I'm afraid that's quite impossible. But if you really wish to be sure that Zero is in good hands, then I promise that you do not have to worry about my intentions for him. My intentions are that I want to spend the rest of my life with him."

Yagari was shocked beyond words. Never in a million years had he expected to hear what he was hearing. He would have thought the pureblood was lying, except that it would have been a completely stupid lie. If Kaname merely wanted to save himself, he could have come up with something much more believable. For a pureblood to admit to _loving _an ex-human, not to mention allowing one to possess them would be the ultimate, most shameful blow to their pride imaginable. Yagari didn't think there was a single one of these proud, arrogant creatures that would stoop to that even to save their own hides... if it wasn't true.

Kaname's eyes said it _was_ true. So did his body. The proof was just too strong to deny, no matter how incredible it all seemed and how disinclined Yagari was to trust a vampire. After all, here Kuran was, looking like hell and completely vulnerable, something that no pureblood worth their salt would ever want to allow to happen. Why would he have ever let Zero do something like this to him if he _wasn't _emotionally invested?

Despite himself, Yagari knew that if Kaname was serious... if he really did want to protect Zero and look out for him, then Zero could actually be in no better hands. Not only was Kuran's blood uniquely suited to help the ex-human keep from falling to a Level E, not only did being in Kuran's syndeo keep Zero from facing execution, but being Kuran's protégé gave Zero a certain legitimacy in vampire culture, while keeping him safe from all the other bloodsuckers who would see an unclaimed ex-human without a sire as free candy to be used up and passed around without regard.

If he looked at Kuran's actions in _that_ light... it painted a wildly different picture than the one he'd been seeing before. It was still hard for Yagari to come to terms with this idea, but he could not help grudgingly respecting the pureblood a little more as the facts started to re-align into this new way of thinking.

There was a lot about this he still didn't like and wasn't comfortable with, such as the whole guys loving guys thing, which still seemed creepy and unnatural to him. But he cared and was open minded enough to not reject Zero on sexual orientation alone. If this was good for Zero... if there was a chance that Kuran was serious about wanting to make him happy, then maybe it wasn't _so _bad.

Yagari's mind jumped back to the fang marks on Zero's neck earlier as his gaze lingered on the similar marks on Kaname's now. If Kuran was letting Zero drink his blood direct, not just giving it to him in cups or vials, and he was obviously partaking in the same, then...

Kaname read the question in the hunter's eyes as they lingered on his neck. "Yes, he and I are blood bonded," he responded quietly. "But I need you to promise not to reveal that to anyone else, for Zero's sake. If others know he is my weakness, the danger for him will be intense."

Yagari nodded silently, and Kaname did not doubt that he could be trusted in this. The elder hunter obviously did not want harm to come to Zero.

Yagari pushed his hat back on his head with one hand, obviously at a loss for words. The rifle was now held much more loosely in his other hand although it was still pointed at Kaname. Lifelong habit refused to let him let his guard down around a vampire, but he had to admit that he had a lot to think about now.

\--------------------------------------

Zero set the breakfast tray he'd made for Kaname down on the small table in the hall so he could open the bedroom door. He'd made Kaname a special tea, infused with blood tablets, but he'd filled the cup too full and it was threatening to slosh every time he moved the tray if he wasn't careful.

Even as he opened the door though, Zero's senses became alert. He had the unmistakable feeling that there was someone else in the room, besides Kaname. He knew that his lover would not willingly let even Seiren see him in his current state so his concern was instantly engaged. He slid the door open swiftly and silently... and his stomach dropped through the floor in horror.

He took in the scene in an instant. Kaname was sitting on the bed, obviously having been caught unawares, probably in his sleep, considering he was still naked and covered only by the sheet over his lap. Yagari stood beside the bed, a rifle pointed at the pureblood's heart.

Zero knew the mood Yagari had been in when last they parted. He knew that Kaname was completely vulnerable right now because he had allowed _Zero _to make him so. Fear constricted his lungs so sharply he physically couldn't breathe. If any harm came to Kaname _now_, especially because of him... Zero would never forgive himself and he'd never recover. He didn't know what he'd do... he'd probably go crazy.

"NO!" Moving faster than he'd ever moved before, Zero was across the room in a hearbeat. He threw himself between his teacher and his lover, standing defensively before the bed, the barrel of Yagari's rifle now pressing squarely against his own chest as he shielded Kaname with his body.

Zero held his hands out to the side in a gesture both of protectiveness and appeasement. He didn't want to have to fight Yagari. It would kill him to be forced to do so, but to protect the weakened pureblood on the bed, he would fight to the death... against anyone.

"No, Master, please! Don't hurt him!" Zero was almost shaking from the terror that had shot through him a moment ago. "I already told you, I'm with him because I _want _to be." Zero's eyes were anguished but his voice was firm. "I know this is hard for you to believe but I'm not deluded or being manipulated. Kaname _is _a good person and I... I... love him." Zero swallowed, his voice a trifle hoarse. Yagari could hate him, could think he was a hopeless idiot, a depraved monster and a slut and he would just have to live with that. He couldn't risk Kaname.

With sinuous speed, vines were forming behind Zero, twining around the bed and climbing towards the ceiling. If there was a fight, Zero didn't want any stray shots striking his lover... nor did he want Kaname trying to become involved when he was in no shape to do so. He was swiftly starting to form a thick shield of vines around the pureblood to protect him.

"I can't live without him," Zero rasped softly, his throat almost swelling closed. "So if you want to hurt him, you're going to have to go through me."

The gut-twisting irony of this situation was not lost on the young hunter. It was not the first time he'd stood between Yagari and a vampire, protesting their worthiness to live. But just because he'd been wrong then, didn't mean he was wrong now. In truth... he hadn't even been wrong then, he had merely made the youthful mistake of not realizing the desperately unstoppable effects of blood lust. The woman who had taken his teacher's eye _had _been a good person. She had simply been taken over by something stronger than herself that she could not fight. Zero hadn't been able to understand that distinction then. He understood it now. The unfortunate souls who lost themselves in the horror of that which they were never meant to be _had_ to be put down, but being a vampire - whether born or made - did not make you evil. Surely, many _were _evil, but then, was not human history also soaked with the blood shed by tyrants, despots, genocide and serial killers? There were good and bad humans, there were good and bad vampires. Somehow, Zero knew that now in a way that he had never really been able to accept before.

Kaname was not a monster. _He _was not a monster. The potential was in them, certainly, but they chose against it.

Kaname's heart jumped back into his throat upon seeing the gun pressed against Zero's chest. As the vines started to grow around him, he realized in panic what Zero was doing. He was deeply touched at what his beloved was willing to do to protect him, but he didn't want this to spiral out of control.

Scrambling to the edge of the bed and kneeling up behind Zero, he wrapped his arms around the young hunter's shoulders, hugging him gently but urgently from behind and preventing the vines from cutting them off from one another. "No, Zero, it's okay..." he assured quickly.

Yagari stumbled back with a muttered curse of surprise, quickly yanking his gun down harmlessly towards the floor, heart pounding. Zero could have gotten himself fricking _killed _jumping in front of the older hunter with his vampire aura swirling like that. But he had to admit he admired the boy's courage. If Zero actually said he _loved_ this vampire, then Yagari did not doubt he meant it. Seeing Zero's obvious devotion, following on what Kaname had told him, emphasized by the protective way the pureblood was now clinging to the ex-human as if he could pull Zero to safety, was enough to make up Yagari's mind.

As ridiculous and incredible as it was... these two were for real.

"Relax, kid, I'm not going to hurt anyone, okay?" Yagari assured wryly, holstering the rifle and holding his hands up in front of him in a gesture of peace. "Kuran and I were just having a little... chat..." he shot the pureblood a rueful look and Kaname grinned, his body sagging just slightly against Zero as the tension bled out of the situation.

"I guess maybe I did have the wrong idea about a couple things," Yagari admitted, gaze still holding Kaname's with a hint of remorse. His tone was gruff, but it was obviously something like a sort-of apology for the way he'd stormed in here.

Kaname acknowledged it with a faint nod. As long as it all ended well, then for Zero's sake he was willing to overlook what had happened. He still had spots dancing in front of his eyes, he was distinctly embarrassed and a decade or too may have been shaved off his life from fright, but no real harm had been done.

Yagari read that in the pureblood's eyes and his respect for Kuran went up another tiny notch. Purebloods were petty creatures, if Kuran was willing to put aside the humiliation of being cornered by a hunter in this fashion without batting an eye... then that said something for his character. The hunter's gaze switched back to Zero. "I may have overreacted earlier. You say this is what you want. Okay, I respect that."

Zero seemed shocked at this turn of events, not having expected this kind of acceptance from his Sensei. It warmed his heart deeply and he hesitantly relaxed a little. His hand strayed up to curl protectively around Kaname's where the pureblood's rested against his chest. He was a little too aware of Kaname's naked body pressing against his back, but he tried not to show it. The vines surrounding the bed retracted slowly and vanished.

"Thank you," Zero murmured softly. The hesitant part of him that was still just a young man who craved his teacher's approval showed through a bit in his gaze.

Kaname buried his face against the side of Zero's neck, nuzzling him and planting a light kiss on his lover's throat. The pureblood's body was on fire, his head was swimming and being close to Zero helped.

Zero's cheeks flushed pink and he shifted uncomfortably as he saw Yagari watching them, eyebrows raised. _"Um..." _he cleared his throat slightly, tilting his head away a little in a clear _not now! _gesture directed towards Kaname. But he didn't pull away. He could tell that the arms wrapped around him were clinging to him now as much for support as to embrace him. Kaname trembled slightly against his back. Zero knew how important it was for him to appear strong in front of others. His fingers curled tighter around his lover's hand. He would not let him be further humiliated in front of Yagari. Resolutely, he lifted his free hand and stroked Kaname's hair gently.

Yagari looked away and coughed as if to remind them that he was there. _Damn, _this was awkward... and yet, as much as it squicked him to see them hanging on each other like that, it reassured him and touched his heart too, more than he would admit.

Kaname slowly lifted his head, the motion trying to appear lazy instead of labored. "Well, are you satisfied now that I mean your apprentice no harm, master hunter?" he inquired wryly.

Yagari rubbed the back of his neck, giving his head a small shake. His expression was rueful. "I was wrong about you, Kuran and I apologize. If you mean what you say, then I'm glad you're in Zero's life. If you don't, and you ever hurt him... I _will _hunt you down," the older man said seriously.

_"Master!"_ Zero protested, flushing again in mortification.

Kaname grinned. Complete opposites he and Yagari might be, but they were united at least in their protectiveness towards a certain silver-haired young man. "You sound like his father again," the pureblood remarked in amusement. He half kissed, half nibbled Zero's ear playfully. "I promise I'll be _very _good to him..."

_"Kaname!"_ Zero protested again, embarrassed to death at his lover's suggestive tone and at the way they were talking about him.

Yagari frowned at Kaname's display, but despite himself, he seemed to be a little amused this time as well. "Yeah... well... I guess I'm the closest thing he's got. So you better be, and you'd better believe I mean what I say."

"_Hello_... _HE_ is standing right _here_... stop talking like I'm not in the room!" Zero's ineffectual protests fell on deaf ears, although he sounded like he'd already conceded defeat. If Yagari and Kaname double teamed him, he knew he hadn't a chance.

Kaname smiled, his arms tightening around Zero as he held Yagari's gaze. "I do believe it. I would not have asked you into our lives if I did not believe that you hold his best interests at heart as much as I do."

Zero rolled his eyes and gave up.

Yagari gave a wry half-smile. This was one crazy, screwed up world, wasn't it?

Kaname released Zero and sank back down onto the bed, pulling the covers with him with effort and breathing carefully. Zero could tell that Kaname really needed to recoup, and he shifted an uncertain gaze towards Yagari.

Apparently, Yagari could tell the same, although he was gracious enough to not acknowledge the weakness that Kuran was unable to help displaying. The older hunter laid his hand on Zero's shoulder and gave it a little squeeze. He wasn't sure how to act... but finally gave up and just did what came natural. _What the hell... so what if they were guys? _

"Hey, nice work, kid..." he said, giving Zero a dry, meaningful _nudge-nudge, wink-wink_ kind of look as he jerked his head towards Kaname.

Kaname gave him a decidedly cool glare, not pleased at being eluded to as the object of a sexual conquest, which of course amused the senior hunter and had probably been his intention in the first place. Zero flushed even more deeply and looked like he wished he could hide under the bed.

Yagari smirked slightly and ruffled Zero's hair. Then his gaze turned more serious. "Are you going to be... okay?" he asked quietly. His manner was concerned and a little awkward. As Zero looked back towards Kaname on the bed he understood why. The pureblood's eyes had gone faintly red and his chest was heaving softly in contained distress. Recent events had obviously been too much for his weakened body. When he found them both looking at him, Kaname must have realized that his eyes were changing without his consent, because he quickly closed them and leaned his head back against the pillow.

Zero's gaze shot quickly back to Yagari. "Yes," he said firmly and without hesitation. "He won't hurt me, Sensei," he said softly and earnestly. "He'll never take from me unless I give it willingly."

Yagari searched Zero's face, finding only deep conviction there. _I hope so, for your sake Zero._ "And are you going to?" he asked softly. He knew he probably shouldn't have asked, if he didn't want to know the answer. Yet... maybe he did want to know. He need to know that this was Zero's choice. Even if he found the whole idea of blood sharing repulsive.

Zero swallowed his natural aversion to answering such a question, especially considering the source. He squared his shoulders. "Yes," said simply. "I care about him, and I don't want him to suffer." _If you think I'm an animal, then okay, I can't change that. But even animals are true to those who are important to them. _

Something in Zero's eyes and his bearing spoke to Yagari. The angst ridden, hopeless boy who had been ready to let Yagari kill him when he'd first come to the Cross Academy because he had so little faith in his own reason to live had changed. He had become a young man who was confident enough in his feelings and his sense of worth to admit without flinching that he was going to let another vampire drink his blood... because he felt it was the right thing to do. It was a huge change, and setting aside whatever he may feel about the particulars, Yagari couldn't help feeling that it was a good one. His gaze darted momentarily to Kaname. The pureblood's eyes were open again and he was watching the unfolding conversation quietly. For a brief moment some unreadable, gentler emotion flickered in the elder hunter's weathered eye. If Kaname had helped bring about this change, then maybe the pureblood really wasn't so bad. For a blood sucker.

Yagari gave a small nod. He didn't have to like the idea, but he respected Zero's right to make these decisions. "Okay then. But I expect to see you back for lessons again tomorrow."

Zero's sudden smile showed surprise and delight. "Y-you mean you're not leaving?"

Yagari grinned. "Nope, not getting rid of me that easy." He turned and headed for the door. It would take time for him to truly reconcile himself to this whole situation... but he was all right enough with it to be willing to leave Zero in this room with a hungry pureblood vampire, and that said something. He tossed a wave and a sardonic "have fun" from the doorway, and disappeared.

After he was gone. Zero slid onto the bed, sitting next to Kaname. He leaned on one arm, his other gently brushing the pureblood's hair as he looked down into his blood colored eyes without fear.

"You didn't have to tell him," Kaname whispered softly, aware what it must have cost Zero to admit he was going to give his blood to another vampire.

Zero smiled faintly. "Yes, I did. He needs to know that this is what I've chosen. _You _are what I've chosen," he murmured.

Kaname blinked and swallowed the warm, adoring lump in his throat. "I love you," he murmured in a soft, choked whisper.

Zero leaned down, kissing him gently, his fingers curling into Kaname's hair. "You too."

Carefully, Zero pulled the neck of the t-shirt he was wearing further aside, baring his neck invitingly for his lover as he leaned close. "I made you some breakfast," he whispered. "I'll go get it in a minute. But I think... you need this first?"

Kaname gave a small nod, inhaling Zero's scent deeply with a soft groan. He did. He was hurting and famished and he needed blood... but more than that, so much more than that... he wanted _Zero's _blood. Because it was part of Zero, part of his lover's essence. His lips caressed Zero's neck slowly, tenderly, kissing and sucking warmly.

Zero shivered as he leaned over Kaname, his fingers knotting in the sheets on either side of his lover's shoulders as Kaname's lips and tongue made his pulse raise and his body beg breathlessly for the fangs that would follow. The ex-human exhaled softly in an almost-moan as the beautifully sharp teeth finally claimed him and he felt the rush of his blood being drawn. So long he'd hated the thought of this... been afraid of it... but now he wanted nothing more than to give Kaname his blood... his body... his heart... his soul.

He cradled Kaname tenderly as his lover drank passionately and hungrily, the pureblood's body trembling softly with his need. It was an unusual and intoxicating feeling. Aside from the occasions when they'd been in too much danger or and too much of a hurry for him to really think about it, Kaname didn't usually _need _him like this. He finally understood why his own bouts of blood lust effected Kaname the way they did. There was something beautiful about knowing you could provide that which your loved one needed.

"Did Yagari hurt you?" he asked softly, almost fearing the answer. Kaname had been so vulnerable, and it had been his fault. "I'm sorry..."

Kaname shook his head slightly, drinking slower now so as not to risk hurting Zero, but unwilling to disengage from his neck just yet. Yagari _had _hurt him, but not seriously, and it wasn't Zero's fault. "He was just worried about you, Zero. He's a good man. Just don't ever tell him I said that." He grinned, releasing Zero's neck just long enough to speak before he slid his fangs back in sensually.

Zero chuckled, his breath trembling in delight at the sensation of Kaname's fangs penetrating him again. "Okay, deal," he agreed wryly.

Despite the blood that Zero gave him freely, Kaname healed slowly from his injuries and sun exposure. It was two days before he was able to walk about without pain or be touched without flinching. He informed Zero – daily – just how much being anything close to human sucked, but he certainly seemed to enjoy all the sympathy and consideration it garnered him from his lover. Zero waited on the pureblood hand and foot and attended his every need with gentle care, although towards the end he began to suspect that Kaname was rather enjoying all the attention and was no longer quite as bad off as he let on.

Zero felt inclined to complain that it wasn't fair that after a burn that bad, Kaname didn't even peal, something for which Kaname was very grateful as he found that thought utterly revolting. The pureblood did, however, tan quite nicely, which caused those who knew him to do a serious double-take when they saw him, especially Aido, Kain and Takuma upon their next visit. Kaname was naturally extremely fair skinned and it wasn't every day you saw a vampire sporting a beach-boy tan. Zero swore the look was very attractive, despite how fast it faded. Kaname, however, was not of the opinion it was worth the price, although he allowed that Zero could probably _make_ it worthwhile...

**\--------------------------------------**

**Epilogue**

The breeze rustled softly through the cemetery trees and through the hair of the two young men making their way towards a certain marble gravestone.

Yuki had been laid to rest beside the man she had called father for most of her short life. Both Zero and Kaname respectfully touched Kaien Cross' headstone before stopping to stand before Yuki's grave. What had once been raw, torn up earth over her coffin had now healed over into a soft, green carpet of grass.

The pureblood and the ex-human stood silently for several long moments, dealing with the bittersweet memories they would always carry of the girl they had both loved. The girl who they would have done everything for. The girl who had believed in both of them, who had brought them together and enabled enemies to become lovers who could now face anything, even the horrible pain of her loss, as long as they were together.

Neither Zero nor Kaname had not been here since her funeral. It wasn't that they hadn't wanted to... but the pain had been too raw, the memories too painful. Silently, Kaname slipped his hand into Zero's. They squeezed each other tightly.

By silent agreement, they both knelt before the headstone. Zero placed one hand on the top of the cool marble. Kaname lightly traced Yuki's name with his fingertips.

"We haven't found who did this to you yet, Yuki," the pureblood whispered softly. "I'm sorry. But we will. Zero and I are working on it together, and I promise if I have to search for as long as I live, we _will_ get justice for you."

Zero swallowed carefully. He would have expected it to feel silly to talk to her like this, but kneeling here with Kaname... it didn't. It was true that Yuki may be beyond hearing them, but these were things _they _needed to say. And who knew... maybe somewhere, she did hear them. He liked to think that.

"And don't worry, okay?" he said softly, his voice a little thick with emotion. "I'm making sure he doesn't run himself into the ground doing it. I know you wouldn't want that."

Kaname gave a soft, choked little laugh. "He's one to talk you know. He's the one who fell asleep on his reports the other night because he'd been up all day tracking down a lead."

Zero sniffed and chuckled, wiping his blurring eyes on the end of his sleeve. "Hey, quit tattling, you'll worry her."

Kaname wiped his own eyes with his palm, smiling despite the tears. "Idiot," he said softly and with deep affection.

"Jerk," Zero retorted with equal affection, smiling back.

"We miss you, Yuki. And we... we wanted you to know that we're going to be okay," Kaname murmured softly, his palm resting on the gravestone. Yuki's love, her innocent faith in both of them had opened their hearts and ironically ended up giving them what they would both need in order to survive her loss. Given them the ability to see past the barriers of race and prejudice and find true love in the unlikeliest of places.

"I wonder sometimes, if you knew how we felt long before we did. You were always so insightful that way. But I wanted to tell you myself... I love Zero," Kaname whispered. "So you don't have to worry, because I'm always going to look out for him. I'll make sure he remembers to smile and not be so serious all the time."

Zero gave a shaky, rueful smile. "I, um... I love this idiot too," he said softly, having to wipe more tears off on his shirt cuff until it was completely soaked. "I'll take care of him, so he never has to face the world alone. And I'll try to get him to stop blaming himself for everything. Including your death, which was _not _his fault."

Zero had turned and was looking straight at Kaname now. He didn't know if he'd ever told him that, but he needed to set that right between them. He did not blame Kaname for Yuki's death, and he wished that the pureblood wouldn't either.

Kaname blinked, tears swimming in his eyes again as he looked at the hunter. "Zero... I... it was..."

Zero shook his head firmly. He knew all the facts now, everything Kaname had found out. But it didn't matter. Even if Yuki _was _targeted because of her relationship with him, that did not make it the pureblood's fault. "_No_, Kaname. It _wasn't._ She wouldn't want you carrying that, and neither do I."

Kaname's shoulders shook and he sank his head into his hands. Zero wrapped his arms around the other vampire, pulling Kaname close and hugging him fiercely as soft sobs shook through the pureblood's body. He kissed Kaname's hair, crying with him, grieving, letting go, and finding peace.

Kaname curled his arms around Zero and held him tightly. It would take time for him to try to actually accept what Zero said, maybe a long, long time. But right now, the hunter's love and support were enough to make a world of difference to him. The sobs were pained... but they were also freeing. It was as if the tears were purging him of the soul destroying pain and grief he'd carried so long alone, melting them into the softer, sweeter ache of his and Zero's shared sorrow.

After a while, the tears stopped and they both felt better. Kaname pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped his eyes. He offered the unused half of it to Zero, who was running out of dry spots on his shirt cuffs. "Um... here..." he said with a wry little grin. "These are somewhat easier to launder..."

Zero rolled his eyes and chuckled, accepting the offered handkerchief.

"We'll always remember you, Yuki." Zero touched her headstone again one more time. "And we really will be okay, I promise. Thank you... for... for everything." His gaze strayed to Kaname with pure, aching love in their amethyst depths. _Thank you, for being so gentle and teaching me to look beyond what I had been taught, so I could see the treasure that was right in front of me. _

The look in Zero's eyes filled Kaname's heart, leaving no room for emptiness as he leaned over and gave the hunter a tender, chaste kiss.

"Thank you," he murmured in agreement. _Thank you for giving me something to hold onto all those years, for bringing this boy into my life, and for helping me accept the possibility that I could love and cherish someone I would have never expected I would. _

Kaname looked at Zero, and Zero nodded. Pressing his hands to the earth on the top of the grave mound, Zero closed his eyes. Slowly, small, pale green shoots began to sprout from the earth. They were not like the vines Zero usually created. These were actual, physical plants that he was coaxing to grow from the earth. They would persist even after he left, following the natural cycles of nature as if they had been grown and planted normally. These were harder to create than his usual, temporary vines, and Zero concentrated intently as the shoots slowly grew and budded, turning into a beautiful ramble of climbing roses that completely covered the length of Yuki's grave and twined up her headstone like a gentle embrace.

Kaname laid his hand on Zero's back, lending him strength. The buds began to open and unfold, revealing striking, pale violet roses. Zero looked over at Kaname, giving him a small nod this time and Kaname removed his hand, silently slicing open his right palm with the nails of his left hand.

Clenching his fist, Kaname held it out over the grave, letting his blood fall upon the growing vines. Where the drops fell, the budding roses changed, blooming a deep, velvety scarlet. Kaname wiped his already healed palm on his handkerchief before stuffing it away in his pocket again. He crouched beside Zero, hand once more on his lover's back as he silently watched the violet and ruby roses grow together in a beautiful, intimate tangle. Distinct, and yet part of one another... much like his and Zero's hearts.

After a few minutes, Zero removed his hands from the earth, and Kaname helped him rise, sliding an arm around Zero's waist as much to be near him as to offer support. As they stood together, looking at the roses, a strong breeze brushed across them like angel breath from another world, stirring the blossoms and sending the strong, sweet scent of the flowers' perfume dancing on the breeze. The wind in the trees almost sounded like laughter, and both vampires felt a warm, deep sense of peace. It was almost as if somewhere, beyond the reaches of this world, Yuki was smiling at them, bidding them to laugh, to love and to live in happiness, promising that she would watch over them until the day they should all meet again.

Kaname and Zero left the cemetery hand in hand. Their hearts were no longer empty. They were full now. Full of memories, full of dreams for the future, and full of one another and the beautiful, tenuous beginnings of the love they shared.

They walked in comfortable silence back towards the car that was waiting for them. The driver had the radio on. It was turned down respectfully low and no one else would have noticed, but vampire hearing enabled snatches of the soft refrain to carry to them on the wind.

_"There's a life inside of me, that I can feel again..." _

Kaname paused, looking over at Zero with a soft smile.

_"It's the only thing that takes me where I've never been..." _

Zero smiled back, a little shyly since they were now in view of the car, even if the driver was the only one in it.

_"I don't care if I lost everything that I have known..." _

Their fingers twined, their eyes held. Their hearts sped up, perfectly in sync.

_"It don't matter where I lay my head tonight... your arms feel like home feel like home." _

Kaname pulled Zero into his arms, and Zero let him, fingers curling into the back of Kaname's jacket as their lips met. They kissed tenderly, and then they just held each other, faces buried against each other's necks, holding tight and inhaling the comforting familiarity of one another's scents. At this moment in time, it was as if the song was made for them. Yes... these arms... these two hearts that beat together... this was their life. This was everything that was important right here. As long as they held onto that... they could face anything. Even the future. And it could be beautiful.

THE END

* * *

_A/N: The song mentioned at the end of the fic is "Your Arms Feel Like Home" by 3 Doors Down. _ _This is not the end, but rather the beginning, for Kaname and Zero anyway. If time and inspiration allows, I plan to be writing more stories in this series, following off this one. _

_Hopefully no one is too disappointed that I haven't wrapped up the identity of Yuki's killer in this story. It just didn't end up working with the flow of the plot. This story was more about getting Kaname and Zero together and to the place where they are at now. In the end, I almost felt it was better to not yet have that resolved, because it really shows their strength and courage that even with those issues still unresolved, they are starting to find enough peace and courage to dare to move on and live again. There isn't always the opportunity for perfect closure in the real world, sometimes we have to struggle to make sense of things that don't make sense, but they are strong enough to survive that and come out the other side. :) _

_I do have another sequel planned which I hope to write soon, and that will deal with revealing the mystery surrounding Yuki's death, so those questions will eventually be answered. Thanks to everyone for their patience. _


End file.
